22 September, 2008

What Would Be The Ultimate Thank You?

Received Monday, September 22, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
This past weekend, our babysitter rescued our younger son from drowning. We are at a complete loss as to how to thank her--money seems trite, but maybe I'm wrong. Please let me know any and all ideas--I appreciate it!

34 comments:

TC said...

Anything you give will probably be greatly appreciated but I'm sure a nice handwritten thank you card along with something else will be treasured far more than anything monetary.

elizabeth said...

That's a hard one. How can you thank someone enough for something like that? A handwritten thank you note is a wonderful idea... and if you felt like that wasn't enough, a piece of jewellery would, I think, but nice. I agree that money would be kind of strange.

Emily said...

Perhaps something a bit on the life changing side, since she so positively changed your lives. Is she in college? You could give her cash & have it seem less trite if you did it the form of a scholarship for heroic service or something like that.

Also, since nannies usually only make news for terrible things, you could alert the local newspaper of what happened & they might tell of what she's done. Alternatively, you and your kids could create a "newspaper" of your own with your nannies story on the front page.

Rheannon said...

A think a nice handwritten letter expressing how thankful you all are, with a nice framed picture of your son, would be wonderful. (Maybe a picture of her and him together if you have one.)

I'm sure that she won't feel like it isn't enough no matter what, it does seem impossible to give someone enough thank yous after doing something so wonderful.

UmassSlytherin said...

I vote for emily's idea! it is newsworthy! also a nice note would be lovely. I'm very glad your child is ok!

nannyinmanhattan said...

I too agree with Emily, that framed photo is a no no, although what you rheannon, said after I agree with.

ericsmom said...

Public recognition is a great idea, as mentioned above.

How about a plane ticket to anywhere she would like to go for a week. Lets say she wants to visit friends in another state. Maybe, she would like to get away to Vegas, or Florida. I think that would be nice.

Just my thoughts

Anonymous said...
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Manhattan Nanny said...

Wow, I am so glad your son is OK, and kudos to you for hiring a capable nanny. A heart felt card or letter will mean a lot to her. As a nanny, I would say money is always welcome. You could say you would like to give her a bonus as a thank you. Another idea would be to ask someone who knows her, husband, roommate, if there is something she wants/needs, like a new computer, camera etc. Whatever you decide, it is your thoughtfulness that counts.

Yes, that Cristi said...

As a nanny, and as someone that appreciates the value of a well thought out thank you, I have to say that I am ashamed of the idea of some of the previous posters. A letter from your kids is great, a picture is a dear and precious thing, money is definately a way to show someone your appreciation in a tangible way.... none of this things fit the situation at all. This family almost lost one of the most precious things in their life, and they want to show their caregiver what they feel. These show appreciation, like for a birthday gift, not something of this level. This needs to be thought out and decided based on what will really touch her heart the way she touched theirs. But beware, the danger with thanking an employee is walking the line between seeming to diminish the value of the gift that they have given you by appearing to pay for it, and not showing enough appreciation, like giving a penny tip.

I agree with the ticket idea, IF it would be what she would really want.. something that would make her feel loved. Is she a Mom? send her and her children on a weekend to Disney or Universal Studios. Is she married with no kids? how about a trip to a resort for her and her husband? Is she struggling with debt?? offering to give her money or pay off some of her debts may be exactly what is called for..... The amount of money that you spend, I'm sure, is not the question, finding something that touches her heart can be really cheap though, and mean more than any check ever could.

I have worked for two families long term. Financially similar, the way they choose to thank me for my work was incredibly different. The first choose to give me major financial gifts for every milestone... Christmas, the birth of their youngest child (after the mother was bedridden for a while) , when I left. As I was in debt, this was a very appropriate gift for me, but without their approbation it would have felt like being paid off. The second family never gave me financial gifts of any size, their way of thanking me was pictures of the children (which i was slightly insulted by, what is that saying to me?) and sending me flowers, small gifts and by showing me their appreciation by including me in the family. To be honest, receiving those flowers was wonderful, a wonderful beautiful surprise that I enjoyed even when I knew it was coming. The value of each gift was in the givers knowing what would really touch my heart.

Let us know what you decide, I am really curious, and I wish you luck :D

Alex said...

I am so glad your son is okay. I do disagree with rheannon though, saything that whatever you give she will not think is enough. She was doing her job and saved your son. You hired a capable nanny who obviously takes her job seriously. She (and this is just my opinion) will probably not be expecting anything since anyone who has any sense would save a child they saw drowning. She just may think that she was doing what anyone would do.

That being said, I definitely think your gift should be heartfelt and something that you know she needs, wants etc. I agree that a trip is a great idea. Is there any place you know she wants to go? or things to do? I also think a heartfelt letter from you and if your son is old enough one from him, or a picture from him. I think anything you can give her from the heart will be loved.

gimmeabreak said...

Wow-now that's a nanny! I would buy her a car!

anonymous1 said...

how about a week long cruise?

mom said...

I agree witht he people who say to find a way to touch her heart. No amount of money can repay what she did.

And as for the poster people are upset with. I think she was saying the opposite of how it sounded. I had to read it twice myself. I thought, after a couple of readings, that she must mean that the nanny is not going to feel slighted no matter what the gift...not that she won't think anything is adequate payment. I'm sure nanny was doing her job, and also just acting like a normal human being would hope to act in that situation. I doubt she actually expects to be rewarded for saving him, so she will probably be touched by your thoughtfulness...especially if you make the gift a gift from the heart.

