Placing the Blame

Received Tuesday, June 9, 2009
RANT on I SAW YOUR NANNY Hi. I'm a nanny and I'm new to this site. I just wanted to send in a rant/question. I understand that there are plenty of bad nannies out there because trust me I've seen them and being a nanny myself, I tend to get upset at all the negative "press" we get so I don't mind calling out a bad nanny.

My issue right now is with some of the parents that post on this site. You all automatically assume that if a child is being neglected by an adult that we must be the child's nanny, that is not the case. I have seen plenty of parents in the town where I live completely ignore their child while shopping, talking with friends, hanging out at the playground (museum, coffee shop, restaurant, etc.). I have seen children tear apart a coffee shop while their parents sit and chit chat about the local gossip. You think nannies are so bad but you don't realize your just as guilty as they are when it comes to being bad. No one is perfect every minute of every day. Yes there are some really horrible nannies out there but normally they get fired and have a hard time finding a job but who's there for the kid when it's the other way around and the parent is the one neglecting them????

For all you parents out there snapping away camera phone pics of a nanny sitting on a bench holding a child or sitting with one in a stroller, how do you consider that a bad nanny?? And where are your kids while your snapping pictures of "bad nannies"???? I don't understand how you can snap a picture of a nanny sitting down on a bench with a child sitting in front of/beside her in a stroller and consider her a bad nanny. How do you know she's not just taking a break while the child is sleeping?? You don't and it's really sad that you whip out a camera phone and take a picture of an unsuspecting person who just happens to be catching a few minutes rest before they go back to work?

Being a nanny is so different than having a normal job. Most of us are with kids 10+ hours a day, and now we have to worry about nutty parents taking a quick camera phone picture while we're taking a 15 minute break? Well thanks. It's nice to know we really are lower on the food chain than all of you "moms".

A lot of the parents that complain about their nannies also do the following::::
-write up a contract and don't stick to it once the nanny has started.
-pay the nanny "under the table" so that they can work the nanny 50+ hours without paying them overtime.
-expect the nanny to work weekends even though that was never agreed upon.
-never back the nanny up on anything and let the children walk all over the nanny
-take out marital problems on us
-have us doing above and beyond what we're suppose to be doing such as house keeping and I'm not just talking about cleaning up after the kids.

I mean there is a huge list of things and I could go on and on and on but I wont. I just don't think it's funny that the nanny's are the ones who constantly get the bad reputation but we also dedicate the majority of our lives to taking care of other people's children and most of us do it with a smile on our face and love in our heart. As cheesy as it sounds it's the truth.

Most people just choose to blame us because they don't like to take responsibility for the fact that they have the "guilty" parent syndromes. Stop blaming the nanny, stop buying things for your kid (they have enough stuff I promise), and just be there with your child. We understand you have to work during the week but that doesn't make up for the fact that you ignore your kid on the weekend while you have your "down time".

Like I said in the beginning it's not fair that we take all the blame.

-nanny from Mass


MinuteMuggle said...

Well said, nanny! I think this is a fair rant.

However, there are good posts on here about good nannies. I really enjoy those sitings. I think this blog does a great job in putting forth both sides of the issues. But I do understand your rant, although the pics I have seen on this blog are legitimate nanny sitings. Usually the OP doesn't just assume that it is the nanny: they listen and know that it is because of their observations and things that are said by the child/nanny. Furthermore, if a parent/nanny were to see themselves or their child and asked Jane or MPP to remove the pictures, I'm certain they would honor that request.

Again, I do understand your rant. Good luck to you, and thank you for your post.

p said...

There are only two types of nannies in the world. Those that are awful, mistreat the children, steal from you and lie or the ones that are better parents than you, make consistently great decisions and steal your child's love away.

Can't Remember My Moniker said...

You are new to this site. There is plenty of Mommy bashing that goes on here from both nannies and other Moms, plenty of people who bend over backwards coming to the defense of bad nannies and plenty of good nannies who take offense at these bad nannies tarnishing the reputation of their profession. I agree with you that there are some pretty bad employers out there and shame on them. But, no matter how bad an employer is, it is never OK to take it out on a child by being uncaring, mean spirited or negletful as many of the bad nannies sittings here describe.

