Persecuting the Nanny

Received Saturday, January 15, 2011
rant You know what pisses me off? Parents or people who go around policing nannies on their jobs. It instantly becomes a federal case when and if a child cries when he or she is with their nanny. God forbid if you speak to a child firmly, all of a sudden they view it as verbally agressive with the kid. I wish these people would mind their darn business and let a nanny do her job. Lets not get what i'm saying mistaken, by all means if you see a child being abused physically by any care giving one should not refrain from stepping in but for the most part many of these parents just have it in for nannies, they have nothing better to do SO they walk around the parks, streets and kids club seeking out nannies to persecute! I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!!!!! That's why many of their kids disrespects and treats them like S__T in public because they dont know how to discipline their children. Leave the nannies alone!!!!!
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Joy said...

I don't know about this. I don't think others should get involved if a caregiver is appropriately disciplining a child, but if that nanny is belittling or severely reprimanding a child for a minor offense I think it's other peoples responsibility to report that to the parents in whatever way possible.


Welcome to America! Children here are so spoiled,weak and disrespectful they don't know how good they have it! If there was ever a war or something happened where money was useless and you had to use your skills to make it theses kids would never make it. They expect mommy and daddy to buy them a place in this world!

Texas Nanny said...

I used to attend a nanny play group with my charges every once in a while. One day, the group was at the park, and one little girl (about 4 years old) was shoving other children. Her nanny saw and immediately put her into a short time-out. The girl started crying over getting in trouble, of course.

A minute later, a nearby parent who saw the whole thing walked over to the little girl and was asking if she was okay. Sir, you saw her shoving kids. You heard her nanny assign her time-out. Other than being a brat, she is fine, and her nanny is doing a great job.

This same guy butted in again later when another kid was reprimanded for refusing to eat her veggies at lunch with us. It was ridiculous. None of this was any of his business and none of us grabbed or physically threatened either of the kids in any way. Parents, you don't have any more say in how our charges get disciplined than we do over any random kid of yours on the street.

a mom said...

I have to agree with you. I mean, the original purpose of this site was for people to report bad nanny sightings, hence the name. I thought it was originally here for parents to 'check up' on their nannies but it seems like more nannies come here than parents (probably nannies who are worried that something they do will be construed as bad and they'll be posted about on here). If I were a nanny and knew about this site, this would be a legitimate worry of mine. I don't know why they don't change the name at this point because most of the posts are from nannies comparing job notes with other nannies. I think a 'one time' sighting isn't always a good picture of things....but there have been a few nannies that I have seen on weekly or regular basis in a park or class - and I wouldn't want them watching my kids

Nanny Sarah said...

I agree that working with stay-at-home parents is hell. Esp. those that don't work from home, usually spoiled mothers who have husbands who are rich and they just stay home and don't want to take care of their kids themselves. Instead they go to the gym, get their nails done and lunch with their friends. UGH!!
Anyway, I think it is very difficult to assess a nanny/child situation in only one sighting. People these days are so quick to judge and always jump to conclusions. What ever happened to innocent until proven guilty?! Unless you see a child being physically struck in a harsh manner then by all means stay out of it!!

non-anon said...

Re-post for Anonymous:
I agree!! A mom approached me the other day because my charge was throwing a fit over what cake mix to buy. I scooped her up deposited her in the cart and told her sternly "you have lost baking privileges today, and when your mom asks why you didnt make anything I'll tell her about this tantrum". She is going through a bossy tantrum stage and her mom adds a punishment if she finds out her child got in trouble for attitude. So if I take away baking her mom will also take away tv that night as well. So when I told the child her mom would be involved she started whimpering and begging me not to tell her. Then this mom walks up to me and goes "you shouldn't try to purposefully terrify a child. This is why mothers should be with their kids, they are the only ones who know how to love them". Meanwhile two of her little darlings are grabbing everything they can and dumping it in the cart while a third has ripped open a box of cookies and is stuffing them in his mouth. I was like WTF?
So, wait...the child was, from the lady's perspective, "terrified" of the mother, yet her mother is obviously the only one who "knows how to love" her?!

Northern Nanny said...

I actually have to disagree. I am a nanny, and never once have i been approached by anyone for 'unfairly treating a child' true or not. Not that I think every time someone butts into a situation it's warranted, but from my experience you can be an effective disciplinarian, and a respected caregiver at the same time. I have had to give time outs, and even walk out of stores because the child's behavior was inappropriate, and discipline was needed, but I have only ever been met with understanding or support. I also work for a stay at home mom, despite what some may be like, my boss is wonderful, and respectful of me and my role in their home. I know that there can be some 'crazies' out there who are simply out to get whoever is near by, but in my opinion most of the time trouble doesn't find someone who wasn't seeking it.

NVMom-movedtoTX said...

Northern Nanny, you are exactly right. I'm tired of the sterotypical whining about lazy 'stay at home Moms'. I had nannies when my twins were newborn to 5, and we worked together for the kids. If I did take break, it was remembered that my day didn't stop when the nanny went home, so a chance to get a break was a way to refresh and stay on top of things. I didn't take a break every day either. The point is, for those of you who don't want to be too quickly judged, don't do it to others.

As far as what non-anon said, maybe there is a grain of truth in what the stranger said. You and the MB are so convinced you're going about it the right way, but I have to wonder about punishing a child for a tantrum. When kids tantrum at that age, they developmentally lack the skills to always control their emotions and communicate the right way. It takes more maturity and intelligence to thwart them, rather using than threats and time-outs. So yeah, some people might actually see it the way that person did. I certainly do.

Oh and by the way, I've been on the wrong end of such a situation. My daughter with special needs was having an upset when she was younger, and a man thought I was 'doing something' to her. I simply told him he was wrong and why but I certainly didn't whine about on a message board.

I haven't really ever said anything to other people about their kids, it would have to be a bad situation, but if people choose to exhibit their bad behavior in public, that's the chance they raise. If I'm wrong, quit being so sensitive and just say so. Are we really so weak-minded we're bugged because someone might actually say something about our skills? It's when people stop caring about children that maybe we should all worry.

alex said...

Oh I agree!! I mean some parents are great such as the people I nanny for when I am disciplining the child, if they butt in it will only be something like, "You do not yell at her" or "you need to listen to what she says." Stuff like that. BUT I can totally understand how horrible it would be if a nanny is trying to do her job and the parent comes in and gives into what the nanny said no to. If the parents come in when I am in the middle of discipline I always tell them what I said no to or what the punishment was and they follow through.

Cutenanny;) said...

They're so spoiled and they need to be disciplined. I'm a nanny and I know my limitations and I never ever hurt a kid. But some parents just makes it hard for me to do my job because of them spoiling their kids URG!

Hippiechick24 said...

All I can say is right on!