I was in Gates Canyon Park in Calabasas Tuesday morning, when I sighted a Hispanic nanny, wearing light blue jeans and a black and white striped t-shirt, in charge of two little girls, African American, one looked about 3 and the other about 7 mos or so. The older girl wore her hair in two puff pony tails on either side of her head and had a cute blue and white summer dress. The nanny planted the baby in her car seat, and the girl under a tree, and walked off to chat up her cell phone for a good 45 min or so. The older girl was obviously bored, watching the other kids play, she got up and wandered to the drinking fountain, where she struggled to reach it and started to cry. The nanny finally noticed this and walked to her, grabbed her hand and led her back to the tree. The little girl didn't get her drink, and the nanny never put down the phone. After awhile she went to talk to another nanny in the park who was far more attentive with her kids, and THAT nanny put the little girl on a swing to play! It was horrible to see all the obvious stay at home mom's in the park attentively playing with their kids, contrasted with all the nannies half heartedly watching/borderline neglecting kids while yapping on their phones...very sad...
Wednesday
Gates Canyon Park in Calabasas, CA
Received Wednesday, May 21, 2008
I was in Gates Canyon Park in Calabasas Tuesday morning, when I sighted a Hispanic nanny, wearing light blue jeans and a black and white striped t-shirt, in charge of two little girls, African American, one looked about 3 and the other about 7 mos or so. The older girl wore her hair in two puff pony tails on either side of her head and had a cute blue and white summer dress. The nanny planted the baby in her car seat, and the girl under a tree, and walked off to chat up her cell phone for a good 45 min or so. The older girl was obviously bored, watching the other kids play, she got up and wandered to the drinking fountain, where she struggled to reach it and started to cry. The nanny finally noticed this and walked to her, grabbed her hand and led her back to the tree. The little girl didn't get her drink, and the nanny never put down the phone. After awhile she went to talk to another nanny in the park who was far more attentive with her kids, and THAT nanny put the little girl on a swing to play! It was horrible to see all the obvious stay at home mom's in the park attentively playing with their kids, contrasted with all the nannies half heartedly watching/borderline neglecting kids while yapping on their phones...very sad...
I was in Gates Canyon Park in Calabasas Tuesday morning, when I sighted a Hispanic nanny, wearing light blue jeans and a black and white striped t-shirt, in charge of two little girls, African American, one looked about 3 and the other about 7 mos or so. The older girl wore her hair in two puff pony tails on either side of her head and had a cute blue and white summer dress. The nanny planted the baby in her car seat, and the girl under a tree, and walked off to chat up her cell phone for a good 45 min or so. The older girl was obviously bored, watching the other kids play, she got up and wandered to the drinking fountain, where she struggled to reach it and started to cry. The nanny finally noticed this and walked to her, grabbed her hand and led her back to the tree. The little girl didn't get her drink, and the nanny never put down the phone. After awhile she went to talk to another nanny in the park who was far more attentive with her kids, and THAT nanny put the little girl on a swing to play! It was horrible to see all the obvious stay at home mom's in the park attentively playing with their kids, contrasted with all the nannies half heartedly watching/borderline neglecting kids while yapping on their phones...very sad...
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33 comments:
Sounds like what I used to witness on a daily basis, for years, at the local parks.
Not that there are not good nannies out there. Some are great. But mostly the nannies would sit and talk among themselves while the kids got neglected. But having been to this site fgor a while now, I realize that those "nannies" I used to see were probably very low salaried illegal aliens....(here we go again, I'm sure, with the "racist" crap)...just babysitting as a way to survive, and their hearts weren't in it at all....and they weren't professional nannies.
I think if you're not going to be there with your own kids you need to do whatever you need to do and pay whatever you need to pay to get somebody GOOD.
Thumbs up for the second nanny!
First..you have no idea if this was a nanny or a mommy. My children are all dark skinned and I am white as can be!
Your obvious tone towards nannies sucks and makes your post appear to be written by an angry mommy who had a bad nanny experience.
How on earth could you possibly know that ALL of the children who were being "attentively played with" were with their "obvious stay at home mom's"?
