Update:
Sunday, March 2, 2008 5:39:49 P.M.
A recent post on your blog has been written about me and one of my charges. The post (Jungle Java in Ann Arbor, MI) makes ridiculous false statements. My lawyer began looking into this today. There will most likely be a libel suit against this woman. I'd like to see the post removed, if possible. I have read and understood the disclaimer you have on your blog.
Thank you.
Received Friday, February 29, 2008
On Wednesday morning, February 13, my son and I went to Jungle Java, an indoor playground on Jackson Ave. in Ann Arbor, MI.
We saw a very blond toddler named Gigi; she is 23 months old. She was with her nanny. I believe the nanny's name is Candace, or Candice, but I'm not certain. Her last name begans with an S- again, I'm not sure, because I got this information off of Jungle Java's sign-in sheet. The nanny is not very tall, and is extremely heavy. I think she was wearing glasses, but I don't remember. She appeared to be 20-25 years old.
I chatted with the nanny briefly in a friendly way, so I could gather some information (and confirm that she is the nanny, and not the mother.)
The nanny was completely ignoring Gigi. In fact, she was sitting in the coffee area doing homework. She rarely looked up from her book. There were many times that Gigi was nowhere in sight. The nanny had no idea whether Gigi was climbing in the play area, in the snack area, in the party rooms, or if she'd been snatched by a stranger. Jungle Java is a large indoor playground and the play structures are pretty advanced. A child Gigi's age could be injured easily on the play structure and NEEDS supervision when climbing on this type of structure. Finally, the nanny was not interacting with Gigi in any way. She was not nurturing, loving, or attentive. She rarely looked at or talked to Gigi; indeed, she wasn't even anywhere near Gigi most of the time, and she rarely looked up from her book.
From the sign-in sheet, I saw that Gigi and her nanny had been at Jungle Java for approximately 2.5 hours already. (From about 9:30 until about noon.)
After my friendly chat with the nanny, I asked her if Gigi's parents know that she completely ignores Gigi and does her homework while letting Gigi wander, completely unsupervised. The nanny said, "yes," that this was their "down time" (2.5 hours of "down time"!), and gave me a short speech about "different parenting styles." I told her that I would fire her on the spot if she were my nanny.
I hope that Gigi's parents will find out about this. I have been so sad and upset about what I saw. My husband, our nanny, and I are keeping our eyes open, in hopes that we'll run into Gigi and her parents around town somewhere.
46 comments:
OP, while you were gathering all this info where were YOUR kids?
I think you sound like a devious See U Next Tuesday! How do you know she is not keeping and eye on her charge? I can watch my own kids quite well from a distance, and an indoor playground is not a place where my kids need me to interact with them, that's why I take them there, to have some down time while they enjoy themsleves and the other children in a safe, controlled environment. ANd if you turned on me the way you did her after appearing friendly I would have told you where to go, how to get there, and what to do once there! Some parents, including me, tell our caregivers to let our kids have some freedom in places where they are safe and secure. I understand you must keep your eye on kids no matter where you are, but people can do that and read magazines, talk, do homework, etc. I see other parents do it all the time!
Things in Ann Arbor must be by comparison quite serene. I was up in Westchester County Wednesday and I found myself witnessing two grown women who nearly came to blows. The first woman had exited Strauss's papergoods and commented on the second woman's parking job. It was truly, a fright. The woman who was exiting the store was screeching at the woman inside the car that she wasn't that tough since she was still in her car. The next thing I know, the second woman is out of her car, bounds to the sidewalk and says, "I'm out of my car now, what do you want to do. I'm stepping to you".
These women were normally dressed women. The black woman was neatly attired and the white woman was attired in casual mom wear. I was quite honestly, shaken by this sighting. And I certainly can't imagine approaching a strange woman and critiquing her parenting style. One would think this would be even more personal than one's parking skills!
Sentence should read:
The black woman was neatly attired in career wear.
Post is very interesting. Thanks.
3:00
Since you are criticizing OP,
I take it to mean YOU are incapable of multi-tasking when around children.
How moronic and hypocritical is this statement:
"OP, while you were gathering all this info where were YOUR kids?"
... why do you care? ... you obviously IGNORE yours while enjoying your "down time".
Why wouldn't OP be competent enough to have a conversation with the nanny, and still know where her kids were? You said so yourself:
"I understand you must keep your eye on kids no matter where you are, but people can do that and read magazines, talk, do homework, etc."
