Thursday, January 22, 2009
If you are the individual who submitted this post through Meebo, please conact Jane as soon as possible. We have been contacted by the parent of this child who is in frantic need of additional details.
Received Wednesday, January 21, 2009
Every time I am here I see a neglectful, indifferent nanny. She is black with very long braids or dreads. She has very messed up teeth that stick out and criss cross and are yellow. Today she is wearing an elbow length, purple and white striped sweater with a zip-up grey vest. She sits with her friends every day, ignoring your daughter, who has light brown hair in a small ponytail and today wore pink pants and a black hoodie. She wanders around, completely ignored. Nanny also has large scar or oddly shaped mole on her right cheek.
37 comments:
How sad. This is just the type of nanny this site is intended to out. I hope the parents see.
maybe not the physical description, but the behavior you describe accounts for at least half of the nannies at that place. I think they should put a sign above that bench by the slide that says "nanny bench"
Good job, Miserly!
We need more proactive Parents.
That's...descriptive, not.
To: Miserly Bastard
From: Lynn
We moved out of the city but otherwise I would have been more than happy to help you out.....I'm not saying all nannies are bad, I've seen some great ones too, but as a former wohm, there is nothing like knowing for sure what kind of kind of care you nanny is delivering.
I am the mother of this child. Is there any way I can speak to you directly? Seeing this post is my worst nightmare come true. Thank you so much for posting and we WILL take action asap. Would love more details. i can be reached at grmbee@gmail.com. Thank you so much.
That's awesome the parents saw this. Parents, keep us updated on what happens!
Wow, can't wait to hear more about this one. Let's hope this poor excuse for a nanny gets the heave ho.
Hi, to the mother of this child: Sorry, just saw that you are looking to talk to me. I prefer to remain anonymous so created an anonymous yahoo email account and am about to send you an email. Please feel free to ask me any questions and I will do my best to answer them. Thank you for respecting my anonymity.
You're right, Lynn, but this nanny really stuck out because I have seen her several times now and I she is easy to describe. I am a nanny myself and am appalled at many of the nannies at Appleseed's, but I also see good ones too.
And yes, this nanny always sits on the bench by the slide. :o)
Vague much, are you kidding? This was a pretty thorough description. I swear, usually when someone dares mentionn the skin color of a nanny they are called "racist", and with THIS description you gripe about it being vague?
OP's description was good enough to get the attention of the Parent, which in the end is what we all want to happen, and I commend OP for stepping up.
I am the parent. I spoke to our nanny about this tonight- was completely open and honest. She denied it all. How do I handle this? I want to believe that she is as wonderful as she is when we're around, and hopefully this will serve as a wake up call to her, but how does one give a second chance when it concerns your child?
I would not take a second chance with this nanny. You have had a warning, most of us are not that lucky. Do count on your nanny to be super nanny for the next 3-10 days. That's it.
Gee
What did OP say? Why weren't you convinced enough to let your Nanny go? This decision will haunt you when your Nanny goes back to her neglectful ways and something happens to your daughter.
At the very least, you've been put on notice, and of course your Nanny is going to deny it, so you really need to have a friend follow her around. And I agree with "notsolucky", your Nanny will be on her p's and q's for the next 2 wks., then what???
OMG little girl's mom! Why won't you get rid of this Nanny? Is it worth taking a chance on your daughter's life? Of course she's going to lie! She doesn't want to lose her job! I'm just blown away here that someone steps forward for you and your little baby and you are going to do nothing about it!
i'm the little girl's mom and you are all right. I simply can't have any doubt. thank you all for your help and concern, and OP, a million thanks for stepping up and doing the right thing in keeping in touch with me.
To the Mother,
What a tough spot you are in!
Here's what you know:
your nanny has been repeatedly NEGLECTFUL in the eyes of others and has been called out on it. when you confronted her about what was seen she LIED.
Here's what you can do:
- ask your daughter how she likes her nanny and the things they do (assuming she is of age to answer).
- continue employing a sub-par nanny who you now are not 100% sure you trust.
- put her on probation. during this probation you can get nanny cams & have her begin filling out documentation notes about what she and your daughter are doing throughout the day. making her list times. i've done this for a family and believe me, tedious and not easy to fake.
- fire her. find and employ a wonderful new nanny who you can build trust with. believe me, there are a lot of out of work nannies out there.
