Wednesday

What do parents want to hear at the end of the day?

opinion
     I have to start off by saying I LOVE my current job very much... I work for a single Mom that is the most genuine and thoughtful person I have ever met!!! I take care of a 7 month old and the baby is challenging to say the least. The baby had extreme colic and still to this day cries most days for very long periods of time. The baby has a lot of trouble with sleep habits and I spend hours of my 10 hour day just trying to get the baby to sleep. My question for parents that read this site is, would you want to hear that your child has had a "hard" day? I am tired of telling the babies Mom that the baby had a "hard morning" or a "hard afternoon". She knows the baby is "difficult"... we have had many conversations about it. So I am wondering if you think I should spare her the "bad" report everyday and try to make light of it? I am sure one day soon the baby will grow out of the crying but I hate the look on the Moms face when I say he cried for two hours before he finally fell asleep! I know she loves me and she knows I do everything in my power to help and I do not feel like she thinks it is something I am doing wrong... But, HELP! Any advice would be much appreciated!!!

11 comments:

Nanny B said...

I understand what you mean. Do you have a log of how the babys day went? With that you can leave notes about how long it took you to put the baby down, how you did it, etc. Then when she comes home it is all written down and you can simply say "oh we had a typical day...." and at the end follow up with something positive, like the baby ate well or did something cute. Then she can read the notes for herself and ask questions the next day if she needs to. I used to have the same thing with a kid who had acid reflux. I got tired of telling the mom that the baby spit up again (because he did it after every meal), so I started a log, told the mom the positives and left it at that. Good Luck!

Village said...

Has the mother talked to the doctor about treating the colic? Colic is thought to be caused by gas trapped in the intestines of the baby. Can the doctor prescribe a type of probiotic that might help with digestion in the gut of the baby? This requires a doctor's visit. There are a lot of OTC treatments for colic, including soda water, but don't administer anything without a doctor's, and mom's, supervision. Get thee to a physician. There is no reason for this baby to suffer.

nycmom said...

I like Nanny B's suggestions. Two out of 3 of my kids were very difficult, high needs infants. They always wanted to be carried and in motion. I used a log with my nanny and we both kept track of eating, pooping, sleeping. Honestly, although I was very happy if my nannies were able to get dbs happy and sleeping, on the hope they could give me some secrets, I was also relieved to see that db's difficulties were generally not unique to any one person or time. Instead of constantly struggling to "solve" db's crying, I was much happier when I accepted that some kids just have difficult temperaments. So I would rather just hear the truth. I can read the details. I also would like to be reassured that you have a laid-back perspective and also recognize that db is challenging, but you can handle it.

another nanny said...

I would focus on positives. You don't need to make it seem like the crying has magically disappeared, but at this point it's par for the course, and you can treat it in a matter-of-fact way. But it would probably make mom feel good to hear about what made baby laugh or smile during the day, something new he did, or a time when he seemed to stop crying more quickly than usual.
As others have mentioned, a log is always good for infants. I include naps, feedings, diapers, as well as activities and special notes

sammy said...

use the "sandwich": say something positive, tell them the negative gently and in a supportive way, and then end with the positive.

STLnanny said...

In high school, I took a Child Daycare class, then I worked at a daycare and am now a nanny and the policy has always been the same in all three cases...

Start with a positive, give the negative, end with a positive. It's not always easy, I know, but worth a shot.

With my job as a nanny, I will let the parents know of any serious behavioral issues or of any injuries, but if it's something minor that I know I can handle and is not a repeated action, I tend not to bring it up with the parents.

Bostonnanny said...

I tend to change the wording around for instance my charge is almost two and turning into a cranky demon child lol. so when he has a very whiney day instead of saying he was crying and screaming over every little thing, I say he had an emotional day today. Then I follow that with a quick description of what fun he had on our outing or activity.
Then I put the details in the log.

Just My Two Cents Just Now said...

I like the idea of ending on a positive note. I always do this when I have to tell the parents something negative.
I like the idea of keeping a log. That way you do not have to verbalize everything on a daily basis.
Good luck OP.
You are a trooper.

bippityboppityboo said...

I dont think she needs to hear that it was a hard day everyday. Unless something is out of the ordinary thats really all she needs to hear. That and of course what kinds of fun things you and baby did that day. Good luck

OP said...

Thanks for the tips and advice everyone! As far as the baby crying I swear I have tried EVERYTHING and some days I find things that work and some days I don't... It just depends. The baby has been teething (two teeth in and two more almost in) so I am sure that does not help :/

I LOVE the "sandwich" idea!!! I feel like after 10 trying hours, I get too focused on the negative and forget to mention the good things! I just have to remember that the baby will grow out of a lot of what is going on soon enough... Thanks again all... I will do my best to focus on the good and not dwell on the negative :)

anon reader said...

Anonymous said...
Have tried using a baby sling? and wearing the baby while you play some lullaby music? that always seems to calm a baby. For naptime music I suggest Lullaby Magic-or white noise sleep/mate to get the baby into the zone. Also getting mom's pillow case that she slept on and letting baby use it as a security item- being able to smell mom's scent usually calms a baby too. All this worked really well for me.
Good luck!

Mar 13, 2011 9:11:00 PM

repost for anonymous