How Much Time At Daycare Is Too Much?
Since I put my 2-year-old daughter in Japan’s public day-care system a year and a half ago, I haven’t had many complaints. The standards are high, there are plenty of loving care providers around, and my daughter seems to love the constant array of activities they provide, as I describe in a Wall Street Journal article today.
The center we use is also open until 8:15 p.m., far longer than most U.S. day-cares, which usually close between 5 p.m. and 6 p.m. While that’s a great convenience for parents like myself who work long hours, it also raises the question: How much time at day-care is too much?
Whether It's With A Nanny Or In A Daycare Setting .... Your Thoughts?
25 comments:
My 2 year olds just started a preschool program. It's 1.5 hours. They say any longer is too much for them. If 1.5 is long enough for preschool than I can only imagine what day care kids experience on a day to day basis. I know this isn't the "popular" view, but ... just a thought!
I think a lot of great things happen in daycare. To say more than an hour and a half of child care is "too much for them" is not very accurate or scientific. Who is "they" anyway? They say? Who says?
Quality childcare is a neccesity right now, and we should all be advocates for it. Is it in an infant's or a preschooler's best interest to be away from their parents for up to 12 hours a day or more? Well, it depends I guess. Are the parents idiots? Maybe it is better for them. You do have to ask yourself why have kids if your child is in childcare for the whole of the day, and you pick them up at bedtime. But we must take into consideration that there are many many different circumstances surrounding why people need childcare.
To say that more than an hour and a half of childcare is "too much" is pretty silly in my opinion. But if "they" are saying it, then maybe it's true.
:)
I think 1 1/2 hrs is great. I mean, they need to start being socialized at that age anyway, and a great daycare is the perfect place to do it if there are no siblings or other alternatives.
However, I feel bad for those kids that are dropped off at 7am to 5pm. That's way too much.
I understand that parents have to work, but being away from home all day has to have some kind of negative effect. Doesn't it then cause issues with comfort and security?
I think you do what you have to do. I know many sahms who suck as parents. They are lazy, boring, not creative and honestly their kids would be better off in daycare. On the same token, I know parents who have very high-pressure jobs with long hours and enjoy the lifestyle they lead too much to not put their kids in daycare.
We should all rally for quality childcare so that the childcare that is offered is a nurturing, loving environment so that the children can be provided with that comfort.
No need to "feel bad for" kids who are in childcare: there are many reasons why they are in it. I personally am now in a position where I am a single mom. My child will soon have to start childcare, most likely full time. Should you feel bad for my child? Should you feel bad for my child because she has a mom who was strong enough to get out of an abusive situation and support her family on her own? No, I don't think so. It is very ignorant in my opinion to throw around the phrase "I feel bad for this child or that child." You don't know everyone's situation.
anonreg
Of course each situation is different, but I am allowed to feel for a child if I choose to do so, even if there are extenuating circumstances such as yours.
I'm glad you've chosen to get out of a bad relationship, and I'm quite sure the long(er) hours at daycare would be a much needed respite for this child when compared to any abuse (s)he may have witnessed from dad.
Good luck to you.
no name,
I don't think you mean at all to sound superior and pretentious. But to be honest you do. It's just a good rule of thumb to be kind and open-minded in how you choose your words. A little tact goes a long way.
Good luck to you.
I sound superior and pretentious? Wow. How's that? That is so far from me and how I am. I don't get what it was I said that made you feel that way. I don't think there's anything wrong with my saying I have a heart for kids that spend all day long in daycare, so if it makes me sound superior and pretentious to say that, then so be it. I'm sorry you feel that way.
You wrote:
"I'm glad you've chosen to get out of a bad relationship, and I'm quite sure the long(er) hours at daycare would be a much needed respite for this child when compared to any abuse (s)he may have witnessed from dad.
Good luck to you."
Doesn't sound very warm and fuzzy to me.
O.k. then, I digress. My apologies. I didn't realize that would be offensive. And I do hope all of these moniker changes are from the same person, otherwise, this whole conversation is meaningless.
your apology is accepted, you tactless woman you.
I too feel sorry for kids left at daycare all day. And I am talking about from 7-6pm. By the time they get home, they don't get a chance to just relax. More likely the parents have to get dinner together, give baths, etc. Its just my opinion or feelings.
But I know not everyone has a choice, and more likely it kills them to leave their kids all day.
I am looking for a part-time job, where I can work 3 days a week. Its hard finding a job with the hours I want. I thought I could work from 9-2. My son could go to nursey school from 8-3. I think that will even be pushing it.
Here we go again. Why do we have to start drama on here. I guess theres always a couple of anal people that troll around.
There are always people out there that will start drama everywhere they go, its just in their blood they like the attention is my guess.
Not trolling, not trying to create drama or get attention ... just answering the OP's question and giving an honest opinion. I know it hurts sometimes to hear opinions you don't agree with or don't want to hear. Bottom line is, I think daycare is hard on kids. I know many parents have no choice, but there are many many others who have the choice and will say anything to justify it, and it's the child who pays the price.
