Wednesday, February 6, 2008
I'm the father of the child in this case. I met with the OP and got more details about the observed behavior. After combining what we learned from the posts with some others' observations about the nanny, my wife and I decided to stop using her services. She is not a bad person, and indeed I think anyone would find her to be sweet and hard working, but it became clear that she was behaving differently when in our presence than when out with the child on her own -- and that is not something we would have noticed without an outside observer speaking up. (Speaking up twice in fact. The first post had no pictures and we probably would never have seen it. Fortunately, the OP's persistence, combined with the site's notariety, eventually brought this to our attention. Thankfully isawyournanny.blogspot.com is a place where a person can feel safe enough to be so persistent.) Again, my wife and I want to convey our extreme gratitude, to the OP and to the people who maintain and use this site. It put us on alert and prompted us to investigate, and as a result helped us quickly end some disappointing circumstances that would otherwise have taken much longer to discover.
Original Post: Received Tuesday, January 29, 2008
I posted about this nanny a few weeks ago--in regards to eating the snack and completely ignoring the child. In that case, a man who was sitting near the nanny and the little girl said something to the nanny.
I have since seen the nanny and her charge twice in the Winter Garden at WFC. Each time, it's the same. It's 75-degrees inside and this child is always bundled up and ignored. The nanny has her coat off and is often fanning herself b/c it does get warm in there. The nanny NEVER makes eye contact or speaks to the child, despite her attempts. This child has the most upsetting look on her face--every time she tries to talk to nanny and is ignored, she sinks back into her stroller and just looks forlorn or like she's resigned to the fact that there's no hope in getting nanny's attention. I typically see them around 3pm, but today I saw them between 2:10and 2:30. I stood nearby for at least 10 minutes on my way to the drug store. The nanny was either eating the whole time, ignoring the child who would alternate between trying to get her attention and giving up. When she wasn't eating, she was staring off in space. Other kids and their nannies were playing nearby but this nanny literally just sits there and looks annoyed or indifferent to the child. Annoyed when she's trying to get nanny's attention. Indifferent the rest of the time. I have not ONCE seen her interact with this child. Even today, when she actually spoke to the child (to tell her no when she reached for the nanny's piece of fruit) she did not even look at her. This time, I had my cell, with camera, on me and got these photos.
(The photos were edited on 2/6/08 to hide the nanny's identity.)
I know some readers of this site will say that I only see her for short periods and perhaps she's wonderful with the child most of the time. But I am telling you, I'm a mom too and there's something wrong here. I've seen the same thing over and over with this nanny and child and it's just the feeling I get from watching this nanny and the child's useless attempts to get the nanny to care or talk to her or even acknowledge her. I see a lot of other nannies in WFC and while I'm not sure you'd say they're all great, but most of them at least interact and seem to care. This nanny does neither. If she were my child I would be heartbroken to see this; she's not mine and it's hard not to feel that way. PLEASE, if you know this nanny's employer's, please direct them to this site.
Great job!! I hope the parents or their friends see this site.
ReplyDeleteI was trying to figure out what the black dot was and then I realized that the child's face was blacked out. I seem to recollect someone posting something about a different nanny that fit this description a few weeks ago-another nanny saw a nanny act rough and inappropriate to their charge, and so the nanny reported to her own charge's parents what she saw from the other nanny.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if that nanny and this nanny are the same one? OP, I must commend you on your efforts. Well done! Hopefully someone will see these picutres.
This is so sad. Good job getting the pics. It's one thing to read it, but a whole different thing to see it. Why is this child so bundled up? She can't even look around she's so packed in there. Hopefully someone sees this that know the parents.
ReplyDeleteI give you credit. How many people actually step in and do something. I hope the parents see this. Actually, I do remember you posting before about this lady. I am glad you got a picture.
ReplyDeleteGreat Post. Great follow up.
ReplyDeleteCuriousity has the best of me, what is winter garden?
I wonder if the nanny gets a chance to eat lunch during the day or if this is the idea of a lunch break. As a nanny I can tell you I often work long hours, sometimes 10 or 12 in a day and am afforded no break as the kids no longer nap. I know this is common in the job but I would probably be found "parking" my charges on these long days and taking time to eat my meal. I would never ignore them as described . However, the picture shows no abuse, just a nanny eating. I am a little skeptical having read the last post on this subject and this one. The kids I sit for will beg and plead for anything I eat and sometimes its not allowed them. If I am drinking doet soda i very well can't give any to the 2 year old but she will beg for it anyway. A toddler will often whine incessantly for something they want and after telling them no a gazillion times I just ignore them because that's how they stop.
ReplyDeleteI am also a mom and I might be a little concerned if that were my child in the picture but not overly so. Just my opinion.
Forget the picture. This is the second time this nanny has stood out as a horrible nanny!
ReplyDeleteOff with their heads, I say.
Really...this is a mom posting to another mom. As a mom you usually know when something is not right.
ReplyDeleteI know its hard being a nanny, not an easy job.
If the nanny is being overworked she can look for another job. Theres other positions out there.
Thank you for this post I really hope the parents see your pictures or hear about this.
ReplyDeleteokay, isn't it common sense to think that if your charge or child cannot consume certain foods(for whatever reasons- food allergies, strict diet, etc.)that a caregiver or parent would pack something else for the child to eat?????
ReplyDeletecome on. enough exscuses. i say "off with her head", too. that is just beyond cruel. i know i get urge to snack when i'm out with my little tot, so naturally, i pack snacks and drinks (mostly water) for both of us. i guess common sense just isn't so common after all.
and it's really not so much that she isn't FEEDING the poor baby, she is completely and intentionally ignoring her.
og how my heart aches for that little baby. smh, smh! (shaking my head).
that's why i stay home and take care of my own child. sure i no longer live the life style i WAS accustomed to; but, in the end, my little guy makes it all worthwhile.
*so disgusted*
IF this nanny just does this all day as a habit, it despicable. However, I think there's a great likelihood that this IS how she takes her lunch "break", especially since OP always seems to see her at the same time. From the brief sightings, it's impossiblwe to know.
ReplyDeleteAnd to the person who says if she's "overworked" she should look for a new job, tell me what nanny position you have ever heard of where a caregiver has the opportunity to clock out for 1/2 an hour and eat her lunch? Maybe with older kids, but with a baby who doesn't nap anymore, it doesn't happen. I bet if you ever spent time with your own child you'd know that. And just because she is eating her own food doesn't mean the baby goes hungry. Maybe the baby already ate and now it's nanny's turn. I just don't think there's enough to go on here.
Sorry for the typos!
ReplyDeleteI also work long hours , and I manage to feed my charges, chat and share at lunch and snack time. I don't eat things they can't have in front of them. I do eat some things they don't like, and drink coffee which they have no interest in trying.
ReplyDeleteThis looks like a nanny who phones it in. She doesn't love her job, or her charge. Nannies like this give us all a bad name.
Good job OP, I hope the parents see this, and replace her with someone who will give that child the attention and stimulation she deserves!
UES Nanny
since when does a 'lunch break' when you care for kids mean that you completely ignore them and leave them bundled up inside in a winter jacket after removing yours because you are too hot? This nanny obviously does not give a crap about her charge. If I go indoors with my dcs and remove MY coat because it is too warm, I also remove my child's coat. That poor child...and she has obviously been trained to just sit and not make a fuss. That kid has been straped in that stroller and ignored since infancy and just accepts it now.
ReplyDeleteI appreciate all the comments but I thank Cali Mom for seeing another view. The same time every day and for a short period of time is really not enough to go on.
ReplyDeleteCali
ReplyDeleteI am the one who posted the statement if the nanny feels she overworked, she should look for another position. This is in defense of the nanny. If she truly believes she is being taken advantage of being overworked why not look for another job. Maybe, a job with less stress.
