Missing Toddler Recovered Unharmed
The nanny, described by police as a Gilbert runaway and a suspected drug user, was taken after her detention to Sun Health Del E. Webb Hospital in Sun City West complaining of stomach problems. Police declined to discuss where the boy and the nanny were for the 24 hours they were missing, or whether the nanny would be charged with a crime. Rody said the troubled teenager has a spotty past and was reported missing by her mother in December.
Click here for afternoon updates to this story.
Thursday
It wasn't a "Bad Nanny", but a "Bad Mommy"
Received Thursday, February 28, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I need suggestions. Someone reported a "bad nanny" that turned out to be a "bad mommy" I am writing in response to the nanny reported in Golden, Colorado. Someone forwarded me the post because they know the mom and know I am well acquainted with the mom. She adopted a child and is about to give birth to a child. The person who posted was right on with how this woman treats her kid- very harsh mean, unloving and cold. I would love some guidance on how to help this situation. I have prayed about it for a year and just am beside myself. The mom does treat the kid like an object and is very self centered. I do not know how to help the mom? What can I do to provide support? What makes it hard is she is very quick to judge and mistreat everyone around her? We are not good enough friends where ending the relationship would be noticeable, but I really worry about her daughter. The mom degrades the little tot and says horrible things about her husband, family and friends in front of the tot. I know even trying to help is playing with fire (I think the mom might be borderline personality). Should I contact the grandparents? Contact the adoption agency (she adopted through to see if the do post placement support?) The daughter's spirit is being broken every day.
I need suggestions. Someone reported a "bad nanny" that turned out to be a "bad mommy" I am writing in response to the nanny reported in Golden, Colorado. Someone forwarded me the post because they know the mom and know I am well acquainted with the mom. She adopted a child and is about to give birth to a child. The person who posted was right on with how this woman treats her kid- very harsh mean, unloving and cold. I would love some guidance on how to help this situation. I have prayed about it for a year and just am beside myself. The mom does treat the kid like an object and is very self centered. I do not know how to help the mom? What can I do to provide support? What makes it hard is she is very quick to judge and mistreat everyone around her? We are not good enough friends where ending the relationship would be noticeable, but I really worry about her daughter. The mom degrades the little tot and says horrible things about her husband, family and friends in front of the tot. I know even trying to help is playing with fire (I think the mom might be borderline personality). Should I contact the grandparents? Contact the adoption agency (she adopted through to see if the do post placement support?) The daughter's spirit is being broken every day.
Wednesday
Lorna Lane Park in Ramapo, NJ
Received Wednesday, February 27, 2008Could you get this on the blog straight away? I was just at Lorna Lane Park in Ramapo and I witnessed the following. One nanny, African American, tall, with orangey colored hair. She had it far back off her forehead, but it was short. She looked young, probably 25 or so. She was pushing a stroller that was blue with a blue and green plaid lining. It looked like a boy's stroller but she was pushing a little girl who did not want to ride in the stroller. The little girl was wearing a fleece jacket. The jacket was pink and white and did not have buttons but wooden pegs to secure it. The little girl had a Pebbles hairdo. She was probably 2 or 3. She was a White girl, with dark blonde hair. The girl was in the stroller but was whining and fussing to get out. The nanny eventually yanked her out and told her she could walk. The nanny was carrying a bottle of poland springs water that had a squirt top. I wasn't watching but I heard the girl cry out and she cried the nanny threw water on her. The girl's back of her head and jacket was wet. The nanny told her she was telling tales. She then said something like, 'so you want this water or what'. I know she was only covering for throwing water on the girl. It is about 35 degrees outside. The nanny was mad that the girl wanted out of her stroller. So yanking her out wasn't enough. Look, the girl was being whiny, I heard it. But come on! And I just watched Prime time live last night, What would you do, and still I was stumped about what to say and do. Mostly on account of not wanting to make it worse for the little girl. I don't think I was wrong about what I interpreted. If you know this girl, have the parents show up unexpectedly to see how that nanny treats her.
Horror Nanny-Why?
Received Wednesday, February 27, 2008-Rant
Caution-video is highly disturbing-I could not watch it myself.-JD
Video and rant submitted by: Nanny in The Know, who found the story on Greta Van Susteren.
What type of background checking did the parents do before they hired her? I guess we are all going to assume she is illegal, because she does not speak English?If so, she does not have an SS- how can you do a background check?If something happened to the child- would she call 911- or be afraid to call, because she maybe found to be illegal?
I know this type of story gets parents out running to buy nanny cams…
Nanny Cams have their place, and do catch negligent/abusive childcare givers out there, but it is ALWAYS -AFTER the abuse has occurred. NOTHING can replace careful and thorough screening by the parents before hiring a nanny.
The most essential thing a parent can do to keep their children safe is to do extensive interviewing, background checking, and reference checking to find a nanny they are comfortable with. Making sure the nanny has the proper training, CPR, 1st Aid, etc. is also key.
I personally would not leave a child under the age of 4 with any caregiver who does not have at least 2-3 years full-time nanny experience and a stellar background. I am not saying that nanny cams are a bad idea…but they should NOT be and CANNOT be a parent’s first line of defense.
It’s a parents responsibility to keep their child safe, therefore, they should rely far more on interviewing, reference checking, and background checking to find the best possible nanny for their family. Parents should never leave their child with anyone they have concerns with. Make sure the nanny has the knowledge and background to be a qualified child caregiver.
Caution-video is highly disturbing-I could not watch it myself.-JD
Video and rant submitted by: Nanny in The Know, who found the story on Greta Van Susteren.
What type of background checking did the parents do before they hired her? I guess we are all going to assume she is illegal, because she does not speak English?If so, she does not have an SS- how can you do a background check?If something happened to the child- would she call 911- or be afraid to call, because she maybe found to be illegal?
I know this type of story gets parents out running to buy nanny cams…
Nanny Cams have their place, and do catch negligent/abusive childcare givers out there, but it is ALWAYS -AFTER the abuse has occurred. NOTHING can replace careful and thorough screening by the parents before hiring a nanny.
The most essential thing a parent can do to keep their children safe is to do extensive interviewing, background checking, and reference checking to find a nanny they are comfortable with. Making sure the nanny has the proper training, CPR, 1st Aid, etc. is also key.
I personally would not leave a child under the age of 4 with any caregiver who does not have at least 2-3 years full-time nanny experience and a stellar background. I am not saying that nanny cams are a bad idea…but they should NOT be and CANNOT be a parent’s first line of defense.
It’s a parents responsibility to keep their child safe, therefore, they should rely far more on interviewing, reference checking, and background checking to find the best possible nanny for their family. Parents should never leave their child with anyone they have concerns with. Make sure the nanny has the knowledge and background to be a qualified child caregiver.
Tuesday
Could She Be A Klepto?
Received Tuesday, February 26, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I have a problem that I am not sure what to do about. First a little history.
I have 2 children, one with special needs. After going through several sitters, we found one we love. She comes everyday M-F Three to Eight PM. We pay her 20.00 per hour. She is wonderful! Our kids love her, she's never late or out sick. She does the dishes and cleans up after the kids and herself. She takes them great places and does all sorts of crafts with them. The problem. I think she is a Kleptomaniac! Since she started, I noticed small things disappearing. Nothing of real worth. A ream of paper from my home office, packags of wipes, pens, staples, toilet paper, etc. Even pampers though she has no babies in her family! Oddly enough, if I leave money, or jewelry lying around, that is never gone. I know it's the nanny because of the rate we go through things now that she's working here and the other day when I realized I was out of printer paper my Son said Nanny X took it. I know this is no big deal and I am not trying to be cheap here. I would gladly give this woman anything out of my home because other than this little issue, she's wonderful. But I am curious as to other parents and nannies opinions. Is it worth losing a great nanny over petty crap or could this be a sign of things to come? I'm not sure as she's been with us nearly a year.
I have a problem that I am not sure what to do about. First a little history.
I have 2 children, one with special needs. After going through several sitters, we found one we love. She comes everyday M-F Three to Eight PM. We pay her 20.00 per hour. She is wonderful! Our kids love her, she's never late or out sick. She does the dishes and cleans up after the kids and herself. She takes them great places and does all sorts of crafts with them. The problem. I think she is a Kleptomaniac! Since she started, I noticed small things disappearing. Nothing of real worth. A ream of paper from my home office, packags of wipes, pens, staples, toilet paper, etc. Even pampers though she has no babies in her family! Oddly enough, if I leave money, or jewelry lying around, that is never gone. I know it's the nanny because of the rate we go through things now that she's working here and the other day when I realized I was out of printer paper my Son said Nanny X took it. I know this is no big deal and I am not trying to be cheap here. I would gladly give this woman anything out of my home because other than this little issue, she's wonderful. But I am curious as to other parents and nannies opinions. Is it worth losing a great nanny over petty crap or could this be a sign of things to come? I'm not sure as she's been with us nearly a year.
Still Angry at the Sound of My Child Left Crying...
Received Tuesday, February 26, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
My regular nanny went home to her family for 7 days and I used a nanny that I am friendly with. The first week went okay. The nanny had been having some pain and went to the emergency room on Friday after she was relieved by my husband. She wasn't admitted, rather was released later that night and told she needed to have follow up tests to see what was wrong with her. She even stopped and filled her own prescription before returning home.
During the weekend, she wasn't really working. My husband told her to take it easy and rest up. We were aware she had a prescription for percocet.
On Monday morning, the nanny mentioned she was in pain but said that she wouldn't take the pill until she put my daughter down for a nap. I didn't give it much thought as I was worried about getting to my job. This is why I was utilizing her services, so I could get to my work as usual and of course she was being compensated for her time. I came home for a break around 12:30 on Monday and heard my daughter crying in her crib. The nanny was asleep in the guest room next to my daughter's, (where she had been staying all week). I was absolutely livid that my daughter had been crying. I pushed open the nanny's door which was ajar and said, "hello"?. The nanny looked at me and said, "She keeps throwing everything out of her crib. I just picked it up and put everything back in". I picked the stuff up she had thrown out of the crib and told her it was naptime and she went to sleep. I went back to work and the day seemed to finish okay. The nanny left last night.
My problem is this. This nanny is not my own nanny, she is someone I see on a regular basis. I just saw her this morning and I am so angry that she allowed my child to cry in her crib, I could only smile a terse smile. I am still paying her but I want to include a note that really documents how disappointed and shocked I was by her mid day nap taking. What do you think?
2/26 PM, 10:30 PM Thank you all for your perspective. I wasn't thinking at all of her and now I regret that. In my head I was thinking, I only needed her for these seven days, she should be here for me. The crying in itself was not a bad thing. I think I just walked in at the wrong moment. And I let other stressful situations going on in my life overwhelm me and affect the way I treated another person, a person I have genuine regard for. Again, thank you for your perspective. If you are wondering what I have decided, I am going to attach a note with her money and it will be thanking her for sticking it out with me when she wasn't feeling her best. -OP
My regular nanny went home to her family for 7 days and I used a nanny that I am friendly with. The first week went okay. The nanny had been having some pain and went to the emergency room on Friday after she was relieved by my husband. She wasn't admitted, rather was released later that night and told she needed to have follow up tests to see what was wrong with her. She even stopped and filled her own prescription before returning home.
During the weekend, she wasn't really working. My husband told her to take it easy and rest up. We were aware she had a prescription for percocet.
On Monday morning, the nanny mentioned she was in pain but said that she wouldn't take the pill until she put my daughter down for a nap. I didn't give it much thought as I was worried about getting to my job. This is why I was utilizing her services, so I could get to my work as usual and of course she was being compensated for her time. I came home for a break around 12:30 on Monday and heard my daughter crying in her crib. The nanny was asleep in the guest room next to my daughter's, (where she had been staying all week). I was absolutely livid that my daughter had been crying. I pushed open the nanny's door which was ajar and said, "hello"?. The nanny looked at me and said, "She keeps throwing everything out of her crib. I just picked it up and put everything back in". I picked the stuff up she had thrown out of the crib and told her it was naptime and she went to sleep. I went back to work and the day seemed to finish okay. The nanny left last night.
My problem is this. This nanny is not my own nanny, she is someone I see on a regular basis. I just saw her this morning and I am so angry that she allowed my child to cry in her crib, I could only smile a terse smile. I am still paying her but I want to include a note that really documents how disappointed and shocked I was by her mid day nap taking. What do you think?
2/26 PM, 10:30 PM Thank you all for your perspective. I wasn't thinking at all of her and now I regret that. In my head I was thinking, I only needed her for these seven days, she should be here for me. The crying in itself was not a bad thing. I think I just walked in at the wrong moment. And I let other stressful situations going on in my life overwhelm me and affect the way I treated another person, a person I have genuine regard for. Again, thank you for your perspective. If you are wondering what I have decided, I am going to attach a note with her money and it will be thanking her for sticking it out with me when she wasn't feeling her best. -OP
Bench Opposite the Bethesda Fountain in Central Park, NYC
Recieved Tuesday, February 26, 2008
It was too cold to be sleeping-you would think. But that did not stop this nanny in charge of a child nestled in a stroller from dozing off at around 2 PM yesterday, (2/25). The stroller was a Perego that had black, red, white and grey in it. The child had a mint green blanket around him (or her?). The nanny was heavyset, medium height, maybe 50 years old, hair was brownish and looked like it had been set on rollers and not combed out. The child was Caucasian, the nanny African American. The nanny drifted off for about 10-15 minutes.
It was too cold to be sleeping-you would think. But that did not stop this nanny in charge of a child nestled in a stroller from dozing off at around 2 PM yesterday, (2/25). The stroller was a Perego that had black, red, white and grey in it. The child had a mint green blanket around him (or her?). The nanny was heavyset, medium height, maybe 50 years old, hair was brownish and looked like it had been set on rollers and not combed out. The child was Caucasian, the nanny African American. The nanny drifted off for about 10-15 minutes.