Momkat said...

When someone takes a picture of a nanny sitting on a bench with the child, they're trying to identify the nanny for the wrong things the nanny recently did...not for sitting on the bench with the child. It would be too tough to snap a picture of the nanny in the act of inappropriate behavior...but they do want to show who the nanny is so the parents can identify her.

SAHM said...

Great post OP. You are right, sometimes the nannies on this site are held to a way higher standard than a parent would be. Nannies have bad days (not to excuse abusive or neglectful behavior of course) just like parents do.

My kids are playing with sticker books right now as I am on the computer-MOST Mom's I know are on the computer/phone when the kids are around. Seems like it's OK for a Mom but not a nanny.

NannyJ said...

Hey, I'm a nanny too, and though I agree with portions of your rant...it is obvious that you haven't been around here (the site) for long.
When there isn't any good evidence that the caretaker is a nanny, you better believe there are people on this site raising hell about the postings, and if it isn't a truly neglectful sighting the OP get's pretty much verbally beaten to a pulp.
There are some terrible nannies. It is true. Sometimes when I am with my charges at the park (etc.) I think about this site and I wonder how anyone could even be as bad of a nanny as some that are seen on here. What actually bothers me more are the "good nanny" sightings. I feel like those sightings assume more often that all nannies are crap and that this one who is seen to be doing their job is above and beyond wonderful (aka not typical).

Being a nanny is a tough job, but when you take the job, you also often (knowingly) take on that list that you posted of extra work that are not really in your job description. It's all part of the job, and if you don't want to do it...don't.


NannyJ said...

SAHM's comment made me think of something else!
Of course nannies are held to a higher standard then parents when it comes to care! of course it is not okay for a nanny to be on the computer or phone when they are on the job....because they are ON THE JOB! It is a job. As a nanny, you are not the parent! You don't get to do the same thing the parent does. Sad fact is that the parent can do (to an extent) anything they want with their kids, because they are the parent. If the parents don't want their kid watching tv while you are taking care of them, but they let them watch tv when they are taking care of them... that is up to them! They aren't getting paid for it. We nannies are getting paid to go above and beyond and make sure the kids are learning, safe, and having a good time.

MinuteMuggle said...


All of my friends, regardless of what their jobs are, spend a great deal of time on the computer (facebook, myspace, blogs.) It is not as crazy as it sounds.

I would have no problem with my nanny going online when the child was otherwise engaged.

Being a nanny is just a job like any other. Yes, you are taking care of children, but it doesn't mean that you are the President of the United States, who probably goes on Facebook too.

NannyJ said...

Being a nanny is not a job like any other! Jobs are different, they are not all the same! I know many people who CANNOT use the internet for personal business (other then maybe email) while they are at work. It's nice if you are fine with your nanny doing that... but not all parents are. I personally wouldn't feel right about being paid to chat with my friends online, and if I ever have a nanny I wouldn't want to pay them for that either... but I guess that's just me.

MinuteMuggle said...

Yes, I guess that's just you.

chick said...

Being a nanny is not only a demanding job, but it can also be quite isolating. That's why many nannies do take time for themselves while their charges are napping or otherwise safely occupied to connect with people on-line. If an employer can't understand that need, I would wonder why.

That said, nannies are being paid to nurture and care for their charges. Parents are 9generally) not paid to be with their children, and they ultimately have the right to do whatever they choose when they are in charge of their kids. May nopt be stuff you or I feel is OK, but it's none of our business.

A nanny who is not acting as we in the community feel a nanny should act should be called out on her behavior. She doesn't have the right to yak on her cell and ignore her charges at the park/museum/pool. Period.

I'm working right now. Toddler is asleep, I am doing laundry (why does my DB find it impossible to turn his socks right side out before tossing them into the hamper??) and checking in here. When toddler wakes up, I will be engaged with him and the laundry and the internet will be done with for the day.

(BTW, I am generally posting as "Tales from the (nanny)hood" these days.)

NannyJ said...

When children are napping I see no problem with getting on the computer, watching tv, reading, texting, etc. Just not when I am being paid to watch the kids.