How can you say I don't spend time with my own child. Hello, alot of two year olds take naps. During that time I can do what needs to be done.
Is it just me you sound really hostile towards everyone. You come off as a real b----.
It seems like everyone always agrees with you. Its like you have your own little "gang" of mommies on here.
I don't like to eat out in public. What if I have the runs?? In the city its hard to find toilets.
ReplyDeleteanthonys mommy, LOL! I get slammed on plenty around here. My point was, what if a child does NOT nap? and most nannies seem to be on the clock for 10 or 12 hours a day.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that the nanny should at least unbundle the child if they are staying inside. But I see nothing wrong with an adult eating something in front of a child that the child may not share. You can't have everything you want in life, right?
Cali Mom, why would the nanny take the child there just to leave her there under blankets and in a heavy coat? Doesn't make sense. She could stay at home and eat. My guess is she nannies for a sahm. That would explain why she has been spotted 4 times by the OP, always treating the child with disregard. Snack this. Look at the bigger picture!
ReplyDeleteMaybe nanny works for a tight ass bitch? Isn't she eating an orange?
ReplyDeleteShe probably had to sneak it out of her employer's cold box.
Overlooking New York Harbor, the soaring glass-enclosed World Financial Center Winter Garden is home to the Arts & Events Program, an innovative, year-round series of free performances, exhibitions and festivals created to showcase emerging as well as established artists. While most of the performances take place in the Winter Garden, special summer events take place on the outdoor Plaza, and exhibitions and installations are housed in the Courtyard Gallery.
It's free.
When you see nannies at free stuff all the time just sitting there doing nothing- i mean, why do they leave the house? why? if she is going to sit inside bundled up, why not stay home and save on germs?
I'll tell you why, her boss either is a tight ass or her boss is like one of those do nothing moms who sends her kids out like that big bulky bedspread you only need two nights a year.
yeah you know what I mean.
GREAT JOB CAUGHT IN THE ACT
ReplyDeleteUNBELIEVABLE!!!!! do you ppl actually think nany doesn't eat to time??? hahahahahahhaha. just look at her!! smh.smh.smh.
ReplyDeletei can't stnad to look at that photo.
anywho, GREAT job, OP!!! i do hope the parents see your post.
Huh? What is "eating to time"?
ReplyDeleteI cannot believe that someone took pictures of someone without permission, then posted them online for everyone to comment i.e bitch about to try and get her into trouble. I would be pissed if I were the woman in the picture, whether or not I was in the wrong. Invasion of privacy anyone?
ReplyDeleteThe problem is not that the nanny is eating in front of the child or even that the nanny is denying her the food she wants. My charges certainly do not get everything they whine for, especially if they've already eaten.
ReplyDeleteThis is probably when she takes her "break" and I see nothing wrong with that. Every now and then when I'm feeling frazzled I let my charges play by themselves in the playroom for ten or fifteen minutes while I sip a diet soda. However, when they come out and ask me for something, I certainly do not ignore them. To tune a child out like that is just cruel. It breaks my heart to even think of one of my charges crying for my attention like that. I cannot imagine the kind of person who could just sit there and pretend the child doesn't exist. There is no question about whether this is a good nanny the rest of the time. Someone this cruel and mean-spirited is not going to turn around the next minute and be a loving nanny.
If the employers of this woman see this, they will probably fire her, just to hire another one just like her. What can you do about it, other than nosing in on other's business>
ReplyDeleteanon@ 8:02 AM,
ReplyDeleteOh honey, invasion of privacy?
Are you for real?
We can no longer expect to have any sort of privacy. Anywhere.
That is where the technological and digital advances have gotten us.
You have to right to post a face/picture of someone without permission. Regardless of whether she is a good nanny or not. At least discolor her face a bit. If someone knows her they will recognize her figure. I understand your point of view of trying to raise awareness. Would you like some posting pictures of you on the web. Probably not.
ReplyDeleteYou don't have the right to mistreat children you are trusted $15 per hour off the books to take care of, you don't have the right to leave your charges in the car, in their strollers, spill coffee on them, pull their hair, shake their strollers, shake their tiny bodies, threaten them with harm, frighten them, manipulate them, lie to them, etc. But nannies do it.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the nannies will think twice before taking a job they think will be "cake". If the only people who worked as nannies were people who truly loved children, well NYC would have a damn nanny shortage wouldn't they?
Tough cookies about the photo.
great pic....you got it....this looks like a lousy nannie..lazzzyyy
ReplyDeletepoor little child..she must be so unhappy and so very very hot..hope her parents see this..job well done
who cares about nannie's feelings she seems not to care for this poor little child....
keep an eye on her..
Seriously...looking at this picture does not show neglect to a child. First of all we can't see the childs face, for all we know she is sleeping or perfectly content. Secondly, we have no way of knowing what rules and regulations this nanny has to follow. The parents may suggest to the nanny not to unbundle the child while they are out, or not to give them your food if your eating. I'm a mother of 2 and they always want what I'm having even if they have their own food. Some people on here are unbelieveable with their remarks. News Flash...kids don't have to be picked up and held all day...nor do you have to be in their faces talking to them 24 hours a day. Tell me what kid doesn't get frustrated in a stroller.
ReplyDeleteYou could easily have walked over near her and said "wow, its pretty warm in here today, I'm surprised she's not too hot in all those clothes". Maybe the nanny would have given you a reason for the baby always being bundled up.
Sorry, I am in the minority but I don't see any abuse going on here either. Even with the OPs description. Nannies are employees not slaves. So she didn't harken to the baby's call immeddiately. you say you watched her for 10 minutes and she ignored the child. Really? 10 whole minutes? You mean, the baby had to cry for 10 whole minutes and not have someone cater to him/her? Guys please, that's why we see so many self-centered brats in the world today. They think that all they have to do is voice a little displeasure and the world will be served them on a platinum platter. I have three kids, 2 in middle school and one in HS. All three honor students, volunteers and well rounded kids. And yes, they cried for 10 minutes without attention, sometimes longer, they were told no when I was eating something they couldn't have, and their nanny is treated as my peer and equal NOT their servant. I was a nanny when I was starting out in life so I know how it is. The baby is not even over dressed.
ReplyDeleteOn another note if you are in a public place, or in a private place open to the public, anyone may take your picture and do what they like with it so long as it doen't defame you. If there was a law against snapping pics in public and posting them or selling them, the paparazzi would be out of business.
3timeswise.....AMEN!
ReplyDelete11:37 Sounds like you're not familiar with the Winter Garden and just cut and pasted from a tourist web site. The Winter Garden is the centerpiece of the World Financial Center--a multibuilding office complex in downtown Manhattan. Although there are sometimes events and concerts held there at times, they are scheduled in the evenings and weekends when the noise from the events are less likely to disturb the building's business tenants. During an indoor show, the place that you would sit is usually on the floor, in temporary seating or on the stairs. She is not attending an event nor are the other people in the area lounging on benches. They are just sitting there during a lunch break. And, there are plenty of places in the surrounding Battery Park City and Tribeca neighborhoods she could bring the child to that would be more stimulating for the child.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately some parents (and some caregivers who like to call themselves nannies) believe that a nanny is just someone who watches a child, not someone who enriches and enhances their development, so they don't find behavior like this woman's disturbing.
The look on the child's face is one I would describe as "lost and sad". The OP took the photo, not to "capture abuse" but to share the precise identity of the nanny with our readers.
ReplyDelete3:03 the behavior isn't disturbing to me and apparently a few others because the OP witnessed this for only a short period of time on each occasion.
