Received Wednesday, March 5, 2008Spot: Russell Pederson Playground-Bay Ridge-Brooklyn
Time: 2:20-2:40 PM, today. (3/5)
Nanny: A Jamaican accented woman, with dark skin, with a long denim skirt, over weight, wearing a short sleeved pastel purple top. Hair was short and wavy.
Child: A boy with curly brown hair, olive skin, a striped shirt. blues & white. Blue jeans. green windbreaker.
What: Nanny was drinking a Carvel beverage out of a Carvel cup. The child had Carvel in a cup. An ice cream or sundae. the boy wanted to play. The nanny told him to sit down and eat every last bite of the sundae. the serving cup was pretty big and the child was pudgy. I couldn't understand why it was so important that the child eat so much junk during the middle of the day, especially if he didn't want it.
19 comments:
And........
she just wanted to not have to monitor his whereabouts in the park. This is like the bench nannies in the park by me who keep their 2 yos strapped in the stroller the whole time feeding them snacks and candy to occupy them. See it so often.
I see no issue here. Yes, true the child may have benefited from the playing. However we do not know what happened at Carvel.
That child may have been told No snacks or a small one, and the child may have thrown a tantrum. In response to said tantrum the nanny may have said if you get it you will eat it all before playing.
So If and again we do not really KNOW for sure what happened, But IF that is how it went than she wa in the right to make shorty sit and eat it. After all you do not want her telling a child things to which she does not follow through with and teaching the kid that she only makes threats.
Key thing is we do not know what went on, and this is well sort of FAR from a issue in my eyes. I just think with so many other things going on in this world this is the least of ones worries.
I live in Bay Ridge, and I know that moms in this neighborhood would be very appreciative to know of an incident like this. Thanks for posting.
As a mom I've lived this scenario and can probably tell you what went down before arrival at the park.
They saw a carvel and the child begged, pleaded, cajoled and whined for an ice-cream. The nanny said "We are on the way to the park and you won't finsih it" Child promised he would so nanny gave in and then ZOOM! As soon as they got to the park the ice-cream (which costs a small fortune these days) is forgotten. So nanny says. "You don't play until you finish this" I've been down this road more than once!
I employ a good nanny in Bay Ridge and this would never fly. And I can tell you we spoke about it and true there is not enough to know what is going on, but if you live in the area and see the Caliber of nannies, then sure as betting, the nanny was sucking on a 40 oounce shake or something and didn't want the child to go play or move or require anything of her until she was damn good and ready.
9:46 good posting.
About the theories that say that if the kid was begging and made a deal with the nanny, then the nanny should follow through...
What about following through with the original "no?" What about making a deal where the child earns the treat for next time? Even tots in strollers can "earn" treats through good behavior or simple chores. This could have turned that theoretical scenario into a teachable moment about delayed gratification, cause and effect, and given the child a sense of accomplishment.
If buying the kid that particular "treat" would be a waste of money if he didn't finish it all, maybe it wasn't an appropriate treat. If the portion was too big for the child to begin with, perhaps the nanny should have ordered a smaller size or requested to be served a smaller portion. When I order sundaes for my son, the portion is usually too much for me, so I request a half-portion for him. He still gets the treat, there isn't leftover icecream melting all over the place so I don't feel like it's going to waste, and I'm teaching him portion control. If he's done before it's gone, so be it. We toss the rest. His health and learning healthy habits are more important than the icecream, the money, or having the upper hand.
I am a firm believer that when kids are full, they are full. We are born knowing when to stop eating, then we are trained to clear our plates--a habit that leads to health problems later on. Teaching a child that they must finish a large portion of anything when their bodies are telling them to stop is a dangerous habit to get into.
I'm with you 11:46. IF the decision is being made to give a child an ice cream that he asks for, he should get a child-size portion, and if it isn't available, I'd much rather the leftovers go to waste and he get the benefit of a)knowing for himself when to stop eating and b)playing, as kids are supposed to enjoy doing.
