Received Thursday, October 25, 2007
Hi. I was at the Barnes & Noble in the Hillsdale Mall this afternoon and I witnessed a mean nanny interacting with the little boy she was taking care of. Both of the parties were white. The little boy was about 18 months of age and had on cream colored corduroys and tan hiking boots. The nanny was in her early twenties and had thin, brown hair pulled back in to a ponytail and wore a purple sweatshirt ties around her waist and a blue short sleeved shirt with a collar. As I was near the nanny, I saw that she was wading through the aisles looking for books for herself. She continued to say, "come, come now" when she wanted to move on. I am not sure but she may have had a slight accent, but I could not distinguish from where. The child did not consistently follow her directive. While I was across the aisle from her in a different section I saw her say, "okay, come, come now". I knew this to mean she was ready to move on. The little boy was not paying her any attention so she scooted to the next aisle quickly. The child realized that she was gone and went looking for her. The child followed her to the next aisle where she was, but the nanny ducked in to the next aisle. This was not a fun game as I saw the look of terror on the boy's face. I pretended not to notice until it was unavoidable that I intervene. The little boy had started crying. The nanny was now in the next aisle across the way and giggling to herself (even though the child was crying). I said to her, "Excuse me, he's quite scared". She said to me, "he's not scared, we're playing". She was obviously caught off guard and went to him. She stood next to him and patted the top of his head. I continued to stare at her with a look, 'what is wrong with you' and she turned the other way and walked away with the child. I just want to reiterate that this little boy was following your nanny from aisle to aisle so she could look at her book choices. She wasn't holding his hand. His behavior was rather exceptional. The nanny had a way about her that made me think she didn't even like the child. When he was crying, I- a stranger wanted to pick him up. She simply patted his head. He wasn't crying like a brat. He was crying like a scared little boy. I never saw her with a stroller which I thought was strange. I regret that I didn't follow them until they left the mall to see if they drove and get their licence plate number. I do not have a good feeling about this nanny. I am racking my brain trying to think what else I could remember about the nanny to let you know she is your nanny.
46 comments:
Sounds like a sweet baby and a not so nice nanny. I will never understand why some people think it is funny to scare little kids or make them cry.
This was pointless, she probably did not mean any harm, get a life, stop stalking nannies and babies in book stores.
oh, clueless nincompoop at 10:36-
There are some people who when reading of a sad situation such as this one, think nothing of it. Why? It's because, of course, it's the way you would ...or have treated your children or other children in your care. I don't don't like mean people, especially those who are mean to children and my hunch is - that would include YOU.
To be honest I really don't think this is all that bad. Kids need to learn to listen and stay by the side of the nanny, although I don't think her intention was to teach the boy a lesson, but I bet that he won't be wandering away or not listening when hes not supposed to.
Sure it doesn't sound all that bad - but shouldn't the nanny have been paying more attention to the boy. That is what she is being paid to do. Not peruse through book aisles for her own pleasure. Barnes & Noble are ground zero for negligent nannies.
okay one of you says this is pointless, another says it is a good way to teach a child a lesson and yet another basically says the OP is liable because she should have called the police.
Praytell, how would that 9 1 1 call have gone?
It wasn't sordid or outrageous, just odd and unsettling, hence the OP posted it in this forum.
AND PLEASE to the OP who said that DO NOT BE one of those fools that taxes 9 1 1 with unneccesary calls.
You would call the police for this? Some of you people are totally out of your minds!
Of course if something is REALLY wrong then one must call the police or whatever. But usually there is no tangible evidence, only an instinctive reaction on the poster's part. There is this book called "Blink" in which the author explains how people can make
good decisions within seconds but cannot really explain them. The point of reporting these sightings is that hopefully the parents see this and take action, at least discuss the issue with the nanny. Hopefully whoever reads the posts realizes in most cases that it could happen to them, so there is something to learn for everyone.
OK-yes-if something is really wrong-you call the police. but, not for a case like this-are you kidding? Hopefully the boy's parents will see this post.
PROOF OF WHAT?
Mistreatment of a child-however unfortunate is NOT a crime.
While this was mean and inappropriate, it is not something the police would care about and (11:29) is hardly comparable to Hitler and the Jews. You should be ashamed of yourself for bringing the torment of the Jews under Hitler down to the status of teasing a child. Get real!
I suspect that anonymous 11:29 is actually SYL. She takes everything immediately to the deepest, darkest level and refuses to come back out.
also, 11:29, there were a heck of a lot of people you could point out as doing nothing to stop
Hitler, but the
Jews don't belong on that list. They were the VICTIMS of a horrendous political persecution and mass extermination, not the cause.
And much as I don't like the sounds of this nanny, it is infuriating and disgusting that you would draw an analogy to Hitler.
12:34
I would just chock those comments up as insanely stupid and not even bother responding, or even thinking about them again.
I noticed that there is an Amanda posting on another thread. I wonder if this is our old trouble stirring friend? We haven't had such stupidity on here since she left...and now here we are again, dealing with completely off the wall and inflamatory comments.
Ignor, Ignore, Ignore
I love you sleuthing ways.
I am not "that" Amanda and I think referencing her just gives her the attention she needs.
APK (Amanda)
Formerly known as 1:07-
I think you were right. I contacted JD stat using aol and she has removed the offending comments. Having the course of conversation veer off into hateful territory is not what any of us regulars want. And giving "that person" attention is probably what she wants, so next time you too should just email jane or anonymously leave a meebo.
Good call, t.r.!
fyi-
the offending name is not "H" but 2As. Someone seeking publicity will be denied.
I meant "Hitler" was probably the offending name. We'll see if this one makes it through or not.
