Thursday

Woman mortified over treatment daughters received

Received Thursday, August 21, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
I feel so helpless over what I witnessed yesterday. I work in a clothing boutique and a mother came in the store with her children. Her daughters were both beautiful. They were shopping for some going away clothing and back to school clothing. A nanny accompanied them all. The girls were very pretty. Neither were fat. One had a slight stomach on her, however-I wouldn't have noticed it if the mother hadn't lit into her about it. The mother mocked both of the daughters all through the trying on session. Both daughters begged for privacy and the mother not only invaded their privacy to insult them, "too tight", "you''ll never pull it off", "it will only be two weeks before you gain back all the weight you lost at camp", but the mother kept pointing at her daughters in the outfits that they were trying on. Pointing them out to me and the nanny. The daughters were not at all times completely dressed. I attempted to continue eschewing the mother to keep the doors closed as I was worried about other customers.

I was mortified by this woman's horrible behavior. She was clearly jealous of both girls. The mother was coiffed to the nines and couldn't take her eyes off of herself but the nanny did nothing. I made eye contact with her more than once and she just had a dead look in her eyes. Isn't she a mandated reporter? Isn't this abusive? Or is is she just trying to not make waves? Should I have reported her? And what is the deal with nannies that stand by and let children be subjected to that sort of treatment? I think there must be a special place in hell for people who could speak up and stop abuse and don't. What gives?

79 comments:

my two cents said...

OP, I don't think you can blame the nanny for the mother's bad behavior, and I do not know if this kind of abuse can easily be reported. If she is trying to counter the mom's influence she is probably not going to do it to her face and in a store. How old were the children? I am not sure what you could have done to help. Maybe complimenting the mother (on her hairdo or anything really) could have helped shift the focus away from the children. Maybe she is jealous, maybe she feels insecure and projects it on her children. This is really a bad mom sighting.

UmassSlytherin said...

I agree, my two cents. This is abusive, cruel behavior but I doubt you could have reported it and expect to see any results. What would you say? "Officer, I want to report a mother who is hurting her child's self-esteem."? They would hang up on you, I'm afraid.

As far as the nanny's responsibility to do anything, you have no idea of the situation or the nanny's life situation or why she is working this job or really anything at all except the fact that this mom is a bitch.

They don't take your teenagers away from you if you are calling them fat. It just doesn't happen. It's sad, because that is abusive, in my opinion. But I think, OP, the best you can hope for is that the mother in your post reads this and thinks twice about the way people view her and about the way she treats her daughters. That is about the best you can hope for. You're right: it is mortifying. Horrible, horrible behavior. So sad.

cfg said...

I think Umass pretty much summed it up. But I do have to wonder if this nanny had this "dead look in her eyes" if she isn't being victimized also? I've seen it more than once, but she won't quit because she really needs this job.

I wish we could tie this mother to a chair and have a bunch of people standing in line make pot-shots at her and see what it does to her self-esteem. I bet she'll never insult her kids again.

nannyinmanhattan said...

I was thinking the exact same thing. The nanny didn't say anything because maybe she too is victimized and is in need of her job.
People who purposely lower people's self esteem usually have low self esteem themselves, or maybe this mother is just wicked.

TC said...

Yes you are required by law to report abuse but sadly this sort of abuse probably wont be investigated. If it was physical or sexual abuse or the children were being neglected they would investigate but it's doubtful they will investigate emotional abuse.

Your comment about the nanny going to hell is way off and wrong, by the same token wouldn't YOU be subjected to hell? Didn't YOU witness it too? Couldn't YOU have reported it just as well as the nanny? Couldn't YOU have spoken up for the kids?

Her poor children will have self esteem issues for a life time and there is a big chance they will develop an eating disorder because of their mother.

Janet English said...

The jealous mom who picks on her kids "flaws"- in her opinion at least. Wow. Pretty sad.

Why would you do this to your daughters?

I think the nanny just stands by because:

A) she doesn't care

Or B) she needs the money desperately and can't risk being fired.

Maybe she is good to the kids when she gets home and mom is not around. Hopefully she tries to undo the damage. But there really isn't much that she can do.

OP said...

I am sorry, let me correcta few points in my post.
The two girls did not appear to be yet teenagers, but they were close, perhaps between 10-13.

The nanny didn't say anything to correct the mother or even appear shocked, but the mother thought that everything she saidwas funny. Half of the time the nanny laughed or said, 'that's true".

