Saturday, October 17, 2009
.... WHAT?!

Feature Ad:
1) Seeking full-time live-in nanny (Indiana)
My husband and I have a (biracial) newborn baby and also work from home. We love being hands-on parents with our baby boy (born Aug. 13) and hope to find a full-time live-in nanny so we can actually get work done during the day. We're looking for a nanny with open availability 7 days a week, every day. We will pay extra for light housekeeping. When we say 24/7availability, this doesn't mean you'll be working the whole time (we encourage you to still have a personal life), we prefer someone who can be flexible with our schedules instead of the other way around.

We're VERY involved with our boy and aren't lazy nor are we superficial and seek the same. We expect nanny to clean after self and baby (we'll pay extra if you clean after us parents). We live in a beautiful and safe neighborhood (Windsor Private) near the Oliver Winery in a gorgeous home. A little bit about us: we're vegetarian (mostly), spiritual but not religious, open-minded, 420 friendly (but not with baby), and enjoy learning about multiple cultures.

Female or Male or TG/TS over the age of 21
Must have at least 3 years with newborn experience
Must be willing to eat vegetarian
Must have 3 references (at least 2 related to childcare)
Must be ok with cat
Non-cigarette smoker

Qualities we look for in nanny:
Adaptable to new environments
Able to do things through self-discovery without constantly asking how do to it (example: tv remote)
Able to keep religion to themselves and away from our child (this is very important to me)

We're super easy to get along with and hope to find someone who would like to join our little family. We sometimes like to travel (as husband/wife) and would like someone who can manage the house and baby while we're gone. And likewise, there may be times we want to bring nanny and baby along too. It's been forever since we've had time to go on a date. Nanny will have his/her own room near the nursery.

$300 a week (if nanny is in college/has work or other schedule obligations)
$400 a week (if nanny has no other schedule conflicts and is available 24/7)
$500 a week + surprise bonuses (if nanny is available 24/7 and provides basic housekeeping)

We look forward to hearing from you and will answer any questions you may have! Namaste.
Original URL:
Special thanks to hijabiniqaabi for our Feature Ad! Also, thank you to vshirey317, afnt81, JLow2474, Utah Nanny and mbargielski... all of you found really awesome Ads! Remember, CL-WTF will be Posted every Saturday. Please send next weeks Ads HERE or use MEEBO.



MissMannah said...

I know a lot of people would think #1 is a little weird, but I love it! If I was willing to be a live-in and move to Indiana, I would jump on this one. I'm a little bit of an open-minded hippie, so I know I would get along with these people.

nc said...

12- I would hope she would want a living nanny, lol.

14 & 15,
They both had problems with their previous babysitters, not changing diapers, and not interacting with the kid, yet they fail to grasp the concept 'you get what you pay for'.

East Bay Nanny said...

NC - yes, I always wonder what type of caregiver these people expect to get when they're paying less than minimum wage? Especially the $3/hr ones.

Maybe they're hoping for a really good, really desperate nanny who's completely ignorant of local rates.

MinuteMuggle said...

Gosh: number 1!! I can see why it's the wtf of the week!

lol so 500 bucks if you have no life.
nice! :)

and you can tell they smoke weed: that is what "non CIGARETTE smoker" is code for. Just my opinion, but I would never work for a family who had drugs in their home. I think parents who still are smoking weed are irresponsible and immature.

I guess you have to be on drugs to expect a quality nanny to have no outside personal commitments or life.

MinuteMuggle said...

p.s. yes, OP #1: keep those baaaad baaad religious people away from your child! how open minded of you!

go smoke up, you losers.

(yes I'm having a bad day) lol

dawlface said...

@Minute Muggle
they also said they were 420 friendly LOL

nyc mom said...

I know I will regret asking because I'm sure there is another simple answer, but in #1:

"Female or Male or TG/TS over the age of 21"

Does TG/TS refer to transgender/transsexual? I know that's what I use the abbreviation for in my profession, but wondering if it has another common usage I am missing.

