Two Questions?

opinion 2 I have two questions: What do you all do when your charges are napping? Do you clean, wash/fold laundry, prepare meals......

My second question is.......what would you say are the average responsibilities of a nanny. What are things that would make a nanny be taken advantage of when it comes to housework?


meganrose said...

I do all of the above. My charge naps anywhere from 2-3 hour, which gives me a large window to get stuff done during the nap. I usually wash and fold laundry as well as put it away, I clean up our morning mess, set up whatever activity we plan on doing in the afternoon, squeeze in a 30-45 minute nap, or prepare dinner.

I think if you are going to do housework, make sure you discuss with your boss how much work you are doing, and what tasks are expected. If it is not in your contract, your boss will think you don't mind doing the work and may start leaving lists of work that need to be done throughout the day.

Texas Nanny said...

I have two charges right now, and their naps often stagger so that any time one is asleep, the other is awake.

I do the children's laundry as needed, but not during their naps. My MB believes we should get the kids helping around the house as early as possible, and one of the 2 year old's favorite things to do is laundry. I save laundry for when he's awake because he gets upset if I do it without him. (He also likes helping to prepare meals, make coffee, and vacuum.)

When both kids are sleeping, my priority is that I get to RELAX. I get online. I heat up and eat my lunch so I won't have to share. I talk to MB. THEN I do the kids' dishes if there are any.

The household tasks at most of my jobs have been:
- straightening up after the kids (though we encourage the 2 year old to clean up after himself)
- washing bottles and toddler dishes
- washing, drying, folding, and putting away the kids' clothes

I don't touch anyone else's clothes - your underwear is not in my contract. If I don't get the laundry completely done, but I did start it, I expect my bosses to finish it and not just leave it for me to do. (They're good about this usually!) And I don't do any additional housework.

If I were a live-in, I'd probably do more around the house because it's looking after my own, shared environment, but since I live on my own I have my own house to keep clean. I don't think it's fair to expect a nanny to work 40+ hours a week including significant housework in her only down time, considering she has her own home and sometimes family to look after as well.

nycmom said...

My nanny does pretty much the same household chores as listed above:

-generally clean up after self and kids (pick up toys, wipe counter after preparing meals)
-kids laundry
-keeping kids' rooms organized and changing over seasonal clothes (though in reality I usually do it)
-run, load, and empty dishwasher
-change garbage bag if it gets full while she is there
-prepare kids' meals (how else would they eat when we aren't home:)
-family laundry. This was actually not in her original contract nor something I would normally ask. I think at her second year review, when the work with the kids was much easier, she asked if she could take this over for extra pay (and we reduced Hkers hours a bit).

I also include a few other "duties" in our contract that are not really housework, but more household management. In reality, none arise very often, but I prefer to include it just in case:

-writing items needed on grocery list (we get Fresh Direct delivery 1-2x/week) and occasionally buying something we need at the store. She goes to the store less than once a month.
-take kids to doctor appointments if needed. I always do routine appointments and call in for urgent ones I can't attend. She has not needed to manage an appointment alone in the last two years, but I keep it in there just in case and I did take my nanny to meet our pediatrician so she would be comfortable.
-buying a needed clothing item, school suppy, or birthday party gift if needed last minute. My nanny actually likes shopping (I hate it) so she often asks if she can pick up things for my toddler. She "needs" to do this for me maybe twice a year. She chooses to do it maybe 6 times a year.
-speaking Spanish and only Spanish to my kids at all times. This one is easy since that is her first language and my kids are verbally fluent. Plus, I interviewed only Spanish-speakers since this was a primary goal.

However, as Texas Nanny mentioned, I like my nanny to do these things WITH my kids more than while they nap. My kids are all 3yo+ now and none nap (older two in school) so actually the more challenging part of the job is reinforcing personal responsibility to the kids and NOT simply doing everything for them. For example, after dinner, all 3 kids are supposed to take their own dishes to the sink and put them in the dishwasher. If they need something while eating, like extra ketchup or drink, they are supposed to get up and get it themselves. I find my nanny tends to still "baby" them a bit, partly because she is kind and party because, as any parent knows, it is often easier to do something yourself than have a child do it. I am always telling them and her that they need to do these things themselves.

I think all of the household chores I listed, except family laundry, are average nanny responsibilities. About 50% of families/nannies I know do household laundry, but they pay extra.