I don't buy this nanny as a victim. You're saying she should stick to her job and aid in the systematic abuse of two young children just for a paycheck? So because you need a job it's okay to do anything; bookie, hitman, testing chemicals on soldiers, selling lead based toys.... Is that your argument?

I have an alternate theory and that is this nanny must be unhirable. Why else would she stay and be a part of something so sickening?

The suggestion that I should have complimented the mother's hair? Are you kidding me?

For a blog about children's needs, some of you will go through great lengths to coddle the abusive caregivers and parents that are reported here.

I am a salesclerk. I didn't laugh at her jokes. I looked at her the whole time like I didn't quite understand her and I was continually corrective of the comments she made to her daughters. Not only did she insult them, their weight and appearance, but when the older tried on a shirt meant for someone much older, the mother praised her and told her how sexy she looked.

Talk about mixed messages.

DowntoEarth said...

Well since we do not kow anything about the nanny I guess I won't be slicinf her up. I am sure when they get alone she comforts them. What do you want this nanny to say? Confont the mother in the store and cause a scene and get fried and the girls will have no one to talk to about their feelings? The nanny probably was blocking her own reaction to what that sorry excuse for a mother was doing. BY telling that girl she looked sexy in that blouse that doorknob was probably thinking that this was the way to get the kid to lose or keep off weight.
I would bet tht MOM had been fat when she was a kid and her mother did the same hateful thing to her.
I had a friend who had a beautiful mother who kept telling her she got her genes from her fathers side and then would say "such a shame" that certainly helped her self esteem. People can be aholes to their kids and there is just nothing we can do about this kind of abuse but someday Mommy is going to pay for her abuse.

TOO BIG... said...

OP, it might have helped if you had given all the details in your original post. Nowhere in the entry does it say that laughed or agreed with the mother, in response to her mocking. So don't lash out at people here just because you forgot to provide all the details. And I have to say, if you really think the nanny is going to hell, same goes for you. You witnessed the mistreatment of those poor girls just as much as she did. And don't give me any guff about "it's not my place"--it's not the nanny's place, either. Yeah, if she was laughing with the mom I think that makes her a bad childcare provider. But she is still an employee. This is a legitimate posting but I think you are a little too big for your britches.

TOO BIG... said...

ETA- Nowhere does it say that the NANNY laughed and agreed with the mother.

UmassSlytherin said...

OP: do you know this nanny? just curious.

lovesthegirls said...

First of all, I agree. It IS abuse. Mental, anyhow. Blamind the nany however? NOT fair! And how do you know it was the nanny? Maybe it was an auntie? Older sister? Neither here nor there I suppose. Op, while I agree that it is HORRIBLE to treat a child's self-esteem badly and it has JUST as many life time effects as physical abus does, reporting it would have been laughed RIGHT out of CPS. Nothing anyone ca do, but tell the girls themselves that they are AMAZING and wonderful people, and their purpose on Earth is priceless. As for your last few coments. Please don't blame the nanny. Lastly, you said "I think there must be a special place in hell for people who could speak up and stop abuse and don't. What gives." Is it correct to presume you did not rush to the phone to contac the authorities???? I am NOT attacking yo, because I understand how sad you are... and on that note encourage you to get into the childcare industry because you clearly have a heart for it, but please don't throw stones in glass houses either.. do you know what I mean? :)

MissDee said...

I think this mother was out of line. Many of you know my story, and how I suffer from epilepsy, and that my own father told me that I wouldn't be anything when I was child. I was constantly told that I wasn't doing my best and that I could do better. I was told I wouldn't be able to drive a car, hold a job or get good grades, and guess what? I do all three and do them very well. The comments that this woman was making to these girls sounded like abuse to me, and if it is abuse, these girls will issues when they get older. Let's put oil on the mother's "dressed to the nines" look. See how she feels when people talk about her. *LOL*

ro said...

I'm disgusted by the comments left here. Are these nannies? Sickening. Just sickening. You should all be ashamed of yourselves. She is a mandated reporter. Emotional abuse most certainly IS ABUSE and the last thing she should be doing is joining in the abuse. (Saying "that's true"). Don't you dare suppose that this stick of mud is somehow and advocate for the children when Satan isnt around. The nanny was dead wrong. The shopkeeper and salesperson were also wrong. Who are you all afraid of? This piece of shit scumbag who gets off by knocking her own flesh and blood? I would have said something. I would never nanny for a person like this and I don't care what the pay is. I have too much of a conscience and too big of a heart to spend my time next to such a demon. It would most definitely hurt me to be around this. If I was the salesperson I would have stoopd up for the children and stood up to the nanny and stood up to the mother.

