Thursday

Crosstown Bus from 79th Street in NYC

Received Thursday, March 12, 2009
nanny sighting logo Sharp, smooth faced Caribbean nanny with tight silky pony, wearing a red sweater under a black jacket with blue jeans and black boots. Nanny was caring for a little red haired boy of about 2 years old. She boarded the bus on 79Th Street at approximately 10AM, yesterday (3/11). She picked the child up and placed him on the seat grabbing him over his arms. (Not good). She then wrestled with a mint green umbrella stroller and sat down. Once she sat down, another nanny of similar descent shouted a recognition greeting to her and the two began chatting. The bus was not that full at this time. The other nanny asked her if her job was going any better and the nanny said word to the effect of "they are all the same. No good mother hires a nanny to watch her child when she's home all day". The other nanny then asked her if it was at the least better than her last job and the red sweater ed nanny said, "nothing is as bad as that. Them children were abused by their mother, abused". From this a very detailed conversation went on about legal rights and department of family services and how this woman should not be allowed to have children. The red sweater ed nanny, while speaking unkindly about her current employer as the two year old sat next to her went on at length about how she raised the children their whole lives and without her there she hears they are suffering. The little boy she was taking care of had on a blue puffy jacket with a easily identifiable copper colored liner. His hair was curly, brown eyes and black old school converse. The whole time she was talking she didn't even acknowledge the child next to her except to shush him when he was looking out the window and thought to interrupt her to ask her a question. Crushing a child's curiosity, gossipping, maligning current and former employers, mishandling a child, wearing your hatred for your job and the child in your care like a fluorescent banner. Sad. So sad.

28 comments:

the original gimmeabreak said...

I am sure I will get flack for this, but, this does not sound like a big deal at all! Mishandling the child? Did she hit him? OK, you didn't like the way she picked him up, but, really, big deal! Gossiping? yeah, ok, she was gossiping about her former employer, umm, big deal!
Seriously, people who work in offices talk about their jobs and their bosses all the time~! She was wrong for making the ONE comment about this child's mother in front of him, but other than that, i don't see the big deal here!

M. Stokes, NYC said...

There is no big deal. You, the original gimmeabreak are just a low caliber nanny and you are perfectly fine with a child being ignored.

I am a mother who has a super nanny on payroll and not only would this never be her, this would bother her too. I don't mean bother like lose sleep over, but bother her to the point that she, like I would hope that the mother knows about the care the child IS NOT receiving.

Jacqui said...

I'm with the originalgimmeabreak.
OP saw this nanny for a very brief period of time, interacting with a friend in a very specific environment that didn't require her to be on top of her charge every second. This, to me, is just nitpicking. From this sighting alone, it would be unfair for us to decide whether or not this was a bad OR a good nanny.
Everytime I see someone on the phone in a car, while their child is sitting in the backseat, I'm supposed to assume the mother/nanny/father whoever it is, is neglecting the child because they're not amusing the kid constantly?
I mean really..they were on a BUS...

And as far as gossiping is concerned. It's quite a brazen accusasation to make that this nanny somehow doesn't LIKE her charge because she's disgruntled with the parents? Besides not talk to him while she caught up with a friend, what gave you that idea? If anything, her gossipping seems to imply that she cared a lot for her last charge and was disgusted by the abusive mother.

I don't know. I dislike the bad nanny sightings as much as the next person, but this is sighting just doesn't sit well with me.

I kind of agree with nanny said...

She's right about the fact that no good mother would leave her child with a nanny full time if she is home.
I really think mommy is to blame on this one. If she's not at work, she should be watching her nanny much closer.

the original gimmeabreak said...

No, sorry to disappoint you, but, I am not a nanny at all, I am a mom who lives in NY. Sorry, not everyone who disagrees with you is a nanny.

the original gimmeabreak said...

and, how was this child being ignored? you mean, because he wasn't allowed to interrupt a conversation going on between 2 adults? umm, I am sorry, maybe I am old school, but if 2 adults are talking, children should not be interrupting unless it is urgent.

parents like you are the reason why kids run amuck (sp) and have no discipline and think the world revolves around the, Yes, children should be loved and cared for but, they should also be taught that there is a time and place for everything and they are not the center of the universe and sometimes they have to wait. Teaching your child boundaries is another way of showing your love for them!

nobiggie said...

doesnt sound so bad to me, she wasnt bad mouthing the kids mother, she could have been paying more attnetion to him i guess, but it sounds like she was catching up with a friend

WTF? said...

Meh. Non-sighting.

the original gimmeabreak said...

Oh, and I just noticed that this child was 2 years old (I thought originally he was 3), so, the comment made about his mother went over his head, though, again, shouldn't have been said in the first place.

nyc mom said...

My standard for whether a nanny sighting is a "big deal" is whether or not the behavior in question would bother me if I employed said nanny. Yes, I would be very offended if the nanny I employed were yelling out on a public bus that I was not a good mother, while my child were present. I would not want a nanny who believed I was a bad parent and openly judged my choice in a disrespectful way. I am not a SAHM, but I can certainly imagine tons of scenarios under which I would welcome additional childcare help as a SAHM. I do completely understand how it is a much different and in many ways more challenging job to work for a SAHM. However, if you do not have any respect for your employer and malign her in front of her children, then you should have had the good sense not to take this kind of job. Plus, I prefer to take the OPs at face value since they were present during the sighting and I was not. If OP walked away feeling that the nanny showed hatred toward her job and the child, that concerns me.