But don't forget. This is YOUR DAUGHTER! Do you want to risk her safety? Her childhood? Do you want to chance what could happen from the neglect? I don't think you do. I think you know what you need to do. Now is not the time to be passive, now is not the time to do nothing.
Tough decision, follow your gut.
Parent - First I am so sorry you have to see your nanny on here. What a nightmare. Second - and I mean this in the nicest way possible - the OP of this nanny sighting says that your nanny lets your daughter wander around, and doesn't pay attention to her!! It's not just a matter of not being a good nanny, it's a matter of your child's safety.
There are good nannies out there. There are great nannies. Then there is your nanny and others like her. Please don't hold into account your nanny's feelings, she so obviously doesn't do the same for your daughter. This sighting should be solid proof. Start looking for a new nanny immediately and good luck.
I understand the mom being hesitant - this is an anonymous website. Maybe she is afraid that someone is just setting up her nanny. It is hard to fire someone based on internet hearsay. The OP did say she is another nanny - maybe one who isn't getting along w/ the nanny in question. But, if it were my child, I don't think I would take any chances.
Tough spot- i am indeed a nanny myself. Why does that automatically make me suspicious ? I have never spoken to the neglectful nanny and have no reason to want anything to happen to her. I have nothing to gain from her losing her job, i am steadily employed. I just felt bad for this little girl and thought the mom should be warned.
OP, Why didn't you post your new, anonymous email for the parent? There is nothing in doing that that will reveal your anonymity.
Shame on you for not following through.
I understand not using your name, but COME ON!
I would take a picture of my nanny to Appleseeds and talk to the staff there.
I would not allow nanny alone with a child until I was 100 percent certain the report was incorrect.
I read your last comment parent. I just hope that is true.
um jojobear- i have emailed back and forth with the mother since this evening, through my anonymous email address. I didn't post it here because I didn't want anyone else to email me. So shame on YOU for judging me.
Where did you post it so she could see it? I don't understand. And I apologize. It just seemed from reading the thread that you said you were and didn't.
I am probably not the only one who is confused. If you emailed back and fourth with the Mom and she still considered keeping the nanny= I think that's horrible.
However from the sounds of this nanny, her look isn't going to get her many jobs. Sounds like she would scare the crap out of children.
Jojo, you need to get some sleep and look at this with new eyes in the morning. OP made complete sense. Re-read, rinse, repeat.
Gee, you've been thrown a curve ball and want to believe. We all do in this type of situation. Take a step back and pretend it isn't you and you are just observing. What would you do?
Jojo
Once again dear, you are spouting off at the mouth. If you'll read the comments section, you'll notice that the MOM of this child left her e-mail for OP to get into contact with her. OP was just being kind and letting us know what was going on.
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From the little girl's Mom:
I am the mother of this child. Is there any way I can speak to you directly? Seeing this post is my worst nightmare come true. Thank you so much for posting and we WILL take action asap. Would love more details. i can be reached at grmbee@gmail.com. Thank you so much.
11:32 AM
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The last thing we need to do is bash OP for the incredible job she did coming forward to protect a child because then that will stop others from doing the same thing! OP had no motive whatsoever in reporting this, she did the right thing and I hope others will follow suit!
To Gee, It's hard for you to realize the reality here because it means that you trusted a person that you shouldn't have. It happens. It's like when people invest in someone, they trust them, respect them, etc, and then find out the person is actually a child molester (for example). It's always hard to believe that the person who you thought so highly of is also bad in certain ways. That is normal.
But the evidence seems very strong in the case of your nanny. I see so many nannies that are not warm and loving toward their charges. It is heartbreaking. You are not alone, in that I would say most mothers of such nannies have no clue that their children are not being well cared for.
But now you've been given some special knowledge. So you have a chance to do right by your kid. It's hard but you will eventually find someone much better to care for your kid. Good luck.
Gee-
This is your baby we're talking about. You are paying a woman to neglect and ignore your child. How is that okay with you?