The only thing that can let you be taken advantage of is, ultimately, you! You need to be comfortable negotiating and insisting upon a written and specific Job Description during hiring. Then you need to be comfortable bringing it up if the parents are asking you to do more than listed without paying you more. I would do the same in reverse with my nanny. If she stopped doing expected duties, started arriving late, etc, I would address it sooner than later. I would set aside time to sit down and review the contract and see why it was happening, and then see if we could work together to solve the problem. You MUST be comfortable communicating and standing up for yourself, while also remaining somewhat flexible as needs do change on both sides. If my nanny now told me she didn't want to do family laundry, I'd be glad to renegotiate and get rid of this duty, for example.

Truth Seeker said...

@meganrose: I think it is great that you use some of your downtime to squeeze in a short nap. Doing this is not just good for you, but it is best for the children as well since it overall makes you a much better nanny. I believe that if a nanny is working a long shift and her charge(s) are at the age where they take regular naps, then the nanny is entitled to nap as well. As long as she is either right beside the child or directly next to the baby monitor, a good nap is very beneficial. Parents are always told in order to be good parents, they should take full advantage of rest periods and sleep when the child sleeps. It irks me to death when some families give their nannies 8-10 hr days..sometimes longer..then instruct her to use nap time for housework. I think it is best to use this time to rest up so when the children are awake, nanny is well-rested and ready to conquer anything!

Typically, a nanny is only responsible for any child-related duties in general. Perhaps washing any dishes the child and nanny have used should always be washed or loaded in the dishwasher before the nanny leaves. Same goes for bottles if caring for an infant. Diaper/wipes should be restocked if necessary and toys should always be picked up before parents come home. If there are any crumbs on the counter, table, and/or floors, the nanny should wipe/mop/sweep them up promptly. If there are any pets, it is wise to make sure the pets have adequate water and are let out if needed. Other than that, the nanny is not responsible for housework in general. If extra pay is offered as in nycmom's case, then laundry can be done as well as grocery runs and the like. But NEVER should a family hire a nanny and just assume the nanny will do housework during nap times. I have run into this with many families so now when I interview with prospective families, I let them know right off the back that I am a nanny only. I do not do housework and if they require housework, it would probably serve in their best interest to hire a maid.

STLNanny said...

My charge is 5 so he know longer naps, but when he did, I would do my online classwork as I do not have any set chores. I pretty much just put the clean dishes away and load the dishwasher. There are two school age children who are responsible for putting their own dirty clothes away and loading their own dishes into the dishwasher. That left my afternoons empty, so instead of just watching tv during my charge's 2 1/2 to 3 hour nap, I would get all my school work done so that I'd have my evenings free. I graduated literally a month before he gave up his naps.

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

I take care of kids laundry, make and serve kids meals (or bottles) load/unload the dishwasher as needed, taking out the kitchen trash if I have filled it during the day, letting the pet(s) out and checking their food/water, and clean up our messes as we go along.

I do make up the kids beds (with help as appropriate) and keep their rooms tidy. I am big on kids pitching in ASAP, and we do spend time learning how to tidy up, make beds, and help with laundry once they are old enough!

I also am happy to go to the grocery store or other light shopping for the kid(s), and I try to keep on top of the clothing in their closets by sorting through for outgrown items whenever I have time.

I do NOT vacuum (unless it's my mess), mop (same), dust, scrub bathrooms, or do windows.

In a nutshell, if it relates to the kids or the rooms we use during the day, I take care of it or have the kids help me take care of it. I also strive to leave the house as it was or a little neater than I found it.

Ms.Nanny said...

The understanding I have with my employers, who are really wonderful to me, is that durring nap time (which lasts about 3 hours) I keep the kitchen clean, including taking out the trash, loading and starting the dishwasher (they are very good about not leaving me with a pile of dishes from the night before or even their breakfast dishes, so it is mostly just snack and lunch clean up), wiping down counters and walls (which can get awfully sticky with a busy 19 month old :) ) sweeping and picking up toys in the kitchen area and in the playroom. This takes me maybe 45 minutes, sometimes as much as an hour. After that I enjoy some downtime, eating my lunch, watching a TV show, catching up on my e-mails. When the dishwasher is done I unload it. For the last hour I do my school work. If I have extra time I fold the laundry, but that is not an expectation that they have. I also make sure the kitchen is clean before they come home from work after our afternoon fun. The 19 month old is learning do put things away as I am cleaning the 10-15 minutes before the parents come home. I think it is healthy for children to see their caregivers doing chores around the house.

