27 August, 2008

SAHM rants about Park Slope Nannies

Received Wednesday, August 27, 2008. - Rant
I am a stay at home mother and I have a bone to pick with other mothers who allow their children to be cared for by what I see as a pack of transient Jamaican nannies. The children are kept out all day long. The nannies arrive at a congregating place at breakfast time with bagels, bread and rolls. The children are left in their strollers while the nannies drink their teas and coffees and eat their pastries. Some even read the paper. They chat on cellphones, but mostly among each other.

Ninety minutes passed and the children who were fed single fruit loops and cups of golden grahams for over an hour to keep them pacified are now released for play. Those who need changing get changed. Those who need to toilet are encouraged to relieve themselves on trees, shrubbery or on the grass which I stand. The children play while the nannies continue to talk amongst themselves, read the newspaper, make and take cell phone calls and sit. The nannies do not rise from a sitting position. True, some of the children do call out to be pushed but most have learned their lesson that nanny doesn't move. Some of the nannies disappear from the pack.

Did you know that? They return with shopping bags from the Gap, Old Navy and Mandy, Rite Aid, Walgreens, etc. When those nannies return, the nannies all look over their purchases and ooh and ahh with delight. The same ooh and ahh your daughter Charlotte sought from her nanny when she went down the slide on her stomach, but alas nanny never glanced her way.

Lunchtime arrives and the children are fed first. They are fisted squished sandwiches, crackers and bags of processed foods. Hands that have never been washed, hands that have wiped the bottoms and wrung out the weiners of their charges are stuffed into the mouths of toddlers with blank faces. Toddlers who must dream of the comforts of home and their beds. All the while the children are being fed, the nannies conversate over them. They do not look, speak or even pat a child on the head. They ooh, ahh and laugh amongst themselves. The children exchange blank expressions, big, hollow eyes on a sunny day. A shared, sadness.

After the children have finished eating, it is time for the nanny's feast. This involves shooing the children off to the equipment or sand and strapping the youngest children down in their strollers. The nannies whip out paper bags and old bread bags. Money is exchanged and a few of the nannies depart, (leaving our children under the care of this emotionless group) only to return with heavy, sopping styrofoam containers, dripping the secret grease of pungent ethnic food. They drink fruit sodas and bottled water. And what a spread it is. These nannies hurt not for money. Their portions are enormous, eaten with great gumption while talking amongst themselves. In the distance, a child calls out. A nanny in teal pedal pushers squints to see if it is her charge, but recognition does not register on her drawn and angry face.

An hour or so has passed and the children trickle back to the nanny's spot.. One little girl in a short sleeved red shirt hugs her nanny's legs. The nanny moves her knees to the left and the right, effectively shooing the child away. Another child, a boy of no more than three tries to climb up on his immense nannies lap, but he too is pushed away. "Go play, go on now".

The nannies clean up their area and most of their trash makes it's way to the garbage receptacle. A little boy named Adam asks if he can go home now. His nanny tells him that she is beat and now she gets to take a rest. With that, she crosses her arms across her chest and settles into the bench. The conversation slows. The nannies sit stone faced, baking in the afternoon sun.

More time passes and now it is snack time. There is more apple juice, there are cheddar crackers and goldfish. The children grope hungrily for the kibble and the nannies control each cracker with an iron fist. This nannies, their bellies still bursting from their afternoon feast share in every snack. For the most part, the children have grown accustom to this kind of sharing and are grateful for their nine goldfish and two ounces of juice.One thirsty boy defiantly remarks that his nanny drank his whole box of juice is dispensed to the water fountain and told to quit complaining, "go get some cold water now". The children are toileted on trees and the smalles among them are stripped down and changed roughly across park benches. One particlarly grim looking nanny has stowed all of her dirty diapers from the day in a bread bag at her feet, even though the garbage can is but 50 feet away.

It is now mid to late afternoon. Soon the nannies will warn that it will be time to go home soon. And slowly, they will gather their charges and most of their trash and trudge home. A whole day has passed with nary an educational activity, a word of praise, a loving gesture....
Location: All over Park Slope. Who are the parents that employ these nannies?
(edited 8/28/08 12:00 AM)

112 comments:

UmassSlytherin said...

:(

op said...

Yes, your missing half of my post!

Marypoppin'pills said...

I apologize, OP. But I can only Publish what was sent. The only reason I knew something was missing was because it ended with one word, and started in another Meebo box with something completely different. If you would like to leave what was missed by sending another Meebo, or going to "about I saw your Nanny" and leave it in an Anonymous comment, I would be more than happy to fill it in.

Jane Doe said...

Meebo is imperfect as are many of the free technical supports we use. We only wish we could upgrade to some of the best blog wizzardry, but alas, all that costs money. Did you know you can donate to ISYN thru paypal, using your credit card or paypal account? Any amount from $1 on up. We appreciate your submission and feel terrible that a part of it was lost in transition.

UmassSlytherin said...

:)

op said...

I wrote it from an angry place. After writing it, I felt better. But I will resend it because you are missing two paragraphs. The nanies extravagant lunch and the nannies rest period which follows lunch.

