Friday

Nanny Injured on the Job...

Received Friday, March 7, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I'm a nanny who was injured on the job (took a tumble in employer's home). I think I'm OK, but was maybe more injured by my employer's reaction (NON-reaction) after the fact...she pretty much ignored the incident, and didn't even ask (when I came to work the day after) if I was alright, or feeling OK.

I'd like to hear from other nannies how they've handled (been treated) getting hurt on the job. In my state, domestic employees are not covered by workers compensation. I wonder what would have happened had this been a more serious injury, and my ability to do my job, or return to work for a time had been affected. Thanks for any guidance you can offer.

61 comments:

A Fabulous Nanny said...

I personally think you're overreacting a bit. If it was just a tumble, and you were obviously up and functioning afterwards, there's no reason for the mother to really coddle you. I also don't feel there was any reason for her to check on you the next day. Obviously if you weren't okay, then you wouldn't have come in. Granted it would have been kind and nice to extend a nice word, but maybe it's just not her personality.

If you really feel that your employers wouldn't help you if something were to happen in the home- monetarily or otherwise- I'd start taking a hard look at why you're there? Even though I don't always see eye to eye with mine, they are always supportive and do what it takes to keep me. I know there are other great mothers and fathers out there who need nannies- maybe you need to find one??

Anonymous said...

My Employer was just the opposite. Almost paranoid even ... and I think it's because they were worried I was going to sue.
(Which I wouldn't have, I loved that job too much ... and it was the best paying job I'd ever had.)

I took a pretty serious fall off of a deck and tore up my knee. I was out of work for a week, and returned in one of those braces. They called daily asking how I was.

I think like 'a fabulous Nanny' said - it depends on how serious the injury was.

JustMe said...

I find it odd that she didn't ask how you were doing. Isn't it just nice to ask someone, no matter how well you know them, if they are okay after they fell or got injured. I ask people who I see in everyday life if they are ok when I see them stumble or fall. Also, you'd think that she would genuinely care about you seeing as how you are taking care of her children. Maybe she was just off that day, preoccupied with something. Don't make a rash judgement based on this one incident...judge from how she always treats you. If there is always unconcern for you as a person, then maybe that family is not for you. Currently I am working for a family I have been with for 3 years, and every morning and night not only do the parents ask how I am, but how my husband, parents, siblings, and grandparents are. They are amazing and I count myself lucky (as do they....they tell me on a regular basis).

Sue Doe-Nim said...

I dunno.

My kids are little, both in Elementary school. There are so many bruises and cuts, tumbles and accidents around here that if you fell in my home it might just escape me.

Sometimes mothers of younger kids (like me) forget that most adults don't have bruises on their shins.

It could be an honest mistake.

A Fabulous Nanny said...

Right I agree with the others as far as how does she normally act? Could this have just been an off day?

I don't mean to push you to quit haha- just sit down and think about on a daily basis. And if you feel that they wouldn't be willing to be helpful if something happened, then maybe it's time to start thinking about looking somewhere else.

Anonymous said...

12:45 your right

Anonymous said...

When I twisted my ankle on an extension cord after tripping over it at my former employers home, she was very cool to me about it. Only months later did she admit that when she told her husband what had happened, he immediately called the family attorney and was advised to offer no sympathy or apologies, as either would be admissible in court by me should I decide to sue. Needless to say, I quit soon after.

Anonymous said...

I too had an injury a few years ago while at work, I was in a knee brace for a few days and on crutches. Want to know what the parents said "well you will have to deal, we are to busy to take care of it". yeah, try telling that to my poor knee and their toddler. we got through it but it really goes to show how unfeeling bosses can be. give us your kids to take care of, expect us to love them and help you raise them, and then not care what happens to us

Jerseyxjacqui said...

Wow 1:13. I would have quit too. That's no way to be treated.

OP, a little tumble? Did you break or sprain anything? Was there a lot of blood? If not, I'm not sure what the big deal is...It was a little rude for her not to ask how you were the next day, but like another poster mentioned it may have just slipped her mind...guess it depends on how SEVERE the "tumble" was.