Monday
Bathroom at Ancient Playground in NYC
Received Monday, February 25, 2008
This may or may not be anything. A nanny or sitter took a boy of about 2.5-3. into the bathroom at Ancient playground at about 1PM today, (2/25). The boy had apparently messed his pants. The babysitter asked him if he went number 1 or number 2. The boy said "2" and the nanny said, "then you know that is two spanks". I was washing my hands and she was in there with him and I heard her thwack him twice, over his pants as I heard fabric. The boy started crying, not outrageously, just normally. The babysitter called the boy, "Benny". At one point she said, "Benny, why"? She was not mad or out of control with the child, more so she simply informed him of the punishment and dispensed that punishment. I would never want such for my child but she may be doing what the parents asked. Right? That is what I somewhat convinced myself.
The babysitter was black, about 45-50 years of age, medium build, with a bun in her hair, dressed very neatly. The boy was wearing a green jacket, army green color specifically and I think blue jeans. He had brown hair that was cut short on the sides, but somewhat longer on the top.
This may or may not be anything. A nanny or sitter took a boy of about 2.5-3. into the bathroom at Ancient playground at about 1PM today, (2/25). The boy had apparently messed his pants. The babysitter asked him if he went number 1 or number 2. The boy said "2" and the nanny said, "then you know that is two spanks". I was washing my hands and she was in there with him and I heard her thwack him twice, over his pants as I heard fabric. The boy started crying, not outrageously, just normally. The babysitter called the boy, "Benny". At one point she said, "Benny, why"? She was not mad or out of control with the child, more so she simply informed him of the punishment and dispensed that punishment. I would never want such for my child but she may be doing what the parents asked. Right? That is what I somewhat convinced myself.
The babysitter was black, about 45-50 years of age, medium build, with a bun in her hair, dressed very neatly. The boy was wearing a green jacket, army green color specifically and I think blue jeans. He had brown hair that was cut short on the sides, but somewhat longer on the top.
Sunday
Fun4All Park in Port Jefferson Station, NY
Received Sunday, February 24, 2008
Saturday, (2/23) at approximately 10:45-11:15, I witnessed a nanny and her charge at the Fun4All Indoor Play park in Port Jefferson Station. The nanny was upset because she gave the child orders to meet her by a certain yellow slide and he was not there while she waited for about three minutes and then went to find him- at another yellow slide waiting for her. He was only about three years old and when he was taking off his shoes, I helped him put his shoes back on (the rules). Also my husband was on hand to help give him a boost on a climbing structure. The little boy tried to bond with us, asking us to watch him do this and that. The fact that the nanny was upset because he wasn't there was ridiculous given his age. She was on her cell phone, even as she waited and adult supervision is one of the rules of the place. He was a sweet boy and I didn't mind the interaction with him, but even in a child friendly place such as this, predators lurk looking specifically for the child who is left alone.
Nanny: Approximately 5'5, 150 lbs, straight medium brown hair, medium skin color, Hispanic, brown corduroys, white thigh length sweater with tied sash, black cell phone in a black leather flip case.
Child: Approximately 3 years old, Caucasian, straight white/blonde hair, pale skin, blue eyes, Caucasian, has a very sweet talking voice, was wearing Cakewalk cargo pants with a zipper and pocket on the front of each leg, eggplant color and a striped shirt with many colors and stripes and a silk screen of a tiger on top of that. He had on Adidas short socks and blue leather sneakers with double velcro and the letter N on it. I am not familiar with the brand but the child was clearly well dressed.
Saturday, (2/23) at approximately 10:45-11:15, I witnessed a nanny and her charge at the Fun4All Indoor Play park in Port Jefferson Station. The nanny was upset because she gave the child orders to meet her by a certain yellow slide and he was not there while she waited for about three minutes and then went to find him- at another yellow slide waiting for her. He was only about three years old and when he was taking off his shoes, I helped him put his shoes back on (the rules). Also my husband was on hand to help give him a boost on a climbing structure. The little boy tried to bond with us, asking us to watch him do this and that. The fact that the nanny was upset because he wasn't there was ridiculous given his age. She was on her cell phone, even as she waited and adult supervision is one of the rules of the place. He was a sweet boy and I didn't mind the interaction with him, but even in a child friendly place such as this, predators lurk looking specifically for the child who is left alone.
Nanny: Approximately 5'5, 150 lbs, straight medium brown hair, medium skin color, Hispanic, brown corduroys, white thigh length sweater with tied sash, black cell phone in a black leather flip case.
Child: Approximately 3 years old, Caucasian, straight white/blonde hair, pale skin, blue eyes, Caucasian, has a very sweet talking voice, was wearing Cakewalk cargo pants with a zipper and pocket on the front of each leg, eggplant color and a striped shirt with many colors and stripes and a silk screen of a tiger on top of that. He had on Adidas short socks and blue leather sneakers with double velcro and the letter N on it. I am not familiar with the brand but the child was clearly well dressed.
5 Minutes Late...
Received Sunday, February 24, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
Hi, Everyone
I have been working as a part time nanny with a family for 3 months. They live approx 40 minutes away from me and with traffic, generally an hour. The mom is a stay at home mom of 3 childeren and does not work from home or anything. Basically, my duties involve taking care of the two infants, while she takes the toddler out for some alone time together. I am suppose to arrive at 8 am but sometimes I get there at 8:05. The traffic is seriously brutual in the area. Last week, we had a big ice storm and I almost got into a accident getting to there house. However, I made it there and was about 10 minutes late. Like I stated, this mom never has a specific scheduled time to be anywhere.
Last week I walked into her home approx 8:03 and she looked at me (not even saying hello) and with a very snippy tone said "YOU ARE LATE AGAIN, THIS IS LIKE EVERYDAY NOW,,,UNREAL...So I felt terrible and of course stated that I would stay the extra 5 minutes to make up the time. (and I did) Then she turned around and stated to me that she only needed me for 2 hours that morning (instead of the usual 5 hours) because she was having a woman come over to evaluate the kids for a school project. She said sorry I didnt give you notice but I have been busy. So she kept me for 2 hours and then sent me home without paying me for the full 5 hours. I thought that was extremely rude but I just kept my mouth shut. Also, I generally work for her approx 8-1 and then leave that job and go to another job right in town around 1:15 (she also knows this) So basically I was stuck hanging around the area with nothing to do for 3 hours. There was no point of me driving all the way home and going back in another hour or so (especially with gas prices).
I understand that being on time is very important with any job. However, I feel that providing great care and love to kids is much more important than being 5 minutes late every once in a while. I am a very laid back loving indvidual. Where she is very High strung with a TYPE A personalitly!! I dont feel like we click at all and I generally feel very uncomfortable working with her. I love and adore her kids so much!! I would love to hear some nannies and parent views of this situation. Should I give it another shot or should I leave?? I feel like she lied to me because I was late and sent me home just out of spite. However, I would really like to hear some more opinions before making a final decsion. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to listen to me!!
Hi, Everyone
I have been working as a part time nanny with a family for 3 months. They live approx 40 minutes away from me and with traffic, generally an hour. The mom is a stay at home mom of 3 childeren and does not work from home or anything. Basically, my duties involve taking care of the two infants, while she takes the toddler out for some alone time together. I am suppose to arrive at 8 am but sometimes I get there at 8:05. The traffic is seriously brutual in the area. Last week, we had a big ice storm and I almost got into a accident getting to there house. However, I made it there and was about 10 minutes late. Like I stated, this mom never has a specific scheduled time to be anywhere.
Last week I walked into her home approx 8:03 and she looked at me (not even saying hello) and with a very snippy tone said "YOU ARE LATE AGAIN, THIS IS LIKE EVERYDAY NOW,,,UNREAL...So I felt terrible and of course stated that I would stay the extra 5 minutes to make up the time. (and I did) Then she turned around and stated to me that she only needed me for 2 hours that morning (instead of the usual 5 hours) because she was having a woman come over to evaluate the kids for a school project. She said sorry I didnt give you notice but I have been busy. So she kept me for 2 hours and then sent me home without paying me for the full 5 hours. I thought that was extremely rude but I just kept my mouth shut. Also, I generally work for her approx 8-1 and then leave that job and go to another job right in town around 1:15 (she also knows this) So basically I was stuck hanging around the area with nothing to do for 3 hours. There was no point of me driving all the way home and going back in another hour or so (especially with gas prices).
I understand that being on time is very important with any job. However, I feel that providing great care and love to kids is much more important than being 5 minutes late every once in a while. I am a very laid back loving indvidual. Where she is very High strung with a TYPE A personalitly!! I dont feel like we click at all and I generally feel very uncomfortable working with her. I love and adore her kids so much!! I would love to hear some nannies and parent views of this situation. Should I give it another shot or should I leave?? I feel like she lied to me because I was late and sent me home just out of spite. However, I would really like to hear some more opinions before making a final decsion. Any help would be appreciated. Thanks for taking the time to listen to me!!
Saturday
Pollyanna?
Received Saturday, February 23-Perspective & Opinion
I wouldn't call this a question of a nanny being too good, she is good and that is why we love her. She is an American from a fairly religious background, she sets and adheres to a very high moral code. This is wonderful for our three children. We have no set regulations on television, so long as the child are not wasting away in front of it, we have no problem with occasional television. Our nanny never watches television, ever.
We also try to eat reasonably healthy but we do not want to make food an issue. I grew up in a home where there was never any sugar and became obsessed with junk which I began to sneak in the home and hoard and binge on. Our nanny eats a very strict macrobiotic diet. And while I would not call this a problem compared to the real problems of everyday life, I cannot help feel that everything we are doing in the nanny's eyes is wrong. I didn't initially feel like that, we had a sense of humor at the beginning. The children eat with the nanny and they ask why she eats x,y and z and when you listen to her explain why honestly, I feel we should be eating her way.
When my youngest asks her to come and watch her favorite cartoon with her on a snow day, (recently), nanny said, "I won't let myself waste away like that, but I will make snowflakes crafts with you".
If the nanny by being such a stellar example, because that is all I can fault her for-makes me feel badly about myself, should I worry that the children too may feel bad about themselves? It isn't a problem, per say and I am not looking for a solution, I am just curious how other employers would feel about these issues. Keep in mind, we do have a very honest, diligent person working for us and all of the many positives she brings to the table are not lost on any of us. And as a nanny who would surely be highly sought by others, I also too wonder if she may be deciding that we are not the right family for us. She has been with us 6 months.
I wouldn't call this a question of a nanny being too good, she is good and that is why we love her. She is an American from a fairly religious background, she sets and adheres to a very high moral code. This is wonderful for our three children. We have no set regulations on television, so long as the child are not wasting away in front of it, we have no problem with occasional television. Our nanny never watches television, ever.
We also try to eat reasonably healthy but we do not want to make food an issue. I grew up in a home where there was never any sugar and became obsessed with junk which I began to sneak in the home and hoard and binge on. Our nanny eats a very strict macrobiotic diet. And while I would not call this a problem compared to the real problems of everyday life, I cannot help feel that everything we are doing in the nanny's eyes is wrong. I didn't initially feel like that, we had a sense of humor at the beginning. The children eat with the nanny and they ask why she eats x,y and z and when you listen to her explain why honestly, I feel we should be eating her way.
When my youngest asks her to come and watch her favorite cartoon with her on a snow day, (recently), nanny said, "I won't let myself waste away like that, but I will make snowflakes crafts with you".
If the nanny by being such a stellar example, because that is all I can fault her for-makes me feel badly about myself, should I worry that the children too may feel bad about themselves? It isn't a problem, per say and I am not looking for a solution, I am just curious how other employers would feel about these issues. Keep in mind, we do have a very honest, diligent person working for us and all of the many positives she brings to the table are not lost on any of us. And as a nanny who would surely be highly sought by others, I also too wonder if she may be deciding that we are not the right family for us. She has been with us 6 months.
Death in the Babysitter's Family...
Received Saturday, February 23-Perspective & Opinion
Our wonderful babysitter recently had a very close member of her family pass away. We love her like one of our own children, and want to be there for her in every respect. My question is, how can I make sure that she knows I am there if she needs anything without making her uncomfortable? All opinions appreciated; thank you.
Our wonderful babysitter recently had a very close member of her family pass away. We love her like one of our own children, and want to be there for her in every respect. My question is, how can I make sure that she knows I am there if she needs anything without making her uncomfortable? All opinions appreciated; thank you.
Friday
This is not a nanny question, but...
Received Friday, February 22, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
This is not a nanny question, but I really need some advice, please. About 2 wks. ago my 5 y.o. son came home really upset and I could tell that he had been crying. I asked what happened and he said a Teacher in the cafeteria at his school yelled at him to eat because the class was running late and needed to head back. He told me he didn't get a chance to eat and I was very upset.I went to the school the next day and spoke to one of the other Teachers that my son said was in the cafe at the time. She verified my sons story completely and said that she would keep an eye on him and make sure he got to eat. (She is very nice and is very fond of my son).
Today, my son said the same Teacher as before grabbed him by the back of the neck (not hard, but still left a tiny scratch) and told him to "eat now"! My son started to cry, never got to finish more than 2 or 3 bites (and was starving by the time he got home), and another kid took his icecream.
I am so pissed, I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of going in and saying the wrong thing and getting my son ostracized, but I can't believe this woman is putting her hands on my kid! And on top of that, I'm worried she's going to cause my son to have an issue with food because he says: she forces me to eat.What should I do? My husband says to go to the Principal, but I think it might make it worse. I would go back to the other Teacher that helped my son last time, but he said she was there and did nothing this time! At least I have the weekend to cool off because right now I know I'd say something I'd regret.Please help me. What should I do?
This is not a nanny question, but I really need some advice, please. About 2 wks. ago my 5 y.o. son came home really upset and I could tell that he had been crying. I asked what happened and he said a Teacher in the cafeteria at his school yelled at him to eat because the class was running late and needed to head back. He told me he didn't get a chance to eat and I was very upset.I went to the school the next day and spoke to one of the other Teachers that my son said was in the cafe at the time. She verified my sons story completely and said that she would keep an eye on him and make sure he got to eat. (She is very nice and is very fond of my son).
