Thursday

Nanny catches Dad abusing the family pet ....

Received Thursday, June 26, 2008 - Perspective and Opinion
I have a dog-reated question I'd like to throw out there for people to respond to. As a nanny/housekeeper, I also provide the majority of dog-care during he day (not in my job description,btw). As a result, the family dog and I have formed a very strong bond. I really love the little guy, and he believes he's MY dog, I think!Yesterday dad-boss got angry when HE allowed family dog within access to the family cat's food dish. Of course, family dog ate the cat food. Dad-boss got very angry and repeatedly (at least 4 times) HIT the dog eioth an open hand. It turned my stomach. I didn't even know how to respond when walking in on this scene, of which dad-boss "seemed" quite self-conscious being observed in. I felt sick to see this, and asked what family-dog had done. Dad-boss told me, but seemed embarassed I'd witnessed HIS loss of temper. I found a good excuse to take family-dog out of the house on an errand, and loved and reassured him, but wonder what other nannies might have done unde these circumstances. Should I have said something directly to dad-boss about how hitting a defenseless pet is not appropriate or acceptable?

37 comments:

Anonymous said...

It is only natural for the dog to eat food he finds on the floor in a dish. Your employer sounds like an idiot.
I imagine your facial expression on seeing him hitting the dog said it all. Let's hope he got the message.
I think a person's true character can be seen in the way they treat animals.
A Nanny

Anonymous said...

If someone has the propensity to hit an animal like that, I can only imagine the would do the same to their child.

OP
Have you ever seen this jerk hit his kids?

mnanny said...

As a nanny who has two dogs of my own and also cares for the family's dog during the day, this post kills me. It is disgusting when a human hurts an animal.
Thank you for caring for the dog and giving it the love and reassurance that it needs.
The dad should be embarrassed. Maybe you could say something about moving the cat food when it is not eating it to be sure this doesn't happen again.

Anonymous said...

I'm so sorry you were put in that situation. I really don't know what I would have done. You could try bringing it up when Dad is calm and say that you do not agree w/ treating the dog that way. Tell him that animals only understand if they are scolded while caught in the act and yelling is enough, no hitting is necessary. I have only hit my pet ONCE and it was because my cat scratched me when I was half asleep on the couch. I refelxed my hand back knocking my poor boy hard on the nose. I felt SO guilty. He looked hurt and shocked and kept shaking his head. I can't imagine doing that intentionally over and over. *sigh*

Phoenix said...

Yup, I would have spanked my dog too. My dog ate the cats food. Cat food does not sit well with dogs it is too rich and they will get the runs all over the house.
He didnt punch the dog- you said it was open handed. It is the same as spanking a child. The dog yelps because hes scared not as much hurt.
I had a german shepard that tried to eat my kittens. They were about 4 weeks old and all of his hair stood on end and he growled and tried to rush them. I beat that dogs butt to save my kittens. This is the only time I have ever lost my temper with an animal, but I couldn't just sit there and watch my babies get killed.
I think that just like kids there are good times and bad to use spanking.
I love animals and I refuse to stand by while people abuse them. However I think that spanking is okay as long as he didn't punch the dog in the face or kick him. And as long as the little guy is walking around okay and not limping or whinning then he didnt get hurt.

Anonymous said...

Pheonix, are you serious? Why didn't you put your dog up in another room? How is this his fault? He sees a new animal coming into HIS home, what's he supposed to think? It's only natural he'd get territorial.
As for you thinking it's ok for this dad to hit his dog ..... same thing. Why allow the dog to have access to the cat food?! We have our cat food up on a table in the utility room, out of the dogs reach. This was the dad's fault!

Phoenix said...

In response to putting my dog in another room. That was not his problem. These were not new additions, those kittens were born in my house and he had been around them the entire time. It was a relfex reaction. I had to step in between an 80 lb dog and my babies. This dog has attacked my other dogs as well. He was a rescue from an abusive family. We had to part with him because he was showing signs of aggression towards my bf son.
I didn't say that dad was right in letting the cats food be in reach, but at the spur of the moment the dog got a spanking. I still maintain that a spanking is okay as long as it's swift and painless. Sometimes that's all you can do.
OP- you should suggest moving the cat food. It is a good idea since it really can hurt the dogs stomach. And as long as you don't see this as repeated behavior in hitting the animal then it should be fine. If it happens once a year then it was for a good reason. If he does this to the dog everyday be worried.

Anonymous said...

