Did your nanny take your child to the Bronx Zoo on Monday, June 2? I was there with my son's 2nd grade class as a chaperon and I saw your nanny and child. Nanny was black and wore skin tight leggings and some type of t-shirt. She wore her hair up in some type of bun with some reddish fake hair some how twisted in. I only saw the back of your child's head. Light brown hair with wave in it. The nanny drove a greenish gray Land Rover. I didn't see too much but obviously the little girl was in trouble. Because what I saw was this nanny fiercely pushing her in her stroller to the car and what I heard was some long, Jamaican sounding rant that was not even understandable by myself, an English speaker, but that sounded really loud and really mean. She got to the car and I was watching her put the child into the car from the side. She had the door open and I could hear her really letting the girl have it. The girl was crying and at one point she yelled "No, and then really started to cry as if she had been hit or pinched or something." It was such a sweet, pathetic, terrified little cry. I don't know if your nanny actually touched the child out of sight but she was intimidating and scary. I cannot imagine that the little girl is anything but terrified of this nanny with her mean, horrible voice. The little girl looked to be about 2-3 by size and the fact she was in stroller. I tried to get a look at the license plate but was standing with my son's class as they were being loaded onto the bus and therefore couldn't leave my spot. Hope someone knows who this is and checks that nanny.
Thursday
Bronx Zoo in Bronx, NY
Received Thursday, June 5, 2008
Did your nanny take your child to the Bronx Zoo on Monday, June 2? I was there with my son's 2nd grade class as a chaperon and I saw your nanny and child. Nanny was black and wore skin tight leggings and some type of t-shirt. She wore her hair up in some type of bun with some reddish fake hair some how twisted in. I only saw the back of your child's head. Light brown hair with wave in it. The nanny drove a greenish gray Land Rover. I didn't see too much but obviously the little girl was in trouble. Because what I saw was this nanny fiercely pushing her in her stroller to the car and what I heard was some long, Jamaican sounding rant that was not even understandable by myself, an English speaker, but that sounded really loud and really mean. She got to the car and I was watching her put the child into the car from the side. She had the door open and I could hear her really letting the girl have it. The girl was crying and at one point she yelled "No, and then really started to cry as if she had been hit or pinched or something." It was such a sweet, pathetic, terrified little cry. I don't know if your nanny actually touched the child out of sight but she was intimidating and scary. I cannot imagine that the little girl is anything but terrified of this nanny with her mean, horrible voice. The little girl looked to be about 2-3 by size and the fact she was in stroller. I tried to get a look at the license plate but was standing with my son's class as they were being loaded onto the bus and therefore couldn't leave my spot. Hope someone knows who this is and checks that nanny.
Did your nanny take your child to the Bronx Zoo on Monday, June 2? I was there with my son's 2nd grade class as a chaperon and I saw your nanny and child. Nanny was black and wore skin tight leggings and some type of t-shirt. She wore her hair up in some type of bun with some reddish fake hair some how twisted in. I only saw the back of your child's head. Light brown hair with wave in it. The nanny drove a greenish gray Land Rover. I didn't see too much but obviously the little girl was in trouble. Because what I saw was this nanny fiercely pushing her in her stroller to the car and what I heard was some long, Jamaican sounding rant that was not even understandable by myself, an English speaker, but that sounded really loud and really mean. She got to the car and I was watching her put the child into the car from the side. She had the door open and I could hear her really letting the girl have it. The girl was crying and at one point she yelled "No, and then really started to cry as if she had been hit or pinched or something." It was such a sweet, pathetic, terrified little cry. I don't know if your nanny actually touched the child out of sight but she was intimidating and scary. I cannot imagine that the little girl is anything but terrified of this nanny with her mean, horrible voice. The little girl looked to be about 2-3 by size and the fact she was in stroller. I tried to get a look at the license plate but was standing with my son's class as they were being loaded onto the bus and therefore couldn't leave my spot. Hope someone knows who this is and checks that nanny.
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I'm not sure why everyone hires these Jamaican women. Their culture is different and they are not likely to interact with your child in a way that we deem appropriate because they were not treated that way as children. Most of the time we see horrible childcare providers, they are speaking with a clearly Jamaican accent. I hate to single out an ethnicity, as I am very aware there are horrible mean nannies and mothers of all ethnic backgrounds. But, I just don't think it is customary to these women to treat children the way we think is right in the United States. Why are you all hiring them??
sarah..what do you think about Mexican moms/nannies>
They pinch, pull braids/hair and pull by the ears.
They let the kids run unsupervised through stores opening/playing with toys they have no intention of buying.
They yell shut up at the kids tell them they are fat and then bribe then"oh, you don't love me anymore, i'll give your toys to"paco, the little boy across the street!
What is wrong with us as a society that we allow this?
104 here again, let me clarify, I am well aware that we have white trash mommies/nannies ..black trash mommmies/nannies and many others that are horrible too, but where I live all I see are Mexican moms/nannies doing this!
obviously where sarah lives she sees mainly Jamaican nannies doing this!