Today, my son said the same Teacher as before grabbed him by the back of the neck (not hard, but still left a tiny scratch) and told him to "eat now"! My son started to cry, never got to finish more than 2 or 3 bites (and was starving by the time he got home), and another kid took his icecream.
I am so pissed, I don't know what to do. I'm afraid of going in and saying the wrong thing and getting my son ostracized, but I can't believe this woman is putting her hands on my kid! And on top of that, I'm worried she's going to cause my son to have an issue with food because he says: she forces me to eat.What should I do? My husband says to go to the Principal, but I think it might make it worse. I would go back to the other Teacher that helped my son last time, but he said she was there and did nothing this time! At least I have the weekend to cool off because right now I know I'd say something I'd regret.Please help me. What should I do?
Treehouse Social Club in Beverly Hills, CA
Received Friday, February 22, 2008
Today at Treehouse Social Club in Beverly Hills, CA - small male red headed boy, about 6 months, just learning to crawl, left alone in toddler area. When Nanny returned she sat in chair starring off into space. did not engage, speak to, touch or address child in any way the entire time they were there. Child picked up a piece of paper and placed in his mouth and was playing with it. when nanny finally noticed she shoved her hand in childs mouth repeatedly and severely scolded him. The piece of paper was very, very small which did not require the repeated efforts of forcing his jaw open and sweeping him mouth with all of her fingers. This was not done in a manner that someone certified in CPR would do. when she became aware that I was watching, she gave me quite a glare as she quickly packed up child and left. Child was left alone for quite some time. this is a supervised play situation. I was with my child very close by and there are other parents present so no child would get seriously injured but this child was much too young to be left alone and scolded in such a manner. He was far too young to be completely ignored for extended periods of time. also, nanny was very aggressive with regard to handling child. nanny was hispanic with heavily highlighted hair and faux leaopard jacket. child was male, very young, 6 months with bright red hair.
Today at Treehouse Social Club in Beverly Hills, CA - small male red headed boy, about 6 months, just learning to crawl, left alone in toddler area. When Nanny returned she sat in chair starring off into space. did not engage, speak to, touch or address child in any way the entire time they were there. Child picked up a piece of paper and placed in his mouth and was playing with it. when nanny finally noticed she shoved her hand in childs mouth repeatedly and severely scolded him. The piece of paper was very, very small which did not require the repeated efforts of forcing his jaw open and sweeping him mouth with all of her fingers. This was not done in a manner that someone certified in CPR would do. when she became aware that I was watching, she gave me quite a glare as she quickly packed up child and left. Child was left alone for quite some time. this is a supervised play situation. I was with my child very close by and there are other parents present so no child would get seriously injured but this child was much too young to be left alone and scolded in such a manner. He was far too young to be completely ignored for extended periods of time. also, nanny was very aggressive with regard to handling child. nanny was hispanic with heavily highlighted hair and faux leaopard jacket. child was male, very young, 6 months with bright red hair.
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Thursday
Cove Island Park in Stamford, CT
Received Thursday, February 21, 2008
Light skinned Hispanic nanny was seen walking around Cove Island Park on the trail pushing a little girl in a purple jacket, hood up and white scarf around the outside of the jacket about 1/2 hour ago. (2/21- 1:00 PM?) The stroller was a gray, black and blue stroller and the little girl was sitting on blankets and had a pink blanket over her legs. She was well bundled. I noticed the nanny looking towards the parking area, just assumed she was waiting for her ride. I went and sat in my car to eat lunch. A male pulls up and the nanny goes to him, greets him with a very long kiss. She takes the girl out of the stroller, puts the little girl in the backseat, leaves the stroller by the passenger door and gets in the car where she pro cedes to 'make out' with this man and 'talk' for about 15 minutes. In fairness, there seemed to be a lot of talking, but there were also many times their heads remained connected at the lip. More conversation. Then the guy gets out, goes over and opens the car door for the woman. *They get the baby out, put the baby back in the stroller, bundle her back up, one more kiss and the nanny and the male gets back in the car and drives off. The male was about 40 years old, white, with brownish, thick hair, pleasant looking, wearing a pair of dark suit pants, a white dress shirt and he had a brown leather looking dressy coat over the top of that. I know he had a tie on but I cant recall what color. He was driving a silver audi suv. The nanny had on black boots that were flat, no heel but had a fancy tie up going up the front of them. She wore her jeans tucked in to the boots and a cream colored coat. The nanny had shoulder length brown hair that was wavy and she looked to be about 30.
"to clarify, after putting the child back in the stroller and kissing goodbye, the male drove off and the nanny walked off with the child in the stroller. the baby was never left alone or outside of the vehicle" -Author
Light skinned Hispanic nanny was seen walking around Cove Island Park on the trail pushing a little girl in a purple jacket, hood up and white scarf around the outside of the jacket about 1/2 hour ago. (2/21- 1:00 PM?) The stroller was a gray, black and blue stroller and the little girl was sitting on blankets and had a pink blanket over her legs. She was well bundled. I noticed the nanny looking towards the parking area, just assumed she was waiting for her ride. I went and sat in my car to eat lunch. A male pulls up and the nanny goes to him, greets him with a very long kiss. She takes the girl out of the stroller, puts the little girl in the backseat, leaves the stroller by the passenger door and gets in the car where she pro cedes to 'make out' with this man and 'talk' for about 15 minutes. In fairness, there seemed to be a lot of talking, but there were also many times their heads remained connected at the lip. More conversation. Then the guy gets out, goes over and opens the car door for the woman. *They get the baby out, put the baby back in the stroller, bundle her back up, one more kiss and the nanny and the male gets back in the car and drives off. The male was about 40 years old, white, with brownish, thick hair, pleasant looking, wearing a pair of dark suit pants, a white dress shirt and he had a brown leather looking dressy coat over the top of that. I know he had a tie on but I cant recall what color. He was driving a silver audi suv. The nanny had on black boots that were flat, no heel but had a fancy tie up going up the front of them. She wore her jeans tucked in to the boots and a cream colored coat. The nanny had shoulder length brown hair that was wavy and she looked to be about 30.
"to clarify, after putting the child back in the stroller and kissing goodbye, the male drove off and the nanny walked off with the child in the stroller. the baby was never left alone or outside of the vehicle" -Author
Food Issues and the Nanny...
Received Thursday, February 21, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
Hello everyone,
I was hoping that you might be able to assist me with some food issues I am having with my nanny. My former nanny left in October and the new nanny started in November right before Thanksgiving. We were doing a lot of entertaining and hosting a lot of visiting family, so we always had a ton of food in the house. All sorts of foods, holiday fair, appetizers, etc. The nanny was welcomed to have lunch from our refrigerator. When she would see my cooking in the evening, I would say there would be leftovers and ask her if I should save her some. She was very polite and asked that I would. This surplus of food went on through the holidays.
In January, we began eating normally again. I work from home and have a home office that is detached from the home, so while I may come in for a meal, I am never underfoot of the nanny. She knows my schedule and is free to set up her own with the child, which cannot involve me when I am working. The nanny gets the children's lunch ready for a certain time and I come over to have lunch with the children and will usually have a lean cuisine or when I am out meeting clients in the morning, I might pick up a chicken salad or a sandwich. The benefit of working from home is that I get to join my children for their meals and sit down and talk to them. If I ask the nanny if she is eating, she always say, "I couldn't find anything". Then I throw a bunch of suggestions at her. I have shared sandwiches with her, given her lean cuisines, etc. This is problem 1. It seems I am now responsible for her lunch. Quite frankly, I don't want to be responsible for her lunch.
But that is not the only problem. My previous nanny was quite overweight, but I never noticed that she depleted our food supply. She seemed quite modest with her food intake, at least when our food was concerned. I have two children under 3.5. The house is stalked with a lot of child friendly foods including yogurts, cheeses, animal crackers, kids meals, kids mac, chicken nuggets, oatmeal's, kid's cereals, milk, chocolate milk, oatmeal, etc. And I am constantly running out of things. I don't know where she puts it. The amount of milk we are going through is outrageous with two children in the house. I don't know when she eats it or where she puts it. I wouldn't call her thin, but she is not fat. To be honest, I am less likely to want to address this problem and more concerned about the lunch problem.
The nanny's hours are M-Thursday from 8-6 and Friday from 8AM-1Pm. She is not paid on the books, but is paid $750 per week cash. We live in an area where if she wanted to get out, she could put the children in the stroller and walk to town and get herself what she wanted. She is not stuck in the house, I encourage her to take the children out. She walks to our house from the train station every morning and each night. So aside from being fit enough to turn an outing for the children into an opportunity to pick up a lunch she might like, we also have a nanny vehicle available for her to drive around town.
The last problem I have is that the nanny takes the train home and only recently I have observed her packing a bag for the train. The bag usually involves a juice box or water bottle, a sandwich and a baggy full of gold fish or animal crackers or something. I know calling this a "problem" is a stretch. I am not a petty person, quite frankly I am more concerned where this is heading. Is this normal conduct for a live out nanny? If it, I will surely adjust my attitude. Maybe having an overweight nanny who was overly conscience of what she ate around us might have spoiled me a bit to the real food needs of an adult? I am asking for serious advice from nannies or employers. As a mom who works out of the home, it is especially important to me to have a solid relationship with my nanny and I have to admit, a part of me resents what I sometimes feel is greediness. Am I wrong?
Hello everyone,
I was hoping that you might be able to assist me with some food issues I am having with my nanny. My former nanny left in October and the new nanny started in November right before Thanksgiving. We were doing a lot of entertaining and hosting a lot of visiting family, so we always had a ton of food in the house. All sorts of foods, holiday fair, appetizers, etc. The nanny was welcomed to have lunch from our refrigerator. When she would see my cooking in the evening, I would say there would be leftovers and ask her if I should save her some. She was very polite and asked that I would. This surplus of food went on through the holidays.
In January, we began eating normally again. I work from home and have a home office that is detached from the home, so while I may come in for a meal, I am never underfoot of the nanny. She knows my schedule and is free to set up her own with the child, which cannot involve me when I am working. The nanny gets the children's lunch ready for a certain time and I come over to have lunch with the children and will usually have a lean cuisine or when I am out meeting clients in the morning, I might pick up a chicken salad or a sandwich. The benefit of working from home is that I get to join my children for their meals and sit down and talk to them. If I ask the nanny if she is eating, she always say, "I couldn't find anything". Then I throw a bunch of suggestions at her. I have shared sandwiches with her, given her lean cuisines, etc. This is problem 1. It seems I am now responsible for her lunch. Quite frankly, I don't want to be responsible for her lunch.
But that is not the only problem. My previous nanny was quite overweight, but I never noticed that she depleted our food supply. She seemed quite modest with her food intake, at least when our food was concerned. I have two children under 3.5. The house is stalked with a lot of child friendly foods including yogurts, cheeses, animal crackers, kids meals, kids mac, chicken nuggets, oatmeal's, kid's cereals, milk, chocolate milk, oatmeal, etc. And I am constantly running out of things. I don't know where she puts it. The amount of milk we are going through is outrageous with two children in the house. I don't know when she eats it or where she puts it. I wouldn't call her thin, but she is not fat. To be honest, I am less likely to want to address this problem and more concerned about the lunch problem.
The nanny's hours are M-Thursday from 8-6 and Friday from 8AM-1Pm. She is not paid on the books, but is paid $750 per week cash. We live in an area where if she wanted to get out, she could put the children in the stroller and walk to town and get herself what she wanted. She is not stuck in the house, I encourage her to take the children out. She walks to our house from the train station every morning and each night. So aside from being fit enough to turn an outing for the children into an opportunity to pick up a lunch she might like, we also have a nanny vehicle available for her to drive around town.
The last problem I have is that the nanny takes the train home and only recently I have observed her packing a bag for the train. The bag usually involves a juice box or water bottle, a sandwich and a baggy full of gold fish or animal crackers or something. I know calling this a "problem" is a stretch. I am not a petty person, quite frankly I am more concerned where this is heading. Is this normal conduct for a live out nanny? If it, I will surely adjust my attitude. Maybe having an overweight nanny who was overly conscience of what she ate around us might have spoiled me a bit to the real food needs of an adult? I am asking for serious advice from nannies or employers. As a mom who works out of the home, it is especially important to me to have a solid relationship with my nanny and I have to admit, a part of me resents what I sometimes feel is greediness. Am I wrong?
Wednesday
Wednesday, February 20, 2008
Nanny Nightmare Stories
To say finding a high-quality nanny is a stressful experience is quite an understatement. Each person you interview can potentially have a huge impact on your child and your relationship with your child. This person is invited into your home and often is treated like a family member—your young child will think of her as family as she will spend the most time with her and potentially have the biggest influence on her. Getting it right is hard under the best circumstances, but often, we women have only a few weeks to find someone and must rely on reputation, referrals, and our “gut instinct.”... Continue reading the Laura Roe Stevens article.
Au pairs: The Mademoiselles From Hell
Maybe it's my rose-tinted memory but I look back on the au pairs we had when I was a child as being helpful, kind, reasonable human beings. OK, they couldn't speak much English and they might have mistaken tulip bulbs for onions when they cooked (true, one did), but they were generally willing to muck in and do what they were asked. They were happy to stay up all night with my mother decorating (and drinking wine), they would take on my father if he came home late and wanted to rev us up before bedtime and they would even clean out our basset hound's ears with boiling wax and cotton wool... Continue Reading the Belinda Richardson article.
Nanny Nightmares: 7 Things You Don't Want Your Nanny to Do
As many parents know, it's difficult to find the right nanny, and when you do she's a godsend, providing the kind of high-quality care that studies show is important, along with cuddles and play in your child's own home. After five years of nannies, I can honestly say I’ve never regretted opting for this type of childcare - even if my bank balance has. But despite the greater measure of control a parent has through having a sole employee working in their house, things don't always go as we'd like... Continue reading the article by Sarah Ebner.
Pram Suspects
'I liked the Polish nanny, Justina, but she wanted to live out, with her boyfriend," says Katie, a writer and mother of three from Shepherd's Bush, west London. ''When I called her referee, the woman said, coldly: "Do you know who her boyfriend is? He's my husband."
