Thursday

Madison Street Park in Hoboken, NJ

Received Thursday, May 22, 2008 -
nanny sighting logo You need to have a chat with your nannies.
Background:
I am a WOHM in NYC. We let go our nanny of 2 years about 2 months ago. Our child needed a different sort of care now that our daughter is two. Our former nanny did not read to the child, plan activities, participate in activities, like to walk far, want to take the child to any classes or programs, want to work late, want to travel with us, want to participate in potty training, etc. etc. etc. So, we sent her on her was with 4 weeks severance pay, which is double the recommended formula of 1 week for every year of employment for a live out, 2 weeks for every year of employment for a live-in.

Today:
I am home now as we haven't found the nanny we want yet. My arrival at the playground our neighborhood, (Madison Street Park in Hoboken) this afternoon, (5/22) was met with anger. Because I am a working mother, I don't know many of the mothers who would be at the playground on a Thursday afternoon. But your nannies knew me by my child. The two spent the time I was there (which was about 25 minutes) laughing, pointing their finger at my and my child and making rude comments alluding to the suggestion that I treated their friend like garbage. And taunting my presence at the playground by loudly saying, "bitch is never going to find another person to work for her, she should get mighty comfortable pushing that stroller". All sorts of comments again suggesting that the way we treated her friend was unfair.

In truth we gave their friend two more chances and then two more and then another. We liked her as a person but as a nanny she was nearly lethargic. She had bursts of energy but was no match for my child. The nanny has always been in to television, which worked well when our daughter was an infant. Things change. The job description tightened up as our child grew and began to explore and we saw her mind as the hungry sponge it was. So we let the friend go. This is how they treat me because of that? And this is how they treat my child?

These nannies care for children in the same age group as my children and were close witness to their behavior today. The children stared curiously as the two wicked nannies laughed and pointed and swore. I have to wonder if the parents who employ these nannies are comfortable with this sort of behavior around their child. I found their behavior as reprehensible as it was juvenile. I did not feel comfortable enough to approach the duo, so I didn't. I left with my child because the situation was uncomfortable and I was afraid to make it worse.

One of the nanny's is named Alicia or Letisha. She is white or Hispanic, short, with thick dark hair, ruddy skin and bad posture. She was wearing white pants and an orange long sleeved shirt. The other nanny was the louder, more obscene of the two. She is medium height, probably 315-345 pounds with a receding hairline, eyes set close together and a double chin. She wore lots of make up, dressed in black pants and a long black sweater and had a green print scarf around her neck. If these are your nannies, I wonder what you would think of the way they treated their previous play date. And I wonder what you think of the nannies being unkind to your child's previous playmate, a playmate the oldest of your children was desperate to say hello to. The largess nanny held her back. The big nanny watches two children who are 1 and a boy and 3 and a girl named Emma or Emily but called "Emmi". The nanny who is named Alicia or Letisha watches one girl who is right under three years old and is named Lauren.

33 comments:

Anonymous said...

The NYC metro area nanny scene sounds, well, brutal. I live in San Diego and cannot even begin to imagine such a scene unfolding on a playground here. I'm sorry you had to go through that. It is obscene that people who are paid to take care of children would hold a *child* accountable for the actions of her mother, first of all, and attempt to publicly humiliate *anyone* in front of their charges, secondly. Just unbelievable.

~Glad to be on the West Coast

Anonymous said...

I was just thinking the same thing, that NYC nannies are a scary bunch. That just doesn't go on here. I'm sorry you were treated that way and I'm sorry that such immature hateful people are trusted with children. I've seen the occasional bench nanny here but for the most part we take our job seriously and are professionals and even crazier, enjoy our jobs and love the kids we watch.

UmassSlytherin said...

Jerks. Total idiotic jerks.
Sorry, OP. But you don't have to even begin to justify why you let your nanny go. These people are low-lifes: don't you think on it for another minute. They don't even deserve their jobs. And imho if your nanny associated with people like this, she didn't deserve her job either, although you are a good person to tell us her good qualities.
I hope their nanny families see this post and fire their sorry excuse for a childcare provider asses.

:(

Anonymous said...

wow..thats un-called for. I hope there's no backround your not telling us OP..anything like stiffing her on overtime, to giving her grief about taking a day off....because if stuff like that has happened you deserve to be talked about, but if your an amazing employer who treated her right then I hope you find a wonderful new nanny...

Anonymous said...

I have got to say that I am so very glad I do not live in NY and am especially glad that I do not live in NY in need of a nanny!!And the more I frequent this site..the more convinced of that I am.

