San Francisco Kezar Stadium and Buena Vista Park in CA

Received Thursday, December 13, 2007
Nanny: Central American appearance, 30's, long hair.
Kids: two, one boy, maybe 3-4; one girl under 2
San Francisco Kezar Stadium and Buena Vista Park

I am reporting an incident observed Wednesday, Dec 12, after observing this same "bad nanny" accidentally last week with the same kids! It made me wonder if such a site existed and I am glad it does because it should! In today's case the nanny was seated on the lawn of the field of Kezar stadium with a second nanny (by the way the temps were cold and cloudy in the 50's today-- not a "park" day at all) while the kids were all the way on top of the stairs, a fair estimate would be more than 50 yards away. I noticed because the kids were totally on their own near a track that people walk on up above the stairs. One was playing with a rusty garbage can. The other was playing with the splintery benches. The nanny could not have cared less. She was sitting with the stroller and the second nanny who was at least arm's length from her kid. I observed the same woman and the same kids a week before. I saw two children seemingly alone on a walking path that surrounds Buena Vista Park. I looked up the steep hill and the nanny was more than a full city block ahead of them, munching an apple. At one point she looked behind and called and the boy ran to catch up, but the baby was so far behind and no one was watching her! This was not a case of a mom about 3 feet ahead waiting for a toddler. This nanny was in her own world. So sad.


givelove said...

That sort of thing drives me crazy - seeing a nanny so FAR from her charges. Those kids could get snatched and she wouldn't notice for too long to be helpful in finding them. Gah!

Also, where I am a nanny, temperatures in the 50s are certainly a "park day." I'll take my kids out any day, even in winter, as long as they're willing to dress for the weather and as long as they feel like being outside. When we get cold, we come home and have a tea party.

Anonymous said...

Temps in the 50's is a park day. I live in MN and I saw kids outside this week when it was in the 20's. So in California you can't complain it being cold in the 50's.

Quinn said...

I take my kids out unless it is below zero. Of course, I live in Minnesota and kids in San Francisco aren't used to that. But is 50 really not a park day?

pasadenamom said...

Well, my little guy is now 25 months old, and let me tell you, he is an adventurous and rambunctious. I would be in a park at a playdate sitting and chatting with other mommies while he would be halfway acroos the field. Some moms would freak and point out to me that he is sooooo far away. I simply tell them that as long as he is safe, and I keep a watchfull eye on him, I don't worry. He is not one of those kids who is tolerant of his mommy or anyone else helicoptering over him. You know what, Irespect that him, that he needs his space to do whatever it is he needs to do to leanr to survive in this calus world.

However, I am his mom. That nanny needs to keep a more watchfull eye on those kids. Perhaps she should keep them closer to her, all in the name that they are not her own children to do as she thinks is best.

I don't know, i think it's best to just not over react. moms like that just drive me nuts.

Btw OP, I took my tot to the Autry museum yesturday, that's near the L.A. zoo. I'll admit it was a little cool, but he survived and so did al his little tot friends who were there with us. They were running around in the field as happy as can be.

Like I said, it's best to not over react.

pasadenamom said...

gee, sorry for al the spelling errors. we have a playdate to get to, and i was trying to get a word in before we leave. lol....

pasadenamom said...

gee, sorry for al the spelling errors. we have a playdate to get to, and i was trying to get a word in before we leave. lol....

Kate in CO said...

Over react??? Wow...I'm in shock pasadenamom!! I think you need some parenting classes. This nanny was WAY away from her charges. She's being PAID to watch them......heck, if you want to let your child run off while you're "chatting with other mommies" that's your prerogative.....but, it's not hers! I'm still wondering why some people come here to defend these nannies......sheeeesh!!!

erics mom said...

geeze I wish it was in the 50's here, instead of getting snow and ice raining down

fg said...

where are you eric's mom, that you are getting such lousy weather?

erics mom said...


pasadenamom said...

*kate in co, did you miss something? i think you did!

I also said.....
"However, I am his mom. That nanny needs to keep a more watchfull eye on those kids. Perhaps she should keep them closer to her, all in the name that they are not her own children to do as she thinks is best."