Lesson number one in how to avoid nanny angst: never employ a nubile Pole who likes to prance around the house in knickers and Ugg boots.... Continue reading the article by Lucy Atkins.
To say finding a high-quality nanny is a stressful experience is quite an understatement. Each person you interview can potentially have a huge impact on your child and your relationship with your child. This person is invited into your home and often is treated like a family member—your young child will think of her as family as she will spend the most time with her and potentially have the biggest influence on her. Getting it right is hard under the best circumstances, but often, we women have only a few weeks to find someone and must rely on reputation, referrals, and our “gut instinct.”... Continue reading the Laura Roe Stevens article.
Au pairs: The Mademoiselles From Hell
Maybe it's my rose-tinted memory but I look back on the au pairs we had when I was a child as being helpful, kind, reasonable human beings. OK, they couldn't speak much English and they might have mistaken tulip bulbs for onions when they cooked (true, one did), but they were generally willing to muck in and do what they were asked. They were happy to stay up all night with my mother decorating (and drinking wine), they would take on my father if he came home late and wanted to rev us up before bedtime and they would even clean out our basset hound's ears with boiling wax and cotton wool... Continue Reading the Belinda Richardson article.
Nanny Nightmares: 7 Things You Don't Want Your Nanny to Do
As many parents know, it's difficult to find the right nanny, and when you do she's a godsend, providing the kind of high-quality care that studies show is important, along with cuddles and play in your child's own home. After five years of nannies, I can honestly say I’ve never regretted opting for this type of childcare - even if my bank balance has. But despite the greater measure of control a parent has through having a sole employee working in their house, things don't always go as we'd like... Continue reading the article by Sarah Ebner.
Pram Suspects
'I liked the Polish nanny, Justina, but she wanted to live out, with her boyfriend," says Katie, a writer and mother of three from Shepherd's Bush, west London. ''When I called her referee, the woman said, coldly: "Do you know who her boyfriend is? He's my husband."
Lesson number one in how to avoid nanny angst: never employ a nubile Pole who likes to prance around the house in knickers and Ugg boots.... Continue reading the article by Lucy Atkins.
Tuesday
Elysian Park in Hoboken, NJ
Received Tuesday, February 19, 2008
On (2/18) @ 12:40 PM EST at the dog walk @ Elysian Park in Hoboken.
White/Hispanic biracial female with straight hair, drawn on eyebrows, wearing an orange-ish, down parka that tied at the waist. She was walking a dog that looked to be part yellow Labrador on a green leash and she was accompanied by a boy of about 3.5-4.5. The boy was hacking a cough, walking slowly and she kept yelling at him to hurry up. She muttered some comment about her not being a dog walker so "it" meaning being there, I think- was worse on her. If you could have observed this with your own eyes, you would have wondered about the care the little guy received on a daily basis. Boy had curly, brown hair. Brown jacket open over a medium blue and dark blue striped shirt, blue jeans.
On (2/18) @ 12:40 PM EST at the dog walk @ Elysian Park in Hoboken.
White/Hispanic biracial female with straight hair, drawn on eyebrows, wearing an orange-ish, down parka that tied at the waist. She was walking a dog that looked to be part yellow Labrador on a green leash and she was accompanied by a boy of about 3.5-4.5. The boy was hacking a cough, walking slowly and she kept yelling at him to hurry up. She muttered some comment about her not being a dog walker so "it" meaning being there, I think- was worse on her. If you could have observed this with your own eyes, you would have wondered about the care the little guy received on a daily basis. Boy had curly, brown hair. Brown jacket open over a medium blue and dark blue striped shirt, blue jeans.
Enchanted Kingdom Play Area in Scottsdale, AZ
Receieved Tuesday, February 19, 2008
My daughter had the worst time on Saturday, (2/16/08) because of a little boy who was not being properly cared for by his babysitter. If you sent your babysitter to the indoor play area on Play Area in the Scottsale Fashion Square Mall on East Camelback Road in Arizona on Saturday with your son who is about three years old with dark hair and if he wore grey cords and a black sweatshirt, it would do you good to hire a babysitter who taught your son when he attacked and bullied other kids. But she couldn't since she paid him no attention. It was even difficult for me to even find out who his sitter was after he reduced my three year old to tears. If you know the person who employs a babysitter who is a heavier set white woman with brown hair and about 30 years old, who on that day was wearing blue jeans and a plaid shirt open with a top underneath it, please let that child's parent know that something should be done. Because your son was not caught in his behavior, he hurt my child and had other parents making faces at him and keeping their children away from him. A better babysitter would have been with him catching him acting up and setting him straight so that he could make friends. That is what these places are for. These places are to give the kids a place to get together and learn to be social and share and get along. This shouldn't be a place where one child gets to be a bully and one bad babysitter lets it happen. If you are even thinking of asking how we knew it was not the mom, it is because we asked the boy where his mom was and he told us he was with his babysitter. I hope the parents step in and do something.
My daughter had the worst time on Saturday, (2/16/08) because of a little boy who was not being properly cared for by his babysitter. If you sent your babysitter to the indoor play area on Play Area in the Scottsale Fashion Square Mall on East Camelback Road in Arizona on Saturday with your son who is about three years old with dark hair and if he wore grey cords and a black sweatshirt, it would do you good to hire a babysitter who taught your son when he attacked and bullied other kids. But she couldn't since she paid him no attention. It was even difficult for me to even find out who his sitter was after he reduced my three year old to tears. If you know the person who employs a babysitter who is a heavier set white woman with brown hair and about 30 years old, who on that day was wearing blue jeans and a plaid shirt open with a top underneath it, please let that child's parent know that something should be done. Because your son was not caught in his behavior, he hurt my child and had other parents making faces at him and keeping their children away from him. A better babysitter would have been with him catching him acting up and setting him straight so that he could make friends. That is what these places are for. These places are to give the kids a place to get together and learn to be social and share and get along. This shouldn't be a place where one child gets to be a bully and one bad babysitter lets it happen. If you are even thinking of asking how we knew it was not the mom, it is because we asked the boy where his mom was and he told us he was with his babysitter. I hope the parents step in and do something.
(Another) Nanny Tax Problem...
Received Tuesday, February 19, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I have a huge tax problem. I am working for a very decent family and I have a very good job. Our work relationship, however pleasant is strictly professional. I make mention of this so you can understand why I bring my question to an anonymous forum and not straight to my employers.
I have been with them 19 months as of now. I accepted the position after being flown out to the LA area from Princeton, NJ where I had been working as a nanny. After a brief negotiation of duties and salary, we settled that I would make X amount of money and they would claim me on their taxes, paying the taxes required of me. So that what I took home every week was my net and not my gross, I was assured by both parents that they would pay my taxes for me when I figured them at the end of the year. This way, they paid the exact tax bill, no more-no less. Last year, it worked out fine. I figured my taxes, provided them a copy of my return and I was issues a personal check in the exact amount by the father. I deposited that money in my checking account and wrote the IRS a check and sent in my tax return. No problem.
This year had proceeded just the same. Last week, I went home to New Jersey and was present while IRS agent was completing his audit of my mother. I was present as her witness/support. Again, I don't want to reveal too much. The auditor was very nice and helpful and was working towards wrapping things up with my mother, feeling everything was satisfied and in order. I have to make it clear the auditor was very personable and asked about children and our jobs and also spoke of his own children. He was talking about his nanny and how he has had the same nanny for so many years. I am only mentioning this all, so you can see the train of thought on how this went. I boasted of my great employers and how I was paid on the books and they took care of all the taxes. The auditor told me that I couldn't do that. He said in no uncertain terms, that check that was written out to me last year and this year {only last week} is taxable in and of itself and I should be the wiser to claim it correctly.
To make this long story short, since I opened my mouth, do I have to eat this cost myself? Or could they have been handling my tax situation differently by grossing up the net as withholding and reporting it like that? Do I mention this to my employer or not? I have not spoke further about it to anyone as I am tempted to just ignore the whole conversation. The auditor did not say he was going to report me or come after me, but now I feel I am losing sleep over this. Should I be? I mailed my tax return in for 2007 on Thursday of last week.
I have a huge tax problem. I am working for a very decent family and I have a very good job. Our work relationship, however pleasant is strictly professional. I make mention of this so you can understand why I bring my question to an anonymous forum and not straight to my employers.
I have been with them 19 months as of now. I accepted the position after being flown out to the LA area from Princeton, NJ where I had been working as a nanny. After a brief negotiation of duties and salary, we settled that I would make X amount of money and they would claim me on their taxes, paying the taxes required of me. So that what I took home every week was my net and not my gross, I was assured by both parents that they would pay my taxes for me when I figured them at the end of the year. This way, they paid the exact tax bill, no more-no less. Last year, it worked out fine. I figured my taxes, provided them a copy of my return and I was issues a personal check in the exact amount by the father. I deposited that money in my checking account and wrote the IRS a check and sent in my tax return. No problem.
This year had proceeded just the same. Last week, I went home to New Jersey and was present while IRS agent was completing his audit of my mother. I was present as her witness/support. Again, I don't want to reveal too much. The auditor was very nice and helpful and was working towards wrapping things up with my mother, feeling everything was satisfied and in order. I have to make it clear the auditor was very personable and asked about children and our jobs and also spoke of his own children. He was talking about his nanny and how he has had the same nanny for so many years. I am only mentioning this all, so you can see the train of thought on how this went. I boasted of my great employers and how I was paid on the books and they took care of all the taxes. The auditor told me that I couldn't do that. He said in no uncertain terms, that check that was written out to me last year and this year {only last week} is taxable in and of itself and I should be the wiser to claim it correctly.
To make this long story short, since I opened my mouth, do I have to eat this cost myself? Or could they have been handling my tax situation differently by grossing up the net as withholding and reporting it like that? Do I mention this to my employer or not? I have not spoke further about it to anyone as I am tempted to just ignore the whole conversation. The auditor did not say he was going to report me or come after me, but now I feel I am losing sleep over this. Should I be? I mailed my tax return in for 2007 on Thursday of last week.
Bethenny's nanny on the UES, NYC
Received Tuesday, February 19, 2008- Rant (?)
Dear Bethenny,
I observe your new nanny on a fairly regular basis. I am taking the time to write and tell you she is very good at what she does. I know the last nanny that worked for you, the one that you fired for having too much of a social life. Remember how you told her, "I don't care what goes on in your life on your time; but while you're on the clock, it's my time." I would normally agree but that poor girl worked 65 hours a week. I feel bad enough for your children so I won't out them by name. This nanny is providing the support to your 'tween daughter' that she needs. You see a child needs someone she can depend on, someone who listens when she asks a question, someone who gives her a hug when she needs it. We all know about your impressive closet, your wardrobe, your diamonds, your social calendar. Frankly, I am not impressed. I have seen others have so much more and still take the time necessary to parent their with child with love and affection. Ya' know? Instead of competing with their own daughter. The complexes you have already given her are clearly evident. But right now, the nanny she has seems to be helping her with all of her- um- your demons. The nanny is normal. She dresses normal, she speaks to the people she meets in a respectful and friendly way and she laughs naturally. She is good natured and smiles a lot. A real smile. Not quite as 'perfect' as yours, but genuine. Now that you are getting the attention you so deeply need, please don't cast another nanny off. Let the nanny help restore your daughter's self esteem, the self esteem you have ripped to shreds.
-UES Anonymous
Dear Bethenny,
I observe your new nanny on a fairly regular basis. I am taking the time to write and tell you she is very good at what she does. I know the last nanny that worked for you, the one that you fired for having too much of a social life. Remember how you told her, "I don't care what goes on in your life on your time; but while you're on the clock, it's my time." I would normally agree but that poor girl worked 65 hours a week. I feel bad enough for your children so I won't out them by name. This nanny is providing the support to your 'tween daughter' that she needs. You see a child needs someone she can depend on, someone who listens when she asks a question, someone who gives her a hug when she needs it. We all know about your impressive closet, your wardrobe, your diamonds, your social calendar. Frankly, I am not impressed. I have seen others have so much more and still take the time necessary to parent their with child with love and affection. Ya' know? Instead of competing with their own daughter. The complexes you have already given her are clearly evident. But right now, the nanny she has seems to be helping her with all of her- um- your demons. The nanny is normal. She dresses normal, she speaks to the people she meets in a respectful and friendly way and she laughs naturally. She is good natured and smiles a lot. A real smile. Not quite as 'perfect' as yours, but genuine. Now that you are getting the attention you so deeply need, please don't cast another nanny off. Let the nanny help restore your daughter's self esteem, the self esteem you have ripped to shreds.
-UES Anonymous
Broome & Thompson in Soho, NY
Received Tuesday, February 18, 2008
Nanny: 40's, short dk. hair, Hispanic, jacket made out of velvet material. Carrying red, Nine West pocketbook on a gold chain. Carrying three bags that I recognized from the La Coste boutique.
Child: Girl, blonde hair, 5 y.o., brown Uggz shoes, jeans tucked in, red jacket.
Event: Nanny was on the phone standing still. Though she could have been talking to her employer, she was neglectful of the child who was literally getting batted around by other people. The girl was in the stream of the walking people. I know the nanny was trying to hear the caller, but I thought it was out of line when the child fell to one leg and the nanny lifted her up by the back of her jacket. It might not have hurt the girl at all. All I could imagine was how a zipper would feel squeezing against a neck. Not the biggest of deals, but still. If she would have just took the child with her against the building and held her hand, none of this would have come up.
Nanny: 40's, short dk. hair, Hispanic, jacket made out of velvet material. Carrying red, Nine West pocketbook on a gold chain. Carrying three bags that I recognized from the La Coste boutique.
Child: Girl, blonde hair, 5 y.o., brown Uggz shoes, jeans tucked in, red jacket.
Event: Nanny was on the phone standing still. Though she could have been talking to her employer, she was neglectful of the child who was literally getting batted around by other people. The girl was in the stream of the walking people. I know the nanny was trying to hear the caller, but I thought it was out of line when the child fell to one leg and the nanny lifted her up by the back of her jacket. It might not have hurt the girl at all. All I could imagine was how a zipper would feel squeezing against a neck. Not the biggest of deals, but still. If she would have just took the child with her against the building and held her hand, none of this would have come up.