Pheonix
Maybe you mean well, I don't know. I'm just really sensitive to ANY animal being smacked or hit.
That is very sad your dog went through all that hell being abused, only to come to another home, get hit .... and then get sent away. But if there are other animals and children at risk, I understand that you had to get rid of him. But I still say it's wrong to ever hit an animal. I think that if it's something done regularly over time, it makes them aggressive. You weren't clear in your other post that this dog was a danger to others, and you'd had several problems with him.

Phoenix said...

Yes and it was sad I did love him so much. But he was just plain mean. it was like he was rushing my kittens I had to leap in between them and he landed on top of me. I had to lift his front end off the ground and shove him away into a wall. He bit my hand and I started bleeding. then he started to lunge at the kittens again and I had to kick his rear leg and he finally stopped.
I love animals too and I don't think they should be abused, but sometimes there is no other way. I had to save the babies. I felt bad but as I was bleeding all over my carpet and my three little ones are screaming scared to death and mama cat looked like she was going to freak out on me at any moment. I knew that there was no other way. I treat my animals like my kids so it was like this big mean nasty dog was trying to rip the heads of my babies.
He was not brought to my home to be hit but I was hurting one animal to save three precious little lives. I guess it would be hard for people to understand. I will defend myself by all means on this because of my stand on animal cruelty. I do not tolerate it. I have many animals and they are treated like my kids. But this dog was like a bad teenager with anger issues.

Victoria Anne said...

He is not your dog. MYOB.

Anonymous said...

victoria anne,

go smoke another one.

and then blog about it.

Anonymous said...

Poor little dog - in the same way that people should say somehting when seing somebody hit or abuse a child, I strongly believe the same should be said when seing somebody hiting or abusing an animal.

AND as for you, Victoria Anne - why don't you move away from this site and into some animal cruelty blog, I am sure that is more your thing.

Anonymous said...

Thanks Pheonix. I just got a bad feeling when I read your first post. But I can understand, there are some bad pets out there, and there's nothing you can do to save them once they get that way.

Anonymous said...

Hopefully, the dog is now in a home with no other pets or young children. It sounds like he needed to be put in a home with just one person. And hopefully, a large yard where he can run around and play.

Phoenix said...

We kept tabs on him because we didn't just want to give him away I still loved him. I would give the new owners food and stuff to care for him. Aparently he devloped a nerological disorder that the vet described as doggy MS. He went paralized in his back end and finally passed. I went to the new owners house to see him one day and they told me that he had died at the vets a day earlier. We got him cremated and he is back in our home where he belongs. It was very sad giving him up but I had to do what was best for everyone at the time.

I thank you for your concern you seem to be as much an animal lover as I am. They are family. I have never given away an animal before him. But I know that he is in a better place without pain and suffering. He is happy now and that makes me smile.

Anonymous said...

There are other ways to correct an animal besides kicking and hitting.
I grab them by the scruff of the neck like thierown mothers did and talk firmly to them. NO, not good. When you rbing an animal into ahouse that has been abused you do not bring them into a house with other pets and especially children.
OP your boss is an Ahole and I bet he slaps those kids around too. The only way to protect that dog is to make damn sure the kittys food is off hte floor, or find a place for the kittys food that the dog can't reach. Poor thing.

Phoenix said...

4:16 I understand you are passionate about your position. But if I would have grabbed an 80 lb german shepard by the scruff of the neck and said no he would have bit my face instead of my hand.

i don't like your tone. Don't presume to know my situation regarding abused animals. I have rescued many abused animals and this is the only one I had a problem with. I think that it may have been related to his disease that was damaging his spinal cord. His abuse was what made him mean but I think his disease made him crazy. It was undiagnosed until it happened. Just like MS. Every animal is different and he wasn't always like that it progressivly got worse and that was the breaking point.

Miserly Bastard said...

There is nothing wrong with spanking a misbehaving animal; deal with it, or quit.

Anonymous said...

Pheonix
I think 4:16 meant the OP, not you. You explained yourself.

Anonymous said...

MB
So does that mean your wife gets to spank YOU when you misbehave?

Anonymous said...

