Wednesday

Wee Play Indoor Gym in Nanuet, NY

Received Wednesday, January 30, 2008
This happened today, (1/30). Your nanny, who looked like she might be Filipina, was looking after two twin boys who looked to be about three years old. They were blonde and identically dressed in blue sweatpants and light grey sweatshirts with a dog on the back. I was at the play space for about an hour, and your nanny was on the phone for the entire hour, most of the time, not even watching the kids. I seriously do not think she said a word to either boy once the whole time I was there. When I was leaving, she was sitting at a lunch table with the boys, who were eating. She was STILL on the phone. (I believe her cell phone was red.)There was a little toddler backpack on the lunch table that said "visiting grandma's" or something similar, and had the name "Ashling" monogrammed on it.If this is your nanny, I'd ask a friend to shadow her one day. It seems that she is totally and completely uninterested in the kids she watches.

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

It amazes me how someone can pay attention to their own kids while watching other people so closely.

You really paid attention to her for an hour??

Anonymous said...

Were the kids playing and having a good time for this hour? Were they in any danger at all? Were they trying to get her attention and she wasn't responding? If not, what's the big deal! Kids go to play spaces like this to play with other kids, not their nanny!

NJNanny said...

When I take my charges to an indoor playground, I let them
play. I am there the whole time but like most other parents and nannies alike I am reading the paper or on my phone. I take them to the bathroom when they need to go, make sure they stay hydrated and make sure they eat but other than that, they play and I relax and maybe chat with other parents and nannies. I am sure if I was spotted there I would be considered neglectful as well. So would pretty much every other person there with a kid. I think in a contained environment like an indoor playground an hour is not a long time for the kids to be playing on their own so long as there is an adult present in case they are needed. I don't agree with the nanny talking on the cell the whole time but hey an hour is only an hour. She was feeding them and they were safe. I will be honest and admit I have at times been on the phone for an hour or more since I work during most reasonable business hours and sometimes I have banking or other affairs to see to. It does not mean I am not aware of my charges and their needs. At Kids Kingdon in Edgewater NJ (No longer there) I have seen many a mom, dad and nanny engaging in all sorts of social and business activities while their children played in a safe, secure place, usually for more than an hour

Anonymous said...

You have no idea what the circumstances of her phone call were. There could have been an emergency, she could be speaking with a long-lost family member, anything... She had the kids in a controlled environment, they were playing. It wasn't like they were teetering on the subway tracks while she gabbed away. You need to get a life.

Anonymous said...

She didn't say the woman needed to be arrested. Calm down those who are attacking her. She just wanted to suggest that the children's loved ones observe her in action a little more closely to make sure this was an isolated incident. That's the point of the website. The OP is always attacked: either she was too nosy, or she didn't call the cops or confront the nanny quick enough. The attackers need to relax or there won't be a site.

Anonymous said...

Thank goodness they closed Kids Kingdom. That place smelled really bad. And was dirty. Toys were all broken and dirty. Smelled like a daycare center

Anonymous said...

My friend has an excellent nanny. Very attentive to the kids, flexible and helpful and just a nice person and joy to be around. A year ago my neighbor was told by a person she didn't know very well that her nanny was spending the whole afternoon at the park and after school on her cell phone and ignoring her kids. She asked a few other Moms who regularly see her about and was told, yes she has been on the phone an unusual amount of time for her but she never left the kids unattended or was uncaring towards them. (She's one of those nannies who is always climbing on the jungle gym and running around the park with the kids, so it was unusual behavior for her to be on a bench on the phone.) She took her nanny out for lunch and asked her about it. Ended up she was having a personal issue that was temporary, but was taking up time during the day as she tried to resolve it. My friend offered her some time off to deal with the issue and asked her when she returns to limit her time on the phone while the kids were around. The nanny was relieved to have the time to properly resolve the issue and went back to rarely taking cell phone calls while out with the kids when she returned to work. Sometimes it's a matter of perception. The Mom should check in (or have someone she knows and trust) to confirm the siting before she concludes the nany is poor.

Anonymous said...