Idiot.
You sound like a witch, I know people like you and cannot believe that people like you feel the need to tell others that they are not doing what they feel is expected of them. I would be very offended if someone told me that I needed to keep a better eye on my kids. Just blame it on the mentality of those AA people - the OP probably went to U of M.
GO SPARTANS!!!!!!!
6:09, it's very immature to resort to name calling.
OP, I am not sure what to say about this post. There's not much interacting you can do with a kid who's 2 stories or higher up in those play tubes! I would bet the nanny likely knew where the child was most of the time, although to an onlooker it might just seem different.
I can't believe people are defending this negligence! The only explanation I can think of is that there are some very lazy moms and nannies responding, who share this "parenting style". You may be able to keep an eye on older kids while browsing People Magazine, but reading a serious book, or doing demanding homework and rarely looking up.......no. The child was 23 mo, and out of the nanny's sight, possibly wandering into a different room, and in a public place!
I have seen some serious accidents when children were not being spotted on climbing equipment, or attempted something they were too small for.
Helicopter Nanny
I agree 8:32. It can hardly be called "parenting" style when it means that the parent is completely unaware of where their baby is (23 months...hello? That's not even 2!) or what they are doing. That's just being an irresponsible lazy a** who invites disaster.
Parents who do this are horrible, and someone who is being paid to NOT do this is even worse IMO. How is this different than dropping a 23 month old off at a public place and then going off alone to do your grocery shopping or whatever??
From OP's post, the child was not just playing safely 10 feet away from nanny who was browsing a magazine while keeping an eye on her. This is inexcusable.
Unfortunately this "parenting" style is quite popular at certain indoor playplaces, and children often get hurt. For those defending the nanny in question, keep in mind the child's age. It is fine for a nanny or mom to sit and read while her 4+-yo kid plays in the playplace. A 23-mo still requires closer supervision than that. This has nothing to do with helicopter parenting.
When I used to take my daughter to indoor playplaces when she was that age, she often came close to getting hurt by older kids who were not looking out for a little one. I also rescued many younger kids whose parents or nannies were elsewhere. It sucks that people rely on the kindness of strangers to take care of the children in their care and then call that "down time".
you ppl seriously need to get a life! for all you nannies reporting other nannies, where the hell are your kids while you spying? and for you mothers spying on other nannies, you have way too much time on your hands! use some of your husbands money. open a business or something! do you people know how exhausting takin care or kids is? nannies need to sit down too! it's nannies like you who give us other nannies a bad name. sucking up to parents! doing over the top duties that you wouldnt even do for your own kid! give me a break!
You guys are right, somehow I missed the child's age. A child that young can't be left unsupervised.
OK, and 10:54 obviously IS either "SHE" or has 3 brain cells and can't seem to ever get paid more than $4/hr.
Oh Helaine, You were in Port Chester. What were you expecting?
I cannot help but assess the abilities of other's as I go about my way, but I am loathe to accost someone. One of the last places I would chose to accost someone is in Port Chester.
Michigan would be safer to accost someone, but I don't know that I would. Especially an overweight nanny.
OP, ignore these other ignorant people that think its ok to leave your not even 2 yr child out of your sight because they are too lazy to get off there fat asses to interact with their kids- or to actually be a loving parent.Gosh imagine that.
If you employ the type of nanny that needs down time when she has but 1 child in her care then something is wrong there!
I think it's great that you called that overweight lazy thing out. And no he most surely wasnt going to a place like UM. More like washtenaw county community college.
AA is awesome! what a friendly town
I actually live and used to nanny in AA. It is actually an amazing place to be, one of the reasons is because people tend to look out for each other. I used to take my three year old charge to jungle java, and I would NEVER have let him go off on his own. This place is always extremely busy, especially with winter breaks occurring around this time in the area, and the older kids can get quite rowdy, as they will, when climbing and playing. The play places go up at least 15 feet, and are easy to fall in or get hurt in, if you don't have the skills required to handle an advanced play area, as a 23 mo old wouldn't. I used to go with my charge into the play place, following at a reasonable distance to let him "do it himself" but also give him a hand when he needed it, as he often did. Maybe people should re-think hiring someone who is not fit enough to care for their energetic toddler in EVERY situation. This is inexcusable.
Thank you, 8:28!