OP said...

I should say that I wrote it in the meebo box, so I don't recall what I wrote. I shall have to think of it. But naptime is almost over and so for now, I must go.

And when I say an angry place, I mean anger at what I see on a near daily basis.

Anonymous said...
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Grrr! said...

(I am not reposting anymore, you guys need to stop posting as anonymous!!) :)


Sounds like these kids are better off in daycare than with these nannies. At least in daycare, they'll get more individual attention and stimulation than with their apathetic nannies.

3:28/re-post!

anonymous donation said...

I Donated Jane. I feel it is my civic duty to help keep ISYN running smoothly! ;)

Maguire Family Blog said...

Oh my goodness, sounds terrible but the part that said "wringing out weiners" made me laugh out loud. What a way to put it!

Manhattan Nanny said...

I have assumed that the "park bench nannies" I saw were housekeeper/babysitters, who were physically exhausted, but if these women are in the park all day, clearly they aren't doing heavy cleaning.
I know parents who call their housekeeper a nanny, but if these are truly nanny positions, why don't these parents hire real nannies? You are right OP, it's a puzzlement!

Manhattan Nanny said...

OK, before anyone gets their knickers in a twist, I think I'd better give my definition of a real nanny.
A real nanny takes the job because she loves working with children. She in knowledgeable about child development, and is always seeking to learn more. She does stimulating activities with her charges, and models good manners and kindness. She may or may not also do non child related housekeeping, if that is part of her agreement. The point is, she wants to be a nanny, and enjoys the work. It isn't just a paycheck.

my two cents said...

Looking forward to reading the missing part in your post, OP. Clear and to the point.

mom said...

This kind of thing is what brought me to ISYN in the first place. As my children grew, I witnesses this kind of behavior from nannies toward children year after year after year. I wondered if the parents of all of these sad, mistreated littel children knew how they were being raised...yes raised...and if they would even care of they did know. I would look at my kids anbd try to imagine them in the place of those other kids, being treated with disdain instead of love, sent away when they were hurt instead of cared for, and completely ignored except for the occasional berating, yank by the arm or spanking. I only ever saw ONE good nanny in all those years. other than that I never saw any nanny, EVER, get up off her a@@ to push a kid on a swing or catch him as he came down a slide. God forbid they should show excitement, or even mild passing interest in any accomplishment that the child might be proud of. And oyu know what...those kids who were raised like that were obvious to the teachers when they entered school...every single one of them.

So when I heard about a site where people actually wrote in about the bad things they saw nannies do...I had to come take a look.

I have since learned, form thtis site, that there are some great nannies out there. But I think certain regions have certain "personalities" as to what nannies are available and how they treat the kids. This park Slope area sounds miserable. it is mentioned here all the time. Where I live it is almost exclusively non english speaking illegal aliens from Mexico...who apparently go into childcare because they CAN, not because they love kids. (Yes, I know this. We've been through this before.)

SHAME on parents whose kids are raised like this. They have DUTY to know what goes on in their children's lives...and to make sure its GOOD!

J said...

As "Park Slope Nannies" are mentioned on here SO often, I have come to the conclusion that the parents of these children do not read this blog.

Maybe it should be advertised?

Or the parents know and don't care? They figure, hey... at least the kids are playing with other kids.

fg said...

they sound like a bunch of worthless lazy sloths

Yaya said...

That is so sad. :(

gimmeabreak said...

OK, I live in Park Slope-and, yes, i see nannies like this. But to make a sweeping comment such as "all over Park Slope" is just wrong. Pinpoint where these nannies are-ok?

not a park slope nanny said...

Uh, "all over park slope" doesn't pinpoint it for you? Heehee, park slope is only so big. It's not like OP said "some park in NY".

abbykaz said...

Seems you were at the park all day too. And while you were doing your anthropological (which was very through and of course thought provoking as well as concerning) who was watching your children? And how do you know they are Jamacian? Just curious? I will take into consideration your observartions.

UmassSlytherin said...

I don't think OP needs to clarify or be more specific because this is a "rant" not a "siting." Obviously she feels that the problem is so out of control that a mere siting would be a drop in the bucket. I agree with Yaya, this is so so sad.

It all goes back to being in touch with your children. In response to Mom's post: I think what you said was so true, mom, but I have to ask the question: how can these parents possibly have no idea what is going on? Wouldn't one surprise visit to the park clue them in? Or a few surprise visits? I do not have a nanny, but if I did, I would do some drop-ins to check up on her. And these moms who employ these dead-beats: can they not see that their caregivers are less than adequate and extremely below par? Are these nannies that great at faking it? I just can't wrap my mind around this cluelessness. :(

so so sad.

chick said...

I truly believe that some parents look for "bargains" in the most idiotic of places - childcare. Maybe these sloth nannies are cheap, or don't ask for benefits, or are paid off the books, or...whatever.

Some parents value living in the "right" house, owning the "right" car, wearing the "right" clothes, and having the "right" electronics. They pay bupkus for the care their children get, possibly because they have kids as accessories, rather than as beloved family members?