I hate cowards.

Umass, go start a new blog. Call it cowards are us.

cfg said...

Ok, now I'm pissed.

"The nanny didn't say anything to correct the mother or even appear shocked, but the mother thought that everything she said was funny. Half of the time the nanny laughed or said, 'that's true"."
- OP

I really hate it when someone leaves a sighting, only to come back later and fill us all in on the details. That's something you should've thought to do when you wrote this. You didn't even think to give us the daughter's ages. So after we've all tried to fill in the holes, and make all kind of assumptions, don't come back now and say:

"For a blog about children's needs, some of you will go through great lengths to coddle the abusive caregivers and parents that are reported here." - OP

All I can say to that is, how fucking dare you. The posters here, most of them anyway, abhor abusive mothers and nannies, so don't go shooting off your mouth about what we or this site stand for!

Hollywood Nanny said...

Ro, what on earth are you talking about? So an overworked CFS case worker trying to find foster homes for kids who have been starved, beaten and raped is going to rush to the mall to protect these girl's self esteem? Oh, please!

While I completly agree that the behavior is abusive, the fact is that unfortunately, currently there is no federal Tyra Banks Self Esteem Army to arrest crappy moms.

ain't biting said...

Really, OP. The only reference made to the nanny was she had, "dead eyes". I'm not surprised some people here thought the nanny may have been victimized.
I think you're full of crap myself.

ain't biting said...

Oh yeah, I forgot. Ro - why the hell would you single out umass? Just about every other person here was in the same neighborhood with their opinion.
Not cool.

lauren said...

hollywood nanny,
what are you talking about? Do you know anything about how DFC works? Noone rushes anywhere sirens blazing to investigate a case of a child being burned with matches, so of course they would not respond to emotional abuse. But that doesn't mean that anyone who encounters abuse does the most possible they can do for the abused. In this case, it would be to speak up for the abuser and make a report. In cased you didn't know, many reports do not deem needing to be investigated. But maybe if everyone who saw the abuse reported it, they might notice a pattern of abuse and while not physical, is nonetheless debilitating an equally abusive.

outed in philly said...

As the OP of a P&O post, I can tell you that submitting a post is much easier if you do it by email. It's hard to use a small window like this or like meebos. So I compromised my privacy and used my email. I wanted to be able to spellcheck my submission and punctuate it props!

TC said...

OP did the mother buy any clothes for the children? How did she pay? Cash, credit, or check?

If she paid by credit or check then it would have her name on it and YOU should report her. You can not jump on a nanny for not reporting something that you are just as responsible for reporting. YOU witnessed what was going on so YOU should report her if you feel so strongly about it.

Marypoppin'pills said...

Outed in Philly
Please do not be concerned. Yes, a Submission is much easier to retrieve from an E-mail, but as soon as it is posted, all traces of it are Deleted.

UmassSlytherin said...

Ro,
I don't really understand why you attacked me, but in any case I do not think it is fair to attack me personally for an opinion that many here obviously share. I do agree that this mother is in the wrong. But OP's original post, not her update, leads me to believe that the nanny should call child protective services: it will do no good.

Also, you insult about "go start a blog called cowards are us" is not only rude, but it's not really that funny, imo. It was sort of lame, to be honest.

UmassSlytherin said...

***meant to say "neither OP's original post NOR her update leads me to believe..."

:)

ML mom of 2 said...

Imust wonder if this happened in the mainline area. I know a woman who fits this description to a T. Everyone knows she is a bitch to her children and if you think the two oldest have it bad, let me tell you there is a younger daughter who is about 8 years old. She has cerebral palsy and in recent years began to use a wheelchair. The mother never bonded with the little girl and would make abusive comments to her (that she thought were funny). For example in the midst of a sea of parents holding a bake sale for a student race, she thanked her daughter with CP for "not costing her a fortune in running shoes". Every parent just sucked in their breath or dropped their jaws. No one knew what to say and so they said nothing. The nanny is usually never with the two older girls but takes care of the daughter with CP all the time. They don't take her on vacation or even to a picnic because the mother cannot be bothered with the chair. The nanny vehicle has the travel chair in it, never the mothers.

