Received Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Nanny: Under 5"5", approx 135 lbs, dark hair in a bob, pretty face, African American female.
Child: aged 2, approx 30 lbs, Spiderman pyjama top over a long sleeved, blue coloured shirt, wavy brown hair, blue eyes, jeans, Caucasian male.
Location: Morningside Park; 113 Street & Manhattan Ave
What I witnessed: I am a nanny myself and new to this area of town. This is one of my first trips to this park and I was happy to meet your nanny because she was friendly and had helpful ideas. The little boy would run back and forth to her and she would always say something positive to him. I am posting this because our conversation took a dark turn. We got on the subjects of salary and holidays. Rosh Hashanah came up and she began to complain that she had to work even though the parents had it off. She made a few off handed comments about the parent's inability to take care of their child for one day. She then told me that this was the first and last such family she would work for and made a number of inflammatory and prejudicial comments. I was speechless. I didn't realize such bias still existed. This nanny seemed to be very good and very fond of your son but she is harbouring some deep seated resentment and prejudice against you. I am attempting to chose my words carefully as I most definitely do not want to repeat anything that she said. I really am not one to criticise but this was most unpleasant. . I did not wish our exchange to turn into an arguement, so I ended our conversation and left the park.
Update 9/13: I was not at all concerned when the nanny lambasted the parental skills of her employers or raged that she had to work the following day. What did and still concerns me is the hateful comments the nanny made regarding her employer's religion and the awful, ignorant and discriminatory things she verbalised to me; an essential stranger.
36 comments:
How unfortunate.
I'm sorry, but what's the big deal? Next thing you know, you'll want microchips embedded to report thoughts. :)
the microchips would be ineffective since you, like all nannies, are an idiot.
6:49 -
What makes you think 6:45 is a nanny? A lot of different people are on this site.
Also, what the hell did a nanny do to you that made you so bitter against all of them?
For the idiots who will miss the point of this post because it was so sensibly and subtly constructed:
Anti-Semitism.
Yes, I can understand that nannies like to comment about how ineffective the parents are at caring for the children but I would have no tolerance for any sort of prejudice, anti semetic or otherwise! And I have heard this quite often. You parents might want to consider the diversity of your nanny. Does your nanny associate only with nanny's of the same background as herself? That doesn't bode well for you. In my experience.
Oh give me a break. The nanny was just venting. We all do on our jobs, nanny, office workers, doctors, etc. Whats the big deal. Honestly, I am sure most employers talk about their employees behind their backs if they don't like something.
Adah
Its not just nannies that stick to their own race for the most part. At the park in front of my house, all the Polish or Russian mothers and nannies stick together. Sometimes, its annoying because some do speak English as well but choose not to. So I am always wondering what they are saying.
Plus, most people stick with their own race, because they feel more comfortable. I don't think it has anything to do with racism.
They may have more in common.
There is a huge difference between nannies venting about their employers and making nasty remarks about them being Jews (which is clearly what happened here). She needs to be fired and kept away from this also Jewish child she is so kindly caring for. People like this nanny are toxic....unless, you are a racist, of course.
This really went over your heads? The OP was concerned about the anti semetic remarks which started off with comments about Rosh Hashanah. Thank you for not rehashing her toxic, ugly words!
And thank you for outing another racist (?) prejudiced, biggoted person!
first off, this was the nanny's first job and maybe she is from a small town and didn't know many jewish people before moving to the big city. She was probably working her first Jewish holiday too.
When I first became a nanny in NY. I had to work one of the Jewish holidays and the parents had off. I also had to go to the Synagog with the family. I was totally against it but did it anyway.
If this nanny was talking bad about a Muslim family she was working for would their be such an uproar?? I doubt it.
Yes OP, prejudice and stereotyping still exist. They are rampant on this site as a matter of fact. (See 6:49 PM , "you, like all nannies, are an idiot. " )
As for the anti-Semitism expressed by the nanny, that is horrible. I hope the parents find out about this before it affects their son.
I vent often, but without anti semetic commentary. This is not a vent. These are the sort of things that concern me. The smiling face the employer sees knows not how she really feels when the employer is not around.
So let me get this straight. If some "parents" had Christmas Day off from work but required the nanny to work that day and she vented about it she'd be anti-Christian and a dangerous influence on the obviously also Christian child and she should be fired and arrested? Would she also be racist if the parents were Catholics of Italian heritage? Because of course since we can all infer SO much racism and anti semitism from this post, we'd all be immediately hip to the ethnic background of the parents. Come to think of it, some people were ready to lynch over the argument that Jewish could NOT be considered a race, so it's ironic that someone here is calling "racism" about this post.
Again, IMO, the people screeching about anti-semitism OR racism against Jews here (debate the race thing to your heart's content) are the same ones who howled that anyone who disapproved of Isreal's attacks on Lebanese civilains was anti-semitic. *roll eyes*
Make that civilians.
Cali Mom,
Try baby, try to connect the dots.