I don't get why MinuteMuggle has such a problem with me...

MinuteMuggle said...

nannyJ I have absolutely no problem with you. I apologize if it seems I do. But I don't!

:) peace!

Lindsey said...

When you start paying me to be a parent, I will start letting you make the rules. I am the parent and I make the rules. If I had a nanny (I don't, I was one previously), the nanny needs to abide by my rules. I would not be paying a nanny to leave my child sitting in a stroller for an hour while she sits and does nothing, I would not be paying her to let my child run along and wander the playground aimlessly while she reads a magazine. If I don't want my child watching tv, then thats how it goes. What I do with my child on our time is none of your concern (unless abuse is involved). I can be on the computer, and I can sit my kid in front of the tv, and I can give them junk food, and if I don't want the nanny to do it then so be it. A nanny and a parent are not the same, you are being paid to do a job. Weather or not a nanny lets her employer walk all over her and make her clean up the dog shit and pick up the dry cleaning and come home late every night, well thats the nannies fault for not stepping up and calling the employer out, Somone can only continue taking advantage of you for as long as you let it happen.

So please do not compare yourself to a parent, because you're not. You are someone who is paid to take care of your charge, not sit around on your ass. If you don't like the parents rules, then quit.

oh well said...

Jumping into the conversation, Nanny J, and I don't even know MinuteMuggle, but I wouldn't like this thread to turn into another nasty episode of bickering, and I am pretty sure she has nothing against you. It is so easy to misunderstand what is typed away at the computer. You sound like a great nanny and I agree with what you said. As for OP's rant, I am not so sure that all parents reporting nannies here enjoy nanny-bashing. I think most posters take pains to be accurate, and give their honest impressions, but to me a nanny being reported as "bad" is not necessarily a "bad" nanny.

uh yea said...

Lindsay, learn how to spell.

Lindsey said...

Is that the best you can come up with? So I spelled whether like weather, get over it. I am sure you can come up with something better.

Does this moniker make my butt look big said...

Lindsay..you are right and boy did you say a mouthful..many parents just like you,on there own time with their child.. sit their child in front of the tv,gossip on the phone while at the park and feed them junk..they simply get through their day with the child..it's a good thing many of those same parents are smart enough to know their children deserve better for the majority of their week and pay someone to provide good quality,loving care and basic needs & nutrition.Thank you for clearing that up.You are right..what you do with your child is your business.

Manhattan nanny said...

OP: Most of the posters on this site are motivated by an interest in the well being of children. Occasionally someone seems to have a hostile attitude toward nannies as a group, and this is usually someone who doesn't employ a nanny. This is not the norm, and my hope is that those of us who post here can show them that there are caring and competent nannies out there. (I hope will you join in!)
As for parents, yes, there are some who could do a much better job of parenting. I understand your frustration, but all we can do is give our best to the children in our care, and enjoy the laughs and hugs.

Lindsey said...

Big Butt,

I did not say that is what I do, I said that if I had a nanny and that is what I wanted to do, then that's my business. I didn't say it was the best thing for the child, I was speaking figuratively. This is why I stay at home and take care of my own kids, because I don't want to have to spot my nanny on ISYN and constantly worry if they are being taken care. Btw, my 6 year old is reading a book, my 4 year old is playing at his train table and my 2 year old son is sitting next to me drinking his bottle. (He is disabled and does not eat solid food, for those of you who are gawking at the screen at the thought of a 2 year old with a bottle. :)

And is it really that hard to spell my name with an E, as it has been posted like that every time.


silly said...

Oh, Lindsay. You seem to have a bee in your bonnett.

fox in socks said...

p, wow, that was some post (the second post). Heavy.

does this moniker make my butt look big said...

LindSAY..I simply call them as I see them and honey..I call a duck a duck!!QUACK!!

Fellow Nanny said...

The immaturity on this board is driving me nuts! and you call yourselves adults. Drama Mamas.

Why is no one entitled to their opinion?? I agree with Lindsey's post. She expressed her opinion...those who didn't like it attacked first her spelling (uh, really?) and then attacked her as a person.

