Nanny Asked to Move with the Family...

Received Sunday, February 17, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Hi! I am a nanny working for a wonderful family who is moving. They have asked me to move with them (I'm not live in, nor will I be). They have always been very generous with me in regards to salary/time off/benefits so I'm not terribly worried about that. . .I am just curious to know if there are other nannies out there who have moved with their families and what I can/should expect and also perhaps anything that I should consider or bring up that they might not be aware of. Also, any helpful hints in helping a child adjust to a new place would be most welcome!! We are already finding it on the map/getting books about the new place/talking about our new friends that we'll make . . .but still, any ideas to make this a very positive experience would be great! Thank you!


vi said...

I think your off to a good start as far as adjusting the children to the move with books, maps and just talking about it to familiarize them with your plans.

Question is: How will YOU do?

Are you excited, scared? Are you looking forward to it, or is it leaving a feeling of doom and gloom?
If you are sure this is what you want and are looking forward to something exciting and new, then you will probably settle in very well.

You don't say how long you've been with this family, but that is very important here. If you've been with them at least a year or more and trust them completely, then they will most likely hold up their end of whatever deal they draw up with you.

You should definately expect quite a bit of chaos right before, during and after the move ... and it's always so much more difficult when you have children.

You don't say how far from home your moving, but will they make allowances for frequent trips home to see your family? (at least 2-3 times a year).

If you feel ready to do this, and are prepared for some extra hard work getting the kids acclimated, then I am sure you will be just fine!

Good luck!

Anonymous said...

In addition to what the first poster said...

If you have to break lease on your apt to move with them, they need to pay any fees associated with that.

Is the cost of living higher where they are moving to? If a new (comparable) apartment in the new town, near their home costs more they need to give you a raise to make up the difference.

They should also give you a raise and/or big bonus for moving with them to begin with!

Do you have lots of friends/family where you live now? Do you know anyone in the new town? It may be hard to meet people of you work long nanny hours.

They should pay to have movers come in and take all your stuff as well.

heidi said...

Having the same nanny for their child, while they relocate and get adjusted to new people, neighborhood, schools and work?

They should negotiate you out of your lease and provide you a BIG BONUS for the move. Not too mention, I would buy my nanny a gym membership or pay for her to take an evening or weekend class or join a sports league- if that was her thing. This is a huge thing for the family to have you. I hope they reward you accordingly.

Anonymous said...

Unless you're moving someplace you want to be, apart from the job, I'd be concerned about what happens if, for some reason, your employment ends. (A parent decides to stay home, there's another pregnancy, the move stresses everyone out too much, and things are different, the family decides they want other arrangements.)

I think I'd want something in the contract that says that if they let you go before XX time (a year, two, whatever), they pay your relocation expenses up to a certain amount.

Anonymous said...

Excellent ideas/comments!

Upstate Mom said...

A contract and their paying all your moving expenses seems a must. Also, you are not responsible for helping them move/unpack.....they help you. You only work as the nanny. Good luck. Let us know your decision.

Anonymous said...

This is the original OP. Thanks for all the good suggestions!! Esp. the contract idea/breaking lease (which thankfully, I won't have to do) I have been with the same family for going on three years; we have yet to sit down and talk about increased salary, etc., They have assured me that we will (sit down and discuss); they are well aware of how much more the cost of living is, etc. I think I just really wanted to know if it was reasonable to assume that they would be covering my moving costs (again, we've yet to sit down and hash out the details), It is somewhere I want to go! I'm very excited (for a couple good reasons!!!) and would give more details, but it's important to maintain privacy here ! :P

Anonymous said...

When I hired my nanny last fall, I interviewed a wonderful candidate who used to work in the neighborhood, but had relocated with her family to the midwest from NY for the mother's job only to dismissed after the husband could not find work as easily as they thought and ended up staying home with the children. You should be careful. Are both parents already set up with new jobs in the new location? Make sure you negotiate beforehand a contingency plan should they find they don't need your services once they relocate. This could be a great opportunity, and you are obviously an asset to the family, but you want to make sure you are protected in this time of transition.
As a parent who has done a relocation, one on the best things we did was to take the kids shopping for a "moving bag". A special bag they picked where they could put the things most important to them so they will have them when we get there.

Anonymous said...

I'm glad this is a move you are excited about. If you were going only for them, I would be concerned, but it seems like you have other reasons for wanting to move, so it should be good for you.

They absolutely need to pay all costs associated with your moving. Luckily you don't have to break your lease, but you will need movers, etc. And in your new home you'll need to pay all the connection fees that come with a new home. They should give you enough money to pay for all these things plus a few paid days off when you are first in town to get settled -- to get unpacked, get the utilities turned on, etc.

On top of that, you absolutely should get a cost of living adjustment. And, they really ought to give you a raise or bonus, because you providing them with a great service by being willing to move with them. This will be wonderful for the children, who will have so many other things to adjust to and for the parents, because if you didn't come, they would have to go through a new nanny search and pay large fees to agency.

Anonymous said...

I think that people made excellent points when they brought out the possibility that your employment could end. You should really iron out this detail with your employers now. What if you need to quit for some reason? What if they need to let you go for whatever reason? This should be hashed out. The future is unpredictable. One can never know what could happen. It would be unpleasant for you to find yourself in a new place with no employment. Good luck. Let us know how you work it out.

Anonymous said...

Make sure you have your own bed. And not have to share with the baby or parents.

Anonymous said...

Nanny said she was not a live-in. She's going to have her own place.

Anonymous said...

I know I was just kidding

Elizabeth said...

You don't say how old the child is, so that makes it a bit harder to say what would help him/her adjust best. If you can obtain pictures of his/her new house, bedroom, school, etc. that is always fun!

Also, perhaps plan fun things to do for when you get there-- maybe you'll explore the new zoo, or check out a nearby park, for example.

Good luck, I hope it goes well!