I run an in-home daycare and care for up to 8 children (I have 7 enrolled currently including my own 2 year old). These children are safe, secure and know they are loved. They all grew up together and play like brothers and sisters. I know not all childcare is like that but I also know that my kids need no pity. They are in the best environment they can be in other than with family.
I worked in a center for 9 years and I always felt bad for the kids who were there longer than I was. Some kids were there for 10 hours! They would see 2 shifts of teachers.
From my experience the majority of the children that are there those long days have behavioral issues.
Cares, you are so not trolling, and I don't think that comment was meant for you! You're the one who got the ball rolling, and I thought your post was great!
I worked at the YMCA for 3 months as front desk rep and I got to watch parents drop their kids off and pick them off from day care every single day. I must say those kids weren't happy going there after few days, every single day was samething and some would stop cooperating (as mentioned above 'behavioural problems'). I suggest the least amount of time at the day care and spending more time with your kids.
By first grade, the majority of Children are attending school full-time (the most common time frame for elementary school age children to be in school in America is from 8 am to 3 p.m.) you do the math for how long they are "away from home" and in school. How is daycare so incredibly different? Can some daycares prepare a child in a positive manner for the school environment and/or setting? Is daycare preparation for the future? (i.e: schooling is typically around a 7 hour day, work is typically around an 8 hour day.) How does placing your youngster in a learning based daycare differ/similar to placing them into a "regular" school?
Choose your daycare wisely, and it shouldn't be a hindrance to your child, but a blessing. Of course, if you have the luxury to stay at home with your child, by all means do so, but that is not to say that in the proper childcare environment a child can not, or will not flourish. Ask yourself questions regarding your child and their personality before making a decision. Is your child ready to be a way from home for such long hours? What type of daycare would best suits your child (i.e: play based, learning based, art based etc?) If your child needs a more "secure" at home environment, perhaps a nanny is a better option. Yet, either way, I've yet to come across a statistic that proves negative lasting effects from any credited daycare facilities, at least not any more so than the negative (and positive) effects we see occur from regular schooling. Behavioral problems (due to neglect) will show up in children whether they are in school, or in a daycare...the answer is simple: be there for you children as much as humanly possible, and make an informed decission on any matter that regards their destiny.
My daughter, who is now in Kindergarten, has been in child care since the age of 6 months. I supppose that was my "choice" for her, but it was also my "choice" to put a roof over her head, and food on her table. ( Yes, I know, it was my "choice" to have her, although she was a complete surprise, the best I have ever had in my life!) Frankly, she was obviously bored by six months, and we did indeed go on creative outings, read books, played for hours, got sufficient sleep, the works. I was very lucky in my choice of child care. It was actually my second choice, but when I saw how my daughter was flourishing there, I kept her there. She has grown into a wonderful child, polite, considerate, creative, (well of course, a paragon of virtue considering that she's mine!) but my point is that each person has a different set of circumstances. In my case, child care was a sound choice, as it was supplemented with much love, care, time, and attention at home. Her Kindergarten teacher has said that she is a joy to have in the classroom. She gets along very well with her peers. I give some of the credit to us, her parents, but a good deal goes to her loving caretakers at her former childcare. Most of the credit goes to her!
BTW, I just want to say how much I love this board. I like the differing opinions. I really love the regular commenters, and have a soft spot for UMass. PS Where has "Does this moniker make my butt look big" go?
thank you fido for your kind words. I too am an advocate for quality childcare. I appreciated your post and your point of view. I think wonderful things happen in daycare, if the place is a quality establishment with quality care providers. The bottom line is that we are all responsible for our choices and that we as women should support each other and offer kindness, understanding and care. To assume that a parent who relies on childcare is less of a parent than one who does not, or to assume that a child who attends childcare is less of a child than one who stays home, is simply misguided.
When the youngest was in day care she used to make her Dad move faster in the morning because they were doing certain things that day. Painting, clay work , swimming and so kuch more. She knew how to copunt and read by age of three because the people at the day care read with them and to them. Sure I would have loved to be a SAHM but it is not possible. Parents can still have quality time wiht their kids. I used to spend saturdays making up a weeks worht of meals that I could store and when we got home we popped them in the oven and discussed what she had done that day. We went shopping on weekends or pony rides or whatever she wanted to do. Weekends you lay in bed with them for a while and read together or watch their favorite movie.
Day care is a necessity for many people but we still have time to be with out kids.
Extended yhyours are great if you work for 10 to 6 or 11 to 8. Just because the hours they are opne are longer doens't mean those kids are there 12 hours a day. It means that they are better hours for working parents that do not work from 8 to 430.
8:15 is great for some, but really, shouldn't kids be home, tucked in bed by 8:15? I can't imagine leaving a kid in day care for an entire day!
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