Wednesday

Nanny upset over drowned Blackberry

Received Wednesday, August 20, 2008. - Perspective & Opinion
Ok I'm having a little problem I would love some help with. I have been working for a new family for a little over 2 years (with my last family for 8) and to say the least it is vastly different from anything I am used to. The children are VERY challenging and this family has gone through many nannies in years prior.

So, their 4.5 year old has some behavior issues or perhaps lack of discipline issues. I sent him to his room to have some time alone to calm down after a fight with his brother. This angered him and he felt as if he was being punished even though I explained they both needed some time apart and to calm down and he was in no way being punished. As I was in the kitchen preparing dinner he snuck downstairs and got my blackberry from my bag (he is always trying to play with it) and proceeded to throw it in the toilet. Now every cell phone user knows that the only really unfixable thing that can happen to a cell phone is water damage.

After discovering this I called his father and explained the situation. He said the boy had to stay in his room until he arrived home. He assured me that they would replace my phone. This was a week ago. The dad is now giving me a hard time because in order to replace my phone it will cost quite a bit of money. I've also had to get a pre-paid cell phone in the interim to use. He now says because the cost is so much he feels he should only have to pay half. I strongly disagree and am thinking of quitting over this issue. It is not a hardship for them to replace my phone. Mostly this is very disheartening to me. I work so hard and go above and beyond and now something that was clearly maliciously done to me by their child I am expected to pay for. I'm just frustrated that he's nickel and diming me on this issue given what I have to deal with there.
Am I overreacting to think this is an issue to quit over? And who's right? Thanks.

70 comments:

UmassSlytherin said...

OP,
you are in the right here. They need to pay for it. The child was the one who damaged your property, and it is not as if you left it lying around. He went into your private bag and got the cell phone out. He is not a toddler. In a court of law, the parents would be required to pay for this item. Please demand that they pay in full. I would say that yes, this is an issue to quit over. It shows their true character in so many ways: they are unwilling to take responsibilty for their child's wrongdoings and furthermore, they are being cheap and assholish. This child sounds like a very "challenging" (ahem...brat) little darling and these parents are responsible. good luck and please give us an update.

Nana said...

Quit. But not before you get your money. This is a huge red flag---any parent who would not make good on a case like this will only continue when the next event occurs. You deserve respect from both the parent and the kid.....and with a parent like this, that brat is only going to get worse.

Nannyneedsanap said...

Yes, I would quit if they didn't replace the blackberry. It's not as if you gave the child the blackberry to play with and he accidently dropped it in the toilet. He snuck it out of your purse and maliciously drowned it. If he were my kid, he'd be doing lots of chores to work it off too.

mnanny said...

They need to replace it without a doubt. Get your money/replacement and quit.

my two cents said...

"Because it costs so much he should only have to pay half"? I think you are perfectly justified if you quit them over this. Of course they are responsible for their child's action and should replace the phone. If they were good parents they could use this as a teaching opportunity for the child to learn the value of money and the consequence of one's actions.
You sound like a great nanny and I am sure you will have no problem finding a better family.

Marissa M. said...

He snuck down stairs and threw it in the toilet? What a little brat!

If my child ever tried that all hell would break loose.

For 1 I'd take away the same amount of toys and sell them to make up for the cost of a blackberry.

Number 2, he would stay in his room for the rest of the day.

And 3, if there was anything left of his toys, I'd flush his favorite one or make him throw it in the trash.


That's right. An eye for an eye. Parents need to teach their kids what consequence is- its a prefectly effective way to get them to be half decent human beings.

And if your assholish (I like that one Umass) employers don't reimburse you in full, I suggest you flush one of their phones and see how they like it. Also, I would stop using a pre-pay phone unless they reimburse you within 48h. After all, who wants to deal with a phoneless nanny. If they where even half decent they would be paying for your pre-pay minutes too.

Marissa M. said...

Oh and did I forget to say you should just quit regardless?

UmassSlytherin said...

