Received Wednesday, May 28, 2008 - Perspective & Opinion
Our beloved Nanny/Housekeeper is planning her beautiful daughter's wedding. They just got engaged. My nanny is paid well but she is not wealthy, having put 2 children through college, one child still in and one child preparing to attend. I have known this girl since she was a child and she has always dreamed of a Cinderella style wedding. I would like to help her realize this dream.The problem: Her father is very old-world, old school and proud. My offer to help pay for the wedding was kindly rejected by my nanny and I accept that. However it breaks my heart to hear of difficulty they are having finding a place that is both beautiful and affordable. I was wondering if it would be out of line to offer my home for the reception. It's a lovely restored Victorian, suitable to host a large indoor or outdoor party. I have hosted formal parties here with the same number of attendees as they plan to invite. My grounds are well manicured, with a small bridge, pond and garden; perfect for taking wedding pictures. My chef can arrange the menu to the couple's specifications. So it wouldn't be viewed as charity, they can have my chef purchase the food and hire the wait staff and pay for it or reimburse me, which would be quite a bit less then even the most modest of catering halls. My best friend thinks offering this would be an insult to them, as they have already refused my help. My husband thinks we should offer financial help or this option to the couple directly, but I don't want to make her parents uncomfortable. Does the offer of my home seem tacky?