Received Saturday, October 13, 2007
Shivering little brunette girl in a white short sleeved shirt with a kitty face on it and rhinestone eyes. This was earlier today, (10/13) at the large playground in Central Park with the rocks that people climb on. The little girl was with a nanny (flowered shirt, black pants, grey sweater, about 240 lbs, 5'4", sitting on a bench and reading the Daily News). The little girl was under 4 and was seen approaching the nanny (who was wearing a sweater) and asking for a jacket. The nanny told her something like, "run around and you won't be cold". Is this minor? Yes. But how easy would it have been for the nanny to tote along a jacket or sweater for the child in her care?
51 comments:
what if the child did not want one lord bless these people who write these crazy post
Lord bless the crazy people who write the crazy responses and skip over entire sentences such as when the shivering child approached the nanny and asks for a jacket.
It didn't say she was shivering. And the nanny is right, she'll warm up if she runs around. Should the nanny have packed a sweater? Sure. Is this a big deal? No... the child will not freeze to death or "catch cold".
yes, it did say she was shivering. I am a former nanny and this does sound like a big deal. The nanny is getting payed to care for the child: if the child engages in a battle over wearing the sweater out, I can understand but for God's sake, pack it and bring it!
Poor little girl, it was cold today, too!
719,
"Shivering little brunette girl"
You must have been a suck-ass nanny. I bet you're glad this site wasn't around back in the day or you'd be all over it
Is it possible that this was a "life lesson" day? One of those days where the child didn't want a jacket before leaving home and was allowed to learn by experiencing? Provided that it wasn't cold enough to be dangerous there is no reason not to let the girl learn by doing. A four year-old is capable of learning that if she doesn't wear a jacket in October, she will be cold. That information will come in handy as she grows up.
A 4 year old cannot make a decision like that! You fool. What is wrong with you. A nanny is expected to make provisions for the child. This includes packing water even if the child doesn't want it, changing a child's diaper even if the child doesn't want it and making the child wear a jacket in cold weather.
If you cannot fathom that-since the child was reported to be under 4 years old.
I would never hire a nanny who is that rude and brainless. Or that fat at that height.
I agree with some of the posts. Why couldn't see put a sweater or light jacket in a stroller or a bag. Come on, she had a sweater on, so she was chilly.
I live in NJ so today was chilly out, and most kids had on either sweaters or light jackets and hats.
I am all for the "life's lesson". Maybe she did argue over the coat and is now going to learn. For sure, she won't argue next time. My mom used to tell me the same thing, "run around and you wont be cold....should of remembered your jacket!" Four year olds are VERY smart and need to be transitioning out of having everything handed to them on their every whim to making decisions and taking responsibilty for their actions.
The kids was under 4.
Your mom sounds like a brute.
opps I meant kid
yes, the world is a shitty place because we are "handing too many things" to the under 4 set. Jeezus. Let kids be kids. Your mama must raised a whore 1041, because there is nothing wrong with children being children.
Maybe this is one of those "Meet us at the park" kind of cases where the nanny show up tp take care of her charge, only to find that the parents forgot to pack a sweater for the poor kid. Unfortunately, not everyone knows that there ought to be an extra set of weather appropriate clothing in every stroller or diaper bag. I'd put my own sweater on the kid, rather than watch her get cold.
sounds like our nanny except our nanny is white.
7:19,
Maybe you should get a new nanny instead of keeping one that you are unhappy with. Oh, wait, that may actually incovenience you. Forget it, my bad.
If you think a 4 year old cannot decide whether or not to take a jacket with them then you must be one of those parents who nursed them until they were 3, still puts them in diapers all day and does not respect your kid's ability to make decisions on their own. Maybe if you spent more time with your kids you would know that by the time they are 4 they have highly developed brains and can connect the dots between it's cold outside and I need to wear a jacket. All of you should be ashamed of yourselves for picking on these nannies, if something really terrible was happening call the police. If not, go home and thank god that you have someone who will put up with your BS and raise your kids for you.
I agree with previous comment: if there is abuse, call the police, and in the case of something as apparently trivial as this, maybe ask yourself why you are micromanaging other people's nannies and then mind your own business.
A 4 year old certainly can make decisions, but they are often the wrong ones! And life-lessons are great but it should be more like, "I told you that you would need this sweater" as the nanny (or mother, this isn't just about nannies... it is about adult supervision) pulls it out of the stroller or what not. A sweater for a 4 year old is definitely small enough that it should be brought around all the time, just in case. Even when it is warm, the insides of stores are often very chilly.