Also, was your tumble due to your own error or was there something unsafe/unsturdy in the house that you unknowingly came across which caused the accident?

People are a little too quick to jump the legal gun when they get minor injuries at work. Sometimes ya trip and fall, through no fault BUT your own..

BUT, I will ask..How ARE you feeling? :-)

Carrie said...

I am a nanny for a wonderful family. This past winter, I fell outside the family's home on the steps and fractured my tailbone. The mother saw me limping and in pain right after it happened. She didn't ask so much about me being ok, as she did asking me if I was going to sue them. To be honest, that stung a little, as I took it to be a reflection of my character.

Other than that, it didn't really bother me that she wasn't super concerned about how I was. We have a great relationship otherise and they treat me like family, rather than an employee. If your employer has a good track record other than this, I wouldn't look too deeply into it. On the other hand, if she's always this laize faire and unconcerned about you and your well-being, I would head for the door. Trust me, there are much better famililes out there you can work for.

Emily said...

If you fell in the home of your employer, their home insurance will cover any medical expenses you may have as a result. Legally, you may be out of luck if something happens outside the home.

Why don't you use this incident to be the opener for a frank discussion about this issue w/your boss. Tell her that what happened got you thinking and you want to talk about what might happen in the event of a major injury, especially in the light of your state's WC policies.

I'm worried for you since it sounds like you probably don't have health insurance yourself. Is your contract up for renegotiation anytime soon? (I'm hoping you have one.) if it is, include HI in the conversation. If your employers resist, consider finding a new job. No one should be forced to live w/o at least emergency medical insurance. Medical bills, usually unexpected ones, are the #1 cause of bankrupcy in the US.

Anonymous said...

Why do so many of you commentors seem mystified by why the OP is concerned? She's not worried about this injury, she said it was minor. She's thinking about her future. That kind of forward thinking shouldn't be confusing or criticized.

jerseyxjacqui said...

Yah, you're right 2:52. I was too busy focusing on the injury itself...

Emily, good suggestion-perfect opportunity to bring it to the table.

Anonymous said...

Um, maybe I'm crazy - but don't you think bringing up a question such as: "what are you gonna do the next time I'm *really* hurt" might make the homeowner/employer, turn tail and run?
Nobody likes the thought of being sued.

Carrie
Your really close with your family? But they showed no concern for your welfare after you were injured? Gee, strangers treat me better than that. I feel bad for you, and they are not being nice.

At least after the mom found out she wasn't being sued, she could've shown some compassion.
I bet it stung more than just a little?

nynanny said...

Wow! i am shocked OP! this EXACT same thing happened to me yesterday! i fell down about 5 of my employers stairs and really hurt my shoulder blade, elbow and lower back. it really shook me up, so much so that i asked the 4 year old to get me an ice pack! i told the parents to be careful on the stairs so they didn't fall to and they said "oh, ok" umm hello, i FELL down your STAIRS! then today they didn't even ask how i was feeling! i think they might have been trying to down play it so they don't feel obligated to pay for a Dr.'s appt. if i need one.

emily said...

Ummm, 3:42, your comment makes me think you must be very young. Yes, no one likes to think of being sued, but these are the kind of conversations adults have to have, especially when they employ someone. Her employer should respect the fact that she's thinking ahead. That's an invaluable trait in a nanny.

Anonymous said...

emily
I definately side with the nanny, I agree with you there, and think she ought to be able to talk to the employer, but as I said, I don't think they'd be too happy to hear it.

Anonymous said...

Here is a horror story for you. I worked with a family who never cared about anything but themselves. Not even their kids. I was with mom, their 3 year old son (Who has angry management issues and parents abuse him one way or another). Anyway, we were at Toys R Us and the 3 year old was riding a bike. He kept riding into people. Mom never punished him, never played with him and or did anything together as a family. Anyway, I told him that if he ran into some one else he would have to get off the bike. Not only did he run into someone, (A little old lady that unforately broke her hip) but when I tried to take him off- he bit me so hard in the stomach (I recently had surgery a couple months before) The scar broke open. I was in shock and the bleeding. The mother just stood over me and the kid and did not do anything. Mangaer ended up calling for an ambulance and took me to the hospital. I needed 10 stitches to close it up. I went to work the next day- and the mom told me it was my fault that he bit me. In the 3 months I was there (at the house) I recived that bite, 3 pairs of broken glasses, a broken finger (all in the hands of that 3 year old- who is huge and looks like he is 6. Big and built.