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

nyc mom
Nope... that is what it means. You are correct.

Village said...

Village said...

I can't get past #1. Is it really a good idea to advertise that you break the law and have an illegal substance in your house? You know, the police read Craig's List. This is enough information to get a judge to issue a search warrant.
Oct 17, 2009 1:19:00 PM

Christine said...

Christine said...

I like #12, they want a living nanny. As opposed to a dead nanny?
Oct 17, 2009 5:08:00 PM

MissMannah said...

NYC mom: yes, that is what they're referring to.

MM, they specifically said they want the nanny to still have a personal life, but would prefer one who could work with their schedule. You're exaggerating. And I think they specifically put the weed references in there so whoever applied would know what they're getting into. On top of all that, if they don't want a religious influence, which I can completely agree with, it is their prerogative.

I think #1 is just a matter of personal taste. It isn't everybody's taste, but I don't think that necessarily warrants a WTF?

However, #4 would make me want to run, run far away. Isn't it illegal to require an HIV test for employment? And maybe this is just a pet peeve of mine, but people need to quit asking for AU PAIRS on craigslist. Do these people even know what an Au Pair is?

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

#1 is not the norm... trust me, it warrants the WTF status.

MinuteMuggle said...


I missed that part! haha! not so much of a "code" after all.

And miss mannah,

sorry but it will never be "normal" in my book to have childcaregivers, including parents, high while caring for their kids. I think it kind of sucks. If mixing drugs and childcare is to "your taste" god help you.

Village said...

This is a little off topic, but I have cousins who pass joints over their kids' heads at breakfast! I'm not kidding. That was my last visit.

I'm not a prude, but getting altered around kids isn't fair to the children.

MinuteMuggle said...

agreed, village. And advertising that you do on the internet is not just wtf it's stupid too. these parents who posted this ad have a major screw loose if you ask me.

xfileluv said...

One thing I noticed this week is an increase in the number of responses chiding parents. I'm glad that some people point out the ridiculousness of pay or posting for a complete stranger to come and watch your kids. Maybe every once in a while it actually makes the OP stop and think. (Or so we can hope.)

MissMannah said...

To each her own.

I am fairly certain these parents in question think it is ok to be high while caring for their children. I never once said that it is ok to do anything of the sort while on duty. Please don't twist my words around, the last thing I need is internet rumors going around that Nanny Mannah condones toking on the job.

MissMannah said...

Argh! I meant the parents in question don't think it's ok. I hate making really obvious typos like that!

Lola said...

I think it is illegal to trade food stamps for services. Maybe I'm wrong though, but I know you at least cannot trade them for alcohol, tobacco, or firearms! I guess childcare doesn't fall into those categories....

rather not say said...

I know this is not really the point of #1, but the "keep your religion to yourself" thing bothered me, following their statement about how much they love to explore other, really?
Also, I kind of rolled my eyes about their (biracial) baby, because it seemed designed not so much to ward off racist nannies as to drive home how non-conventional and "open-minded" they are.

The funny thing is, I actually share a lot of their characteristics.

jbird said...

I'm worried about some of the parents who post low wage requests on CL, I think they may legitimately not know what the current wage in their area is. I didn't, had to ask my playgroup friends. I remember getting $5/hour and liking it. I have an (older) friend who remembers being paid $1 and hour when she was a teen.
I think in some cases the tone of the angry CL reader replies might be too harsh for the parent who didn't know that their wage was low.
I would be so embarassed if someone posted that to me.

ChiNanny said...

The keep your religion to yourself thing sounded odd to me at first in #1, until I thought for a second that it is basically the same thing I talked to my employers about in my interview. I am of a different faith than my employers, who are not really religious people at all. They wanted to make sure that while they respected my beliefs, I wasn't going to be teaching their children things they did not want them taught. That seems completely reasonable to me. Now as the children are getting older and have questions of a religious nature (where do you go when you die) I discuss with the parents the answer they want given. I think the religion request is completely reasonable.