I am sharing this with you because I think it is the same awful woman (and her daughters both have serious emotional problems because of mother's behaior). Her eldest daughter has horrified some mothers with the slutty clothing she has worn to dances and birthday parties. I've never seen them out shopping but the mother is known for dressing like a whorish teenager, wholly inappropriate in our tight knit community.

The only thing I know of the nanny is that she (according to rumors) is the only person who attends the youngest daughter's school functions, takes her shopping our out to dinner.

It's a very, very sad situation.

I implore you, whether or not we speak of the same woman, to please make a report. If not for the sake of the older girls, than for the sake of the youngest daughter. The father has relatives very nearby who would love to take care of the little girl.

outed in philly said...

MPP-
You misunderstood what I said. I think the OPs can sometimes be attacked because of the content of their post. All I am saying is that using meebo is like texting someone. It's a great tool, but your details get broken up and if you are writing as you go, it's hard to be fluid when you have to hit send every 10 seconds or so. In other words, stop being so hard on the OPS and the people posting sightings! Until you have done it yourself!

Marypoppin'pills said...

I understand 'Outed in Philly', and I agree.

"So I compromised my privacy and used my email."

But when you made that statement above, I just wanted to assure you, and anyone else that sends a Sighting through E-mail, that it gets Deleted.

cali mom said...

TC, you said it very well in both your posts. OP, please report this, on the off chance that CPS *DOES* do something about it. AS you said, there is a special place in hell for people who witness child abuse and don't make any effort to stop it, so that includes YOU.

For all we know, the nanny goes along with the psycho bitch mom in order to keep her job BECAUSE she cares a lot about the girls and tries her best in private to undo the damage the mom is doing, and toremain as a stable and positive influence in the girls' lives. We just don't know. What we DO know is that "Mom" needs to learn that what goes around comes around and have it come around for her.

Oh, and you could compose your sighting in an email, then C&P it into a Meebo window, to make it easier. I sometimes do that when posting comments on another forum.

Marypoppin'pills said...

Cali mom
Thank you for your suggestion! :)
It really is easier that way because some messages do get 'chopped' coming through Meebo.

burbsnanny said...

I am a former elementary school teacher, and had a very strong suspicion that the mother of one of my students was selling her son's meds and overmedicating him at other times so she wouldn't have to "deal" with him. I immediately set the wheels in motion to report the mother. I collected all the info I had, spoke with both my student & his sister (a grade below), had all the contact information for the family as well as the social security numbers for the children in the house ( a requirement in the state I was teaching in, and no easy feat).

What was I told by DCF? "If you can get his mom to sign a piece of paper admitting that she sells drugs and overmedicates him, we'll be happy to send someone out to investigate. Otherwise, there's nothing we can do."

Yeah, they'll be sending the troops out in full force to investigate the mom who says mean things to her daughters. I agree it is emotional abuse....condemning the poor nanny to hell is ludicrous. Kettle, please meet the pot. I see two non-reporting adults here.

Report This Abuse said...

OP,

What started out as a valid post has me in shock at the end where you start bashing the nanny.

The mom is a witch so you want to blame it all on an innocent woman?

You have a serious problem. In your attempt to protect children you have completely become a monster.

"A special place in hell?" for the nanny?

I am so glad I will never have to come in contact with someone like you. Please grow a real heart in place of your sad, empty little shell you currently have.

mixed signals said...

how can someone who claims to care so much about kids, be so quick to dump blame on a nanny and condem her to hell? it doesn't sound like something a very caring person would do. op sounds like an angry person who likes to be hateful instead of make things better.

minneapolis nanny is annoyed said...

"I think there must be a special place in hell for people who could speak up and stop abuse and don't. What gives?"

you must also be refering to yourself, OP. i mean, you did nothing... right?

idiot.

LindaLou said...

those poor girls. :(
the mother is to blame!

Sioux said...

I had to quit reading this half-way through, I can not believe how judgmental some of you can be. Throwing insults around at the children and the way they dress and the way the mother dresses. And the Nanny. Who are some of you? I picture these "reporters" with nothing better to do but stick their noses in others business, out looking for something so they can run back to their computers and BLOG.