What is it about the notion of a nanny actually working that gets everyone's panties in a bunch?

cali mom said...

Big Butt, you call a lot of things a lot of things and STILL like to pretend your poop smells like roses. ***PLOP***

uh, yea said...

cali mom....gross....talk about immature!

Lindsay you need to lighten up and get a sense of humor, especially about us spelling your name wrong, but it was obvious that you have a stick where the sun don't shine....I'm the parent you're just the nanny, if I wanna do this or that or blah blah blah. You sound like a self-important you know what, so calm down already.

And then you started fighting like a sixth grader e.g.: " I am sure you can come up with something better."

You seem alright in your other posts, just don't agree with you here.

Mom concerned about privacy said...

When I first saw this site I thought it was a great site for information on nannies - still good I think.

But taking pictures of women and children and posting them on the web is a safety risk that is far greater than some of the garden variety neglect reported here.

Most of the time there is no need for pictures. Just the verbal description is enough to generate debate.

The argument that the children cannot be identified is a narrow one. These children typically will visit the playground or library where they were photographed again and again with their nannies. In the same setting the kids in the photos can be recognized even if their faces are only partially visible.

Someone trolling the web might take a fancy to the sweet little kid or nanny and could stalk them.

The people posting pictures and the blog owners have a responsibility to society to completely blur faces.

I do wish parents would be more concerned about their kids pictures on the web.

Vanessa said...


I agree that no one should pay their nannies to go to the park and read a magazine while the kid plays unattended, but What is the point of your rules, then if you're going to break them as soon as you get home. That's the definition of a crappy parent. SURE! Let the nanny raise the child correctly, and do the hard work. No. You're wrong.

If you make rules EVERYBODY IN THAT HOUSEHOLD MUST FOLLOW THOSE RULES INCLUDING YOURSELF. Other wise the children grows up not knowing who the authority is or won't know how to act regarding many things. And just because you're not getting paid to be a parent, it doesn't give you an excuse to be negligent.

If you ever want a nanny to care well for your kid, you need to work as a team.

I'm surprised that you having been a nanny, think this way.

one more said...

IMO, there is a big difference between meeting your personal needs as a human being and actually not doing your job. For instance, if I have just walked with my charge a long distance to the playground in hot weather, it is not absurd for me to make him wait in the stroller for one extra minute while I drink some water (and offer him some, too, of course). If we see someone we know, it is not wrong for me to have a brief polite exchange with them (it sets a good example of pro-social behavior). But I am being paid to work, so I don't need a lot of "down-time." If you work a long day, you take breaks while kids are napping (younger) or playing independently (older). I don't think a lot of people here disagree with that.

Lindsey said...


Like I said before, I was speaking figuratively about those rules (tv,junk food, etc). The point is that at no point should the nanny feel like she has a right to do as a parent does. A nanny needs to understand that he should not be comparing herself to the Mother, as one is a paid employee and one is the parent.

That being said in an ideal situation, both nanny and parent would have a great relationship and work together to make the best situation for the children.

Would I give my kid a candy bar in front of the nanny and then say, don't give him any junk food only I can, No. Would I say he can only watch tv with me, no. I was just trying to point out (Maybe in a snotty way) that nannies need to quit acting like they have any right to tell the parent what to do and what not to do. Obviously what I stated was at the extreme end of the spectrum.

The fact is, the nanny can't do whatever she wants because she is an employee, and she should remember that during one of the rants.

does this moniker make my butt look big said...

here we go Calimom..I was not adressing you YET you have to attack me and make it personal. Lindsay is a big girl. If she is not a duck..let her tell me that. What I read in her post was what I was responding to. Pls stop following me and giving me hell..its no fun for anyone!
I still think it is a bunch of BS to expect a nanny to give better care to your kids than you do and I have a right to call parents on it if I choose to do so!!
Back off CM..its not always about you chick!

a nanny from MA said...