Original Poster, here. I've witnessed the dad hit one of his children once, and only once. It was in response to the older boy deliberately tripping his younger brother, making him fall on a hardwood floor. The dad slapped the older boy in the face. It was a reflex-response, and dad immediately apologized to his boy for hitting him, but....justified it by pointing out how bad the boy's act of aggression toward his little brother was. I know, I know...mixed messages all over the place. Such is the nature of this family.
Besides the dog-hitting incident I mentioned in my original post, I have witnessed the dad and older son both "lightly" (or NOT so lightly) kick at the little dog to get him out of their way. It is rude, mean, and disrespectful because all that little dog wants is some attention and affection from these people. They bitch about having to walk him, about how much he barks, about what he chews up, about how inconvenient having a dog is for them, about what a general pain in the ass he's being. As a result, and in response to all this griping, I've been offering repeatedly to take him off their hands for more than 6months. Guess what...? Today I becamce a dog owner!!!!Yay, Yahoo, and Praise to the God of All Dogs! I am one happy woman! Thanks to all who responded to my concerns on this topic. Blessings and doggy kisses to you all!

Anonymous said...

Wait a minute! Are you saying YOU now have the SAME dog that was hit by the dad??

Anonymous said...

OP, did you adopt their dog? If so, you completely rock! What a perfect solution to a crappy situation!!

Happy weekend everyone! (=

Anonymous said...

OP here....YES! I adopted this wonderful, loving, well-behaved, dream of a dog. He's been to my home many, many times, as I was asked to dog-sit on weekends and during family vacations. That's why we're so bonded to each other, not to mention I've been over-compensating for all the neglect he's received at the hands of his original "family". The family is planning a move across the country and do not want the hassle of taking him with them. I've been encouraging them for at least 6 months to let me adopt him and - FINALLY!- the timing seemed right to them.
As I sit here typing this, my new best friend is in my living room "living-it-up", chasing his squeeky ball all over the place! He's a happy dog, and I feel lucky to be HIS best friend. Thanks again, everyone!

Anonymous said...

As a nanny and dog owner I'm so glad this story has a happy ending! OP, it's great you adopted this dog...my dog had also been treated badly by his previous owners but now 3 years later he is very happy and having a great life!

Anonymous said...

OP
This sounds too perfect and good to be true. How is it in less than 24 hrs. from the time you catch this a-hole of a dad popping this pup, that you now have possession of it?
I really, really hope this is real. I want to believe every part of this story, and because it gives me warm fuzzies, I will.

Thank you for coming to this dogs rescue. He must've had a lot of Angels smiling down upon him.

UmassSlytherin said...

I hate it when people hit animals and kids. It totally sucks. I think if you do this stuff you are misguided and mean.

And you should get in trouble and stuff. And have your kids or pets taken away.

LindaLou said...

i'm glad you have the dog now, OP.

obviously, it's not okay to hit a dog like that. it's disgusting and abusive. and don't even let me get started on a grown man who slaps a child across the face. i'd never be able to work for such completely dysfunctional @$$hats. just reading about the whole thing pisses me off.

Anonymous said...

I felt vomit rise in my throat when I read over the part where he smacked the kid in the mouth.

OP, it's enough that you were witness to that one incident. Trust me, it isn't the only time this piece of crap has hit his son.

And his son will NEVER forget he was smacked in the mouth. That's a completely different kind of assult. I hope as soon as this kid turns 18, he leaves and never looks back.

My mom told me that when she was 11 y.o., her mom smacked her in the mouth .... she is now 73, and has never forgotten.

Anonymous said...

OP, such a happy ending. Since the family is moving, I wish you luck in finding a wonderful new family, one that doesn't hit their children and pets!

Anonymous said...

The family I work for has a dog and I dont know I could work for someone who would smack their dog around. I have dogs and it would literally devastate me to witness this. Hitting dogs or kids is just not the way to go. It solves nothing.

Anonymous said...