Nanny in New Jersey said...

I'm really glad your son is okay. I would say to give her something that she could cherish with her forever. Perhaps a locket with your sons picture and a beautiful thank you note. Or perhaps giving her an angel pin of some sort along with a beautiful thank you note and a pic of your son. Let your child hand it to her if he is able to do at his age.

Anonymous said...
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7:35 RE-POST for anonymous said...

I like a lot of the ideas already posted. I think that nothing is going to be quite adequate without the sentiment behind it, and conversely nothing will be inadequate if you take pains to express the sentiment behind your gift. I think a letter along with whatever you decide to give her coupled with some passionate expression from you when you give it to her will be enough to make her feel your appreciation. After all it’s not like she doesn’t KNOW you appreciate what she did... it was kind of huge... it’s her seeing you make the effort to SHOW her just how much that will be the gift.

7:35 AM
RE-POST for Anonymous

Metronanny said...

Money would be a strange but an extra paid week off might be a nice gesture.

gimmeabreak said...

Ooh, here's another idea, how about a nice paid vacation to someplace she would enjoy?

Shades of Grey said...

No offense, but I am a nanny for a boy I love like he's my own. I see him about 10 hours a day, 5-6 days a week. I don't need a framed photo of him. This doesn't mean I don't love him, but these people who are suggesting a framed photo of their kid are sort of clueless. Give her something she can use, like a paid WEEK OFF!!!

JerseyXJacqui said...

Wait...I think it's amazing this nanny saved your son from drowning...and I am so glad he is ok...but umm...that's our job. I don't think I'd expect anything, except a lot of verbal and maybe written gratitude (I think alerting local media to it would be perfect, especially with all the negative nanny stories out there)...perhaps a new level of working respect...I doubt I'd be able to accept money or a vacation though.

That's not to say I don't think it's extremely kind of you to consider a monetary type gift, OP. I'm not shunning yours OR the commentors generosity and I'm not saying you shouldn't give back in that manner..it's just not something I would expect.

timmi said...

I call BS on this post and the other one hazard pay. Isn't it a bit coincidental that there are two employers looking to show their appreciation to their nanny on the same day?

puhleeze.

kathleencares said...

I like the trip idea. I'm sure she would appreciate that!

chick said...

You can't put a price tag on what she did, and it seems logical to first thank her profusely while acknowledging the inadequacy of financial reward. Then, you give her a reward anyway. If I were in an income bracket to have a nanny, I would write and give the following:

Dearest Nanny,

Our entire family is indebted to you in a way that we can never repay. Our son is priceless, and we are so very grateful that you were there at the moment he most needed your help.

No present and no amount of money is adequate to express our thanks and appreciation. However, we feel very strongly that you deserve a material thank you. We are going to offer you an extra week off with pay, $X ($1500? $2000?) that you can use for a vacation if you desire, plus another $X ($5000?) for you to use for anything you want or need.

We will never forget what you did for our child and our family. You have always been a true treasure, and your actions showed us all over again what a fantastic person you are.

With eternal gratitude,

X Family

Rheannon said...

**shrugs**

The best gift I ever got was a framed picture of me and the little boy I cared for, for over a year. I got it as a thank you for something *slightly* similar.

I received more gifts and presents from this family than I can remember, and the only thing I still have sitting out and see daily, is the picture of me and him.

Maybe I'm just overly sentimental? That's pretty likely, I've been told so before. But I would NEVER accept money for something like this. If someone tried to force it on me, I'd take it and then leave it on their bedroom dresser the next work day. But a nice picture with a frame he paints and a little note, the perfect thing to get it across.

(and wow I wrote that last post weird. I meant, she isn't going to turn around and think that she didn't get something good enough in return.)

Pearl said...

I'm so glad that your son is OK. I'm sure she will appreciate whatever gift you give her, but, maybe she will treasure more a handwritten card from you, or most especially from your son - if he can already make a simple card by himself or just some scribbles. Thanks...

formernanny said...

A friend once gave me a bracelet from Tiffany for helping her with a big issue. I though that was in really good taste. I also like the idea of helping ehr with some life experience like an adventure vacation or college expenses.

your supervisor said...

OP,
I think jewelry is the best idea. I think this because it will be something she will hopefully have with her forever and it will always remind her of yoru children and your thoughtfulness. It need not be extravagant.

the update cow said...

OP,
WHAT did you decide to do?
PLEASE update us.
We are all eager to know.

annoyed said...

Cow indeed. You are so annoying. Did you have to ask that question on every single damn post?

go away please said...

annoyed..did you not "get" the moniker? Of coures that is the whole purpose behind the post .
relax..
why is it so bothersome to you anyhow?

paperbagprincess said...

Oh yes, paid week off! Time is best gift!! I liked the plane ticket idea too. Money even - of course it's inadequate, but let's be honest, who doesn't appreciate getting it? Especially if its given in a 'please use this to get yourself something special' context. If she's the spa sort there is always the spa day extravaganza (plus a friend?) but some people aren't into the spa thing at all. I don't want to be mean to whoever suggested it, but a framed picture - I agree, the PITS. Nothing says a 'its all about you' than a a picture of someone else...
(:

Sounds like you have a wonderful nanny whose given you the greatest gift she possibly could have!!

annoyed said...

Go away/update cow
BECAUSE! you said virtually the SAME thing on EVERY other thread. It was tiresome to read. I would liken it to being SPAMMED!!!!

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