Wednesday

How do I get past this?

Received Wednesday, May 14, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
This happened to me last Friday and I am not sure how to handle what has happened since. This is not the sort of thing I care to discuss with my friends because it is somewhat, if not completely embarrassing. On Friday, both parents were due to come home early as they were planning to take the kids to their grandparents for the weekend. It was 4PM and we were all putting together the last minute thinks like DVDs and drinks, etc. The kids who could use the restroom were told to use the bathroom one more time. Just before the parents came home, I had them use the restroom so I could avoid this. There is a restroom located between the kitchen and laundry room that we use throughout the day. The father sent the oldest son into that bathroom which is what I did not want. I had just used that bathroom about an hour ago and had a problem getting the water to go down. The son ran out of the bathroom screaming "gross, gross".

I stepped up and said, "I was just waiting for you to leave so I could take care of this, I just need to plunge it but getting the children from school and readying them left me short of time". The father made some comment about not wanting to leave things unfinished so he went in there. He didn't say anything or make any sounds of disgust for which I was grateful. Then he calls out to the mother, "could you bring me a knife". I was dying, but frozen. The mom brought him a bread knife and then realized what he wanted it for and asked for a plastic knife from older son. To make a long story short, my employers didn't leave until he was able to flush the toilet which he was able to do after he sawed my b.m. in half or parts. I have never been so embarrassed in all my life. The knife was put in a plastic bag and carried to the garbage can. The wife scurried for bleach and Lysol. It all happened within five minutes. I apologized profusely. The father told me it could have happened to anyone and not to worry about it. And then they left which let me get it together. I am a live-in and I re cleaned the whole bathroom.

I was happy to see the children Monday morning. The father came out, said a quick hello and good bye and left. The mother came out, went through a few schedule changes, her meal plans for tonight and in the same sentence said 'and if you wouldn't mind using your personal bathroom throughout the day'. I felt like dirt when she said that, like I was beneath them. And then I realized that I had used their bathroom off the kitchen and maybe that was something that just wasn't done. With as many bathrooms as they have, it probably doesn't make sense to use the bathroom off the kitchen. I just put the youngest down for a nap. I am obsessing about how to behave the next time in front of my boss. I feel like I should apologize. And I feel this is something they will ever forget and I don't think I can keep having this between us. If I didn't say I am a live-in nanny.

62 comments:

Anonymous said...

OP, I understand how you feel, but please just forget about it. Seriously, there are much worse things in life. If you are good at your job - and I suspect you are - there is no way any sensible parent will hold this against you. The mom's comment was a bit snotty, but I guess it is just as well that she said something. Just let it go now and do not apologize.

Anonymous said...

I'm sorry but I have to say it...shit happens.

OP you sound like such a nice person. Really, the father should have handled things a little more discreetly and not made such a scene about it. Toilets get clogged. Sometimes it's just too much paper. We all poop, it's a fact of life. Perhaps in a few days, the dust will settle and you'll be able to put it behind you. I totally understand how you feel now though.
time will help...

Anonymous said...

I used to be a live-out nanny and there was NO toilet brush in the bathroom....how could I "ask" for a toilet brush? that's embarrassing as well...needless to say, when I pooped, I would flush a thousand times to make sure there weren't any remnants...the dad worked from home and I was also conscious about him hearing the toilet flush so many times--like what the hell is the nanny DOING in the bathroom?!

xfileluv said...

OP, I just wanted to give you a hug. I'm like you, I obsess over the most mortifying moments of my life. I always envy people who can put these things behind them easily and wish I could learn to do the same.

Just try to remember that life goes on and some day you will laugh about this story with your friends. It's one of our favorite topics at my current job--our most embarrassing poop stories. We have some GREAT ones and end up with tears streaming down our faces when we talk about them.

{{{OP}}} Try to see it through the lens of humor and don't let it bother you any longer.

jeff archuleta's #1 fan said...

Oh no, no, no nanny!

The bathroom off the kitchen should never be used for bowel movements unless they come by as a result of potty training the under 3 set!

Why on earth with your own bathroom in the home would you take such an intoxicatingly deadly dump proximal to their kitchen table?

Anonymous said...

I see why she feels this way. This a pretty personal thing. It was emabrrassing for her but I do think the knife thing was a bit much. I would use my own bathroom and not use any of theirs LOL
Maybe Mom didn't appreciate what her hubby had to do and knowing men I am sure he whined about it but I think it is kind of funny. They will get over it and stop appologizing, the more you say sorry the longer they will remember it. Things like this happen.

just anonymous said...

