Birthday Blues...

Received Saturday, June 21, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
I had something happen at work, and although I am not a nanny, I do work with children. I know that a few nannies have dealt with what I am about to say, which is why I am posting here. I work in a small preschool, and have been there for almost two months. In the short time I have been there, I have signed six birthday cards, a new baby card, and a going away card. Just a few weeks ago, my boss was handed a sheet with every one's birthday on it. For some strange reason, I didn't get a card or birthday lunch, purchased by the school like the other employees, all who have had birthdays since I started. Every birthday was acknowledged, with the exception of mine, which is Sunday.

An employee who has been there for three years got lunch, a sign on the front door, and acted like the world revolved around her even more, given the fact that she thinks she's perfect and can do no wrong. As she was talking about her party, she kept giving me dirty looks and rolling her eyes, much like she does everyday. Maybe I am making a big deal about this, or am I right to feel upset about this? I work very hard without a TA, am confident that I do a good job, and really don't have enough time to tackle my list for the day, given my class is under two. My boss says she likes what she sees in the classroom, and the parents like me. I am not trying to sound like a spoiled brat, yet every job that I have worked with children and families my birthday was acknowledged-this was the first time it has been forgotten at work. Forgetting my birthday makes me feel unappreciated, much like how a nanny feels when her birthday is forgotten and her bonus/raise is nonexistent or smaller than what it should be. How do I deal with this? I feel bad, like I am not doing a good enough job.


UmassSlytherin said...

I'm really sorry that happened to you! Happy Birthday and big hugs from me! :(
Working in a childcare center is like that sometimes: there are cliques and "popular people." Sorry you got the short end of the stick. It does take awhile sometimes to fit in, and given that you have only been there a short time, there's not much you can do about it but grin and bear it.

What concerns me more than the birthday is what you said about this other teacher giving you dirty looks: sounds like you two have a personality conflict, which also happens in daycare frequently. My advice to you is to try to get along with her, don't gossip within the center, because everything comes back tenfold when gossip occurs. If you really can't get along with this person and she is effecting your happiness on the job, speak privately with your supervisor about it in the office (with the door closed!)Tell your supervisor that you really want solutions as to how to get along with this person. A mediation at this point would be premature, but if it is bothering you let your boss know.

Good luck, and again, happy birthday! :)

LindaLou said...

happy birthday!

maybe they're planning on doing something for you on monday.

Anonymous said...

Happy birthday!

Are you sure they know your birthday? Maybe since you're sort of new, they just don't have your b-day on file. I've been nannying for six months, and the only reason they knew my birthday was because I let it slip to one of the kids.

Anonymous said...

When I've worked in offices and such, the people who got their birthday celebrated were the people that non stop talked about their birthday for the entire two months leading up to it. I usually keep my bday a secret, or just don't really say much about it, and so didn't usually get a celebration. I guess you have to let it be known!! Happy Birthday!

mpp said...

I agree with Lindalou. Maybe it's just a bit premature, and they will be doing something for you ON your Birthday, Monday?
I hope they don't forget you ... it's happened to me (and it does kind of suck) - but, same as you, I'm not the kind to shout it to the rooftops.

Let us know what happens, o.k.?
And .....


Anonymous said...

I guess I'm not understanding why you're upset if your birthday hasn't even happened yet. Like others have mentioned, since it obviously won't be celebrated on a Sunday, it seems to make sense that they'll be doing something for you on Monday.

mom said...

Maybe Monday.


I do the teacher birthdays at school. (Just leave a muffin in the teacher's box on that day.) Some of the birthdays are blank on the sheet I received from the office, for whatever reason. Those people do not get a muffin ;(

maybe oyur birthday is worng on the sheet, or just was overlooked accidentally since you are new.

But then again....maybe Monday!

Anonymous said...

Aw, I'm sorry! Happy Birthday! That's such a bummer, but maybe they'll do something Monday? I guess I would give them the benefit of the doubt for this weekend, and if nothing is done on Monday then I would have hurt feelings too. You should work somewhere where you are respected and treated fairly. Screw the people who try to bring you down.

Sprak said...

For whatever reason, the powers that be may be waiting until Monday to do something for your birthday. If they don't, then I would suspect that there was a clerical or other error of some sort that was the cause and that it wasn't done on purpose. Happy Birthday and I hope you have a lovely day!