ReplyDeleteWhile I agree a nanny and more importantly a parent's job is to indeed enhance and enrich their charges lives, it is not to be at the child's beck and call every minute. In the picture, the child is facing the nanny, the blanket is loosely draped on the stroller and the child's coat is open. If I stoppped with my stroller on a mall or other enclosed place (as I often did with both my charges and my own kids) this is exactly how I would position the stroller and would look. As for the child's expression, that's pretty hard to place from a photo as babies and toddlers make all sorts of faces in the span of a minute as any parent can tell you. Don't get me wrong, I don't think OP was horrible for posting this picture. On the other hand I commend OP for caring enough to speak up. Better to err on the side of caution as the saying goes. But all I'm saying is I don't think this nanny is harrible or even wrong. Just not enough to go on that's all.
Well sad is usally what you get from a child when they aren't getting what they want. Like some others have said already, this isn't enough to go on to show abuse or mistreatment of a child. The nanny is eating, the child is sitting.
ReplyDeleteJane Doe...How does a child that small look "lost". Just curious.
"Well sad is usally what you get from a child when they aren't getting what they want."
ReplyDeleteThat statement speaks volumes, don't you think?
I wasn't set to describe the look on the child's face until someone spoke of it. Perhaps lost wasn't the best choice of words, maybe disconnected and empty.
That child looks very big for that stroller, doens't she? If it's an indoor gardenl can't she get down and walk around?
ReplyDeleteI don't know that the picture shows anything but someone took time to report a series of incidents that bothered her. She saw the way the nanny was behaving towards the child and it didn't set well with him/her. If this is your nanny, I bet all you need to do is ask around. And fuck diplomacy, get the truth.
JaneDoe, no it really doesn't speak anything because a child that age wants whatever strikes their fancy from a cupcake to a draft horse if they happen to see one and if they are told no they can do anything from looking sad to having a hissy fit.
ReplyDeleteHelaine, The stroller is likely what is provided to the nanny for her to use to take the child out so can we really fault her for using that too? Once kids reach age 2 or 3 parents don't usually buy another stroller unless they have to because the child will be outgrowing it soon anyway.
If that were my nanny I would likely be pissed that her picture is up there for my friends to possibly see and form opinions based upon a persons few minutes observations.
If that were my nanny and I saw it I would likely thank OP for being concerned but wouldn't worry about it.
And Heliane dear, using that sort of language does not help you make a stronger case.
Thanks Jane, I got what you meant and she only made it more clear the second go around. She is NO parents. She is a pissed off nanny. A nanny who is under the impression that children are basically bad and likely the reason all nannies react. Damn the evil children of NYC.
ReplyDeleteHelaine, I agree.
3TimesWise, Get back to work.
if their not treating the kids badly, their treating your husband a little too nicely!
ReplyDeleteEthan Hawke and his homewrecking slut of a girlfriend are going to be parents!
The actor and Ryan Shawhughes, 28, are expecting their first child.
“They are over the moon!” a pal tells In Touch about the pregnancy.
Ethan, 37, first met Slutty Ryan when she worked as a nanny for him during his marriage to Uma Thurman.
Hawke already has to kids with Uma.
Hold on here...I don't think anyone is saying this nanny needs to "cater to the child's every whim" but she should at least acknowledge her! "No sweetie, you already ate," or "We'll get you a snack later" or even just a (kind) "no-no" would be perfectly fine responses in this situation. But the nanny simply IGNORES her!
ReplyDeleteEveryone has let their child "cry it out" every once in a while, but this is an entirely different situation. I find it hard to believe that a caring nanny (or mother for that matter) would set the child in a chair and then completely ignore her. This little girl isn't throwing a fit because "she's not getting what she wants", she's bored and probably lonely, and the person who is supposed to be taking care of her won't even speak to her.
It may not be physical abuse, but it certainly seems cruel, don't you think?
Ro, Did you have a bad day or something? I could get nasty with you after your unprovoked meaness, but that would be petty and not change your opinion or mine. Plus, I have seen other threads on this blog deteriorate into flame wars because of this sort of behavior so this is all I will entertain of this. I think I was pretty clear when I said I started my professional life as a nanny, so I know a little something about being a nanny.
ReplyDeleteI am, in fact a parent, and I am sorry you don't agree with me Ro. If you had children of your own you would know that as toddlers, they are far from angels 100% of the time. However, parents are seldom willing or even able to admit this of their own child. I have witnessed children at age 2 or older on the ground, turning purple because they don't want to leave the playground, or they want a piece of candy, or they want a toy. This is usually followed by the parents begging, cajoling, bribing and usually giving in. In fact, children will test the limits throughout their growing years in different ways and on different levels and it's how parents and caregivers deal with that sort of testing that will shape the child's development. If you do have kids Ro, and don't know this then what can I say, you truly must have the only perfect kids on planet earth!
5:54 sorry, I saw your post after I put mine up, we must have posted the same time.
ReplyDeleteI don't know if it's cruel or not. I just don't think witnessing something for 10 minutes at a time, a few times is enough to make any sort of judgement call. It's just my opinion and everyone is entitled to draw what conclusions they will from the facts presented.
PS. My children threw tantrums as well but they were short lived because they were not entertained and furthermore there were no idle threats made, nor bribes offered. They were given 3 chances to behave. If they failed to do so, we went home. If they threw a fit over leaving a place they enjoyed we wouldn't return for quite a while and then only under warning that should they tantrum over leaving again we would never return. Period. It didn't matter where we were or what we were doing. Once we drove 3 hours in traffic to the beach only to leave after 45 minutes because they were acting up and fighting. Amazingly, after only a handful of times applied this sort of zero tolerance resulted in me not having to get to warning number three very often, in fact I honestly can't recall the last time. In fact, my children were and are often complimented on their fine manners and calm demeanor when we had to leave a place they were enjoying. Of course, they will still test the boundries on occassion but they will only push so far because they know mom and dad mean business.
ReplyDeleteOP- THANKS for posting this. As a WOHM in Manhattan I appreciate your efforts.
ReplyDeleteHopefully the parents see this and evaluate long and hard the performance of their nanny.
What is with all the ranting about discipline, tantrums, whining, and not getting everything you want? That has no relevance to this post. The child is sitting quietly, and according to JD, looks sad, and/or lonely. It brings to mind the orphanages in Rumania where the children lie silent in their beds all day and never cry. They have given up.
ReplyDeleteGreat job with the photo OP. I will be forwarding to all I know in the area and hopefully they will do the same. It is boring to read those who side with the nanny who they do not know and have never seen when the OP describes such a sad situation. If the nanny is too hot for her coat, why is the child bundled like that in a warm stroller. Why is she ignoring the child? Why no appropriate snack for the child if lunch time/break? Too bad if her picture is taken. If she is proud of her behavior toward the child here, then what is the problem? If she has something to hide, well, then of course she will be mad. IT IS HER JOB to pay attention and care, and as others have said, if too difficult for her lazy self then she should find another job, instead of neglecting a helpless child. Of course, in any other job, she would probably be fired if she was so neglectful and inattentive.........Sad, just sad. I hope the parents see it, show her and fire her, and share it with anyone who calls for a reference.
ReplyDelete3 Times Wise,
ReplyDeleteI am a nanny on the Upper East Side and my charges come from an affluent family. If they look sad, it's because they probably are sad. They don't freak out everytime they don't get what they want. Not with me, anyway. Most of the nannies I know work with well to do families and the children behave very well for the nannies. Not so much the mother because the mothers are usually self absorbed, short with the children, bitchy, self indulgent or genuinely just lack a maternal instinct. So I suggest to you that you re evaluate your impression of children as being a lot of whining brats. You sound like an overweight housewife. No offense.
And PS, my boss is the hottest of all the mothers, the coolest, most down to earth and she had twins five months ago and has her killer body back already.
My life, it's good.
And I can sit and chat with a friend in the park drinking an espresso and I still interact with the children. How hard is that? To rattle keys, repeat words, point out birds? That is THE JOB.