Having pot in the house, however...I'd stay far away from that job.

failed the bar said...

I am quite sure you are not allowed to transfer/trade food stamps to others, as the whole point is so that very needy families will not go hungry (obv. it doesn't always work that way).
Also, in general, requiring HIV neg. status for employment is also illegal, as long as the person is healthy enough to perform the job. However, I don't know if it's different with nannies because generally it is also illegal to discriminate based on sex/gender, but that goes on a lot in the nanny field.

MinuteMuggle said...

no you cannot trade food stamps for anything.

and the religion comment bothered me too because of the way it was worded: it sounded distinctly disdainful towards religion. If you want someone to be respectful to your faith/lack thereof, then you should be respectful to theirs, in my opinion.

and miss mannah,

you clearly condone what these parents do (smoking weed)by saying "to each his own."

I don't doubt that you do not "toke on the job" but saying that might work for people like this, that they are "similar to you" is pretty much condoning being high around kids. I don't think anyone twisted your words, not that I saw anyway.

Orange Snakeskin said...

I had less of a problem with the WTF ads and more of a problem with the poorly written and rude replies. Only one person had a kind well written informative response. (I am not referring to the comments left on the post but the replies within the post.)

#16 - What is so bad about $10 an hour under the table for an occasional evening job? Most of the "work" is done in the first few hours depending on the time you get there, the rest of the time spent reading, doing homework or watching tv is paid down time.

Food stamps - What if the food stamps were to purchase food for the children of the parents who provided the food stamps. I don't see any problem there.

#1 - At least their ad is clear. Wouldn't you be pretty angry if you got all the way to the face to face interview before mentioned the cloud of pot smoke that may or may not come rolling out of the front door upon entry? And I completely agree with their stance on religion. I would want it kept away from my kids as well. It's all about respect for ones views or lack there of.

MinuteMuggle said...

Orange Snakeskin:

firstly, there is ALWAYS a problem with paying someone under the table. it is ILLEGAL.

secondly: I don't know what you mean about the food stamps, but food stamps, wic and any kind of state aid can only be used for the person/people that have been approved for them. they cannot be traded around like baseball cards.

as far as number one goes: yes you're right: it is great that they publicly advertised that they are drug users: hopefully they will get DHS called on them because they are unfit parents for having drugs in the home, using them around their kids, and encouraging perspective employers to be drug- friendly.

As far as your stance on religion, yes we should all be respectful to others religions/lack thereof but there is something in the world called "tact." Saying "keep your religion away from my children" is very disdainful. If it were me, I would have put in the ad, "we are agnostic and want a nanny who will respect these beliefs around our children."

Frankly, it sounds like these people could use some religion in their lives, then maybe they would understand that they are hurting their children with illegal drugs in the home and running the risk of having their kids taken away from them. On second thought, perhaps that may be the best thing for the kids. A nice Catholic family who are not skeevy pot heads.

ct nanny said...

Minute Muggle, ha you crack me up. For me, it's not that #1 doesn't want someone to teach religion to their child (I totally get that), it's that they seem actually intolerant of religion. I never share my beliefs with the kids I babysit, but I do wear a discrete religious icon (in the form of a necklace) on a daily basis. When they ask me about it, I give a very general/non-religious answer, and I don't believe the kids have been been "influenced" in any way.

They didn't say they keep drugs in the house. But because they feel the need to mention it, I can only assume that it will somehow impact the nanny- e.g. they might come home high some evenings, have paraphernalia around the house, offer a dime bag as "surprise bonus" for mopping the floor...

MinuteMuggle said...

I really wish the parents who originally posted number 1 would read these responses and comment. I would love to hear what they have to say. :)

world's best nanny said...

Food Stamps or EBT as it called in my state consists of having a card, very much like a debit card, and the state refills the card once a month with the allotted amount of food stamps you qualify for.

This was supposed to stop people from selling their food stamps. I've have been in line at a grocery store and have seen that EBT card being used by it's owner, then passed to the grandmother, then passed on to a friend. So people are still getting away with it.