I think this child is in for a life of crime. He sounds horrid. And you know who is to blame for that. Well, unless he is just pre-disposed to this personality and is just destined to be a serial killer, like jeffrey dahmer. I have seen dahmer's dad interviewed and he actually seems like a nice guy. just saying. but normally if you are a jerk your kid is a jerk too. That's just the way life is. You grow up to be like your parents. I hope that isn't true for my daughter. :( If it is, she will grow up to be a juvenile, socially-retarded big-mouth. :(

mominmisissippi said...

That is ridiculous and of course he should pay for your new phone. I could not imagine as an employer not replacing nanny's phone if one of my children damaged it, even accidentally (which this was not!). These parents need to get a grip!

mom said...

OP get your money abck and then quit. How incredibly outrageous for him to expect oyu to pay half BECAUSE it costs so much! Ummm...that's why you need them to replace it.
When I saw the title of this post, I was all ready to tell you that carelessly placed items in the presence of youngsters are your responsibility...but the kid got into your bag! That is a complete violation, and they have to take responsibility for thier child's purpseful vandalism. End of story.

Then quit. This incident shows that there is a very low price for which their honor can be sold. You are working for people of very limited moral character.

I have seen some fantastic parents who have a great child or two and then one who is a complete terror. Sometimes it is just in the child...but sometimes the parenting is so ineffective that they ruin kids that would otherwise be perfectly fine. Sounds like this one could go either way.

r to the c said...

I agree with a lot of the pp's.

Get the replacement and QUIT. The kids' a brat and the parents obviously have issues themselves.

GL!

r to the c said...

I agree with a lot of the pp's.

Get the replacement and QUIT. The kids' a brat and the parents obviously have issues themselves.

GL!

nyc mom said...

They should pay. If my kids broke something of my nanny's I would offer to replace it immediately. I would do this even if I thought it were partially my nanny's error due to leaving something out, at least the first time.

Not sure I agree with marissa on how I would punish my child, though. Of course they should learn consequences and time outs, chores, removal of privileges, and even selling toys to earn money are all reasonable. But I would not throw out one of my child's toys as retribution. That just seems mean spirited and childish to me. It's what a child did - throw something out in anger - and not a response I think a parent should model. I also don't think it's appropriate to hit a young child if they hit you, though, even though it's "an eye for an eye." I understand rare situations in which people do spank, though that might not be my choice. I just don't think being vindictive and destroying a child's belongings teaches them to be decent human beings.

magazineaddict said...

Oooh, this makes me so mad! How dare he try and get out of paying for your phone when his child destroyed it on purpose! If he still refuses to replace it, I would seriously consider threatening him with legal action. Then after he pays you, quit. And tell him he is a jerk.

lawyer-to-be said...

If they don't pay IN FULL.... I ahve to words for you: SMALL CLAIMS....
Crap, blackberry phones are expensive. And I am sure you can't afford that... afterall, yo nee to buy gas ;)

*** NO disrespect to your financial status, but I can't imagine it is an expense you want/need....

Good Luck!

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prlfq said...

I'm not following the father's logic at all. They need to pay for the phone and I would absolutely quit over this.

paperbagprincess said...

oooooh this makes mad too. What a jerk. I know its easier said than done to pack up and quit, but this really is a foreshadow to your future working with Mr A-hole and A-hole junior. You deserve better and they deserve to wait in the queue to get a visit from Super Nanny, or Take Home Nanny, or Cesar Millan to come visit.

The blackberry is sacred, you don't be playin'!! (:

xfileluv said...

Also, how stupid are the parents to argue with you over this? A resentful nanny is going to be less kind and/or loving to the children of the people who are causing said resentment. Even if it's not on purpose, it's bound to creep into the way you deal with their kids.....

MissDee said...

AGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGH! OK, sorry, I had to let it out! *LOL* Anyway, what I want to know is what kind of child would do something like this-go into nanny's bag, take the Blackberry, and flush it down the toilet? I can just picture this child having no remorse for what he did. Sounds like a lack of discipline-anyone remember my best friend's nephew, the 4 year old on a bottle and not potty trained? This child sounds much like him. My friend's nephew would take things and laugh about it, and was never taught to keep his hands to himself. OP, here is something to keep in mind-if you have phone insurance, you pay a $50 deductible, and you are sent a new phone through loss prevention. I would claim it as stolen, which, truthfully it was stolen by a 5 year old. I would be pissed if something like this happened to me, and I would quit in an instant. I can see this child in juvenile detention and in prison. You sound like a great nanny, and hopefully you can work something out with this family. If not, hopefully you can work for a family that will not steal from you and act like they did nothing wrong. This family did things wrong-they have a hold terror psycho child, think Maculay Culkin in "The Good Son", ignore his behavior, refuse to take the blame for what happened, and won't replace your phone. Amazing as to how the criminal life starts so young.

MissDee said...

Oops..."holy terror psycho child"...grr typos!

cali mom said...

Dad is trying to renege on his promise - not OK. Give him 2 weeks to cough up, and if he doesn't, consider it his notice and find a better family.

cali mom said...

AND take them to small claims court for the cost of a new one if they still refuse to pay up.

cali mom said...

OK, now catching up and I agree with those who say QUIT even IF they pay for the phone.

NVMom said...

I wonder if you broker their very expensive item, would they be willing to accept half compensation from you, because after all it's so expensive. No! They need to take responsibility for what their child did. If he broke something in a store, they would be responsible for the full amount, whether or not the item was expensive or not. His 'logic' just does not add up.
I agree w/Cali Mom, small claims!

UmassSlytherin said...

This is a case of a "big person" trying to take advantage of a "little person" and banking on the fact that she will be intimidated by her "big bad employer." It is disgusting! OP, stand strong and do not back down. Absolutely! write down the date he said that he would pay and exactly what happened, and also document any conversation regarding the phone with dates. Save reciepts for your pay as you go mobile because you may be able to collect on that as well.

Keep us updated!

nynanny said...

Everybody is calling this kid a brat, but can you understand why and where he must've gotten it from? If dad is such a creep that he won't replace your blackberry, when obviously you say it wouldn't hurt him financially, what kind of message does this send to the child? These must be really crappy parents, and it's no wonder Jr acts the ways he does. In the grand scheme of things, it's not his fault. His parents raised him to be this way.

kc said...

I totally agree with everything everyone has said. I've never seen everybody so united!

Lisa said...

Long time reader... first time poster. I love this blog and really enjoy all your thoughtful comments!

The parents definitely need to step up and replace the Blackberry. To do otherwise is just wrong.

I'm not so sure about the "eye for an eye" thing, but if he were my child, there would most definitely be some consequences. I'm equally concerned about the boy going into the nanny's purse as I am about the destruction of the Blackberry. To me, they're two separate issues that each need to be addressed.

Casey said...

I agree with all the above posters, but I'll give you my experience with having a 'drowned blackberry'.

I thought I had insurance, but didn't. I had water damage to my phone but it was within a year, so if I sent it in, they would charge me $100 and give me a new one. If I had insurance, the deductible was $110, since the phone is so expensive. Neither option were that appealing, since I wanted a Curve instead of my Pearl. I called TMobile and got them to give me a Curve for $150 if I renewed my contract.

Those are some options if you can't get the cheapskates to pay. Good luck and update us OP!

Marypoppin'pills said...

Great advice, Casey.
OP, since you need your phone now, I would call your Cell provider and ask them what they would charge you if you offered to renew your Contract.

A couple of years ago my Cell phone was stolen, and when I called to disconnect the service (and wasn't charged for the calls the person made that stole it) they offered me a newer Model if I renewed my Contract for the cost of Shipping.
I don't know that you'll get that great of a deal (they were sympathetic that it was stolen) - but it certainly couldn't hurt to ask.
Then keep hounding the Dad for the money he rightfully owes you.

macaroniandcheese said...