I come from a neighborhood of mostly west Indian, Jamaican, and hatian people. If these parents werent being so cheap and hiring immigrants off the books, they wouldn't have a problem. It has nothing to do with race people. My neighbor is west Indian and my daughter has never been treated so loved. Check credentials and stop hiring random Jamaican ladies. Make sure that their form of discipline matches yours. Is that so hard?
Gosh, these posts make me sad. And they make me feel icky. Geez.
I agree, 1:30. It is not an issue of race. Some of the comments made here sort of suck. How the hell do you know how Jamaicans are treated as kids? Every family is different.
If you screen these people, do drop-ins, and really spend some time getting a LEGAL employee, you should have some luck. But it sort of makes me sick how people can be so prejudiced against a certain group of people.
I live in a metro area, in a major US city, and so there are tons of minorities. I have worked in childcare centers with and known childcare providers of all different races. It depends on the person. To say that all mexican mothers and nannies tell kids they're fat and stuff and yell at them and pull hair?
Geez.
That's so freaking ignorant. And offensive. It really is. I hope it was a joke. Even though as a joke it sort of sucks.
I am sorry but this has everything to do with race> Different races/cultures treat children differently. They discipline defferently and what is acceptable to one race or culture is not always acceptable to others!!
get your head out of your ass anon 130pm
if you would stop trying to be so damn PC you would see that sometimes race has everything to do with evrything!
1:37, I agree.
Race has nothing to do with this...The only reason race is being brought up is because you happened to notice a Jamaican woman behaving badly. If there was a Jamaican, Indian, mexican etc etc behaving WELL (i.e. living up to your perfect lily white standards), you wouldn't bat an eyelash. In situations like this we just focus on the negative and when the negative is DIFFERENT from us we make it a race issue. There are plenty of white nannies behaving badly and THEIR race or CULTURE is never brought into question.
Racial and cultural differences have a lot to do with a lot of things...just not in this case.
Haha I have NO idea why I said EYELASH instead of EYE. You know what I meant.
Sure there are differences in different races and in the way they raise their kids. Often these differences can be a great thing. It's a great thing to expose your child to a different language and a different culture. That is, if you like that sort of thing. The whole not being racist sort of thing.
As far as discipline, you as an employer need to be clear about your own discipline style and if you cannot communicate that effectively to your nanny, and if the nanny is unable to meet your needs, then it is not a good nanny for you. It really doesn't have anything to do with race. If a woman is kind and skilled and loving and intelligent and really wants the job, she will want to meet your needs, regardless of how she handles her own kids.
I am not going to turn this in to an anti Jamiacan post but I am curious about one thing. What do the jamaican nannies bring to the table? they come here at a young age, they haven't even attended a high school, let alone graduated. If they have childcare experience, it is taking care of their own children which they so easily leave with some relative in Jamaica to come here and make american dollars. And you cant do a background search on a Jamaican. even if they are recently US, all of their crime is back in jamaica, maybe. Seems like such a scary choice. I know there are some really good jamaican nannies but they are the minority. So why are the majority of nannies jamaican? it doesnt make sense and it shows just how much respect parents have for their own children.
This nanny 'sounds' bad. But from your view OP, are you sure?
Now to the post at 154, parents who dont respect to their children (lie to them, leave them with cold, steely bitches) end up in dilapidated nursing homes begging some crystal methhead nursing assistant to change their shitty diaper and wondering why their children never call or visit.
I've never seen a Jamaican nanny. I've also never come across a bad nanny...In fact, when I am out with my charge I rarely ever see nannies, period. I guess it has a lot to do with where you live and work. I work in an upper middle class suburb but I think a lot of people may send their kids to daycare or be stay at home mommies. I see mommies EVERYWHERE. For every nanny or two I see out, there are probably 12-15 mommies. I think that's where a lot of my disbelief stems from when it comes to some of the bad nanny sightings I see on here. I couldn't even fathom seeing some of things that have been reported. I take my charge to a park and the few nannies I see are SUPER involved and right on top of things. In fact, the only "park bench" people I notice are pregnant mommies and grandparents...and being knocked up and being old are pretty good reasons to sit on your ass :-)
I grew up around Mexicans, and while the culture isn't as "feel goody" and "shiny rainbow stars for everyone" as some yuppies want to think we live in, it isn't bad at all. I've never had my hair pulled, seen hair pulled, seen serious hitting, or been allowed to run around rampant.
Granted, some Mexican families do let their kids run around rampant. So do European, African, Asian, whatever families.
Anyway, I was ALWAYS treated better by my Mexican family than by my blood-related white family.
Don't judge people you don't know. And you don't even know that woman is Jamaican; she only has the Caribbean accent.
She was wrong, no doubt, in being so mean to, and possibly hurting, that poor little girl. She maybe should even be fired. But you don't know.
I gotta say, this strikes me as a racist post just the way OP describes the nanny like she was a weird alien.
"some kind of hair.. in some fake colour. some kind of blah blah blah. horrible voice! Some sort of blah blah"
Or perhaps this person just lacks the brain power to make a solid description.
, UMASLYTHERIN..No..NO joke..it is disgusting as a matter of fact...george lopez has a comedy special called"why you crying?"..his comedy comes from real life..true stories..true childhood memories
you do not have to like it..but it is a real look at Mexican familes and how they treat their children.
If you are offended by the post categorizing mexicans, you are not owning up to reality.
