Received Monday, September 10, 2007-Rant
Dear Employer,
1) I have been with you for 7 months. You leave me alone with your under two year old child all day long. I take her to the playground, to the museum and on walks, so I know you must trust me. Do tell me why I need to stand and wait on Fridays while you count out/balance the petty cash? We start with one hundred dollars every Monday. And throughout the week I leave receipts and change in our container.
2) I have worked so hard on potty training your child. By Thursday, the child is doing wonderfully. By Friday, the child has no accidents. Monday morning the garbage is full of disposable diapers. This has been going on for 6 weeks. It cannot be that hard to take your single child to the bathroom over the course of a weekend.
3) You asked my opinion with regard to a pair of Jeans you had purchased at Barney's. I said they looked good. You told me, "For $275, they better look better than good." I said, "$275 for jeans" and you replied, "I bet you can buy 10 pairs of your jeans for that" and chuckled. Not. So. Funny.
4) You have asked me to be here at 8AM every morning. I rarely arrive after 7:50 because I am a courteous person. My day ends at 6:00 PM. Yet, you fail to show me the same consideration. Often times, you arrive late because you have stopped for flowers, food or wine. First, my day is already long enough and second, please recognize I have a life and places to get to. I understand if there is a work emergency or subway problem, but do believe I should be able to walk out the door at 6PM since I arrive for you before 8 AM.
I haven't confronted you on these things because these are matters of common sense and common courtesy. Here's hoping something clicks in your head soon, because I am quite fond of your child and look forward to going to work everyday.
67 comments:
Unless you KNOW your employer reads this site this post should have never been written... Instead you should talk to them about it. Communication is the ONLY way to work things out. Try talking to them before you complain to all of us.
Leave this family! I've been there, done that, and it won't change. There are good families out there to work for, so don't settle!
I cannot fathom a mother who stands there and counts her $100 petty cash while you wait, while leaving you alone with her child. $100 is not a lot of money. It sounds like the $100 means more to her than her child.
I worked for a similar family, who claimed they didn't want to ever nickle-and-dime each other, and yet I was always the one getting nickle-and-dimed...
I also showed up at 7:50am every day and worked until 6pm (or later when they were late)....and what bugged me most was that in 2 yrs of working for them, I never ONCE was able to leave early, not even FIVE minutes early--even when both parents were home!!! They worked me exactly until 6 or later every day for 2 yrs-- I would think this is also an issue of common courtesy, that you shouldn't HAVE to even bring up.... And to top it off,when they moved from the east to west coast and I stayed in NY, they paid me a severance worth TWO working days--isn't the norm 1,000 per year worked? They looooooved me, I looooooved their kids, but thought the parents were so cheap and inconsiderate...
Parents, just remember--us nannies start work BEFORE you start work and END work AFTER you end work...
Now, I am blessed with the BEST FAMILY IN THE WORLD; who show their appreciation both with words AND bonuses -- i finally deserved a job like this...
The norm is $1,000 per week if the nanny makes $1,000 per week.
Severence is given at a rate of one week's pay for every year of service. However employers should take into consideration that 2 weeks severence is usually given even to an emplyee of 5 months. Employees who have excelled should be treated generously. Those who did not should still get the minimum. In all fields, but especially when this person was trusted with your children. Of course if the person causes harm to your child, she gets nada but a black and white at the door and a pair of silver bracelets.
Oh my goodness.
You sound exactly like me a few months ago..
only the two year old I watched was a boy.
I ended up leaving the family (they tried to hire a new nanny behind my back, without giving me notice I was going to be fired. I found out. I found a new job). Leave this family. You'll miss the baby, but over all you'll be happier.
I wish that there was a nanny site where we could all talk to one another because I am going through the same thing with my family, especially with the potty training.
Yah, how about nannies who work with babies? Never has a diaper rash Tuesday-Fri, but has always has a diaper when I arrive on Monday morning....oh, and typically unbathed all weekend--some parents are just nasty....with the logic that "oh, the nanny is coming in anyway--she'll do it"
This post makes me so sad: I was a nanny for a horrible family. (I suspect the mother reads and posts on this site.)