I left everyday in tears. And this was the only position I have quit. I had to- my life was in danger due to the physical abuse I recevied from this kid. I feel for the kids and I reported the parents (for abuse), of course, they have money and power- nothing happened.

just anonymous said...

Common decency would have been to ask if you were okay.
Several years ago I worked for a family where I got poked pretty badly with a rusty old metal hanger. Well, I ended up needing a tetanus shot and my boss was really concerned and paid for my time off to go to the dr and paid me back for my copay. I thought that was really thoughtful. She said it happened at their house so it was their fault.
Also, a friend of mine was at a nanny job where she was going under the bed for something (I think playing hide and seek, I don't remember) and tore a rip in her jeans on something sticking out. That boss gave her money to buy a new pair of jeans.
Some bosses have it all wrong. If you treat us well, we won't want to sue you! Duh!

Anonymous said...

OP here: Thanks to all willing to share their stories and perspective. I have no contact with other nannies, so this blog is a godsend to me.

To answer some of the points made so far:
Yes, I have insurance, (which employer contributes a set amount to every month), but the high deductible makes anything short of, say, open heart surgery an out-of-pocket expense.

My "tumble" was a multiple-injury incident, including a head-injury. I must admit, due to my own embarassment for having fallen, and my charges having witnessed it, I tried to down-play my injuries (honestly, I did not really know, at the time, how badly I was injured). Before I left for the day, I assured everyone I would be "just fine", I was sure of it. The next day, I was NOT fine. I was in pain, swollen, and turning black and blue.
My employer's lack of interest or concern only added INSULT to injury. I'm not looking for reasons to sue anybody, but I AM very hurt that she showed a blatant lack of concern for the well-being of someone she claims (when it works for HER) is "part of their family".
To those who suggested I put my employer's response to my injury into the perspective of how she "usually" shows regard for me...this point is well-taken. Based on past experience, I should NOT be surprised by her lack of concern or consideration. This IS how I'm usually treated.

I have read some accounts on this blogspot, of "happy" nannies who are treated like "gold", and who, I have no doubt, are truly worth it! Although I am paid a good salary, (including paid time off for their vacations, my sick days, and my own vacation days), I have never felt my contributions to this family have ever been acknowledged, or truly valued or appeciated. Mom and I have always had "issues" (my being "too" liked by her kids, my being "too" efficient, organized, capable of multi-tasking brings out the worst insecurity in her; I'm constantly feel I'm walking on eggshells). Having experienced this injury on the job just emphasized our character differences, and reinforces the truth of what I already know: this family is not the best match for me.

Thanks, again, to everyone who responded to my post!

Anonymous said...

I had very major surgery couple years ago and my boss who i have worked for 5 years never even visited me in the hospital, called or brought the kids to see me. this hurt in a way you cannot imagine, but it also taught me a valuable lesson, employers are not intersted in nannies only their own kids. we do not matter. then she was mad when i had to be out for a couple of months and needless to say she did not pay me. yet i am told regularly that i am a part of the family. all i know is that if my family treated me this way i would not want them for relatives

Anonymous said...

OP here, again...I'm so sorry, anon 10:23, that your employer seems "cut from the same cloth" as my own. I empathize with your hurt feelings. Nannies who really make the effort to give their best to the children and families we work for, really deserve more respect and consideration. Unfortunately, I'm beginning to realize we are, in the minds of "some" employers anyway, nothing more than expendable commodities. I honestly don't want to be treated like a member of their family. I'd much prefer being treated like a highly valued and trusted employee, who they know better than to risk losing. Best of luck to us both, in finding THAT!

Anonymous said...

Maybe your employer didn't ask how you were, because you TOLD HER YOU WERE FINE.

Blessed Nanny said...

wow-reading this stories makes realize how blessed I've been to have wonderful employers.