If he was pudgy, there are probably other issues going on here. Maybe his parents believe he should be allowed to eat whatever he wants and the nanny thinks it's a way to discourage him from overeating by requiring he eat every last bite? This reminds me of the poor little boy who was being spanked for a potty accident–it may be due to very bad adult handling of some important control lessons a child needs to learn for himself.
OR it could just be that she was a lazy nanny who wanted to finish her 40 oz. shake in peace.
Excellent post 11:46!
I remember growing up and not being taught good eating habits and started out having negative issues with food. I was always told, "clean your plate before you get up from the table."
Very unrealistic ... especially since most people (at least back then), didn't understand correct portion size for kids ... they'd just dump the food onto your plate and expect you to eat it all.
I made sure to never make it an issue with my son. I have a variety of fruits and veggies cut up in the fridge and portioned into little snack baggies and whenever he feels like a snack, he can just reach in and grab it. He's proud of himself because he's learning how to make his own decisions about what he wants to eat, and it's healthy.
9:46, I have been there too! With both my own child and my charges! And while I am very strict and good at saying no, there are times it's not worth the fight, and I have given in. I wouldn't force them to finish a large portion of anything, but I have been known to make them relax a moment and at least eat some of it, if they made such a production about having it.
I have had my own child and my charges carry on as if a cookie or a toy or something else was their entire world only to have them toss it aside as soon as they get it because they are distracted by something else. And, if I do relent and give in on occasion then I also want to teach them that they can't just get and waste.
Also, to the person talking about the caliber of nannies in Bay Ridge, well shame on the parents! And shame on friends, neighbors and strangers that don't speak up and identify these women! Shame on the nannies as well!
I also want to add that I am overweight and I teach healthy eating habits to me teenage daughter, who is 5 ft 4 inches and 115 pounds. When she was 10 pounds over weight I made sure her doctor went over healthy eating habits and the importance of exercise and she lost the weight she needed to.
I am also perfectly capable of running climbing, interacting and playing with my charges. Anyone who sees me on the jungle Gym with them knows this. Overweight does not equal lazy. Lazy equals lazy!
Some people need hobbies.
Sheesh. So much self righteousness.
Reporting someone for something as trivial as this is borderline irresponsible.
Like several posters have said, you have NO idea what the circumstances surrounding this ice cream were. And regardless of how the nanny "should be" teaching the child that NO MEANS NO the first time around, the lack of follow through and discipline hardly warrants a bad nanny sighting.
Sometimes people who originally comment on a post are taken off the beaten path and start their own blogging of sorts and it get's into personal issues.
Just because you see someone bitching about feeding a kid ice cream, it's not like they are saying this nanny should be hung and whipped.
Don't be so sensitive. It's not so much about the sighting here. See how everyone is confiding their deepest darkest secrets?
I don't think it's right that people are potentially playing games with someone's livelihood by reporting these so-called bad nanny sightings. Regardless if they don't think alleged bad nanny should be tarred and feathered, it's not responsible to accuse someone of something when they have VERY little information regarding the situation.
I have seen just as many LEGIT bad nanny sightings as I have ridiculous ones on this site.
I just think people should be careful and responsible when reporting these nannies.
I understand the blogging goes off on tangents, and I actually like that, but the original post IS still there, for everyone to see.
jxj
I agree with you, to a point.
We really have no choice but to take OP's word when reporting a bad nanny. We weren't there, so we aren't given the full effect of what happened in any particular situation.
But you're right - people that do post about bad nannies should be really careful and make damn sure they are reporting the factual truth, with no embellishments.
Fatbutfrisky, I LOVE your moniker!
As a mom I'm with you. You can't be a warden 24/7 always saying no. Sometimes, we give in.
I thought this over for a few days and I honestly don't see a horrible nanny sighting here. I think it's pretty trivial.
Maybe this is the white bread ball child, just a little bit older now?
Have any of you people ever talked to a nanny? Are you even aware of the fact that most of them have their own kids being cared for by others in frequently a less than perfect situation? How about the fact that most of you probably claim to be pro-woman, feminists, etc. but you would never extend your mindset to include women of color or lower income (or fat since there is so much fat bashing in these posts). If you are so worried, stay home with your kids.
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