That mother also use to come home late all the time. I started keeping a log of all the hours I was working in the back of the baby's log. I would note the times they came home late, since they were very nasty when it came to my using sick time to go to doctor's appts. (I only used what was neccessary.) I wrote the time I came in and the time they came home, putting marks next to the ot hours. One day I came in and found she had CROSSED OUT the log of ot hours and subtracted all the times they had returned early. (which weren't many times.)
I felt it was so unfair: even if a parent returns a half hour early one day, it does not give them the right to come home an hour and a half late on other occasions.
I hate it when families treat the nanny as if her life isn't important. And then they wonder why the nanny wants to leave and is unhappy.
This woman I worked for was a real jerk and the OP's family sounds the same.
I love the jeans comment. What a frickin bitch.
Why are you working for her?
They may be hard to find but there are cool families out there.
And when you interview, be straight up and tell them what went wrong this time.
843 PM
rant rant rant rant rant rant
You don't rant to your boss honey, you rant about your boss.
quit,quit and find a family that will work with you...you will miss the child but they will miss you more...
sad sad sad
just quit. damn that number 2 is pissing me off
u. go. girl.
I had a boss who used to feed her baby (under a year), adult pre-packaged meals on the weekends (even though I had made a freezer full of fresh babyfood.) Every monday without the baby had a fever. They never put the two together that he was reacting to an ingredient in the foods. Grandma (who of course only saw the baby eat on the weekends with mom) would leave me articles she had cut out of the paper about approprate food for a child to eat. It was ridiculous.
i feel you girl. i've worked for families in the past that had issues such as the ones you are dealing with. and my theory comes down to this.....if the nanny isn't happy, the child(ren) aren't going to be happy. no matter how much you love them, if you are miserable, after a while it will rub off on them.
find yourself a new job and when it comes to interview time, be honest and don't hesitate on what YOU expect out of the deal. also, ask to talk to their previous nanny/nannies.
good luck. and rant on.
Reminder:
We are working on feature on Worst Interview Experiences. So, whether you are a nanny or an employer, we want to hear your stories. Write us at isawyournannay@aol.com
I have the a problem with the dad I work for. When the mom isn't there, he refuses to change poopie diapers. He pretends that they "just happened" when the infant and the toddler both have poo smashed all in the diaper. It makes me so irritated, what a great way to start my day!
I was serious about that nanny website or forum or blog or something!
4:23....with all due resppoect it is none of your business what a parents chooses to feed THEIR child on your days off. Yes, the baby may have been reacting to an ingrediant, but that sort of things happens all the time. You never know if a chils is allergic to something unless they have it. The parents might not have been making the best food choices for their child, but it isn't your business.
respect...sorry for that crazy typo! Dont know what happened!
nanny forum. isnt that what the i saw your nanny chatroom is for? i have been there once and a nanny was very helpful with regard to an issue i was having with my nanny.
1) Maybe she just wants to be fair in the way that if the cash and reciepts didn't add up you would both see it and she wouldn't have to accuse you of something with no proof.
2)This is a good reason for these parents to have a nanny! Without you that poor child would be surrounded by disfunction ALL the time.
3)It seems that you too made a snarky comment when you said "$275 for jeans" That is also rude, as if she spends her money wrong..don't judge if you yourself do not want to be judged.
4)You would definitely want to say something directly to the parents about this one, they seem to be discourteous people in general and I'm sure they don't think about it at all.
so strange no moms replying only nannies. this is because they never admit when wrong and probably take the side of this horrible mom you are working for. they are lots of wonderful families out there. get out. i also invite the idea of a nanny website where we can exchange stories and experiences. give ourselves strength as one
There are tons of websites with bulletin boards for nannies. There are also tons of listservs for nannies -- national ones as well as local groups. They are a great resource for nannies who want advice or just want a place to vent with someone who understands. Do a little searching, they aren't hard to find.
You sound like a good nanny.
This is the best time of year to find a new job, so start looking! There are actually some families who appreciate a good nanny and treat her with respect. I work for one, and you can too. Good luck.