Other parents value their kids more than their "stuff", and they find, hire, and retain great nannies to provide terrific care.

It's all about what a parent values most, as far as I can tell.

UmassSlytherin said...

very well said, chick.

JerseyXJacqui said...

Be logical abby...I think it's pretty obvious that these were observations made by the OP over time, not a one time visit to the park.. As far as being Jamaican goes, from what I know from this site alone, a huge majority of park slope nannies are apparently jamaican. You're just reaching at this point. As umass said, this was a rant, not a sighting.

Jamie said...

Agreed Chick. Seems like people are often cutting corners and going for the cheapest childcare. The other day I saw an ad on craigslist looking for a nanny at $5 an hour, the very next ad was quite obviously the same person, looking for a housekeeper for $15 an hour.

I found that quite sad.

i live there don't nanny there said...

I am an awesome nanny with a college degree and I couldn't get a job in park slope, why, because parents in this neighborhood won't pay over 12 an hour ( who, seriously, can live in NYC on that?) and because they wanted their children to have the 'community ' that comes with these nannies. Yes a ten month old is going to be best friends with a six year old.

Anonymous said...
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cali mom said...

I'd love to hear the part of the post that was cut off. OP, try composing your post in an email, save it as a file, then paste into a meebo window. That way you won't have to retype it all from memory if it gets cut off.

I must say I don't see anything that horrifying about a child being "kept out all day". It's summer, playgrounds are meant for kids to play in. And maybe there are SAH parents who want the kids to be kept out for much of the day. And though there's the old line that "if you can't afford expensive adventures for your child every day, then you can't afford a nanny", kids didn't always get taken to museums and music classes and get set up with elaborate art projects and sent off to pricy adventure daycamps all day every day.

But the rest of this sounds awful. If you take a child to the playground, part of the job is to interact with them when they want you to, and help them learn by interacting properly with other kids. And no hand washing is just gross.

mom said...

Umass,
Sadly I have reached the same conclusiion that it seems you have. I think these parents (at least the ones with the children and nannies I have witnessed) must know on at least some level (if not outright) that these nannies are not good for their children...and really don't care, because it's cheap. Whoever introduced the word sloth to describe them is dead on right. I don't see how these nannies I have seen could have possibly put anything over on any parent. They move and react at the pace of...well...sloths. I cannot imagine for even half a second that they managed to fake bubbly enthusiasm at any interview, ever. In fact, I have troule imagining any of them being able to even crack a smile and have it look anything but fake. And, for that matter...how did those interviews even go...what with the nannies not speaking any English. Learning a second language is great...but don't parents want a nanny who can at least understand and interact with their child in the childs first language as well?

I have written about this before on here...but I literally met a little girl...three years old, blonde, American, living in Newport Beach for gosh sakes (with exceedingly wealthy parents)...who couldn't speak a word of English....'cause nanny didn't speak any English, and mommy and daddy couldn't be bothered to spend time with their child...AT ALL...OBVIOUSLY! I asked her name and she looked at me blankly. My sister said, "She doesn't speak English. Ask her in Spanish." I asked in Spanish and the little girl's face brightened instantly, and she told me her name, first and last. Pathetic. Truly, truly pathetic. It's probably the most appalling deriliction of parental duty I have personally witnessed.

paperbagprincess said...

This rant and a few of these comments have a real odor of elitism and ethnocentrism, and it stinks.

Switch this group of Jamaican nannies with a bunch of Lili Pulitzer wearing white ladies in the park and then I have to wonder whether they would be described by OP as a 'transient pack'?

Mom, what you not so subtly refer to as 'certain regions having certain personalities of nannies' is what someone else might consider a different model of childcare - this one clearly more communal. I have to wonder if your subtext here is Jamaican nannies = lazy.

This rant crossed the line.

Jane Doe said...

Anonymous donation at 4:21,
Thank you so much for your kind and generous donation.

mom said...

paperbagprincess,
I disagree. I'm sure if a bunch of Lily Pulitzer wearing nannies were taking crappy care of kids and ignoring them at the park all day...and it was a recurrent theme, OP would have written about them.
Every time there is a nanny sighting where the nanny is other than white, the OP invariably gets accused of being a racist.

I'm sure she mentioned (as most people seem to when writing about Park Slope)that the nannies are predominantly Jamaican, not because she hates Jamaicans, but because they are predominantly Jamaican. Fact, not value judgment.

Just like I mentioned that most of the nannies I have seen in the two places I have lived while raising kids are predominantly Mexican....and I happen to know that most of them in my last neighborhood were illegal aliens too. Fact, not value judgment.

I have a friend in another part of town with a new baby and a very well pedigreed nanny. I get the distinct sense from things she has said that in that neck of the woods, it is well regarded to have a nanny with bragworthy credentials and a lot of training. Fact, not judgment.

To blame somebody for mentioning demographic differences exist in different regions is just shooting the messenger.

Katie said...