They very well could have been with their wonderfully attentive nannies!!
The only point of value you brought to the table was that no child should be left sitting under a tree for 45 minutes so ANY care provider, mom or nanny, can chat on the phone!
I feel bad for any child with a care provider like this!
next time you just might want to stick to the facts and leave the assumptions at the door!
I predict this will be a fiery thread. One reason will be because somebody will surely dog Mom's post (I♥U☺) .... and as stated above by 12:40, how is it possible to tell who was a Nanny and who was a SAHM among all the women in the park? That's a very blanket statement and I agree, no credit whatsoever was given to the possiblity that there may have been a few good Nannies there.
Other than that, it's a good post. No child should be neglected, and I feel bad the little girl didn't get a drink of water.
12:40
Not to start an argument, but those "assumptions would have been based on something. We often jump all over the OPs for their assessments of situations that THEY were there to witness and get a feeling about, and which WE were NOT.
Besides, if there was a mom who looked nothing like her child, in skin color or any other way, one making erroneous assumptions would probably make an "assumption" that that was a nanny, not a mommy.
The only point OPs assumptions would make, if they made any, would be that the mommies and nannies who looked like the children were more attentive than the nannies ands mommies who didn't. (And this assumes she doesn't know the people at the park and has no direct knowledge of who is a parent and who is a nanny...which she may well know outright. I did because I knew who almost all of the neighborhood children were and who their parents were too...and there also are really some times when you really CAN just tell.)
Again, not every comment is rooted in prejudice and hatred. Let's give these OPs some credit for the feelings they get about the situations they observe.
People always assume that I am my charge's mother...and we look nothing alike.
Hmm.
mom...
i usually enjoy and mostly agree with your posts on here. but today you seem totally off base. the poster who said that the op would have been better off just sighting the facts of the children being left sitting under a tree for 45 was really all the info needed. Her personal opinions about "ALL the obvious stay at home mom's in the park attentively playing with their kids, contrasted with ALL the nannies half heartedly watching/borderline neglecting kids while yapping on their phones...very sad..." was not needed. And i'm pretty sure it was untrue seeing as how she said the other nanny was attentive to her kids and even put the little girl on a swing.
1:15 again....one more thing for mom.
How in the world would you know now that those nannies you use to see were illegal aliens?? Nannies who are lazy are just plain lazy no matter if they are illegal or not. Just like a lazy parent is a lazy parent, illegal or not.
Well, true. That statement was probably an exaggeration. As I said, there are some really good nannies out there too.
But we can't assume either that she had no idea who was who. She might have actuall had a pretty good idea.
That said, it would be nice if people did say whether or how they actually knew who was mom and who was nanny. Sometimes OPs do and it stops the inevitable nanny vs. mommy debate before it ever get started.
I think I could probably guess correctly the majority of the time. Most of you could too. But I have to say a couple of weeks ago my daughter and I went to eat at Boston Market (maybe I should post this under the fast food debate thread?) and we saw the most wonderful woman with a little boy who was two. She did not look like his mom at all, but she was so loving and obviously proud of him and busily talking to him and teaching him things in a loving tone that I thought maybe she was his mom. I thought of asking whether she was mom or nanny and posting a happy nanny sighting here id she was nanny (we struck up a conversation because my daughter and I were taken with the adorable little boy) but decided that might be insulting if she was mom...so I left wondering. So no you can't ALWAYS tell. But if that was a nanny she was one of the rare gems I have had the privelege of seeing.
1:15 you posted while I was posting.
I know because I almost hired one to help me when I was pregnant (until a previous employer was kind enough to set me straight about her status and work ethic. I have a policy of hiring only legal citizens...and I do check it out...even my gardener, yes....so shoot me.) They nanies were largely a group friends and family that were coming here and congregating in the same area and setting up new arrivals with families in the neighborhood for work.
It was a (large) gated community and MOST everybody knew everybody else. My frinds and I did not have nannies, but went to the neighborhood parks almost daily...where we saw our neighbor children in the company of their illegal nannies. Perhaps that experience has skewed my impression of nannies somewhat, but I do have a new (better) perspective of PROFESSIONAL nannies after visiting here for so long now. Does that help you understand how I knew who was who?
