Received Friday, February 15, 2008
Physical description of caregiver: Mexican American Nanny between the ages of 25-30, approximate 5'2, 120 lbs, medium brown hair, brown eyes. Nanny was dressed in a white sweater, cargo pants and brown tennis shoes.
Physical description of involved child/children: Three Caucasian boys. Approximately 2, 5 & 7/8 or thereabouts. The youngest child had blonde hair, the other two boys had brown hair. The youngest child wore his hair longer, the middle boy had a buzz cut, and the oldest boy had thick, fairly long hair. The oldest boy was wearing an orange shirt with a brown collar. It had long sleeves and one white stripe across the chest. The boys were well dressed, and very energetic. I noticed them when they passed by the window of the restaurant, and thought to myself, 'those are some good looking boys'.
Address or venue of observed incident: McDonald's in Westwood, On Santa Monica, off Beverly Glen.
Date and time of incident: Yesterday, (2/14) at 12:30 PM, I think. (I should have written this yesterday.)
Detailed description of what you witnessed: The nanny allowed the two older boys to sit together, which would have been fine had she supervised them in any capacity. She sat at the table, with the youngest child. The nanny was reading a paperback book while with her fingers picking at a hamburger that was on the table and without even looking, she was feeding it to the child. She would pull of part of the bun and the burger and somewhat roll it together between her fingers and then put it in front of the youngest boy. While still reading, she would reach in and take a french fry, put in her mouth, like a cigarette and then pull it out, breaking off the part that had been in her mouth and give it to the child. This was disturbing enough, but this is not the problem. The older boys were sitting next to us, behind us, sitting directly behind my girlfriend, I was facing them. While we were eating our meal, a piece of ice came sailing over onto our table. The boys cracked up laughing and I did nothing, not yet. The boys were loud, obnoxious and chewing with their mouth open and making childish jokes about seafood. The nanny paid no mind to them. She continued to read her book, absently feeding the young child the food that was soaked in her saliva. A french free came flying over the table and landed in my friend's salad. At that same time, I made eye contact with the child who I could see, the oldest and gave him a stern look and said, "could you not do that?". They were quiet for two minutes before spilling an enormous soda underneath their table that flooded underneath our table. This caused them to erupt in laughter again. Instead of cleaning it up, one of them at least began to tap his feet in it or march in place, splattering it further towards the back of my friend's ankles. At that point, I stood up, caught the attention of about 4 surrounding tables who all looked at me, waiting to see what I would say and then finally the nanny who looked up quizzically. I said, "you need to do something about this". The nanny looked at me, looked at the boys, the floor, the mess on the table and said to me, "I try and I try with these kids and their parents teach them no manners". Yes, that was her response. It had nothing to do with the total lack of supervision or interaction, or her absorption in her novel. It was of course, the parents fault. The nanny made a half ass attempt at cleaning up the table, and was soon helped by a worker with a bucket. No dount because of the glares of other customers, she gathered the children and left.
Description of vehicle, bag, stroller that may aid in identifying involved caregiver: I noticed they drove out of the parking lot in gold Isuzu Rodeo about 4 minutes later.
I think it's likely that *no one* is teaching these boys much of anything good.
ReplyDeleteKids are kids. We use to do crazy stuff to. You sound like an old fart.
ReplyDeleteMy experience is that parents with high standards hire real professional nannies, who share their expectations for good manners, and civilized behavior.
ReplyDeleteSo yes, this is a lousy nanny, but the parents hired her, and I bet if they saw this post, they would just say boys will be boys.
10:45,
ReplyDeleteDo you really think this behavior is OK? These children are going to have a rough time as they get older, they will be the ones teachers don't like, and parents don't want their kids to be friends with.
Good manners are basically showing consideration for others. You are not doing you children a favor by not teaching that.
Yeah, you guys are right. I reread the post. It wasn't just little things that they did. Spilling soda on the floor totally unacceptable. Kids will be kids but yeah, this was more than a little misbehavior.
ReplyDeleteMaybe the nanny just needed a break? The older kids were on her nerves? This is a report about bad children not a bad nanny. And the nanny had to chew the kids food for it, so? That takes a lot of love to do that.
ReplyDelete12:48
ReplyDeleteYou MUST be joking, right?
8:31 I'm with you on this.
ReplyDeleteThere is no reason to a) be chewing a child's food, esp when it's not your own- it's called Gerber. and b) I understand needing a break, butcha do whatcha gotta do to get the job done. Especially when you're out in public. You don't let your charges ruin someone elses meal.
OP definately had a lot of patience. Of course I'm not sure what more could've been done, but I probably would've gone off on the Nanny. Her behavior was just as abominable as the kids'.
ReplyDeleteThey have no structure or guidance and if they're allowed to act like this in a restaurant, I can only imagine how they act at home. Kids who have even the slightest of manners do not behave this way, and it's entirely the Parent's fault.
However, that doesn't detract from the Nanny her responsiblity to at the very least pick the boys up by the seat of their pants and march them right out of there immediately for disrupting the other diners.
I am a nanny, and I love kids. However, when my husband and I choose to sit out I specifically sit where there are no children at the immediate tables. Yes, I ask the hostess to do so. I usually get a strange look at first, but once I explain that I'm a nanny and my husband is a teacher and that we deal with kids all day, they usually laugh and agree. Going out to eat is a relaxing experience for us to share together. Although this was McDonalds, I would have removed myself from that table and gone to the other end of the restaurant.