Sitting on your fat ass in a skin tight red shirt is unlikely THE JOB.
OP has seen this nanny several times. She has found the child/nanny interaction disturbing and we should probably give her the benefit of the doubt, since she was there...three times...and none of the rest of us were. If this were my child I would be GRATEFUL that somebody cared enough to look out for her best interest. And I would be grateful for the wake up call and the opportunity to look into this further myself.
ReplyDeleteNot every post has to be about a child being savagely beaten to be a valid post. Subtle emotional abuse/neglect can be just as serious if it is not nipped in the bud. Who of you wouldn't want to hear about your nanny here just because her abuse stopped short of being a CSI worthy drama?
This child is NOT being abused by her nanny. Unfortunately the parents aren't around and when they are probably don't pay much attention to the kid, which would account for the sad lost look in a toddlers! eyes. She looks like she is having her lunch break. These "rich kids" are usually ones that grow up to be party kids, sometimes junkies. And who is to blame, the nanny? It's the parents that bore these children into the world. It is their responsibility to make sure they have loving caregivers, not the other way around. BLAME THE PARENTS.
ReplyDeleteOkay, if there is a rare day where I need a "break" at my nanny job (which never truly happens), here's what I do: the child(ren) are fed, clean, happy, etc. I sit down for a few minutes to glance at a magazine while they play with their toys in front of me/in the same room. I admit, I do this once in a awhile on rough days (ie, I have my period, it's a 12 hour day and the child is not napping). I do not neglect the child, ignore the child, etc.
ReplyDeleteOk guys well thanks for the insults. I thought maybe I would be allowed to voice my opinion without being flamed but I can see that's not possible here.
ReplyDeleteActually behavior, dicipline and tantrums have everythign to do with the post because any of those issues could explain why the shild has the expression on the face that was descibed.
10:59, I am not sure what having a hot body has to do with anything, or why I sound overweight. I could say how you sound but why waste my time yours and the other readers? As stated before, I've no desire to start any flame wars or participate in any so take care everyone and happy blogging! Have a wonderful day!
Who is responsible, I would hope the point is not for us to decide where to assign the blame, but rather to make the parents of this child aware that there may be a problem with their nanny so that they can check into it further. I agree that there are far too many uninvolved parents and that they are ultimately responsible for almost everything that happens with their child...even if the nanny is crappy, because they are the ones who left the child with her in the first place. But, just in case these parents actually do care what happens with their little girl, it's a good thing they now might get notice that they need to check their nanny out a little closer. And yes, neglect is abuse...if that's what this nanny is doing. We don't know for sure...but somebody needs to find out. Chances are they don't care all that much...because if it was the first priority in their lives, one would think they had checked out very thoroughally what the nanny does with their child when out of their presence. But lets give the poor little girl at least a chance, just in case this nanny is one of those who has done a really fantastic job of pulling the wool over her parents eyes.
ReplyDelete7:13 I don't think it's even good for kids for the adults in their lives to play with them and cater instantly to their needs 100% of the time. There has to be a happy medium somewhere between being oblivious to childrens psychological needs (as we saw was so commonplace in generations past) and treating them like the future king of the world (as so many now do.) They need to know they are loved. They need to experience a little adversity, and be given the chance to learn to cope...and maybe to work themselves out of a few scrapes. They need to learn to find ways to amuse themselves (don't you remember being a kid and getting bored as heck from time to time and having to find somebody to play with or something to do...all by yourself?) They need to be accountable for their actions. And they especially need to understand that there are other people in the world with feelings besides themselves. If they don't learn these things early in, they stand a pretty good chance of growing up to be helpless and narcissistic.
I too agree that's it a good thing to point stuff like this out just in case the parents would want ot know. I don't know if the nanny oin this picture is a good or bad nanny but at least there is a chance for the parents to check it out if they see it.
ReplyDeleteI don't see the need to get nasty as some have here. It only will sour people.
628-
ReplyDeleteyou don't know if this child is being abused or what the parent's situation is. you don't know anything. you sound like an evil person. i hope you don't work as a nanny, especially not for wealthy people because you sound like you would hurt their children just to deal with your own class issues.
3timeswise, I'm sorry you feel like you can't post your opinions without getting flamed. I applaud you for teaching your children such discipline. There are way too many undisciplined children out there who are going to wake up one day to a harsh world. They will have trouble in school, the workplace, or anywhere else that may impose rules or guidelines. Good job!
ReplyDeleteThat being said, I do not believe this is an issue of the child misbehaving. Could the nanny not find somewhere where the little girl could enjoy herself and the nanny could eat her snack? I don't know much about the winter gardens, but it doesn't appear to be a playplace. When the nanny parks her stroller here she has no intention of letting the child out to play. So the toddler gets bundled up and packed into a stroller only to sit there by herself (she may as well be, the nanny is checked out)
I'm also on the fence about whether or not this is abuse.
http://www.findcounseling.com/journal/child-abuse/emotional-abuse.html
This nanny's behavior could be bordering on emotional abuse. Coldness, ignoring, and rejecting could probably fit the description of this nanny's behavior.
Of course, OP has not observed this nanny long enough to know if she treats the child this way all the time. However, I find it hard to believe that the nanny only does this during her snack/lunch. I think the parents should definitely check up on their nanny to make sure this is not the way their child is regularly treated.
When I was a nanny for 2 boys, and infant and a 3 year old, I never knew what to expect from Mom, since she didn't have a routine for either of them. Naptime changed from day to day for the baby, and I was only there 2 days a week. I tried getting them on a schedule; she didn't like that. Not having a schedule is hard for the children and the nanny, since it throws off the entire day.
ReplyDeleteOK, so the nanny is sitting there eating. Yeah, OK, I did say she was a bad nanny yesterday, and she may very well be a good nanny. Yet, how do we know she didn't let the child play prior to this picture being taken? Maybe she bundled the child up prior to going outside.
10:59-I agree with you. I was a nanny this summer, and I would take my charge to the park, and while he sat in the stroller, I would read to him, sing songs and talk to him. He was 10 months old and loved every minute of it! So, yes, we as nannies, can rest and still interact with our charges.
We weren't there.
ReplyDeleteOP observed this Nanny on several occasions, each the same.
We can't see the picture of the child ... OP and Jane Doe have.
They both say child looks sad and lost/lonely/forlorn/disconnected/empty ..... (does it really matter which adjective?)
The Parents should know this is how their child is spending her day with this Nanny.
It will then be THEIR decision what to do about it.
OP should be given the benefit of the doubt ....
Child is wrapped in a WOOL coat, with a QUILT on top of her.
ReplyDeleteWould YOU be comfortable?
Nanny is eating. Child isn't.
How do YOU know she's already eaten?
Nanny looks completely disinterested AND bored.
How do you think the CHILD feels?
Think.
oh everyone give it a rest. everyone here is assuming what may or may not have happened. none of us really know, so how can that make one persons opinion better than the next persons opinion. we are all just guessing.
ReplyDelete10:59 well said...you are 100% correct...
ReplyDelete3timeswise said: are you this nanny from the pictures???..i am a ny working mom and i am glad you or this nanny are not with my kids..come on get of your fat ass and keep this child happy..does not take that long or is to hard..you are getting paid a good penny "do your job"..i have sent this pictures to all my friend ..i hope they fire her ass...
10:59
ReplyDeleteYOU are an ass.
You brag about your Boss Ladys body as if it's your own!
How icky!
I bet you stare at her alot ...
Why don't you keep your eyes on the kids instead.
Ack.
I think 1059 was raging against your sterotypes. She gets along with her boss, likes the kids, likes the job, the kids arent spoiled, etc.
ReplyDelete" "Well sad is usally what you get from a child when they aren't getting what they want."