Race does have alot to do with things in life..like it or not!
I was very clear to state that other cultures/races have white trash syndrome too when it comes to raising there kids..but lets face reality folks..stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason.
and many..okay not all....many,many mexican mommies and daddies need to figure out that here in the good old US OF A we do not pull kids by the hair or ears..we do not yell shut up at them the entire time they are in the store and we most certainly do not nick name our children as fatties!
If you need more..just go to any walmart in any big town here in California and spend 10 minutes in the baby food isle and then you can come back and tell me what you saw!If you are big enough to concede to seeing it!Otherwise go ahead and live in your Leave it to Beaver(or Paco) fantasy land!
In Califonia its Mexicans, where Sarah lives its Jamaicans and in Oklahoma it's probably white trailer trash..but just because you don't like it does not mean I am racist or that it is not real!
The nanny is driving and she is driving a nice vehicle. Most people wouldn't let just anyone drive their child around town. I think the employer of this nanny has been duped.
Sounds to me that this little girl did something wrong. OP you were not there to see the before. This little girl could have refused to leave and they had to. At least she was active and took her to the zoo. the aren't always as innocent as the appear.
Race has nothing to do with it. i know that each culture has their own way of parenting and i respect that. The problem is when a nanny is watching someone eles kid they need to repect the other families values (with judgment of course) Race has nothing to do with anything. Unless you are all racist by profiling how they make bad nannies and bad moms. Well I live AZ and all i see is mexican moms some are great moms, other's aren't.
4:17,
sounds to me as if you're living in la-la land if you think in your "good ol USA" kids don't get treated like that by their "good ol USA" white parents. Child abuse knows no color.
Maybe you missed my earlier post where I said I live in a major US city: an urban environment. I see lots of mexican parents and have worked with them. I do have a point of reference, and fortunately for me, I have been raised by parents who taught me not to be a freaking racist.
you sound naive.
and you're not george lopez.
and you're not mexican.
and you sound not fun.
4:17 - Guess what i live with mexicans! Gasp! I must abuse children. My step-sons mother is straight off the bus from Mexico. She does not treat her kids like that. (I won't say she is a good mom... but she doesn't abuse them)
SO tell me how are you able to tell which Mexican is bad and which one is good.
Get your mind out of the gutter and start thinking before you do anything. you can easily offend anyone. Color has nothing to do with anything when it comes to kids. I don't care if you are blue, if you are abusing a kid then it is wrong.
That George Lopez comedy "why you crying" is hilarious...
If you pay attention to the culture on the street everything he says is almost true... that's why it's funny.
What a strange post. In my experience, although I realize sterotyping anyone in anyway is wrong, I have found this:
Polish Nannies: Pinch, slap, sneaky
Jamaican Nannies: Lazy, obstinate, uncooperative, eat a lot of food regardless of size.
Mexican Nannies: Loving, protective, naturally nurturing but not usually educated in clinical child development.
Phillipino Nannies: mean as snakes
Puerto Rican Nannies: Cold, talk on cellphones all of the time, prone to thievery, not very bright.
White Nannies: Often educated, deviant, prone to marijuana abuse on and off the job.
Peruvian Nannies: Not too bright but warm.
Russian Nanines: Mean, like to drink.
Trinidadians: Petty, Unimaginative and often suffering from circulatory disorders.
Canadians: Ruthless, reckless and demanding with a penchant for lying.
French: Lazy, slow moving, easily bothered, unable to get through most days without extreme guidance.
uma,uma bo buma ..
"why you crying"
"you wanna Happy Meal"
"I'ma take you to the dressing room right now"
"why you cryin cavarone?"
"I barley touched you.
mita..yu want a reason to cry?"
Uma, uma bo buma..you are right,,I am no George Lopez..but he is funny as hell and you..think you know who I am but your post proves different.
no, 6:15, I don't know who you are and I'm freaking glad because you sound like an ass. god help your kids.
216..reverse racism..I love it! What are you a self proclaimed Mexican-American?
Give me a break..you are as racist as the day is long.
Sorry your white ,by blood only, family does not treat you good. Maybe they just don't like whiny mexican'ts...maybe they have no problem with Real Mexicans! or
maybe one of them heard you refer to them as your "white,related by blood only, family and did not like it!??
phoenix..yes, everything he says is true..just my point!!
And as far as your question"how do you tell who the good one's are and who the bad one's are?"
The bad ones are the one's I have described here. Pulling hair, calling their kids Gordies and Gorditas and pulling ears!!Telling their children they are worthless and yelling shut up the entire time they are in the store..they my dear are the bad one's!!
And you don't have to try so hard..I really don't care if you live with mexicans or not!
I said specifically that I am well aware there are horrible nannies and mothers of all races. Everyone on this blog is always telling stories of abuse and then pointing out that the nanny had a clearly Jamaican accent. Is that not true?
The Jamaican women and men who have been in classes I've taken in school and that I've talked to just because I am a nanny also have mentioned that respecting your parents means doing exactly what they say in their culture. One woman told me she would have been in huge huge trouble for ever talking back to her parents the way that the children in her care talk to her.