10:54
Yes, caring for children is exhausting, and to do it well requires a lot of physical energy. Some people don't have what it takes. If you don't enjoy running around the playground and being active all day, find a different line of work. Maybe sitting on your duff answering phones would suit you.
How ridiculous. No one just walks around making false claims. Her interest in this childs neglect made her find out all this information because she cared. How are you going to file charges if you don't know this woman and what does your "charges" mother say? Are you fired?
OP is the nanny crying wolf? any update for us?
You can't file any type of suit. Just do your job and do your homework on your own time. Good Lord. You're just mad you got caught.
Gigi's nanny, you give AA nannies a bad rep. Do your homework while the kid is sleeping. Or even better, off the clock.
"Your lawyer?" Do you have one on retainer? My but your employer must pay well.
Too bad you screwed up your cush job by taking horribly irresponsible care of the small child you were being PAID to keep safe. Thank goodness nothing happened to her and that her parents will be finding out about this hopefully in time to save her from further danger. (If the parents really did agree that you can do homework and not watch the child during this time, relax, this news is going to be NO surprise to them, so you have nothing to worry about.)
You cannot win a libel suit unless
1) You can prove the statements made about you were false and that the person who wrote them had reason to believe they were false
AND
2) You can prove you were damaged by false claims. This means you need to lose your job or have your pay reduced. Catch 22: If your employer investigates this claim and finds that you have been a negligent caregiver at this establishment (which could be easy if you go there often and do your homework while the little girl runs amok unsupervised, unbeknownst to the parents and without their prior approval, it will only serve to damage your libel claim against OP.
I'm in the middle of a tumultuous divorce and something extremely urgent has to come up for me to telephone my divorce attorney on a Sunday and I pay top dollar. How wonderful to know a nanny has an attorney at her beck and call.
that's what i was thinking. a lawyer on a weekend?
It could be a family member of hers thats a lawyer. Or a family friend.
If it is then he's really annoyed with her now. Professionals in the service industry hate being taken advantage of on the weekend, or for free services, especially when it's something really ridiculous and turns out to be the fault of the person threatening the lawsuit. My lawyer friend was once awakened by a call from a hysterical friend who wanted to sue his apartment complex because they insisted his baby wear diapers in the common pool. My friend said this, "Eeeew! Gross! Just put a diaper on your baby!" I'm sure that deflated his "lawsuit" in a big hurry!
I bet JD's Lawyer is better than your Lawyer! lol
I am a fellow nanny, and I can tell you that this nanny is nothing short of professional in every way, shape & form. This site is nothing short of degrading and you should all be ashamed of yourselves!
I take my children to Jungle Java all the time, and always know where my kids are! I am sorry that she is being treated this way, and hope that whoever this woman is accountable for her rudeness, sneaky, and obviously UNTRUE statements posted on here about this nanny.
Websites like this exist to exploit people in my eyes, and while you may think you help, you DON'T. This website makes nannies all look bad, and I for one am an excellent nanny!!!
Sure, ok. That proves everything.
Pardon me while I call Prince Phillip and tell him his tea is ready. And Charles and Camilla should have been here 10 minutes ago, I must find out what's keeping them.
Cali mom!
You told me I couldn't come over today because you were sick! Now I find out you have invited Charles and Camilla and snubbed me altogether. And this is the second time! How dare you! From now on you can expect your royal wave will include one prominently displayed finger!
Your former best friend, Queen Elizabeth
2:46PM
I'm guessing if you were there on that day, and saw that the nanny was not sitting doing homework, but giving her full attention to her charge, you would have said so.
Maybe she does a good job when you are watching. Maybe you are in fact she?
11:28
I'll bet you a bagel it is!! lol
To the nanny who threatened to sue over her exposure here (and subsequently posted a bunch of fake "anonymous" comments praising her own nanny skills),
So what did your employer have to say when she got on here and read about how you have been treating her child? (Certainly your "lawsuit" must have alerted her to this blog by now.) Was she OK with the neglect, or, as you claimed, was it something you had agreed upon together beforehand, that you could take her toddler out in public and not bother to even look up at her occasionally to see that she was still there?
I am the mom who made the original posting.
To answer a few questions that were raised:
(1) While I chatted with the nanny, my 18-month-old son was IN MY ARMS!
