Stop N Shop on River Street in Providence, RI

Received Thursday, February 7, 2008
Physical description of caregiver: Petite, bi racial (part Hispanic), wearing a white nylon jacket with hood up, tight jeans with no pockets and trendy looking tennis.
Physical description of involved child/children: Boy between 2.5-3.5, Anglo, reddish hair, orange corduroy pants, striped shirt, cammie jacket.
Address or venue of observed incident: Stop N Shop on West River Street in Providence -leaving the store with the cart and in the parking lot when this happened.
Date and time of incident: Weds. 2/7
Detailed description of what you witnessed: Nanny was pushing cart and talking on her cellphone. Boy was traveling about 15 feet behind her. Boy falls down. Boy starts to cry. Boy cries for nanny to stop. Boy is angry. He yells at the nanny and tells her 'you were supposed to be holding my hand'. Nanny looks around sneakily and says "I was holding your hand. I am holding your hand'. Nanny starts to hold the child's hand. The child shoos it away and continues crying. The nanny keeps saying over and over that she was holding his hand. Over and over.
Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: Nanny had big jug of tide in a purple bottle in front of cart and was talking on a cell phone that had a metallic cell phone case that reflected the light like a prism.

I'm just curious here, why couldn't the nanny say 'you're right I should have been. I'm sorry. Here let me see, are you okay'. Nannies spend so much time doing damage control over all of these wee neglectful things, how do parents ever know what is what or what happened?


Sarah said...
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op said...

This was in the parking lot.
JD, please edit this post to reflect that this happened after they left the store!

Anonymous said...

OP, even still, Sarah's post is dopey. We understand your point that the nanny is deceptive and this is a dishonest way of dealing with children. Crappy nanny.

nynanny said...

maybe the nanny was on the phone with one of the parents. when they heard their child crying and saying, "you were supposed to be holding my hand", the parents questioned the nanny as to whether she was holding his hand in the parking lot. in my opinion, you can never be too careful in parking lots! better safe than sorry!

§marypoppin'pills§ said...

Reread the post. This didn't happen INSIDE the Store, it happened in the Parking Lot OUTSIDE the Store.

And that is (wait, are you ready?) .... DANGEROUS!

And YES, the Nanny should've been holding his hand ... and that sweet little boy called her out on it!
Good for him!

Worthless Nanny. Trying to emotionally jerk that kid around.

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
§marypoppin'pills§ said...

O.k. Sarah ....

OP said:

"I'm just curious here, why couldn't the nanny say 'you're right I should have been. I'm sorry. Here let me see, are you okay'. Nannies spend so much time doing damage control over all of these wee neglectful things, how do parents ever know what is what or what happened?"

OMITTING last sentence:

"I'm just curious here, why couldn't the nanny say 'you're right I should have been. I'm sorry. Here let me see, are you okay'."

Is that better?

Anonymous said...

The nanny should have been holding the child's hand in the parking lot, regardless of how well behaved he was inside the store. Children that age ALWAYS need to be held by the hand in a parking lot.

"A 3 year old, while it is nice, doesn't need their hand held everywhere they go."
Sarah, based on your blanket statement, now we must assume that you don't hold your charges' hands while in public. Shame on you.

cali mom said...

2:15, agreed completely. A 2-3 year old DOES ALWAYS need their hand held in a parking lot. Inside a grocery store, maybe not, but in a parking lot? Ansolutely.

Sarah said...
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mom said...

I idea agree with your idea that natural consequences are often the best and most lasting way for a child to learn a good lesson...but NEVER in a parking lot, or any other life threatening situation. A skinned knee is one thing, but potential death is quite another. (I am assuming that OP wouldn't have written in if this had happened in a deserted wasteland of a parking lot, so we can assume this nanny was negligent in not holding the child's hand.)

I can assure you that no matter how tired, cranky or difficult any of my children (or I) may have ever been at any time, they did not set foot into a parking lot without holding my hand (if for no other reason than I wanted them to understand that it was an absolute 100% non-negotiable, no, no exceptions even for less crowded parking lots, ever.) If one had refused to hold onto my hand I would have firmly grasped a wrist and not let go. (I often held wrists, as my boys were "runners" as toddlers.)

There is no possible acceptable excuse for what OP witnessed. And additionally, it is very confusing for kids when they are taught to tell the truth, and then they are told by an adult in authority that they didn't experience what they know they just just experienced. That was just wrong of nanny to do to him.