And here I am with my Child Development degree and years of experience, Trustline, First Aid, CPR, etc. etc. - tons of energy and I know I would make a great nanny for any family. Yet, nobody wants to pay for a good nanny. Easier to pay $10/hr and have the extra for trips to the spa.

Sabina said...

Is this just a bad piece of satirical fiction, or are you really so hateful and rash?

You say you're a stay at home mom? Then stay at home. Nobody wants to hear your racist and unfounded piece of shit story.

I'm sure these kids were absolutely fine. You just sat there and watched them all day? None of them said anything? "Take a picture, it'll last longer"?

This whole entry is ridiculous. I shudder to think that the person who shat this out actually exists.

JerseyXJacqui said...

Sabina, there have been NUMEROUS Park Slope sightings and they all sound the same. These kids AREN'T fine. They are being ignored and neglected. It's social hour for the nannies and the kids are on their own. It's not right. If this had been the first time I heard about this group of nannies, I would have trouble believing it too. But it's not. You hear about something enough and it's likely there's some, if not A LOT, of truth to it. As mom said, "I'm sure she mentioned (as most people seem to when writing about Park Slope)that the nannies are predominantly Jamaican, not because she hates Jamaicans, but because they are predominantly Jamaican. Fact, not value judgment."

There have been enough bad WHITE/European/American sightings on here to discredit the notion that this has ANYTHING to do with racism.

h said...

Sabina darling,
I am a tad concerned that these children raised by wild beasts will be set free in a society shared with my children. How could they become anything but sociopaths, thugs (or park rangers)?

jennifer lecarlo said...

Great rant. Not racist.

Since the percentage of nannies of Caribbean descent is so large, it makes sense that you would have a number of Jamaican nanny sightings on this board.

I chose to hire an American and I highly recco that everyone do the same.

Janet English said...

How about posting an add on cragislist where these parents look for their "nannies of the year"?. Sarcasm. I do think though that these parents are just cheap and don't care.

H, you're a B said...

h,

I agree that these nannies suck.
but so do you. I wouldn't let my kid play with yours.

nanny said...

I don't know about the park rangers dig, but there's nothing wrong with H being selective about who her kids play with.
And to sabina, your comment is a bit hardcore. Wouldn't you, if in OPs shoes, take notice of a bunch of children strapped in strollers bored to tears, or watching their lazy-ass nannies nosh on their juice and crackers? I find this whole scene believable and utterly pathetic...there's been far too many reports about the nannies at this park.

JerseyXJacqui said...

H is kind of creepy with her overly zealous, snobby, backwards views. It's alarming. It almost seems like an act.

nanny said...

H is probably helaine, right? She sure sounds like her.

gimmeabreak said...

No, saying "all over park Slope" does not pinpoint it for me!!! what park did you see these nannies in? What street? I understand this is more of a rant than a siting, but, still, the OP obviously saw these specifics nannies that she is speaking of while sitting there herself all day. So, yes, I would like to know where. people have different views of what streets encompass Park Slope so, yeah, I would like a more distinct description than 'all over"

Oh, and also, like I said, I do see this a lot. And, I just don't understand. This is a very wealthy area, apartments go for an easy 1 million dollars. People pay $3400 a month rent for apartments, own and rent pricey summer homes out on the island. Why they don't have better nannies escapes me!

paperbagprincess said...

h, posts like your last one are the reason this site has been criticized in the past for having classist and racist undertones. You need to check yourself.

paperbagprincess said...

It may be a 'fact' that these nannies are not American but merely pointing out this fact is not what makes some of these comments come across as racist. There is a tone in this rant and in some of these comments that implies something deeper about the character and behaviours of other women and how it relates to their ethnicity. The word choices: 'transient', 'pack', 'pugnant ethnic food','baking in the sun', her 'immense lap'. And the overly dramatic tone of sorrow: the kids, 'trudging home', 'a shared sadness'...is so over the top.

I don't pretend to know anything about Jamaican child care norms and practices but for argument's sake could it be that a more communal and social way of providing care, wherein children are expected to amuse themselves and not rely only on the adults for all of thier stimulation, is more of a norm? Is this necessarily bad and is this a lot different in practice from many American daycare centres?

You have every right to want your children to have the style of care that YOU want them to have. But I don't think there is anyone who can convince me that this rant does not cross the line into unnecessary ethnic bias. I bet in a million years the OP would never put her real name on this rant.

JerseyXJacqui said...

paperbag, I do agree. A lot of it was over the top, especially the new updated version. I was kind of taken aback by the whole ethnic food remark...
I'm not sure how I feel about this newly revised rant. It was a lot more civil the first time around.

It's a shame that you have that view of daycare centers though. This is not at all how a good daycare center functions on a daily basis. The kids are left to play for a short period of time, amongst themselves, but throughout the day there is a lot of interaction and nurturing that takes place...circle time, project time, story time and other age appropriate activities. It's a lot more structured than you think. Free time, during the school year at least, takes up only a small portion of the child's day in daycare. Daycare gets a bad rap. There are a lot of misconceptions surrounding it. It's a shame.

nanny said...

I'm with you jersey. Count me in with having preferred the first version over this revised one.