I believe that this routine works for our employer/employe dynamic and allows them to maximize the time they have at home with their family after work.

I think that taking advantage of a nanny would be constantly sending them on errands for the parents (I run to the pharmacy and pick up light groceries if my employers are in a pinch, I think that is fine) having them scrub bathrooms or expecting them to vacuum everyday or do other deep cleaning chores.

lexeael13 said...

The kidos i take care of are past the naptime (4 yearold twins) they do a half hour rest time where they lay on nap mats and color or read quietly. I normally write in the daily log for their parents during this time but in addition to taking care of the kids i do the kid's laundry twice a week, make meals, organizing closets, clean up our messes involving vacuuming, cleaning dishes, toys, etc I do pick up grocery items from time to time and i buy workbooks and other educational tools as I am teaching them preschool at home. I'm busy most of the time but thats how i like it :)

Holly said...

I think being a nanny is a great job if you are a college student such as I am. It's one of the few jobs where you get some down time to do your homework. I usually wash up whatever dishes I used, pick up the play areas and then eat my lunch in peace. After that, I just do my homework, catch up on my e-mails/telephone calls and rest up until my charge wakes up. I am strongly opposed to doing housework during downtime as I see it as opening Pandora's box. Meaning? What starts as "Oh...can you please fold and put Johnny's clothes away during nap time?" becomes, "Can you organize Johnny's closet?" in a month and the next month, "Would you mind sanitizing Johnny's bathroom for me? I just don't want him to get sick..then you won't be able to work and thus earn any monies..."

Every job I have had, I agreed to do only "light housekeeping" for my families which day by day turned into much heavier duty housework. Now I just prefer to tell families from the get go that I only care for the child and do not clean anything, aside from whatever mess I or the child make that particular day.

If your family is asking you to vacuum, mop, do family laundry/cooking/shopping plus walk the dog, then I believe you are being taken advantage of. Basically any mess that was made prior to your arrival is their mess to clean up.

NervousNanny said...

My charges nap twice. Once in the morning, and once later in the afternoon.
In the morning, I usually clean up after our breakfast, and do some preparation for lunch. If anything needs to be baked for lunch (like chicken or fish) I try to bake it at this time and then just heat it through at lunch. I also clean up a bit after our play.
Usually, I have a snack and try to rest for a bit as well.

During the afternoon, I clean up the lunch mess, and also clean more thoroughly in our play area, as the mom usually comes home while the kids are still asleep. Then I simply relax, and usually do homework as I have night classes.

I don't have laundry on my list of things to do, but I do sometimes put away clean clothes when they are folded. This is usually while they are awake though.

nycnanny said...

I don't believe that nannies should be doing any house work other than light stuff for the kids like meal prep,preparing bottles, cleaning bottles, possibly their laundry and picking up after themselves during the day. Other than that, I don't feel any other housework is a nannies duty. I will not accept any position that asks me to do anything other that stuff for the child. I don't mind running an occasional errand if we are out of milk if we are out and about or taking the kids to a dr appt, etc but I would never do anything other than that and my bosses would never ask me. With that being said, during my much needed break, I rest. I eat. I breathe. I work 10 hour days and that hour and a half is needed for ME. Remember, nannies do not get to go out for lunch alone , out for a break or even able to use the restroom in peace sometimes( lol).

MissMannah said...

Every nanny job I had, the chores was identical to what Tales mentioned. Simple stuff and generally pertinent to the job.

I found it interesting that Holly said that doing chores can be like opening Pandora's Box. It doesn't have to be like that. If a parent asks me to fold Johnny's laundry and it isn't in the contract, the answer would be "Sure, if I get a chance to." If the parent was ballsy enough to ask me to organize Johnny's entire closet or sanitize his bathroom (I would never have either of these in a contract!), the answer would definitely be "No, I'm sorry, I don't think I can squeeze that into our busy day."

Nycmom already said it, and I'll reiterate: the only way someone can take advantage of you is if you let them!

Anonymous said...

When I was a nanny, I worked 3-11, mainly for doctors or nurses. After homework, play, dinner, baths, and bedtime stories, I would pick up, vacuum, and dust the living room, and deep clean the kitchen. I would wash all the dishes and leave the dishwasher empty, clean the counters, and mop the floor.