I know I'm being paid to do a job and I do my job very well but if were at the local park (where we normally go), my 3 charges prefer I not interact with them (of course they want me to push them on swings or chase them in the open field beside the park for a game of tag) but they are at the age where they like to play alone or make up their own little games, so is it wrong for me to sit and speak with another nanny or even a parent while the kids play?? I mean if they are destroying the playground, fighting, or being rude to other children I stop my conversation and I handle it. I would hate to think of someone snapping a picture of me while I'm having a conversation with someone and my charges don't need me and label me a bad nanny.

I also agree with the mother that pictures on the net (especially now a days) can lead to a some what dangerous position. I have a myspace and facebook and even though post are private and I only add family and close friends you can still see my main picture is still viewable by anyone and I once was approached out in public by someone I didn't know, it was very scary (my picture is now a landscape picture or a group picture so that no one can identify me from the internet).
So I agree with that mother that its not necessary for pictures if you give a good description. If a nanny hapens to be doing what I mentioned aboved and her employer sees the picture it can create un-necessary drama and tension for all parties involved.

a nanny from MA said...

Also as I forgot to add in my previous post, how do you know that nanny isn't working 60 hours a week and she's just finding a quiet minute to take a break?
I know a few nannies that are working for families who have completely abused the contract and is over working the nanny without extra pay or time off and the nanny is so afraid of being fired or leaving due to the lack of work out there so she's sucking it up and doing her job and just taking breaks when she can???
And trust me as a nanny with many great references and a lot of experience its still hard to find a job. For every family out there, there are probably 20 nannies looking.

nyc mom said...

To address OP's issues by paragraph:

2. I think the issue of assuming someone is a nanny vs a parent has been addressed on here excessively. My understanding of the general consensus was that we try our best to identify a caregiver based on judgment, common sense, and observation. But it is better to err on the side of overreporting a concerning incident or quality of care and let the parent reading the report make a final decision. If an ISYN sighting ends up being someone other than a sitter (such as a relative or friend), then so be it. Perhaps it will raise their awareness and they can email Jane or MPP to have the sighting removed if they choose.

I think we are all well aware that there are not-so-great parents as well as not-so-great nannnies. However, this site is called I Saw Your Nanny and the goal is identifying poor Nannies/Sitters/Au Pairs, etc. If OP or someone else wants to start a blog dedicated to bad parent sightings or if Jane chooses to increase the scope of this blog, then parent sightings would be welcome there.

3. I do not believe anyone is randomly snapping Nanny pics based on the fact that someone is taking a break. I have only submitted a sighting once or twice, but in each case I made sure to stick around an extra 30mins to be confident the Nanny's behavior was consistently concerning, not just needing a brief rest. I take a ISYN very seriously as I'm aware it could cost someone a job. However, I take the well-being of the children more seriously so would rather overreport than underreport.

5. All these concerns are valid and if they are happening then every Nanny has a right to bring them up with their employer to try to solve them or quit. I know it's easy to just say "quit" and much harder to find a new job right now. But I doubt anyone on here, Nanny or parent, is defending an employer doing these things.

Finally, I agree with a couple of folks above that you simply cannot compare a Nanny to a mother or hold them to the same standard. A Nanny is a paid employee hired to do an agreed-upon job description. While working, she should do a good job, plain and simple. I would apply the same expectations to any employee in any field. Should a parent meet the same standards of care? Absolutely. But even if the parents are not doing a great job, that is simply no excuse for the Nanny to do her job poorly.

I personally believe that one of the most important skills as a Nanny in terms of professionalism (not childcare) is being able to avoid personalizing and comparing the Parent/Nanny jobs. If you can't help but feel resentment and constantly judge your employer, then I think Nannying is a bad choice of careers. It is an oddly intimate relationship that requires the maintenace of professional boundaries. It's not the right choice for some parents or nannies if they aren't able to juggle the interpersonal conflicts.

Let them eat cake said...

I understand the OPs point about having rules for the nanny that the parents don't follow. As a nanny in that situation, it makes life miserable.

My charges are not allowed to watch tv at all, no video or computer games, no junk food (including goldfish crackers, any other type of cracker, hot dogs, chicken nuggest, mac and cheese, or about any other "kid" food you can think of), are on a strict sleep schedule, and have many other restrictions. I abide by all of these rules because it is my job.