UmassSlytherin said...

OP: you should have stuck with the first version. Your update makes you seem elitist. You should, in my opinion, focus more on the negligent behavior of the nannies rather than the "ethic" food and soda they eat. :(

cali mom said...

h, your children don't stand a chance, no matter who you pay to mommy them.

I see where you're coming from Paperbagprincess. These nannies do sound inexcusably cold (pushing away the children who hug their knees and want to be held) but really, how DARE they eat adult-sized helpings of "ethnic foods" and just the sheer gall of them having enough money to buy themselves lunch borders on criminal! And OP, people eat with GUSTO (enthusiasm) not "gumption" (fearlessness and initiative).

mom said...

Haven't read the updated post, but I do want to remark on the comments where people won't let their children play with certain other children.

I hope nobody is making these choices based upon their parents, or other unimportant things. If you are, you are seriously doing your children a disservice. What better place than a communal playground for children to be exposed to a wide variety of different children and learn to like who they like all on their own, based on behavior alone, rather than by knowing whose house is bigger, whose parents make more money, or who goes to the more prestigious school?
I think we parents are forced, by necessity, in these times to keep such a close and overbearing watch on our children (Not blaming anybody...I did it too...because the world is not safe for kids to wander as we once did) that they have lost the chance to learn valuable lessons "the hard way." And the hard way is the way that sticks best. We learned to like who was nice to us and to not play with those who weren't. We learned that the only way to stop a bully was to eventually all get together and give him what for. We learned that if we weren't nice, the other kids wouldn't want to play with us. And nowehere were our parents lurking over our shoulders telling us who we could and couldn't play with....unless there was a darn good reason...one which had probably been brought on by the kid himself and his own bad behavior. We never chose friends by race back then...and even if our parents didn't like the Jonses, they didn't make us shun the Jonses kids. I'm just sayin....

shushufontana said...

"...dripping the secret grease of pungent ethnic food."

WTF does that even mean?

Lady, you are a wanker of epic proportions.

You could have done some actual good by posting simple facts (children who are dangerously unsupervised, nannies riding the bench all day, etc.). Instead, you chose to editorialize in what I'm sure you thought was a clever commentary. FYI, it's not. It does, however, alert anyone who reads it that you are a nasty, xenophobic, hateful piece of work.

I wonder if you would claim these statements as your own IRL. Somehow I doubt it.

aliana. and unhappy and underpay nanny from california, soon looking for another job said...

HELLO KATIE! welcome to the club, as an underpaid nanny with a college degree i understand your frustration, i am a good nanny and everybody knows that, yet i make no money, i am sure these so called "nannies" are getting pay good money to sit on their behinds eating and ignoring their charges all day!

Janet English said...

I posted 2 links to isyn 2h a part on craigslist and they where flagged in minutes. i guess the bench nannies don't like to be outed.

mom said...

underpaid nannies,
Maybe you need to be willing to move form wheer you live? As I mentioned, it seems that different neighborhoods have difeerent flavors. You sound like the kinds who would do well to hook up with a high end agency in a high end market where parents get brownie points added to their social ststus for having the bestest nanny. That's not intended to sound mean, which I realize it might (towards those parents), it's just the best and shortest way I can think to describe it. I'm just saying that there ARE places where people are willing...eager even... to pay top dollar for the best nannies. It seems no use for you trying to compete in a market that won't bear your worth. Go somewhere that will. And on the upside, those places are typically fairly nice places. And those people are most likely also to not want to see you roaming around their houses on your off hours...which means a separate wing or apartment my be provide for your living. Research the country ladies, and find the best places for yourselves, if there aren't other constraints keeping you where you are.

my two cents said...

Yes, the "ethnic food" comment was inappropriate. However what really makes me cringe is the nanny drinking her charge's juice box (even though I actually think she did him a service by making him get water).

paperbagprincess said...

Jersey, apologies, I didn't mean to dis daycare. In fact, my point was that even a less structured daycare may not necessarily mean substandard care. I am a huge supporter of affordable and quality day care.

Miserly Bastard said...

Great post. Stories like this make me want to do surveillance on my nanny, even though we've gotten pretty good feedback on her from random parents we meet, etc. (She is Jamaican.) Maybe I will follow up on this.

mom said...

Miserly Bastard. I half think you're kidding...although I think its a great idea to check up on your nanny from time to time, no matter what you think/hear about her.
However, to make clear...I don't think the intention of this post was to indicate that all Jamaican nannies are bad. Rather, there is a large and regular pack of horrible nannies that frequent the parks in Park Slope...who happen to be mostly Jamaican. If you live in Park Slope, I would make that surprise visit to the park...um....NOW! It sounds like the propensity of MANY Park Slope nannies is to be lazy and unkind. This isn't the first we've heard of this area. In fact, I would go so far as to call it "notorious" at this point.

Anonymous said...
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jojo bear said...

To the dumbass who keeps asking for a pinpoint location,
Park Slope is a neighborhood in Brooklyn. The author was speaking of incidents occuring at parks. Do you know the parks in Park Slope?
Come on, get with the program!

p said...

