Dear "Princess Caraboo",
Thanks for making my life one big huge soap opera that my coworkers can ask for updates about. I can't tell you how much I appreciate you taking my child and the car for 3.5 HOURS WITHOUT ASKING WHILE MY WIFE WAS HOME and NOT EVEN LEAVING A NOTE after knowing you for only a month. Thanks for giving me the need to leave work early in order to deal with the mess you created and calm down my panicked wife. Thanks for making me regret I didn't just call the police and let you explain to them how you knew you weren't allowed to take a child and you had no intention of kidnapping my child. Thanks for the embezzlement that I know that you have been doing by driving personal miles and claiming them as work miles that we reimburse you for. Thanks for lying about where you go even when you don't need to--I hope your evenings at Friday's restaurant and McDonald's was worth your not driving the car any longer. Thanks for being unwilling to give us your cell phone number just in case there's an emergency. Thanks for planning to claim you did not volunteer hours so you could demand payment for them later--too bad for you I record all instant messages and had a witness for our other conversion. Thanks for talking shit about my family to your friends, calling us abusive, and claiming we don't treat you well even though we give you many fringe benefits we don't have to and were giving you more weekends off than required. Thanks for using our cable TV, Internet connection, phone, car, and your private bathroom, all things that I'm not required to provide.
Thanks for lying to our face when applying and claiming you'd stay with us till next August when in truth you always planned on finding a new family where your fiance lives by next March. Thanks for not being willing to admit that he's your fiance but signing up onto websites as now being a couple working together.
Thanks for giving me reason to start a formal security investigation regarding your wrongdoing and in doing so begin monitoring all your traffic for further signs of wrongdoing--by the way, I know your phone number now, HAH! Thanks for never bothering to find out what I really do for work. Thanks for underestimating me so wholly that you have no clue just how much I know about you, your wrongdoing, and the lies you tell. Thanks for giving me the need to install GPS in the car so you can't take my daughter anywhere without my knowing where you go. Thanks for the collateral affect of proving that you're a thief embezzling from us. Thanks for giving me the need to put all your web traffic through a content filter that wont let you talk shit about my family any more, doesn't let you search for a new family, and wont even let you read or send emails in which you talk about finding work--I can't tell you how good it makes me feel knowing you're getting denied messages with bible verses pertaining to telling lies. (Thanks for making catholics look bad. :P ).
Thanks for screwing up so that my wife and I now know what your evil plans were and we can plan on being rid of you when it's good for our family and not you. Thanks for giving me a daily need to ask my wife if there's any way we can rid ourselves of you sooner. Thanks for giving me the need to practice being nice to someone I detest so fully.
You're a piece of trash Princess Caraboo. I consider you a cancerous growth that needs to be removed from my family ASAP and if I could do that by putting you in jail for your crimes of moral turpitude, I'd do it without a second thought.
There's only 1.5 months to go of these arguments with my wife about needing to get you out ASAP and I'm counting the hours.
Anonymous -- only because you're still living with us and watching my daughter.
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