It seems an angry,angry place.
The comments I read regarding public behavior as well as the comments often aimed at anyone other than the "regular NY crowd of moms & nannies" are just horrible.Even the so called Good guys out to protect the children lv mean and judgmental posts..describing peoples homes and lifestyles because they disagree with their way of child rearing...(over 50% of the posts are nothing more than that..)
I am sure that somewhere in NY there are kind ,decent people..

but really..angry nannies dishing out previous employers info..angry employers bad mouthing a nanny that they ,God only knows why, kept around for 2 yrs??, scenes at parks and libraries,nannies intimidating mommies and vice-versa.... What is going on in NY?
I am picturing the opening scene from "Ghost Busters" with all the evil and crap floating up to the surface of the city streets!!
the nanny/employer scene is far from perct here I am sure but I have never heard of so much drama. WOW!!
NY nanny scene= New york The Big(Sour) Apple!

Anonymous said...

635 says..op sorry you had to deal with that..maybe a move to nicer city/state would be a great idea..afterall there are jerks everywhere but they really seem to love NY and really seem to frequent the parks!!

Anonymous said...

Wow, I sure hate to see N.Y. get such a bad rap because of a few crappy Employers and Nannies. There are great ones out there, and you guys know it.

Now on to OP:
What you just described was a scene that we lovingly like to call the "Park Bench Nanny Mafia".
And it looks like your Nanny was, unbeknownst to you ... a member.
They gab on their cell phones, ignore the kids, talk gossip about their Employers .... the last one of which she obviously had done to you.

I'm sorry you are now finding out that your Nanny wasn't as great as you thought she was. She had a "cushy" job when your child was an infant, but now as her needs grew, Nanny was unable to perform her tasks. So ... you did the right thing and let her go. Why should your child suffer because of your ex-Nannies laziness?

I'm glad you reported these 2 unruly women. Their Employers are probably as much in the dark about them as you were with yours.
Hopefully there are other parks nearby you can take your child to, or activities you can engage her in.

Make sure that after you spend a tiresome amount of time finding the right Nanny, she steers clear of that park until those Nannies are gone ... we don't know if this is a disease that spreads, or if there is some kind of secret initiation, but you don't want your new Nanny to end up like them.

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

As a NY nanny I would like to say that not all NY nannies are this way. I would never engage in such juvenile behavior. I steer clear of "bench sitters" as I call them and they are described in the above comments. I never share anything about the family I work for with other nannies or mothers. These nannies are lazy just like your old nanny and think they are "the best" because they show up and stay a couple of years when most of the time all they do is sit on their asses and really don't know what hard work is. You were justified in letting your nanny go. That's it. You don't need to explain it to nanny's old friends. Next time you see them just tell them they can talk all they want because just as it happened to their friend it could happen to them.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry you were treated this way. I have to say, 'nanny friends' are a loyal bunch. If these are the ones your former nanny associated with then I am sure she did probably complain about you on her bad days, meaning that these nannies probably know about anything you might have done toward former nanny over her 2 year stint with you that she didn't like.

I'm not justifying their behavior, but just trying to somehow figure out why they acted this way.

Anonymous said...

I'm a SAHM in NY and yes, you definitely had yourself a bench nanny. I can't believe that they would actually treat you that way though. But now you truly know the woman who was caring for your child and the good part is she is no longer with your child. Just think about the lies she must have told them to make them act that way toward you and your child. Take your time in next search. There are great nannies out there too.

Anonymous said...

The park nannies were being immature and nasty.
Doesn't matter if they thought they had the right to act that way, or if they thought they were "defending" their friend (the nanny you fired). What they did was still wrong.
Ignore them.
Go to another park with your child for a while.
Good luck finding the right nanny for you and your child!

Anonymous said...

I love your post MPP!

Anonymous said...

mpp,

meeee toooo!

Anonymous said...

Mpp
I agree, great post!
What a scary thought, Op! Do you now wonder what kind of care your child received when you weren't around? Now that you know what kind of nanny she was?

Anonymous said...

"I'm not justifying their behavior, but just trying to somehow figure out why they acted this way."

Just Anonymous,
I think it's like a "wolf pack" mentality with those kind of nannies. A bunch of them get together and they feed off of each other. They are probably just sore that OP got rid of their leader. lol

One Fabulous Nanny said...

Awww, I'm an NYC Metro area nanny and I'd like to think I'm not "scary" ha. I think it's that there's a higher concentration of nannies in this area, so there are more reported sightings, and this site is 98% bad sightings... It'd be like if you were talking about a murderer in one smaller community vs. a huge gang in a city.

Anonymous said...

Fabulous nanny, you have a valid point. I'm in Austin which is much smaller obviously and it is just a different world down here.

Anonymous said...

Really too, too bad you had to experience the uncouth comments and rudeness of these nanny fiends. For the poor children to have to spend the entire day with such riff raff cannot be pleasant for them or in any way, nurturing. Thanks for the heads up on these idiots. Hopefully, the parents will get wind of this.

Anonymous said...

riff raff ... what a perfect description.

Anonymous said...

Lorenza,
You make a good point here also...one that I totally overlooked. It scares kids to be witness to such things. And worse, if they see that horrible behavior enough it might become "normal" to them and they might end up being ugly bullies too.