ReplyDeleteThat statement speaks volumes, don't you think? "
3tw, let me attempt to clarify for you.
You sounds as if you feel kids only are sad when they have WANTS that are unmet. A child can, indeed be sad if they WANT a cookie and are told no, WANT a new DVD and are told no, etc. An unmet WANT can lead to tantrums and sulks, no question. Unmet WANTS are also key to figuring out the world doesn't revolve around you, a key lesson to learn after age 2.
IMO, Jane Doe was attempting to communicate the fact that WANT can also equal NEED. A child NEEDS love, attention, discipline, freedom to explore, food, sleep, etc. Unmet NEEDS can lead directly to WANTS, because a child who is ignored, hungry, tired, or constantly confined will get grumpy.
The "nanny" in the pictures does not seem to be doing an adequate job of meeting the child's basic NEEDS. By ignoring the child, "nanny" is depriving her of basic NEEDS/WANTS, and is, at the least, guilty of neglect AT THE TIME when she was observed.
And yes, I am a nanny, and no, I do not dance, sing, and entertain my charges 10 hours straight. I do, however, have the human decency to interact with them when they try to talk to me or ask for my attention, even if I am taking a little break.
It's not hard to damage a child through neglect. All the OP has done is inform the community (and hopefully the parents) that she feels something is wrong, and that "nanny" seems neglectful and unwilling to interact with the child. I hope the parents find out about this post, and that they take any action they deem neccessary.
P.S. The end of naptime doesn't mean the end of a need for quiet rest and solo relaxation. Even if a child won't nap, the adult in charge is still able to get a break by using "Quiet Time" effectively.
P.P.S. Nannies I know eat lunch WITH their charges. It's a nifty way to make sure manners are learned!
GREAT post Chick!
ReplyDelete3TW, I am new here too and I know the small group of meanies here that think they are all knowing and god's gift can turn you off but try to ignore them. Most here are OK.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for diciplining your kids. I work on occasion for a woman who has two of the most ill-behaved brats I have ever seen. In fact, I will be dropping her once Spring comes. I don't blame her kids I blame her! The 5 year old interrupts when we talk without being corrected, pulls her sister's hair or slaps her without anything said and is permitted to open as many ice-pops, candies, or whatever else she wants then simply walk away from it. The mom tells me she believes in letting her kids grow and lead, therefore she does not dicipline them-only says she wishes they wouldn't do that. She employes an illegal, off the books regular nanny at under minimum wage. I am the fill-in when that nanny is sick. They live in Upper Saddle River, NJ in a home that costs millions and they drive Beemer SUVs.
The other day she spoke to me about something on the nanny cam which I did not know was there. Her 3 year old screaming her head off because I wouldn't stand while she and her sister watched tv. (They are permitted to watch whatever they want, whenever they want) The girls thought it would be funny to make me stand for however long they pleased. According to the mother, they make the other nanny do this all the time and she knows she is to comply. Needless to say, I told the mom that's insane and if the kids are sitting on the couch watching tv for hours on end (which I don't agree with) I will certainly sit as well. Mom didn't like that but apparently she is known among sitters and can't get a decent one or even a cheap one easily. The point is mom let me see the tape and they way the 3 year old was carrying on you would have thought I'd beaten her. She trhen sat on the couch suking until mom came home. When mom showed up from her lunch appointment, the three year old told her I was mean to her and that's what promted mom to look at the nanny cam after I left. I thought the whole thing was hysterical and told her so.
Again, my point is that, looking at that tape, you see a slightly overweight nanny sitting on the couch ignoring a screaming 3 year old. Later in the tape the 3 year old looks forlorn and heart broken. Since there is no sound, the image looks very bad for me. I told the mom she can never call me again if she wishes but I am scheduled to be there Saturday night. I hate her really but I need the money for now so I will grit my teeth and deal for now. She has even recommended me to others at the spa she goes to as well as the JCC and for the record, no one she referred me to that I have worked for can stand her! LOL! This self-centerd mom really does not care about her kids at all they are just fashion accessories. The regular nanny in the home looks a lot like the one in the picture and bares the same listless expression. Makes me wonder what her boss is like.
Wow ... in complete agreement here.
ReplyDeleteAwesome post, chick!
Supernannynnj
ReplyDeleteI'm sure no one here would agree that it is o.k. to let a child act the way you described. It's true, we don't know for sure everything that happened in the pic, but we should take the OPs word for it as we were not there. The child looks too young to be causing that Nanny too much of a problem ...
Personally, by the tone of your post, I'm surprised that the money would be worth you going back to work for that Employer. She is disrespectful to you, and it's no wonder her kids are so ill-behaved.
nannynnj
ReplyDeleteYou do make a good point about the nanny in the picture maybe putting up with alot of crap from her employer, and that's why she may look the way that she does. But the same for her goes to you - why would you put up with it? Being treated like a second class citizen isn't worth it.
Why are some people here meanies? What, if they don't agree with you, or have a different opinion they are meanies? That's the beauty of this board. To see and discuss all angles of an argument.
ReplyDeleteOf course, as long as it's done diplomatically - without the name calling.
The picture tells part of the story. The OP's words tell the rest. Put the two together and it's easy to determine that this is a lazy slug of a nanny, totally devoid of any feelings for the child in her care.
ReplyDeleteyes, Lorenza that's about the gist of it. How sad. Hopefully this so-called nanny will soon be jobless.
ReplyDelete7:42
ReplyDeleteWho are the meanies? There are quite a few loyal posters that have pretty much been here from ISYN's inception.
Once in awhile a subject comes up that hits close to home for some reason or another, and they may get a little over zealous - but I don't think many of them get down to the dirty name calling.
You said you were pretty new, so I would hope you'd know that we have a few "anonymous" psychos that like to start trouble around here.
But I do appreciate that you're not letting it turn you off from being 'one of us'.
The only reason I'm responding is because you made the comment: "a small group that are all knowing and Gods gift" - which would mean you have specific posters in mind.
Please remember that everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and as long as their not flinging insults, they should be respected.
A competent nanny would remove the blanket and jacket indoors so the child didn't become overheated, and at least give the child a sippy cup of water and a baggie of cheerios while she took her snack break. That is just the minimum someone who is being paid to care for a child should do. True, we don't know the particulars of this situation, but I think it is fair to assume from what we do know that this is not a fabulous nanny, and the parents might want to see this.
ReplyDeleteA Nanny
Well, sometimes I call a spade a spade. If that's being a meanie, then I guess I am one of them.
ReplyDelete7:42 the mom is very retarded person and does not knowhow to raise her children I would quit as soon as possible and find another job that better.
ReplyDeleteI know the mom is a loser psycho, but I really do need the money so I take all the work I can get for now. The more I work, the sooner I will be able to go back to picking and choosing the families I work with.
ReplyDeleteI have seen posts with the same tones as the nasty ones before so I can only think that those are the same people causing trouble over and over. But like i said most of you guys here are A Ok! :D
Aww, I loves you, sprak!
ReplyDeleteBut I'm no meanie!
So I will be "anonymous" for now!
I don't wanna be lumped in with you guys!
LOL
Thanks, 'snnnj' (whew, too much to write!)
ReplyDelete;)
3timeswise Perhaps it's the handle you chose which seems to indicate that you are somehow wiser than others on this board that makes posters want to attack you? One person, whose handle was an obvious salute to her boobs, was likewise under constant attack. I don't especially disagree with you because this picture is but part of the story, just as in a newspaper article accompanied by a photo. Without the written report the photo is without much meaning. The OP has had concerns about this particular nanny for awhile but has voiced no similiar concerns about any other nanny she may have seen in the area. Concerned enough about the child to use her camera, she got a picture of the woman to share on here. Good, bad, or indifferent, the nanny in question will now perhaps be found and the truth can be determined. Cheers!