Monday
Upper East Side in the 60's, NYC
Received Monday, February 18, 2008
I repeatedly run into a nanny that cares for three children on the Upper East Side in the 60s. The two boys have bright red hair as does their little sister Amelia. One of the boys is named Jack and one of the boys frequently is in a superhero costume of sorts. I have seen the mother as well she has glasses and bright red hair to her shoulders. The nanny leaves the children with other nannies and has asked me twice to watch the baby while she runs upstairs of uses the bathroom. She could bring the stroller with her, but I guess she is trying to make life easier on her. Once she left the baby (when it was maybe only six months) with me and I pulled the stroller sun cover over the baby. She left it staring into the sun. I had NEVER seen the nanny before and didn't understand that she was leaving the area for a few minutes. I wasn't sure what she had said to me before she ran off. One time I was reading a book to my child while we were sitting on a park bench and one of the boys put his head on my shoulder and hand on my breast while I read. I wondered why the nanny didn't get him off of me, but she was on the phone. I wish I would see the mother again. I would love to say something. It's not outright abuse, but the nanny is kind of clued out and irresponsible in my opinion.
I repeatedly run into a nanny that cares for three children on the Upper East Side in the 60s. The two boys have bright red hair as does their little sister Amelia. One of the boys is named Jack and one of the boys frequently is in a superhero costume of sorts. I have seen the mother as well she has glasses and bright red hair to her shoulders. The nanny leaves the children with other nannies and has asked me twice to watch the baby while she runs upstairs of uses the bathroom. She could bring the stroller with her, but I guess she is trying to make life easier on her. Once she left the baby (when it was maybe only six months) with me and I pulled the stroller sun cover over the baby. She left it staring into the sun. I had NEVER seen the nanny before and didn't understand that she was leaving the area for a few minutes. I wasn't sure what she had said to me before she ran off. One time I was reading a book to my child while we were sitting on a park bench and one of the boys put his head on my shoulder and hand on my breast while I read. I wondered why the nanny didn't get him off of me, but she was on the phone. I wish I would see the mother again. I would love to say something. It's not outright abuse, but the nanny is kind of clued out and irresponsible in my opinion.
Sunday
Nanny Asked to Move with the Family...
Received Sunday, February 17, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
Hi! I am a nanny working for a wonderful family who is moving. They have asked me to move with them (I'm not live in, nor will I be). They have always been very generous with me in regards to salary/time off/benefits so I'm not terribly worried about that. . .I am just curious to know if there are other nannies out there who have moved with their families and what I can/should expect and also perhaps anything that I should consider or bring up that they might not be aware of. Also, any helpful hints in helping a child adjust to a new place would be most welcome!! We are already finding it on the map/getting books about the new place/talking about our new friends that we'll make . . .but still, any ideas to make this a very positive experience would be great! Thank you!
Hi! I am a nanny working for a wonderful family who is moving. They have asked me to move with them (I'm not live in, nor will I be). They have always been very generous with me in regards to salary/time off/benefits so I'm not terribly worried about that. . .I am just curious to know if there are other nannies out there who have moved with their families and what I can/should expect and also perhaps anything that I should consider or bring up that they might not be aware of. Also, any helpful hints in helping a child adjust to a new place would be most welcome!! We are already finding it on the map/getting books about the new place/talking about our new friends that we'll make . . .but still, any ideas to make this a very positive experience would be great! Thank you!
Friday
Small Playground at Kowsky Plaza in NYC
Received Friday, February 15, 2008
Hi. I just wanted to let the parents of "Katie" who is blonde and was wearing navy tights and a corduroy pinover that her nanny was mistreating her today, (2/15) while within the grounds of Kowsky Plaza. The nanny was an older woman, possibly Polish (guessing at her accent), with brown and gray hair worn in a bun. She was dressed in slacks, a ski vest and a tan turtleneck. This nanny was very shrill with the child and at one time grabbed her arm very hard with her whole hand wrapped around it twice and scolded her. She had grabbed the child so hard that when she let go the whole child's body fell away. I heard the child called Katie and I was hoping to note someone who knew this child or her parents. Katie was wearing children's dress shoes, blue with a buckle. I don't know why "Katie" was disciplined. She spent most of her time playing alone, but at one point had approached a female child who was about 4 and attempted to befriend her. From my observation point, it appeared that is why the nanny got up and stormed over to her. (??) Honestly, it is hard to know what was going on there, but the grabbing of the child was very harsh.
Hi. I just wanted to let the parents of "Katie" who is blonde and was wearing navy tights and a corduroy pinover that her nanny was mistreating her today, (2/15) while within the grounds of Kowsky Plaza. The nanny was an older woman, possibly Polish (guessing at her accent), with brown and gray hair worn in a bun. She was dressed in slacks, a ski vest and a tan turtleneck. This nanny was very shrill with the child and at one time grabbed her arm very hard with her whole hand wrapped around it twice and scolded her. She had grabbed the child so hard that when she let go the whole child's body fell away. I heard the child called Katie and I was hoping to note someone who knew this child or her parents. Katie was wearing children's dress shoes, blue with a buckle. I don't know why "Katie" was disciplined. She spent most of her time playing alone, but at one point had approached a female child who was about 4 and attempted to befriend her. From my observation point, it appeared that is why the nanny got up and stormed over to her. (??) Honestly, it is hard to know what was going on there, but the grabbing of the child was very harsh.
McDonalds in Westwood, CA
Received Friday, February 15, 2008
Physical description of caregiver: Mexican American Nanny between the ages of 25-30, approximate 5'2, 120 lbs, medium brown hair, brown eyes. Nanny was dressed in a white sweater, cargo pants and brown tennis shoes.
Physical description of involved child/children: Three Caucasian boys. Approximately 2, 5 & 7/8 or thereabouts. The youngest child had blonde hair, the other two boys had brown hair. The youngest child wore his hair longer, the middle boy had a buzz cut, and the oldest boy had thick, fairly long hair. The oldest boy was wearing an orange shirt with a brown collar. It had long sleeves and one white stripe across the chest. The boys were well dressed, and very energetic. I noticed them when they passed by the window of the restaurant, and thought to myself, 'those are some good looking boys'.
Address or venue of observed incident: McDonald's in Westwood, On Santa Monica, off Beverly Glen.
Date and time of incident: Yesterday, (2/14) at 12:30 PM, I think. (I should have written this yesterday.)
Detailed description of what you witnessed: The nanny allowed the two older boys to sit together, which would have been fine had she supervised them in any capacity. She sat at the table, with the youngest child. The nanny was reading a paperback book while with her fingers picking at a hamburger that was on the table and without even looking, she was feeding it to the child. She would pull of part of the bun and the burger and somewhat roll it together between her fingers and then put it in front of the youngest boy. While still reading, she would reach in and take a french fry, put in her mouth, like a cigarette and then pull it out, breaking off the part that had been in her mouth and give it to the child. This was disturbing enough, but this is not the problem. The older boys were sitting next to us, behind us, sitting directly behind my girlfriend, I was facing them. While we were eating our meal, a piece of ice came sailing over onto our table. The boys cracked up laughing and I did nothing, not yet. The boys were loud, obnoxious and chewing with their mouth open and making childish jokes about seafood. The nanny paid no mind to them. She continued to read her book, absently feeding the young child the food that was soaked in her saliva. A french free came flying over the table and landed in my friend's salad. At that same time, I made eye contact with the child who I could see, the oldest and gave him a stern look and said, "could you not do that?". They were quiet for two minutes before spilling an enormous soda underneath their table that flooded underneath our table. This caused them to erupt in laughter again. Instead of cleaning it up, one of them at least began to tap his feet in it or march in place, splattering it further towards the back of my friend's ankles. At that point, I stood up, caught the attention of about 4 surrounding tables who all looked at me, waiting to see what I would say and then finally the nanny who looked up quizzically. I said, "you need to do something about this". The nanny looked at me, looked at the boys, the floor, the mess on the table and said to me, "I try and I try with these kids and their parents teach them no manners". Yes, that was her response. It had nothing to do with the total lack of supervision or interaction, or her absorption in her novel. It was of course, the parents fault. The nanny made a half ass attempt at cleaning up the table, and was soon helped by a worker with a bucket. No dount because of the glares of other customers, she gathered the children and left.
Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: I noticed they drove out of the parking lot in gold Isuzu Rodeo about 4 minutes later.
Physical description of caregiver: Mexican American Nanny between the ages of 25-30, approximate 5'2, 120 lbs, medium brown hair, brown eyes. Nanny was dressed in a white sweater, cargo pants and brown tennis shoes.
Physical description of involved child/children: Three Caucasian boys. Approximately 2, 5 & 7/8 or thereabouts. The youngest child had blonde hair, the other two boys had brown hair. The youngest child wore his hair longer, the middle boy had a buzz cut, and the oldest boy had thick, fairly long hair. The oldest boy was wearing an orange shirt with a brown collar. It had long sleeves and one white stripe across the chest. The boys were well dressed, and very energetic. I noticed them when they passed by the window of the restaurant, and thought to myself, 'those are some good looking boys'.
Address or venue of observed incident: McDonald's in Westwood, On Santa Monica, off Beverly Glen.
Date and time of incident: Yesterday, (2/14) at 12:30 PM, I think. (I should have written this yesterday.)
Detailed description of what you witnessed: The nanny allowed the two older boys to sit together, which would have been fine had she supervised them in any capacity. She sat at the table, with the youngest child. The nanny was reading a paperback book while with her fingers picking at a hamburger that was on the table and without even looking, she was feeding it to the child. She would pull of part of the bun and the burger and somewhat roll it together between her fingers and then put it in front of the youngest boy. While still reading, she would reach in and take a french fry, put in her mouth, like a cigarette and then pull it out, breaking off the part that had been in her mouth and give it to the child. This was disturbing enough, but this is not the problem. The older boys were sitting next to us, behind us, sitting directly behind my girlfriend, I was facing them. While we were eating our meal, a piece of ice came sailing over onto our table. The boys cracked up laughing and I did nothing, not yet. The boys were loud, obnoxious and chewing with their mouth open and making childish jokes about seafood. The nanny paid no mind to them. She continued to read her book, absently feeding the young child the food that was soaked in her saliva. A french free came flying over the table and landed in my friend's salad. At that same time, I made eye contact with the child who I could see, the oldest and gave him a stern look and said, "could you not do that?". They were quiet for two minutes before spilling an enormous soda underneath their table that flooded underneath our table. This caused them to erupt in laughter again. Instead of cleaning it up, one of them at least began to tap his feet in it or march in place, splattering it further towards the back of my friend's ankles. At that point, I stood up, caught the attention of about 4 surrounding tables who all looked at me, waiting to see what I would say and then finally the nanny who looked up quizzically. I said, "you need to do something about this". The nanny looked at me, looked at the boys, the floor, the mess on the table and said to me, "I try and I try with these kids and their parents teach them no manners". Yes, that was her response. It had nothing to do with the total lack of supervision or interaction, or her absorption in her novel. It was of course, the parents fault. The nanny made a half ass attempt at cleaning up the table, and was soon helped by a worker with a bucket. No dount because of the glares of other customers, she gathered the children and left.
Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: I noticed they drove out of the parking lot in gold Isuzu Rodeo about 4 minutes later.
Thursday
Getting Very Close to the Last Straw
Received Thursday, February 14, 2008-Rant
I am a nanny with excellent references and great with the kids. I work for a family that started out very respectful and great towards me, as a result I was always there for them. Work early, work elate, work extra. Always. Never said no.
Now they are taking advantage.
As I write this, the dinner my husband and children prepared for me as a Valentine's treat is growing cold. Why? Because the parents can't be bothered to come home even a half hour late anymore. Now, it's more like an hour or two late. They used to call and ask if it was OK, if I could work late. I guess I said yes too many times because now they call AFTER they are already 40minutes late to tell me they won't be home until much later. When they hired me, I explained that I had my own family and it was very important to me. I chose to work for this family because we seemed to share the same ideals about the value of family time. Now I see more of their kids than I do my own and they never see their kids except on weekends! I have spoken to them, pleaded with them and already gave a month's notice once before. They gave me a nice raise and promised they wouldn't do it again. Everything was back to the way it was for a few months but now its right back to the same crap. The worst part is the kids and I are very attached to each other and it is going to be hard when I leave, but this time I am leaving no matter what they or the kids say. Right now, after typing this, I am doing something I NEVER would ever have dreamed of doing. Using the down time I have and my employer's computer to search for a new nanny position.
Parents, let this be a lesson. If you get a great nanny don't take advantage of us! You will only make it difficult on your kids because we tend to hang around longer than we should out of love for your kids and then they get more attached. We also leave on bad tems without caring about you or even your kids once pushed beyond our limit. Now, when I find a position I will start when they need me to start, with little or no notice if need be. It really hurts me to have to be like this and it's going to be hard to just leave the kids this way but I have been pushed to it. It's just as hard to hear my son ask me if he will see me tonight before he falls asleep and I tell him I hope so but know he won't.
Thanks, selfish parents, for also teaching me to be a hard ass when it comes to how far I will go for my next family.
The next time you guys see a lazy, uninterested nanny remember my post. I wonder how many bad nannies have been pushed to act that way because they are disrespected and treated like dirt. I know I would never be abusive or neglectful to any child but I am certainly not the nanny I was and will probably never be that way again. This is the second family that has taken advantage of my good nature but it will definitely be the last.
Thanks for letting me rant.
I am a nanny with excellent references and great with the kids. I work for a family that started out very respectful and great towards me, as a result I was always there for them. Work early, work elate, work extra. Always. Never said no.
Now they are taking advantage.
