Monday

Parking Lot of Bonda Restaurant in Westport, CT

Received Monday, February 2, 2009
nanny sighting logo Nanny Sighting 2/2/09. Location: parking lot of Bonda Restaurant in Westport, CT. This restaurant was not open. I had pulled in the parking area by the rest to deal with a three year old having a temper tantrum. I was mostly consumed with dealing with a child who was pelting me with cheeznips and screaming at the top of her lungs. I noticed a dark SUV, a ford, but I don't know the model, late model, newish, shiny, that was in the parking area kind of behind me where there is a dumpster. Not parked by but near. I looked up when I heard broken glass. The woman in the passenger seat was throwing bottles out of her car. Now that I looked at her, she was swigging out of a small bottle. She then tossed that bottle in the direction of the dumpster.

As she drove past me, I could see a small boy of 2 or under asleep in his carseat which was positioned directly behind the passenger seat. I was still disciplining and calming down my child. The woman looked directly at me. She was wearing designer sunglasses (at a glance, they looked fancy) and she had styled hair that was blondish and short. After I got my child situated in her seat and calmed down, I climbed back in my car and made a wide u-turn passing by where she had been parking. I stopped next to where she had been and saw that the discarded bottles were wine bottles. There were two unbroken bottles - small, I think you would call them single serving bottles of Sofia Blanc de Blancs by Francis Ford Coppola (I took a picture with my cell phone) and one small broken bottle of the same and two large broken bottles. One was severely broken and green tinted with a beige label that said Jepson and the other said Fransican, same green tinted bottle with beige label. My cell phone picture is not crystal clear.

***There is a good chance this could be a mother. Even so, she should not be driving and drinking! I am more inclined to think it to be a nanny, because why would a mother need to drink in a vehicle? Maybe she works for a SAHM.

44 comments:

NannyP said...

It was probably a mother who is hiding her drinking problem from her husband.

TC said...

Did you get her license plate? Or even a partial plate? If you do you need to contact the police ASAP.

bratz said...

your kid needs a spanking

SA said...

I agree with TC, did you get the license plate or even a partial?

Perhaps the restaurant did on a camera? Although I wouldn't know how you'd go about asking.

If you did or can manage to get that info, however little, you should contact the police for the sake of that boy!

worlds best nanny said...

You mind your child and let the wine bottle mommy/nanny mind hers.

mom said...

How sad. I'm with the others about contacting the police if you have any identifying information.

Jacqui said...

Alcoholics will drink anywhere, especially if they're trying to hide it (whether it be from family or employer)...regardless, mother or nanny, sad thing to see.

jada said...

worlds best nanny

....and to the kid be damned? Then what's the point of this whole site? We're supposed to be protecting children here. OP did the right thing reporting it and as others have said, I hope she got a plate # so she can turn it in. If it is the nanny, at least the family will be on notice and then do what they have to do to make sure their child is safe.

ATL Nanny said...

I'm with those who suggest calling the police if you got the license plate number. Whether this woman is the mother or the nanny, she's endangering these children and the police will take a call like this seriously. Not long ago, I called 911 because I saw two adults parked in a car smoking marijuana while a toddler played in the backseat. The dispatcher thanked me for calling and told me they consider any call where a child is being put at risk a high priority.

aml said...

Worlds best,

You never have anything intelligent to say, so why bother?

I would hope that if OP had the plate number she or he would have called the police right away instead of letting an innocent child sit passenger to a drunk driver.

Ha! said...

Did you see her drinking from the bottles or jut discarding empty ones? I live on a very busy corner and as a result all sorts of refuse ends up on my lawn. I pick up all manner of cans and bottles and often take them to the nearest dumpster to toss. (Including beer cans and wine bottles.) Sometimes I have my kids in the car. I never gave a second thought to how it must look but then again, my mind doesn't work that way.

quote said...

To Ha!

From OP:
"The woman in the passenger seat was throwing bottles out of her car. Now that I looked at her, she was swigging out of a small bottle."

Yes, she was drinking them.

mom said...

And ha, it may be very obvious by now, but th emoral fiber of any person who would be with my child during the day is very important. I think I owuld even want to know if my nanny was just discarding the trash by sitting inside the car and tossing bottles near a dumpster to break all over the sidewalk and potentially injur somebody...and at best make a big mess that some other person will have to come along and clean up after them. That's not waht I want my kids to learn is OK behavior.

But I believe this woman was getting a good drunk on, just as OP says

Philly Nanny said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Philly Nanny said...

An alcoholic mother would drink in a vehicle for several reasons, number 1 being that alcoholics drink anywhere and everywhere.

If you see someone drinking and driving, call the police right away. They take that stuff pretty seriously, especially if there's a kid in the car.

There's not much you can do now, since there's no way to prove she was drinking.

Curious said...

Totall off topic... What ever happened to UMass Slytheryn?

2 yrs new sobriety said...