ReplyDeletebtw..Sprak, I agree that you are one of the meanies!
12:00,
ReplyDeleteI took 3TimesWise moniker to mean she had learned from experience, not that she considered herself superior. Although I can see where you maybe got the other impression. Funny how we can all see the same exact thing and interpret it so differently.
And, for the record, "big boobs" was not attacked for her moniker (good grief, how could we...she used probably a dozen different ones anyway!) She was attacked for being mean, rude, and intentionally stirring trouble for no other reason than she enjoys it.
And, since you have mentioned it...I have sometimes wondered at the true identity of SPRAK as well. Sometimes she seems to be...and other times not...one of multiple identities (Think about it.)
I agree with you, Mom, that the moniker "3timeswise" could be interpreted different ways and thought it might be causing some negativity towards that poster by some. As for the one with ALL the ID's, it's true that she attempted to post using several different names but her entry name revealed what she considered to be her "greatest assests" and this, in and of itself, was pathetic--considering the quality of such. As for sprak, an opinionated poster for sure, but sprak's been around for a goodly while and can be mellow or a real ass. Maybe it's medication?
ReplyDeleteAlthough it's hard to tell how long a poster has been around (because, like me, most of us started out as 'anonymous') ....
ReplyDeleteSprak has been around long enough that I think she's legit.
Edgy, but legit.
I happened upon this blog about Aug/Sept. of 2006, and I think some of the regulars showed up around the same time. Again, not counting when they came out of hiding with a moniker.
I can think of quite a few off-hand, but unfortunately, some of us disappeared over the Summer or had just had enough and changed our moniker.
Anyway, I like someone who stands their ground.
Medication or not, as long as they don't get too insulting.
Since 3 times wise has 3 kids, I took her handle to mean she was wise x3. ;D
ReplyDeleteI think it wasn't nice when Ro accused her of being a pissed off nanny and not a parent and told her to get back to work. Nor do I think the other one saying she sounded like an overweight housewife was too kind either, even though it was followed by no offense. I don't care for a certain handle someone uses on here but I usually like what they have to say.
For the record FNG stands for Freakin (or whatever other F word you want to plug in here) New Girl :D
That reminds me. A week or two ago my 17 year old son came and looked over my shoulder and saw
ReplyDeleteMary PoppinPills' moniker. He said, sort of shocked, "Mary Poppin Pills? REALLY? That's her screen name?"
I said simply, "Yes."
He stood quiet for just a second, and then he said, "I like it. Thats sooooo funny!"
Thanks! ☺
ReplyDeleteIt has no resemblance to my real name (it's not Mary).
And we all know Mary Poppins was an (obsessive compulsive) freak that probably needed medication.
Now for the similarities:
I used to be a Nanny (quite a few) years ago.
I don't know if it was pregnancy-induced or not, but I was an obsessive-compulsive neat-freaking nester. Everything had to be perfect. (My family still teases me about it.)
And I probably needed medication, too.
Fng (I like your name)
ReplyDeleteWho's moniker bothers you?
C'mon, give!
We're all friends here! LOL
I kind of figured '3timeswise' meant she had 3 kids, and each one made her wiser.
(So true though, huh?)
I agree that the 'fat housewife' comment was out of order, too. Sometimes people go too far around here. I can understand a little flaming about a post if it riles you up .... but not personal attacks.
My favorite line of Spraks:
ReplyDelete"I admit that I may not always be right but I have the right to be wrong".
Yes, sprak is all over the place.
ReplyDeleteBut sometimes so is Cali Mom and I love her posts.
I just figure it means they think about every issue and answer according to their true opinion on each.
But when Sprak is sometimes very mean I have wondered if she might be somebody else. SO Glad to hear that she is NOT!
When I first posted on here somebody immediately called me fat and poor. (Because why else would I watch my own kids?) When I wrote back that I am financially comfortable and involved in a sport that keeps me fit, they wrote back and accused me of being stuck up and insinuating that I was hot...OH and that that somehow made them feel very sorry for my kids...and then they called my kids some ugly names. I realized very quickly that there are just some people who are never going to be happy or give anybody else a break.
Mom
ReplyDeleteI can't tell you how many times I've been slammed, either.
I usually try to be circumspect and post thoughtful answers, but on ocassion I can get my 'dander up'. I try not to let it get to me, but it sometimes does.
That's why I think so many (of our favorite) posters changed their moniker. I still believe most of them are here .... they just don't want to be outed.
I'll see a word or phrase that would be common to some of them, and it's fun thinking it 'might' be them!
☺ Ciao!
you snotty mothers need to realize... nanny's don't get a "lunch hour" OR anything of that nature! RELAX... maybe you see her during her one time she gets to relax for a snack during the day.
ReplyDeleteoh, i forgot nannies are here for your enjoyment...
btw... i think it is total stalker and infringement of privacy that you took someones photo and posted it without her knowing!
if i were this nanny, in the right or wrong in the situation, I would sue you for defamation of character, and have you arrested for stalking me to take my photo!
ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha
ReplyDeleteGood luck with that!
3:16
ReplyDeleteYou would blow a fortune in legal fees...with no return on your investment.
I would rather see my nanny pictured here- as a warning, than here-http://childcaregonewrong.blogspot.com/ as being arrested.
ReplyDeleteLook for those warning signs people. Alert the parents.
Ring those bells. Sound the alarms.
Do whatever you can do to save a child!
Save for the cut & paste error, this was meant to be the post:
ReplyDelete3:16
No.
Only Nannies like YOU are here for our enjoyment.
All of the other decent Nannies we respect.
Who says OP was stalking? Nanny was in a public area, and OP snapped her photo.
ReplyDeleteThere are cameras on every street corner nowadays and in every store, are you gonna sue them for invasion of privacy?
Yeah. Shaking my head in amazement. I guess the same people who are stupid enough to think they are somewhere private when they are walking down a street or hanging out at a shopping mall are the same people who are stupid enough to think kids are perfectly safe wandering around unattended in busy parking lots and rattling around loose in the backseat of a moving vehicle.
ReplyDeleteSo, Mom...
ReplyDeleteYou do know that I never called you fat and poor or put down your family. That's not my style. Hey, I'm not even upset that Lorenza, the Miss Goody Two Shoes of the posters here, called me an ass 'cuz maybe I have been a few times. But I refuse to be stifled and I think the nanny in this sighting is probably not a good nanny to say the least. I also don't think her privacy was invaded or any of that other nonsense and BS that a few posters brought up just to defend her.
Welcome to the club, Sprak! lol
ReplyDeleteWe love your style!
(Thanks, JD! ☺)
ReplyDeleteSometimes I may not agree with a persons point of view, but if it makes for a good argument, I'm all about a healthy debate.
We do have a couple of 'spirited' (perfect word) posters ... and Cali mom and Sprak are among them.
I can appreciate that no matter how much someone gets flamed, they refuse to back down.
A few others are just known for their phenomenal advice (insert Mom here). ☺
We are the parents of this child. On Friday evening, 2/01/08, we were directed to this site anonymously. It was a shock to read, but also a relief to know that anonymous strangers are concerned about how our child is treated. We're very, very grateful that someone took the time and trouble to report what she saw, and that so many people took the time to post reactions, both in favor of and critical of the report.
ReplyDeleteWe would very much like to speak to the person who witnessed the events reported, and would appreciate hearing from her. Email us at an account we created just for this: WinterGardenatWFCinNYC@gmail.com. If anyone else who has seen our child in the Winter Garden and has information to impart, please also contact us there.
We're happy this site exists and hope people continue to use it as a safe place to report observations about children's safety and well-being.
Dear Parents,
ReplyDeleteWow. I must really commend you for having such an interest in how your Nanny was treating your child. We've seen quite a few Parents turn a blind eye, believe it or not.