Oh my gosh. I'm sorry this embarrassing situation happened...but they'll soon forget about it and hopefully it will be a story you can tell and laugh about in a few years. I think the real issue here is the parents dictating where you can/cannot go to the bathroom in a house that you live in. If you want to apologize, then apologize, but I would add in a line that you were unaware you were only to use one bathroom in the house.

Anonymous said...

Aren't you watching their kids? Do they want you to leave the children unattended while you hike upstairs to poop. I think kids are safer in front of the tv while pooping than teetering at the top of a staircase waiting for you to come out.

Anonymous said...

Live in nanny
and I dont care if its #1 or #2
I wont go in thier bathroom
btw..no guest bathroom
sooo it would be in the kiddos
bathroom
gross..i hike it down stairs
to my apt....
i dont want to do this
but yuckos
and its exactly what she
went through that Im
afraid of....the kid i watch is
5....she can play while i
am pottying....
sowwwy for this op
most are just insensitive
and not respective
if it was the other way
around...omg
they would be soo not happy
right....

Anonymous said...

OP, that happened to me once - thankfully I was at a relative's house and not at work. It was still embarrassing, seeing my uncle walk out of the bathroom with a plastic knife covered with my poop in a bag. The fact of the matter is, like another commenter said, shit happens. I'm sure the people you work for have done it too (though theirs might be solid gold and not stink ;) ). It'll all blow over, and if they can't let go of it, then let go of them.

Anonymous said...

OP

Want to feel better?? Here's what happened to me last summer: I am a live in nanny and I was in the kitchen when all of a sudden I was gripped by horrible belly cramps--I quickly went into the downstairs bathroom (yes, next to the kitchen) only to find that the three year old had just used it for potty training target practice and pee was all over the seat. I squatted over the toilet (like you do in a public restroom) and disgusting diahrea shot out like a bat out of hell. I used some toilet paper and turned around to throw it in and the bowl was empty...I was like, "what the hell?" for exactly two seconds when, to my horror, I looked at the wall behind the toilet and there was a spray of brown dripping dots in an enormous circumference ALL. OVER. THEIR. LIGHT. BEIGE. WALLPAPER. I was paralyzed with panic. I tried washing it off with wet toilet paper and it only smeared a huge brown glob in a big circle. I thought I was going to have to quit. It was the most humiliating thing that ever happened to me, but guess what? I'm still here.

Anonymous said...

OP: sorry that happened to you: both parents should have handled it more tactfully. You don't have anything to feel embarrassed about.
I think the mother was out of line by saying you should not use that bathroom. They sound like they lack social skills.
You did nothing wrong, sweetheart!
Hugs...

Anonymous said...

I have never heard of cutting it in half, but I really don't think it is a big deal. Everyone poops. And if you do have your own bathroom, I would have used that anyway. I mean not a quick bathroom break but for something like that I definitely would have used mine. They'll get over it. You could laugh about it in a month.

Anonymous said...

I second what 9:39 said. You did nothing wrong, and your employers sound insensitive. I hope you will be able to laugh about it eventually.

mom said...

9:04 That is hilarious. Were they home? If not, I might have played dumb and let them think one of the kids must have done it.

Here's something truly icky that happened to my sister (and my mom)...at my mom's office. My sis had an apparently horrid infection "down there" but neverthelkess opted to go out wearing thong undies and a short skirt. (A definite "Don't let this happen to you" scenario in the making.) So...she goes and visits mom at the office and sits in a chair in a common area while she waits for mom to leave for lunch. When she stands up...you guessed it...there is a huge greeninsh yellow glob of I don't even want to know what sitting smack dab in the middle of the seat. My mom sees the mess and proceeds to make a huge commotion over it. Apparently she was practically shouting, "What is that?! What's that in the chair? What is it?" My sister stood there completely mortified not knowing what to say. Then mom said, "Is it lotion"" as she scooped a sample onto her finger and sniffed it...in front of everybody. Ewwww...gross AND humiliating all in one.

just me said...

I have a good one for ya.

Three years ago I was working with Oldest (only child at the time) on potty training. Like a fool, I tried to flush two wipes down the toilet. They went down - at least, most of the way. Enough that I couldn't see the wipes when I realized my error and checked the bowl. So later on I used the same bathroom. It was a #2, and "Aunt Flow" was visiting. It all got stuck, almost over flowing. I tried to plunge, and just couldn't get it. Dad came home early and had to go at it. Horribly embarrassed I was, and bright red for that last hour of work.

Anonymous said...

To the OP:

Stop obsessing. You're human. It happens.

Let a week or two go by without mentioning what happened.

Then, casually mention how embarrassed you were by the whole thing and how grateful you are to your employers for being so understanding about it. Say you'll make sure to use your bathroom at all times from now on.