They should pay for the phone and you should quit even if they pay the full amount.

The father is pathetic and I would never work for a family like that. He's shown his true colours (his disregard for you and your things) and will do it again.

minneapolis nanny said...

demand what you're owed, and leave after you get it.

JerseyXJacqui said...

Nevermind quitting because of the cheap father..quit because of the little devil disguised as a kid and parents who raised him to even CONSIDER that kind of behavior.

kind of surprised said...

I am very surprised by all the nasty references to the little boy.He is till so small.
Yes,he did a mean nasty,childish thing.That is what angry little kids do and That is why God provided them with parents and nannies,to show them the difference between right and wrong.
If you leave/quit,you will be teaching this child that the grown ups who love you,leave when they are angry at you.
His parents seem worthless,to say the least.Insist dad pay you the full amount with your next paycheck.

2 years is a long time to spend as a childs nanny. No doubt you have come to love these children.(despite the behavioral problems)
I do not condone this childs behavior at all and I am very sorry that your personal item was trashed by this child.

As parents and nannies, we face challenges everyday. If we all only got to deal with the fabulous,well behaved kids all the time,there would be a lot of kids without parents or nannies.
My kids included.
Teach this young man what he did was wrong,but don't walk out on him for being a kid.or because he has useless parents who don't know how to treat people. You may very well be the best thing that ever happens to these kids.

Just an FYI,the age of reason is 8.
At almost 5 years old, this child is not able to distinguish being sent to his room for alone time versus being sent to his room because he is in trouble.Especially if he was just caught fighting with his brother.He is still soo little&being sent to your room sucks at any age.

If you truly were just seperating the kids,you might try sitting one at the Kitchen table and one in the living room or something similar.Give them each a book or crayons to keep them busy. JMO

I want to reiterate,I do not think you are over reacting and your anger is just. I just hate to see the child pay the price for having an ass for a dad.


Goodluck with the situation . You have a tough decision to make.

JerseyXJacqui said...

Which and whose god are you referring to? Do all gods do the same thing for children?
Don't answer that.

Sprak said...

This is more than just being chintzy, although I sometimes wonder how some people have the nerve to put their cheapness on display and in action when it comes to their nannies. This man is ignoring his responsibility to you because he is culpable for any damages his child/children do -be it accidentally or purposely. He probably doesn't think twice about spending money lavishly when it suits him. I so dislike cheap people.

kind of surprised said...

jxj and anyone else who may be athiest or whom I offended in anyway.. I am sorry for the "God" referral.As I do not wish this thread to take a derailing turn, Let me re-phrase.
" That is why they have parents and nannies."
I hope that meets your approval jxj,I was not trying to offend anyone.

fox in socks said...

I REALLY agree with kind of surprised. OP, I hope you consider this opinion.

Just continue to calmly insist with the dad that he needs to pay you your expenses for replacing the phone.

The child did a mean thing, but children make mistakes. The parents do need to pay you back. I can understand your frustration. I hope you will stick it out there and be repaid soon.

Let us know what happens.

UmassSlytherin said...

kind of surprised and fox in sox,

with all due respect, I don't think it makes the least bit of sense to advise OP that she should "stick it out" in order to teach this BRAT (and he does sound like a brat, sorry but not all children do this when they are angry) a lesson of any kind. OP is the employee, not the parent. If she quits over this incident, it will be because the parents are assholes and if the child thinks that the nanny left because he is bad it is these asshole parents fault, NOT this nanny who is an innocent bystander. I don't really think that you understood OP's reasoning for leaving this position. It is not because the child is a BRAT (YES HE IS A FREAKING BRAT) it is because the parents are negligent in treating her with respect.

In my opinion, at five years old, if a child is smart enough to go into the nanny's purse and steal the phone, he is smart enough to know that this is uncool, and he deserves to be sent to his room. I understand that you think OP should be all warm-hearted and nicety nice nice over this, but life is not always like that. This is her job, not her family. And old Dad is trying to take advantage by even SUGGESTING that they not pay in full. Next time it will be even worse. OP should quit regardless of if he pays for it or not, which he must, you are right, Fox in Sox. I'd walk. But that's just me.