(2) I watched the nanny while my son and I were in the toddler play structure. There are "port-holes" in the toddler play structure that he likes to look through and watch people. We watched this nanny for a long time. She NEVER EVEN LOOKED UP FROM HER BOOK.
(3) I absolutely agree that nannies need a break. I always hope that our nanny has at least 1 hour to herself during our son's nap.
(4) A nanny should not be taking "down time" when her 23-month-old charge is climbing in a 15-foot play structure. Duh.
Jungle Java has surveillance cameras. If Gigi's parents wish to investigate this claim, they can probably see the video recorded from the surveillance camera. At the very least, JJ's sign-in sheet will confirm that Gigi and her nanny were there for at least 2.5 hours.
OP
You don't owe anybody an explanation, you're fine.
You made a good post.
i have to know... has anything hapened with the law suit?
OP here. No news on a law suit. Was it just an idle threat? Or a bogus post? I wonder if The Bad Nanny got caught. I'm still keeping my eyes open around town for Gigi and family.
I think this woman is bored with her life and children. I'm sorry I call them paid whores. They get nanny's to watch their children so they can drink hang out at the country club and have bad marriages. I know I lived it.So since this woman is so nosy and violating and a busy body and can find anyone name she feels like on the list. Which is not the purpose of the sign in list. She may want to hire herself to follow her husband and let everyone know what the find out. I find people like yourself are shallow stuffy think you own the world and probably have bully children at our schools. Why weren't you there to save the domestically violating woman and child my son was innocently murdered helping. The man that was rob 83 years old SUPER WOMAN since apparently you think you are above the law of humanism, law and order if it bothered you that bad and you had any type of college education or life you would of called CPS nit.
Find something better to do with your time like watch your own children and interact with them. I have 7 and we work as a team as far as a Nanny hell no! I do it ALL , ALL, i KNOW ALL OF MY CHILDREN I WORK AROUND MY CHILDREN SCHEDULES EVEN IF IT MEANS GETTING UP AT 4 AM I KEEP GOING AND WE WORK TOGETHER WITH THE UPPERMOST RESPECT AND I MULTI TASK AT 47 YEARS OLD. BY THE WAY DID I TELL YOU I ALSO HAVE A SEVERE SPINE INJURY. BREAST CANCER. CHILDREN ARE A REFLECTION OF US THEIR PARENTS NOT A PAID NANNY. PS THEY ALSO BELONG TO GOD
SO GOD BLESS YOU SUPER UN MOM SUPER SHALLOW, SUPER CONTROLLER SUPER BUSY BODY WHENS THE LAST TIME YOU HAD A SUPER TALK WITH YOUR KIDS OR IS THAT YOUR NAN'S JOB TO SPY ON THEM ASK YOUR KIDS WHAT THEY THINK OF YOU AND YOUR HUSBAND AS PARENTS?OH PARDON THE ERRORS I AM MULTITASKING AS WE SPEAKING I AM COOKING DINNER FOLDING CLOTHES AND LOOKING UP TIMES TO GO TO JUNGLE JAVA RAN ACROSS THIS PILFERING PATHETIC POST.I DON'T THINK YOU DESERVE PROOF READING AT THIS TIME
GOOD DAY LAZY
Apparently some people have not been to Jungle Jave there are 2 area's that for the under 3 and then an area for the older children.
2 there are surveillance camera's. Apparently she was all aware of this and has been there before. What I find to be appalling is the parents that don't watch their own children and hire nanny's because they can't multitask their is also a lock at the door and the staff seems competent. You see we had wonderful places like this when my children were younger Kids Kingdom,Jump.Comments like these take the fun out of everything and if you would of said something like that to me I propbably would of remained silent also. How do I know you are not postpartum or a ballistic hateful person of harm. As you can see there are staff paying close attention as well as camera's I was there the other day with my younger children they wanted to stay longer and my back hurt so I informed them of my switching locations after lunch which was wonderful.I finally was able to relax from the noise and there was another disabled woman with an injury and my daughter reached out to this little girl to come and play. You it is about people working together to help one another not hatred and annoying busy body behavior. Maybe you need consoling or self respect or anger management how do you know what was really going on when you were confrontational with this nanny and your behavior which was unacceptable. You say nothing about getting the owner or management involved instead you took matters into your own hands.Who are you to abuse power of authority and acts of kindness such as you did do not need to be recognized by all. I would hate to be your husband or nanny!
You need to be put in the NANNY TIMEOUT CHAIR
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