I appreciate the sighting OP and were this my nanny, I would certainly want to know. At the very least, I would discuss the issue of working for a SAHM with her and decide that perhaps the job was not a good fit for her. Not all sightings need to be openly abusive. Full time nannies are with our kids 40+ hours a week and this is a big influence on a child's development. I want someone I believe to be of sound mind, good judgment, and strong character. I don't need my nanny to agree with me on every issue or be a perfect person, but I do want someone with whom I can share a mutual respect and this nanny and her employer do not appear to have that. I appreciate the sightings that give us a glimpse into these less tangible qualities also.

please said...

MPP and Jane, I think we have a troll. Could you delete Rosa's comments?

Reader of Blog said...

I do believe that this site should be monitored and if there are any inappropriate comments then they should be deleted. But freedom of speach is being able to speak your mind! I am a nanny and am appaled by many sightings I see on here. When I read Rosa's comment I thought it was complete sarcasm and not to be taken seriously. I do not thing we should go around deleting people's comments left and right because they are not what you want to here. Everything she described is how some people treat their nannies and how they believe they should act. Although this site's original purpose is to spot bad nannies it also has turned into more then that; a place for nannies and mothers to share opinions and perspectives.
Thanks for listening.

ohwhynot said...

To Please: Apparently you wouldn't recognize sarcasm or satire if it walked up and bit you on the ass.

Reader of Blog said...

Thank you ohwhynot!!

Phoenix said...

i don't see what the big deal is. What I get is the little boy had wonderful manners and didn't interupt the adults when they were talking.

worlds best nanny said...

Yup, I have to agree with "the original gimmeabreak"
This is a non-event.
No child got hurt, no child was neglected, no child was abused. How many times have we shushed our kids? How many times have we ignored questions? It goes with the territory with being a kid, you do not interrupt adults when they are speaking. Hired adults or not. No one squelched their imagination...please.
I hate to say this Mommies, but unless you are the perfect Virgin Mary, Mother of Jesus, you are flawed and these flaws will be gossiped about by your employees. Just like you piss and moan about your own bosses. So stop seeing yourselves as the know all, be all.
I am nearly 100% sure that those kids have heard both Mom and Dad grouch gossip and complain right in front of them whether it be to each other or on the cellie. Now let's stop wasting each others time and bust some real heavy duty nannies with issues. Oh and lets not forget ladies, I am a MOMMY and a NANNY. Oh another thing! If a nanny can write a load of B.S. like a certain post that was on here than why not a Mommy?

Manhattan Nanny said...

As a nanny, I am in total agreement with NYC Mom. The nanny should not be saying anything critical of her employer in front of the child no matter what age he is. If she doesn't approve of SAHMs having nannies, she shouldn't have taken the job. If the nanny and mom don't have mutual respect for each other, even very young children pickup on that, and it affects them.

Nanny Taxi said...

I was just reading the comments. If people are going to point fingers and ask for certain posts to be removed because they don't agree with them, I am going to walk away from this forum. I will also tell all how biased it it. Unless there is a personal attack, really nasty vulgarities, or blatant racism then all posts should be allowed. We do have freedom of speech do we not? If this is going to become a board of a bunch of people agreeing with each other it's eventually dry up and die. The difference of opinions make interesting reading.

ISYNPostersLoveMeMissDee said...

Children can recognize when the adults responsible for their well being and care don't get along. I too have wondered what a SAHM can do to have a FT nanny, unless of course, she is physically unable to care for her children. If it's a SAHM mom without a terminal illness or severe injury, they should be taking care of their own children, not having a nanny do it for them. I have a child in my class who is the most disrespectful child I have ever seen-she is three years old, think she can do whatever she wants, and won't listen to me. I have tried everything I can to get her to listen, however, nothing seems to work. Then the other 24 children in my class, who come on different days, listen without a problem. This one child is smart, and so sweet, yet her mother, who I am not too fond of, seems like a lazy bitch of a mother. Will I say it to the child directly? No. I have to be nice to this parent, who is always on her phone and too busy to say goodbye to her own child. And there are days I want to throw the parent's phone in the toilet. Sorry, had a rough morning with my car and a rough afternoon.....

cali mom said...

If a parent is abusive and child protective authorities have been contacted, why should their atrocious actions be kept confidential? I doubt a 2 year old could follow such a conversation. I don't see what the perceived problem is here, though maybe I am missing something?

honest nanny said...

psh. OP I think YOU have a personal issue with these nannies. What they did wasn't abusive or negligent.

So this isn't about what the nannies did, this is about YOU. You need to figure out your own issues and leave others alone.

SF said...

A two year old is not following this conversation. And "crushing a child's curiosity?" !!? Unbelievable. OP, I have a feeling you were just WAITING for a "sighting" like this so you could post. So sad. So so sad.

EyesWideOpen said...

Now everyone will see that JD and MPP are totally biased and have friends on the site. They delete what they dont think is appropriate for their special group of friends, u know people who dont kiss their ass. This is supposed to be a forum for nanny and parent alike, you are not God. Please be fair. The more things change, the more they stay the same...

Jane Doe said...

Eyes Wide Crazy,
I delete what I think is inappropriate. If you would like to email me directly and argue the cleverness of the deleted comment, please do.

Onyour.... said...

why would anyone want to argue with a one sided/minded bigoted bitch?

Jane Doe said...

Yeah you're right.
She's always right.

chgonanny said...

Not exactly the best nanny in the world, but nothing special. So the nanny shouldn't be talking trash in front of the charge, but perhaps she had a bad morning. When I've had a horrible morning (the kids are fighting, the parents threw me a curve ball with scheduling, etc.) and I see one of my nanny friends, I admit, sometimes I blow off a bit of steam once the kids are out of earshot.

Maybe if MPP and Jane are posting these lukewarm sightings, maybe there's just not that many awful nannies being employed these days! Sigh... What can I say? I'm the eternal optimist.

El Mommy said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.