Unpopular as this may be I think certain amounts a weed should be legal to own. I have never seen anyone's world fall apart by pot use, but whole families are affected by alcoholism, and booze is legal!! As long as you are not distributing it and you are not using it in front of children, I have no issues with it.

I don't want to hear how pot is an "introductory" drug. I have known some people who smoke it and have smoked it for 25 years never leading to another drug.

Other than that I am having a hard time commenting on these posts week after week. It just proves to me more often than not that the world is a scary place, especially for kids.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe they said 420 friendly...idiots...

What was wrong with 11?

Can they really demand an HIV test?

ISYN-I wish you would go back to a pop up window for comments so I can be looking at the post while commenting bc I always forget!

Orange Snakeskin said...


Really? You feel that strongly about someone not claiming $60 on their taxes? Take a deep breath, the world will not end I promise.

MinuteMuggle said...


Yes, people do still lend each other their EBT cards and it's not fair. It is too bad, for those hard working single parents who really need that money for a helping hand. Some people are on welfare forever, abuse it, and it is not fair.

Regarding the whole pot/vs. alcohol debate: first of all, your opinion is far from unpopular. I have heard this argument from so many people over the years that it is tiresome.
I'm glad you have never seen someone's world fall apart over pot use, but I have. It's not a pretty site. I don't really want to get heavily into this debate as it is redundant, but I don't believe you should be high taking care of children, that is my main point. The fact that alcohol may or may not be more addictive/harmful than pot is a moot point: it is illegal unless you have a prescription for it.

Yes, a lot of people smoke pot. But I think there is a time to grow up and put some things aside. To me, this includes getting raving drunk. Yes, that is just as bad.

Just my opinion.

Orange Snakeskin:

every state has their own tax laws. If you make below the amount you must claim, then of course, don't claim it. I was speaking of people who make a regular income from childcare. I don't believe in parents paying nannies under the table, either part-time or full-time. An occasional babysitting job for a high school kid is quite different.

MinuteMuggle said...


I still have a pop-up window. that has to do with your computer, not the site.

just my opinion said...

Minute Muggle,
Your Oct 18, 2009 12:20:00 PM post? Best. Comment. Ever. Sadly, I had to laugh my ass off at your point-blankness (is that even a word?) lol.. anyway, loved it!

To Yaya,
I can see the OP also. It must be the program you are using.

And personally, I find the whole trading off food stamp thing atrocious! I hope someone from the DSS sees that Ad and this woman is severely reprimanded.

And where is the ever present, quick-witted Curious Dad as of late? Come back, some of us ladies miss you!

ChiNanny said...

I think the food stamps ad was trying to be nice, not get free food stamps. She says she'll take food stamps as partial payment to feed your children. I'm thinking she figures since food is usually included in the daycare price, she'll accept food stamps for that part of it.

I know it's still illegal, but I think she was trying to be flexible, not skirt the law.

MinuteMuggle said...

i say she was skirting the law.

helaine said...

They can and should demand an HIV test. I wouldn't want a nanny with the HIV. I pay for the test. I make it clear as a pre-employment condition. Nannies have the opportunity to say, "No". But they don't get to proceed further with our family.

And in this climate, an employer can demand pretty much anything. Nannies are lucky to be getting hired.

! said...

about #1- I have some extended family who smoke pot once in awhile. This does not mean that they would ever, EVER do it around their children, or that they are ever high around their kids. That's a ridiculous assumption. Some people prefer to smoke pot occasionally instead of having a couple beers. In no way does this make them "unfit parents".

MinuteMuggle said...


does too. they should grow up and stop doing illegal drugs. a parent who smokes weed undoubtedly has at the very least pipes and things around the home. it sets a horrible example for your children.

Orange Snakeskin said...


Who do you think you are? What gives you the right to call anyone an unfit parent?

MakeUpAddictMissDee said...

Helaine: I think I remember you...You are the one who wrote that ridiculous interview process and job description, demanding your nannies wear uniforms, etc. That's fine if you want your nanny to have an HIV test. However, do be mindful of your snotty stuck up attitude with potential nannies....

