Monday

Another Nanny's Nightmare...

Received Monday, August 3, 2009 - Rants and Warnings
I am sending this as a warning to nannies seeking employment in the Wichita, Ks area. The family that I was previously working for is looking for a new nanny. Please be aware, these are not people you want to work for. He is a doctor, she is a home health care nurse. They have 5 children between them and are living in Andover, KS.

I met the family online through a nanny website. They contacted me, we exchanged a few emails and phone calls, then set up an interview in their home. The interview went well enough, though I got the immediate impression that she was not a pleasant person to be around. We agreed that I would mainly be watching the two youngest, and occasionally dropping off/picking up the 3 oldest and having all 5 for an hour or two in the evenings and also in the summer. In addition to the overall care of the children, I agreed to sweep the kitchen and run the vacuum upstairs once a day. Although I wasn't given a set amount of vacation time, I was told that if I needed time off I only needed to ask and give them a little advance notice so they can find a sitter while I'm gone. The job seemed great. There were some things I didn't like, like the fact that they insisted on paying hourly instead of daily which is how I usually prefer. Also the fact that they thought a written contract was unnecessary (perhaps my greatest mistake) However, the hours and pay rate seemed perfect to me, so I excitedly accepted the job when they offered it.

I have worked for this family for the past 7 months (starting in January and ending last week) and I can honestly say these have been the worst 7 months of my life.

The children are out of control and there is absolutely no discipline in this household. The oldest, the 12 year old boy, is the worst behaved of them all. He has adhd and his parents use this to excuse his out of control, violent behavior. His parents consistently forgot to give him his medication in the morning, leaving me to deal with a child who would scream in my face and call me names, and act out physically towards his siblings.

Another problem I had with them was that I didn't feel they honored our original agreement. Very soon after I started working for them "sweeping and vacuuming" became sweeping, mopping, unloading, loading, and running the dishwasher, vacuuming the entire house, and several loads of laundry daily. They were also very hostile about giving me time off. I asked for 2 fridays off, giving over a month notice for each. The first one, she was very rude with me about. The second time she flat out refused because that was when she wanted to have her garage sale, and she couldn't possibly find anyone else to watch them for even a couple of hours.

Everything else I could have dealt with though, had it not been for the hell they put me through with my payment. In the time I've worked for them I can count on one hand the number of paychecks that have been correct. The first time they underpaid me it was by $30. I came to Mrs. R the next day and explained that she had made a mistake on my paycheck. I showed her the hours I worked (we wrote them down in a pocket calendar in a kitchen drawer) and how it didn't add up to what she paid me. She told me she would add it to my next paycheck. The next day before I left she told me that her husband didn't think they owed me that money and that I'd have to take it up with him. I came in the next morning and the calendar was nowhere to be found. I called Mrs. R and asked her about it and she said she must have lost it (??). Needless to say, they never repaid me the amount they shorted me. Nor did they repay me for any of the other paychecks they shorted me on. Eventually I stopped bringing the "mistakes" to their attention. I just took whatever they paid me, which was usually about $20-$30 less than what they owed me. Then the paychecks started coming late. Sometimes by a few days, sometimes a week, no explanation except "we won't be able to pay you until..." Add to this the numerous lunches she had me buy for the children, toys and video games I was told I'd be reimbursed for, and the cash bar at their wedding ceremony where I was instructed to buy drinks for the kids and their cousins, all of which I was never paid back for. The real kicker came a few days ago when I came to pick up my last paycheck. It was $100 less than they owed me. They subtracted 8 hours from my paycheck, claiming it was because I was inaccurate with my timekeeping. I shouldn't have been surprised, but I was shocked! As far as I know, there's no recourse for this. I've been told I can take them to small claims court, but it's my word against theirs. However, I feel if I can save some other poor girl from going through what I went through that I'll be happy. Please do not let this family use you the way they used me and the several nannies they had before me.

24 comments:

CuriousDad said...