Then never mention it again.

Sh*t happens to everyone!

Anonymous said...

I can't wait for this thread to disappear into the archives.

OP, I'm so sorry for what happened to you. Your employers are jerks. Do they not have normal human functions?

....... Oh, wait - maybe they don't.

Anonymous said...

Yep. These parents sound pretty perfect to me. Their shit don't even stink!

JerseyXJacqui said...

Hahah 11:15, that is possibly one of the most foul things I have heard in awhile...and I'm not easy to shock or disgust.
SHE SMELLED IT!?!

I wouldn't be surprised if she performed a taste test on it after the sniff.

BLECH. Haha, I agree, this thread DEFINITELY needs to dissapear into the archives.

Anonymous said...

LOL ... gone, baby gone!!

Anonymous said...

My mom did once lick bird poop off her arm. We were eating outside at McDonalds and she thought she had dripped mayonnaise on her arm. She licked it off and, well, I'm about to throw up just thinking about it again.

Anonymous said...

I am sorry that happened to you. They'll forget about it. If they are the jokey-type, which it sounds like they are not, you could make a joke some time.

I handle things like this with humor, but that's me.

undercover regular said...

I'd forget it ever happened, and never bring it up again.

Anonymous said...

Fiber dear!

Anonymous said...

NO! no, no, no!
Fiber *makes* you crap!

Anonymous said...

seems like the family has control issues, since you said you'd clean it up after you'd taken care of the kids. and since they were going to leave the house and had many bathrooms, i think they over reacted.

I can't believe she told you to only use your bathroom. you live there!! it's not like you used their master bathroom!!

Anonymous said...

I have to go anon on this one.

I spent a good portion of a dinner party once scrubbing my period blood off of my boyfriends' Sisters' White Carpet. Yes, she should be shot for having white carpet in a guest bathroom. No, I couldn't get it all out.

Oh.

Just pretend like it never happened. Looks like the father handled it well. I wouldn't want my nanny plunging my toilets either because I'd be concerned about the plumbing going awry.

Please know that we've all had these moments and if you pretend like it never happened I'm sure they'll be happy to as well.

Anonymous said...

This subject is so grotesque, I really wish you would have left it in the comment section! However, since it's here, I thought I would share with you something our nanny did. We came home on a Friday night as she was getting her things together. She had just come out of the bathroom because she was drying her hands and the toilet water was settling. We bid our good byes for the weekend. I go to use the restroom and there wadded beside the toilet is a piece of used toilet paper, caked with raw feces. She completely missed the bowl. I screamed and shut the door. I returned to the door, reached in and locked it and pulled it shut. When my husband came home, he had to deal with unlocking the door and cleaning up the bathroom. We never said word one to the nanny, but til this day I still wonder what in G-d's name she ate that day!

cali mom said...

Jumping ahead here but I agree with 8:05. You don't say how old the younger one(s) are but the parents apparently have never encountered the dilemma of who watches the baby while they go to a whole different floor of the house for long enough to take a dump.

And for heavens sakes why don't people keep a plunger next to the toilet so they don't have to go fishing in such situations? Offer to buy them one since they can't seem to afford one, LOL!

Anonymous said...

Ugh!
Archives, Archives!
I can't take one more day of this!

And stupidly, I just had dinner.

Excuse me while I go and give it back ....

Anonymous said...

OK, but if you miss the toilet when you hurl, be sure to come back here and write about it. Better yet if you can somehow sneak into your neighbor's house and do it on their wallpaper.

Anonymous said...

ROFLMAO!
Somebody is in rare form tonite ...
Are you the "nanny smoking crack, calling pimp" poster???
Hahahaha! Love it!

Anonymous said...

Um...I'm the "hurl" poster but don't know anything about a nanny smoking crack calling her pimp.

But I'm signing off. I have to go now and give my son the diabetes talk...again.

Anonymous said...

7:55 You are hilarious! I love your sense of humor!

Anonymous said...

8:41
You think that's funny? Check out the suzy q thread. A poster jokes about nannies not paying attention to their charges because their too busy smoking crack and texting their pimps. That one's hilarious, too! It hit my funny bone just right, same as this one! That's why I thought it was the same poster. :)

Anonymous said...

OOooops! I meant the "Seal Park" thread.

Der!

Anonymous said...

once i pooped the biggest foulest shit that was big it formed a mountain peak sticking out of the water and was steaming. Horrified but mystified, I felt this was something too good to keep to myself so I purposely left it for my fiance to find, imagining the look on his face. WHY? Because stuff like that is funny, so laugh a little and let it go!!!

