Location: Children's Park in a West Windsor complex, NJ
Date: Thurs, 4-3
I had my 2 year old charge at the playground (this was my 2nd week with him and our 1st trip to the playground) and there were 2 other 2 year old boys playing there when we arrived. One family left soon after, but one little boy was under the care of his non-English speaking grandmother. My charge was playing on the slide and in the tunnels, and the other little boy M followed. All was fine until M started throwing wood chips at my charge, and would not stop when I asked him to. Grandma was only vaguely supervising and did not reprimand. So I took my charge over to the swings, only to have M follow. I soon realized Grandma had left the park completely. I was pushing my charge in the baby swing and M kept walking in front, so I eventually picked him up and put him in the swing next to us, hoping Grandma would come back. After a few minutes the mother came into the park (house was across the street) and took over the pushing. However, after a few minutes she took a phone call and left the park, her son still in the swing! This family has never met me before, and did not know if that was my charge, my son, or what! I was very angry about this because it also put me in the awkward position of not being able to give 100% to my charge b/c I felt guilty and concerned for M. Eventually the mother came back and I quickly pulled my charge out of the swing and left the park. It is just unbelievable to me how parents and caregivers can be so passive with their child's safety!
39 comments:
How weird for you, OP, and dangerous for that other 2 yr. old. My first thought after reading your post was maybe it was a cultural thing...? You said grandma didn't speak English. I don't know where it might be the norm to leave a child alone in a park with a total stranger, but maybe this family was visiting from somewhere else where that IS what they do. I can't understand anyone being so careless.
I'm sorry, but I would've said to the Mother when she came back:
"You owe me $10.00 for watching your son today."
She would've gotten the point real quick, and left with her tail between her legs!
Girl, you never told me all this happened, I know of the woodchip situation but I didn't know Grandma had left. I would have called the police, 911, and told them you were at the playground and the grandma just left without the child. In that area they would have gotten there fast and could witness it all. Let me eventually be there and see this and watch what happens.
Wow, I can't believe she just left him there! I'm a nanny as well and I don't know what I would have done in that situation. In a way I agree with nanny b on calling the police, but not sure if I would have done anything that drastic. I might have said something to the mom about the dangers of leaving a two year old in a park but seems like she should know that. Anyway, sorry you had that experience!
i'd have called the police.
Really. If you had a phone you should have called the police.
But you sound really kind and they probably saw that. Not thats acceptable. But some people don't care about their kids.
This post is worthless unless you give a description of the grandmother.
How do you expect a parent to be warned by giving the vaguest "non english speaking" as a description.
Was the person black, white, hispanic, oriental, jewish, etc?
Worthless post.
It's times like that when you call 911. Do it next time it happens, pls. Just imagine if it wasn't you but was a sexual offender.
I don't have sympathy for people who lose your children to the state for such blatant neglect and ignorance. Though I'd rather see the child end up in a family who cares for it that dead in a ditch. Shame on the mom!
5:46 PM:
Did you read the post? The MOM came to the park.
OP, you may well see this child again. If so, and he is left alone, call the police.
They probably were making a drug run. Making a deal to meet up with her pimp as well
anyone feel like cheesecake?
Call 911 definitely. If they did it with you, they probably do it all the time and next time it could be a sex offender! You never know what they look like, take it from someone who has to see them all the time where I work. People really need to be more careful or need to have the police called so someone can do the right thing as obviously the 2 lazy jerks in the child's own family are not!
5:46 -
please tell me how you can give a description of someone who is jewish. you sound like a moron. please just don't talk.
grandma and mom were smoking the weed
Hmmm. I have several Jewish friends. I can recognize a couple of them as being clearly of Jewish descent, and somwe of them do not have physical charachteristics of being Jewish at all. Sometimes you can see it.
I am Scandinavian. It is obvious by my appearance. You wouldn't guess by looking at my sister that she is too.
Just want to nip in the bud any prolonged discussion abut 5:46 being prejudiced or racist. There's nothing wrong with saying somebody looks Jewish...unless you follow it up with a derogatory comment or are known to hold Jews in disdain...which I have seen neither of in the 5:46 post.
I think we know, by now, the motives of people who always raise the "racist comment" issue.
I personally don't appreciate anyone suggesting that someone 'looks' Jewish. Race is a genetic distinction, and refers to people with shared ancestry and shared genetic traits. Common ancestry is not required to be a Jewish and don't forget the many converts.
Well I consider myself enlightened and will remember that in the future. I would not have guessed that somebody wouldn't like that. One of our longtime best friends is very proud of his Jewish ancestry...and expecially that he looks "identifiable" as such.