I love this site. It makes me so happy that I don't have kids -- mostly because I don't have to hang out with annoying mommies!
I would be pissed if my nanny tried to make a point with my three year old by freezing her!
Pissed.
So lets get this straight, if my three or four year won't let me put sunblock on him I should let it go?? I guess he can thank me for letting him make a choice, and for letting it stand. He can thank me when hes diagnosed with skin cancer. "Thanks mom for letting me make my own decision at the age of four"
Granted, I am not blaming the nanny on this sighting. I agree with one of the posters that stated maybe, the parents dropped off the child to her without proper dressing. Or it could have been an accident. I sometimes, under or overdress my son. One minute it feels nice out next its cold, vice versa. I learned to always carry extra stuff in my stroller.
I agree with eric's mom. A life lesson should not involve your child being cold and unprotected against the weather. Pack an extra sweater in the stroller or bag, people.
While this is not the most shocking nanny siting in the world, it does show a nanny not doing her job.
I agree it is a detail, but if this was my nanny I would want to know. There might be other instances of neglect. And I do not believe in 'life lessons' involving cold and 3-y-olds.
Although it would be nice to assume that every child will be willing to listen to reason when they are actually cold (as they were told they would be without a coat), it isn't true.
I've cared for kids who would listen to an explaination of why a coat was needed one day and put the coat on, and the next throw a hissy fit if a coat was suggested.
After they get past the "terrible two" stage, where contrariness is constant and a coat comes along if it'll be needed, I let them make up their own minds.
It's called choosing your battles. If I have to fight to have them wear shoes and socks instead of sandals when it's 60 degrees, I am not going to battle over the coat. I'll say that it's cold, show them I am wearing my own coat, and let it go.
Kids are not always agreeable, and they are not automatons. They have to learn from experience sometimes, and that can occur when they are as young as 3 or 4.
I'd rather remind them why they are cold and suggest an alternate decision for next time instead of dealing with a 30 minute tantrum that puts everyone in a grumpy mood when we finally head out the door.
oh... my... god! you whiny, pathetic white women. take care of your own kid and stop bothering others. and by the way, since you obviously haven't figured it out, kids overheat easily. running around will indeed heat her up. dumba*s.
Umm... isn't that a racist comment?
Here's the thing, 3 and 4 year olds are very strong willed. You pick and choose your battles. My child may walk out of the house wearing stripes and polka dots. Hell, she may even leave with a skirt on over pants, with a mis-matched shirt, a crazy hat, and 2 different color socks. At 3, she's starting to want to make her own decisions, and those aren't battles worth fighting. Wearing a coat, putting on sunblock.... those are battles you fight. As an parent of caregiver, you aren't doing your job if you are letting your child go out wearing something that is not weather appropriate!!
Nice article in the New York Times today!
Keep up the great work!
jill s.
http://HowsMyNanny.com
Gosh, it was what? 65 degrees on Saturday? Certainly life threatening. Oh my, let's all jump on the bad nanny bandwagon.
Some of you are so ridiculous. It's not the middle of winter. There is a difference between being chilly and being frozen! Running around gets you warmer. Try it for cying out loud. If kids are 100 percent perfectly comfortable all the time, they just might grow up to be drug addicts. They won't be able to handle the real world and the hard things that come with it. Get over yourselves, please.
It was 68 degrees! The nanny was right. Run around, you'll warm up! Better than sitting inside. My kid said the same thing to me today actually and I said the same thing back. Ten minutes earlier she had taken her sweater off in fit of being too hot. Lighten up people.
OK, so by thios logic:
A 3 yr old should be left cold for as many hours as it takes until they get home because no one should spoil them by throwing a sweater into the diaper bag.
A child should be allowed to get roasted to a crisp from the sun because they need "self empowerment", and their decisio not to use sunblock should be respected.
A child who is toilet training and doesn't want to use the toilet before leaving the house should be left to walk around in wet pooped in pee'ed in clothes all day because a)it would be spoiling them to throw a change of clothes in the bag and b)their "self empowerment" ought to be respected.
Ridiculous. This may be a case of dumb parents or a thoughtless nanny, we don't know, but to try and argue that it's somehow a good thing for a 3 or 4 year old to walk around cold becauise no one took responsibility for throwing a sweater in the bag for her is really stupid.
oh... my... god! you ignorant, lazy black women. Take care of your charges properly and stop bothering others. and by the way, since you obviously haven't figured it out, kids get cold easily. running around will indeed heat her up if you didn't bother yourself enough to bring along her sweater. dumba*s.