Anonymous said...

Since we're all sharing, I will share something I've never told anyone. It haunts me often.


The first time I got my period I was in the mall with my brother. My tummy hurt so we sat down on some expensive summer swinging chair thing. I don't know. Anyway, when I went to get up I noticed a huge red stain. I promptly sat back down. Well, kind of fell down when all the blood rushed to my face.
I thought quickly. I asked my brother to go hide and I would find him. Seriously! Then I waited.. got up, ran, found him and said "K lets go" and walked home quickly, but behind my brother.
For a long time after I felt bad... like I should have told someone. But I obviously couldn't have paid to replace it... or even had the courage to admit what had happened. I was just a child!


Ughhh.

Marissa M. said...

I have the feeling the wife was more flustered than you. maybe this was just her way of trying to find a way to not you be in such a situation again. I always used the bathroom as a live in off the kitchen mudroom but not for anything that can smell. I always went to my bathroom on the 3rd floor... and i think you should too. Infact, i think any live in house member, kids mom or dad should not use the bathroom close to a kitchen for that kind of thing period. It's just not private enough in my opinion. Don't feel bad... just invest in some fibersure and febreze

Anonymous said...

Good to see you J/M.
:)

LindaLou said...

the dad was rude not just to leave it for you to take care of youself. no one wants other people involved in all that! and i've never in my life heard of the plastic fork thing! AKKKKKKKKKK!

marypoppin'pills said...

I actually ... don't know what to say.
Um, sorry OP.
The porcelain Gods were not very fair to you that day.

mom said...

That reminds me of a story my friend recently told. She recently moved to Northern California...apparently to an extremely affluent suburb. She wanted to buy a new mattress and she spoke ot a friend who told her to spend a good deal of time rolling around on it, resting in different positions, etc., not worrying about what the store personnel or any other shoppers thought of her for spending so much time choosing. Sooo, she went to some upscale furniture boutique, which happend to have only one mattress style for sale. It was part of a display and had been covered with bed linens to make a nice front entrance display. The salesperson kindly pulled the covers back for her to try out the mattress. As she had been instructed, she spent a good deal of time rolling all over the mattress, reclining in all sorts of different positions, etc. (despite thr fact that she was still in her tennis dress and bloomers.) She had even asked him to leave her and go about his business because she intended to spend a good deal of time with this mattress. Finally he came back to check on her and she agreed to buy that style of mattress. He turned to lead her to the rsgister to oredr her (new)mattress (thankfully) just before she got up off of the bed. When she turned to remake the bed she saw that she had unknowingly gotten her period and had managed to roll blood from one side of the mattress to the other. Not knowing what to do, she quickly covered the evidence, tied a sweater around her waist to cover her now bloody skirt, went to the resister, paid, and left.
Imagine what a yucky surprise for whoever eventually discovered her blunder?!

Anonymous said...

I wouldn't take the Mom's comment as an insult. They told you not to worry about it and the Mom and Dad cleaned it up so you didn't have to and didn't make a big deal about it. She was probably just telling you in a casual way so you would be spared any future embarassment should it happen again.

Anonymous said...

uggg...I am a regular...but I am going undercover here...

Just last week on a beautiful day my husband and I were sitting outside on our porch....when we noticed my nanny family walking up the street....we lives a couple streets away...and this isn't unusual so they came on the porch and chatted for a bit at which time I could smell beer coming from dad....about 3 minutes later he asked to use our restroom...no big deal right?...well he emerged a couple minutes later bright red and shuffled them off the porch to head home...it was sooo clear something was wrong....so when they were out of sight I ran in to investigate.....well much to my surprise there were USED tampons ALL OVER the floor...out new puppy was inside having a field day when we were outside, because my husband didn't shut the door!!!! Can you freaking believe that one!!!!!!! I STILL can't look at my male employer!!!!

marypoppin'pills said...

For some reason, doggies like used tampons.
::shrug::

repost said...

REPOST:

I bet if you hear enough embarrassing stories, yours won't seem so bad!
Are you ready for this one? It's pretty bad!

I was hosting a really beautiful party. I was so excited!
Good food. Good wine. Good people.
The only bad thing was I had started my period that morning.
Oh ... you think I wore white, right? nope.
I was too smart for that, hee-hee.
At least I thought so.

The party is in full speed. I'm standing around talking to a bunch of friends, and guess who comes waltzing in the room? My little dog. And what has my little dog got in his mouth? Yes ... my tampon. From the trash.
I know ... pretty gross!
Imagine my horror! I died a thousand deaths right there!
All I could do was scoop my little doggy up and run out of the room and hide.
It took quite awhile to get over that one, let me tell you.
But we all do. Give it some time.
You'll be alright.

mom said...