I take exception to the use of the word pungent. How dare you!

Hello, the ethnic food is a relative comment. First, the meals were large and in styrofoam containers. Second, they had to leave the park - leaving their charges with other nannys??? Do the parents know?

I would most certainly ask my nanny what she had for lunch today and then WHERE SHE GOT IT and she damn well better have had my daughter with her while she got it!

leah said...

My least favorite people-
liberals who like make it a point to use the word xenophobic at least 19 times a day.

Get over yourself,
now wait- get real with yourself.

Who cares about the remark about ethnic food. It could have been tacos. What does that have to do with anything? Stop looking at every post for something to jump on.

You all are really bringing me down. Too much politically correct bullshit. Too many people trying to damn hard to impress themselves. Ethnic food. So what?

AuPairMaedchen said...

Hmmm...

I am an experienced childcare worker with a good education. I have worked for some pretty neurotic and micromanaging parents, so I guess I'm a bit inclined to take the rants with a grain of salt.

However, on the other hand, I love kids and feel very strongly about their proper care. Certain things the poster described about the nannies were inexcusable, such as pushing children away and being cold and emotionally unavailable.

On the other hand, I have to question the assumption that having an adult hover over your child at all times to catch her on the slides, push her on the swings and swoop down to prevent her every fall, discomfort or difficulty is actually good for the child. I am trained as a Montessori teacher, and this kind of thing can actually hinder kids' development. If you always push a kid on the swing, they have little motivation to learn to pump. Kids who've been protected from every scrape and had every fall fussed over don't learn to shake it off and continue after a setback. Kids who always have an adult "making fun" for them don't learn to entertain themselves. And playing outdoors is a great learning experience, which builds motor skills and muscles. Overall, I'm not convinced that the kids aren't better off playing with only basic supervision than they would be with a helicopter parent.

Of course, I have to add that I'm always there if somebody wants to snuggle on my lap, and that talking to kids and interacting is of prime importance. Just wanted to inject a new viewpoint!

AuPairMaedchen

lost focus said...

Here's an idea: rather than focusing on if the OP is racist or not, let's but all that aside and think of the children involved. The point is, no matter what color/race/whatever the nannies were, these children are not getting the care that they need or deserve.

PC said...

Leah @4:43,

we are "bringing you down?" go smoke some more of your young republican KB. Or grow up and realize that people who are racist and insensitive have no class.

you're an idiot. your parents failed with you, kiddo.

fg said...

I get tired of the PC crap as well. It's not always a two-way thing. It impedes freedom of speech. That's more worrisome to me than a comment about ethnic food.

mom said...

Also tired of the PCmania...especially when it is used so INCORRECTLY most of the time these days. I'm all for treating everybody fairly...but since when did even noticing somebody's nationality, or acknowledging that different cultures tend to have different customs become racist or elitist? Give me a break already.

So happens I will be in Brooklyn in a few weeks. I am going to try and check out this Park Slope area if possible...just to see for myself what people are talking about. Can somebody give me an idea of where in Brooklyn it is? It will likely be a weekend day when I have a chance. Will this make a difference in the nanny sighting potential, or is this an everyday thing people keep mentioning?

MsWashington said...

"Pungent Ethnic Food" could mean Chinese, Mexican, Italian, Tai or etc.. It didn't sound offensive to me how it was described. It just sounds like my lunch time. I normally pick something ethnic and pungent as well. Stop picking it apart and get to the real root of the problem. How sad for these little children.

Thanks OP for giving us your view. It defiantly opens my eyes to this area Park Slope.

Tessa - click here for Park Slope Map said...

PC,
It must be you smoking the bud to be so damn paranoid that you think everything has racial overtones.

Kudos, OP.

I live in Park Slope. I don't have children or a nanny but I enjoy your blog. The nannies I do cross paths with tend to be either awful or average. I would love to see someone truly exceptional.

But take a look at the Park Slope parents. They are so caught up in talking about what should be done and what they did 20 years that nothing gets done now anyway.

paperbagprincess said...

I think I give up on this thread. If you think that ethnicity can be bracketed from these sightings as 'irrelevant' than you totally miss the point of what you call the 'PC' critique. Sometimes people slap a 'PC' label on things they don't understand, so they never have to take the time to critically examine their biases.

mom, are you SERIOUSLY going to park slope just to gawk at the nannies? That is just plain weird.

mom said...

paperbag,
Obviously not. I thought I mentioned that I happen to be going to Brooklyn? If I'm near park Slope, darn right I want to see for myself the place I've been reading so much about here for months.

NNJ said...

Some people just have nothing better to do.

cali mom said...

MsWashington, you're right. There is nothing at all wrong with "Pungent Ethnic Food". (Wish I had some right now!) The point is that OP thinks there is and mentioned it very disparagingly, as if these nannies were despicable people simply BECAUSE they ate some ethnic food.

JerseyXJacqui said...