Your Daughter is very lucky to have you! ♥
Gee I would love to know the parents' "verdict" on whether this nanny is being neglectful...or whether OP just happens to see her repeatedly during the only regularly scheduled neglectful 10 minutes of her day. I'm so glad they have an opportunity to check it out!
ReplyDeleteSprak, I have no hard feelings toward you...and actually I don't even remember who "flamed" me. I was just so surprised when it happened because I was new here. Then I realized that there are just some poeple who like to do that for no particular reason. I don't mind differing opinions, or even criticism...if the person means it sincerely. That's sort of the point of blogging, right? I just get weary of "you know who" because she only ever intends to divert the blog to her own agenda, and cause a fight so she can sit home and laugh and drool over all of the attention it brings her.
I never said anything about you before because, although sometimes you have a really mean post that makes me wonder "Is it 'she?'" you also often post thoughtful, useful things that make me think, "No way. It's somebody different." Be yourself. As long as you're sincere, that's great.
Sprak
ReplyDeleteWhere are you from, and how did you come up with your moniker?
:)
I am the OP--I was out of town for the last few days, but have contacted the parents via the email provided earlier today. I would only like to mention that the first time I saw this nanny and child, I wrote to this site and the sighting was posted. In that instance, a man on the bench by the nanny actually did say something to her. If he hadn't, I would have. After that, I've seen the nanny and child three times and each time I have lingered at least 10 mins on my way to coffee (usually around 3pm, but sometimes earlier, as in this instance) and then lingered again on my way back. I see other nannies getting a bit of a break at the Winter Garden, but they interact and the kids are usually out playing with other kids; and in the afternoon, there are almost no kids not up and running around or sitting next to their nannies with a book, snack, friend, etc. Various nannies do seem to meet up and let their kids play in the indoor area--not a bad option for a cold or wet day. However, this was one of the very few nannies (other than those caring for infants) I have ever seen that really spurred me to action. I've only written to this site once before (and actually, it was about a mom who took a day off for her child, but never took her eyes of the blackberry at a kids' museum) although I see plenty of so-so nannies.
ReplyDeleteGreat job, OP
ReplyDeleteI'm sure now that the Parents have been notified, they probably don't want this discussed further ... but please give us a heads up later and let us know if Nanny has improved her behavior ... or got canned.
Thanks!
I'm the father of the child in this case. I met with the OP and got more details about the observed behavior. After combining what we learned from the posts with some others' observations about the nanny, my wife and I decided to stop using her services. She is not a bad person, and indeed I think anyone would find her to be sweet and hard working, but it became clear that she was behaving differently when in our presence than when out with the child on her own -- and that is not something we would have noticed without an outside observer speaking up. (Speaking up twice in fact. The first post had no pictures and we probably would never have seen it. Fortunately, the OP's persistence, combined with the site's notariety, eventually brought this to our attention. Thankfully isawyournanny.blogspot.com is a place where a person can feel safe enough to be so persistent.) Again, my wife and I want to convey our extreme gratitude, to the OP and to the people who maintain and use this site. It put us on alert and prompted us to investigate, and as a result helped us quickly end some disappointing circumstances that would otherwise have taken much longer to discover.
ReplyDeleteI think the OP's actions from start to finish were nothing short of heroic. I hope her actions serve as inspiration for us all, may we all become more aware of the people around us and do everything we can to stand up for those who cannot stand up for themselves.
ReplyDeleteThank you to the father for following up with us and expressing his appreciation. We wish him and his family great happiness.
To the Parents,
ReplyDeleteThank you for letting us know your decision. It is so gratifying to hear from the parents, and know that a child has been helped by this site.
I hope you find a wonderful nanny who will give your daughter the quality of care she deserves. Please know there are nannies who love their charges and put their hearts into their jobs. Good Luck,
A Nanny
.
Good work OP, and J.D.!
As a professional in the childcare field, I commend all of those involved.
ReplyDeleteI noticed in the comments, many people dared to suggest the OP had sinister motivation for chronicling the activities of this nanny. What you fail to understand is that every day in America, children are harmed by adults. Unfortunately, we have the least control over protecting children from their parents. But when it comes to teachers, counselors, clergy, nannies, etc- all it takes is a mindful eye to look for those warning signs. Sometimes it's one inappropriate look a teacher gives a ten year old boy. Other times it's the grimaces way that a frustrated babysitter pretends to be okay with the misbehaving child, as her forehead bulges.
There are signs everywhere and this OP was tuned in to what was going on. She was aware!
Kudos.
I am SO HAPPY with this outcome. Thank you OP. I am so glad this website has done its job and has helped this poor child be free from a no-good nanny. Thanks Jane Doe for running this website. I hope everyone will remember for the future to stick up for children that are being mistreated and DO SOMETHING. Great job, OP.
ReplyDeleteOP
ReplyDeleteYou really came through, and remained persistent for this child.
There is nothing better than to actually witness a success story, because it only reinforces what this site stands for ... saving children.
To the Father:
You have no idea how much it means that you were thoughtful enough to give us an Update on your Family. I know this must have been difficult for you, but it looks like your little girl is surrounded by a lot of love and we wish you the very best.
op
ReplyDeleteGreat job keep up the good work
Jane
ReplyDeleteI think it was a great idea to cover up the Nannies photo after she was identified. The Parents said she wasn't 'that' bad, but she definately needed to suffer the consequences of her actions in this case ....
just not for all eternity.
I hope the Parents were honest about why she was let go so that maybe in the future she will behave better and do her job the way she is supposed to.
Hopefully, she also learned a valuable lesson.
Kudos to OP and Parents of the child.
And most of all to you Jane ...
for providing such an important service.
It pains me to think of all the kids that wouldn't have been helped if it weren't for your site.
This is wonderful to see that this lazy nanny was questioned and that she lost her job for her poor attitude/work ethic. Now if all lazy nannies were fired because of this site, there would nothing but great nannies in the world.
ReplyDeleteJane-you turly are the best! Thanks for a great site.
YEA!!!! I love this web site.....Thank you "Father" for the update....I am so glad you child is OK and that this nanny was fired.....she most definitely did not have your child's best interest at heart.
ReplyDeletePerhaps it wasn't out and out cruelty, but it was at the very least "total indifference" that this nanny showed her charge and should not have been tolerated any longer. It wasn't. Good job all the way on this sighting.
ReplyDeleteIf all the bad nannies were fired, we would be in trouble. Who would watch your kids?
ReplyDeleteone of the good nannies?
ReplyDeleteoh all the bad nannies must be pissed. their days are numbered!
ReplyDeletehahahah
ReplyDeletewhat about all the bad parents out there????
This blog is about nannies, not parents.
ReplyDeleteWhy don't you toot around and find yourself a nice little parent blog to besmirch?
it's so awesome to see the family were able to find about this child being neglected. I've only met 1 good nanny in all my own nanny experience. And 1 great au pair. most nannies are aweful. shame on you lady!
ReplyDelete5:12 Are you a nanny or just a poorly educated parent? No matter what caused you to write such an ignorant post, I must disagree with it as I believe there are many more good nannies than bad. In this case, justice was served thanks to this blog and JD.
ReplyDeleteI wonder what this lazy nanny was paid. Probably off the books and less than minimum wage. God forbid the woman should sit and eat an orange in peace. The horror! So go ahead dad, go out and find your little princess a slave to harken to you child's beck and call. Good lord, but you are all acting like this woman BEAT the kid!
ReplyDeleteDear Lazy Nanny,
ReplyDeleteNo one is acting as if this nanny beat the child. Caring for the children of others is a task best left for the well intentioned and energetic, not for the lazy slugs who take the jobs expecting a cake walk.