Like I said, "let's not over react."

Anonymous said...

I would give anything for 50's again. Here in MA its been raining and snowing for so long that I've barely been able to take my charge outside in almost 2 weeks (he's only 6 months old so playing in the snow is out lol)

Anonymous said...

yes, and its depressing being stuck at home

cali mom said...

Pasadenamom, are you the same one who was asking in all seriouisness "what parent hasn't lost their child in public for a few minutes or so at least once?".

You should not have children. If your little guy is running around 100 yards from you and someone picks him up and starts running away away while you're busy entertaining yourself "chatting with other moms", do you REALLY think you could stop them? If there was a massive big plop of dogshit in the field that you couldnn't see from the other end of the park and he accidentally crawled through it, then decided to feel it, taste it and play with it, would you be glad that you were "giving him his space" and allowing him to learn to deal with his callous environment?? If he got stung by a bee and started screaming, would you have ANY idea what had happened from 100 yards away, so that you could have a clue as to what needed to be done?

The nanny that OP wrote about is horrible and irresponsible and her actions are unacceptable. I hope the p arents see this and fire her.

And yeah, 50 degrees is a bit chilly but after a point you just have to bundle up and deal with being out in the cold, cause kids need to be able to get out and play.

Anonymous said...

calimom- did you actually tell pasadenamom that she shouldn't have kids!?!?! I can't even use characters (@#$%) to describe what I think of you, what a b*tch!

cali mom said...

Well, I'd say same to you, except that I wouldn't actually bother to think about you.

Aunty Rhea said...

Just wrong.

I understand kids who don't want to have someone 'helicoptering' over them, I nannied for one for a year.

When we went to the park, he would tell me to sit on the bench or stay out of the play area sometimes, so he could be a big boy. I always respected that, but I never let him get so far. If he went to a different play structure, I went and sat next to it. If he went to another side of the structure, so did I. If he went into the field to run and play, I did too.

You should always be close enough that if someone wants to run up and snatch the kid and run off, you will be at the child's side and picking them up before the other person gets close enough to touch him/her. You should be able to hear every word that anyone says to your child/charge, and see dangerous objects on the ground before the child has a chance to touch them/eat them.

Letting them be independent is one thing. Setting up the ideal situation for child predators is another.

i got the apple! said...

This isn't a case of anyone over reacting, and to say so, sounds as if you are attempting to justify your own subpar parenting skills. I don't give thumbs up to mediocre unsafe child care, whether it's a parent or a nanny providing it!

So often people use the term "helicoptering" as a means to support not truly being involved and partaking in their child's activities. Let's get this straight, no one is expecting you to stay glued to your child's side not allowing them to play or move an inch, they are asking you to get up off your ass and stay close enough that you can protect them, it's not that hard of a concept to grasp people. This nanny is not doing her job (and without naming any names, neither is a certain parent in this post.) Giving "space" is one thing, but let's be honest how much "space" is truly necessary (and safe) for a small toddler? Don't project your need for space (to talk to other mommies) onto your child, and don't justify being that far a way with excuses of how 'independent' he is, you are an adult and should know better than to allow your child to wonder that far a way from you. Children do not understand the dangers of the world, that is what parents are for, to teach, help, nurture, protect and guide, and I don't see how you are doing any of this from across a field!

Now back to the original subject at hand, we are not referring to an older child who has reasoning abilities, and grasps important dangers of the world, we are referring to a very young toddler with no concept of danger. I think often times people justify their laziness, by watching other people whom are just as lazy as themselves (well, she's doing it too, it must be okay!) It's not okay. We all get tired and need a break, and we all get bored and would like to chat, and if you must do either of these things either take "mommy time out" or do it after work (for those on the job) or do them while multitasking and keeping up with the child who needs your attention and supervision. I have heard and personally witnessed enough horror stories (from accidents, to kidnappings) and I'd much rather be "over protective" and "helicoptering" than calling the police in a panic when a child is missing or at a funeral when they are dead because they "needed space"!

marypoppin'pills said...