As I write this, the dinner my husband and children prepared for me as a Valentine's treat is growing cold. Why? Because the parents can't be bothered to come home even a half hour late anymore. Now, it's more like an hour or two late. They used to call and ask if it was OK, if I could work late. I guess I said yes too many times because now they call AFTER they are already 40minutes late to tell me they won't be home until much later. When they hired me, I explained that I had my own family and it was very important to me. I chose to work for this family because we seemed to share the same ideals about the value of family time. Now I see more of their kids than I do my own and they never see their kids except on weekends! I have spoken to them, pleaded with them and already gave a month's notice once before. They gave me a nice raise and promised they wouldn't do it again. Everything was back to the way it was for a few months but now its right back to the same crap. The worst part is the kids and I are very attached to each other and it is going to be hard when I leave, but this time I am leaving no matter what they or the kids say. Right now, after typing this, I am doing something I NEVER would ever have dreamed of doing. Using the down time I have and my employer's computer to search for a new nanny position.
Parents, let this be a lesson. If you get a great nanny don't take advantage of us! You will only make it difficult on your kids because we tend to hang around longer than we should out of love for your kids and then they get more attached. We also leave on bad tems without caring about you or even your kids once pushed beyond our limit. Now, when I find a position I will start when they need me to start, with little or no notice if need be. It really hurts me to have to be like this and it's going to be hard to just leave the kids this way but I have been pushed to it. It's just as hard to hear my son ask me if he will see me tonight before he falls asleep and I tell him I hope so but know he won't.
Thanks, selfish parents, for also teaching me to be a hard ass when it comes to how far I will go for my next family.
The next time you guys see a lazy, uninterested nanny remember my post. I wonder how many bad nannies have been pushed to act that way because they are disrespected and treated like dirt. I know I would never be abusive or neglectful to any child but I am certainly not the nanny I was and will probably never be that way again. This is the second family that has taken advantage of my good nature but it will definitely be the last.
Thanks for letting me rant.
Recently she started saying she doesn't love or like her mom...
Received Thursday, February 14, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I am a nanny for a couple that is going through a divorce. Their daughter, who is two and a half, always goes around saying she loves stuff, be it me, her dad, her mom, a plant, etc. Recently she started saying she doesn't love or like her mom, I asked her why she said that, and her response was that Daddy told her to say it. She always acts normal around both parents, never plays favoritism, or anything. Yet now she is saying these things. Should I let the mother know that I thing the father is coaching the child to say these thing? Or just leave it be?
~Memphis Nanny~
I am a nanny for a couple that is going through a divorce. Their daughter, who is two and a half, always goes around saying she loves stuff, be it me, her dad, her mom, a plant, etc. Recently she started saying she doesn't love or like her mom, I asked her why she said that, and her response was that Daddy told her to say it. She always acts normal around both parents, never plays favoritism, or anything. Yet now she is saying these things. Should I let the mother know that I thing the father is coaching the child to say these thing? Or just leave it be?
~Memphis Nanny~
Wednesday
Tuesday
Graduate Student ISO Nanny Employers
Received Tuesday, February 12, 2008
I am a graduate student working on my dissertation. I am looking to interview parents who employ a live-out nanny. My study has a few requirements: Nannies must be over 18 years of age, must not have children of their own, and must have been born in the U.S. My restrictions are in no way meant to be discriminatory, they are a way to make my research is new and different from previous research that has been done. (Research has already extensively examined L-I, immigrant nannies,and nannies with their own children).If you live in Connecticut or in Westchester County and you would be interested in doing an interview with me I would greatly appreciate it. The interview will take place in a location of your choice and participants will be given $20 to compensate for their time. If you would like to participate or would like additional information please contact me at LB5523@albany.edu.
Thank you so much!
Laura
I am a graduate student working on my dissertation. I am looking to interview parents who employ a live-out nanny. My study has a few requirements: Nannies must be over 18 years of age, must not have children of their own, and must have been born in the U.S. My restrictions are in no way meant to be discriminatory, they are a way to make my research is new and different from previous research that has been done. (Research has already extensively examined L-I, immigrant nannies,and nannies with their own children).If you live in Connecticut or in Westchester County and you would be interested in doing an interview with me I would greatly appreciate it. The interview will take place in a location of your choice and participants will be given $20 to compensate for their time. If you would like to participate or would like additional information please contact me at LB5523@albany.edu.
Thank you so much!
Laura
Willing to tolerate what?
Received Tuesday, February 12, 2008- Perpective & Opinion
As an employer who is struggling with adapting to our second nanny in four months, I would like to know what imperfect behavior other employers are willing to tolerate from their nanny. The idea of transitioning another nanny into this house is not at all appealing.
As an employer who is struggling with adapting to our second nanny in four months, I would like to know what imperfect behavior other employers are willing to tolerate from their nanny. The idea of transitioning another nanny into this house is not at all appealing.
Toys R Us in Times Square, NYC
Received Tuesday, February 12, 2008
This is not major, just disconcerting. Saw a nanny with two children today. Both boys. One boy in a blue ski jacket with grey snow boots on. The other boy in a stroller with a blue fleece hat that latched under his jaw. The nanny was wearing a long black jacket with north face written on the back. The kids were white with olive skin and brown hair. The nanny was black with hair pulled up into a tight, small bun. She had a large gap between her two front teeth. (Not critisizing anyone's appearance, just hoping to help identify). The trip looked to be sort of a time killer as they browsed the aisle sans shopping cart and just milled around. The little boy was looking at thing, picking them up and talking about them. The baby in the stroller was crying. All I heard the whole time I was in the store was that nanny saying *Be Quiet*, *Enough*, *Quiet* and this was said with anger. The baby was only about 5-6 months! The older boy was 3ish. The nanny must have told the child to *Be Quiet* 50 times. She had a real serious tone with her voice, I'd have thought her to be addressing unruly teens. If this is your nanny, you just might want to set up a camera and see how she treats that baby when she is alone with him and he cries.
This is not major, just disconcerting. Saw a nanny with two children today. Both boys. One boy in a blue ski jacket with grey snow boots on. The other boy in a stroller with a blue fleece hat that latched under his jaw. The nanny was wearing a long black jacket with north face written on the back. The kids were white with olive skin and brown hair. The nanny was black with hair pulled up into a tight, small bun. She had a large gap between her two front teeth. (Not critisizing anyone's appearance, just hoping to help identify). The trip looked to be sort of a time killer as they browsed the aisle sans shopping cart and just milled around. The little boy was looking at thing, picking them up and talking about them. The baby in the stroller was crying. All I heard the whole time I was in the store was that nanny saying *Be Quiet*, *Enough*, *Quiet* and this was said with anger. The baby was only about 5-6 months! The older boy was 3ish. The nanny must have told the child to *Be Quiet* 50 times. She had a real serious tone with her voice, I'd have thought her to be addressing unruly teens. If this is your nanny, you just might want to set up a camera and see how she treats that baby when she is alone with him and he cries.
Monday
LA Fitness Kids Club in Evanston, IL
Received Monday, February 11, 2008-DAYCARE Warnings
I would like to alert people using or thinking of using the LA Fitness Kids Club in downtown Evanston, IL. I called their corporate headquarters first, since their local management is a joke, and got nowhere. I had read unfavorable things about the Kids Club online, but I went in there one day to scope it out,thinking about it as an occasional option for my 7-month old. It was worse than anything I'd read. The snippy woman running the place was breastfeeding her child with NO backup. Children, including infants,were all around the room with zero supervision. I stood there, waiting for some explanation, a welcome--anything. She stared at me in silence, didn't say a word. A man walked in to drop off his child and she greeted him by saying, "This is my baby, by the way." (Well I would hope a baby on the breast IS your baby.) She went on to say to the man, about his young child, "He can crawl around, I am tied up at the moment." I stood there for another minute or so, was horrified and left. I would like to be anonymous but people may email me -through Jane- with any questions. Thank you for getting this out!
I would like to alert people using or thinking of using the LA Fitness Kids Club in downtown Evanston, IL. I called their corporate headquarters first, since their local management is a joke, and got nowhere. I had read unfavorable things about the Kids Club online, but I went in there one day to scope it out,thinking about it as an occasional option for my 7-month old. It was worse than anything I'd read. The snippy woman running the place was breastfeeding her child with NO backup. Children, including infants,were all around the room with zero supervision. I stood there, waiting for some explanation, a welcome--anything. She stared at me in silence, didn't say a word. A man walked in to drop off his child and she greeted him by saying, "This is my baby, by the way." (Well I would hope a baby on the breast IS your baby.) She went on to say to the man, about his young child, "He can crawl around, I am tied up at the moment." I stood there for another minute or so, was horrified and left. I would like to be anonymous but people may email me -through Jane- with any questions. Thank you for getting this out!
Saturday
Kid's Playground in Woburn/Boston, MA
Received Sunday, February 10, 2008
This could have been a stepmother, but after speaking to her, I am more inclined to THINK it was a nanny. Here is what happened. I was at Kid's (indoor) Playground at around 11:30 AMthis yesterday morning, (2/9). I witnessed three individuals in action. The first individual was a girl of about 8 years old who was heavy set,brown hair, wearing a pink cardigan and blue jeans with a Pucci colored headband. The second was a child of about 4 or 5 who was all dolled up. Her hair looked as if it had been set in ringlets. She had lighter hair and was wearing a sequin nylon jacket with a roller skate on it. She had on print tights and struck me as kind of 'glammed up' for a child of her age. The third individual was the adult supervising the two. She was a white woman with no accent, sharp features, hair parted on the side and long, wearing a brown leather jacket, black pants and black boots. I would estimate her age at 35-39.
They were sitting at a red table. They sat down with their food right next to us. The adult didn't have food but the two children did. The little girl didn't like her food so she wanted to try the 8 year old's pizza. The 8 year old moved hers away and the adult oinked at her. Oinked at her. Then the 5 yr old started oinking at her too and calling her a pig. The 8 yr old looked hurt, said she wasn't a pig and offered to share with the 5 year old. The five year old decided she wanted the whole piece of pizza and the 8 year old could have hers. The 8 year old started to say it wasn't fair. She said something like, "but she picked that". Then the adult did this big long snort in, a long drawn out oink. I thought it was pretty reprehensible, but did nothing at this point.
1/2 hour or so later I was nearing the rock wall with my 7 year old. The 8 year old girl was off to one side while the 5 year old was holding the adult's hand. The adult whispered something to the 5 yr old and she went skipping over to the 8 year old and said, "I have to tell you something". The 5 yr old got the 8 yr old to lean down, when she leaned down, her hair fell forward and the 5 year old pulled on it, no yanked on it. The 5 year old started laughing (one of the worst child's laughs I have ever heard in my life). The 8 year old had a look on her face that was like 'how much more do I have to take'. Seriously sad. I was now within five feet of the adult who said at that time, "oh poor baby", in a mocking way with a smile on her face.
I don't say anything to the adult. The five year old is now back at her feet. I give the adult my death glare. She looks at me and says, "Problem".
I say, "Excuse me".
She says, "Do you have a problem?"
I stumble. Not expecting this. I say, "No, no problem. I just don't find your humor at all amusing"
She says, "Oh is that a fact".
I just smile. My daughter is now half in and half out a tunnel. She looks at my daughter's backside and says, "Oh I can see why you wouldn't". My daughter is about 1o pounds overweight. I didn't say anything. I have to admit I wasn't expecting that and while I wish I would have had a snappy retort for her nasty comment, I didn't.
But if you employ this VILE, VILE person, please fire her. And fire her in such a way that it hurts.
And if this woman is the stepmom to your child, well best of luck WITH THAT.
This could have been a stepmother, but after speaking to her, I am more inclined to THINK it was a nanny. Here is what happened. I was at Kid's (indoor) Playground at around 11:30 AM
They were sitting at a red table. They sat down with their food right next to us. The adult didn't have food but the two children did. The little girl didn't like her food so she wanted to try the 8 year old's pizza. The 8 year old moved hers away and the adult oinked at her. Oinked at her. Then the 5 yr old started oinking at her too and calling her a pig. The 8 yr old looked hurt, said she wasn't a pig and offered to share with the 5 year old. The five year old decided she wanted the whole piece of pizza and the 8 year old could have hers. The 8 year old started to say it wasn't fair. She said something like, "but she picked that". Then the adult did this big long snort in, a long drawn out oink. I thought it was pretty reprehensible, but did nothing at this point.
1/2 hour or so later I was nearing the rock wall with my 7 year old. The 8 year old girl was off to one side while the 5 year old was holding the adult's hand. The adult whispered something to the 5 yr old and she went skipping over to the 8 year old and said, "I have to tell you something". The 5 yr old got the 8 yr old to lean down, when she leaned down, her hair fell forward and the 5 year old pulled on it, no yanked on it. The 5 year old started laughing (one of the worst child's laughs I have ever heard in my life). The 8 year old had a look on her face that was like 'how much more do I have to take'. Seriously sad. I was now within five feet of the adult who said at that time, "oh poor baby", in a mocking way with a smile on her face.
I don't say anything to the adult. The five year old is now back at her feet. I give the adult my death glare. She looks at me and says, "Problem".
I say, "Excuse me".
She says, "Do you have a problem?"
I stumble. Not expecting this. I say, "No, no problem. I just don't find your humor at all amusing"
She says, "Oh is that a fact".
I just smile. My daughter is now half in and half out a tunnel. She looks at my daughter's backside and says, "Oh I can see why you wouldn't". My daughter is about 1o pounds overweight. I didn't say anything. I have to admit I wasn't expecting that and while I wish I would have had a snappy retort for her nasty comment, I didn't.
But if you employ this VILE, VILE person, please fire her. And fire her in such a way that it hurts.
And if this woman is the stepmom to your child, well best of luck WITH THAT.