However, in the evenings and on weekends they have junk food, watch tv and movies, play on the computer, and sleep whenever their parents feel like putting them to bed. This causes my job to be even harder because when I'm there (especially on Mondays) I'm pulling kids off the computer, taking the tv remote away and arguing that they have to eat fruit not ice cream. When they ask why, what do I say? I tell them it's the rule, but that makes no sense to them because that wasn't the rule the day before.

If parents want to set those types of limits for nannies, I think they should follow them too. It makes the kids lives consistent.

2 different sets of rules said...

I completely agree with Let them eat cake.
We as nannies understand we are paid employees. We still want the best for your kids and we still love them regardless of pay. That's a proven fact by how many nannies are miserable because of employers but love the charges so they choose not to leave even if it would be better for them.

It's completely unfair for the parents to have their own rules. It confuses the child when the parents and the nanny are saying two different things all the time.
The charges don't understand why we won't let them have or do certain things, I hear the phrase "well mommy lets me" all the time and quite frankly it's beyond annoying. I love my little charges so I've stuck it out for them but I wish the parents would get on the band wagon.
It is YOU who makes the rules so please help your nanny out and follow your own rules.

cali mom said...

Big Butt, get it through your fat head that this is a PUBLIC forum, and when you post, people can and will reply. Once more, read as slowly as you need to and say the sounds out loud if it helps you understand, you do NOT have the right to tell anyone here what they may and may NOT respond to. You post, I post, someone else posts too. See how it works?To expect people to stay silent just because you wish they would is typical of your general idiocy.

toonces the cat who would drive a car said...

This website rocks! Of all the similiar websites outing bad behaviors, cheaters, handicap parking space stealers, men who scream obscenities at women, this blog is still rolling after three years and still at the top. So if you don't like it, move on down, move on down the road. Oh yeah, move on down, move on down the road.

same shit different day said...

cali..go to hell and take your damn cat with you! Your insults are just a lame attempt to justify your sad & pathetic actions..you get really bad when the offended poster actually hits the nail on the head..transparent to a tee.

mom said...

I haven't read all the posts yet, but I have to stop and say that I really liked NannyJ and Chick's posts.
A nanny is PAID to work specific hours. A mom has to fit all of her life into the hours when she can somehow get her kids otherwise occupied for a few minutes at a time. I am a SAHM and I know how hard this juggling act can be.
However when I have had jobs (even the current unpaid, volunteer position I now do) I would never think of using the computer at the place I volunteer for personal internet surfing or e-mail, not even for a moment...nor would I waste the time I am supposed to be working while I am there to talk on the phone, etc. When I was being paid, my conviction was even that much stronger that I should work the ENTIRE time I was being paid and do my personal stuff afterwards. The fact that "everybody cheats" is no excuse, and doesn't make it even the tiniest bit more right.

That said, I have no issue with what any caregiver, nanny or mom, does when the children are sleeping (unless a nanny is being paid to do housework per her contract during that time.) And, for the record, I don't recall seeing any post here ever about a nanny relaxing at the park while the child strapped in the stroller beside her was napping. The ones I see are mostly about awake children struggling for extended periods to free themselves and play, while nanny sits back and ignores them. Nobody begrudges nannies a rest while the children nap. We all understand how valuable a few moment's to refresh are for somebody who is with children all day long. Just do it at appropriate times and there is zero issue. Zero.

cali mom said...

Dear Shit, why do you hate my cat? Do you harbor this resentment against all furry creatures? Or just felines? Did a cat steal your boyfriend once? What gives?

just a thought. said...

I have a lovely relationship with my employers and she calls in throughout the day to hear about how the day is going or to ask me a question about something and I've been on the phone with her before and I've seen people look at me like the worst nanny because I'm on the phone while my charges are playing and they don't realize I'm on the phone with my employer. Its possible that a nanny on the phone is speaking to her employer.

mom said...

Just a thought,

I sincerely hope that people who post sitings here watch for a while and report only nannies who display ongoing poor behavior, not ones who take a brief phone call, or even two, because that could, indeed, be a parent calling.

If the nanny spends eons on the phone in a public setting, you can pretty well bet its not the mother or father on the other line, because almost any reaqsonable parent is going to realize that nanny needs t keep it brief and watch the kiddos pretty intensely in public.