I charged $20 an hour, and had so many requests, I started an agency. Moms were so happy to come home to an 'adult' living room, (clean and no toys), and a sparkling kitchen, I had more work than I could handle. I hired six nannies, and spent more time supervising them than doing any actual nanny work. I dropped in on every nanny who worked for me, and anyone not following the program was fired immediately. It was as easy to find new help as it was to find new families.

Times were so much simpler then.

Truth Seeker said...

@nycnanny, I agree that for your 10 1/2 hours of work, you deserve some "me" time. I use some of that time to sip some tea and gaze out the window, catch up on phone calls and e-mails on my laptop, eat a quiet + peaceful lunch as well as freshen up my make-up and brush my teeth. Simple little stuff that is next to impossible while caring for an infant and a toddler. LOL. Some days I get longer breaks than others, but I always make time for myself any free time I can. Then when the children awake, I am ready to go and completely energized for part two of our day which may include a trip to Barnes and Noble for bubbles and stories or a visit to the local zoo to pet the goats. If I had to use their nap times doing laundry, putting away a dishwasher full of dishes and taking out the trash, I would be cranky and burned out. Nap time should be "me" time for nanny since nanny needs to have her batteries recharged in order to function efficiently. :)

MissMannah said...

To nycmom thank you for not backing down on this. Truth Seeker won't let this topic wind down for some reason and I am glad you support me on this.

She depicts herself as a great nanny, yet strangely she does not want to do any housework. Isn't a nanny a domestic employee? By being a domestic employee of the household it is assumed she will do domestic duties and I hate to bust her bubble, but laundry, vacuuming and errand running all fall under the category.

I am going to give you the silent treatment Truth Seeker. I am glad that MPP has already deleted many of your comments from this and other threads. Good.for.her. That makes three of us who think you should just keep your mouth quiet. Go on another site where all the nannies can brag about not having to mop floors or dust the bookcases. No one on here wants to hear it since you do not fairly represent the best of nannies.

ATL Nanny said...

My charge usually takes two good naps a day totaling about 4.5-5 hours of sleep. During that time I usually have about 20-60 minutes of work to do depending on the day. I always use that time to tidy up any toys in the living room and wash bottles. Once a week I do laundry (just for the baby -- 1 or 2 loads) and I use naptime to fold. And once or twice a week I make homemade baby food. I really enjoy making fresh baby food. I usually watch a movie/television on my laptop while I cook or fold laundry. I also use this time occasionally for computer-based activities that are work related (emailing to set up playdates, etc). I do not do any chores or cleaning aside from picking up after myself and the baby.

The other 4 hours or so are mine to do with as I please. I usually read, study (I'm working on my labor doula certification), play online, and occasionally talk on the phone or watch movies on my laptop.

My boss understands that this time is mine and does not expect me to find something useful to do just because I'm on the clock. We discussed this prior to my being hired and she understands that the reason I accepted the salary I did was because this job is "easy" and is for only one child who is young enough to take long naps. My salary is competitive for the area but I have made far more in the past when I had jobs without this much downtime.

Anonymous said...

I am the chick who posted these questions.I sent them ion knowing the answer but wanting assurance that I wasn't crazy to go home frustrated everyday. I gave been working for this family for about 3 months they have an adorable set of twins who nap twice daily. During my interview there was a red flag to me that they were a bit demanding but the pay was decent for the area and I had been looking for a few months for something I was interested in. In the interview they told me that " the current nannies wash and fold our (adult) laundry but it's not part of your job but of course is really appreciated." I figured that I would bring it up later and not add a negative tone to my interview.I of course was hired and when the other nanny trained me she informed me of some helpful tips. This is not my first rodeo with kids I consider myself talented with children of all ages and quite a catch when it comes to finding a nanny. Like many of you guys I work as a nanny because I love kids, like to watch them grow and find it fulfilling too teach them new things. It turns out for a ten hour day I barely have enough time to get all of the daily chores done. The parents were a bit sneaky when it came to informing me in the interview about the chores....they left out that they have the nannies wash all bottles,cups,bowls, spoons, by hand and it waiting in the sink for you.Monday mornings are a challenge. With twins that use Dr. Browns bottles. That is well over 200 pieces of bottles alone to hand wash . There is also daily cleaning of highchairs and the mats. Also making new bottles for the weekend and next day in advance. The children don't always sleep at the same time and if they do they are not aloud to sleep more than 3 hours. The job is under the Table and there isn't any contract so it is hard to approach without having the contract to refer to. I know I am doing more than what a normal nanny should be asked to do.and would love some advice on how to approach it! Thanks for all the great responses guys!

