Received Monday, September 24, 2007 - Perspective & Opinion
This is more a bad employer "sighting" than bad nanny, but I'd like some opinions/advice on how to approach this. I carpool with my neighbor who has a live in nanny that I have known for the two years she's worked there and she is a lovely caring person. My neighbor's daughter and my daughter are good friends. A few weeks ago my neighbor started to complain during our ride to work that she feels her nanny is less than responsible in her personal life because she spends money on things she shouldn't. I asked her if that is really relevant since she does a good job taking care of her child and we didn't discuss it further at that time. Over the next days she occasionally brought up examples of purchases her nanny has made that she feels are irresponsible. The most recent item she complained about was sexy lingerie that she described in detail. I said--"Wow, you and your nanny must have a very close personal relationship for her to show you her underwear". I was thinking I can't imagine that coming up in any context with my nanny, nor would I want it to, since ours is a professional relationship. She proceeded to tell me that she regularly searches through her nannies belongings. I told my neighbor I don't think that invading her nanny's privacy is right. She told me it's different when you have a live in and she's always done that since it's the only way to insure that the nanny isn't bringing in anything illegal into her home. I am appalled at my neighbor's behavior, but don't know what to do with this information. Advice?