I agree Calimom.
I understand that it's always open season on us damn tree hugging liberals (how hip it is to stray from the pack and announce how uptight and unPC you really are), but anyone with half a brain realizes that the ethnic food comment was not an innocent description. It was condescending and insulting and used in order to berate and belittle. It baffles me everytime I see a seemingly intelligent person on here pick and choose how deeply they want to analyze something in order to fit the mold of their one-sided convictions.

I didn't have any problem with this post until OP updated it. I couldn't take it seriously after that. She sounds close-minded, snobby and flat out MEAN. If her intention was to truly make people aware of the lackadaisical childcare taking place in Park Slope, she would have kept the harsh editorializing to a minimum. I defended her initially. Now I think she went too far. If I hadn't already read so many bad nanny sightings in park slope, I'd have a hard time trusting OP's account of things, simply because she sounds so incredibly hateful and bias.

my two cents said...

I agree with cali mom, and to me this is not even about racism. I just find it is bad taste (no pun intended) to disparage what someone else is having for lunch.
If you ever had to deal with a bunch of 'Eew! gross!' comments during a meal, you probably know what I mean.

NomDePlume said...

Questionable racist comments aside, it was summed up many posts ago when someone said parents in Park Slope only want to pay $12 an hour. I do wonder if you were to take a informal look at the posts here on negative nanny sighting vs. the good ones, just what is the break down color/race wise.

Cali nannies, hang in there. I started in 89 making $200 a week and I make over $30 an hour now. It will come with time. I have some childcare education via a tech school, but no degree to speak of, just hands on experience.

gimmeabreak said...

jojobear:

first off, I am not a dumbass, secondly, I live in park slope, so I know it is a neighborhood in Brooklyn! And, yeah, I keep asking to pinpoint it, cause there are tons of parks around here and she once again obviously sat in one of them all day long and watched this-so, I want to know which one? OK with you?

gimmeabreak said...

to mom who wants to visit Park Slope-

you won't have any nanny sightings on the weekends. All the parents are home then. you might catch one or tow-but, if you are looking for nanny sightings, you have to come during the week.

gimmeabreak said...

So-what should nannies be paid? I don't have one so I am not sure. Would $15 an hour make for a better nanny?

JerseyXJacqui said...

It really depends where you live gimmeabreak. I have a feeling city nannies are paid more. Anywhere from 10-15 here in central NJ is the normal rate (18-20 would be on the high end)...However, the closer you get to the city, the more money you're likely to make. 10-15 for a NYC nanny is probably on the low side, while 18-20 is more common.

I'm just speculating though. I couldn't say for sure and I'm only familiar with the NY/NJ area.

Anonymous said...
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paperbagprincess said...

Sorry mom, I didn't mean to be rude in my last post but to go even a little out of your way to drop by park slope makes it seem like you're being a bit snoopy.

aupairmaedchen, I thought your post was great. You make a lot of sense. Leaving kids to their own devices is not necessarily a bad thing and hanging over them and doting on them 24/7 doesn't necessarily do them any favours in the end.

Whether you agree or disagree with this model it goes to show that there is a diversity of opinions about child care, and one isn't necessarily bad because it clashes with yours.

mom said...

Snoopy? Wanting to have an idea for myself about the place people try to describe here so often and get slammed for? NO, I'd rather wade through all of the flame wars and try to glean the true picture from that...even if I do happen to be standing in the middle of Park Slope one afternoon. Better close my eyes so I don't "snoopily" witness firsthand what some people say is true and others call them racist for maybe just noticing.

J Nanny said...

As a nanny, I would be bored to sit there and just eat all day. I would feel dirty, lazy and fat. But that's just me.

All I can say is that I don't think people who hire these nannies expect supernanny. If they haven't logged on and read about these situations by now, when will they?

mom said...

OK, somebody who knows brooklyn, please tell me. I am apparently staying at a hotel right in the middle of, Downtown, Borum Hill, Cobble Hill and Carroll Gardens. Is that close to park Slope? If so, which of these neighborhoods would I need to pass through to get there? I am feeling "snoopy"...apparemtly. Heheehe

kathrinegutierrez said...

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Park_Slope,_Brooklyn

There you go, mom.

Good brunch places around there, too.

NNJ said...

I do occasional childcare assignments in NNJ. I get usually $15-16 per hour

Manhattan Nanny said...

Mom,
The nannies will not be there on the weekend, or Labor Day.

mom said...

I'll try a Friday or Monday. I'm not going right away, so it won't be Labor Day weekend.

Anonymous said...
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ericsmom said...

Instead of spying on people, why not spend that time doing something fun with your kids??? Or maybe, if your bored you could try volunteering with kids in need,that may need mentors, etc. Or go down to a nursing home, there are older folks there that would love some companionship.

mom said...

Really? I'm not taking my kids along for starters. And I'm not planning on spending my entire day there, but maybe just glancing if I happen to be in the area. Is that OK with people? But thanks guys for the vacation tips...because otherwise maybe I would have just stood in the park for the entire vacation time going aimlessly round and round in small circles...('cause I think maybe one of my legs is shorter than the other.)