Seriously, number one sounds like they sat in a cloud of purple haze when they wrote their ad. Who would want to mention that they smoke weed to a potential nanny? If they keep this up, their child will be in preschool with a blunt.

The rest of the ads remind me why I staopped advertising on CL to babysit.

Um, yeah said...

In my state, we voted to make medicinal marijuana legal. The DA in my county has said that it he will not prosecute cases where there are fewer than 100 plants and a small quantity (that I cannot remember this early in the morning) for personal use. Just yesterday, the federal government announced that it would not go after users of medicinal marijuana or those who supply them.

My point is that many people use marijuana as a recognized medication. There are a lot of applications, including chronic pain. If your argument is that "it's illegal," and governments at all levels are taking that illegality away, are you going to change your opinion? I've seen way more lives destroyed by pills than I have marijuana.

I know many people who do use marijuana to treat their ailments and who also have children. Most of the time, the children don't know about it any more than they would if their parents took any other medication. I find your opinion to be extremely closed minded.

I'm also calling extreme BS on your stance that equates "to each his own" with condoning something. Just because she doesn't refuse to take an absolute stance against something DOES NOT mean that she approves of it. That's ridiculous and serves to make you look even sillier than usual.

MinuteMuggle said...

um yeah:

I was not speaking of medically prescribed pot. I was speaking of having it illegally. If it is legal in your state, smoke up Johnny. It ain't legal in mine, unless you are ill and have a prescription for it. So you can save your left-over cannabis reform coalition speech for someone else, or put it back in your college foot locker, because it is not needed.

I don't really care if you think I'm silly. I think you're a multi-moniker troll.

Enjoy your "medicinal" pot, pothead.

mutli-personality-not-moniker said...

Heeheehee. Uh-hum, sorry. Heeheehee. I love MM.

Um, Yeah said...


I don't smoke. Medicinally or otherwise. Do you teach your children to resort to name calling when they come across people with whom they disagree? At least they would actually have the excuse of being children when acting like children.

You are most definitely entitled to your opinion, as is every one else on this board. Clearly this is something you feel strongly about - I do as well. The thing that bothered me most about your earlier writing was when you insisted that Miss Mannah condoned pot smoking, even when she said she didn't. I have a huge problem with people who employ the argument that if you're not against something, then you're definitely for it. That's the kind of ridiculous logic employed (for example) by anti-abortion fanatics, who don't understand the concept of pro choice - that people who believe that others are capable of making their own choices on highly personal issues actually do exist.

Nowhere (in the original CL ad or here on the board) did anyone suggest that it was OK to care for children while under the influence. You (and others) made that assumption. People who choose to smoke pot don't usually do so 24 hours a day - any more than someone who enjoys wine drinks it every waking moment.

Like I said, I do not smoke pot - so if you're a big enough person, you can apologize for calling me a pothead. I HAVE, however witnessed its benefits for those who would have otherwise suffered without it; namely my father when he was dying of cancer. Smoking pot allowed him to eat, which gave us several weeks longer with him than we otherwise would have had. During those weeks, he was able to meet his first grandchild. Pot wasn't legal back then and he didn't have a prescription. Should we make sure they feel like "loser" "pothead" criminals for that?

Um, Yeah said...

Oh, and pot, meet kettle... On the multi-moniker thing, MM, how many monikers have YOU had on this board? I myself can think of at least one. As I loathe namecalling, I won't actually come right out and call you a hypocrite...

Orange Snakeskin said...

Um Yeah,

Thank you for articulating your frustration with MinuteMuggle in an adult way. I am tired of her judgmental generalizations and rude self centered replies and I've only been reading this blog for a few days!

Orange Snakeskin said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
MinuteMuggle said...

Um yeah: (and OS: here's another one for you)

I have one moniker and only one. If you have mistaken me for someone else, that is your own error.

As far as the apology you are looking for, you are not going to get one.