In my longest job to date, 10 years, I rolled my ankle bone to the floor after stepping on the dogs steak bone. My ankle swelled to the size of a large softball immediately. This happened about 10 days before my scheduled vacation. Not only did they pay all my medical, but I ended up with three weeks off. I remember my husband not being able to take me to the orthopedist and the momboss came and picked me to take me. She even made sure that I had greeters at the airport, a shuttle in my connector airport on the first leg of my journey while I was still on crutches.

I'm not surprised though. When I first worked for her I needed a surgery and my husbands insurance hadn't kicked in yet. She offered to pay for it without blinking.

I say it's time to move on. Yeah, you stated you weren't hurt but the fact they don't trust you enough not to sue them means that they don't trust you in other areas either.

Anonymous said...

5:38 I would have quit the first day parents who don't care. and a 3 yr old who a spoiled brat. that kids future the was he is now is not a very good one. you don't desrve to be blamed for the child bitting you. I would have sued the mom.

Anonymous said...

I don't know why nannies expect to be treated like family by their employers.

"You're like family" is just a tagline families use so that nannies will do more than a normal job would require. It's the family's way of guilting/managing you.

I found the responses on this thread interesting. I recently started working as a nanny and have often wondered if I would be compensated if an accident happened in their home or if I fall sick because of their child.

Anonymous said...

I must say, I hate when the comments devolve into an "Oh poor me!" session for the nannies (of which I'm one). If you work for a family who doesn't care or respect you there is one person to blame and you see her in the mirror.

There are plenty great families out there & the others deserve to have their nannies quit.

Anonymous said...

6:15

"You're like family" is just a tagline families use so that nannies will do more than a normal job would require. It's the family's way of guilting/managing you."

~ Excellent comment.
Although there is the rare family that actually means it ... I think the above comment is the norm. Most of these rich, elitist snobs could give 2 shits what happens to the nanny as long as she is up and at 'em, taking care of Buffy and Bentley everyday.

emily said...

There is a huge gap between "You're part of the family" and a disrespectful employer/employee relationship. I've worked full time for three families in my career as a nanny and I became family with only one of them, but that doesn't make the other two relationships bad in the slightest. It's ok to just have the respect, trust and communication one would expect in any kind of employment situation.

"You're like family" isn't a myth at all. It's just foolish to expect that every job will turn out that way. "You're a great professional and I value the way you care for my children" is totally enough for me!

Anonymous said...

OP here. Guess I left out a few crucial details. Yes, anon 12:47, the evening of my injury, I said I was "fine". Even though employer did not acknowledge or express concern about it the next day, I TOLD her about the injuries because there were some tasks I would not be able to do that day as a result. I TOLD her I hadn't realized the night before the extent of my injuries, and TOLD her I was most concerned about the head injury (TOLD her I still had a splitting headache). I was communicating in the way you do when you believe the other person actually gives a crap, and I also wanted her to know why I wasn't at the top of game that day. The whole time I'm talking to her, she's got this smirk on her face and a glazed look in her eye (I'd seen that look of complete disinterest and superiority before). She had NOTHING to say to me. I wasn't thinking about or hinting they should pay for a thing (I hadn't even gone to a Dr. yet, at that point). But that IS when I began wondering what do nannies do when hurt on the job...wondering how other employers treat their nannies when that happens.
By day 3 after my accident, I did seek medical care because of the head injury (headache not going away). I, again, told employer what the Dr. had said about it, (and btw, by this time, my bruising and swelling was quite visible and obvious). Again, her response?...NOTHING.
I really AM fine, now, but this has been a wake-up call to me on several levels. "YES" to those who advised finding a better family. I'm working on that, but realize it is just as easy for nannies to be fooled by potential employers, as it is for employers to end up hiring someone who turns out not to be the person they thought they were hiring. Sometimes employers are really good at telling US what we want to hear too! I will certainly take less at face-value next time.
Thanks, again, for all the great responses!

Blessed Nanny said...

OP-sorry it took an injury to show you their true side. Good luck with your search.

jerseyxjacqui said...