Anonymous said...

I settled that problem at work. I made a list of everyones birthday and at the first of the month we get a cake for all who have birthdays that month, we have too many people to do it seperately.
I would ignore the eye roller. Eye rollers are usually a door knob anyway. Kids do eyerolls not adults.
They may do somethingfor you monday so hang on and don't get paranoid , YET . LOL

seattlenanny said...

UGH! Your eye roll girl comment reminds me again why I LOVE being a nanny. There are days I miss having coworkers to talk to and to celebrate important milestones (birthdays, weddings, babies etc..) with. Overall though life is so much less stressful without the eye rollers and trouble makers that I used to teach with.

Happy Birthday OP! I bet they'll do something on Monday!

Jimy Wong said...

I'm late for the special day wish.
But late better than never,Happy Birthday.
Here my honor and respect woman that take care of kids and house keeping.

Anonymous said...

Happy 13th Birthday!

Souveniers said...

I know how you feel! Something that happened to be as a nannny hurt almost worse because I AM a nanny and therefore very close to the family.

For Christmas, I bought each of the three children a gift and for the parents I made a scrapbook.

For the book, I had interviewed the two older girls about a variety of interesting topics and recorderd their answers. I turned it into a cute, funny book and handmade the cover and decorated it.

They loved the gifts very much, especially the book.

In return, after the family got back from a 3.5 week trip out of the country (during which I was only compensated 1/3 of my pay) they brought me three items: A mug, a plastic necklace and a bar of soap. That was my Christmas gift and bonus.

I believe that remembering the small things does go a long way!

Anonymous said...

This happened to me when I worked at a daycare center also. I think working with all women is very difficult. Some of them can be so cliquey and catty. You know what I do on my birthday? I go out and buy myself a present and treat myself! After all, nobody knows what you want better than you! Hope you find a way to enjoy your birthday. And if they do something for you also, that's an added bonus. If not, treat yourself! Happy Birthday!!!

Marissa M. said...

Happy belated birthday to you an screw them. You deserved an aknowledgement of some sort at least.

Remember you don't need to surround yourself by fake people just to make yourself feel better. Did you really want a card or cake if it comes from insincerity? Screw them. Go and do something special for yourself and come back monday blurting out all the nice things that you did or got!
You don't need those catty witches.

mpp said...

...... OR, you could do it Marissa's way! lol

Hell, why not? We all deserve to do something special for ourselves once in awhile.
I know it would make you feel better to have your Birthday recognized by your co-workers, but at least you still have your friends and family, right?
Surround yourself with them.

Anonymous said...

Bring in some of your "leftover" birthday cake to share with everyone on Monday. Happy Birthday!!!!!!! I hope you had a wonderful day =)

cali mom said...

Well, I kind of agree with those who suspect they may do something Monday, but if not: Discreetly take a peek at the birthday list that was compiled and see if the info is correct. If not, there's the answer. If so, you know where you stand with these people, who should treat each employee equally in this sense if they are going to celebrate employee birthdays at ALL. I worked at a place like that and it was mostly populated by total a%*@~+=es.

But there's not much you can do about it if you want to be seen as professional, other than perhaps casually mention how much fun you had on your birthday on SUNDAY (happy b-day BTW :) ) to your most trusted and favorite coworker that you regularly chat with the most frequently. If she seems surprised that no mention was made of it, just shrug it off and say that you figure since you are such a new employee, they didn't make a big deal of it but that's totally fine with you anyway. And then change the subject.

Anonymous said...

Well ..... let us know what happens to day!

B-I-R-T-H-D-A-Y !!!


Anonymous said...

happy birthday to you!
happy birthday to you!
i know this may not do much, but
happy birthday to you!


Anonymous said...

Well OP ---
What happened?????

Marissa M. said...

10:57 Suggested you bring some left over birthday cake, i think you should purposely say " i was planning on bringing some left over cake but too many people showed up and there was none left!

Anonymous said...

Well, another post that leaves us high and dry.
I wish people would be kind enough to give us an update when we've done our best to give them advice.

I guess we'll never know if OP was recognized by her co-workers on her Birthday .......