I teach my child a great deal of things, and one thing I will teach her is that doing illegal drugs is wrong, no matter how you look at it.

And I'm going to go out on a limb here and say this: If I were you, I would NOT have approved of my parent smoking pot. I wouldn't have called him a loser though. Unless he was. I didn't know him so I can't say. I am sorry he died, but being a wacko non-pot smoking catholic, I don't believe it was pot that made it so that he could see his grandchild. I think it was God's will.

My mom died of cancer. She went through the same thing as your Dad. Without toking. So go boo hoo to someone who cares.

Yeah, I'm a bitch. Put that in your pipe and smoke it.

But I really am sorry about your Dad. That sucks.

Phoenix said...

You know almost everyone is 420 friendly. Even people I never would have suspected. I don't consider it a drug and I prefer that my dh smokes pot rather than drink. I don't know anyone who has ever resorted to violence over weed. They usually just sit and eat... oh no nothing but that! As long as they keep it away from the kid, that's ok. I also knew someone who smoked it during her pregnancy... no complications reported. I know one person who smokes it because it helps with his epilepsy and others do it to help with depression. I think that marijuana is one of the best medicines available but since the government hasn't figured out a way to tax it, then it is illegal. Heavan forbid they actually give us something that really helps and soothes. But whatever they sound like really fun parents are easy going.

Um, Yeah said...

Wow, you've got serious issues. And bitch hardly begins to cover it. Really. It totally goes beyond having an obsession with Harry Potter that even a 10 year old would be embarrassed to own up to.

And most of the long-time people on this board really do know that you posted here under another HP-related moniker. You're not fooling anyone, UMassSlythryn.

I'll pray for you that you might find it within yourself to be a bit more compassionate and a lot less judgmental - you know, kind of like Jesus. I am NOT Catholic and if you're an example of what it means to be, then I thank MY God every day that my (not)pothead father intentionally steered me away from it. FU for hitting below the belt in the most personal way possible over a disagreement over pot. You're truly despicable.

MinuteMuggle said...

um yeah,

I said I was sorry your dad died, what more do you want?

and if you think that I'm the only person who likes Harry Potter, you are the one with issues. You can think what you want: I don't lie. Maybe if you read more literature you wouldn't be such a dumbass and you would know how to spell "Slytherin." I am not embarrassed that I read literature: quite the contrary. And I'm a Gryffindor all the way, FYI.

When I first made the pot-head comment I was joking. I won't apologize if you can't take a joke.

I never said I was a good Catholic, by the way. We are a community of sinners, not saints. That's what my priest told me. You're the one saying "FU." Kiss your bong with that mouth?

Furthermore, you shouldn't judge someone or take something so personally when it is on a blog or message board. Get over it. Go for a walk. Go smoke some more weed. I thought weed smokers were supposed to be laid back. You have a stick up your butt.

MinuteMuggle said...

P.S. Might I add that you dragged your dead dad into this conversation not me. You asked a question and I answered it. Don't bring things up you don't wish to talk about.

Phoenix said...

Let's not speak ill of dead relatives, it makes people defensive.

MinuteMuggle said...

You're right phoenix. we shouldn't. My bad.

! said...

MinuteMuggle- No, my relatives most certainly do NOT have pipes and things just sitting around the house. Any paraphernalia they have is in a small locked cabinet. It's old and their kids think that the door to it doesn't even open. I would think since their children have no clue that it exists, that it wouldn't set any sort of example for them.

I don't smoke, but amen to Phoenix's comment. I think marijuana is probably one of the safest, most useful "medicines" that exists. MinuteMuggle, you are kidding yourself if you think that all the legal, FDA approved drugs out there are even close to as safe.

I would never expect a (self-proclaimed) not good Catholic to throw such a hissy fit about a person breaking one law.

MinuteMuggle said...

oh ! I'm soooo sorry: it's in a small locked cabinet! lmfao! Forgive me! That makes it so much better.