6:15, that's a little harsh. I have worked for MANY families who considered me a part of their own...and I have worked for families who saw me simply as their employee. (I don't mean just nannying. I've been babysitting for some families for almost 10 years now)...I agree that there are people who probably aren't sincere when they say it, but I have a feeling there are just as many who DO mean it.

You're only treated the way you allow yourself to be.

Anonymous said...

6.15a.m.:

Let's see if those families still care much about you when you're not their nanny anymore!

They only care about 'you' so that you'll do your job properly. It's a case of them wanting to be good for you so that you'll be good to their child(ren). But no, they don't care about you AT ALL.

Once you get over that, you'll have an excellent employee-employer relationship. Don't expect more and don't give more.

Anonymous said...

It's called homeowner's insurance. The housekeeper who works with us slipped on black ice on the driveway and the employers who were in the kitchen getting coffee, readying to go- had a shared chuckle. They had to cover their mouths to stop from laughing. I told the housekeeper how funny they thought it was. They never asked her how she was. She is an older woman of about 55 who fell all the way down, true she got up quickly, but she was embarassed. I asked how she was. She said okay. I convinced her to go to Urgent Care which she did. Turns out she may have pulled a muscle. She got a doctor's note, a prescription. She was told to stay off her feet for a week. So then she calls and tells me that and I call my employer at work and tell him. He gets angry right away. I gave him the information and her family's phone number where she would be staying. Because get this- the live in nanny was a live in who had lived with this family for 2 years.
He did call her to ask her if there was any way she could be back on Friday for at least half a day because they were entertaining on Friday night and he wanted the place in tip top shape. The family that we worked for gave 2 weeks, three days time off per year. We could use it for sick time or vacation time. It was up to us, but no other time except specified holidays (5 I think) we paid. So the housekeeper had to use HER time to recoop from the fall. I told her to call an attorney. And she did. She came back and worked for another 3 weeks or so but she seemed to struggle with some of her tasks. At least, that is what I saw. Her struggling, slower to move. She had to quit soon after.
My employers were shocked to get served about a month later. The housekeeper sued for a number of things. I think the asking amount was about 125,000 dollars. And they had it to burn. I wish I would have stuck around to see how they made out through the trial. I was deposed but never called as a witness.

HOMEOWNER'S INSURANCE, baby.
Big houses have big policies. Go at it nannies and housekeepers of the free world.

Caroline said...

In July last year I had something similar happen. I arrived at 5:30am and slipped on the front steps as I went to the door - the house was still under construction and the family had moved in - there was mud on the steps which made them more slippery than I had expected.

The fall had me bleeding on my leg in about 3 different places and I was covered in mud. The mother opened the front door and said to me "if yougo through the garage you can shower downstairs (I kept clothing changes in the house). Two minutes later - I was in the shower downstairs and husband and wife left for work as usual. Not another word. I had worked for this family for a year and a half and was told so often how much they cared for me and how valued I was by their family. I realize that those were empty words and if I had even one vindictive bone in my body I could have sued successfully (them or their construction management company)

Not only do I still have scars on my ankle from this fall, it also aggravated a shoulder injury which then required surgery.

Their lack of concern made me realize how much I was not in fact valued and I resigned the following week.

Whatever the employers of the OP feel about potential for litigation, surely common courtesy and human decency would override their concerns?

Anonymous said...

You'd think.

Anonymous said...

OP,
"Sometimes employers are really good at telling US what we want to hear too! I will certainly take less at face-value next time."
You are so right. Don't you wish employers had to provide references from previous nannies?!

I have worked for some wonderful families, who did treat me as if they considered me family, and not to get more work out of me! There are warm genuine people out there who place a very high value on quality care for their children, and if you are a wonderful nanny, they will value you. I hope you can move on and find such a family. GL

Anonymous said...

4:12 PM
I'm curious to know if you are a nanny, or an employer?

§mpp§ said...

I thought it was a Nanny myself until I read the last paragraph.

cali mom said...

OP, I'm sorry you are having to deal w/this and I'm glad you made the hard realization abourt your employers. When you leave, I'd give no more than 2 weeks notice, and preferably at a time that will inconvenience them as much as possible. And if you need to, take that housekeeper's approach. It's THEIR property, even if you were not their employee, THEY are responsible for any financial costs resulting from your injuries. This would apply if you were theirand neighbor and their dog bit you. And get details of such a situation in writing from your next employer!