Not surprisingly, this reminds me of a story...
My sister is prone to hysterics...which I am used to, but because we lived in another state by the time my daughter was born, she was not. When my sis is mad at somebody she will occasionally get into such a frenzy that she will follow them around, literally, from room to room, SCREECHING into their face...sometimse for a very long time. You cannot get away from it without gpoing into a locked room (in which case she will simply scream through the door) or getting into a car and leaving...and she'd better not know where you went, or she just might show up there too. It doesn't happen very often, but when it does...watch out!

When my daughter was about 5 I took her to another state for my grandfather's funeral. We stayed at my grandparents home with my sister and her family and my dad and his wife. As we were packing to leave my sister got mad at me because I wouldn't let her take my daughter with her to her house in my absence. (My kids are not allowed to be alone with her, which she realizes, although I have not come out and said it to her...and which she constantly tries to override. Well, she started the screaming thing...in front of everybody. Her children (3yr. old and a toddler) were obviously used to it and seemed unphased. My daughter stood there crying...although I assumed it was mostly because part of what my sister was screaming was that we were now not allowed at her house at all and that my daughter and hers could not spend any more time together at all...and screaming at both children that, while SHE would love for them to play together, I had chosen for them to be apart forever.
Anyway, we packed and left as soon as we could. I tried to explain to my daughter the best I could to a five year old and she seemed OK but didn't really say anything. But the next day, as my daughter and I were at the airport having a snack she suddenly looked really weird..sad or scared...just very troubled. I asked her what was wrong, and it was then that she had the courage to ask me what had happened yesterday and why my sister had yelled so loud, and why she had said all of those mean things to me and to her. I again tried to give an explanation a small child could understand and said I was very sorry that she had been afraid. She then suddenly looked like she wanted to cry and after a minute she said, very quietly, "I'm glad you don't do that mommy." I have wondered ever since just how many times her children have witnessed that sort of thing and what effect it may have on them. Certainly, at the very least, they can't think its all that wrong or unusual to verbally accost people.

Anonymous said...

Sorry to say that I live in Park Slope, NY and have seen nannies behave this way a few times. It truly is amazing.

Anonymous said...

Awww, shucks guys!
Thanks!

Anonymous said...

park slope nannies are not that great, but the park slope mommies are the worst

Anonymous said...

I worked for almost 9 years for a family who moved out of town. I treasured their children and did my very best with them every day.

When they moved out of town, they gave me severance of $O.

You gave your nanny a generous severance after she did a half-assed job.

You did not deserve to have your former nanny bad-mouth you like she did.

Hope you find a great new nanny!

Anonymous said...

I believe there are three sides to every story, one side, the other side and the truth.

OP, I mean you no disrespect but I think I interviewed with you in the recent past, based upon the description you give and the circumstances you are in. I can say, if you ARE the person I think you are, there are a number of reasons why you won't find a decent nanny. Unrealistic expectations and your condescending attitude towards your nanny are only two I care to name off the top of my head.

I don't agree with how these other nannies treated you, if in fact, you are being truthful and not exaggerating the story. They were wrong.

Anonymous said...

Hmmmm, Interesting.

Anonymous said...

Wow, 9:53

Can you give us more juicy information? Since, this mother is bringing up the subject of the nanny they fired. And the way the other nannies are treating her now with her daughter

Anonymous said...

9:53-Interesting.

I'm having a hard time visualizing a 310+ pound nanny chase after a preschooler and a toddler. In fact, what really is there to see, other than the nanny sitting on her big bench that can support her weight? Park Bench Nanny of the Year! And her friend sounds like one of those nannies who manipulated the parents into giving her a job. Park Bench Lazy Slug Nanny Twins! Then again, Big Nanny sounds like 3 nannies. *LOL*

I am high energy due to my ADHD, and parents have made comments about it, which I am rather sensitive to. One parent made a comment about my perkiness and high energy, and then said, "I guess your energy level being so high isn't a bad thing." I don't remember what she said exactly, yet I often think parents don't want a high energy, perky nanny with patience. Just my opinion. And yeah I'm kinda grouchy today since I didn't have coffee this morning. Love ya guys!

Jane: Where can we get the ISYN t-shirts? I'm waiting!

Anonymous said...

9:53

Good point. If the OP really is the same person you interviewed with and was "condescending", etc...maybe her perception of how she treated her former nanny and REALITY are two very different things.
Still, she did give the nanny generous severance and several chances to do a better job, so she didn't deserve to be treated nastily by the park-nanny-mafia.

Anonymous said...

And yet, these nannies at the park had no business acting that way to anybody..especially not to her child...and double especially not in front of their charges and the OP's child.

Anonymous said...

I agree Mom. Whatever, happened between the mother and nanny is not there business. They should be busy watching their own charges. And mind their own business.

Anonymous said...

It's all my business!

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