Marypoppin'pills said...


Unless Truth Seeker's comments were threatening or racist I have not deleted any of her posts.

I am against censoring people for the better of the Blog... that isn't fair.

I want everyone to feel as if they can freely express themselves and openly debating hot button issues is what keeps ISYN alive.

nycmom said...

OP, I'm a bit confused. Do you mean when you arrive on Monday morning, they have left all the kids' bottles and THEIR dishes in the sink from the entire weekend for you to handwash? That is unacceptable, but a common problem I know.

What chores have been added on that were not expected of you?

I honestly believe that if you nanny for infants/toddlers, then of course daily cleaning of bottles, the highchair, and the area under the highchair is pretty standard. Preparing bottles in advance is common too. Do they have a dishwasher? Why can't you throw the things in the dishwasher? I do sympathize on the Dr. Brown's! Those and Born Free have SO many parts!

Since the above are pretty normal, I assume it's the accumulation of other chores that is getting difficult. Can you outline what other chores you are doing? Caring for infant twins is a REALLY hard job, esp if you they are poor sleepers and/or the type to need a lot of stimulation (i.e. can't play alone in gymini or exersaucer ever).

Tell the parents honestly what your concerns are, and ask if they have any suggestions as to how you can work together to solve the problem. If a nanny I loved came to me and said a particular task or issue was being overwhelming, I would take her at her word and do my best to change things.

Miss Mannah - Thanks! Right back at ya!

Beth said...

While I take care of three children, only the youngest naps, while the older two take "rest" time in the afternoon. We read books with all three children and then they separate into their rooms. I usually have that time to sit and rest, check email, read a bit, and pick up stray toys. Most days, it's not a constant rest time for me, as I'm still fielding random questions and trying to get the baby to sleep, but it's the only "resting" time I have in my long workday!

MissMannah said...

To the MissMannah troll:

I don't know who the hell you think you are, but you better stop using my name.

People, that second reply was not me...again. Look closely and you'll see it is not in my writing style at all. Nor would I EVER suggest a person leave or give them the silent treatment. (not to mention silence is impossible on a blog)

NannyA said...

I do whatever I like while the child is napping! He takes 1 nap a day, for about 2 hours, and I use that time to have my lunch, rest, check social networking sites on my phone or laptop, or watch a dvd on my laptop. The family I work for are great about understanding that naptime is my only break in a 10.5 hour day, and don't expect me to do any household duties during the downtime.

The 'household' stuff I do is just related to the child, and is all stuff that I do while the child is awake - he likes to 'help'. I sweep the hardwood floors 3 times a week, wash his bottles/dishes daily (and deal with my own dishes), and do his laundry once a week. I also (by my own choice) generally load/unload the dishwasher as needed.

Reese said...

NannyA, that is exactly the stuff that I do while my charge(s) nap. I work long days as well and need the downtime to maintain my sanity. However when I mentioned in another post how I have a cup of tea, catch up on my phone calls, freshen up my make-up as well as use my laptop I got a bunch of criticism from the other bloggers such as nycmom, Miss Mannah, Tales from the Nanny Hood who all accused me of not being a competent nanny. They said because I didn't do housework during downtime and sipped tea while my charge(s) were napping meant that I was a lazy nanny. I don't see why us nannies do not deserve a break. I mean if we are caring for children and the children take a nap, what is wrong with watching a DVD or checking Facebook?? Nothing. Your family sounds great...mine are like yours..they don't expect me to do a laundry list of chores just because I get some free time during the day. I fell sorry for all those other nannies who have to work work work during nap time when it would be much more beneficial for everyone involved if the nanny got to use the time for herself.

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

Oy. Yes, here I am work work working during naptime. On-line.

I don't do the most time consuming of my chores (laundry folding and toy clean-up) when baby is awake, simply because he is too young to help. Once he can "help", he'll have the chance to pitch in, and he'll also be sleeping less at that point!

I am fairly sure I didn't call you incompetent, Reece. I may have said spoiled or lazy though, which was not very nice of me. But frankly, that's how you came off in your previous posts about refusing to do housework.

I am still curious as to where you work though - just the general area, not anything specific.