My former employer that I worked for until just after my baby was born, kind of turned out like that too. I had life threatening complications in my pregnancy and was in and out of the hospital starting at 5 months. For 3 years they had been wonderful but as soon as that happened they just treated it as though I was calling in sick every day saying I was too tired to come in or was having a lot of morning sickness or something. Long story short I came back briefly after my baby was born but it ended in a legal settlement (in my favor!)

emily said...

There's no reason to stop to their level as Cali Mom suggests. You're better than they are, correct? So conduct yourself professionally and be proud of who you are. Stand up for yourself and your need to have an employer who respects you, but don't go out of your way to hurt someone else. That is, unless you're no better than your boss.

We should all remember thatm in the long run, we get what we give. Or, at least, that is my humble opinon.

emily said...

Sorry, I meant "stoop".

Anonymous said...

One family I worked for tried to get me to sign a waiver that they were not responsible for any injuries I suffered on the job. Because I didn't agree with that and refused to sign it without my lawyer looking at it they fired me. I had been there about a year and there were no other issues.

Also,at the house I work at now. I slipped and fell backwards over the dishwasher door. I twisted my leg and tore the meniscus in my knee.
I was expected to go to the doctor on my day off and not to miss any time off work. The family did not offer to help pay my medical bills and made me pay for the dishwasher door repair by doing night babysitting for them for free!

I realize that although their little girls love me, the parents look at me only as an employee. That was hard for me.

emily said...

7:39, I think you've got things a little screwy. Employee isn't a bad word! If the family you work for "only thought of you as an employee" they would still respect and value the role you play in their lives. They would have given you adequate time to recover so that you'd be on your game and ready to take care of their kids again once you were better. I'm also sorry that you caved to their demands that you work off the cost of the dishwasher door, as that was an illegal request.

§mpp§ said...

Emily ... great post.
7:39
You should really find another Family that will value and appreciate the person you are. That was entirely wrong what they did to you.

just anonymous said...

Cali Mom-more details please!

dishwasher girl-that sucks.

My boss drives me crazy with the "employer/employee" line. One day she'll act like we're best friends, and then the next she gets snarky and says "I am your employer and you are the employee so please don't cross the line". CrAzY.

Anonymous said...

just anonymous,
I had nearly the same situation occur. I was working for a woman with twin boys. Somedays she was friendly, other days she was a shrill bitch. She was a SAHM, so she would sometimes be, and I kid you not hanging out in the same room while I tended to the twins or played with them. So we chatted. (The boys did not speak yet). Then suddenly, she would abruptly stand up and say, "I am your employer and you are the employee.. this is..." and she would walk away. As if I had done something horrible.

When I quit, I wrote her a scathing letter suggesting that she pick up a bottle and bond with her child. Her twin boys had bonded to me, not her. She was clueless. Just inept.

I feel terribly for those children who will grow up forming attachments to a series of nannies. I cannot imagine anyone of them could have stayed for longer than I did. (8 months).

Anonymous said...

Nannies: I wanted to ask for completely frank response about a point one of the earlier posters made. If you are in the hospital, would you honestly want your charges to come visit you? My nanny is scheduled for surgery in a few weeks and it never occurred to me that she might want the kids to visit. I planned to send flowers and call to see how she's feeling, but is there something else I should be doing? Would you welcome a visit from your charges when you are in the hospital?

atl nanny said...

10:05 -- you sound like a very kind employer. It's wonderful that you are so concerned about your nanny and I'm sure she will appreciate your call and flowers.

As for the kids visiting, I think it depends on a two main factors:

(a) The type of surgery. If I was having, say, minor surgery on my knee, I'd probably be bored during the the recovery time and happy to see the kids. If the surgery was internal, I might be too sore or in too much pain to deal with many visitors. And if the surgery was on my head/face, I might not want them to visit because it might be scary or I might be self-conscious.

(b) The age of the children. If they are four or older, they can make her a card and come visit for a brief period. A baby or toddler wouldn't be much comfort because they are likely to be restless making the visit stressful. The older the child, the more likely I think a visit would be appropriate (assuming the child wants to go and isn't scared/uncomfortable as a hospital).