I struggled with alcoholism for a year after I had my first child. It was a pathetic coping mechanism. I had been sober for 19 years before that. I used to stow my bottles in the car, so my husband could not see them and most days I would go out with the baby, run errands and discard my bottles (and pick up more, coincidentally, also wine). I never drank with the child in the car or actually never drank and drove at all after having the baby. Perhaps, this woman, mother, nanny was simply discarding her bottles. Let me tell you, the next day I drank water all day long. I had too. Maybe what you saw her sipping from was actually a water bottle?

Janey said...

You should have called the police at that time. A tantrum can wait a few minutes while you phone the cops to keep someone from driving drunk with a kid in the car.

!!! said...

I hope that the OP called the police. If not, I hope that the kid is safe.

worlds best nanny said...

To anyone busting on me. Most alkies hide their drinking. They hole up in the house away from the world. Then they find ways to discard their empties. I don't think it was a nanny, I think it was a mommy out doing errands. No matter which, it is still dangerous for the child. But I go with what I previously said you take care of your own, and from the sound of things you have no angelic wunderkind on you hands, and let mommy w/ the bottles take care of hers. Thank God I'm not your nanny because the first thing to go would be temper tantrums!

becker said...

OP did not know there was a child until the OP drove by.

Mich said...

Worlds Best Nanny,

This woman who drinks and drives with a little one in the car is obviously NOT taking care of anyone at all. She's actually putting herself,the child,the OP,the OP's child and many others in danger by drinking and driving. So anyone who sees this should not just "mind their own business" and not do anything about it.

puhleeze! said...

Oh, come on worlds best nanny! You can't tell me you've NEVER dealt with a kid having a temper tantrum! How do you know this wasn't a rare occurrence? Give me a friggin' break, girl!

mom said...

puhleeze,
thanks for sparing me the effort of writing exactly what you just did! Kids are kids, not science projects that you can magically make into a certain thing by adding the right ingredients...and they are all different. They act like kids sometimes...unless you keep them so friggin scared that they're terrified to let their emotions out.

worlds best nanny said...

Damn straight! Kids quickly learn there'll be no tantrums with me! You should see half the crap they pull with their parents that they'd never pull with me! You gotta get the upper hand with kids or they will walk all over you and next thing you know it a 4 year old is running your house!

mom said...

ok...worlds scariest nanny?

SA said...

mom,

"not science projects that you can magically make into a certain thing by adding the right ingredients"

What about the Powerpuff girls?

Just thought I'd add a little humor. :)

WTF? said...

LOL @ "world's scariest nanny", mom. Ain't that the truth!

Bratz, you need a ball gag and a job away from children.

OP, thansk for posting this. Too bad you couldn't get a plate number and call 911. No one should be risking a child's life by drinking and driving.

WTF? said...

*thanks

mom said...

WTF,
WTF? Two posts today from you that I agree with you on almost 100%?! Is this a plot to make my head explode or something?

WTF? said...

Mom, I only disagree with you when I actually disagree. I'm not just doing it to be combative. I agree with a lot of what you say, just not the whole conservative social agenda and such.

mom said...

OK, that makes sense...'cause I'm very conservative and will readily admit that I myself have somewhat of an intolerance for extremely liberal viewpoints...although I still try to be nice when at all possible. ;-) 'Cause I'm still willing to listen and maybe learn to appreciate something from another viewpoint...which has actually happened a time or two here before...but not typically during a combative "discussion"...which is another reason I try to be nice. (Not always successful at biting my tongue...but I never claimed to be perfect, so that leaves me quite a bit of leeway!!! hehehe)

Infuriating BS said...

these moms are hilarious. nannies who don't put up with temper tantrums are "scarey"? are you serious?

the truth is, children will behave better with a GOOD nanny than pushover parents because the kids actually respect them and don't give in to crying, whining and other forms of manipulation!

sorry this is off topic but it makes me so mad so see how some parents ruin their kids whole life by spoiling them and acting like they can't be touched or talked to sternly, even when they need it most.

oh, if my child pelts me with food i will calm her down gently and say,"that's not okay honey". never mind that it's completley disrespectful, wasteful and rude. i wouldn't want to scare my child by showing anger, or actually having a spine to demand respect.

never mind that it IS okay for children to actually be upset when you're upset at them.

i truly feel sorry kids who grow up under the dilusions you give them that they are little princes and princesses.

the worst is that when the child gets older and older, she will have no concepet of reality.

what do you think is going to happen to children whose parents don't ever let them just be upset and deal with the consquences? think about it.

well, let them enjoy it now because the rest of the world is not going to cater to them as they grow older.

Nanny Taxi said...

This is awful and I hate to admit it but I kind of agree with Worlds Best.

I have seen kids play their parents like a fiddle, but that same behavior would not fly with the nanny.

I remember 1 little girl I took care of, a well behaved 4 year old 'til mom came home then it was time to roll around on the floor and talk baby talk to mom, and mom bought right into it.

I've also seen families change their evening plans due to the whim of a toddler.

It is sort of sad. It may be an awful thing to say, but children should learn early in life that the world does not revolve around them.
End Rant.

mom said...