If this nanny is some dunderhead who truly was trying to teach him a lesson in her misguided way, then the appropriate response would have been, "Are you alright? That is why I asked you to hold my hand. I didn't want you to get hurt. Now, let's try to follow the rules next time, OK?"

what the? said...

I hold my FIVE year olds hand when we are in parking lots, crossing ANY street and walking on the sidewalks of busy roads. All the while enforcing the idea that she needs to look for cars at intersections, driveways, parking lot entrances, etc. She is too tiny to see from a lot of cars today. Why would you EVER take a chance with a small child and cars? It doesn't make any sense.

blk said...

Sarah, I agree with you.

cali mom said...

This nonsense about "allowing them to establish independance" is no different than doing so by allowing them to ride in the front passenger seat of a car with no seatbelt, or allowing them to leave their carseat unbuckled. Anyone who can't recognize the obvious dangers of small children and moving cars has no business being in charge of ANY children, their own or someone else's.

§marypoppin'pills§ said...

My son was a runner, too. I have one scary story in particular:
We were in a grocery store. I pulled my wallet out to pay (every few seconds glancing at my son). And just that quick, he was out the door. I left all my stuff (including an open wallet with all my cash in full view) ... to chase after him. I got him just as he was about to go in the parking lot. I grabbed his hand and brought him back inside. The whole time I am telling him how dangerous that was, apologizing to the customers behind me that were waiting, and to the Cashier.
It was unbelievable! I almost freaked out, but we made it home and my son got a good talking to. (And has calmed down tremendously since, thank goodness).
And do you know ... not a dime was missing from my wallet?


Sarah has her mind set that what she's doing is o.k.
We are not going to change it.
I just hope nothing ever happens to the kids she is caring for.

Some people just don't 'get it'.
... And never will, until something tragic happens.

vi said...

blk & sarah
too bad YOUR parents didn't let you run around in parking lots full of cars when you were little!

do you know how dumb you sound sarah, when you said: "at a certain point, timeout doesn't always work, and a child needs to learn for themselves why there are rules and boundaries for them to follow."

Yeah. I guess a PARKING LOT is the best place to teach them!

Anonymous said...


Did you actually say that it was the KID'S fault for falling down? Because he wasn't behaving? HUH? This post made no mention of HIS bad behavior, but the nanny's for not minding his safety in a parking lot...and for portraying to whomever she was on the phone with that she was holding the child's hand.

If you think it's okay to let a child that young to walk alone in that situation, then I hope YOUR employer sees this, recognizes you, and does what is best. I wouldn't trust you with my child in a locked room.

Anonymous said...

OO, locked room? Good one!
If that doesn't get the point across, nothin' will.

chick said...

Sarah, at 6:01 you said:

"I don't know what kind of fake world you are all living in, but a 3 year old doesn't always want to sit in the cart or hold your hand, despite your best efforts."

Frankly, what my 3 yo charge does or doesn't want while we are in a crowded/dangerous area doesn't really matter to me. I'm the adult, and if I feel she needs to hold my hand or sit in the cart, that's what happens. She may be angry, she may sulk, but she knows that certain things are non-negotiable.

Heck, she doesn't like the fact that I tighten her carseat belt. Does that mean I should just shrug and say, oh well, she doesn't want to cooperate? I think NOT!

Anonymous said...

:golf clap:
Good post, chick.

Anonymous said...

I agree chick! My charge is going to be three next week, and he's going through a stage where running from me is a game and about the most hilarious thing he's ever done in his life. Lately he drops my hand and takes off as fast as he can for the street/parking lots etc and cries his little heart out when I catch up and take his hand back. With Sarah's theory I should just let him continue to run, and pray that he doesn't get hit by a truck, with my theory if he removes his hand he gets carried. He is now learning that it's better to walk holding my hand than to be carried "like a baby"-as he puts it. His life is not a lesson, he can learn about "independence" in a safe environment not from falling into on coming traffic!

Sarah said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
heidi said...

On every blog and every forum, there are trolls and bitches. I rather liked you and will miss you.

I find the internet is a good training ground for learning how to deal with assholes in real life. It has helped to toughen me up a bit.

Anonymous said...

Sarah left?
I have been jumped on dozens of times ... I'm still here.
Did she say she was leaving because of that?

Just come back with a new name later. I did.