People, people, people. Tampons are FLUSHABLE! Do not put them in your trashcans for the puppies to get at. Flush them away and be done with them!

Here is something I did sort of mean once. (And you will not believe this of "mom"...but at least it was many moons ago and I am more mature now.) I had a friend who we played practical jokes back and forth all the time. Once she was giving a big law firm Christmas party. I saw that she had floated beautiful lighted candles in her master bathtub...to which I added a handful of unwrapped tampons.
And I went into her garage and tied several unwrapped tampons to her windshield wipers and license plate...and promptly forgot all about them...until she called one day after it had rained while she was at the gym. She didn't give me all the details (excpet that they were "in full bloom" when she emerged from the gym)because she "didn't want to give me the satisfaction." Seems fair enough.

mom said...

Oh yeah, and apparently I am not the only one who was on a "first prank" basis with this friend, because at the same party another guest laid piles of plastic poop and plastic vomit at random spots throughout the house. She thought it was me until the proud culprit finally confessed.

mpp said...

My Family used to play some hardcore pranks on each other, too. I actually kind of miss it ... we don't do it as much now - except maybe around the Holidays when we've got everyone together.
And do I have some doozies!
Ah, good times, good times.

mpp said...

Mom
I had to laugh when you said, "tampons are flushable". Maybe in Texas, where things are bigger and better, you can get it to go down your sewer system ... but not here! LOL

LindaLou said...

mom, tampons ARE not, in fact, flushable. i spent 40 years of my life thinking they were until the day raw sewage backed up out of my toilet and tun, all over my bathroom and hallway. the culprot was tampons. many moons of accumulated tampons which the nice plumber spent many hours unpluggin from our pipes. never, and i mean, never flush tampons down the toilet! ditto with baby wipes, kleenix, paper towels, etc... the only things that should be flushed are toilet paper and stuff that comes out of your body.

LindaLou said...

ugh, typos.
a-r-e N-O-T
t-u-b
c-u-l-p-r-i-t
u-n-p-l-u-g-g-i-n-g

mom said...

Yikes! OK, thanks for the info. I hope it's not too late!

Anonymous said...

Yes Lindalou, I found out the hard way, too .... $900.00 later.
I had been flushing those little wipes down the toilet for years. The kind that say it's safe to. Ah, bullshit.
It's a conspiracy. There's some kind of kickback, and the asswipe makers and the plumbers are in cahoots.
Yeah, I'm just kidding ......
but only flush your t.p.
wrap everything else up and put it in a separate baggie like I do and toss it. Yeah, it takes an extra minute, but my plumbing is clean as a whistle, and so is my ass.
:)

LindaLou said...

yeah, it's an expensive lesson to learn. and a smelly one! :::gag:::

Anonymous said...

Flushable wipes are a plumbers' best friend. It cost me $1200 to have a plumber unclog my toilets, laundry sink (which the sewage had backed up in), and snake the pipe all the way out to the town sewer connection because there were so many flushable wipes stuck in the system. My three kids have been using them for years-thought it was a good way to make sure they were cleaning themselves well. The plumber said that he goes on at least one call a week where the culprit are "flushabe" wipes.

Anonymous said...

here, here.
say NO! to flushable wipes!!

Anonymous said...

Yes, yes. I remember this column. I think it had some of the FUNNIEST comments EVER on this blog!

Anonymous said...

Awww, OP, I can completely sympathize with you on this one!

Picture this - brand new pharmacy tech, about 19 years old, first time at a job outside of babysitting. I went in to the employee restroom and did my business. It would NOT flush! Not only would it not flush, the water continued to fill the bowl and soon was heading to the floor. Mortified, I exited the bathroom (all the while wondering if I could blame it on one of my coworkers! :) and ran to get my boss. He said, "What in the H@#$ did you DO!" Well, duh, I think THAT MUCH is obvious! I guess in my sheltered plumbing-less life growing up, I'd never learned about the water knobs under the toilet. I could have saved myself the mortification. Ah well, you live and learn!

Cyndi said...

I know that this post is from ages ago, but I was looking through the archives and had to have a good laugh.
A friend of mine is in a band with her family - the parents and 4 teenaged kids. I went away with them on a 10 day trip, and when we came back from the trip, we all helped to clean out their tour bus, with the dad of the family cleaning out the onboard bathroom and toilet.
He took the toilet contents down to the back paddock of there property to empty, and promptly returned to find the culprit (my friend) who had flushed "5 or 6 little sheep (tampons)"down the toilet.
We laughed about this for weeks.