This has made me draw the conclusion that their culture does not make them good care providers for AMERICAN children. Our values are a little different -- that's fine.
I was not being racist. That is the facts.
I'm white and I'm American and my parents taught me that respecting them when I was a child was doing exactly what they say. I too would have been in big trouble for talking back to my parents.
How in Hell have you come to the conclusion that these are Jamaican values? They are values of strict parents.
And there are lots of different types of nannies reported on this blog, not just ones with accents.
um ass..sorry typo..umasslytherin..you need to lighten up, read the posts for what they are and quit acting like you know who everyone is and what they are all about.
stop your crying!
you are one of those posters who can never back up your weak ass posts ,so you automatically attack the person who disagrees with you!
Find a little sass and witt and then you might become interesting!
Race and culture are two different things. Child rearing practices are not genetic, they are cultural.
It is sad to see so much bigotry, and ignorance on a site that is meant to further the well being of children.
I just said how I came to that conclusion.
At least once a day someone on this blog writes a story about an abused child and mentions that the nanny had a clear Jamaican accent. I am not the one who wrote any of the stories.
I am asking why they are being hired when they act this way?
It isn't a secret that they are Jamaican.
If the stories were the same and everyone was mentioning that the nannies had a French accent, I would be asking the same question about everyone hiring French girls.
I was just posing a question and I thought we could have an insightful discussion. I didn't know everyone was going to be douche bags about it.
Great art elicits an emotional response from its viewer. If John Barnard’s photo exhibit at St. Francis College, “Nannies of Brooklyn Heights,” was meant to provoke feelings about a number of issues including race and class relations, it’s a resounding success.
One would expect a show entitled “Nannies of Brooklyn Heights” to pay homage to the hard-working women who partner in raising the offspring of their affluent employers. Instead, Barnard places focus on the children who are being cared for by using titles that make them the center of attention (i.e. “Six Toes and Looking for Candy”).
Whether Barnard is using his titles as a sleight of hand is up to the individual. But what appears to be an accounting of neighborhood caregivers documents far more than that — a huge racial divide. Every nanny is black and all of the children are white. That, along with the way the pictures are composed, recalls the turn-of-the-century work of photographers Henry P. Moore and Rudolf Eickemeyer, Jr.
Read the full article here:
http://brooklynpaper.com/stories/30/21/30_21heightslowdown.html
What sweet nanny goat a go run him belly....
to the latter 702 poster..no shit race and culture are two different things and if we were talking hereditary diseases your case might hold water, however,
it is commonly known that certain races are affiliated with certain cultural traits and thus they are for the purpose of this post they are one in the same1
I had a nanny once who was from Jamaica. I thought she was okay, although I got the feeling she resented me, perhaps for my whiteness, my rules or my insistence that she stay late on Thursdays. She was a bit hard to understand so I consulted a professor at NYU who broke down some of the phrases and words she spoke that I had a problem understanding.
BAFANG: a child with coordination problems who doesn't walk or crawl on time.
BAG-O-WIRE: an employer who betrays you.
BONG BELLY PICKNEY: a greedy child who eats too much.
BUCKY MASSA: master over the slaves
CHO: common expression used to express annoyance or impatience.
CRAVEN: greedy
CRAVEN CHOKE PUPPY :greedy person who wants everything but when she gets it cant manage it.
DEAD HOOD: A man that can't perform sexually. (pronounced Dead-ood you dont sound the H)
DOGHEART: a person who is especially cold and cruel
FEEL NO WAY: don't take offense
FISH: gay person. Said as 'him a fish'
FUCKERY: unfair
HARBOUR SHARK: Gluttonous lothario, greedy bastard.
KETCHY-CHUBY-most used as a euphanism for sex.
MAAMA MAN: a gay person, an effeminate man, a weakling
MAMPI: Fat
PYAKA: tricky or dishonest.
PUM-PUM: a woman's genitals
RED EYE: to want another persons belonging, envious. "You too red eye"
RENK: foul-smelling, raw-smelling.
RUNNING BELLY: diarrhea
SAMFAI MAN: trickster, big beaked conman.
SANFI: An ugly manipulator - dishonest person. A person that will sweet talk you out of love and money. "Dam Sanfi Bitch".
SMADI: somebody
SU-SU: gossip, the sound of wispering.
TEIF: a theif, to steal
TRACE: to curse or speak abusively to someone
WOOD: penis
"Is just pure almshouse a gwaan".
(Pure trickery B going on)
"tan deh!" (just you wait!)
"Bunks Mi Res" (I need my nap)
"Me bleach hard lass night" (I partied hard last night)
"Mi would rada you talk to mi"
( I would rather you not talk to me)
"a peer rumors ah gwan" (It's pure rumors that are being spread)
Hope this helps!
"It was such a sweet, pathetic, terrified little cry. I don't know if your nanny actually touched the
child out of sight but she was intimidating and scary."
Sorry but this is lame. As a nanny I have really had to raise my voice and you bet it often happens when it's time to leave a place. And you should really hear some of our arguments over getting into the carseat.
I love the little boy I watch and would never, ever abuse him. But you better believe sometimes he and I disagree and I do yell, and sometimes he does tell me no. You can't reason with children this age so the conversations do get loud, I admit. Sorry it's not perfect but we are human.