All we can do is hope/trust that the OPs who post here are reporting because they truly believe they have witnessed bad care. From time to time somebody posts about an allegedly bad nanny and the overwhelming opinion in the responding posts is that the nanny was behaving within appropriate bounds and should probably not have been reported. Still, hopefully those times are just cases of somebody being overly zealous, but with their heart in the right place anyway.

I think any truly good nanny would be well recognized by their employers as a valuable gem and given a chance to explain, and probably the benefit of the doubt, if they ended up here by mistake. I know that there isn't one of my trusted babysitters I would have suspected of being a bad caregiver, even if I saw them written up here. Sure, I'd ask them what went on to cause the posting, but I knew all of them so well that I would have first suspected an error if they turned up on here.

This site isn't intended in any way to be a witch hunt.

A WOHM said...

It depends on what is reported here Mom. I've never had my nanny outed on this site, but I did have her come to me early on in our relationship about a bad nanny moment. She walked away from my baby who was sleeping in the stroller to help my oldest on the swings, and the stroller rolled down a hill and fell over before she could catch up to it--she had not set the brakes and was fairly far away from it. He was strapped in and was not hurt but it shook the nanny up. I thanked her for telling me, Lord knows it's understandable to get distracted caring for multiple young kids and I have had BPMs (bad parent moments) too, but please be more careful. That brief conversation was the end of it, however, had she not openly shared what happened and I found out about something what could have potentially been very dangerous (there is a street at the bottom of the hill) through this site, my daughter, or someone else, it sends the message the nanny either thinks it's no big deal or is trying to conceal something. I would not have shrugged it off.

mom said...

That makes perfect sense to me. I would like to think (and I do believe it is true) that the people I hired to watch my kids were the caliber of people that would have also reported such an incident to me, and would have trusted me to know them well enough to not fly off the handle.

Believe it or not (I seem to have a lot of similar stories to what I see here) I accidentally let my Burley trailer (that covered thing that you pull from he back of a bicycle, or push like a stroller, that holds two small kids) roll down a large hill at a televised golf tournament! I let go for an instant and there it was heading downhill, gathering speed faster than I could run after it. Luckily, those things are so low to the ground that they are nearly impossible to tip. I had a small baby and a toddler inside. It went under the crowd control ropes and stopped just short of the green. I looked to see the golfers approaching the green and, unbelievably in hindsight, I immediatley begant to roll through what personal contents were inside the trailer and weighing whether there was anything inside that could 1) lead back to identifying me, or 2) could be replaced, at almost any cost, rather than make me face the humiliation of crossing that barrier in shame to retrieve the trailer. Everything was looking good...I even had worked through how I could replace my entire key ring...until I remembered that my kids were inside! Not only were they a source of immediate identification back to me, but I really, really wanted them back. So off I went down the hill, head bowed in shame as people glared at me. Under the ropes I went and got my errant bike trailer and made the walk of shame back out of the range of the tv cameras. MY son had a ball on his wild ride. The baby never knew the difference.

And, believe it or not, that wasn't even the worst embarrassment I suffered during that tournament. I accidentally showed Johnny Bench my...um...hoochy. But that's a whole different story. I'll tell you that one another time...if something similar ever presents itself here...which I sincerely hope it does not!

A W'OHM said...

Mom: LOL. From your posts it sounds like you are a great Mom and it makes me feel good that even you screw up sometimes.

JustBeNice said...


right on! i feel you because i am a nanny, and I am a really sweet sensative person. I resent that so many parents are anti-nanny. I think it's mean, really. I know there are bad nannies, but those really aren't nannies if we are being honest. They are posing as nannies.

too funny! said...

Ha! That is so funny. I've thought the same thing before. Just because the adult is of a different race doesn't make that adult the nanny. I'm af-am and have an adopted caucasion daughter. so funny!

Real Bad Mommies said...

Looks like since this "Bad Mommy Blog" was in the News, it may start up again!

And here's the Link to the News Item on CNN:


It can be seen under the Heading:
"Is Bad Parenting In?"