You probably won't find a better job, OP. If you are dumb enough to think that writing a rant on a site as seldomly visited as this will get you anywhere...well then you're an idiot. I wouldn't trust you with my pet fish, let alone my children. Wa Wa Wa, I'm so sad that the person who pays me to watch 1 child expects me to work and be accountable for expenses. Try a real job and you quacks will see that us real employees have it much worse.
OP wrote a rant. That is what a rant is. Deal with that 11:25. And as for "a site seldomly visited", I don't know anyone who doesn't know about this site. Are you the same asswipe who keeps posting preposterous responses on every post? The Britney thing? The Jamaican thing? Grow the hell up.
11:25 you are an ass. Although you probably know that already, it made me good to say it.
Yep, 11:25 is always easy to spot.
OP, that woman sounds like a raving bitch. I can only hope all "moms" (and I use that term loosely) who employ nannies aren't like that, though from some posters it seems they aren't. As for the Y chromosome producer who refused to change the poopie diapers...what a useless DI*K.
11:25pm, why (really) are you so pissed at OP? Does she sound familiar? Are you one of those people who label others 'RUDE" for not conforming to your abusive ways. Good grief!
I agree with Ro, 11:25pm, you have a lot of growing up to do. Nannies are very important people, and as you can see from all the posts on this site, a great nanny is very hard to come by.
I pity the idiots that abuse great nannies because they end up miserable over not finding a nanny good enough to replace the one that got away.
4:23PM, I hear you! Some parents are just too stupid to feed their own kids right during the nanny's off hours. I had a cracker-feeding family. Yes, the kids ate crackers all freaking weekend, and it really pissed me off. And the little one always had some seriously painful diaper rash every monday morning. I prefer the panicky organic-food-eating parents over the happy go lucky idiots.
11:25...I kind of see your point, but why so much anger about it? Maybe you need to look for another job. You seem very bitter. There was certainly a better way to make your point seem more valid.
Wow! 1:54am, you are great! I love the way you advised 11:25am without kicking his/her rear. I want to be more like you, seriously :)
Yikes! I meant 11:25pm, not 11:25am. I am going to sleep.
1.25 you are definitely an ass.
i meant 11.25 sorry but not about the ass thing
Ass indeed...
OP, there is probably nothing you can do about the
jeans comment. People do not grow smart overnight.
Your boss obviously likes to feel superior - she probably needs to - and it is up to you to see if you
can take it or not. The time thing now is another story. I would broach the subject with your employers - if they are always late and you are not getting paid
for it, this is definitely not right.Tell them firmly but politely that you have "a life and places to get to" in words that they can understand. About the potty I would also sit down with them and explain in very professional terms that you cannot go on with the potty training process if they keep using disposable diapers during the week-end. Honestly I feel it might be even worse for the child than for you. Just try to spell it out as matter of factly as you can - you are the smart one, after all - but as other people have said, give it up if it is too much - dumb people can be a lot to bear.
OP, if I can give you any positive advice, it's to please move on to a new job!! I know (from experience) that you can do better! I stayed with a family for FAR too long that was just like this! I spent countless weeks which turned into months teaching their 2 year old to potty train only to have it wrecked over the weekend (every weekend.) (Yes, I started at 2 years and at the age of THREE years old, due to them putting him back in diapers over the weekend he still couldn't go potty in the toilet!) All my hard work was futile, as their laziness prevailed! I spent countless days, every day, feeding him special foods, only to have him sick every Monday for eating foods that I quote "he may have been allergic too!" I got blamed for this, thought I kept a list of the products that he "may be allergic to" and NEVER fed them to him! I remember on one particular monday, the little boy being VERY ill! His sippy cup was empty so I went to fill it and all that was in the fridge was Orange Juice (an allergy of his) I brought this up to the father who played completely dumb and said "I don't think he's allergic to that!" Unbelievable. I gave him water all day instead, and faced several fits! To make a long story short, poopy diapers went unchanged unless I changed them, each week I had to start over because of the parents who virtually erased everything (all my hard work) I did over the week!...food allergies were fed by the parents and they treated me "subpar". I stayed for just over a year, and I can tell you, it's not worth your time honey! I am worth A LOT more and so are YOU...btw I am with a GREAT family now! Move on, you won't regret it!