Pasadenamom -

"Some moms would freak and point out to me that he is sooooo far away"

... and this really doesn't give you a hint?

Kate in PA said...

Aside from the general conversation about how far away to be from the child, did anyone notice that the children were at the top of stairs? With kids that age, you really need to helicopter if they're at the top of stairs. And under no circumstances should an under-2 be climbing the stairs alone!

Not to mention the rusty trash can (tetanus, anyone?) and splintery benches...

I hope these parents check in on their nanny and make some changes.

Shocked Mommy :( said...

Pasadenamom, all it takes is one second and your child could be gone. ONCE I turned away from my child to chat with friends for all of 1 minute, and my son was gone. It took several of us to find him hiding behind bushes, with a river not even 20 some feet away! You bet as a mom it's your job to helicoptor over your child! I agree with Cali mom on this one. Really, why did you have kids? For show? Careless moms like Britney Spears loose their children for a reason! If it's too much trouble for you to keep your child safe, please, for their own welfare, hire a nanny!

Shocked Mommy said...

Anonymous at 611, why does it shock you that calimom told pasadena mom she shouldn't have kids? Does this mean you condone child neglect? That's what it is when you're too busy being a chatty cathy with your friends and something does happen to your child. Pasadena mom needs to get a clue and not behave like Britney. Britney didn't loose her children because she didn't love them, it was because her parenting skills lacked big time, and saftey was not an issue with her. Pasadena mom sounds like the type that wouldn't yell at her toddler aged child if they unbuckled themselves while a car was in motion. BAD PARENTING, people!

toonces the cat who would drive said...

i got the apple,
"So often people use the term "helicoptering" as a means to support not truly being involved and partaking in their child's activities."

Agreed 100 percent.

To call another parent a helicopter parent is usually to justify your own lack of involvement.

Aunty Rhea said...

shocked mommy...

are there any more things you'd like to say about a woman you have never met and only seen/heard what the media wants you to?

Or, are you one of those people who thinks the media is unbiased and always 100% truthful?

Either way, stop comparing the world to Brit. We get it. You don't like her. Move on.

Anonymous said...

I know its a scary world out there but some people just need to breathe..I guess it depends on their age and maturity level but at some point as long as you can see the kids its all good, especially if you're in a wide open space with few people or a park enclosed by fence. And by the way when mine was two she would have never played with dog poo! Know your kid and set your own boundaries.

Also, some of you people attack other moms as if they just admitted they are always drunk or they have an IQ of 85. Most moms know when kids are in a safe place or not. I'm sure Pasadena mom does. I admire that she doesn't have him on a leash. He will surely be someone special someday. Maybe a world traveller or an archaeologist, not afraid to discover new things. What will yours be doing, safely ticking away thier lives in an office cubicle? If everyone parented exactly like you over the top, OVER protective parents, I swear there would be no poets.

Aunty Rhea said...

And yet, 3:36... we would have alot less missing and dead children.

I'd give up all poets for less dead, hurt, or missing children any day.

pasadenamom said...

Thank you, 3:36. I have to say, I am very proud of my little guy. He loves me and I love him more than life itself. He is a chatty 25 m/o who plurts out 7 word sentences, sings "the itsy bitsy spider" from start to finish, and is so polite.He says a very inviting "hello" to every person he meets, regardless of age, race or colour. At 25 m/o, I swear he says "please", "thank you" and "your welcome" automatically. He even apologizes to any little tot he might have accidentally, or not so accidentally bumped into.

That to me is what matters most. I'm proud of the mom I am. And no, I'm not perfect. But, who is?

I am not here to point fingers, or compare parenting skills, or judge any one of you. Like you all, however, I am just here to state my opinion.

Thank you!

pasadenamom said...

*to Aunty Rhea

What about Elizabeth Smart? Was she not in the safety of her own home when she was abducted?

And Jon Benet Ramsey?

Shall i go on?

I parent the way I want to. Thank god, and thanks to ME, my guy has survived 25 months on this earth. Just because I let him run around, doesn't mean i'm not up with him all night beacuse he is sick and unable to breathe.