I really hope I don't offend you with this question, but your comment legitimately makes me wonder. And I am interested in learning. Is there any prejudice among the Jewish community between those who look like they are descended from Jewish ancestry and those who may have converted but don't share the ancestry? I ask because I am now suddenly wondering...becasue of your comment, and because my one friend in particular(and his family) are very proud to be "racially" Jewish. It was from them that I learned that "people are considered to be Jewish only if the birth mother is Jewish...because you always know who the mother of a child is and the father might just not be who you think." I never gave that any real thought before...but that would leave out a whole lot of jewish converts...who I'm sure don't want to be thought of as less legitimate, and might legitimately find that type of comment offensive. So anyway...that...along with your comment now makes me curious.
I'm sorry if this is a touchy subject and I'm saying anything wrong. I really am just trying to figure this out now because I am so surprised to find that anybody who is Jewish would be offended to be told that they look so.
What exactly are you saying when you say someone looks Jewish? I am English and Jewish. I have friends that are Russian, French, Polish and Yugoslavian and Jewish. So what is it you think you are seeing?
Let's end this discussion now before it gets ugly. Can you tell someone is French if they aren't speaking? What about Slavic? What about Episcopalian?
Stop, already.
Mom,
you missed the point entirely.
Jewish people do not have common ancestry. Are you aware that Israel is only 60 years old?
Repeat, Jewish people do not have common ancestry. Jane then remarked about converts. So we have converts, PLUS people that do not have common ancestry.
Jane is saying that Jewish is not a race. Are you following?
I live in an area with a large Jewish population; I used to work at the only grocery store in town with a Jewish market/deli and now live across the street from the Jewish Community Center and when I see certain people walking along the sidewalk or in the grocery store I can tell they are Jewish. I am not saying that all Jewish people look a certain way or fit into a stereotype (and that goes with any population; I am hispanic but often get mistaken for Mediterranean and my hispanic boyfriend has pale skin, red cheeks, and green eyes and no one thinks he is one drop Mexican!) but a good portion of the Jewish population do look, dress, and/or carry themselves in a certain way. I can't really even describe it, sometimes you can just tell. When the previous poster said did they look "black, white, hispanic, oriental, jewish, etc" I knew what they meant; and obviously just because someone is Jewish doesn't mean they have to LOOK jewish or can't be on or several of the other listed things.
OK, I think I get it. I'm choosing to go with the concept that Jewish is not a race. That makes sense. Is that what you were trying to say Jane?
I have no idea about the origins of the "ethnically Jewish" people and Israel being only 60 years old. I had always assumed that meant the physical descendants of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob.
Anyway, I really don't want to start anything. I have the highest respect for the Jewish people...and the friends I have who I would have (until I learned something today) said "looked Jewish" are quite attractive..so it was certainly NOT meant in any derogatory way.
I truly just wanted to learn what the sensitivity is...since I wasn't aware that there even might be any before now (except, obviously, concerning the few lunkheads who hold some prejudice...but there are always a few of those about every group), and I don't want to go around unintentionally offending anybody. I felt bad that I may have made Jane feel bad. I don't want to do that to others when maybe I think I am actually saying something nice! I would have thought looking Jewish was a compliment...but it does perhaps leave many other Jewish people feeling left out...which is something that never entered my mind before today. My knowledge on the subject is admittedly limited...but I am interested to learn.
Anyway, I was hoping for a nice discussion between adults where some of us who might be unaware of certain things could possibly learn something. There is no reason for it to be a fight...or for it to "get ugly" as somebody mentioned above.
Is it not OK to even mention that there are different groups of people without people assuming that you don't like a certain group, or that you mean to insult them by singling them out?
PS What I am curious to know (if anybody who is knowledgeable on the subject cares to give a thoughtful, non angry, non prejudiced answer)...and what I was trying to ask a few hours back...is whether some of what I have learned about being Jewish was taught to me by Jewish people who maybe were raised to have a certain prejudice against other Jewish people. (However, my friends are nice people and I have never heard them express any "superiority"...or any disdain for any others.)
The things that do raise that question in my mind, however, are the comments here that Jewish is not a race, in contrast with the pride of heritage that certain of my friends have expressed. (And the thing especially about knowing somebody is really Jewish if it is certain that they have a Jewish mother. That obviously speaks to ethnicity and leaves out those who have converted.)
I am making no judgments and no assertions. I am purely wanting to KNOW about this subject.
Please don't bother answering if your only intention is to cause trouble or be an ass.
Yes, Mom, that is what I was trying to say. I was less than clear and I apologize.
:)
Not sure I get your question, mom.
I think that historically people were supposed to look out for people who looked Jewish and they used unkind and sterotypical words to define their appearance. This was back in those days.
My sister married a Jewish man. Even though my sister is raising her sons in the Jewish religion, they are not recognized as Jewish because my sister is still a Catholic. Is that the curiosity you had? I think it is unfortunate because I have heard that people are concerned that Judaism could die out as people stop practicing and intermarriage, so I don't understand why it is as it is. Well I don't understand. I don't think we should talk about this.
Something wrong will get said.
ime, when people say a person *looks jewish*, what they actually mean is that the person looks specifically like an eastern european jew. judaism is not a race, and the reason we jews gets so darn prickly when people say it is because fellow named hitler wrote a book containing his thoughts on the matter then slaughtered 6 million of us. hope that clears up any confusion.
