Received Monday, March 17, 2008-Rants and Warnings
For anyone hiring a nanny in NYC:
Warning if you interview a young Polish woman named Kate. Attractive, Blonde, mid 20's, well experienced.We hired her with very clear terms 3 weeks ago and she quit after 2 days because her fiance didn't want her to work late hours (although she agreed on the terms weeks before starting work). She explained that he did not want her to work in this manner and that she needed to quit. Needless to say that her peronal matter in not our business except that she was irresponsible to take the job( & we replaced another nanny with her)without discussing terms with her controlling boyfriend. Her description of her peronal situation made me believe she was in a controlling, perhaps abusive situation. We nor does anybody need to expose their children to exposure to unstable, potentially dangerous crazy boyfriends.
32 comments:
Or maybe Kate just didn't like the job and blamed her fiance. I don't want you to think I am saying there is anything wrong with you or your kids, per se, just that it might not have been the job for her.
I have "put the blame" on my Hubby and he on me for many sticky situations when we just felt uncomfortable being completely honest. In our 21 years married and 25 years together we have "Blamed" each other for everything including quitting jobs that weren't working out (When we were much younger) To canceling dinner plans or not attending weddings.
I still think the OP is right and people should use caution if interviewing Kate.
I don't think it's right to post on a national web site not to hire this woman based on what you've said. You have no idea what her relationship is like with her boyfriend and maybe they both figured the hours were too much.It's very irresponsible and immature to say that she's in a abusive relationship. Though she shouldn't have excepted the job and then changed her mind two days in, maybe you just really rubbed her the wrong way and she decided to get out now instead of after a few months.
no, tx. This site exists to help people warn others of bad situations for kids. People can write this kind of thing on a "national" website and do whatever they want.
Actually, you can't write anything you want on a site like this. If you write somthing that is false and directly inhibits a person's ability to earn a living, you can be held liable for monetary damages. And as you say this site is to ensure what's best for kids. And for whatever reasons she left, it's best for the kids that 'Kate" did so quickly, before any attachments were made. I'm sorry to say, I think this post is just a way to try to get even by an employer who is pissed that the nanny left so quickly and abruptly.
Shes just upset, because the nanny slept with her husband. Yes, its true.
That Nanny worked quick if she bagged Hubby in 2 days ... but I doubt it. I also think the Mom is pissed Nanny figured it wouldn't be a 'perfect fit', and left while the gettin' was good.
The Mom has made too many assumptions. Abusive BF is way different than one that is a bit controlling, or just trying to look out for Nannies best interest.
She doesn't know for sure ...
Yes Tweetle I suppose you're right, people can write whatever they want on here and I can say I think it's immature and irresponsible. See it works both ways.
I wonder if Kate was being paid competitively, and if perhaps a better job offer came through after she had accepted yours. I have quit a job or two shortly after accepting because a better offer came through.
Yeah, it's not nice - but you gotta do what you gotta do!
Of course it works both ways, tx. You can say whatever you want and so can everyone else. Duh. My point exactly.
Given the mom's vindictive post, I would say the nanny made a wise decision. She saw she wouldn't be happy working for her, and ran!
It totally sounds like the mom was overworking the nanny and she got the hell out quick, actually doing the parents a favour. By the way, why hire stranger care at all to begin with, why don't you stay home and look after your kids yourself. You had them, look after them now. If you don't you will certainly pay the price down the line. Our childhoods are more influential in our adult lives than any other factor. I don't care if it's the dad or the mom, but for God's sake, someone look after them, no one else can care for your children like a parent can, let's face it, children can be so boring and demanding, if it's hard for a parent, imagine for a stranger, they don't care at all. Be a parent, stay home.
Doesnt matter what happened, a portion of nannies, approx 5 percent of nannies are serial nannies. They go from family to family and stay for as long as it suits them, they leave in the middle of the night, or with some awful excuse. They dont even know what they are looking for but they hurt many good families in their search.
I think the mother is making too many assumptions.Before you were married didn't you include your boyfriend in some of your major choices/decisions?You need to just let go, no need to warn people about hiring this young lady.I did the same thing with my boyfriend at that time in my life and I couldn't ask for a better husband and father of my kids.
Learn how to spell...the word is perSonal....perSonal....perSonal...