Why on Earth doesn't any of these people DO ANYTHING? Not once do you hear that they stepped in and said something to the mom or nanny. I guarantee you that if I see abuse I will step in, not come home and ask "why didn't anyone do anything?".

tired of uppity isynhaters said...

sioux,

Many times if one sees a neglectful nanny, it is best not to confront them: in my opinion, depending on the circumstances, "running home and blogging" on ISYN is the more effective way to handle this problem. If a parent reads this about their nanny, they may do something about it. If a nanny is confronted about her behavior, she will not stop, but will only take it out on her charges, most likely. As far as abuse, it is very difficult for police to arrest someone for telling their daughter that they look fat. Most intelligent people realize this.

You may do well to take some tips from this blog and then your blog wouldn't be so boring. Nobody cares about you and your lame-ass family. You are just a bitch to put down this blog and make rude remarks like "who are you all?" Who the hell are you? Just some bored mom whose own blog sucks. Nobody would read your blog except your own boring family. Why don't you just stick it where the sun don't shine, sweetheart. And don't let the door hit ya where God spits ya.

cfg said...

Dear tired
I admit, I was pissed when I first read Sioux comment. But after I read it again, what I gathered from it was her just saying "do something!" ... don't JUST come home and report it on some website.
I honestly don't think she was ragging, or meant to rag ISYN.

brooklyn nanny said...

To the op:

Why are you bashing the nanny. The mother here is wrong and a terrible mom and person to boot. What do you think would happen if the nanny spoke up. Fired??? Maybe she takes care of the girls as best she can when mother is not around. As stated before, you an outsider could also report the mother

does this moniker make my butt look big said...

sioux, I truly believe you mean well, but I can tell you, often when you "step in" and say or do something,(when you see abuse taking place toward a child)it only makes things worse.It angers the abuser and they take their anger towards you, out on the child on top of what they are already dishing out.
You saying something does not help. What you should do is contact the police and make a report asap. That is the best move you can make. Who cares if they laugh?? Call anyhow. If they get enough calls, eventually, they will look into it.
I understand wanting to jump in and save a kid, I do, but reality is, you can do nothing except give someone a verbal tongue lashing and that only pisses most people off.The cops can actually take the child,if neccesary, make a mandated report to child services and place the child in a safe atmosphere if needed, unfortunately,you can do none of those things.
Anyhow, this is JMO and in no way an attack. I had a friend growing up( in Freeport,Texas..we were Jane Long Little Shippers) who's mom was very abusive,both emotionally & physically, and everytime someone out in public would "say something" to her, my friend would get it twice as bad. It finally got to the point where she(my friend) would beg people to just go away and not say anything.
Finally, after my parents and another friends parents went to the police enough,she was placed in a foster care home.

people who abuse kids..are the lowest and If I were president, they would dissapear forever.
Is that scary or what?
My husband says I should not say that outloud..

The mom in this blog is obviously sick and enjoys making her daughters feel insecure.Very sad.and unfortunately, the hardest kind of abuse to prove is emotional.

I enjoyed your blog. Happy posting.

yeah right said...

from the looks of the op's first response to comments, i feel she just came here to rile people up. notice how she added some important information after the fact? notice how she then went on a rant about nannies? it was all just to cause a scene.

and i agree with another commenter who made the point that this person could have made a report if she felt it was so awful. but instead all she did was come tattle here.

cfg said...

"Yeah right", I'm with you. I am the last person that thinks it's ever ok to dump all over an OP, but this one is so inconsistent.
It bothers me that everything she's added since her original post has been extremely negative. Both to the blog and nannies in general.

UmassSlytherin said...

I agree, cfg. Very negative vibes coming from OP's posts.

To sioux:
to be fair, I think this blog does alot of good. In my opinion, if you have something negative to say to someone, you should respond accordingly to those people instead of being vague and saying "who are some of you." That seems quite argumentative and uncalled for to me, personally. Also, to imply that it does no good to "report" bad nanny sitings is not fair. I feel this site does a great deal of good and has the potential to do more good.

Also, with all due respect, it is a bit silly for you to refer to people as "judgemental" and then in turn judge them after admitting that you "quit reading this half-way through." I feel a fair assessment can only be made when one is aware of all that is put forth. Just my opinion. Most of the posters on this board, at least in my opinion, seem extremely open-minded to me and not judgemental at all.

