Received Saturday, February 2, 2008
I think this might have been a nanny but I am not altogether certain. I took a picture with my cell but don't know how to get it to you or off my cell altogether. Here is what happened. I was in NYC today, having taken the train in. As I was getting off the train and walking up to GC, I passed this angry looking Asian woman dragging behind her a boy of about 5 or 6. He was saying, 'stop hurting my arm, stop hurting my arm'. And she said something like, "well I am not carrying you". He was wearing a ski jacket that had several shades of grey in it, but you could clearly so her tight grip through to his arm. The boy defiantly stopped still and she said, "move your ass" and the boy said something about his dad being mad. I don't know if it was about what she had just said, what she had just done or something previous. At this point, the woman reached down with one hand and pinched his face really hard. She used a knuckle, not her nails; which were long and red. The boy said, "and stop doing that, too" and the woman said, "Get walking". I don't know what train they were getting on. It was the one in the opposite berth as my own. The boy had the jacket, curly blondish hair, a pinkish complexion (maybe from being so upset?). The woman was wearing a red ski jacket with diamond shaped quilts, tight jeans, pointy shoes and was carrying a black bag with gold accents and a gold chain on it. They were heading to the train at about 4:50 PM today. (Sat, 2/2). And for your information, it defitely was something as I wasn't the only person staring.
21 comments:
So sad nobody stepped in to thump this wretched nanny. Hopefully the little boy will tell on her.
Yesterday, at Trader Joe's in Egewater, NJ, I saw a mom, dad and their young girls shopping. The mom and dad were each screaming at the kids for misbehaving. Although what they were doing wrong is beyond me since I only ever heard the parents loud mouths. At one point, the 6 ft, 3 inch (approx) 350 pound (Approx) father whom the girls called Pop said "If you don't knock it off I will step on your head and crush it" to which the mother responded "Go Ahead" They were both kissing and cooing over the young boy about 2 in the cart but the poor little girls about 4 and 6 were constantly screamed at. I guess they just wanted a boy. They also threatened to throw the girls jackets away and let them freeze and to not give them any food for the rest of the day. The poor little things were miserable. A crowd of us were staring and commenting, some quite loudly enough for them to hear but they ignored us all. Finally, the father told the oldest girl he was going to break her arm. At which point I stepped up to him and told him if he said another nasty thing I was going to insert my foot in a place on his body where it would need surgical extraction (I was not that diplomatic when I spoke to him) A gentleman that looked to be a personal trainer or body builder offered to assist. Several of us got riled up and went after him and the mother verbally. We followed them outside, got their plate number and vehicle description and then we all placed calls to the DYFS hotline. I hope they nail their asses!
Good for you!! The more people that call the better. Hopefully, they will look into it.
Awesome!
I might've worried that they would've taken it out on them when they got home, but if enough people were there to call and complain, hopefully it will be investigated and those little girls will be "extracted" from those horrible Parents.
Good work!
What sickening pieces of dung those "parents" are. I'm so glad you got the necessary info and that so many people called. This is horrible and unacceptable and those little girls need help. Is there any way you can learn more about the outcome?
you do know that some parents exagerate right? looks like someone doesnt have kids? well i dont either but looks like you havent been around kids all your life.
9:55
Who is your comment directed to?
OP? Supernannynnj?
Either way, what does their exposure to childrn have to do with them posting something they see as wrong?
You sound like an idiot.
I think this means that because 9:55 has spent time with children, it ought to logically follow that a 4 year old and a 6 year old find it perfectly acceptable and perhaps even amusing to be told by their father that he will crush their heads and break their arms if they don't obey him.
Sounds about right to me, cali mom.
smh, yeah right! i'm sure the dad said all those crude comments/threats to his daughters with a loving smile on his face. get a clue 9:55. are you that dense? i've never personally slammed anyone on this site, but you hit a nerve. for your information when my mom said she was going to bash my head into the fridge door, unfortunately for me, she meant it. no idle threats there, my dear.
great job posting as much info as you can!
supernannynnj, i cannot applaude you enough for stepping in. and imagine, of all places, tader joe's!? smh, smh. i've never seen anyone act so rude in any of the t.j.'s that i've been to.
* i meant to write "OP, great job posting as much info as you can!
While trying to insult OP:
"looks like someone doesnt have kids? well i dont either but looks like you havent been around kids all your life."
9:55 PM
Isn't this called an Oxymoron?
... with the emphasis on MORON.
I watched carefully, when I heard his first comment to see if there was any hint of kidding around there was none. As a parent myself, I never would make a call to DYFS lightly, but I have made them in the past when I think a child is in trouble. We watched and yes, followed them a bit to see what was going on and several others did as well. It was in the bread section that the group of us had gathered, watching him pick out prepared meats and yell at his kids for NOTHING! Everyone was shocked that witnessed them. The TJ's in Edgewater is small BTW so you could pretty much hear his big mouth through out the store.
I, too, choose TJ's to shop at because I love the quality, service and usually the clientele is is of high caliber.
I am sorry but unless I was literally beating the crap out of a child, do not step in and tell me what you think. The parents were not doing anything wrong. I think some where people got soft and stupid. Where the hell did all of you people come from? I will honestly never come back here because of the ignorance and stupidity of most of the "concerned parents" and "super moms" and "super nannies" . They might have been really mis behaving. I have to stick up for some of the parents that you people write about. This is a different age and for some reason you guys are drug around by your kids.
ninefourteen: Perhaps you should reread 12:27's post.
The father said he was going to step on the girl's head and crush it, and the mother told him to go ahead.