ReplyDelete12:48, OMG. Have you ever actually seen a human child? At 2 years old, they do nnot need a french fry pre-chewed for them. Why does it "take a lot of love" to soak some food in your saliva and make it all mushy, then spit it out and stuff it into another person's mouth for them. Gross.
ReplyDeleteCali
ReplyDeleteI imagine 12:48 was being either facetious, or just a complete moron. Take your pick.
There have been studies that show HIV/AIDS can be passed through pre-chewed food. Not extensive research yet as its not common in this country, but it's been shown that if you prechew food for a baby and have any type of wound in your mouth (swollen gums, a cut etc) and the baby is teething, than it can be passed on.
ReplyDeleteI don't believe that. Its not that easy to transmit. Once, it hits the air I think it dies.
ReplyDeleteNow I think its gross what she did. And yeah, I am sure she can pass her cold or other illnesses to the child.
Even oral sex they say the risk of hiv is so so slight.
ReplyDeleteThere was an article in the NY Times recently. In third world countries they have found cases of mothers passing HIV through chewed food. It is transmitted though blood, not saliva. Mom has no dental care, baby is teething, so blood from mom's bleeding gums to baby's raw gums.
ReplyDeleteThe HIV/AIDS virus is in the blood/saliva and then immediately passed into babys (teething at 2 y.o.) mouth. It can survive, and can infect the baby.
ReplyDeleteSlight chance or not ...
is it one you would take with YOUR child?
Some scientific facts I looked up:
ReplyDelete*There is no scientific evidence that HIV is passed through saliva, tears, or sweat. (O.k., so not through saliva, common misconception.)
*The virus cannot live outside the body, so you cannot be infected through toilet seats, phones or water fountains.
However, if Nanny has had recent dental work, mouth sores, bleeding gums ... it is possible a teething baby could contract it.
Still a slight chance, but not worth the risk.
*
I thought it was transmitted through saliva, too.
ReplyDeleteLearn something new every day!
Actually, it has been proven that several hundred children got HIV from eating pre-chewed food. While HIV does not live in saliva, it does live in blood. Anyone with bleeding gums (And gums can bleed so slightly, you can't really notice with a mild case of gingavitus) can pass any blood-bourne illness onto anyone else who eats food they chew.
ReplyDeleteAnd pre-chewing food is common in African nations, the Carribean and Hispanic nations.
So this is gross and dangerous.
scary. i hope the mom sees this and gets rid of this nanny. stat!
ReplyDeletei try not to have high expectations on the rare occasion that we eat at mcdonald's. no, i do not think the kids' behavior was proper. i'm just saying...
ReplyDeleteCould the nanny have been an Eskimo? They chew the food up for their babies.
ReplyDeleteYou bet your ass you can give AIDS to a child this way. And not to sound at all prejudice, but certain countries have 80 percent HIV infection rates. Be careful comes from where your nanny.
ReplyDelete"Three such cases were reported in the United States from 1993-2004, government scientists said Wednesday in a presentation in Boston at a scientific conference.
It's blood, not saliva, that carried the virus because in at least two of the cases the infected mothers had bleeding gums or mouth sores, according to investigators at the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention."
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20080206/...IotMDUk42s0NUE
Here is that URL in shorter form so it fits:
ReplyDeletehttp://tinyurl.com/338tmq
This is a Yahoo news article. From my above post.
This is a Newsweek article from LAST WEEK on giving children aids by prechewing their food. !!!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.newsweek.com/id/108407
This happened in Westwood which is Hollywood, not some sticks town in the south. You have to be careful who you hire. Hire a nanny of the same culture as yourself. And take it from me, I have a very good male, alway hetero, non IV drug using friend who has HIV and a cousin who has HIV and they don't tell anyone. I'm sorry but I believe in testing for the Hiv.
I don't know its hard to believe. Maybe, these babies were born with the virus. I mean you can't do the regular HIV test on an infant. Theres special tests that are done. Maybe, these babies had it already?
ReplyDeleteWhat about people that kiss? They don't get HIV.
imho, this post sounds made up and overly dramatic.
ReplyDeleteThe overly dramatic thing is the reference to AIDS! I have seen this happen. You will see a lot of cautious older latinas do this.
ReplyDeletedo what?
ReplyDeletewhatever happened to complete sentences?
I am having a hard time understanding some of these posts, too. They seem, somehow, incomplete and confusing. I do not mean to be critical but just needing some clarification.
ReplyDeleteYou will see a lot of older latina women chew the food up for their young babies or the kids they take care of.
ReplyDeleteWell, there you go! Now THAT'S a complete sentence.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
Yes, you obnoxious old biddy. It is the fault of the parents. Maybe if the mother stayed home and took care of them herself, her children wouldn't feel the need to act out in negative ways to get attention...maybe they would learn some manners if their parents had a sense of decency or responsibility. Treating children like accessories leads to the children raising themselves because no matter who you hire that person will never love your child enough to care if he/she grows up to be a well-adjusted and moral human being. That SHOULD be the parents responsibility. Take pity on those poor children....
ReplyDelete