Don't attack the OP here, he/she merely suggested having a friend shadow the nanny. If she is truly a good nanny, then this should be evident. However, it was pointed out the nanny did not watch the kids or even speak to them, even while eating at a table with them, for AN HOUR!! This would bother me if it were my nanny. This is her job and taking an hour long call is not appropriate (unless of course as some people suggested it was some emergency circumstance) Even then, maybe take some time off if needed and too busy to watch the kids you are paid to watch.

Anonymous said...

The boys had each other to play with, and were in a contained place, and were fed, so I don't think this was a negligent nanny.
I must say though, there have been times when I have wanted to say get off your @%*# phone and supervise your kids. I get tired of dealing with children who are throwing sand, grabbing toys etc. while mom/nanny is oblivious on the phone.

mom said...

I have to admit that when my kids were happily at play with other kids at the park or pool, I often sat and read or talked with my friends...and sometimes they were playing for hours at a time (especially at the swimming pool.) Of course, if they needed anything I was there to help, but I kind of enjoyed the "break" of not having to entertain them 24/7 myself. (I realized one day pretty early on in my parenting career that I can only play with a Fisher Price garage for so long before lapsing into a state of catatonia.) I happily let them be when they were happily playing and not in need of my assistance.
However, if this were my nanny I would definitely want to be sure that she was simply taking advantage of the time the kids were otherwise occupied and that it is not her general habit to be on the phone and not interacting with them. Any human being who spends her entire day with small children and does not take little "mental health" breaks from time to time throughout the day is going to burn completely out in very short order.

I am not criticizing OP though. I think this is a good post and now hopefully mom will find out about it and can take some time to assess the situation properly.

☼marypoppin'pills☼ said...

OP never said anything negative about the Nanny ... so why be so harsh? She didn't even insinuate the Nanny was negligent.
All she advised was to have someone "shadow" the Nanny.

One hour on the phone is a bit much. Not having any interaction with either child for the whole hour is not ideal, either.

There is absolutely nothing wrong with suggesting a friend or family member check the Nanny out just to be sure things are o.k.

OP - good post.
And I don't understand why some people criticize a poster by saying they must've been ignoring their own kids while observing. Is it not possible to interact with your own kids while keeping an eye on your surroundings? If not, then I feel sorry for you. I wouldn't feel very safe if I were your kid.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, nothing wrong at all with the suggestion that you have someone "tail" another person without their knowledge. That is perfectly on the up and up. I would LOVE to have someone following me around without my knowledge, perfectly legit and acceptable behavior.

your supervisor said...

anon @ 10:39,
A nanny has no right to expect some sort of privacy while she is out and about with someone else's child. Most of America works in a capacity where we have supervisors to report to. If nannies had some sort of supervisory body over them, perhaps they wouldn't behave as callously or repulsively as they do to their charges. These times, they are a changing.

Parents, pick a day next week, and track down your nanny and observe her from a distance. Drop in on your daycare provider. Come home early. Letting these nannies (the ones that demand it be so) continue to work without benefit of supervisory capacity is not working for me.

Anonymous said...

Oh, right! I forgot that once you become a nanny, you have given up all your normal every day human rights. you are now a 'thing" to be treated as your boss sees fit. Silly me forgetting this!

BTW, does your boss follow you around all day long?

Anonymous said...

uhm nanny,
you don't get to go to ballistic when someone suggests that you be checked up on. I deal all day with natural resources and accounts and I have to check in with coworkers and superiors periodically. You are working with helpless children, who cannot speak for themselves. You have some nerve to suggest it is outlandish for an employer to drop in on you unexpectedly. Sounds to me like you have your act down and are afraid to get caught.

Bad nanny. Very bad nanny.

☼marypoppin'pills☼ said...

12:27
Most Employees DO have a Boss strutting around the Office and breathing down their necks.
They want to make sure you are doing YOUR JOB.

Same with Nannies. Nobody is dehumanizing them by suggesting someone take a day to go and check them out just to be sure they are doing THEIR JOB.

Anonymous said...

Your supervisor

Good post. Excellent point:

"A nanny has no right to expect some sort of privacy while she is out and about with someone else's child."

mom said...

