Friday

Love the family but disgusted with the mess....

Received Friday, December 19, 2008
Perspective & Opinion I am a nanny for a great, hard working couple. He is a doctor, she is an attorney and they own several houses. So money is not the issue here, except they won't spend it. My contract reads that I am only to keep the daughter's area tidy and do her laundry, etc. I am to clean up after myself and my charge (I live in). And I do. It's sparkles, feels good, is beautiful and cozy. But truthfully, we spend so much time in the whole house especially with the winter weather. So I cannot stand to be here in the midst of a mess. And I mean a mess. I think I am the only one to ever clean the kitchen counters, the refrigerator stinks, and the bathrooms (other than mine) are filthy. So I clean. And clean and clean. I have suggested that they hire someone since they are so busy, and they agree. At the last minute they cancel because they don't want to spend the money. As well, they have 3 cats and there is cat hair everywhere. The dog is allowed on the furniture and always barks and wakes the child when she is sleeping.

Basically, I love the family but I am disgusted with the mess and the animals. She tries to do a little, but he does nothing but promise to help. She is in early pregnancy right now. He sounds like a loser, but he's not. He's a wonderful kind person. I feel this is an issue between them too, but I steer clear of that conflict. I am starting to feel resentful and I don't want to, because I love them and their little girl and I have become part of their family over the past 18 months. If I stop cleaning I get depressed in the disorder and grime. I cannot afford to move out so that is not an option. Has anyone else had this problem and what did you do to solve it?

Sign me,
Calling for Cleanliness

25 comments:

Anonymous said...

Well, you could always stop cleaning and try not to let the mess bother you. Eventually, they will clean or hire someone to clean! Other than that, tell them you want more money as you seem to be more of a housekeeper than a nanny!

Justine said...

I agree with Swiss Nanny. If your job entails more than what was described in the contract, then you need to be paid more.

Besides that, there's really nothing you can do about people living in messy situations. You signed up for the job, and unless things have gotten much worse, their cleanliness isn't what should be in question here.

I had to leave a family once because I was disgusted with the filth. Amongst other things as well, but I guess the lice infestation was the last straw.

Anonymous said...

Tell them (tactfully) that you can't stand it and if they don't hire a housekeeper you'll have to leave. They won't want to lose you so they'll bite the bullet.

Anonymous said...

You definately need to get paid more if your going to be doing the housekeeping. Another idea, as a Christmas gift, you could hire someone to come clean (it's as much a gift for yourself as them) one time and MAYBE they'll like how it looks, feels & smells and consider booking her to come back on a regular basis. Just a thought!

Anonymous said...

Boogers makes a great suggestion.

Otherwise, keep cleaning and put a smile on your face, or learn to ignore the mess and put a smile on your face. I think you probably keep the house clean just beyong the threshhold where they would realize they need a cleaning person. Why pay and extra person when you are doing it for free? If you stop and let it start to stink and crawl with mold and ants, they will find a way to get it clean.

Personally I would not spend five minutes cleaning their mess.

Anonymous said...

Why don't you suggest a pay raise to add some more cleaning (that you are already doing anyway) to your duties. If you stay at this job it will drive you crazy if you can't clean it up a bit more.

Anonymous said...
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Define normal please said...

OMG I FEEL YA im in the EXACT same boat. Its like the parents create more of a mess than the children. my contract states clean up after kids and Kids laundry. KIDS dishes. But i do it ALL..ALL THE TIME. parents will get food out and just leave it..and who cleans it all up ..me!!! i bust my butt all day cleaning up after them. its soo frustrating to clean all day. leave and be proud of your work for the day and walk in the the next morning and it looks worse than before. IM A NANNY not a parentkeeper!

Define normal please said...

and i also understand where op is coming from.. if you just stop all the cleaning that she's doing. (even though its wrong) the parents might think she is slacking off...wondering if shes slacking in the cleaning department she she slacking with the children too? like i said i know its wrong, but thats why i keep cleaning too!

Define normal please said...
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Anonymous said...

As for the dog barking and waking the children up, I have that problem too. Whenever my charge is sleeping, I have taken to crating the dog or trying to keep him outside. It mostly helps.

Anonymous said...

i didn't read all of the other comments so if this has already been said, ignore it. but honestly, don't you realize that as long as YOU clean their house basically FOR FREE, they're not going to go out and hire a house cleaner? that just seems like common sense to me....

Anonymous said...

They can't take advantage of you if you don't let them. Either ask for more pay for the cleaning or just let it get real good and rank in there for awhile... maybe they'll give up and pay you for the cleaning too, or start picking up after themselves.

Anonymous said...

Hide some uncooked shrimp in the heating ducts. Pretty soon that mess will stink to high heaven and they'll start to think they need to keep a better house...

The shrimp-stink trick gets em every time!

Anonymous said...

LMAO at shrimpers!!

Anonymous said...

I agree, stop cleaning. Its a pain to live with but they wont hire someone if your doing it for free.

Anonymous said...

While many say that if you stop cleaning, it will make them realize that they need a cleaner, I disagree. I'm betting that even if you stop cleaning, they will still not hire someone. Many people aren't willing to recognize their own filth. Trust me. I've worked for a handful of wealthy families and no matter what, they were all slobs. It would make me laugh to hear them talk about making sure I kept up with the kids stuff and my stuff, but they never led by example. Breakfast dishes covering the sink every morning, cars that you couldn't see the floor of, etc.

I'm hoping I'm wrong. Stop cleaning for a week (but make sure they know how dedicated you are to your job and how hard you are working in the things you are SUPPOSED to be doing) and see what happens.

Anonymous said...

"filthy rich", you sound a bit bitter.
Hating people because they are rich is no less offensive than looking down on the poor. It gets really old, let me tell you.

Anonymous said...

1) get some paper cups
2) put 1/3 -3/4 c. of mayo in each cup
3) microwave each cup for 30 seconds
4) hide said cups about the house.

Anonymous said...

All of you with the stinky recipes are scary! Shrimp? Cooked Mayo? My God, I hope this isn't a reflection on the kind of care you give to your charges.

Anonymous said...

I agree. Being destructive in your employer's home is juvenile and unprofessional. It doesn't sound to me that OP is childish and looking for revenge...she just wants some useful suggestions that and actual adult might try in order to improve her situation.

You know Jan, when tempted to do something like that, it might be best to stop yourself and repeat this to yourself, "My character is measured not by what I do when I know I am seen, but by what I do when I know nobody is watching." What kind of person do you want to be, Jen...really?

Anonymous said...

Ever heard of "Why buy the cow if you already get the milk for free?"

Stop cleaning for them for free, please!

In the mean time, save up your money and if they still don't hire a housekeeper, it may be time to pack your bags.

How is the house safe for children with a big mess anyways? IMO houses need to be pretty much spotless to keep the little ones safe. Otherwise there are a million things to put in their mouths.

Scary.

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

oops I forgot to put my moniker on the last post

Anonymous said...

RE-POST FOR EM:

Anonymous said...

I'm a firm believer in never starting to do certain things in the first place.
They leave it, I leave it, but of course it depends on how filthy the place gets. If I have to spot clean a particular area, I never let anybody see me.
As far as they know I won't lift a housekeeping finger, and I'd like to keep it that way.
I am a nanny and I do excellent work as a nanny
I'm guessing that people generally don't like to clean their refrigerator?
I mean I seriously clean mine every week, I don't get it, but none of them ever do, and the weekly/biweekly cleaning crew never does it. I don't think they are supposed to.

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