Thursday
Safari Playground in Central Park
Received Thursday, February 7, 2008
Hi. I just wanted to make mention of something I saw earlier this afternoon today, (1/7). It was about 3 in the afternoon and I was with my son when I noticed a young Polish nanny or au pair arrive at the playground. She was frenzied in her pace. She took off the child's outer jacket. And she literally plopped the child in front of a hippo and took her picture with the hippo. I didn't pay much attention but her phone rang about 30 seconds later. The caller seemed to be the child's mother. The nanny/au pair reported to the mother that it was getting colder by the minute and that "Ruby" was pretty worn out so they were just about to leave the park. The nanny/au pair was putting on the child's outer jacket as she was talking to her. The child was under 3 with dark hair cut very blunt in back. She was wearing a white ski jacket over a blue and white denim jacket with embroidery. She was also wearing little boots that had tie ups over the boot. The boots were tan and the tie up was a dark brown. The girl's name was Ruby. The nanny was pin thin and had a fairly plain but attractive face. The call was clearly made with the intent to deceive the child's mother, not too mention the way she dragged that child around was really unnecessary! Nanny wearing black north face jacket and had light brown hair.
Hi. I just wanted to make mention of something I saw earlier this afternoon today, (1/7). It was about 3 in the afternoon and I was with my son when I noticed a young Polish nanny or au pair arrive at the playground. She was frenzied in her pace. She took off the child's outer jacket. And she literally plopped the child in front of a hippo and took her picture with the hippo. I didn't pay much attention but her phone rang about 30 seconds later. The caller seemed to be the child's mother. The nanny/au pair reported to the mother that it was getting colder by the minute and that "Ruby" was pretty worn out so they were just about to leave the park. The nanny/au pair was putting on the child's outer jacket as she was talking to her. The child was under 3 with dark hair cut very blunt in back. She was wearing a white ski jacket over a blue and white denim jacket with embroidery. She was also wearing little boots that had tie ups over the boot. The boots were tan and the tie up was a dark brown. The girl's name was Ruby. The nanny was pin thin and had a fairly plain but attractive face. The call was clearly made with the intent to deceive the child's mother, not too mention the way she dragged that child around was really unnecessary! Nanny wearing black north face jacket and had light brown hair.
Part Time Nanny Needs Her Reference
Received Thursday, February 7, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
Question for mommies: I am a part time nanny working a couple days a week. The family I work for has gone through some recent drama and the kids have been really acting out. I've been working with the mom to get on the same page with tantrums, etc. However, the kids have recently developed severe separations anxiety from their moms, to the point that they actually get angry when I come over. The oldest doesn't speak to me and the youngest has meltdowns over the slightest thing. I have been keeping the mom abreast of everything, but now I really don't think my few hours a week is worth this turmoil. I am seriously considering quitting. My question is, should I be honest about why I'm quitting? Or will that affect my reference?
Question for mommies: I am a part time nanny working a couple days a week. The family I work for has gone through some recent drama and the kids have been really acting out. I've been working with the mom to get on the same page with tantrums, etc. However, the kids have recently developed severe separations anxiety from their moms, to the point that they actually get angry when I come over. The oldest doesn't speak to me and the youngest has meltdowns over the slightest thing. I have been keeping the mom abreast of everything, but now I really don't think my few hours a week is worth this turmoil. I am seriously considering quitting. My question is, should I be honest about why I'm quitting? Or will that affect my reference?
Stop N Shop on River Street in Providence, RI
Received Thursday, February 7, 2008
Physical description of caregiver: Petite, bi racial (part Hispanic), wearing a white nylon jacket with hood up, tight jeans with no pockets and trendy looking tennis.
Physical description of involved child/children: Boy between 2.5-3.5, Anglo, reddish hair, orange corduroy pants, striped shirt, cammie jacket.
Address or venue of observed incident: Stop N Shop on West River Street in Providence -leaving the store with the cart and in the parking lot when this happened.
Date and time of incident: Weds. 2/7
Detailed description of what you witnessed: Nanny was pushing cart and talking on her cellphone. Boy was traveling about 15 feet behind her. Boy falls down. Boy starts to cry. Boy cries for nanny to stop. Boy is angry. He yells at the nanny and tells her 'you were supposed to be holding my hand'. Nanny looks around sneakily and says "I was holding your hand. I am holding your hand'. Nanny starts to hold the child's hand. The child shoos it away and continues crying. The nanny keeps saying over and over that she was holding his hand. Over and over.
Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: Nanny had big jug of tide in a purple bottle in front of cart and was talking on a cell phone that had a metallic cell phone case that reflected the light like a prism.
I'm just curious here, why couldn't the nanny say 'you're right I should have been. I'm sorry. Here let me see, are you okay'. Nannies spend so much time doing damage control over all of these wee neglectful things, how do parents ever know what is what or what happened?
Physical description of caregiver: Petite, bi racial (part Hispanic), wearing a white nylon jacket with hood up, tight jeans with no pockets and trendy looking tennis.
Physical description of involved child/children: Boy between 2.5-3.5, Anglo, reddish hair, orange corduroy pants, striped shirt, cammie jacket.
Address or venue of observed incident: Stop N Shop on West River Street in Providence -leaving the store with the cart and in the parking lot when this happened.
Date and time of incident: Weds. 2/7
Detailed description of what you witnessed: Nanny was pushing cart and talking on her cellphone. Boy was traveling about 15 feet behind her. Boy falls down. Boy starts to cry. Boy cries for nanny to stop. Boy is angry. He yells at the nanny and tells her 'you were supposed to be holding my hand'. Nanny looks around sneakily and says "I was holding your hand. I am holding your hand'. Nanny starts to hold the child's hand. The child shoos it away and continues crying. The nanny keeps saying over and over that she was holding his hand. Over and over.
Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: Nanny had big jug of tide in a purple bottle in front of cart and was talking on a cell phone that had a metallic cell phone case that reflected the light like a prism.
I'm just curious here, why couldn't the nanny say 'you're right I should have been. I'm sorry. Here let me see, are you okay'. Nannies spend so much time doing damage control over all of these wee neglectful things, how do parents ever know what is what or what happened?
Wednesday
Winter Garden at WFC in NYC
Follow up:
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I'm the father of the child in this case. I met with the OP and got more details about the observed behavior. After combining what we learned from the posts with some others' observations about the nanny, my wife and I decided to stop using her services. She is not a bad person, and indeed I think anyone would find her to be sweet and hard working, but it became clear that she was behaving differently when in our presence than when out with the child on her own -- and that is not something we would have noticed without an outside observer speaking up. (Speaking up twice in fact. The first post had no pictures and we probably would never have seen it. Fortunately, the OP's persistence, combined with the site's notariety, eventually brought this to our attention. Thankfully isawyournanny.blogspot.com is a place where a person can feel safe enough to be so persistent.) Again, my wife and I want to convey our extreme gratitude, to the OP and to the people who maintain and use this site. It put us on alert and prompted us to investigate, and as a result helped us quickly end some disappointing circumstances that would otherwise have taken much longer to discover.
Original Post: Received Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I posted about this nanny a few weeks ago--in regards to eating the snack and completely ignoring the child. In that case, a man who was sitting near the nanny and the little girl said something to the nanny.
I have since seen the nanny and her charge twice in the Winter Garden at WFC. Each time, it's the same. It's 75-degrees inside and this child is always bundled up and ignored. The nanny has her coat off and is often fanning herself b/c it does get warm in there. The nanny NEVER makes eye contact or speaks to the child, despite her attempts. This child has the most upsetting look on her face--every time she tries to talk to nanny and is ignored, she sinks back into her stroller and just looks forlorn or like she's resigned to the fact that there's no hope in getting nanny's attention. I typically see them around 3pm, but today I saw them between 2:10and 2:30. I stood nearby for at least 10 minutes on my way to the drug store. The nanny was either eating the whole time, ignoring the child who would alternate between trying to get her attention and giving up. When she wasn't eating, she was staring off in space. Other kids and their nannies were playing nearby but this nanny literally just sits there and looks annoyed or indifferent to the child. Annoyed when she's trying to get nanny's attention. Indifferent the rest of the time. I have not ONCE seen her interact with this child. Even today, when she actually spoke to the child (to tell her no when she reached for the nanny's piece of fruit) she did not even look at her. This time, I had my cell, with camera, on me and got these photos.
(The photos were edited on 2/6/08 to hide the nanny's identity.)
I know some readers of this site will say that I only see her for short periods and perhaps she's wonderful with the child most of the time. But I am telling you, I'm a mom too and there's something wrong here. I've seen the same thing over and over with this nanny and child and it's just the feeling I get from watching this nanny and the child's useless attempts to get the nanny to care or talk to her or even acknowledge her. I see a lot of other nannies in WFC and while I'm not sure you'd say they're all great, but most of them at least interact and seem to care. This nanny does neither. If she were my child I would be heartbroken to see this; she's not mine and it's hard not to feel that way. PLEASE, if you know this nanny's employer's, please direct them to this site.
Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I'm the father of the child in this case. I met with the OP and got more details about the observed behavior. After combining what we learned from the posts with some others' observations about the nanny, my wife and I decided to stop using her services. She is not a bad person, and indeed I think anyone would find her to be sweet and hard working, but it became clear that she was behaving differently when in our presence than when out with the child on her own -- and that is not something we would have noticed without an outside observer speaking up. (Speaking up twice in fact. The first post had no pictures and we probably would never have seen it. Fortunately, the OP's persistence, combined with the site's notariety, eventually brought this to our attention. Thankfully isawyournanny.blogspot.com is a place where a person can feel safe enough to be so persistent.) Again, my wife and I want to convey our extreme gratitude, to the OP and to the people who maintain and use this site. It put us on alert and prompted us to investigate, and as a result helped us quickly end some disappointing circumstances that would otherwise have taken much longer to discover.
Original Post: Received Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I posted about this nanny a few weeks ago--in regards to eating the snack and completely ignoring the child. In that case, a man who was sitting near the nanny and the little girl said something to the nanny.
I have since seen the nanny and her charge twice in the Winter Garden at WFC. Each time, it's the same. It's 75-degrees inside and this child is always bundled up and ignored. The nanny has her coat off and is often fanning herself b/c it does get warm in there. The nanny NEVER makes eye contact or speaks to the child, despite her attempts. This child has the most upsetting look on her face--every time she tries to talk to nanny and is ignored, she sinks back into her stroller and just looks forlorn or like she's resigned to the fact that there's no hope in getting nanny's attention. I typically see them around 3pm, but today I saw them between 2:10and 2:30. I stood nearby for at least 10 minutes on my way to the drug store. The nanny was either eating the whole time, ignoring the child who would alternate between trying to get her attention and giving up. When she wasn't eating, she was staring off in space. Other kids and their nannies were playing nearby but this nanny literally just sits there and looks annoyed or indifferent to the child. Annoyed when she's trying to get nanny's attention. Indifferent the rest of the time. I have not ONCE seen her interact with this child. Even today, when she actually spoke to the child (to tell her no when she reached for the nanny's piece of fruit) she did not even look at her. This time, I had my cell, with camera, on me and got these photos.
(The photos were edited on 2/6/08 to hide the nanny's identity.)
I know some readers of this site will say that I only see her for short periods and perhaps she's wonderful with the child most of the time. But I am telling you, I'm a mom too and there's something wrong here. I've seen the same thing over and over with this nanny and child and it's just the feeling I get from watching this nanny and the child's useless attempts to get the nanny to care or talk to her or even acknowledge her. I see a lot of other nannies in WFC and while I'm not sure you'd say they're all great, but most of them at least interact and seem to care. This nanny does neither. If she were my child I would be heartbroken to see this; she's not mine and it's hard not to feel that way. PLEASE, if you know this nanny's employer's, please direct them to this site.
Screwing with the Nanny's Taxes...
Received Wednesday, February 6, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I have a tax question. I worked for Family A for 6 months as a nanny. I now work for Family B. Family A sent me a 1099 which lists me as a independent contractor. Family B had a completed W2 form. I need to know how I should file my taxes, what my recourse is against Family A (who has ignored my phone calls and emails), etc. I had no idea they planned to bill me as an independent contractor (I made more than $10,000) and I have no idea what to do next. Thanks.
I have a tax question. I worked for Family A for 6 months as a nanny. I now work for Family B. Family A sent me a 1099 which lists me as a independent contractor. Family B had a completed W2 form. I need to know how I should file my taxes, what my recourse is against Family A (who has ignored my phone calls and emails), etc. I had no idea they planned to bill me as an independent contractor (I made more than $10,000) and I have no idea what to do next. Thanks.
Nanny Seeks Advice on Vacation Issue...
Received Wednesday, February 6, 2008-Perspective & Opinion
I was writing to see if I could get some advice on how to deal with vacations and my family. I'm a nanny of 6 months, and within the first 2 months of my job my family took me on a trip with them. Granted, it wasn't really a vacation, but to go to an extended family members wedding across the country. Those 5 days registered as some of the worst 5 days of my life. The kids were still "testing" me because I was new, so they pushed all of my limits and acted atrocious, and the parents had me with the family at ALL times. I was also incredibly sick with a cold, and at a family function where I knew no one and felt completely awkward and out of place. Granted, I was compensated monetarily and very nicely at that, but I feel that the boundaries were pushed. This family is very well to do, and they asked that I not only share a room with the kids, but a bed with one of the children. At the time, I was incredibly annoyed, but didn't think there was much to do about it. Now I know that on a regular basis, the children sleep with the parents at home. I don't understand why they couldn't have at least made one of the children sleep with them so that I could at least have my own bed. I had also specifically asked for an aisle seat on the plane because I get incredibly sick on them, and they stuck me in a window seat in a 3 seat aisle, smothered by one of the children and the father. The only alone time I was granted was 1 extra hour on second to last morning to sleep in while they went to eat breakfast. I think they finally realized I was completely drained, and more sick than when we first came b/c obviously I didn't get a chance to rest. As you can see, it was a horrible trip, and I can't think of one joyful moment. At home the family is incredible. I love the children so much I could burst, and the parents are so willing to help me and offer advice. I really do appreciate them. I just don't think vacationing with them is such a good idea anymore. This summer they'll be spending a vast amount of time at their summer house which is a good distance from our normal residence. They've asked me to spend 2 weeks with them, which I really don't have a choice in. I'm really concerned about how to handle it, and how or IF to talk to the parents about it. I know that not only will I be there, but 7 members of their extended family, and another guest or two, will be staying there. Do I have the right to ask for my own room? I don't want to get stuck sleeping in the children's room (again) but it's a possibility with this many people. All of the other guests already have designated rooms, but I don't think I do. I've asked and the reply was that they don't know where to "put" me yet. How do I voice this concern? And what should I do to ensure I don't spend another two weeks feeling suffocated and miserable?