I'm sorry but you should not have illegal drugs in a home with children. that's my only point. nothing you can say will change my opinion. Whether or not there are more harmful prescription drugs is a moot point. It's really not the point at all. It's just an argument that pot smokers use.

I'm not throwing a hissy fit. I'm just stating my opinion. If I were throwing a hissy fit, I'd be angry and frustrated. And I'm not either of those right now.

Plus as I said, I've heard all these arguments before. If you think pot should be legal, fight for it. Everyone should have a cause to fight for. Maybe that's yours.

! said...

I don't give two shits whether pot's legal or not; I already said I don't smoke. I'm done. get an effing grip.

MinuteMuggle said...

if you're done why are you still posting?

Phoenix said...

The way I see it is that adults make a conscience decision to break the law. In American in most states it IS illegal. My dh teaches his child about what is wrong and right, when his son turns 18 then he can make the decision to do whatever he wants to unfortunatly. We teach the consequences of the behavior and that is all we can do. My dh smokes it, but I don't. I don't like the feeling it gives me and that is my decision. I don't judge people who do it because if it makes them happy more power to them.
I have no authority to pass judgment nor should anyone do it to me. My feelings are my own and no one else can change that, no matter how hard they've tried. So in retrospect there is no reason to get angry over something so trivial as someone elses perception in life. It's not worth it. We all have the responsibility of protecting children. If the parents choose to smoke pot and provide their children with the best life possible than great. If the parents choose to smoke pot and neglect their kids, then there is a problem.

MinuteMuggle said...

I would not want my child's teacher or pediatrician high while caring for her, so I don't think it is right for a parent to be high while caring for their child.

But you make a good point, Phoenix: it is up to any adult if they want to break the law. However, if they see that their parent smokes and nothing bad is happening to him, they will most likely try to model that behavior, and they may not be so lucky as to not "get caught." Of course if one's value system is to teach their children that breaking the law is ok as long as you don't get caught, I question that. But you are correct in saying that it is an adult's decision if they want to break the law.

I don't think that making someone happy is a good enough reason to break the law though.

As far as "can you be a good parent and still smoke pot" we are none of us perfect. But I still think that if a parent is smoking or has illegal drugs in the house with kids, they should stop. If they were to be reported it would serve them right, but only hurt their child.

Phoenix said...

You are right in everything that you said. It is my fault I didn't clarify my statement better. It is not ok to do while in the care of a child. I mean my dh only smokes while his son is at his mom's house.
If the parent hides it from the child that is ok. I mean I never knew my father smoked pot, until a couple years ago and I didn't think less of him because he was still a great father and he protected me, and raised me right. I do find it very irresponsilbe for a parent to say one thing and do the complete opposite "in front" of the children. I had an aunt who told me not to smoke while she was lighting a cigarrette in front of me. I also think it has to do with the person. I tell you what my dh can smoke and smoke and smoke and his mind is never altered, he is quick as a whip. So it does have to do with the individual situation. I WILL report someone for doing such things if I feel the children are not being taken care of properly, I do not tolerate that at all. If the parents do it outside away from the house when they have no parental responsibilities at the time. I have no problem with it. I have seen more families broken apart by alcohol than any other drug. So many deaths and diseases caused by alcohol, yet we "think" it's ok because the gov't said it was legal, if I could have all alcohol replaced by pot, I would. The real gateway drug is alcohol, and no one seems to understand that. So I chose the lessor of the two evils to tolerate. But pot is expensive (the only down side)

ChiNanny said...

While I hate to sound like I am agreeing with MM on this (because I don't agree with all that she said) but it's not okay for parents to use pot in a house while a child is there. Whether the child sees it or not. If a child is present the parent needs to be sober to care for them, even if they are sleeping. Pot is mind altering and is not quickly removed from the system. What if you smoke a joint then your child needs you to take him to the hospital? Are you going to the hospital high?

And for those who are claiming alcohol is worse..EXACTLY. You shouldn't be drinking if a child is in your care either. You shouldn't be taking anything mind altering when a child is in your care.

