Received Wednesday, July 15, 2009
I need some advice. I have been a nanny for this family for 7 months now. I watch three kids full time and am a live out nanny. It is a tough job at times, but very rewarding as well. The parents and I get along well and have not had any major issues since I have been here. I am concerned, however, about one thing. Their 6 year old does not like to listen, clean up, or do anything that she does not want to do. She whines, complains, cries, you name it--she tries it. She is not violent in any way, but can be really mean to her siblings and to me as well. She likes to say mean things on purpose to get a reaction and does it at least once a week. If she does not get a reaction, she continues to do it until she does. I have talked to her parents about it and the dad just says, "Oh, that's just what she does. I know that happens, but that's her for you." The mom is usually better saying, "I've noticed that, I'm not sure why, but yes, she does do that." I know that they tell her that it's not nice to say those things and such, but it doesn't seem to work. I have tried time-outs, sending her to her room, taking away toys/privileges, and nothing seems to work. Yesterday, I put her in time-out because she wouldn't listen, was not picking up when asked multiple times, and was doing things to make things worse for her sister when she was trying to clean up.
I came into work this morning and the oldest girl tells me that last night the 6 year old told her mom that she wants her to tell me that I am not allowed to put her into time-out and that she wants her to fire me! She has told me repeatedly that she does not like me and wants a new nanny and has said that to her parents as well. This usually happens after she is to clean up and she does not want to or if she gets a time-out. I asked the oldest what her mom said and she said that her mom asked her and the youngest child what they think and they both said that they like me and want me to stay! The mom responded with, "Well, 2 against 1." It concerns me because I don't know how to get these things to stop and I am not sure if this continues, will it affect what the parents think of me? I do a great job and have never had any complaints, but I know how it can be if one of the kids is saying they don't like the nanny, it can make the parents second guess. I've talked it over with the parents before, but they don't try to stop the behavior and she likes the attention. What should I do and think about this?