Monday

Nanny Upset Over Unsupervised Ten Year Old...

Received Monday, April 7, 2008-Rant

I wanted to report something I saw today, between 2-3 pm on Sunday, April 6th, which really upset me. The reason why it upset me was because it involved a child, and what I saw angered me, because I used to work in daycare turned nanny and I am a Girl Scout leader. I would never do to a child what I saw this individual, the child's MOTHER, do. Maybe I am overreacting, but this child was 10 years old, and it was a parent who did this. I work part time on weekends at this store, and a parent approached me, like she was looking for something or someone. I asked her what or who she was looking for, she replied, "my 10 year old daughter." I figured maybe the child went to get something else her mother forgot, and waited a few minutes. "Maybe she 's outside waiting for me," the mother replied in a nonchalant tone. I checked out the groceries, and the mother did not once look for her child. She didn't appear to be concerned at all, that her child was missing. I had an associate check outside for the girl, and called a manager. It was about 5-7 minutes later and my manager found the girl, who was carrying something. Anything could happen to a child in 5-7 minutes. The mother paid for her groceries, and left the store. Since when is it OK to let a 10 year wander around the grocery store alone? My store isn't that big-yet anything could happen to an unsupervised child.

26 comments:

Anonymous said...

Where do you live? Even in Orange County I was allowed to walk down to our local grocery story 3 minutes away, as well as babysat other children when I was eleven. I think most 10 year olds would be okay inside a small store for under 10 minutes.

Anonymous said...

I too see nothing wrong with a 10 year old child walking around a grocery store alone (I mean, her mother was in the store also-right?). What's the big deal here?

Anonymous said...

When I was 10, I was sometimes sent to the store to pick up something. I was also babysitting (more as a mother's helper) at parties.

Anonymous said...

I think you are overreacting. Sounds like both mom and daughter were both comfortable with the situation...and giving your child increasing amounts of responsibility and independence is a good thing!

JerseyXJacqui said...

I agree with the others...I'm not sure what the big deal is. 10 years is actually a good age to start introducing some independence to your children.

just anonymous said...

Probably fine. A lot 10 year olds these days have cell phones which could be why the mother wasn't too worried.

LindaLou said...

i regularly send my 10 year old in to the grocery store with a list and my debit card, generally when the 3 y.o. has fallen asleep in the car. once when we were all sick and said 3 y.o. was throwing up, i sent her on her bike. :::gasp::: have you been around any ten year olds recently? i think you are faaaaaaaaaarrrr underestinmating what's normal for them.

Anonymous said...

I think it really depends on exactly where you live and what the crime situation is like in the area. If this was in a run down ghetto area of a big city with a lot of crime, NO way, I have a 10yr old girl and I would never let her out of my sight in a situation like that, However, in my own suburb where the crime rate is almost non-existant and many of the people all know each other in town, I would have no problem with this. Lets not forget about the real fact that anything can happen anywhere and nobody is ever totally safe. If you all remember a few years ago a 12 year old girl was lured right off the street near a car wash and was raped and killed. It was broadcast on most major T.V. channels and shortly after or before that, Jessica Lunsford in Florida was taken right from her bedroom by a registered sex offender that lived down the street from her. She was sexually abused and killed by this creep.

To the OP, where is this store, what city or suburb and what is the crime condition like. If this is a low crime area, I would not be as concerned as if it were a big city or part a huge downtown area with a lot of creepy people hanging out in the streets.

Anonymous said...

When I get lazy and don't feel like driving, I make my 10-year old pull me to the store in a red wagon.

ceo said...

I too flipped out when I saw a mother leave her daughter alone, yesterday 4/6/08. This woman left her 2-3 yr old daughter alone in her SUV at the Honey Farms in the center of town in Northborough, MA. I freaked out.. I think that 10 is an ok age, I was a babysitter at that age.. but 2-3 yrs old, alone in a car? This was at 8:05-8:10 pm and she was in the store for about 8-10 minutes. I stood in between her car and mine, with my 2 yr old, while she shopped. Unbelievable.

LindaLou said...

hilarious, 7:39. i literally laughed out loud.

mom said...

Yes, we are all laughing at my house too!
Some of these really off the wall comments are hilarious.

I still chuckle inside about one several months back about a cowboy parking his slim shady ass on a dermatologists table for some dermabrasion.

Anonymous said...

HAHAHAHHAHA another case of someone wanting so badly to report something that she'll report ANYTHING.

At 10 years old, my mother would give me my $2 allowance on the weekend and tell me "be home by dark", and hey guess what, I ALWAYS was. I'm still alive and better of for being given some freedom and not being coddled my whole life. For GODS sake, she's 10 years old!

I'm betting you'll be one of those mothers who helicopters around her kids all day driving all the OTHER mothers CRAZY!