Furthermore, you must be new to this site, or else not very observant because I have read here several instances of people stepping in and voicing their opinion to a caregiver or nanny.

ae said...

While it sounds like the mom was being a horrible witch, and the nanny may have been at least complicit, I'm not sure who you (the general you: an observer, store clerk, nanny etc) report "being mean" to. Emotional abuse is wretched, but legislators have yet to make a law about criticizing your children and giving them a complex.

Anonymous said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
JuliaJolie said...

The OP is a fucking moron. The gist of this report was "OMG I saw a mom be mean to her kids and the nanny should act out, embarrass herself, her employer and the children by being unprofessionally impertinent and end up losing her job, otherwise she's going to Hell Damnation!!"

I doubt that, as a clothing sales clerk, the OP has a job with which they are contributing to the moral and emotional fabric (pun not intended) of society. The mother is clearly a spoiled brat used to getting her own way thanks to the money that's been heaped on her by her parents and subsequent gold-diggings, otherwise she would not treat her children so brazenly in public.

Next time, think before you post, OP. Nannies are not the T-Bor of the childcare industry.

contra costa mother, isyn blog reader for 14 months said...

The Op came on here to rile people?
She purposely left things out of her original submission?

Are you an idiot?
Seriously. Jane and MPP, you need some new readers because the people are driving away sensible people,mostly the mothers who supported your blog from the beginning. While I am glad that attempts have been made to include the nanny community and I am content to skip their many inane questions and opinions, I am sick and tired of seeing nannies attack the people who submit in sightings, or in general anyone who isn't a nanny. the nannies get coddled and lavished with undeserved praise when they submit their often ignorant questions, but God forbid a living, thinking non nanny share her thought or her observance of a situation.

Dempsey De La Ossa, Tucson said...

Based on the exchange as shared, it is quite reasonable to presume the nanny has witnessed this behavior and likely worse. I don't buy the "oh no she'll get fired job". What is she being fired from? Her job as assistant abuser to the children?

The mother is aweful but anyone who stands by and does nothing day after day, week after week is sick in the head. These are children, any adult should stand up for them anytime and everytime any situation presents itself.

Of all the people to be afraid of in the world, why would you care what a fucked up bitch like this thought of you? I would take great pleasure in calling her out.

The salesclerk should have done more, but the nanny is a MANDATED REPORTER.

None of you seem to comprehend that emotional abuse is abuse, it is recognized as abuse and children have been taken from their parents for being emotionally battered and psychologically abused.

Suggested feature for this blog-
how about a test for the people who frequent this blog- how much do you know about child abuse or what is child abuse.

UMass said...

contra costa,
I am not a nanny. I am a mom and I frequent this blog.

I don't know what to say about your comment except that it is pretty unfair. This blog needs some new readers? You need some new manners. Maybe you need a nanny to teach you some.

I can think of more than one non-nanny on this site who attacks posts frequently: you sound extremely condescending towards nannies. I wonder why you are like that? "Nannies get lavished with undeserved praise"? No offense, but you sound irrational and unpleasant.

Click on this link to see who we are sending over to your house. Not for your kids, though: for you!

contra costa mother, isyn blog reader of 14 months said...

Umass,
You are such a silly, silly girl.

Why don't you take a chair while the adults chat.

A question for all thinking adults:
If you saw a nanny in public that slapped her toddler in the face, would it occur to you that the nanny might possibly be more abusive at home?

Based on the above, isn't it possible that the children mentioned in the post above are victims of even harsher abuse? And that a full time nanny a) must see it and b) must report it.

All of you with your ridiculous stories of how CPS or DFS never does everything are not solving any problem. You are enncouraging people not to act. In post after post you people repeat, "nothing could done" or "they wouldn't or won't do anything".

I don't know what they would or wouldnt do. I don't even know the OP's state. What I do know is that if I see abuse, I report it. I don't always get in the middle of a situation, but I do report it.

I do the right thing. I don't excuse myself from doing the right thing by presupposing that other people involved will do the wrong thing.

UmassSlytherin said...

contra,
yes I can be silly at times. but I am indeed an adult. an adult woman. we are all different and express ourselves in different ways.

adults are able to make a point without insulting people unfairly. you are in contradiction with yourself: you accuse others of attacking and that is exactly what you are doing. you sound distinctly juvenile, if you ask me.

the world is an imperfect place. and nobody does "the right thing" all the time, even you yourself. for instance, if you were doing "the right thing" right now, you would be appreciative of others' points of view, which you are not. Furthermore, everybody has a different way of looking at things and everyone must decide for themselves what is right and what is not. nobody is perfect, even you. sorry if that comes as a shock.