I'd like to think that if I was a nanny I would welcome as many surprise visits and "clandestine observations" as the parents wished to make. I would hope that they would see what a fantastic nanny I was and be incentivized to keep me in their employ...by paying me well, working with me on the rare occasion when I have a personal emergency and treating me with the respect I would deserve.

I'm just saying....

Anonymous said...

To 12:30 this is 12:27 here-

I am not a nanny, I am a SAHM. But, I used to work in the corporate world and, no, my boss did not follow me around, breathing down my neck. he stayed in his office about 80% of the day. My work was proof enough that I was doing a good job.

Anonymous said...

12;27 here again-

forgot to add, dropping in on a nanny is very different from having someone follow her around all day which was the original suggestion. I have no problem with the drop in, I have a problem with people being followed all day long without them knowing it.

cali mom said...

12:27/2:04, if "your work" is an infant, then they cannot speak for themselves. Caring for a tiny infant or a toddler is hardly the same as producing a finished project or making sales numbers. There's not much concrete evidence to review. Hence, the need for SOMEONE to always be very aware of how the nanny is doing her or his job. I see nothing wrong with that. And no, if you are out and about in public, you have NO right to expect any privacy whatsoever. None.

NannyKins said...

Anything that is clandestine is NOT on the up and up.

However as a nanny I have no problem if parents drop in, come home early or have me bump into them or a friend when I am out and about. However, I doubt I would work for someone who had me followed all day. The idea just creeps me out.

☼marypoppin'pills☼ said...

Cali mom,
Excellent post.

Nannykins,
I think the point of an Employer checking up on their Nanny is that it be done covertly. One would hope the Nanny wouldn't know they were being followed, so as not to 'creep them out'.

Anonymous said...

Mom is right. My employer has been told how great I was with the children by other parents who see me in the playground, neighbors in the building, and teachers of classes we have taken. I am happy to be observed, because I am proud of my performance. I want my employers to feel confident that their children are safe and happy. If you are a good nanny, it is to your benefit to have people report what they see.
A Nanny

Anonymous said...

8:57

And the nannies that are nervous about being watched, or just don't like it, are probably the ones we need to worry about.

mom said...

I had one nanny friend, who I met at the pool because her charge and my daughter played well together. There was a three year old and an infant that she watched. We arranged several play dates away from the pool also, because we enjoyed each other's company as well...even thought the nanny was college age and I was in my 30s. I was so incredibly impressed with how she cared for those children. She treated them just as I treated mine as a mom. The mom was close with her as well and had no problem, and did not feel threatened, with her treating them that way. They worked as extensions of one another so the kids had consistent care and discipline no matter which of them was watching them.

I made it a point several times to report to the motherr how incredibly wonderful her nanny was with the children and that she should consider herself very lucky to have her because I had never seen another nanny come anywhere close to the caliber of care her children were getting. I told her that her nanny was the only nanny I had ever seen that I would even consider leaving my children with if I ever found myself in a position where I had to have full time childcare.

What do you think that did for the nanny's job security and value to the family? Great nannies everywhere should consider it a privelege to be observed and have the opportunity to get the recognition they deserve.

In fact, all nannies should realize that when they are secretly observed they will get exactly the recognition they deserve. So, why does this threaten so many of them? I think that says quite a bit.

NannyInTexas said...

I am a nanny for a wonderful two year old. I take her out all over town and I do get on my phone a lot but I also interact with her, she ALWAYS takes precedent over the phone call and many many times I will interrupt the person I am talking to on the phone to talk to her.

We run into friends of the parents all the time and I don't mind in the least because I am doing nothing wrong, the parents come home at all different hours of the day and again I don't care but I would care if I was followed secretly all day. That's a little too much in my eyes.

Anonymous said...

She was hired to watch the kids and not to play with herself or her mobile. a couple of phone calls are more than enough. but for an hour. who does she think she is ??? Hillary Clinton ?? can't believe some of the comments here are even in favor of her wrong doings. Man ! this world is getting sicker ! and full of sick people. I wonder what the hell went wrong ???

Anonymous said...

actually, some of the comments here make me PUKE !!!