The parents in #1 say they don't smoke with the child, but also that they haven't gone out in a long time. So exactly when are they smoking pot? Obviously it is with the child in their care and that's wrong.

And how about instead of teaching our children that they can decide to break the law if they're adults because pot isn't "that bad" we teach them to enjoy life without having to use mind altering substances?

Orange Snakeskin said...


Marijuana is mind altering period. I don't care if your DH dosen't "feel" altered in some way by it anymore he absolutely is. Would you let someone who has been drinking and drinking and drinking behind the wheel or care for your children list because they didn't "feel" anything?

MinuteMuggle said...

I think it is so funny that people hate to agree with me! lmao! I have re-read some of my posts and you know what? I think I do have issues! lol
I think I'm the one with the stick up my ass. :) Maybe I'm just jealous cus I want to light up and I know I can't! :)

I do apologize. I'm a dick. Sorry to everyone I've offended. I'm usually not that much of a dick. you know what? if it were legal, I'd smoke up too.

Phoenix said...

I disagree with that because I have seen it. Alcohol is much worse. But no one should be driving at all when under the influence of anything. Even though it doesn't effect them. I don't condone that behavior. Simply stating that it IS ok for an adult to do whatever they want to themselves as long as they are not around children.

jbird said...

You know what I've seen?
I have a cousin whose grandmother's son's sister was married to her brother in laws sister's brother and he has smoked cigarettes since he was 2 and now he's 75 and has neither cancer nor respiratory problems.
So cigarettes are totally good for you - he feels great!

Unknown said...

Some how I missed this whole debate and I'm sorely disappointed!!

Just throwing this out there...

As discussed, in some areas weed is not illegal--even without a permit. For instance, some areas of CA and the city of Denver. Denver even has a legal smoke out on the capital building steps every April 20th. As far as federal laws, earlier this week obama issued a statement "ordering" fed agents to respect local laws regarding weed... which many political experts say will lead to even more states de-criminializing mj. FYI, it was not even illegal until the '50/'60s...

As far as parents lighting up:

Literally every one one of my friends with kids lights up--with the exception of pregnant or nursing moms or course. Never around the kids, or even when they're awake. The only parents who tell their kids, are those with teenagers. They have the "just say no" talk, but it's more of a "when you're an adult, you can make your own choices, until then, just say no"

And honestly, I personally know many people around here who smoke--nannies, business professionals, SAHMs, nurses, teachers, union ironworkers, college prof's... It's just that these jobs don't always require you to be in your boss's home.

The OP of the ad was prob unwise is stating the 420 thing up front, but if you were a nanny and found a pipe sitting around, you'd be a mandated reporter. But if mom and/or dad live in a legal area (which if you don't smoke, you might not even know) or have medical permits... Wwll, if it were me I'd want my nanny to know I was legal!

MinuteMuggle said...

denver nanny,

much of the "debate" that you missed was just me being an a@@hole. I don't know what was wrong with me that day.

but regarding your post: I would hope that my child's nurse, or my own for that matter, was not high while working.

and as far as what to tell your children, I sort of think that telling them "when you are an adult you can make your own choices" is ok, but I would personally add, "but your father and I would hope that you abide by the laws."

sure, most people do smoke. but what if their nanny did turn them in if she found some parph. around the house? or if a neighbor turned them in? is it really worth it? I say it's not.

MaryPoppin'Pills said...

Speaking of "Just say no"... I have to chime in here. One of my friends has a son, 11yo. In school they were teaching them about the dangers of drugs, Just say no, etc. The boy came home from school one day and was hanging out with his friends in the garage... found some pot and called the Police. They arrived, questioned the Parents... and my friend was arrested! Can you imagine how bad this kid felt? I am not sure what he was thinking but all he knew was that it was illegal and he figured he needed to report it. When my friend told me about it, I explained to her that her son was doing the right thing, he was doing what he was taught and she had better not give him a hard time about it. She ended up doing a couple of days in jail, paid a fine and did some community service. And as far as I know, has quit smoking since.