JerseyXJacqui said...

contra costa, you've been doing A LOT of selective reading in the past 14 months. Anyone whose contributes to this blog on a somewhat regular basis KNOWS that there a lot of nannies AND mommies who share both similar and opposing views. We aren't mutually exclusive and sides are RARELY (if ever) taken. Stop trying to cause trouble and step down from your pedestal.

JuliaJolie said...

Contra Costa, your posts read like that of an overprivileged brat who does not understand the level of abuse that nannies themselves receive. YOU weren't even there - how on Earth can you be the one to assume that she decided not to cause a scene in the store and that's why she didn't immediately bitch-slap her own employer in the face upon seeing how abusive she was.

The OP's account is sketchy at best, adding new details each time she got butthurt. You are basing your opinion on a snippet of a scene of a potentially, possibly emotionally abusive lifestyle witnessed by an OP who would rather bitch about it anonymously on a blog than actually do something herself about it in person, while she was there. If she couldn't stand to see this kind of suffering in her shop, why didn't she yell at the mother to stop abusing her child? Because the mother was her customer, and if she spoke out of turn in public, she'd get fired, just like the nanny would. Everybody needs a job, but clearly you must be the person who either does not have to work, or you simply do not deal with members of the public in whatever job you do have.

And, by the way, once you resort to baseless personal attacks on other commenters, that shows how counterproductive your trolling really is.

nynanny said...

Umass, you are the greatest. You really know how to get a point across!

UmassSlytherin said...

nynanny,

you are too kind! where have you been all my life? :)

Not a Soldier said...

OP,

I have to tell you that if you are expecting the nannies of the world to be the ones to combat abuse, you are wrong. It has to come from parents.

I am a nanny in my late
20's and I am finally able to half way stick up for myself, let alone confront an arrogant, unstable woman who was my boss. If I was at all confrontational, why would I take a job playing kid games and cuddling with toddlers? Many of us nannies choose this job to AVOID the dog-eat-dog world.

I can't speak for all nannies, but the sad truth is that I am in my late 20's and I think all I could have thought to say to the Mom as MY boss as she criticized her daughter is, "I don't think she's fat at all."

I was chosen for this job because I am sweet, gentle, and easygoing. I fix boo boos with my hugs and my soothing words. I am not at all gutsy. You may think it is our job to stand up to the ogres of the world but you picked the wrong soldier.

The fact is, YOU were the one who was bold and gutsy enough to be angered by it. YOU witnessed it for a reason and YOU were the one who was meant to step in and do something. Blaming the nanny only makes you even more despicable.

Click This said...

did YOU stand up to her? not from the look of it.
People who live in glass houses..
The obvious thing to do, is report the MOTHER not the nanny, fucker!
ps. there is a special place in hell for YOU.

No click this said...

Where's the update from the Op?

uesmom said...

No click
I guess you'd rather address the OP personally. It's 9:57, the update.
Why are you going on every other thread spreading such hatred?
I think your point would be better received if you just made it without being so pissed off, and using pages from Wiki.

No click this is NOT click this said...

uesmom, sweetheart, darling, honey, it's two different people. I posted the second link not the first and it's the first and only link of it's kind that I have posted.

I read the update from the OP and was actually looking for another, such as SHE reported the mother rather than condemning the nanny to hell.

And I have a right to be pissed, this lady went on and on about how the NANNY should have done something when she was capable of doing something herself. She can pick up the phone just as easily as the nanny can. I don't like people who love to tell people what to do but when they could do something they sit back and just watch it all unfold.

Pissed yes, hatred no.

:-) Have a nice day

uesmom said...

LOL, gotcha. But you can see where the confusion came from, yes?
I have a feeling we're not going to hear back from OP. She got too much of a throttle from everybody.

the second clicker said...

I can see where the confusion came from but it's so much easier to ask rather than assume :)

uesmom said...

I know you're trying to be nice, but you're kidding right? Who would have "assumed" there were two of you?
It doesn't matter anyway, because my message was meant for the person that was going around on every other thread and saying MFthis and Fyou. Not really a big deal.