The fact that Rosh Hashanah is tomorrow and asking about whether they had the day off or not was the starting point to a conversation that made the OP uncomfortable. "She then told me that this was the first and last such family she would work for and made a number of inflammatory and prejudicial comments."
Read baby, read.
Uuum, are you psychic, or are you OP pretending to be someone else? NOWHERE does it say that the conversation started by one asking the other if she had tomorrow off, so either you only know that because you are the OP, or your imagination is filling in the blanks and you are upset because everyone else's imagination doesn'r follow exactly where yours goes.
I still say, if some nanny had to work Christmas even though mom and dad had the day off, the same complaint would likely come up and it wouldn't, just by itelf, suggest prejudivce to me.
But, since you apparentrly were there, you heard more of the conversation than you are letting on about (so you said in your post above) so if you felt it was inflammatory andf upsetting, I'll take your word for it.
One of the only things that pisses me off more than real racism is people constantly screaming "racism" and "prejudice" where it doesn't really apply.
Cali Mom,
You obviously are a bit antisemetic yourself.
We do infer things. As from, "Rosh Hashanah came up and she began to complain that she had to work even though the parents had it off"
Perhaps that is because I know that my nanny has told me that everytime she meets a new nanny they invariably want to know what she makes, her hours, her vacation, what she got for a bonus, for her birthday, etc.
Your Christmas argument makes no sense. None.
Well, any argument won't make much sense to someone who has a total of 8 brain cells to call her own.
As for religion and your silly assumptions about my views on it, I say it's all a bunch of hearsay. None of us were there when anyone was supposedly writing down whatever the supposed messengers of various deities were supposedly saying, so it's all a game of telephone and fill in the blanks. Kind of like many of the posts here, only a lot of people actually take it seriously.
Dear OP,
Sorry to hear about your awkward experience. It is really annoying when people just can't vent without insulting religion or religious figures.
To all the night owls. Would you like to go to the chatroom?
:)
Well, it's only 10:15 here but I'm about to go to bed anyway : ) I tried the chatroom once and it wouldn't load for me, maybe I'll try it later w/a different browser.
No problem. Talk to you later. Maybe one of these days we will actually be in the chatroom at the same time. I think we all keep missing each other. Good night.
Heidi, I actually think Cali mom makes perfect sense. I would complain about working on a Holiday as well, regardless of which Holiday it was. Why? Because it's human nature to note those around you with the day off, and feel a tad bit of jealousy. We could all use a break from work, and it sucks when others get the day off and you don't. As far as her statement regarding the parents not being able to handle their own child for even one day, I think EVERY nanny has felt that way at least once in a while. I am personally not a nanny, but I can imagine when you are the one that does the vast share of caring for the child (as in many nannies cases) you would feel that way at times. I had a friend who nannied for years, and she constantly complained how incapable the parents were, and I'm in fact, quite sure she was very correct after meeting them and seeing first hand that they knew nothing about their own child. We all have the right to vent (especially about work, which tends to be well...WORK), chill people!
I too would complain about working on a holiday. Especially if the parents celebrated it and were home with their children. But I would not allow a Good Friday working rant turn in to bashing catholics anymore than I would a working Rosh Hashanah rant should escalate to an anti jew rant.
This is the first and last time the Op's bench buddy has ever worked for such a family.
OP is trying very hard not to repeat what was spewed. Give her some credit. And use your freakin brains.
There are bigoted people everywhere but one place we should not have to have them is in our own home!
Bottom line -- did that nanny negotiate Rosh Hashana as a vacation day for herself? If not, tough beans for her. Also for the record, I do not know a single person who has the day off for this holiday (other than those observing it). I never had this day off and dh is at work right now and we both managed it without railing against our employers. Isn't that something?
Cali Mom really bugs. I've generally never agreed with her comments before (mostly santimommy crap), but now I see that she is just an idiot with poor reading comprehension. Let me spell it out for your Cali Mom. Complaining about having to work on a Jewish holiday is not racist. But making "inflammatory and prejudicial comments" is racist.
9:54, I totally hear you. Cali Mom is not only unable to spell, but also attacks people personally.
LOL. Oh yeah, NO ONE else around here would ever *think* of doing that. It would ruin the shiny happy vibe of all the nice sweet little church ladies here ;) *roll eyes*
Don't attack Cali Mom I think she has great responses.
If this was any other comment about another persons race or religion it wouldn't be considered a big deal. Because its a Jewish family everyone blows this up to something its not.
It is obvious to me that the point of the OP's post is the nanny's anti-Semitic comments, she included her complaints about the job to give context.
Would you want a nanny caring for your children who felt such animosity toward your family for whatever reason, race, religion, socioeconomic status, etc.? Just think about it, because it is not uncommon.
Give it up!! This is the real world, theres always going to be someone talking crap about others. Either at a playground, in the office, at the mall, etc.
Cali Mom,
Don't even bring Israel up if you're not going to bring up what the pilgrims and European settlers did to the Native Americans.
And don't forget abortion and the Jena 6. And Vietnam. And Tibet.
Post a Comment