Also, what do you do if the parents laundry is in the washer or dryer when you are ready to do laundry? Do you simply refuse to do your charge's laundry, or do you take the initiative to remove the adult laundry from the dryer and leave it on their bed or in a basket?

nycmom said...

Reese/Truth Seeker,

I'm confused. I am genuinely not trying to "catch" you in anyway. I thought it was obvious from your first few posts that you were the same person posting under two monikers since you initially voiced the same opinions, same wording, same grammar, same use of w/you, w/them, w/childcare (a very unique way of writing with something), etc when posting under both names. When I was newish to this blog and after anon posts were forbidden, I would also use different monikers for different threads until I established my own firm one.

Then there were posts always a few minutes apart by both Truth Seeker and Reese: (including last night on this thread at 4/13 2:01am as Reese; on "Renegotiating Contracts" at 4/13 2:19am as TS; on "Difference Btw Nanny and a Babysitter" at 4/13 2:32a as TS; and on "Home Daycare" at 4/13 2:49as Reese. Previously on 4/12 starting from the top threads on "Two Questions" at 4/12 5:17am as Truth Seeker; on "Renegotiating Contracts" at 4/12 5:30am as TS; on "Difference..." at 4/12 5:41am as TS; on "A Day in the Life" at 4/12 5:45am as Reese.)

I thought you were doing this to keep consistency within a thread, not trying to take two identities, but on this thread it now seems as "Reese" you are saying you do housework (but not during naps), but as "Truth Seeker" you are saying you don't. I'm very confused. Are you the same person or not? Do you do chores outside of naptime or not?

ATL Nanny said...

I'm a nanny who absolutely refuses to do adult laundry. It is not in my job description and in fact I discuss during the interview process that it is not something that I do. I have absolutely zero desire to see my employer's undergarments and I refuse to be held responsible for knowing which of their clothes must be washed in cold water, hung dry, dry cleaned, etc.

If the parents leave their laundry in the machine, I just wait and do it another day. Or if I really need to do laundry, I will take it out and put it in an empty laundry basket in the laundry room. I will not fold anything from the dryer. And I will not put anything in the washer into the dryer.

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

ATL Nanny - I'm almost as "hands off" with adult stuff as you are, although if it's in the washer (and CLEAN - I am not messing with dirty adult laundry!) I do take it out and drop it in a basket then dump it back in the washer when I am done doing kid laundry. If it's in the dryer, same thing.

Basically, I am not willing to wait to do what I want/need to do, lol!

NannyE said...

I am also in the same type of situation. My charges are 6,4 and 2. The 6 year old is at school most of the day so I am usually just with the 4 and 2 year old. The 2 year old naps however the 4 year old doesn't. MB says he doesn't need to nap or rest anymore. I am asked to do family laundry (5 people) which includes MB and DB's underwear, wash all sheets and towels, cooking (to be expected) make all beds in the home, do all of the dishes, have dinner ready for the whole family and all dishes that were used to prepare dinner clean, errand running and other various things depending on the week. When I was hired I was told that the kids are the number one priority and no housework was to be expected but things have slowly changed. I leave feeling so frustrated and taken advantage of. MB even has the nerve to inquire about why the kids haven't been doing very many elaborate art projects lately. Because we don't have time. I have been a nanny for a while but just started working with this family recently. I adore the children but feel it is very unfair to be expected to do all of these things when I don't get a single moment to myself during my 10 hour work day. I have to make the 4 year old busy (not an easy task) while I'm attempting to do all of the chores. Some evenings I have to tell the kids that we can't go outside to play because I have too many things to do. I understand that some of these things are part of the job and I have no problem with that but I also understand that I shouldn't be sweating at the end of the day because I've been running around crazy trying to get these things done. I am nervous to say anything because I'm afraid that they will decide that they can find someone who won't say anything and fire me. I come home almost every night exhausted and frustrated. Help!

Reese said...

@NannyE: I feel for you. I think your situation is the perfect example of why you should not have to do chores along with childcare. It is a very delicate line between the two and many people don't know where to draw that line. I have seen "job creep" where you start by "just folding the baby's linens.." then the next month before you know it you find yourself ironing Dad's work pants. It never ceases to amaze me that parents burn out their nannies by insisting that since the nanny is in the home,she is to do some type of chores on a daily basis. If a mother truly loved and cared for her child, she would make the nanny's job as easy and enjoyable as possible so that her child would be cared for in an adequate manner. I personally would only require someone to keep my child clean, fed, entertained and educated. So many nannies get burned out and you truly sound like it.