You didn't have to deal with that child and you don't know whether or not the woman had good reason to be irritated and raising her voice. I don't care what anyone says, we have All had those days with toddlers.
More important, you didn't see the nanny do anything, so you can't assume. This site is not called "I heard your nanny" or I didn't exactly see your nanny but I am pretty sure she did someting." NO, it's I SAW YOUR NANNY.
8o8 you need to get another translator because lots of that stuff is incorrect
Another shitty nanny ready to excuse away a slapping pinching poking screaming nanny. Have you paid your nanny dues this month?
wasnt this sighting about a bad nanny and a sad child in a jeep or something. why have you guys strayed from the importance of this post, abuse by a nanny maybe parents dont even know the nanny drove there, come on people concentrate on the importance of ops post not the nationality of the nanny. that is of no matter , what she did is. what is the issue here, nanny nationality or child abuse
JXJ
Your 1:46 comment is offensive.
"Lily white" .... that's just as rude as calling a black person a bad name.
JXJ
You are on a roll tonite.
Are you going to offend every kind of person out there?
Pregnant - knocked up
Grandparent - old
you are rude!
Boohoo. Cry me a river you uptight PC brats.
You know you're not offended. Shut up and lighten up.
How's that for rude?
To Jersey, I thought that was so funny that last sentence you said about being knocked up or a grandparent. It's nice to have some humor on this site.
Everyone needs to lighten the hell up. I'm 6 days clean and I'm not as angry as you folk!
Just why do you love Steve Bartelstein. I heard he's gay. Fine if you are too, but just wondering why you find him so lovable.
Thank you fox in socks...It didn't dawn on me that I could have possibly offended anyone with that, especially when you consider the RACE DEBATE happening all around my comment.
I'm glad at least one person isn't wound tighter than a...forget it. Don't wanna offend anyone else.
8:27 doesn't make sense
anon at 7:02,
stop spewing your drivel. you sound like a 12 year old. I have backed all of my points up effectively. I was merely putting forth an opinion.
I never claimed to "know who everyone is" whatever that means. Actually, I stated that I didn't know you, and that I don't want to know you because I don't want to know anyone who thinks they're better than mexicans. I think that's trashy.
I'm not interesting to you? Oh my freaking god. I'm not interesting to some anon racist poster on isyn?
I'll just have to go and slit my wrists now. It's all over for me.
umass, congrats! you've been attacked by the anonymous bashing troll. you're one of us now! ;)
and ellen, it's really amazing how the *words and phrases you had toruble understanding* came in alphabetical order. maybe the *nyu professor* used same patois dictionary i found online.
*trouble
i hate when that happens.
"Fuckery". I love it! Very expressive :)
So OP saw a black nanny and a white child, didn't like the nanny's clothes or hair and couldn't understand what the nanny was saying, so was afraid of the nanny and ASSumed that the nanny must have physically abused the child once she had finished pushing the child to the car in her stroller.
thanks LL. That's very neighborly of you.
:)
Cali
I was kind of partial to "fuckery" myself, especially now that I know it isn't a bad word! lol
7:38 PM
Thanks, you just proved my point.
7:02
A Question--has there every been a case of someone recognizing their nanny on this site and coming on to tell us about it???? It's just crazy to see bad nanny after bad nanny--and the parents are still clueless to what's going on!
11:49
Yes, actually, there have been quite a few.
*Parents have seen a post and thanked Jane.
*Parents have seen a post, and embarrassed by their Nannies actions, have asked that it be removed.
*Parents actually coming on and defending the alleged "bad" Nanny.
*A Nanny coming on and asking for the post about herself to be removed.
Yep, I think this Blog has probably seen it all ....
um-ass..don't tease!!!!
Here is a little clue for you ms. drama queen
You don't know what the hell you are talking about and again I will state"you don't know anything about me"
Only a few of anonymous posts you are attacking are mine.
So, you are having a hard time with several posters here..not just me...
I do not think I am Better than anyone.
I KNOW I am better than any mommy/daddy/nanny that pulls a kid by the hair or calls them hurtful names like fattie.
In our town, this happens to be Mexicans.In all the walmarts I have ever been in iin California..this happens to be Mexicans.
I don't know what "mexicans" you live with but but as far as your point of reference goes...handing out welfare checks or working in your free clinic does not cut it!I am not speaking of 2nd generation mexica-Americans which I bet ..you are.
Stop crying racism just because someone uses the word Mexican or just because someone dis agrees with you.
I am not a racist.
Prejudice..yes, against ignorant,know it alls like you!
Here is the name of a comedian,
Carlos Mencia. He is mexican. Very funny...but a bit cringeworthy on race issues. No race is spared in his humor...only he gets away with it, I suppose, because he is Mexican and hits them as hard as any other group. He claims he is just being honest. But he says things nobody else dares say out loud. (Sometimes I do literally cringe in my seat...'cause he gets close to crossing lines sometimes.)