UmassSlytherin said...

And one more thing, kind of surprised:
this child MUST pay the price for having an ass for a dad. It does suck and it isn't fair but that is this kid's cross to bare: he will be paying the price for years to come and the nanny will not be there to protect him. The nanny should not take responsibility for the harm this dad causes to his child.

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kind of surprised said...

umassslytherin,The child should have been sent to his room,of course,for what he did.If he were my child he would have received far more punishment than that.
I was referring to the OP'S statement about sending the child to his room to have "alone time" and then telling him that "he was in no way being punished". I do not agree that he is old enough to distinguish the two.That was all.
As far as being nicety nice? NO, I do not feel that is what OP should do.She needs to assert herself with dad until her phone has been replaced.
You are right,not all children do things like this, but many do.

Children at age 4and ahalf are still babies. I seem to recall your own comment on another thread about and 8 yr old still being a baby or still seeming so young or little..something to that effect.I agree with you about that.
He is a small child who made a terrible mistake out of anger.(I have seen grown adults do worse.)

Funny,in a world where everyone wants us to "get involved for the good of the child"
or "it takes a village to raise a child"
nobody wants to stick it out when they themselves are put out.And yes, I agree, this nanny really was put out by this childs actions.He did a shitty thing,but he is a child and she is an adult,hired to work around children , as unpredictable as they are between the ages of 1 and a half and 8!

Umassss, you are right, dad is an ass,however,I refuse to call a five yr old with obvious lack of parental guidance or role modeling a brat.
I would call him a child looking for someones,ANYONES attention!

sydney white said...

wow, you people act as if your children never did anything out of anger. You must all have saints for kids!
I don't. All of my children at one time or another over a 15 year peiod of time, have done things that they knew better than doing. Because they are kids. When they are angry, they act angry. They are no different than us.Just little unpolished versions of us.

I hope you don't quit. I hope you get your Money or new phone and continue to be a positive role model for these children.Sounds like they need it!

Dad has no doubt been an ass for the previous 2 yrs, so nothing has changed there.

sydney white said...
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Analyze This said...

OP,

Your instincts are correct. As an experienced nanny, I trust that you know when a situation is acceptable, and when it has crossed the line. It sounds to me that you know a line has been crossed, and I hope your trust your very wise judgment.

Not only is the parent being cheap, he is also not accepting responsibility for disciplining his son. Part of our job as nannies is to support the parents' style of discipline, and always be consistent with them. But I sense you were the only one dealing with the bulk of this child's behavioral problems. There is NO reason for a child to think it is EVER okay to destroy someone else's property. This is shows complete disrespect for you as authority and for your property.

I could not work for this family. I am sorry because you have been with them two years, and it is never easy to move on. But I think you know what you need to do.

cali mom said...

I caught this and am reposting because it will soon be deleted and it's a great comment:

Anonymous said...

The child did it on purpose. It wasn't an accident.

Take him to small claims court if he doesn't pay for the phone.

And quit, either way. What is the child going to do next time?

--------

I kind of agree with this. 4 1/2 is young, but at what point do kids learn that if you purposely treat someone badly, they might not want to be your friend anymore? It's a tough call but kids need to learn that even IF they are mad about something (even if that's because they are misunderstanding sometihng), that it's NOT okay to purposely seek out and destroy people's belongings. For how long does a child get carte blanche to wreak havoc, with the excuse that he's so young, he doesn't understand what he's doing?

cali mom said...

And, it IS highly variable, but wouldn't that mean a child should be allowed to beat the crap out of other kids on the playground whenever he is mad at them about anything until he is 8 1/2 years old? Destruction is not an acceptable way of expressing anger, at any age.

UmassSlytherin said...

kind of surprised,
I definitely appreciate your point of view. but village, shmillage: she is the nanny. She should look out for number one: herself!