Anonymous said...

stop being a bloody dee dee dee shes 10 not 2

Anonymous said...

HAH, 7:39 that was hilarious!!


OP, I too think you are way over reacting! The child was 10 years old, not 2 years old. I am 24, and at the age of 10, I not only was aloud to ride my bike down to the little corner store about 10 blocks from my house and get myself "goodies" with my allowance, but was also starting to babysit (for very short periods of time) with a neighbor who was 13 years old. I also helped my mom grocery shop, and it was twice as fast when she sent me to get half the list, while she got the other half. I honestly think I would have died of humiliation if a store employ would have got so upset about me wondering around a grocery store alone at the age of 10!

marypoppin'pills said...

I think 10 is a good age for kids to start to venture out on their own (in short spurts, and not too far away) ... but times have changed!

When I was 10 I would walk a mile to the skating rink, to school in the morning, to a friends house 3 blocks over ...

And I had to be home when the "street lights came on" for dinner!
I miss those care-free days! ☺

Anonymous said...

You don't say how the mom reacted to your "policing" of her daughter. Did she get upset?

Hellcat said...

When I was 10 I was allowed to walk all over our town alone. Mind you, it was a small town (maybe 3000 people, all knowing each other.) Regardless, I was still quite capable of being on my own. Even now I will assume a 10 year old would be much more grown up than the 10 year olds of my generation. City kids are having sex at 12 these days. Ughhh.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, you make a good point Hellcat.

I was devastated to learn just yesterday that my 12 y.o. niece has been having sex for almost a year now. She looks 15, and is fully developed.
That's the sickening part of kids growing up so fast ...

mom said...

Things are definitely different today, so we can't really judge by what we were allowed to do way back when. It's a real shame though because I think our kids have suffered immeasurably from having to be hovered over everywhere they go nowdays. Think of all the great lessons we learned "the hard way," which are far too dangerous to let our kids experience and learn from on their own anymore.
As far as this child in the post. Ten year olds are quite varied in their maturity levels these days. I let my oldest do a lot more a lot younger than his little brother because (once he was old enough to keep from sticking things in outlets, running into the street and hanging himself from the playground equipment)he was a more confident and self sufficient kid.

I would absolutely let a ten year old be alone in the grocery store...although I would have second thoughts about letting that same child run around the mall alone. I used to let mine hang out in the cereal aisle choosing thier "dessert cereal" (which is what we called the crappy cereals to keep them from thinking it was a good before school breakfast) while I shopped, although I can't remember at exactly what age.

As many have said, ten is a good age to start letting them spread their wings a little bit, with mom not too far off in the distance just in case.

In OPs defense, maybe this ten year old looked particularly meek or incapable of handling herself alone?

Jane Doe said...

This post was sent in by one of our regular readers. As is in most cases, I don't always agree with the outrage or opinion of the person sending in the story; but in this case I did think the story had validity. There are two grocery stores where I do my grocery shopping and were I to have an "average ten year old" with me who I should become separated from for a period of 5-7 minutes, I don't imagine I would be concerned at these locations. However if this were to happen at a grocery store I have in mind that is a mile away, I would most definitely become concerned. Or rather frightened, frantic and outright panicked.
When I receive a post, I tend to believe that the person submitting the post saw something that caused them concern, perhaps something they were unable to capture in writing, but something significant nonetheless. I appreciate all of the posts that are submitted to ISYN. Even if readers do not agree with the author's assessment of danger, their submission does open a forum for discussion about child safety, parenting or other worthwhile dialogue.

Anonymous said...

I agree that a ten year old is old enough to venture around in the grocery store. But I wouldn't want them outside the store without me. Out in the parking lots you don't know who could sitting in their cars looking for their next victim.
Most people will probably disagree with me. But thats how I feel.

About ten years ago at the Garden State mall in Paramus, women were being robbed in the parking lot. And some were being forced in the persons car, driven around and robbed and let back out. Now, these were grown women not children. They targeted women alone or with infants. What about a ten year old walking around outside a store?

Anonymous said...

You're right Jane. Sometimes people tend to be a bit judgemental when they don't know the whole story, and we can only go by what is written in the post.

This one didn't sound particularly alarming, but I'm sure OP must've sensed something was off to have reported it. I usually try to give the OP the benefit of the doubt ... but it looks like here we may have failed this time.

Sorry OP.

fg said...

since the OP is quite familiar with the store, it's location and clientele, I think she should be taken seriously

Anonymous said...

I am a mom and was a nanny for 20 years and do not see a problem with this situation. Parents can make choices dependen on child's maturity and ability to take care of themselves.

Anonymous said...

OP, do you know that kids are legally allowed to stay home alone at age 11? Why wouldn't they be allowed to walk around a grocery store at age 10? That's so silly.