He has one particularly funny monologue about being "randomly searched" at the airport. He says something like, "I am more likely to have a rusted out car sitting in my front yard than you. My daughter is less likely to graduate high school and more likely to get pregnant than yours..."(and he goes on and on listing stereotypes that he feels are "earned by his people," on the whole.)Then he says, "But Mexicans do not blow up airplanes!" He says he allows extra time when he drives his expensive mercedes into his old neighborhood to see his mother, for the inevitable drug search that will be conducted on him when the police see a Mexican in such a nice car. He says he understands this and accepts that it is unfortunately true that a great number of times when you see such a car, driven by a Mexican, in such a neighborhood, it will involve drug dealing. But he wants us to be real, and stop searching people at the airport who we have no rational reason to think they personally are a danger.
Anyway, his greater point is that stereotypes are often earned, and that we are all too afraid of being called "prejudiced" to even acknowledge AT ALL that there ARE differences between cultures in the way they do things. It doesn't mean that every single person in any group adheres to certain behaviors, good or bad. It just means that culturally we each have some perceptions that are attached to us (again, some good, some bad)...and some of those ideas are earned by the group on the whole.
Of course, if you judge every person you see based on the stereotypes, without even knowing them as an individual person...well then, you are being a complete ignoramous. But to acknowledge that a stereotype may have some basis for existing is not at all racist. It's just a fact that our society has become too PC to even acknowledge anymore. And that's too bad, because a lot of the cultural differences are unique, wonderful qualities that we miss out on celebrating by refusing to acknowledge cultuaral differences too.
That was me before. I toought I posted with my moniker, but it came up anonymous.
2:25,
You sound like you need to be medicated.
Handing out welfare checks, free clinics? Don't know where that came from. I have worked in childcare with many different races, among them many mexicans. I don't "live" with them, not in my house, anyway. :) I live in the same city, and in the same country as them. Is that what you meant? Regardless, the mexicans I have worked with are no different in their approach to childcare than anyone else: some are good, some not so good. Depends on the person.
And I'm not crying racism just because someone disagrees with me. I welcome anyone to disagree with me. People often do. It's fine. My point, (and I always write who I am responding to by the time they posted, and I never reference multiple anon posts, so you sound as if you're quite confused.) is that to say most mexicans are child abusers is racist. It is a racist comment. Whoever feels that way has a racist viewpoint.
I think it's funny, though, that I have gone from being uninteresting and without wit to being a drama queen.
:)hehe. what a stretch!
Wow. I am amazed some of you women chose to reproduce, what with your racist mindset, fear of other cultures, and basic hatred towards anyone who does not act or look like you. Your kids, I'm sure, will have a harder time in life because of these teachings. I feel very sorry for them.
Wow. The level of racism, ignorance and downright mean-spiritedness on this site really floors me. Barring a few obviously sane and rational commenters, I can't believe that some of these commenters can possibly be grown women with children. I mean, I sure hope some of you batshit crazy ones aren't homeschooling! Or your children will never learn to spell, and probably be a much greater burden on society than the illegal immigrants you profess to hate so much.
4:28
Correct me if I'm wrong, but you are the first person I have seen on this thread to mention hatred.
Somebody's wound just a little bit too tightly....
4:28 (#1)
I'm afraid. Afraid that you're somebody's nanny.
4:33, If you can't see how some of these remarks are downright hateful, I fear that anything further I might say will be completely lost on you. God help your children.
They should really make people take a freaking IQ test before they're allowed to breed.
And you can take your Ad Hominem response and shove it.
When somebody states factually, "I see, with my own eyes, members of a particular group doing X on a regular basis," that is merely an observation and a statement of fact, not a racist statement. if they were to follow with , "Therefore, most, or all, people of this ethnicity do the same," THAT would be a racist statement.
My son called me from college, hopping mad. He wanted to know why he sees so many people of a certain ethncity abusing their children every time he goes to Wal Mart. It is not a group of people that are in plentiful supply where we live, so he had little prior knowledge of their potential cultural customs and no reason to harbor a prejudice against them. He now lives in a place with a high density population of this group and he is not impressed with how they treat their kids. He doesn't say that he doesn't like any other things about them, but he has told me many many tales of witnessed child abuse, and how mad it makes him. It has tainted his view of this group. Earned stereotype or not? I don't know. But the reality is the behavior of the population he has witnessed and lived among has tainted his view and made a young, impressionable person fearful. That said, he would never treat somebody badly because they happened to be of that ethnicity, but he has now formed an opinion, accurate or not, based on his observations of some mebers of that group in a certain community.
Good Lord....
I certainly agree that several of the posts (including, however vaguely, the original) are awfully racist, or at least classist. How can anyone make such mass generalizations about a whole community?
Generally, the kind of people who seek out childcare work are people who have strong ideas about discipline. That has nothing to do with race. Nannying is a stressful job and children can be very trying. An overworked nanny could easily lose her temper, but she doesn't have to resort to violence and the nanny featured in the OP wasn't seen physically hurting the little girl. I once saw my employer screaming at her youngest because he ran away from her and nearly went into the road, who's to say it wasn't a similar situation? I've raised my voice more than once to my Mindees, as a last resort. If you don't, they just don't take you seriously.
I hardly think a cross tone is cause for alarm. My mother used hit me with a wooden spoon and once she stripped my room of all my books and toys (I deserved it though) and I turned out fine. Her mother used to chase her with a red-hot poker. We are all middle-class Irish. Can you blame that on race, or maybe me and my mother were just rotten kids?