As far as my comment on the other thread about the 8 year old still being a baby, I meant what I said. In that case I was attempting to advise a stepparent. This is a totally different situation: this is the nanny and I don't think a situation in which an employer would be stupid/underhanded/selfish/egotistical/cheap/assholish
would be a good situation for ANY nanny. I feel this nanny should quit. Not because of the child's actions at all, but because of the parent.
as far as the word "brat": no, it's not a nice word. I don't know the child in question: let me correct myself: he sounds like a freaking brat to me!!! My own child acts very bratty sometimes. I don't call her a brat, but she acts like that sometimes. We, the posters who are calling this child a brat, are not walking up to him and saying it in his face. We are discussing it here, in this forum. And he sounds like a brat. It is of course normal for children to behave bratty at times. That is not the issue.
That old saying "it takes a village to raise a child" does not apply to nannies who should feel they must stay in a shitty job with parents who are idiots and do not respect her. This is her job. Not her family. Even kindness and good will have their limits, imo. I personally would not stay with a family like this who tries to put one over on her. I ask you this, people: what if this nanny had said, "Ok, fine, just pay half." Then what? Then the parents would have gotten away with this behavior and the child would still have learned nothing. She has to fight for what is rightly hers? That shows a complete and utter lack of human decency on the part of this family. It is not a situation in which the parents cannot afford it. These people are really scummy if you ask me. The child's behavior is IN NO WAY the issue here. I'm just saying he sounds like a freaking brat.

Marissa M. said...

Im sorry but did I just read that at 4.5 he is still a baby and that he is looking for attention? What a load of....

So you are saying he doesn't understand consequence yet but he understands that the nanny's consequence for her behavior (sending him to his room) is to lose her phone. Yeah, that sounds like baby behavior to me alright.

nynanny said...

I'm one of the few that feel bad for this kid and blame the parents. That being said, even though I don't agree with your stand marrissa -- way to freaking go! Excellent comment.

Marissa M. said...

Oh I feel bad for this kid. His parents are ruining him! I don't think he should be babied though with "oh he doesn't know better" slap on the wrist and now you can go play.

I do feel bad for him. He is a brat. And I stand by that.

I don't always think to solve things with an eye for an eye approach. The world would be blind if we did.

I just mean consequence that sticks.

Once my husband was a total brat around his 10th bday and his dad said: if you keep that up you are getting a bag of rocks for your bday. He maintaned that behavior and guess what he got....

cali mom said...

Marissa, wow. That reminds me of the dad I read about who threatened to take all the Christmas presents he'd gotten for his 3 sons and sell them on eBay because the kids were acting up really bad. They weren't really young kids, around 10 and older, but he really did it. Listed them all for sale.

JerseyXJacqui said...

Haha kindofsurprised, I was kidding. Being a wise ass. :-)

UmassSlytherin said...

ny nanny,
no, you're not one of the few. We all feel bad for this kid. I just would not stay in the job if I were OP. I do feel bad for every kid with a-hole parents who try to take advantage of their nanny.

nynanny - click me said...

calimom and marissa
That reminds me of a story. One year we were told we'd get coal in our stockings for christmas if we didn't straighten up, and damn if we didn't.

Check this link out. I think dad meant business, too! LMAO!

Marissa M. said...

That's pretty funny- the Ebay thing. Let me guess, the kids took him serious after that incident?

Just imagine 15 years down the line when you reflect and how funny that would be. My husband and his dad still laugh about the bag of rocks.

Which leads me to believe that one of my kids, if not both, will end up with a similar gift sometime in the future...

nynanny said...

marissa
yea, i know, LOL! Hey, I didn't know you had kids?

OP said...