Also, lazy nanny- you too will be caught one day. Maybe not in public-because maybe you know how to dazzle the other moms in the park the same way you dazzle your employers for three minutes in the morning and 30 seconds at night. Maybe a nanny camera will catch you, maybe 5-0, all I can say is negligent nannies- you are on notice.
These nanny slackers could not maintain employment at Burger King for two days straight. Why? The lie and act and can't keep it up for ^^ that long ^^.
We're coming for you nasty nannies. Abusive nannies, sleeping in the park nannies, lethargic nannies, sexually suggestive nannies, emotionally abusive nannies, manipulative nannies, nanny thiefs and nanny whores.
Your days are numbered...
Lazy nanny,
ReplyDeleteAint no nanny making less than minimum wage! Show me one. Ever. And I'll show you a nanny not fit to change my cat's kibble.
Lazy Nanny:
ReplyDeleteIf the nanny was being paid a low salary, why did she take the job? Because she isn't a good enough nanny to get a high paying job. There are a lot of very well paid nannies in NYC. We are educated, CPR certified, and have fabulous references. We love caring for children and do so with energy and enthusiasm. The "park bench nannies" who sit around criticizing their employers and whining about their salaries will never be highly paid.
Come to Noprthern Bergen County the on a warm day the parks are littered with illegal nanies working for millionare bosses and getting paid off the books about 3 bucks or less an hour. Go on Craigslist Northern NJ and see what people are offering for a 50 hour week. One job I went on an interview for worked out to 1.50 PER HOUR!!! You better beleive these people were wealthy too. Greddy, rich people who hire slaves at slave wages. You better believe, I am plenty lazy, you get what you pay for! The kids I watch will be fed and never come to harm, but I am not going out of my way either. been there, done that, got taken advantage of. Parents who are greedy and can afford to pay what we deserve should also be on notice! We know what to look for, we know how to fool you. Sites like this only teach us how to work the system differently. I find evey nannycam in every house within a few days. Like I said your kids will be safe in my care just not catered to. I enjoy watching TV and playing on your computer while your kids entertain themselves. Keep paying 10 bucks an hour or less and thats what you get!
ReplyDeleteWell, lazy cockroach, if you're happy making $1.50/hr then more power to you. You've just admitted you will never be worth more to anyone than that and seem proud of your ignorance and dishonesty. Too bad no one you come into contact with actually likes you or has any respect for you. Because most people are not that stupid, not even babies, and if you think you're fooling people, you just wait for the punch line.
ReplyDeleteINS, anyone?
la cucaracha,
ReplyDeleteyou work for that because you are not worth more. and there aren't many millionaires in your area. for god sake's, it's freakin Jersey!
That's where nannies go to live out their days with their cab driver spouses and birth little nannettes and butlers.
8:17 I'm laughing so hard I'm crying--agree about your opinion of NJ
ReplyDeleteYeah you are bright ...Alpine. NJ is one of the richest towns in the Nation, morons. we are home to Bon Jovi, George Benson, Bruce Springsteen, until recently Eddie Murphy, . We are one of the richest states. Bergen County boasats one of the highest average income rates in the nation. Idiots. Oh and nice racial, bigoted implications that I might be Hispanic but I'm not, I am a resident and legal so go shit in your hat. Oh I am also not the A2Asshole you guys all rant about.
ReplyDeleteNoticed the comments earlier about how bad this blog is with regards to people flaming one another without reason, name calling, etc.... if you are really looking for some drama, go to the IMDB (internet movie database) board for Sex and the City. It is insane over there.... not so much for a while actually bc the biggest brat of them all hasn't really been posting her venom in a month or so (thankfully, sometimes you can actually have a discussion now!) but it sometimes is, and especially used to be, totally and completely impossible to ask an innocent question or even to reply to one without getting bashed. The names and rude implications made there were not to be believed! Whew.
ReplyDeleteI didn't think the nanny's salary was in question here, just the fact that she totally ignored the baby she was taking care of. Nanny salaries are a different topic and have no bearing upon this particular case. To all who acted with concern for this child, good job!.
ReplyDeleteYes, and anybody who bases how they treat a child upon how much they are being paid by the parents should NEVER be in the childcare business.
ReplyDeleteChildren are people, and anybody who takes advantage of the fact that they are to young and too small to stand up for themselves is pure scum.
Lazy Nanny,
ReplyDeleteWell I hate to detract from a great post but New Jersey is a sewer. Jersey affecianados usually play the Alpine or Saddle River Card. Yes, those are two nice areas but they don't compare to the nicers areas in Westchester. You've got huge houses here and there but Sammy the the sou chef lives just 2 streets over in a multifamily house with a a rickety stepladder going up to his illegal 3rd floor apartment. People who brag of going down the shore... ew. The Jersey shore. Just ew.
But I love John Corzine.
I am a nanny who can pick and choose the jobs I want to take because I have a lot of experience and good references. I would never work for children I didn't like. I have to find the children likable from the get go and find the parents respectable- otherwise I won't take the job.
ReplyDeleteLazy Nanny
ReplyDeleteDon't worry. We won't mix you up with 2xAs, because she spells ALOT better than you do.
Well, good. At least we know Cockroach isn't taking a $1.50/hr job away from a hardworking, well-meaning illegal immigrant.
ReplyDeleteHaha. This one's easy to pick on because she's such an idiot.
ReplyDeleteThat's what you get for writing such an ignorant post, Lazynanny!
I hope some day, some where - somebody catches you for the awful job your doing with the children in your care lazynanny, and we will be nothing but thrilled to see you up on this site!
ReplyDeleteSpeaking of spelling, it is a lot!
ReplyDeleteAre you seriously trying to compare a simple typing mistake with SERIOUS spelling errors?
ReplyDeleteSo I forgot to separate the A.
You need to get a life.
Cheers!
great job Dad..we are proud of you...you took the right step...get her out of your childs life fast...
ReplyDeleteHow funny would it be if this was our resident psycho at 12:59, trying to rag someone who's just pointing out that the lazy pond scum of a nanny who's spelling sucks, spells better than her.
ReplyDeleteIt's kind of like breaking your finger so you can't pull the trigger.
Did you get that? lol
Sorry, I meant to say
ReplyDelete"cockroach of a nanny".
JH, with all due respect, UP YOURS!
ReplyDeleteNJ is far from being a sewer. And just where the hell do you get off being so damn nasty? Oh right- because Westchester is filled with uptight, suburban trophy and starter wives. It also boasts the great towns and cities of Sleepy Hollow, Mount Vernon and Yonkers to name a few. All of these and many more have their share of horrendous, poor and crime laden areas. Ever venture near the abandoned Ford plant in Sleepy Hollow? Talk about your illegal apartments! But hey, the illegals housed there 15 per 4 room apartment are likely a better quality illegal than the ones in Jersey according to JH. Oh and let's not forget charming Mamaroneck, where a friend of mine rented her first roach and rat infested illegal apartment. And for your information, I worked In Tarry Town and a few other of your Westchester county towns and now make way more money working for families in Upper Bergen County. Besides, I got tired of the Westchester husbands hitting on me while their self-centered, shrew-like wives went to spa or the country club. Now JH, feel free to try to start a pissing match, and name all the bad places in NJ, but you won't get any further response, you are a waste of time and energy.
To everyone else, sorry to post such angry words here but people who put down NJ really piss me off.
JH, are you just angry because you used to bang Sammy, the sous chef (you can't even spell it right) but he dumped your ass while you were in some skanky notel motel in Atlantic City?
ReplyDelete11:55 WAY TO GO!
ReplyDeleteand JH, I must echo the sentiment of UP YOURS!
looks like someone can't let it go.
ReplyDeleteLazyNanny and New Jersey are made for each other. A failed place and a failed nanny. And if Alpine really has godawful Bon Jovi there, than it is completely equal to, if not worse, than the slums like Paterson, Bayonne, Union etc.
ReplyDelete