I second that!
"When somebody states factually, "I see, with my own eyes, members of a particular group doing X on a regular basis," that is merely an observation and a statement of fact, not a racist statement. if they were to follow with , "Therefore, most, or all, people of this ethnicity do the same," THAT would be a racist statement."
Shutup, you WASP. Still racist. Go back to suburbia.
I don't know 5:02. Were they drunk on Ale at the time? You know what they say about the hot tempered Irish, so I'd say yes, the red hot poker is cultural.
Just kidding. I'm partly Irish too.
Careful 5:06, your ignorance is starting to show.
Go back and carefully read the statement you quoted. It is a simple statement of logic.
And, may I ask what ethnicity you are that makes you so hateful toward WASPs? (You do know that that is a prejudice, right? Just checking. You know, on account of your obvious ignorance, as evidenced above.)
I don't get the problem here.
I raised by a Jew and a baptist, a black and a white, a republican and democrat and every night Dad would beat the shit out of me while mom told me that I would never amount to shit.
But I turned out okay.
It's not about what race beats children more. It's about what race needs to feel more powerful over small people and animals. The majority of who would want to snap a bird's neck, torch a forest or slap a 6 year old? What group of people needs to feel superior over others. That's your answer. That's who.
4:59,
With all due respect, growing up in an area that doesn't have any minorities is a PERFECT reason for someone to harbor prejudice, for the simple reason that they were NOT exposed to minorites, and it is so completely foreign to them.
That being said, you are doing something right if your son is concerned with child abuse and shows sensitivity towards children: he sounds sweet.
I still feel that some of the comments on this board are prejudicial. I'm curious: what was your response to your son? I don't know where you all are from or where he goes to school, but I can guarantee that if he went to school near where I live he would see abuse too: from parents who are black, hispanic, white, and the list goes on.
I think the worst thing we can do is to perpetuate an unfair stereotype by insisting that it is true, to ourselves and to our kids. It only spreads bad feelings among us.
Umass,
I didn't say we didn't have minorities. It was like the UN at our neighborhood public school. It was so mixed that I can't even say what was the majortity. And I was always proud of my kids for being the ones to welcome and befriend new kids at school, literally from all over the world.
What I said was that that group wasn't in plentiful enough supply for him to gain a particular feel about their cultrual customs in general. I did my best to help my kids grow up thinking of all people as equal, and being in such a diverse mixture of people really went along way to helping that happen.
I can't remember what I said to my son. I probably just listened and said that it was sad. He did grow up with some kids of this ethnicity I am now speaking about and was friendly with them, so I don't feel the need to launch into the "not all people of that group are like that" speech. He knows that. But he is seeing terrible things on a regular basis, form one particular group. It makes an impact. My point it that that is where some people, who do not want to be pejudiced, and really do like people, get the ideas they sometimes have.
5:11, it is not simple logic. It's stereotyping groups of people, and it's teaching your child to stereotype. Do you interact with people at all? Of different cultures? I get the feeling that you are a) a WASP and b) in the suburbs already and c) locking your door every night awaiting the Barbarian Invasions. Does it matter what race I am? Well, to you - I'm white, if you must know - and when I say WASP, what I mean is that under-the-collar racism, the snide remarks, the "it's okay if I word it correctly" brand of racism you have. Do you see yourself as better than those "other" people? I get the feeling you do. And I don't care if you think I'm ignorant - I know I am in many arenas - but I'm open to learning, and I'm intolerant of those who refuse to open their hearts and heads to the goodness of others. I especially hate people like you - hiding under the guise of "logic" - go to hell.
5:33 Classy.
5:07 What part? My right hand is Irish -- it's always drawn to the Guiness and darn if it doesn't introduce my mouth to it.
re5:33- c) locking your door every night awaiting the Barbarian Invasions.
but wait my big, black husband locks every door and every window every night so convinced he is that we are going to be victims of a home invasion.
How is that a white thing? And don't you know the ones who alway fear they are going to be stolen from are those with a history of thieven. Do the math. Use the color wheel.
missiechan,
*rotten kids* who *deserved it*? your mother and grandmother were child abusers, plain and simple. you excuse their behavior and condone it. i don't consider that *turning out fine*.
i think focusing in on certain ethnic groups as abusers is stupid. it's not as though most white people don't hit their kids in private. something like 90% of people spank. it's pretty hypocritcal to point out the awfulness of flicking a child in the head, but not the awfulness of beating a child with a belt. it's all abusive as far as i'm concerned.
also missiechan. i find it frightening that you are a nanny and that you yell at your charges or they *don't take you seriously*. if someone else (a teacher or nanny) was yelling at my children, i'd want to know, and i'd kick up a fuss with the school or fire the nanny. you should have better discipline skills than that if you're going to work with children. it's really NOT okay to be yelling at other people, large or small. I'm not going to say that i'm perfect, but on the occasions when i've lost it and raised my voice to my kids, i apologize and make ammends, which is the exact same thing i'd expect them to do. i think your ideas of that is normal are quite off, probably due to your upbringing.
i love steve,
didn't you just get out of rehab? i'm continually amazed at what some people consider *turned out okay.* do you really think you'd have turned out the same had your parents not abuused you? my parents were abusive, and i don't believe that for a second.