I'm a stay at home mom and the thought of someone neglecting my kiddos makes me ill. Even now, while my little guy is snoozing next to me, I want to be close enough that he feels loved and wanted. Your child deserves to feel that way too.
gee,
I can see why it might be hard to take the word of a stranger...but that's the best we have to go on here. And it doesn't sound like a vendetta to me. The post seemed even keeled and to the point. When somebody is on a vendetta, they usually are very harsh toward the nanny and exceptionally unkind in their description...as in adding in mean personal comments about how she looks. Now, it does not sound like your nanny is particualrly attractive, but I still got that it was simply an impartial, factual description. The things she said about the nanny were bad, but not horrific. A liar would probably make up something sure to make even a negligent parent want to fire her. This is a nanny who frequents the same place and has her pick of any number of nannies to report on, but she chose YOURS, and no others to single out. She says oyur nanny is negligent. Go to the website for the Center for Missing and Exploited Children (I think that's what its called.) Get the statistics about how many children go missing in a day in this country (we never hear about the vast, vast majority of them.) The last statistic I heard a while back was that there are about 500 STRANGER ABDUCTIONS a year in this country. Thats almost one a month per state. Maybe that doesn't sound like a lot in comparison to the number of children out there...but tell that to each of those families who will never see their precious babies alive again. If it were my child, I wouldn't be willing to take even a small fraction of a chance that she was unsupervised even for a moment.
I wish you had spied on your nanny at Appleseeds first before confronting her. Then oyu would have an accurate picture of her true behavior...which, as people said, you are not going to get for a very long time now because she is on notice.
Go to the place and ask the staff. ask other people who are there if they are regulars and how nanny treats your girl. Or just let her go.
Gee
Haveing never been to Appleseeds I don't know if they have cameras but if so, perhaps they will be willing to show you the tapes. If they do not, and you are still undecided as to what to do then, perhaps you need to install one in your home even temporarily. As a former nanny myself I am not a fan of such a thing but in a situation such as this, if you are not planning on firing your nanny then you really should be getting some extra information and this may be one way to do it.
Gee, like others, I sympathize for your situation and commend you for taking action and trying to figure out what is best for your daughter. I cannot imagine getting a report like this - a concerned stranger versus your own eyes.
Like others have said, I would ask around at Appleseeds. I'd go beyond that though and ask other places your daughter and nanny go - any classes, museums, or playcenters? I don't know NYC very well - just from travel - but are you in an area where you could paste this posting on a board and see if any other parents have observed anything?
Also, if your daughter is verbal (not sure as she's described as wandering and it sounds like she isn't spending much time in school) ask her what she does with her nanny, in a conversational way. What are Nanny's favorite books to read together? What is Nanny's favorite game? Does Nanny like to go on the slide or see friends at Appleseeds?
You seem like a great parent who is attempting to be a considerate employer, although not at the expense of your child. Again, I commend you. If something turns out to be particularly productive in getting you information (e.g. talking to the store, videos, contacting moms from classes) please share with the group. I've been at classes where I've seen something a little wacky and wondered if it's a tired day or a pattern and would welcome the opportunity to help a kiddo out.
Hi Gee
Could you please update us and let us know what you decided to do? Did you go to Appleseed's and ask around about your nanny? Are you keeping her?
Sorry to be the one person who doesn't get it. I have never been to Appleseeds but I looked it up online. If this is an indoor play place place for kids, isn't it okay for the child to play while the nanny sits? I'm not saying the nanny was excellent for just sitting there, but I am not getting why it was so dangerous for the girl to play on her own.
Appleseeds will never talk bad about your nanny. This is bad business. DO NOT rely on Appleseeds staff to tell you the truth about your nanny!!!! They would get fired, trust me!
I am a nanny myself and I am always thrilled to hear from other parents on the playground, "Oh! You're his nanny? I thought you were his Mom!" Those of us who are actually committed to working with children, engaging them & caring for them like they are our own appreciate being noticed as such. There should be a website that is for reporting nannies who are seen being wonderful with your children in your absence! :-) "is this your nanny? Brown hair, glasses, wore jeans & a red t-shirt today with a little boy who wore overalls at Washington Sq park? Because she was awsome & the way she interacted with your child, I thought she was his Mom! Give this nanny a pat on the back!!!" Of course, I am joking, but there are as many wonderful nannies as there are bad ones:-)
I work at appleseeds and I see nannys like this all the time but unless I know the parents and can trust them enought to confide in them I cannot do anything about it. Although I have intervened in cases where the children need help and the nannys are being irresponsible.
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