Fascinating sounds like they were nickeling and dimeing you, or had a different perspective on what you were actually working, for example: the time you took the kids to school, they may have only charged your time for getting them to and from the school not the going to the school, nor coming back from the school after dropping them off. Maybe Nap times were taken out of the equation?
They may have been deliberately vague on what kind of general cleaning you were suppose to do. Using sweeping an vacuuming every so often as examples, not actually what they fully wanted you to do. Did they have a Nanny previous to you? If not they may have changed their minds while you were working for them about what you should be able to accomplish. The mother applying everything she was doing when she was the SAHM to the Nanny. Also are you familiar with the term Mission Creep? Sounds like what you were running into. :)
Now this is one of those, "you should have known" type comments you may not really want to hear.
But after they shorted you the first time, and did not make it back up to you, that was when to start looking for a new job.
You still may want to take them too small claims court because they probably owe taxes and unemployment insurance as well as back pay for your hours and work. That might give you the sweetest revenge. You did claim your income on taxes right?

Nanny Sarah said...

If you got copies of the contract and the hours- take them to court!

CuriousDad said...

Umm Nanny Sarah, I think she is out of luck with the contract bit, as the OP says "Also the fact that they thought a written contract was unnecessary (perhaps my greatest mistake) However, the hours and pay rate seemed perfect to me, so I excitedly accepted the job when they offered it."

worlds best nanny said...

Amazing. Parents will never short change their cell phone company, but when it comes to the person caring for their flesh and blood to hell with it!
Next time if they've had a previously had a nanny and ask for that reference. Any family that'll try and get out of that request is up to something.

MinuteMuggle said...

OP,
I am very sorry to hear that you had a bad experience. They do sound like horrible employers for sure. I feel for you. However, as CD said, you didn't have a contract with them and that is just good common sense to have one. At least you learned your lesson now, although you learned it the hard way.

As far as the child with ADHD, it is not an "excuse" for behavior if it has been diagnosed. It is a very real condition. And it is not the little boy's fault. You obviously (and this is not an attack on you) are not experienced with special needs pre-teens, which can be extremely challenging. The parents are the ones at fault for not hiring someone with specific interest/experience in sped children.

As far as your "warning" in general, I would consider taking it down because it may be legally unwise for you to keep it up. You chose to work at this job and could have quit at any time. If you cannot prove these accusations and they were to see it, they could make your life pretty miserable, especially since they are well off and can afford to hire a good attorney.

CD brings up a good point: please tell me that you claimed all of your income...did you?

Just some thoughts, and good luck to you.

D said...

You didn't name them and as long as what you claim is true then it is not slander. They have nothing to sue you for and I doubt they would bring themselves to the attention of the IRS regaurdless. I might mention to them that you WILL be filing taxes this year....

Nanny in HOT SWELTERING San Diego said...

I am sorry OP for your bad experience from this awful family. I am a nanny as well and have had similar problems as well. In hindsight, the fact that they shorted you the first time, I would have taken that as a HUGE red flag and not returned to work unless I got paid my $$.
Anyway, I call this job creep. Thanks for the warning, even though I am in San Diego, however it is good to know that your experience has taught you and all of us here a very important lesson.

mom said...

I think D is right. Nobody is named. And of the story is true, there's no liability if she did use names. And, if they want to sue her for libel, I believe that it is the responsibility of the plaintiff (which would be the employers) to prove their claim...which would mean they have to set about proving her statements are untrue...AND that they were harmend by them. With no paper trail, that's a pretty difficult case to prove.

OP, be sure to contact the IRS. That ought to do it.

JD said...

Minute muggle
I love ya sister, but stop trying to be a lawyer! I think as long as the Mrs. isn't named, OP should be fine.

NVMom said...

OP, you may still have a good claim against them. Ok, I'm not a lawyer but I went to a series of hearings in a small claims case as a witness and here's what it came down to. A contract, written or not,is in effect when both parties act as though it is. That is, you worked regular hours and had regular duties for these people. That already establishes that you were their employee. Now it comes down to how many hours. Since you can describe your duties and the hours that these took place the court can take that in to consideration since you would be demonstrating knowledge of the the work you did for these hours.

Even if you do not get every cent to which you are entitled, you would certainly be making the whole thing a giant pain for them, and that just might be worth it! Good luck.

mom said...