OP here. I just want to assure anyone who doubts the truthfulness of this account that it IS 100% factual.
More than 6 months ago, I'd offered to adopt this dog because no one - I mean NO ONE - in this family loved or appreciated or wanted to care for him. The liked the "idea" of having a dog...but not the responsibility, and they had no clue what a jewel of dog they had. The kids would pet him or play with him only when I told them too, for about a minute and a half, at most. The dad basically ignored him or kicked him out of his way in passing or yelled at him to "shut-up!". The mom would grudgingly walk him (and bitch about it every day) because the child for whom the dog was given made excuses or grumbled even louder than she did. No one really wanted to care for him, but their pride and selfishness (worry about what their friends might think, I believe) prevented them from admitting it and doing what what right for the dog.
I was strung-along for 6 long months, only because they didn't HAVE to make a decision...they had me there, afterall, 5 days a week, (and lots of extra weekends when I'd take him home with me to pet-sit) to do the majority of the work,anyway. I hated the Monday's when I didn't have to pet-sit because that little dog was so obviously needy and neglected. When I found out they planned to move across country, my first question was, "what about the dog"? Momboss stated she'd hoped my offer to take him was still open, and "maybe this would be the best 'excuse' for letting him go". Every week I asked again if she'd made a decision about him. I really felt certain she had NO intention of taking him with them, but she refused to give me a straight answer, and even began encouraging the kids to bond with him, of all things! THAT was the most bizarre thing about this story, to me. Then, 2 weeks ago, when I asked AGAIN, she finally admitted the dog would be better off with me. I jumped on that and suggested I take him right away, bring him to work daily, but home with me every night, so the kids would get use to me having him. Mind you, they are now down to 4 weeks from their move, but still she put me off with lame excuses. I began to worry she might just change her mind afterall. Then, this past week, the incident with dad hitting the dog happened, and so I stepped up my campaign, asking first thing in the morning and again before I left for the day if didn't she think it time to make the transition so the kids would be use to me having the dog by the time they moved away? I went to work yesterday (Friday) determined to give her an ultimatum that, if she really intended to give me the dog, it had to happen that day, or not at all. As it turned out, when I arrived and asked about the dog, as usual, I was told I could take him home with me at the end of the day. I collected every single bit of dog "stuff" they had, all his food and treats, and loaded up my car right then and there, so at the end of the day all that was left to go was the dog himself. And, here we are. I'm happy to tell this story because it really IS a happy ending, and about the only sane thing to have happened to me during my time of employment with this family. Darling Dog is stretched out, sleeping on his back on my best chair, totally relaxed and finally HOME.

mpp said...

"Darling Dog is stretched out, sleeping on his back on my best chair, totally relaxed and finally HOME."


OP,
How sweet! I'm so glad the dog has a nice new home with you.

Anonymous said...

Hitting an animal is not acceptable. Dogs can't really connect punishment to crime. For example, if he goes to the bathroom on the floor, you can't find it and shove his nose in it as punishment; he won't understand why he's in trouble. He'll feel bad as he tries to wrack his poor little brain as to WHY he got yelled at, but he won't understand.

If you catch him in the act, you can punish him a LITTLE. And after all, ALL this dog did was eat cat food. Not good for him, but not the end of the world. He wasn't trying to bite, wasn't tearing up the couch, nothing. Just ate cat food. My dogs eat cat POOP and I don't smack them.

sprak said...

This post upset me because the father is an example of the worst kind of pet owner. I am thankful the dog has a new and happy home. Good for you and have fun with your new pet. I know you will!

As a side note to all who are thinking of getting a family pet, I urge you to consider adopting a pet from the Humane Society or other rescue agency. There are countless dogs and cats waiting to find a good home and, lately, the adoption rate has gone way down, perhaps affected by the ongoing economic crisis.

mom said...

Yikes. There was pet food on the floor and the dog ate it? And the man hit the pet for eating pet food left on the floor? My dogs would eat anything left on the floor...so instead of leaving food there and beating them, we just don't put what we don't intend for them to eat down there. Duh. Is this dad not very smart or something?

MY husband went to an Indian Guide swimming party with our son once at somebody's house. He came home extremely early, clearly in shock about something. He said, "None of our children are ever to go over to that house again...EVER! Seems the large dog they had roaming the backyard during the party was unfortunate enough to have wandered into a circle of parents sitting in lawn chairs talking....which prompted the dad of the house to pick the dog up by the tail (and maybe by the neck also...but it was the swinging by the tail that horrified him most. I think the dog was so large he was astounded that the tail didnt rip right off) and HURL IT FORCEFULLY as far as he could chuck it across the yard. My husband got up, got our son out of the pool and left, along wiht his best friend and his son. This was about a dozen years ago and they were just speaking about it again a couple of weeks ago...how horrific the experience was. And it had to have happened repeatedly because the guy was apparently unashamed and unphased, simply went on with the conversation as if he hadn't just severely abused an animal in fromt of dozens of witnesses.

Looking back, somebody should have called animal control.

W.P.N said...

It would turn my stomach to work for someone who hit their dog. It would put me off on many levels. I agree this shows bad character I would not want to see that and it would upset my day.

I am in agreement with 'mom' maybe if this continues call animal control. I mean if this is a regular thing.

W.P.N

aka

Wannabe Police Nanny