First (ooh I used a wiki link. kill me!) said...

spreading hate? excuse me mother dearest, but I believe you have not looked beyond the veneer.

a polite and meek suggestion gets far less attention, plus, some people are too damn thick to begin to comprehend that people have different views and opinions than their own. For instance: the majority of anonymouses that choose to comment here.

I'll continue..

to be a nanny is to give a piece of yourself away that most people could never part with. you have to be caring, selfless, skillful and smart. nannies deserve respect just like anyone else (more so than many); it is basic human decency.

this website is an insult to nannies everywhere

mimi said...

The first click is nynanny

uesmom said...

first
Then your setting a bad example to nannies everywhere by spewing all your hate. Too bad, because I kind of agree with what you said about
"a polite and meek suggestion gets far less attention". You seem as if you have a strong enough personality and writing skill to get your point across really well without using f-bombs.

uesmom said...

mimi
Please do not encourage her. She has been on all night on several threads using wiki pages to "spread the word", and dump all over this site.

Marypoppin'pills said...

I would like to repeat one of ISYN's Golden Rules:
Please don't assume you know the Identity of the person who is posting.
Thank you! :)

Nana said...

Throwing f-bombs is a sign of stunted mental development. It's means that you're frustrated and you want to express yourself, but you don't possess the vocabulary so you have to resort to swearing.

uesmom said...

You are absolutely correct nana, now that is the most intelligent statement I've heard all night.
I'm not saying people are "bad" for cussing, but when you have the writing skill and strong personality that "click" obviously has, she'd get her point across better without it, and I think more people would listen. Besides, I love this site, and I don't think it's fair that she's saying such mean things about it and the nannies that frequent it.

"this website is an insult to nannies everywhere"
5:17 AM

That just isn't true. I've seen some of the most thoughtful, caring and provocative posts on this site come from nannies.
I've never been much of a poster, but I've been a longtime reader. But some of the posts from yesterday just compelled me to write.

nynanny said...

Nope, sorry mimi. I'm not the clicker. I've only posted once on this thread and that was at 10:09pm, when I was showing admiration for umass - (what's up, girl!)lol

Have only posted one clicky said...

Oh but uesmom did you not see where YOU said NO CLICK?? You DID address it to me. So again I repeat it's much easier to ask rather than assume. I try to limit my cussing and I've never said fu or mf on this site and in fact I think I've cussed once and it was a few months back.

And I'll repeat I've only done the clicky thing once and in my opinion what I asked people to click on fit perfectly with this thread

UMass said...

click on this. And then go hug your child! :)

nynanny said...

Haha! Love it! That's just what we needed, thanks Umass.

UmassSlytherin said...

glad you liked it! I couldn't resist posting it, it cheered me up! :)

mde said...

I worked for the department of children's services in Dade County for 7 years. I can tell you all one thing. We would put a much higher priority on a call received from a nanny who had witnessed abuse over a period of time. We would be able to do little with one abusive encounter while mother and children were out shopping. Unfortunately, without any physical acts of violence, it could appear to some that Mom was just having a bitchy moment. Perhaps the OP was smart enough to deduce as much and wonder, as I wonder why a nanny would work or rather how a nanny could work for someone who took such glee in hurting children?

Mother Clicker said...

"uesmom", thank you for the backhanded compliment, darling.

I am definitely not "nynanny", as she has attested. Instead, I am just a random person who finds this website to be unbearably slanderous to a noble profession. And most unbearable is the fact that almost every "sighting" mentions race as if it is evidence of mistreatment. Frankly is it disgusting.

To dear "nana" (thankfully not mine), who said "throwing f-bombs is a sign of stunted mental development.", I have just this to say:

Mind your own fucking business.

:] Cheers.

hah said...

mother clicker,

you made me laugh. :) I needed that! and I completely fucking agree! :)

Lizzie said...

honestly, as a nanny its hard to correct how the parents are.

Its also scary and awkward to be in the nanny's position. Not everyone is strong enough to do something about it, and I'm sure the nanny and the mom have some sort of relationship that needs to be considered.

Both familie's I have nannied for, the one I do now and the one I have before, I've had/have a friendship with the parents. Its hard to "butt" in the happenings of someone else's family.

and from the look of it, you didn't say anything either. Why should the nanny then?

and on a side note...its not your place to decide who gets to go to hell. Take the plank out of your eye so you can see clearly.

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