Infuriating BS,
Have you ever heard of a middle ground? Is there nothing at all you can fathom in childrearing between the extremes of a child NEVER having a NORMAL moment of crying or pitching a fit and them ending up being a self absorbed, spoiled brat or a prisoner?

My kids were very well behaved as little ones. They knew the rules and wanted to behave...mostly. But they were also real kids...which meant they occasionally cried, and we had a few of our own embarrassing in-public moments. It's called life. It is unreasonable to expect children to behave perfectly at all times, and I don't think its fair at all that people here are trying to make a sweeping judgment about OPs child or her parenting skills based on her child having had one tantrum.

If I had had a nanny, I would have wanted one who was able to look at the whole situatiuon and hande it accordingly, rather than take a single hard line tact for every single situation. Sure, its easier to intimidate a kid right up front so that you don't have to bother to figure out the nuance of how to mold them, or thinking about what lesson might be best learned in a partucular situation, instead of just pounding the fear of wrath into them so that they'll be afraid to do anything but plod along behind you silently and submissively. I think I have made my point here many times beofre that I am all for strong discipline and kids being taught absolutely what correct behavior is for each situation (and especailly that it is the responsibility of the parent/caregiver to remove the child promptly from any situation where they are unreasonably disturbing others during a tantrum, or behaving inappropriately), but when somebody boasts that a child in their care will never dare to have a childish moment, that sounds scary to me. Sounds slike something one might learn at the Nazi Nanny Academy.

Mom of Two said...

"There will be no tantrums with me."

Ha! You sound like my brother, the last of us to have kids in my immediate family. After watching my kids and my sister's son just be normal kids, who sometimes got wild, whined when they were tired, or overstimulated at Christmas, my brother would shake his head and say things like, "when I have kids, they will NOT behave like that." Giving my sister, mother and me a great laugh.

Lo and behold, it's his turn now and he ended up with the most independently minded child of all. It's called normal.

ALSO, kids most definitely behave differently for their caregivers than they do their parents. Newsflash! Parents and caregivers are not equal. I'm going to bet, World's Scariest Nanny, that should the day come that you have your own children, you will find that your relationship with them is not the same as it is with your charges. There will most certainly be tantrums, you can count on it.

mom said...

Oh, I forgot. To the person who asked on another thread about the "shaver" I use that pulls out the hair at the roots, it's called EmjoiOptima. I got it at Sharper Image so will now have to find a new place to get one (anybody know where to get them these days?)

At the suggestion of the salespeople at SI, I bought the $10.00 extended warranty and simply returned it for a new one every 18 months or so when it got dull. After the initial purchase of about $100.00, all I ever paid, year after year, was the $10.00 extended warranty. Cheaper than even buying disposable razors or razor blades! So anyway, if they have that service agreement option where you get yours, go for it because they do get dull after a while.

different name today said...

Someone said that most alkies hide their drinking from the world...

not exactly true.

My dad is an alcoholic (sober now for over 3 years), my father in law is an alcoholic (won't admit it), and my dad runs two halfway houses for men. I suppose they might like to think they are hiding it, but drunkness (which is the goal) lasts for a while, so even if no one actually sees them drinking, everyone knows that they are! My dad is a great person now, he would do (and does do) anything for anyone in need but... he would drink and drive a lot. He had liquor in the car; he would sneak off to the bar at a restaurant, say he was in the bathroom and drink multiple shots one after the other; he even told us later that he would go to the grocery store in the evening, go into the walk in beer cooler, drink an entire six pack and leave it there behind the stacks! My husband's dad won't admit there is a problem, but he pretty much has to drink every day. He usually starts at/before lunch- they drink beer in the office throughout the day. Whenever we go out to dinner, he will have upwards of 5 drinks, mixed drinks or beer, whatever. That's quite out in the open!

Anyway, some may try to hide the actual drinking, but they aren't all idiots- they know that everyone knows what they are doing, especially when they turn up at home stumbling around with a dazed look on their face. Especially when they "get sleepy" and pass out at all times of the day.

So to get to the point of the post, even if she wasn't actually drinking and driving while with a child, which it seems that she may have been... at the very least she was throwing bottles out of her car, not bothering to make sure they actually ended up in the dumpster so that someone else would have to clean up her shattered glass mess!

call the po-po said...

You should have called the police and given them the license plate! That woman was a danger to everyone on the road - including you and your child.

justdroppingby said...

lady, u should have called the cops when you had the chance. and to anyone who said she might not be the one who was drinking, its still a crime to litter and endanger others with broken glass. And worlds best, you need to rember this kid is young andsoetiesthey can get craky sometimes.

Anonymous said...
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my guess would be said...

I think this is a mother..........a nanny wouldnt and i repeat woulnt let you get beside her to take a pic, she would have left and not thrown the bottle there.

F. F. Coppola said...

Was it a 2007 Blanc de Blancs? If so then the woman should be reported for drinking such swill. 2005 was a much better year.

Anonymous said...

Mind your own blooming business, nosey. Bet you drink.