Received Saturday, January 22, 2011
I am writing to the readers of ISYN to ask a question and get some opinions.
I want to know how all of you fellow nannies deal with overbearing Grandparents. I am a nanny for a 17 month old boy, and have been his nanny for almost a year. Throughout this time, my charge and I have cultivated a very strong bond. My charges Grandmother comes to visit once a year for almost 6-7 months at a time. My problem is that I feel like his Grandma undermines me. I will give a few examples, and I would love it if you would give me some advice on dealing with this.
We have just started potty-training, which some of you know, is quite a daunting task. The method the parents and I have chosen is a pretty simple one. We have him sit on the potty when he wakes up in the morning, after breakfast, before his nap, after his nap, after lunch, before and after bath, and before bedtime. He knows to sit on the potty until he goes, whether it is poop or pee. During this time we’ll read a book or play a game or just talk. It is a method that works for us, however, Grandma (I will call her Beth) thinks this method is useless. She constantly tries different things which bother all of us. The parents of my charge have said something, but it hasn’t made any difference.
She also likes to tease my charge. Whenever my charge is playing with a toy, she will come and take it. As if she is trying to pry him away from playing with me. She is constantly locking him in her room with her. I always go get him, especially when my charge starts screaming and crying to come out of her room. She has a problem with changing his diapers. We are constantly checking/changing his diapers to prevent diaper rashes. I have hear stories from my charges parents about Beth letting the baby go hours at a time in the same dirty diaper. Once again the parents have said something, but little has changed.
It has gotten to the point where Beth is constantly threatening to leave because she feels as though we are always criticizing her. Which at times we do, but when it concerns the health and safety of a child, I think it is important. I would really like to know how all of you deal with this. Or if any of you have to/have had to deal with it.