I think the goal is to delete anything sent in by "her" and not mention "her" by name so that she does receive the attention and publicity she is so desperately seeking.
Yes, let's not allowe her to derail the threads. And let's stop talking about her because that derails threads.
I meant "H' as in the vile dictator mentioned in the offending posts..not "A" as in the harpee publicity hound.
My posts are not going through with either the H name or the A name included, so I am wondering if they are both blocked words?
Cool. Done.
The whole point of the original posting is that the nanny was treating the child in a very rotten way. This is painfully clear. The true harm that is done is due to the fact that the person doing the terrible teasing is not an older sibling or some rotten kid in the park, but is instead the person who is entrusted to care for the child, who the child relies upon for every aspect of well being.
Clearly this child will never and should never trust this nanny. She is not trustworthy and has demonstrated that by playing this "game" with the child.
However, the really troublesome part is that this "nanny," and so many others, think there is nothing wrong with "playing" with a child this way is perfectly fine, that it toughens them up, and they are especially inclined to play with boys this way because they think they should be tough. Becauase they don't know anything about child development, they don't know that it has the opposite affect, that it actually deters children from developing into emotionally strong and confident adults. It is horrifying that "nannies" like these are what you see everywhere you go.
They are not "nannies" but instead are people who cannot get a better paying job than this, and have experience having raised children and babysat. It is very sad that so many children are being raised with such sub par care.
It's not smart to try to hide from an 18 month old, because at this age, they are trying very hard to run away. I would rather 'helicopter' than play hide and seek in the isles. Maybe this is a case of an immature nanny, and hopefully she grows out of it before she loses the child's trust.
The nanny should have been more considerate of her charge. She sounds like she was either a) a crappy nanny or b) had a rough or busy day not having had a break and was taking a few minutes to browse the book section. I'm guessing it was b. Was she slacking? Sure sounds like it, but in my opinion it's never wise to judge a person by one short encounter.
Nobody is perfect.
I doubt this is just a case of immaturity.
As 7:25 said,...... think there is nothing wrong with "playing" with a child this way is perfectly fine, that it toughens them up, and they are especially inclined to play with boys this way because they think they should be tough. Because they don't know anything about child development,
Parents need to explore these issues when they interview potential nannies. If a nanny's culture is different from yours, she may have ideas about care and discipline that you don't agree with.
I think the kid needs to listen. Kids get away with too much now a days. Parents give in too often and it makes the kids not listen to anyone. Im sure if she would have picked the child up to take him with her and the child started screaming, then people would be calling her a bad nanny then too. Its a lose, lose situation.
The kid was under 2, you heathen!
5:21...do you even have children. You sound as if you never even spent any time with them. At least not any under the age of 3. I actually wouldn't even play this type of "game" with my 3 year old.
I wouldn't have either. My boys were runners at that age. I would have lost them in an instant if I ever hid from them in public. My daughter became frightened when she could not see me at that age. This would have been INCREDIBLY traumatic for her.
It's just mean to make a small child fearful for any reason. They don't have the ability we have to think ahead and reason that they will find us again and be safe. They would feel nothing but terror in a situation like this.
Oops. That was just me above.
I had a nanny like this. Had. I could tell my child didn't like being left alone with her, and decided to set her up. I arranged for her to take him to the library for storytime, and had a friend of mine she didn't know observe. I wanted to know if she was mistreating him. WOW, was I shocked! She dropped him off for story time and LEFT the building! For a smoke!!!! On paper and in person, she was perfect. I am so grateful nothing happened to my child while in her care. This happened on my maternity leave, and helped weigh my decision to not go back to work. When I hired a part time nanny, I did a lot of background tests and the friend test again. This one passed.
It's 7:25pm here again. To 1:47pm, I really agree with you, too. You said, "Parents need to explore these issues when they interview potential nannies. If a nanny's culture is different from yours, she may have ideas about care and discipline that you don't agree with." You are very correct. I just don't understand why more people don't realize this!
My nanny takes our child to this B&N. What was the race of the nanny? I want to make sure she isn't our nanny.
If you are wondering that it is even possible that it was your nanny, then it very well could have been your nanny. There seems to be something wrong with your care situation, I'd say. Please reevaluate and make an improvement.
It says that "both parties were white." I assume this means the nanny and the child. Your nanny is white. it goes on to describe her hairstyle and clothes. You should be able to recognize her, if not your child's outfit.
I see nothing wrong with this. I have a 20 month old who is sometimes stubborn about coming following Mom and Dad. If she won't follow me after several attempts to get her to, I will go just outside of her line of sight (i.e. next aisle in a store) and wait for her to realize she's alone, she'll usually get a little afraid and upset until she finds me. She usually stays very close after doing this, and I think it's a good thing to teach her that she might get separated from her parents if she doesn't stay close.
Y'all must have freaky kids. I have a 28 month old and when I want her to come with me, I need to hold her hand. But kudos to you and the militant style camp you are raising your child in. Where children under two are expected to respond immediately to verbal direction in an unfamiliar place in public with many distractions. And multiple commands to. Following a nanny through a bookstore would be a bit like a mouse in a maze.
The boy was "about 18 months".
HOLD HIS HAND.
And frankly, if I have to tell a nanny this, she already needs to be fired. Why waste you time employing some tired hag when there are plenty of great nannies out there with child friendly and safety conscience instincts?
Those of you who defend this are
A N I M A L S
4:33, most animals are more protective of their young than this!
Not many defending this. With all of the fighting people so seem to enjoy on here sometimes, that speaks volumes.
5:30, most people are more protective of their animals than this.
This is just acceptable.
This is a very bad nanny. Not only a really bad nanny but a pathetic excuse for a human being.
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