Or when he was sick for two damn months because we were confined to a tiny room in mommy and me classes where he had contract Herpangia twice!

No thank you, maam. We'll take our chances in the open air. Btw, bees are always around, whether you're around your child or not. Poop? Well, sometimes he gets the runs and it oozes fromt he sides of his diaper. I'm not afraid to clean POOP. His or the dog's whose owner was not responsible enough to clean up. Fortunately, i live in an that readilly supplies containers containing bags so ppl can clean after their pets.

3:36 aka Sleepy said...

Wow, Pasadena mom your little boy sounds lke my girl. She is very creative and sings full length songs with her own original lyrics!
She just started kindergarten and has so many precious "best friends" She loves to dance anytime there is music playing.
She is loving, kind and empathetic. I was never the hovering type. I am not hyper-scared of anything and everything I heard I should be scared of. I am quite aware of very real dangers and protect her from them.
And wouldn't you believe it she got stung by her first hornet this past summer! Playing in the backyard with her older sisters. I know, I know I should have been out there getting stung too. But good thing I was right in the kitchen, ready to calm them all down and give her an ice pack and anti-histamine in case of a reaction.

Funny thing is, Pasadena mom, my first reaction before I scrolled down past aunty rhea's post was just about the same as yours! My goodness, put at least some faith in God and relax a little, right?

Aunty Rhea said...


I didn't say a word to or about you.

Go back and read who WAS talking about you. Or are you afraid to aim your silly words at cali mom?

And about little Jon Benet- while I feel for her parents- I am also against parading children around for the world of pedophiles to see how cute they are and come hunt them down. So... bad example of a safe environment.

And just because it happens in the home, you are willing to risk your sons life in public? Smart one you are.

And letting him be independent has nothing to do with him saying please and thank you and all that. It doesn't take much effort at all to teach a kid to say those things. Especially at 25 months old.

pasadenamom said...

3:36 aka Sleepy, I like you. I get you. My little guy hasn't started preschool, yet. We are very active within our community and do a lot toghether. He and I are hardly ever home. There is just too much to do and so many places to see. I am a full time stay at home mom. I'm enjoying it as long as I can. We're also in a mommy group, and are seldom out and about alone. There are usually a few of us who meet up together and take turns watching our little ones. How about you?

mom said...

Do you go to play at Lacy(sp?)Park?
I lived in San Gabriel as a kid and LOVED it there. (Although I haven't been in years...I hope it's still as nice as I remember. I do miss California!

pasadenamom said...

Oh, yes, yes, Mom. I guess now you can see why I can manage to let my little guy be as free as a bird. We are always there. It still very much is lovely. My mommy group and I meet up for fun and creative playdates. We have 'kick the ball' playdates, 'tea in the park', 'art in the park' and sooooo many more.

We usually frequent Grafield park in So. Pas, too. I'm glad you know what/where I'm, talking about.

Did you know we now have free children's concerts during summer time in Bandshell park aka Levitt Pavillion? Old Town usually has free children's entertainment (magicians, drummers etc) on Thursdays in the summer.

We were just in the Rosebud parade, which is a kiddie version of the Rose Parade.

Where are you now, if you don't mind me asking? Are you coming back?

mom said...

I'm in Texas now. I would love to come back, but my hands are sort of tied.
I ended up growing up mostly in Newport Beach, which was a fantastic, lazy beach town when I was a kid, but sadly turned into the height of selfish, materialistic snobbery by the time my kids were born. We knew we had to get them out of there, lest they grow up saying things like, "Get out of my eye line." So, when an opportunity came up for us to come ot Texas, we jumped on it.
Hated to leave the beach, but again, kids first. We enjoyed Dallas very much for the first many years, as the kids were growing up in an "old fashioned" family neighborhood where lots of moms stayed home to raise kids and we knew and socialized with many of our neighbors. Now, as the kids are in Jr. High, High School and one in college, we cannot reasonably disrupt their lives at this point. My husband and I talk about getting out of here for somewhare a little prettier or nicer, but we will wait until our kids are settled into their own lives at this point. And where we end up might just depend on where they end up. Although we do plan to get a house in California at some point no matter what so that we can at least be "home" sort of regularly.
We visit very often and it always just feels like home to be back. At the same time, I feel good about the upbringing we gave the kids away from all of the plasticity (which has, unfortunately, reached here too by now.)
California does have so much good to offer too. Enjoy it all you can!