And you say they weren't doing anything wrong? Does the father actually have to act on it for you to consider this abuse? The parents also threatened to let the children freeze and starve; Is there nothing wrong with that either?
Even if the children were misbehaving, the parents reacted in a grossly inappropriate way. A loving parent may threaten with loss or privileges or toys, but never to crush their child's head. These parents are terrorizing their children right out in the open, I can't begin to imagine what these children must suffer behind closed doors.
Thank you, 12:27 for being brave enough to stand up for these poor girls. Who knows how much damage has already been done by this terroristic brute, but at least now maybe it will stop.
Nine-fourteen and 9:55-Apparently neither of you knows what it's like to be a child in that situation. I do, and it's called emotional/psychological abuse. It might not be physical, and it's just as powerful, because it damages your self-esteem and self image, which is who you are. Emotionally abused children often grow up feeling and expect not to be liked. They are generally the the smartest, brightest, and sweetest children around, only they feel sad all the time, due to the fact how they are treated by their caregivers or parents.
I WAS ONE OF THOSE CHILDREN. Am I yelling? Yes. Want to know why? Because you think that there was no harm done in what the parents did to these children, and I am going to tell you, yes, there is. My father constantly called me beautiful and stupid, pretty and dumb. He would pass me off to my older sister, who would care for me over the summer, after my grandma and great aunt passed away. The only person I ever had cheer for me were my grandmother and my sister. They tried to stand up to my dad, who ALWAYS got his way. I was a puppet in a tung of war for years beteween my grandma and father. My grandman didn't like the way I was being treated, and my father didn't listen. When I turned 16, I ran away from home due to the death of my grandma. I was alone, and had nobody. My dad pulled me out of public school, took away the phone, so I couldn't make or recieve phone calls, and threw me up against the wall for wanting to go somewhere unsupervised. I recall getting a bump on the back of my head or something, and cried for my mother and grandmother. A few months later, he dropped me off the on the doorstep of some strange woman and her husband, left me there, and picked me up 2 weeks later. I lived there for 4 years, and was homeschooled. When I turned 18, he tried having me put in SSI, because of my epilepsy. I got my first job when I turned 18 or 19, and he took my money, only giving me $10 per week and yelling at me when I didn't have any of it left. When I turned 20, I walked out of his house, with only a box of my belongings, barely any clothes, a high school diploma, no job skills, and broke. That was 15 years ago. Today, at 35, I have a driver's license, a job, have held down jobs and gone to school, a B average, can do pre Algebra, and am working on opening my agency and a daycare. I don't really talk to my dad anymore and it's because of what he did to me. Looking back on it, he was overprotective of me due to my mother's death, yet the rest of the bs he put me through shouldn't have happened. He has 4 kids, (I'm the baby) and out of the 4 of us, only 1 of us talks to him and only 1 of us is his favorite-my older brother. Perhaps both of YOU should take some classed on child development and self esteem, since you don't seem to think that what the parents did in 12:27's post were wrong.
12:27-Thank you for standing up for these children!
MissDee
Very poignant post.
I'm sure alot of us have the same kind of skeletons in our closet as you have.
I'm so glad you made it through.
Good for you!
Ninefourteen
I can't believe you actually think that what the Father did was not emotionally abusive. I'm also surprised to hear that you want to take off because of it.
Please tell me ... exactly where is the line these Parents must cross, without hitting their child, that meets your standard of abuse?
miss dee, you don't know how it breaks my heart to read your post. yet it is pleasing to know that your surpassed all your deterents and are very very successful in life. what i went through because of my own mother still haunts me, even more so now that i am a mother, too. i try desperately not to be like her. it's almost a daily struggle. you know, it's not just the physical abuse, but also the emotional and psychological abuse, as you mentioned, that lingers. i've gotten over my many skin deep scars, but the words still pierce me through and through. when i was pregnant with my little guy, i had nightmares. they were always of my mom. perhaps it was my subconscience reminding me to be a better mom to my little guy than she was to me. it's not easy, but it's a challenge i face with the conviction that she is no longer in my (she chose it that way and disowned me) telling what to do and how to be. i am free to be me.
mpp, oh how those skeletons come back to haunt us sometimes. actually, now i see them in a different light. i think they a there as a mere reminder of the ugly truth. and if we are wise to learn from the past, then we shall not be doomed to repeat them. i'm still learning.
NO IDLE THREATS!!!!
Last I remember of 914, she was lamenting the lack of gangsta rap being played nowadays and making racist comments. If she and 9:55 are 2 different people, I am at a loss for words as to HOW any person could think that this "parenting" behavior is totally OK. I can only shudder and imagine what 914 and 955's parents must have done to them for them to think this way.
When we look back at ourselves as children and realize that we were wronged by our parents, without allowing that nasty baggage to impede our goals in life or our quest for happiness, that's a good thing indeed, a very good thing. These are true survivors and have my greatest admiration.
Ninefourteen, I am not a softee. I am well known for being a strict disciplinarian both as a nanny and a mom. Discipline, however, needs to be tempered with love or it's not effective.
I did not make my call lightly or quickly. I observed the parents abusive behavior for a good half-hour, perhaps more. The children were quiet, close to their parents and doing nothing wrong that any of us could see. If the kids were behaving so badly as to illicit such an angry response, then don't you think the poor behavior would have been visable? At best, that father needs anger management therapy and the mom is an enabler. Pleasew don't think I I am some bleeding heart that doesn't understand kids can get on your last nerve sometimes, but the type of body language exhibited by the father, his tone AND his words all indicated a need for strong action. I know something about abusers too, my husband's father was one to my husband and sister-in-law. At 40+ years old, they still bear emotional scars long since the physical ones healed.
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