I too frequent this park with my charge and I'm always shocked at the lack of interaction between nannies and their charges. I will say that without a doubt the majority of these nannies if not all are latina. Even the underpaid Au Pair's play with their younger charges at the park. Maybe it's time for those of us who care to start confronting these women? We know they probably work in that area, so what if we went up to them and said we'd report it to their work families? I for one think we should stick a poster up in the park with this websites information on it.
Brandon--how about telling the parents to drop in on their nannies if you know them? I'm assuming if this is a small neighborhood, you or some of the other parents would know a few of the employers. My very first nanny was awful--self involved and not engaging the kids at all, but she was skilled at putting on a show whenever we were around, so it took awhile for us to spot it. We fired her after a fellow nanny "ratted her out" and we caught her in her afternoon inattentive mode(guess our prior unscheduled drop ins had been too close to when we left or when we could be expected to return). Once we fired her, several of our neighbors came forward and told us it was good we got rid of her because they saw "xyz". I wanted to say--well why didn't you tell us when you saw it, but what was the point?
Anon 2:06, I don't frequent the park enough with my charge this year to tell parents to do this. Most of my encounters at the park have been with other caregiver's, not parents. My work family also doesn't live in this neighborhood, but rather a couple of miles away. There are a lot of middle class families in this neighborhood as well as a very wealthy gated community. I think posting a flier with this website would put the fear of God into these worthless nannies. I also come from a place of I can't understand why people wouldn't want to play with their children at the park. My charge is very shy and if she doesn't go withs someone she knows, I have to be the bridge between her and other children to get her to interact.
Jane, do I have your permission to put up a flier?
I'll post the link to a flier for you to print if that helps. Thank you!
Wow. Since you were so busy watching this "bad nanny" and all of her activities, who was watching your children? Why don't you keep yourself busy with minding your own children?
Check out the website to this park, Anon 3:21. It's also not hard to notice them because quite frankly the kids being ignored by their nannies tend to gravitate to the fun loving nannies and parents on this playground. The last time I was at the park I wiped the snotty nose of some child who's own nanny couldn't be bothered. I kept trying to get my own charge away from him. http://tinyurl.com/4xr6du
Thanks Jane-I'll gladly print up a flier.
ISYN Flier
http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2293/2512203230_10e4076987_o.jpg
Thank you!
bve, did you realize that when reading the original post, if you click on Gates Canyon Park, it takes you right there?
Thanks for the flier idea. It also works if you want to let parents of bad nannies know that the website exists. Maybe they will get the hint to drop in on their own child, so some stranger doesn't!
Mel-yes, I saw it. To be frank I put it back in because most people are too lazy to scroll up and click it. It's easier just to add it in again.
I think the flier idea is fantastic. We should post one up at every park. Some of them even have message boards, so you can put them up there. We need to get the word out to these parents!
And to 3:21:
Did you really need to go there? What an idiotic statement. It's been said time and again that we are capable of multi-tasking.
I mean really, how hard is it to watch your kid and occassionally glance at another that may be having trouble? It's not as if the alleged abused or neglected children are being stalked by do-gooders. If YOU find it too difficult to do 2 things at once, I feel sorry for you because that's quite pathetic.
Chill out already.
The best nannies are great multi taskers and hard to find. My nanny can play go-fish with my child while drinking a hot coffee, spelling the colors of the fish for my three year old (gasp) and giving directions to the electrician and timing a german chocolate cake.
Hire an American.
Welcome to the world of nannies. I am a SAHM in NYC and see the worst of nannies every day. At the parks, they are all on their cell phones or sitting with the other nannies and gabbing. That's fine if the kids are off playing but, when the child is young and needs attention, is heartbreaking to watch. They pay absolutely no attention to the kids. I have been in the elevator of my building with a nanny and her charge and the child is talking to the nanny and she completely ignores him/her. I have seen this in the park. A very young child pointing to the sky at a bird and looking at the nanny who can't be bothered. I feel very bad for kids who have to be left with nannies and I feel bad for the mothers who feel they have no other choice.