PS People, Lacy Park is one of those places where the kids are safe to wander a bit. Lots of grass and you have a great view (except the great skating/bike path I loved so much that went behind the trees some, but I doubt Pasadenamom's toddler is going there.)

pasadenamom said...

Mom, you got it right. There is just so much pressure here to have the latest and most expensive baby/tot accessories, but I just let it fly by. Being a SAHM has gotten financially harder with every passing year. I'm expecting our second in June and am going to do my very best to be with them until they are both at shcool age. I figure I can go back to school and finish up the nursing program at PCC in the mean time.

There is a lot a new mommy like myself can learn from moms like you. You seem to have a fine family and are willing to sacrifice and do whatever it takes to raise your children in the best way possible. I hope to provide my children the best quality life (good shcools, happy fam, strong foundation etc.) possible.

I once nannied for a wonderful family in Whittier, and learned so much from the working mommy. Regardless of how exhausted she and dad were, they always showed their kids how happy they were to be home with them and showered them with hugs and kisses.

Happy Holidays!

Anonymous said...

Awww, do I smell a budding friendship?

mom said...

Gee, I hope so 2:06.

And thank you Pasadena mom. We will definitely have to talk husband happens to have bene raised in Whittier!

I am off the computer until tomorrow afternoon though...kid business...what else?!

Anonymous said...

Sure hope all the child molesters are reading this. Lets tell them JUST where parents don't pay close enough attention to their kids. **Sarcasm**

Obviously your son is nothing more than an excuse for you to show off. And hey, if someone snatches him while you chat, thats ok. Because YOU gave him his independence.

joanna said...

Several things. I dont think that Aunty Rhea is educated enough to be giving opinions. She's an 18 year old kid who enjoys harry potter, please as if anyone should be taking advice about children from a CHILD.

Pasadenamom, if she should even call herself a mom, is absolutely retarded to let her 2 year old run around by himself, and even when calimom pointed out that he could get into the dog feces all she said was that she doesnt mind feces of dog or human nature, so basically she doesnt mind if her son eats dog feces? gross. and it just figures that her a and a bonehead like mom would become friends.

Anonymous said...

Joanna, the 18 year old child is smarter then pasadenamom.

Age doesn't always matter, especially when she has been raising other peoples children. Seems like she has experience.

And- are you really attacking Aunty Rhea for liking Harry Potter? I know many adults who like that book. It isn't proof of being a "child".

Aunty Rhea said...

Joanna, you call me uneducated. What in my post was uneducated?

The fact that you shouldn't let children be far enough away to let predators get to them?

Or you should be able to hear what any stranger says to children in your care at all times?

Or that it is worth the loss of poets, to have children not getting killed and stolen?

I love how people on here judge other people, as if they know anything about them. I'd like to meet you in person, and see if you still want to call me an uneducated child.

Anonymous said...

Wow. The bitchy factor on this post is amazingly high. I think some of you find it makes you feel better about yourself when you can come on here and be nasty to others. I've forgotten what the original post was even about. I just think some of us on this board need to go back to kindergarten and learn how to play with others.

Shocked Mommy said...

Aunty Rhea, you missed my point. A parents job is to keep their child safe. And that means not letting them run around unchaperoned over half a football fields length away!

My comparison to Ms. Spears is to point out what could happen. The media is not 100% truthfull? REALLY? So when I see Spears on tv with her child on her lap in her car, I'm missunderstanding what I'm seeing? Or when they show pictures on the evening news of her running red lights with her child in the car, I'm watching biased news? People, it's called common sense, and obviously some moms don't have any!

Call bad parenting what you want, but negligance happens in many ways. Like letting your 20 some month old have free reign at the park then broadcasting the location on a blog so a child predator gets a heads up! Way to go Pasadenamom! Great way to score mommy of the year!