Thank you, lindalou.
mom
I know you are just curious and would never intentionally mean to say something wrong, especially about such a sensitive subject.
Thank you to all of you who answered. I do have a clearer picture now...and whoever suggested we drop it before somebody says something intentionally mean probably has a good point. Too bad though...because I do think that this is one case where a lot of "prejudice" appearing actions and comments really are simply a matter of innocent ignorance and misinformation, and people may be hurting one another completely unintentionally.
Lindalou, I am sensitive to h's unkind stereotypes, but choose to dismss him as an evil and insane person whose thoughts and ideas (hopefully) mean nothing to anybody (who is not also crazy and filled with hate) anymore. But I do understand your sensitivity given the history (and probably the fact that there are still some hateful idiots out there. Again, those people's ideas I dismiss along with h's as crazy and not worth rubbing two brain cells together to thnk about.) But I realize it's easier for me to put h aside in my mind and dismiss him that it is somebody who may have been personally affected.
So anyway, thank you people who responded, Hoepfully others here were enlightened somewhat as well.
mom, why is my name in front of all that? i've scarcely commented on this thread, and i've certainly done nothing to demonize anyone. wth?
Lindalou,
I addressed that particular paragraph to you because you said this:
"ime, when people say a person *looks jewish*, what they actually mean is that the person looks specifically like an eastern european jew. judaism is not a race, and the reason we jews gets so darn prickly when people say it is because fellow named hitler wrote a book containing his thoughts on the matter then slaughtered 6 million of us. hope that clears up any confusion."
I was just trying to say that I think I understand your point...and I get why it is a sensitive subject for so many. And that it is my hope that most people are now more enlightened than they were then.
I get the feeling you think I am trying to pick on you. (You said something in another thread that made me think the same thing.) I'm really not. I promise. But I suppose this just illustrates even further what a very sensitive subject this really is...and I think we should probably just let it go before anybody gets their feelings hurt. If I have hurt anybody's feeling, I assure you it was completely unintentional, and I apologize.
What I "know" about Judaism I mostly "learned" as a child/teen from my Jewish friends. Some things said here made me think I had some misinformed ideas and I simply wanted somebody with actual knowledge on the subject to clarify for me. That's all. Nothing more. We can't learn if we don't ask.
Mom
You rock, baby!
Lindalou
We appreciate your input! Please don't be defensive, ok?
:)
Mom,
Here are some famous Jewish people.
Helen Hunt, Sean Penn, David Lee Roth, Peggy Lipton, Amanda Bynes, Lou Reed, Jamie Lee Curtis, Rachel Bilson, Jennifer Jason Leigh, Zac Efron, Jake Gyllenhaal, Scarlett Johansson, Barbi Benton, Lesley Ann Warren, Natalie Portman, Michael Bolton, David Arquette, Barbara Walters, Elizabeth Berkley, Paul Michael Glaser, Michael Vartan, Maury Povich, Lauren Bacall , Brooke Burke, Ted Koppel, Jennifer Connelly, Missy Gold, Christopher Guest, Linda McCartney, Chelsea Handler, Jane Seymour, Kate Hudson, Joaquin Phoenix, Pink, Leah Remini, Howie Mandel, Keri Russell, Courtney Love, Cindy Margolis, Henry Winkler, Julianna Margulies, Joey Ramone, Nina Hartley, Joan Lunden, Steven Seagal, Nell Carter, Judith Light, Michael Landon, Tina Louise, Charlotte Rae, Mae West, Bob Dylan, Harry Houdini, Caprice Bourret, Lindsey Vuolo, Bess Myerson, Miss America, Gloria Allred, Wolf Blitzer, Connie Chung, Clive Davis, Winona Ryder, Fred Savage, Alicia Silverstone, Paula Abdul, Jack Black, Robby Benson, Lisa Bonet, Matthew Broderick, Jon Favreau, Brad Garrett, Gina Gershon, Tony Randall, Melissa Gilbert, Danny Kaye, Mike Wallace, Roseanne Barr, Harry Connick Jr, Katie Couric,Daryl Hannah, Marlee Matlin, Kyra Sedgwick, Ally Sheedy, Paul Reubens, Mare Winningham, Mary Hart, Harrison Ford, Andrew Dice Clay, Beck, Kitty Carlisle, Gene Simmons, Paul Stanley, Professional Wrestlers: Bill Goldberg, Paul Heyman, Barry Horowitz, Scott Levy, Scott Colton, Dean Simon, Matthew Bloom, Brian Knobbs, Brian Pillman, Jerry Sags, Marc Mero
And Jane, I got what you were saying and appreciated it.
xxxx & ooooos
i apologize, mom. i misread your post. i completely misread. d'oh!
Thanks Melamonk!
Yes, they all "look Jewish", especially Connie Chung and Nell Carter! So much for stereotypes.
Thanks,
I thought some visuals would help.
G'night.
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