To all who replied to my post. Sorry, my "S" on computer was jammed, that's why personal was continually mispelled.More facts: "Kate" worked w/ both our family & our friend's family on alternating days.She quit both of us.And both my husband & I work from home so we do take care of our child ourselves, just need an extra hand.She honestly said she did not take another job, she honestly told me that she did not want to upset her fiance that's why she had to quit.It was not personal. I felt sorry for her as her voice was quivering & she sounded scared. None of this is exaggerated.She was great at the job, we would have kept her forever.My post was not vindictive just a cautionary tale to warn of a potential employee who is brought into one's house to take care of one's children.Controlling boyfriends can be dangerous & I would not want one w/ my home address nor would I think anyone else would.If you do not believe me or want to fantasize her reason for leaving the job fine then YOU take the risk & hire her.
actually, posting a bad work reference anywhere is ilegal. It is also ilegal to give a bad past tenant reference. kate can sue the employers for this rant!
Reason, it is ilegal to interfere with someones right to support themseleves and right to provide shelter for themselves and family..The law states you may reply" I am unable to give you a reference at this time"
Just an FYI
Since we dont know Kate's last name, this rant is perfectly legal.
OP: you need someone to slap you, and I am not a violent person but even I can see this.
I think you are feeling insulted that the nanny didn't find your family "fabulous" as Ali G's Bruno would say. Maybe she just felt the job would be a "nish nish." You are silly to post this. Why would you? What would be the personal gain in it for you? And don't tell me that you feel you are doing your part for society. There is no reason to post anything negative about this girl. If her she and her family decided that this job wasn't right for her, she has every right to back out.
Are you aware that this is America and that slavery is dead? Again, I say to you, "nish nish."
You are irritated, annoyed, inconvenienced and pissed. All normal emotions.
However, get the hell over it, chief.
Really. Please.
Gosh.
I just want to know why a dead thread is getting action again?
That's what HE said!
The Bruno references made my skin crawl.
Oy.
I just felt like commenting on it.
Sorry if it was a "nish nish" for you.
It was a definite "ach-ya" for me.
JerseyJaqui,
I am unable to comment on your blog because apparently you only accept comments from people who are on your "buddy list."
I don't believe in censoring, so I'm commenting here.
Your blog is the most boring blog in the world. I would love to hear what you have to say about Kerouac, Ginsberg, Plath, or Vonnegut.
I'm guessing it's not much other than what you've read in the cliffs notes.
You are an embarrassment to bloggers everywhere.
Funny. I have over 100 subscribers who say otherwise. It's a myspace blog. I never claimed I was a blogger. It's one part of my myspace page. Myspace usually isn't a true blogger's BLOGGING MEDIUM. You seem like an expert. I'm surprised you didn't take that into consideration before you attacked me.
And you're accusing me of censoring because only friends can comment? Haha please, I think you're reaching a bit there.
It's ok that you don't like my blog. It's ok that you find it boring..I'm not sure why you are taking a defensive tone, implying that I'd feel otherwise. I would never expect everyone, or even the majority of people, to enjoy what I say or the play by plays of my daily life. You're ranting on like I made a statement indica ting I am an awesome blogger, THE BLOGGER and everyone should agree with me.
You sound extremely angry and it appears as though I am the person you took it out on today.
Sorry I couldn't give you the reaction you wanted though.
Calm down and take care.
Think Jersey,
Is this Peter a disgruntled ex, someone with a looming crush, someone you accidentally stepped on? He sounds like he is hurt and longing for your recognition...
Hmmmmmmm
Wow Peter. You don't like her myspace? You find it boring and her of no interest? But you bother to track her down on another blog to speak to her? Creepy!
I think 3:42 is right.
How is it tracking someone down when they list themself as a blogger? All you do is click on their name and see what their blog or profile says. If people don't want people reading their blog, they should list themselves as anon.
I went to Jackie's blog myself.
It is kind of boring.
It's not a disgruntled ex. Just another whiny, pseudo intellectual. Guarantee it. I say that because he brought up all the popular beat era writers and kind of claimed them as his own. I also bet he's under the age of 21.
And 5:34...when did I say I didn't want people reading my blog?
Now you're being catty by adding insult to injury.
I could see if you were trying to take me down a peg or two by insulting my blog...I could understand this if I was running around claiming I was the best blogger around and that I led the most interesting life...But I never indicated that...Half the time, my blog is private, set so only friends can read that. If I was really into being some sort of world renowned blogger, I don't think I'd be using myspace and I think it would be a lot more public. I didn't do or say anything to warrant such ridiculous and catty insults.
Get a damn grip.
get a grip? Jaquijersey sounds like you are the one who needs to get a grip. Why not play it cool? Your responses suggest that you are bothered quite a bit by the remarks. If you were more confident, you wouldn't feel the need to respond.
I too hate pseudo intellectuals, such as people claiming to have read books that they have not read.
Good for you to avoid hiring such a disastrously unprofessional woman! After all, if she had taken the job, her abusive boyfriend might have brutally murdered her, which might have inconvencied you when you had one of your weekly regatta committee luncheons :0
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