5:31
In a perfect world, we wouldn't need childcare. Dad's would still be bringing home the bacon and Mom would be frying it up in a pan.
But that's not realistic.
The cost of living has gotten so ridiculous that most families need 2, or even 3 incomes to survive.
You say you feel bad for the kids that have to have nannies?
I say I feel bad for the kids left in Daycare centers.
At least a Nanny provides one-on-one care for the child, and it isn't relegated to a corner with a beat up coloring book and broken crayons and ignored.
5:47,
That's a pretty judgemental thing to say about childcare centers. I worked for a chain childcare center for about ten years when I was younger and it was awesome. Top of the notch facilities, tons of professional development, and the parents were always pleased with us and what the kids were doing.
As far as a "perfect world", well, your perfect may be frying bacon in a pan, but other women may want a career. We should be advocates for quality childcare, period, in our country, where we can get it, whether it be a nanny, a center, or a home childcare center. Childcare center does not equal poor care.
You should get your facts straight. While I agree that many families need two incomes (ours is one of them) your comments regarding daycares is just not accurate across the board. There are so many positive things about childcare centers, among which is the fact that there are tons of witnesses and documentation should anything go wrong, God forbid.
Just my two cents.
Melamonk, that cracked me up. My boss calls me "little mommy" because I'm also very talented at the multi-tasking, lol.
I'm entitled to my opinion Umass, and I think children are better off with one-on-one care from a nanny. Provided parents do their research and find the right one.
Any experience I've had with Daycare centers has been a bad experience, including being sexually abused in one when I was 4 y.o.
Call me judgemental all you want.
And I thank you not to rebut.
I'm in no mood to argue Daycare vs. nannies today.
Looks like the first nany is neglecting to do her job. She should be responsible and attentive to her kids. It's her job, not talking on the phone...
I'm with UMass--there are some great childcare centers out there. My kids attended one for 4 years, from infancy until kindergarten. An excellent childcare center can exceed anything one nanny can do for kids--there were a minimum of 5 teachers in each classroom of 16 kids at all times - with floaters and other part-time caregivers often increasing the ratio and primary caregivers assigned to each child to make sure there individual needs were attended to. There was no set schedule for infants (it was based on the child's schedule) and that flexibility was extended into the toddlers' classroom. It was only in the 3 to 5 years old pre-school classes that a set curriculum was introduced. And, the center was part of a Y which offered a huge support infrastructure the center pulled from, including music, yoga, dance, gymnastics, swim classes incorporated in the program as well as nature center and multi-cultural holiday celebrations and events. Sorry, even supernanny couldn't match that. I have a fabulous nanny who takes care of my now school aged older children and infant who is very attentive and loving, but she can't be "on" 9 hours straight.
Wow.
I keep seeing nannies on their cell phones ignoring their charges.
I'm the nanny at the park, actually PLAYING with my charges while gaggles of nannies chat away on their phones and with eachother while their charges do whatever!
This is such a disturbing trend, I wish I could take their cell phones away and tell them straight to their faces to quit being nannies and start working as telemarketers...then they can be on the phone all day long!
2:17
Haha, love it!
.... telemarketers.
melamonk, I've been waiting for someone like you to say "hire an American"!!
Yes.
Hire one.
Hire lots.
Hire legal. Pay employer taxes. Follow the rules.
Be rewarded with a wonderful English-speaking employee and a clear conscience!
Instead of confronting the illegal alien women - why don't you confront the self-centered witches who hand off their precious babies to an illegal alien?
What kind of woman would do such a thing? Is your career more important than the well being of your child?
I wish a child welfare agency would arrest these women, after homeland security deports these nannies. It's child neglect to the highest degree.
And it's wonderful seeing all the parents - mommies and daddies - spending quality time with their children. Those are moments that will be cherished by the children for their entire lifetimes.
Too bad you witches put your careers ahead of your children. When they get older and stuff you in an old age home instead of welcoming you into their homes when you are older and infirmed - remember these days when you dumped your child with an illegal alien nanny.
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