------------------
Just kidding, but I *hope* you see, 12:50, how unnacceptable this kind of stereotyping is.
Jane, feel free to delete this one along with 12:50's tripe!
cali mom, I guess everyone has their battles they aren't willing to fight. To use your examples, I stand firm on using sunscreen and visiting the potty before going out of the house.
I will not, however, fight with a 3 yo or older kid aboiut a jacket if it's not cold enough outside that going without would endager their health. 30 degrees, I wrestle the jacket on if I have to, 60+ degrees, I don't fight that fight.
It's just like any other clothing battle - swimsuit in winter with nothing else, no way. Swimsuit in winter with turtleneck and leggings underneath, I grit my teeth, hand them the "I dressed myself!" button, and head out the door.
Allowing kids to make and cope with their own decisions when their health is not at stake is a good thing for everyone. learning to make choices is good for the child, and learning to stop micromanaging is good for the adult.
Well, simply packing a jacket in chilly weather does not require wrestling a child into it, but heads off a potential tantrum when they realize they really are cold and there really isn't anything warm for them to put on. I'd call it common sense and basic preparedness.
I think someone came on here and tried to impersonate you, calimom. How desperate can someone be to do something like that?
Yes, someone did a few days ago in another thread. Silly indeed. As someone recently pointed out, imitation is flattery. But does bad imitation count?
while there is a type of imitation that is flattery, like when a friend goes and buys the same or similar article of clothing, purse, piece of furniture, or gets the same haircut, haircolor or wants the name of your hairdresser so she can go there. That's not the kind of imitation that ass wipes who pose as someone else in an online blog are engaging in. Their intentions are clearly to cause disruption of this blog and stir some shit. Posters like that should find another blog to entertain themselves with.
I am all for life lessons as a mom AND professional nanny.
HOWEVER, my daughter (when she was that age) And my charge (Who is currently 5) initially NEVER wanted to wear a jacket when they should. I threw one in my nanny bag anyway along with a small first aid kit, water, snacks and small stuffed animal. This way when the child asked me for her jacket (and she usually does) I tell her "This is why I wanted you to take your jacket along " And then I produce one. With my daughter, former and current charges I have only had to do this a few times before they happily agree to take their jackets.
On a borderline cool/cold day, a child may indeed be perfectly warm at the time when they are required to leave the house. (As it is true that they heat up and cool down often, depending on the amount of energy they are expending at any given time.) It is natural that they would not want to put on a jacket when they are already comfortable, or even warm. Would we?
And children do not possess the logic that we do, and may be unable to foresee the need for a jacket at a later time. They are kind of "in-the-moment" creatures. (Did you all realize that the cerebral cortex--the part of the brain that foresees consequences--is not fully developed in a human being until the age of 25?! So imagine what it must be like in the brain of a three year old.)
This is not a big issue. Throw a jacket in your bags and have it available as your children get alternately cool and warm throughout the day, as children naturally tend to do.
Do not pout because you had to argue with them about putting on a jacket at a moment when they might be perfectly warm, and punish them with being cold later. That's just silly, and pretty immature. Actually sounds a little passive agressive to me. Let's be the adults and leave the childishness to the kids, alrighty?
I can't believe how far some of you people stray off topic. The bottom line is that the nanny should be prepared for being outdoors with the child. If the child was cold, then she should have gone home for a sweater. My son is 9 and I STILL prepare when I go out with him. If I know I am taking him to the park after school, I bring along a jacket, a bottle of water, and a snack. When he was younger and we'd be out all day, I'd have all that and more. That's why they make diaper bags and why strollers have storage baskets.
Sometimes you have to make kids run around in the cold so they don't turn out to be little fatties. Like in that movie "300."
My kids run around properly attired for the weather, and none of them are fat.
perhaps some of these are fat because their nannies prefer to "choose their battles" and children like sweets better than nutritional food?
Bringing a long a jacket, when a child won't wear one, does not cause a tantrum; period. You do not have to force the jacket on a warm child, try carrying it until they need it. I agree with everyone who stated that adults should behave like adults, and part of being a mature adult is being prepared! My charge never wants to wear his jacket no matter how cold it is, but I always bring it a long any way! You don't teach a kid to wear a jacket by making them run around like a moron, you teach them by reminding them why it is necessary i.e: "See, it is cold, aren't you glad I brought your jacket?!" My eldest charge grabs her jacket on her own now, and even carries it when she gets warm, kids learn by our example!