NannyE, I am so sorry that you are going through this. This family is overworking you and they are trying to get two for the price of one. By having you do chores along with caring for the children, I see that it is taking its toll on you. You are a trooper for keeping up with this and I sympathize with you not being able to say anything for fear of being unemployed. I would just keep my head up if I was you and perhaps look for another job during your days off and as soon as you land one, quit this one. If you keep going like this, you will soon be running on empty which will only hurt the children in the long run sadly.

Reese said...

nycmom, if I were indeed a TruthSeeker, I would not deny it. Nor would I deny it if I were an ATL nanny, Beth, Nanny A or E. This is a blog and I can be Martha Stewart if I so desire. It creeps me out that while your nanny is downstairs feeding your children their lunch, you are upstairs on your laptop trying to "catch" another blogger and expose them. OOhhh...scandalous, I know....that you actually keep tabs on the times someone posted...uh..someone needs to get a hobby. Perhaps tennis?

Tales from the (Nanny)Hood said...

Nanny E, do you have a written contract that outlines your job duties? If so, get it out, and ask MB/Db to meet with you to discuss the fact that you are not giving their kids the care they deserve since you are swamped with housework.

If you don't have a contract, then ask to meet to create one, and emphasize how much you WANT to do with their kids, and how sad you are that housework is taking up all of your time.

Also, the 4 yo should be capable of 30 minutes to an hour of "quiet time" in his/her room, which would allow you a brief break. Suggest this to MB as a nap alternative!

OP, same advice for you - emphasize the benefits you can give the babies if you aren't ignoring their needs in order to do housework. I do think that bottles and such are something you should be doing, but if the parents simply dump weekend bottles in the sink I understand how frustrating that would get!

nycmom said...

Thought I posted this already, but I guess not ...


I thought I was quite clear that I was asking you directly because of my confusion. I did not make an accusation, I asked a question. I had initially assumed it was obvious you WERE the same person, thus my later confusion. I posted the times for you to understand why I was confused. Looking up a few times/dates is not particulary labor intensive.

In the past there were two sisters, both nannies, (remember Nanny Taxi - hope you are doing well! I still see WBN from time to time) who used the same computer and often posted at similar times. I am well aware that simply posting data does not mean someone is the same person - thus the question.

Regardless, I asked a direct question. You could have simply given a direct answer of "No." The personal attacks are unwarranted and inappropriate IMO.

Marypoppin'pills said...

nycmom said...

"Thought I posted this already, but I guess not ..."



I have the confirmation e-mail... you did post it already. I am not sure what is going on but there seems to be some kind of comment glitch.

All I can do is ask posters to double-check and make sure their comment appears.

Whenever someone leaves a comment, I get an e-mail. Looking back over the past 2 weeks I have noticed some that have showed up in my box but not on the Blog. I think that has led to the assumption that I have been deleting posts. As I have said before and want to make perfectly clear now: unless it is racist or threatening, it stands.

Please share your opinions in whatever way you like... even if I don't agree with them... they will NOT be deleted.

Just My Two Cents Just Now... said...

Oh that explains why some of my posts were not showing after I typed them out and clicked "Publish Your Comment." At first, I thought you had automatically had me blocked or something. I know...I know...I have issues. LOL.

Anyway, good to know.

christine said...

While a nanny is a "stand in" for mom while she works, it does not mean she is the "housewife' while mom is gone as well. NannyE- yikes! You are a personal slave to this family, especially the mom! Holy smokes! They could not possibly be paying you enough to do all of this work.

I'va always said that if I dropped dead tomorrow, my husband would go broke paying people to do what I do for my family... he'd have to hire a cook, housekeeper, bookkeeper, family mediator, not to mention a prostitute.

These a**holes should be ashamed of themselves!

ListeningMB said...

I'm a mom of triplets..hand have been blessed with a couple of great nannies...I keep a tight schedule and have routine tasks (daily, weekly, monthly) that I ask my nanny to do to help me care for and nurture my children while helping me manage my home so that I can better care for and nurture my children...perhaps I expect a lot out of them..but I have a question....I work 11 to 14 hour days and it would NEVER occur to me to nap on the job or complain that I have to work the entire time I'm there...with the exception of a lunch hour obviously. I must be missing something.