I was writing to see if I could get some advice on how to deal with vacations and my family. I'm a nanny of 6 months, and within the first 2 months of my job my family took me on a trip with them. Granted, it wasn't really a vacation, but to go to an extended family members wedding across the country. Those 5 days registered as some of the worst 5 days of my life. The kids were still "testing" me because I was new, so they pushed all of my limits and acted atrocious, and the parents had me with the family at ALL times. I was also incredibly sick with a cold, and at a family function where I knew no one and felt completely awkward and out of place. Granted, I was compensated monetarily and very nicely at that, but I feel that the boundaries were pushed. This family is very well to do, and they asked that I not only share a room with the kids, but a bed with one of the children. At the time, I was incredibly annoyed, but didn't think there was much to do about it. Now I know that on a regular basis, the children sleep with the parents at home. I don't understand why they couldn't have at least made one of the children sleep with them so that I could at least have my own bed. I had also specifically asked for an aisle seat on the plane because I get incredibly sick on them, and they stuck me in a window seat in a 3 seat aisle, smothered by one of the children and the father. The only alone time I was granted was 1 extra hour on second to last morning to sleep in while they went to eat breakfast. I think they finally realized I was completely drained, and more sick than when we first came b/c obviously I didn't get a chance to rest. As you can see, it was a horrible trip, and I can't think of one joyful moment. At home the family is incredible. I love the children so much I could burst, and the parents are so willing to help me and offer advice. I really do appreciate them. I just don't think vacationing with them is such a good idea anymore. This summer they'll be spending a vast amount of time at their summer house which is a good distance from our normal residence. They've asked me to spend 2 weeks with them, which I really don't have a choice in. I'm really concerned about how to handle it, and how or IF to talk to the parents about it. I know that not only will I be there, but 7 members of their extended family, and another guest or two, will be staying there. Do I have the right to ask for my own room? I don't want to get stuck sleeping in the children's room (again) but it's a possibility with this many people. All of the other guests already have designated rooms, but I don't think I do. I've asked and the reply was that they don't know where to "put" me yet. How do I voice this concern? And what should I do to ensure I don't spend another two weeks feeling suffocated and miserable?
Tuesday
"Mary's" Shadow
Received Tuesday, February 5, 2008- Perspective & Opinion
I have a problem. I didn't see it coming. I took a job with a family that seems as great as they did when I originally interviewed. The children seem even better. They are more generous than I ever imagined possible. The problem is I replaced their nanny of 5 years. Before I took the job, I spoke with her. She in part, sold me on this job. She told me how wonderful everyone was. She is working at a hospital about ten minutes away from where the family lives. She talks about her job as if she really enjoys it. I know she went to school for awhile to get her degree to work in this capacity. The problem is, she visits. That isn't so bad. She calls to check on me when she isn't visiting. Okay, maybe she is just being nice. She emails my boss, her former boss everyday. She shares stories with her about her new coworkers. My boss comes home and tells me and her husband about the emails. This usually leads to another "Mary" story or a child will want to call "Mary". Last night, the husband reminded the wife to pick out something for "Mary" for Valentine's Day. In April, "Mary" is going to Florida and she is staying with the children's grandparents. Everyone loves "Mary". In fact when people meet me, they invariably ask me about "Mary" and always tell me to 'Tell "Mary" we said hi'. I have only been here 4 1/2 weeks and I really like these people and really enjoy working with children in general. Question, will I ever get out from "Mary's" shadow?
I have a problem. I didn't see it coming. I took a job with a family that seems as great as they did when I originally interviewed. The children seem even better. They are more generous than I ever imagined possible. The problem is I replaced their nanny of 5 years. Before I took the job, I spoke with her. She in part, sold me on this job. She told me how wonderful everyone was. She is working at a hospital about ten minutes away from where the family lives. She talks about her job as if she really enjoys it. I know she went to school for awhile to get her degree to work in this capacity. The problem is, she visits. That isn't so bad. She calls to check on me when she isn't visiting. Okay, maybe she is just being nice. She emails my boss, her former boss everyday. She shares stories with her about her new coworkers. My boss comes home and tells me and her husband about the emails. This usually leads to another "Mary" story or a child will want to call "Mary". Last night, the husband reminded the wife to pick out something for "Mary" for Valentine's Day. In April, "Mary" is going to Florida and she is staying with the children's grandparents. Everyone loves "Mary". In fact when people meet me, they invariably ask me about "Mary" and always tell me to 'Tell "Mary" we said hi'. I have only been here 4 1/2 weeks and I really like these people and really enjoy working with children in general. Question, will I ever get out from "Mary's" shadow?
Subway Sandwiches on 2nd Ave between 73/74
Received Tuesday, February 6, 2008
If you sent your nanny or your nanny went on her own to buy a Universal Remote from a Radio Shack (bag noted), I witnessed her behavior yesterday, (2/5) afternoon and was somewhat concerned for the child. The nanny had I think picked the child up from school. (Child: boy, 5-6, white, short brown hair with faux mohawk, blue jeans, brown jacket with elbow patches.) The nanny took the remote out of the bag and was pointing it at the child who was quite quizzical and saying, "mute, mute" while he was trying to ask questions. The nanny was accompanied by a male counterpart. (Male: AA, 5'10" 25-30, wearing long bronze jacket, baggy black jeans hanging low with an intricate design on the pocket). This male counterpart made some comments like, "mute is right, I'd be happy if he was a perma-mute". The boy was clueless and kept saying, "what are you saying, why are you saying that?". I think he was trying to play along. The male counterpart said, "how about we fast forward to the part where you get run over by the garbage truck". The boy kind of said, "nooooo". The little boy's attitude the whole time was as if he were trying to be tough but couldn't figure out why they were being mean to him. I didn't find your nanny's male friend to be funny, but she sure did. And at your little boy's expense. (Nanny: tall, AA, short hair. Straightened hair, cut looked somewhat like Posh's but more even. She was wearing oxfords with no socks-which stood out in NYC, skinny jeans and a puffy grey jacket.) Please don't suggest this remote was a joke and the child was in on it. Outside of the mean comments said to him, he was completely ignored by the twosome. Children get mocked in the schoolyard by their peers, responsible adults have no excuse for this behavior!
If you sent your nanny or your nanny went on her own to buy a Universal Remote from a Radio Shack (bag noted), I witnessed her behavior yesterday, (2/5) afternoon and was somewhat concerned for the child. The nanny had I think picked the child up from school. (Child: boy, 5-6, white, short brown hair with faux mohawk, blue jeans, brown jacket with elbow patches.) The nanny took the remote out of the bag and was pointing it at the child who was quite quizzical and saying, "mute, mute" while he was trying to ask questions. The nanny was accompanied by a male counterpart. (Male: AA, 5'10" 25-30, wearing long bronze jacket, baggy black jeans hanging low with an intricate design on the pocket). This male counterpart made some comments like, "mute is right, I'd be happy if he was a perma-mute". The boy was clueless and kept saying, "what are you saying, why are you saying that?". I think he was trying to play along. The male counterpart said, "how about we fast forward to the part where you get run over by the garbage truck". The boy kind of said, "nooooo". The little boy's attitude the whole time was as if he were trying to be tough but couldn't figure out why they were being mean to him. I didn't find your nanny's male friend to be funny, but she sure did. And at your little boy's expense. (Nanny: tall, AA, short hair. Straightened hair, cut looked somewhat like Posh's but more even. She was wearing oxfords with no socks-which stood out in NYC, skinny jeans and a puffy grey jacket.) Please don't suggest this remote was a joke and the child was in on it. Outside of the mean comments said to him, he was completely ignored by the twosome. Children get mocked in the schoolyard by their peers, responsible adults have no excuse for this behavior!
Monday
Monday, February 4, 2008- No Sightings!
Amy from New Yorkology alerted us to an interesting nanny oriented promotion going on at the Sherry Netherland in NYC. Read about it here.
Heidi sent in this article about a nanny who stole her employer's credit card. "I'm guessing not much happens in Wayne County," says Heidi.
A seemingly irrelevant British Celeb couple, Katie Price & Peter Andre had their parenting skills blasted by former nanny. Read the article here.
"Guests, buffeted by empty crisp packets, smiled as the family arrived— guarded by Kerry's some-time nanny and burly lesbian pal Pat ‘She's Got Muscles In Her Spit' Ferrier." If your curious to find out who's nanny this quote references, click here.
Gwen Stefani's nanny was photographed at the airport holding Kingston.
It's not much, but it's all we have for today. -JD
Heidi sent in this article about a nanny who stole her employer's credit card. "I'm guessing not much happens in Wayne County," says Heidi.
A seemingly irrelevant British Celeb couple, Katie Price & Peter Andre had their parenting skills blasted by former nanny. Read the article here.
"Guests, buffeted by empty crisp packets, smiled as the family arrived— guarded by Kerry's some-time nanny and burly lesbian pal Pat ‘She's Got Muscles In Her Spit' Ferrier." If your curious to find out who's nanny this quote references, click here.
Gwen Stefani's nanny was photographed at the airport holding Kingston.
It's not much, but it's all we have for today. -JD
Saturday
Grand Central Station in NYC
Received Saturday, February 2, 2008
I think this might have been a nanny but I am not altogether certain. I took a picture with my cell but don't know how to get it to you or off my cell altogether. Here is what happened. I was in NYC today, having taken the train in. As I was getting off the train and walking up to GC, I passed this angry looking Asian woman dragging behind her a boy of about 5 or 6. He was saying, 'stop hurting my arm, stop hurting my arm'. And she said something like, "well I am not carrying you". He was wearing a ski jacket that had several shades of grey in it, but you could clearly so her tight grip through to his arm. The boy defiantly stopped still and she said, "move your ass" and the boy said something about his dad being mad. I don't know if it was about what she had just said, what she had just done or something previous. At this point, the woman reached down with one hand and pinched his face really hard. She used a knuckle, not her nails; which were long and red. The boy said, "and stop doing that, too" and the woman said, "Get walking". I don't know what train they were getting on. It was the one in the opposite berth as my own. The boy had the jacket, curly blondish hair, a pinkish complexion (maybe from being so upset?). The woman was wearing a red ski jacket with diamond shaped quilts, tight jeans, pointy shoes and was carrying a black bag with gold accents and a gold chain on it. They were heading to the train at about 4:50 PM today. (Sat, 2/2). And for your information, it defitely was something as I wasn't the only person staring.
I think this might have been a nanny but I am not altogether certain. I took a picture with my cell but don't know how to get it to you or off my cell altogether. Here is what happened. I was in NYC today, having taken the train in. As I was getting off the train and walking up to GC, I passed this angry looking Asian woman dragging behind her a boy of about 5 or 6. He was saying, 'stop hurting my arm, stop hurting my arm'. And she said something like, "well I am not carrying you". He was wearing a ski jacket that had several shades of grey in it, but you could clearly so her tight grip through to his arm. The boy defiantly stopped still and she said, "move your ass" and the boy said something about his dad being mad. I don't know if it was about what she had just said, what she had just done or something previous. At this point, the woman reached down with one hand and pinched his face really hard. She used a knuckle, not her nails; which were long and red. The boy said, "and stop doing that, too" and the woman said, "Get walking". I don't know what train they were getting on. It was the one in the opposite berth as my own. The boy had the jacket, curly blondish hair, a pinkish complexion (maybe from being so upset?). The woman was wearing a red ski jacket with diamond shaped quilts, tight jeans, pointy shoes and was carrying a black bag with gold accents and a gold chain on it. They were heading to the train at about 4:50 PM today. (Sat, 2/2). And for your information, it defitely was something as I wasn't the only person staring.
Friday
Barnes & Noble in Paramus, NJ
Received Friday, February 1, 2008
Time: 4 PM
Where: Barnes And Noble Rte 17 South Paramus NJ
Nanny: Tall thin African American woman with short hair. Wearing jeans and lime green baby phat jacket.
Child: About 4-5 years old. Blonde pig tails with heavy, Irish knit, beige sweater and pink collar sticking out (nanny appeared to be carrying child's coat) Black pants with pink hearts on them and pink sneakers.
Incident: Nanny was NOT holding your child's hand in the very busy parking lot with Rte 17 just yards away. Nanny approached her vehicle (green older model Dodge caravan with a bumper sticker that said Bazookers) with your daughter steps behind her. Nanny clicked the remote to open the door and the little girl slid the side door open with some trouble and climbed in, I assume pulling the door closed behind her. Van was NOT the kind with automatic sliding doors! Nanny got in Driver's seat at the same time and pulled out directly. NJ law also requires a child of that size and age to be in a booster seat. I can't say if there was one in the van or not. I'm also not sure if the child had the time or abilty to belt herself in, I hope she did. I know my charges at that age did not. I know this is not horrible but as a nanny, I think it's worth mentioning.
Time: 4 PM
Where: Barnes And Noble Rte 17 South Paramus NJ
Nanny: Tall thin African American woman with short hair. Wearing jeans and lime green baby phat jacket.
Child: About 4-5 years old. Blonde pig tails with heavy, Irish knit, beige sweater and pink collar sticking out (nanny appeared to be carrying child's coat) Black pants with pink hearts on them and pink sneakers.
Incident: Nanny was NOT holding your child's hand in the very busy parking lot with Rte 17 just yards away. Nanny approached her vehicle (green older model Dodge caravan with a bumper sticker that said Bazookers) with your daughter steps behind her. Nanny clicked the remote to open the door and the little girl slid the side door open with some trouble and climbed in, I assume pulling the door closed behind her. Van was NOT the kind with automatic sliding doors! Nanny got in Driver's seat at the same time and pulled out directly. NJ law also requires a child of that size and age to be in a booster seat. I can't say if there was one in the van or not. I'm also not sure if the child had the time or abilty to belt herself in, I hope she did. I know my charges at that age did not. I know this is not horrible but as a nanny, I think it's worth mentioning.