NVMom,
It all depends how honest her former employers are. All they have to say is "She didn't come in this day, she left early on these days, came late on these days...and that's why we fired her."

MinuteMuggle said...

jd you love me?
do you want to marry me?
:)

JD said...

Muggle,
If I was a guy, in a heartbeat! You're a trip!

cali mom said...

Take them to small claims court for EVERY PENNY they owe you. Worst that can happen is you lose the case due to lack of evidence, but it won't cost you anything, so do it.

I really hope you kept track of your hours on your own after the first time they screwed you and didn't just rely on their nonexistant honesty to not "lose" or "correct" the calendar. Do you have receipts for the video games, etc, that you bought for them? Or did mrs. R just "lose" those also?

In future, as you have probably decided b now, NEVER SHELL OUT money on your own with the promise of reimbursement. *ESPECIALLY* after your employers have screwed you once on money.

djembé said...

OP, I am not trying to be snotty or mean, but this sounds like the perfect demonstration of the adage, "We train people how to treat us.".

MinuteMuggle said...

jd,
lol :)

CHAT said...

You didn't name them and as long as what you claim is true then it is not slander. They have nothing to sue you for and I doubt they would bring themselves to the attention of the IRS regaurdless. I might mention to them that you WILL be filing taxes this year....

MissMannah said...

I would have to agree with djembe here. If someone tries to take advantage of you, call them on it The Very First Time. Don't worry about bothering people or sounding obnoxious when asking for your money. It is legally yours and if you "just drop it" it tells your employers your clearly don't respect yourself and thus neither should they.

Whatever happened to "just say no"?? You are there to take care of children--NOT to be a personal maid. So if someone asks you to go above and beyond what was agreed, remind them of that! Sometimes I would weasel my way out of extra chores by saying "Oh I'll get it done if we get some downtime." And then later saying "Sorry I couldn't throw in the load of laundry, we were just busy having fun today! This is what we did..." Make it clear to your employers you are going to do your job and not anyone else's.

Just as a side note...I've been reading this blog awhile now and this is my first comment left. I just get so sick of seeing nannies bend over backwards for unappreciative employers. But I love reading everything y'all write--cracks me up!

nannyjee said...

Minute Muggle, how dare you ask op to take down her warning. when there is a wrning for a bad nanny no one even considers this for the nanny but now a parent it has to take down. wrong is wrong, she is a horrible person to work for and all nannies should therefore be warned. what is good for the goose is good for the gander as well. give the op a break

cali mom said...

Have to agree with Nannyjee here. No one has been named, and as long as the allegations are true, the former employers cannot legally or reeasonably take issue about it, even if they WERE named. It sounds like the warning is well deserved, and hopefully enough job-hunting nannies will see it to stay away from these people.

let's get real said...

OP, what happened to you was really terrible and sucky, don't get me wrong. But HOW could you let this abominable treatment go on for so long? Not having a contract??? Letting it slide when they shortchanged you by $30 MULTIPLE TIMES??? Buying things for your charges with your own money just because they asked you to??? Why did you continue to allow them to treat you like this? The thought of a grown woman having so little backbone is frightening. I doubt you will be able to get any of your money back, because, after all, it will just be your word against theirs in court. Please, in your next job, don't allow yourself to get taken advantage of like this. They are despicable people for doing this to you, but you let them get away with it and didn't stand up for yourself. I hope you've learned something from this experience.

NVMom said...

Mom,

I agree, the employer could and probably will, lie if taken to court. However, as in many of these cases it comes down to who sounds more plausible and if OP can describe her duties throughout the day, in detail, it will carry some weight to the court. Hope she wins something.

ChiNanny said...

I have to say it, though you don't want to hear it OP, but why on earth would you buy the kids drinks and stuff out of your own pocket????

I think you learned a valuable lesson with this family, and definitely take them to court and make sure you pay your taxes like everyone else said.

San Diego Girl said...

Jey OP, Sorry about all this bs from thise lowlife family. This may sound odd, but I would have known from the get go that I couldn't get along with them. I never trust parents who expect someone to clean up after there children entirely instead of the children pitching in to help. Five kids and none of them could help with the chores? It's a bad sign on a lot of levels. It shows that the family is not a team.