OP here. Thanks for your comments. I told him today that he needs to pay for my new phone and the pre-paid phone I've had to buy. My cell phone is my only phone I use it literally for EVERYTHING.
He begrudgingly agreed and wrote me a check after checking the price of the phone for himself, as if I inflated the price!
The children both have behavior problems. This is due to a lot of nanny turnover (no one stays because they are so difficult and there are 3 12 hour days) and lack of discipline. The parents seem to really be clueless. I've been blessed with caring for children with none of these problems in the past and this is a huge challenge.
As for sending him to his room, I have to. If he is anywhere near his brother they will yell back and forth at each other and it just never stops. Believe me he's old enough to know the difference, he just gets angry.
He did seem to be truly sorry and even asked me if I was going to "not be his babysitter and not like him anymore" so I feel I cannot leave at least not yet. The stress and mental strain is really getting to me and I won't be able to do it a whole lot longer but I don't want to abandon them.
Thanks again all. I stood up for myself and indeed got what I wanted from the whole thing. However, I do not care for the father much anymore and am glad I hardly have to deal with him.

fox in socks said...

Dear OP,

If you do end up deciding to leave at one point or another, please make sure to say to this boy that you will always like him no matter what, and give him a card saying this that he can keep and remember what you said.

I'm really glad to hear that the dad gave you the money. That's great!

It's so heartening to hear that you are staying for the time being. I hope the dad will come to appreciate you as much as the boy obviously does.

It's great to hear of this positive outcome.

Good luck!

LindaLou said...

OP, i'm glad your phone was paid for. you deserved no less. good for you for sticking up for yourself.

referring to any child, especially a preschooler, as a *brat* really turns my stomach. rotten behaved kids are created by the adults around them. also, i don't know how many preschoolers some of you have been around lately, but they vary vastly in both maturity and reasoning skills. it sounds like this child has some problems.

Marissa M. said...

Oh no I didn't use the best sentence construction. i don't have kids yet but (apparently i am having 2 excluding the ones I want to adopt).

We frequently talk about how we plan to raise our kids.

OP, happy he gave you the money. You deserved it. Even if it sucked for him.

nynanny said...

Even though Lindalou pissed me off, she is right.
OP, I'm glad things worked out for you - but I do feel bad that when you do eventually leave, this kid will somehow blame himself anyway. You've probably been the only stable thing he's had for 2 years.

nynanny said...

marissa
Okie! ;)

DowntoEarth said...

Op glad you got paid for your phone. I totally disagree that 4.5 yr olds re still babies. They are a lot smarter then you are giving them credit for. They do understand what alone time is . Mine certainly did and they knew what a time out was too.
Too bad these parents cannot take the time to teach the kids right from worng..poor little kid.

Yaya said...

Advice: get insurance on your phone. As a nanny, I seriously go through about 3 phones a year, but w/ insurance coverage, they just replace it for free. It used to be a $50 charge, but now it's free.
Glad he finally owned up to paying. Tell him maybe if his child wasn't a terror he wouldn't have to fork over extra money.
I seriously cannot work for cheap employers. No way, no how. Hit the road. The cheapos bother me bc they complain about every penny they have to pay the nanny, yet turn around and spend thousands of dollars regularly on things like toys for the kids, tv's, new curtains, etc etc etc. Drives me nuts when ppl are cheap w/ the most important person...the one raising their children and running their household!!!

paperbagprincess said...

I'm glad there was some resolution and that OP got what she was entitled to. To a certain extent I understand people's concerns over the use of the term 'brat.' I think all of of us who use the term, and worse (myself included!!) take it as a given that 99% of these 'negatively tempered' (better??!) children are the product of their environment. I.e. of course the parents created these little monsters! I don't think there is too much disagreement there! What I don't like is the suggestion that it is the nanny's job to tough it out and turn things around. I don't think the onus is on her (ESPECIALLY not for $15/hour), nor is the moral responsibility.

UmassSlytherin said...

Well-said, Princess. I completely agree.

Memories said...

This discussion over the word brat brings back funny memories. I am 7 years older than my brother and used to call him a brat and brat-baby every time he acted up. He would cry and my mom would get furious with me. I thought I was being funny but now that I am older I realize how mean it was.