And Aunty, I think you have a lot of maturing to do yet, so lay off preaching to others with a lot more experience than you.

Aunty Rhea said...

shocked mommy, you don't know my experiences.

Someone who obsesses over the child rearing practices of celebrities need to mature quite a bit more than I do.

Aunty Rhea said...

And- as many people have whined to me about before-

I have just as much of a right to post my opinions. Just because nobody on here knows my life story, doesn't mean I don't have a solid basis for my thoughts.

Anonymous said...

True. But you sure are awfully young to be throwing your opinion around at other people so much, experienced or not. Is that why you chose Aunty Rhea as your moniker? So you would *sound" more older?

Curious Nanny said...

I agree with Aunty Rhea... why does it matter how old you are if you are mature/experienced or just have good common sense in general? Adults who are older than someone they are disagreeing with always use age as an insult as soon as they run out of points/evidence to support what they are saying! I am only 21; I realize that is young with concern to one's entire lifespan but I am graduating college in May and have had a lot more intense "experiences" in my life than many who are older than I am. Young people cannot help their age; we can only try to carry ourselves and speak in such a way that people will look beyong that and listen to what we have to say. It's seriously a form of discrimination, ageism! Also, are you seriously knocking someone and questioning their intelligence because they enjoy Harry Potter? If you refuse to read it or have read it but did not manage to get pleasure out of it, then you are the one who is lacking! Sure it is aimed at children, but it is so well written, has great twists, and is rich in detail! It is wonderful. And now to quote that amazing book:

"Youth cannot know how age thinks and feels. But old men are guilty if they forget what it was to be young..." Too true; we cannot see things from your perspective as well as you can see from ours, because you have actually been in our position before!

mom said...

I recognize you...again...2XAs.
Sheesh! How many monikers do you have!?

Aunty Rhea said...

I chose Aunty Rhea as almost all my screen names... as... I am an aunt. If I wanted to seem older it would be mommysomethingorother

I don't see how that can make anybody seem older. My uncle has been an uncle since he was about 8.

But of course... some of you adults seem to have nothing better to do than to try to cyber-bully us "children".

And thank you 1:09.

Someone NOT obsessed with celebrities said...

Aunty Rhea, your "need to mature" comment made me laugh! Seriously? Honey, at your age, you really shouldn't say that. It really makes you seem immature.

Anonymous said...

I've been an Aunt since I was one. My brother got a kick out of it (still does lol). When my nephew used to come visit from Cali he's try to tell people he was my cousin (when we were teens) but his dad always used to bust him and tell everyone I was his aunt lol.

Anonymous said...

someone not obsessed with celebs:

Telling someone who is younger that by advising others to mature makes them seem immature makes you seem like an idiot.

Anonymous said...

I would not let a child explore unattended in Buena Vista Park. Because of its location and steepness, it is popular at night for both junkies and anonymous sex. The bushes could contain needles or condoms or the like.

Anonymous said...

101pm, is that the best you can come up with? That's rather immature, don't you think? Hmm?

sleepy..again said...

With the exception of Pasadenamom and maybe mom(who I have always thought should have her own blog!) the women on here are absolutely horrible! They make me glad I do not have to spend much time around these types!

Also, I don't think that the children of way OVER protective parents are any safer than the children of reasonible, sanely protective parents. It goes both ways: negligence is bad and sheilding your child from anything and everthing JUST to keep them safe is also bad.

And "Or that it is worth the loss of poets, to have children not getting killed and stolen?" is the silliest thing I have ever heard. You have missed the point entirely.
As pasadenamom pointed out, horrible things can happen even to those who do everything in their power to stop them. Denying our children breathing room is what will lead to the loss of poets!

And all this debate about "Aunty Rhea" is completely boring!

pasadenamom said...

*Hi Sleepy,

How do you do?

Thanks for the support.

I too, am glad I don't have to surround myself around ppl like that. I have a great support system, my fam, my friends and so.

You take care, Sleepy.

And, Have a Blessed and Wonderful Holiday Season!