If in doubt, ask. I'm sure your nanny will be pleased that you were thoughtful enough to ask if she wanted visitors, whether she does or not.

Anonymous said...

atl nanny
Excellent post!!

Anonymous said...

10:05--thank you for being an employer who puts some kind thought into what your nanny may need or want. You give me hope.

emily said...

!0:05: I think it's great that you're thinking about what your nanny would want, but I think you've overlooked the most obvious route to that info: ask her!

Everyone is different. I myself wouldn't necessarily mind a visit, but I wouldn't take the lack of one as a slight at all. I can imagine a more private person might find it a bit more than they would want to deal with in that situation.

The only way to know how your nanny feels is to speak directly to your nanny. I'd feel it was a very sweet thing for my employer to say, "Would you like me to bring the kids by while you're recovering?" and then I could give my honest answer.

Anonymous said...

This is 10:05. I'm asking here because I wanted the frank responses you get here (and honestly, it didn't occur to me until I read one of the earlier posts). My nanny is very, very sweet, but this is her first full time nanny job and she does not set limits, nor does she seem aware she should. She is so overly accomodating I worry that sometimes she says things that are not honestly what she wants, but what she thinks we want to hear. I would hate her to say she wants to see the kids if it will be too hard on her or she'd rather not. I am happy to bring them if it would cheer her up, but I don't want her to feel she needs to see them.

Anonymous said...

If she is going to be in for a few days, she may be bored and want visitors. She probably won't know ahead of time how she'll be feeling. I would wait, and phone to see how she is feeling, then ask if she feels up to a visit.
You are a nice employer!

emily said...

That sounds like the perfect idea, 8:47.

just anonymous said...

I'm a nanny I would personally love a visit from my charge.
After I had surgery in August my past boss brought my past charge (who is 4) to come visit me. We've stayed close since I left them. She had warned her son that I was sick and that they were coming to visit to tell me that they hope I feel better. He had made me a card and she brought flowers. It was really sweet. For most nannies, we have a bond with our charges, so they can bring a smile to our face when we're down.

Anonymous said...

I would hate for my charges to come visit me in the hospital, and we have an incredibly close bond. To be honest, I don't find it all that comforting when anyone, with the exception of my closest friends, sees me in such a vulnerable state.

Definitely don't bring the kids to visit without asking first, and since your nanny is the type to tell you what she thinks you want to hear instead of what she feels, try to read between the lines of her response. People can feel very uncomfortable while in the hospital and might not want anyone, let along small impressionable children, to see them that way.

Anonymous said...

Same with me, 9:48.
Although I do agree that it depends on what kind of surgery you're getting, most people do not look or feel their best while they're in the Hospital.
I know I didn't, and I requested everyone to wait until I settled back in at home to visit.

I think you should definately phone first, to see how she feels about it.

Anonymous said...

First time poster here. I am not a nanny,but have been a home daycare provider for the past 15 years. I have suffered from multiple sclerosis for the last 10 of those years,and was also dx with brain cancer last October that did require me to have extensive surgery. During an m.s. attack(symptoms would differ in length and seriousness),I would have some very sympathetic,understanding parents--and others who would treat my illness as nothing more than a common cold. I am extremely grateful right now,even with this latest setback. Not only did these parents(from 2 separate families)find alternative care for the 2 months I was home recouperating,they visited me at home with their children to lift my spirits,sent flowers,and one family adjusted their schedule to accomodate my monthly doctor visits,etc. that I need to undergo right now. I understand that I am probably deviating away from the main topic at hand,but wanted to say that there are definately families who will work with their sitter,if they truly appreciate her. Oh,and also--one family treats me more like a member of their family,the other respectfully keeps more of a distance(but,I still know that they value me highly as a caretaker for their daughter)....

Anonymous said...

How very nice for you!

Anonymous said...

I was half way down the stairs when I tripped and fell to the bottom, going unconscious for a second.
The mother insisted I go to the hospital and offered to drive!
I guess it all depends on how serious of a tumble it was.