Why do I get the feeling people are defensive about having Park Slope looked at by a curious bystander? Anything to hide? Maybe I will be less swayed by everybody's comments that people who post about Park Slope are simply racist, and find some actual merit to their sightings? Really, this is very curious.

not a park slope nanny, thank god said...

Funny you should say that, mom. I'm thinking we've got a couple of park slope nannies on board that might be a-skeered at what you will find! LOL
Make sure you report back, and stay safe!

mom said...

But on the plus side, not a park slope nanny, I haven't said exactly when I am going...just sometime in the next several weeks. So maybe if there are Park Slope nannies on here and they are feeling worried and guilty that a red hot texas mama with a camera phone may make them unwittingly and unwillingly "famous", at least there might be a few kids who get to get out of their strollers and play, eat their own lunches, get pushed on the swings and spoken to in a decent tone...at least for a few weeks anyway.
The defensiveness I have seen makes me really wish somebody who happens to be there a lot would start sending in photos of the big offenders. Obviously there is a problem. And the kids are the ones suffering. Why anybody would not want to make this situation as public as possible is beyond me. Especially on ISYN. This is the place to do that!

my two cents said...

Mom, have a great time, whatever you do. I am looking forward to hearing your take on the subject.

sensiblenanny said...

ericsmom, you are an idiot. mind your business and stop giving "advice" on what mom should do on her trip. When you go on vacation do you volunteer at places?? I didn't think so.

Jane said...

Mom,
Happy Trails...

Marypoppin'pills said...

Yes Mom, have a safe trip and hurry back! We will miss you! xo

sensiblenannykissmyass said...

I just don't see what good its going to do Mom to go spy on some nannies.

Just my opinion...

hey740kissMYass said...

Mom is entitled to do what she wants. Perhaps by her going she will get a good nanny sighting that will help the well being of a child. Ever think of that smartass/sensiblenannykissmyass? Thats the good she can do. Erics mom was rude and the suggestion that mom volunteers on her vacation is just rediculous. Moron

mom said...

Hmmm...was it Eric's mom who said that? I do have to say that I usually like what eric's mom has to say and am sort of surprised that she was one of the ones who said that to me. Oh well. No hard feelings.
But to the nanny who wants me to kiss her ass...I think I won't thank you. But if you're as nasty to the child you watch as your post makes you sound, I just might take a photo of it instead.

MPP, I'm not going quite yet...and I think I will keep the dates a bit secret for now...for a couple of good reasons...

That said, I will say again that I wish people who actually live there and spend long hours at Park Slope would start posting photos. But be careful when you take them so it is not obvious. Best to avoid unpleasant confrontations...especially when you have your children with you!

I saw a lot of kids raised by nannies like I see described here. How great it would have been if there was a site like this way back when, and maybe some of their parents would have found out in time to change the course of their childhoods!

jojo bear said...

Mom,
make sure to take a camera with high resolution. I want to see the pores on the nanny's nose.

UmassSlytherin said...

mom,
I tried to post on this thread earlier but got an error instead: have a safe trip and bring us back some sitings! :)
love,
ums

Patricia said...

No intelligent person says "conversate." Who, exactly has posted this "rant."

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...
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10:07 repost for anonymous said...

Most parents ask the nanny to take the kids out, they can't walk so I'm not sure what activities are suppose to be done. I think you guys are looking at this one sided. When you take you kids for a walk in the park..don't you drink some beverage and pull out the news paper. Whats the difference between a parent doing that and a nanny. The point of the child going outside is to get fresh air. This rant would have been something else if the nanny had the child on the ground playing. It's easy to rant on something we see with our eyes but blinded by our own bias opinions. What house work does this nanny have to do in the morning and after her park trip....My question to you what are you doing in the park all day every day to observe this. The benefit of nanny network is creating a playdate environment when kids get older. Why is it so wrong for the nannies to talk with eah other, this isn't slavery where the help must stay away from others. Put yourself in the shoes of a nanny , most of these apartments dont have a big enough backyard..THEY are told to take the kids out. Its easy to sit back and judge when you dont know the whole story..but with all this idle time you have available to be nancy drew..you should become a nanny and set the standard you think is needed.

The parents of these kids know most of these other nanies, because that how familes find nannies through recommendation from a friend/neighbour.

God bless...
If these kids are in danger that should be the concern, did the nanny strike the kid...can you see inside the stroller was the child sleeping, are you saying these nannies should not eat on the job.

10:07 AM

RE-POST

10:11 repost for anonymous (please pick a moniker!) said...

Look at the " nanny gone wrong "..look at the faces..
Most predators are white males....

That should be our concern.

10:11 AM

RE-POST

Anonymous said...
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12:33am re-post for somebody who ain't paying attention!! said...

Anonymous said...
just swing over to the bkln hts promenade any weekday and see the nanny-brigade out in full force. if u sit for 30 min, u will see something disturbing. no one is making this stuff up.

12:33 AM

RE-POST FOR ANONYMOUS POSTER!
JEEZ, YOU HAD 2 RE-POSTS ABOVE YOURS AND STILL POSTED ANONYMOUS???

nanny liz said...

This is so sad.
Those poor children.