5:53 Me too! Cheers!
Lindalou:
90% of people do not spank! That is a ridiculous statement.
Other than that, you make some good points.
Lindalou, you've hit the mark again! The 'I turned out alright' argument is usually the weakest.
People, some of you are missing the bigger picture. What is the one thing that trumps racism in this country? Classism. The PC crowd doesn't want to admit it, but although abuse crosses all lines, it's more prevalent in poorer classes regardless of race. That's why you're going to see it in white trash, hispanics, etc. And guess who's getting hired as nannies in many households? People who've been raised this way and either aren't aware of better alternatives or they just refuse to change.
10:01
"over 90 percent of U.S. parents spank toddlers"
click the link for the full article.
Lindalou, I read the article, and had actually seen it before, and it was interesting, but I didn't see that 90% figure mentioned anywhere.
calimom,
the quote is from the article.
Well, as for turning out fine, I'm in my twenties with a stable job and no criminal record. I've never had any problems with drinking, drugs or any other addictions and every one of the mothers I've worked for over the years has given me a glowing reference. I'd say that's pretty fine, considering my mother was 'abusive.'
Don't worry about the children I look after. When I said I raise my voice, I meant above my usual tone. I have never yelled or screamed at a child, besides my brother when we were small, and I'll never have to. The kids can tell when they've pushed me too far when I get stern with them and they promptly stop whatever they've been doing that was bad.there mother knows and fully supports my disciplinary techniques.
Fact is, if you don't discipline your child someone else will have to. If you don't let that nanny do it, or the teacher or any other caregiver, your child's behaviour will get worse and worse until the person enforcing discipline is a judge. Children aren't perfect little angels, they are little people and people do bad things when they can get away with it.
I somewhat agree with Missiechan and I also know that just from talking to moms, most parents do spank. I do think there is going to be a big reaction against this period of history where people have been afraid to discipline.
But discipline should always be about learning, not punishment. And as nannies, we should be able to use our relationship with the child to discipline. If we are giving the kids plenty of attention on a regular basis, the only discipline you will ever need is to take your attention away from them. In other words, if the child was doing something that upset me, my absense of attention should speak louder than words.
I was not raised very ideally either - I had strict Italian parents who spanked and yelled. I always feared my parents and I don't think I am as confident a person today. Oh well, we can only try to do better than what was done to us.
than you, attention, for saying, *But discipline should always be about learning, not punishment.* i firmly believe that, and i don't think that a lot of people even know the difference. they say *discipline* when they mean *punishment* and punishment should be a very tiny part of the overall picture.
missiechan, why did you put the word abusive in quotes? thanks for proving my point. you condone hitting a child with a wooden spoon. there you go. NOT *fine.*
Since we're talking about ethnicity, and Jane sees every comment here to be fit - let me ask this:
Why are these illegal alien Jamaican or illegal alien Mexican off-the-books nannies always employed by JEWISH MOTHERS FROM THE UPPER WEST SIDE?
Are you really that cheap? You never see illegal alien nannies in Irish or Italian neighborhoods. It's always Jewish mothers who go for the illegal aliens.
Are you really that cheap?
3:56
Are you from the UWS? And I'm thinking maybe you have some money, too, that would enable you to come to this kind of conclusion.
And, are you male?
Can I say that there was a sighting. It sounds sad. BUT this is what this person wrote!
"No, and then really started to cry as if she had been hit or pinched or something."
What does 'something' mean?
Did you see 'something' physical or not! This is the issue here. If I saw something officially abusive you would be rest assured that this nanny would not get away and I would make it my absolute duty to find out who this woman was and exactly what is going on.
Something is just not good enough.
Who knows what happened?
Think about what you saw. An aggressive nanny is oh! so common witnessed on a daily basis. This angers the hell out of me. If you see something follow it through. I understand about not wanting to immediately do anything if you think the situation may elevate but, if you are claiming something inappropriate happened then why on earth is it on this board and not handled there and then.
When I see mothers treating there children badly I hardly ever do anything by myself as so often I just know nothing can be done and frankly the child gets the worse of it later (I learnt this a long time ago in my profession as a nanny and well, as a woman who cares enough about this).
BUT IF YOU KNOW SHE WAS A NANNY then you can do something solid. This post that something may or may not have happened makes me more upset.
I understand you could not leave your class but, come on.
For the record I do not believe in raising my voice or humiliating children. I do not have it in me to be nasty or mean but if there is a dangerous situation or a child has put herself in danger or being outrageously inappropriate then I would be have stern words but, never abuse EVER.
I also feel that whoever is hiring this woman cannot be blind to an abusive nanny. If the child was 3 then you know if your child is terrified. You just know. Children are very simple to read. nannies are easy to read also.
IF IN DOUBT OF YOUR NANNY SWING BY THE PLAYGROUND ONCE IN A WHILE. BUT SERIOUSLY YOU SHOULD NEVER BE IN DOUBT IF YOU HAVE HIRED A WELL CHECKED NANNY WITH OUTSTANDING REFERENCES AND A RESUME!
W.P.N
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