... BTW, I'd hate to see these kids 5 years from now running around in the snow with tank tops to keep warm! LOL Honestly though, great logic people, what a way to teach kids even more so that the jacket is in fact, unneeded...I'll just run around, I'm right! HAH Now, you'll have even more battles in the future...
OK, 8:24, you seem to be really negative on kids running around (like KIDS, not like morons, I might add). Exercise is good for kids (and adults too). Also, why do so many of you think that kids need to be micromanaged and have constant, nonstop attention from a nanny catering to their every whim? It's good for kids to be able to entertain themselves at the park. Supervision is a must, yes. But hovering over the kid every single second is more like smothering than mothering.
Man. I am so glad that my horrible failure to cart a jacket along on 60 degree days is my only failure.
Oh, wait! Sometimes I go to the store without a diaper bag, just my purse. Horrors! Of course, I do have snacks, water bottles, baby toys and diapers and wipes in the car for emergencies, so does that keep me off the list of negectful nannies?
I guess I should seriously consider that sherpa pack, so I can make sure I have jackets from now on, to go with everything I already cart along when I go anywhere.
Lighten up people! I've done things this way for 14 years now, and none of my current or former charges seem to have been permanently scarred by the occasional lack of a jacket. In fact, a wise ex-charge once said to me, "I'm not cold just because YOU are!" - she was 4 at the time.
Chick,
If you mean none of them are hunched over and quivering in the corner of a dark room as a result of having marginal attention paid to their physical comfort at times, you're right.
But is it really nice to make a 3 year old be so uncomfortable when it would have been so easy just to pack a sweater? You don't need a shirpa and a camel to carry along a small child's sweater. They may not be mentally unstabel, but they probably didn't feel very loved or protected at those times.
And, run around to get warm is good advice? Just how long do you expect them to keep running? When they stop and have worked up enough energy to produce warmth, they have also produced sweat. Now they are wet in chilly air. Keep on running little ones, nanny just needs to finish the Sunday Times and we will be on our way!
12:48 - I am amazed at how you can sum up my life and caretaking style by reading a few posts! You should contact Letterman and go on TV to showcase your psychic abilities!
I never said anything about running around. EVER. I certainly don't prevent my charges from doing so, but I try to avoid making a fun outing into a gulag march. Re-read my posts, OK?
Marginal attention my ass. Again, you know nothing about me and how I do my job. I'm going to hit you with the clue stick here, so get ready:
Chick: "It's sort of cold out today - do you want to take your coat or wear your coat?"
3 - 12 yo charge: "I don't need a coat!"
Rinse and repeat. Charge goes out with no coat.
At park...
Chick: "You look cold. Do you want to sit with me for a minute/borrow my coat for a few minutes and warm up, or do you want to head home?"
Charge: "I want to sit.../borrow.../leave."
Chick: "OK. Maybe next time you could bring your coat just in case."
Charge: "Maybe"
Next time...
Chick: "Do you want to wear your coat or carry your coat?"
Charge: agrees to carry/wear coat or asks me to carry coat.
>thunk< Hope the clue stick didn't smart too much!
P.S. SHERPA, UNSTABLE
P.P.S. I never read the paper at the park on cold days - I catch up on the news via my blackberry while my shivering, neglected charges poop in the sand and fall off climbing structures. I make sure to let the baby cry though - the background noise keeps me focused on my connectivity. And if they bug me for snacks, diapers, or any of that silly stuff, I just yank their ears until they buzz off...
If this was indeed a life lesson, then freezing is a natural consequence. Of course, you would only freeze the child long enough to make a point, and then go to a warmer place (Home, restaurant, etc.) You could use this opportunity to talk about good and bad choices. For example, refusing a sweater is a bad choice on a cold day. If we don't teach children when they are young about responsibility, then they are bound to become the next Paris Hilton.
There is a great parenting book called "Kids Are Worth It" it's about teaching kids HOW to think for themselves. You base it on 3 requirements...
It's it dangerous?
is it immoral?
Is it permanent?
if the answer to all of those is "no" you're supposed to let them learn from their own mistakes. It works well and teaches children how to live in the world and grow at their own pace.
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