OP, if I can give you any positive advice, it's to please move on to a new job!! I know (from experience) that you can do better! I stayed with a family for FAR too long that was just like this! I spent countless weeks which turned into months teaching their 2 year old to potty train only to have it wrecked over the weekend (every weekend.) (Yes, I started at 2 years and at the age of THREE years old, due to them putting him back in diapers over the weekend he still couldn't go potty in the toilet!) All my hard work was futile, as their laziness prevailed! I spent countless days, every day, feeding him special foods, only to have him sick every Monday for eating foods that I quote "he may have been allergic too!" I got blamed for this, thought I kept a list of the products that he "may be allergic to" and NEVER fed them to him! I remember on one particular monday, the little boy being VERY ill! His sippy cup was empty so I went to fill it and all that was in the fridge was Orange Juice (an allergy of his) I brought this up to the father who played completely dumb and said "I don't think he's allergic to that!" Unbelievable. I gave him water all day instead, and faced several fits! To make a long story short, poopy diapers went unchanged unless I changed them, each week I had to start over because of the parents who virtually erased everything (all my hard work) I did over the week!...food allergies were fed by the parents and they treated me "subpar". I stayed for just over a year, and I can tell you, it's not worth your time honey! I am worth A LOT more and so are YOU...btw I am with a GREAT family now! Move on, you won't regret it!
11:25,
You are the type who is jealous that your nanny has nurturing insticts that you do not have. Your child and husband need her more than they need you.
I'm in the same situation. My employers always come home late ... even if I tell them that I need to leave on time because I have plans. Sometimes I think they just don't believe that I have a life besides being their nanny. I just got married and would like to spend more time with my husband, but they don't seem to care. I have to work late at least 3 nights a week and they always want me to work on weekends as well (but I only get paid $10 an hour, even on weekends and for extra hours).
Both my employers are really nice to me otherwise and I have been with them for 2 years. But I have not had a single raise in these 2 years. She is giving birth to a new baby soon and I have yet to hear them say anything about a raise. I guess I have to ask for it myself, even though it should be their courtesy.
When I started working for them, I got $11.25 and somehow over the years my salary has declined, while my hours have gotten more and more and my duties have changed from just being a nanny to being a nanny and a personal assistant! Doesn't that call for a raise?
9:11 am you are the one who should quit. You should've spoke up for yourself a long time ago about a raise. A lot of families will take advantage if you let them.
I am a nanny and I know that there are terrible families out there, but this kind of martyr tale simply doesn't move me. If you continue to work for people who don't respect you, do you know who's fault that is? YOURS.
There is no fairy godmother watching over all your selfless good work. No one is going to surprise you with a ball gown and a dreamy prince. GET A NEW JOB.
9:11, get out of there. When I got married, my ex-employers were the same way and then some. I finally had to cut the cord and go, I found a better family, that respects me, my husband, and my time.
9:11
They are taking advantage of you, because you are letting them. Can I ask where you live?? If you live in NJ or NY they pay at least $12-15 per hour and up. Did they ever write you a letter of recommendation when you started?? Since you have alot of experience why don't you go thru a nanny agency. I am sure you will make more money, and maybe less hours. Don't spend alot of time with a family thats not even yours
None of you nannies addressed my statement that only a dullard would post something on this site instead of bringing it up in person. If my nanny harbored resentment towards myself or my wife I would hope she would address it like a professional. If I saw her make an illogical post (like the OP) I would laugh and then send her to the unemployment line. And to insult her choice of expensive clothing - well it leads me to believe that her or her husband have worked hard to spend money on themselves. People in the service industry (nannies included) never tend to think of the flip side of the coin. Would you like to have someone working for you steal or cut out early on a job? No. If you don't believe me wait until you hire a contractor.
My new name is 11:25
What is to address? It is a rant. Many people are unhappy in their jobs and relationships and they rant to their friends.. or on anonymous boards.
As for you, crazy man-anonymous-1125-
did your wife okay you posting here?
My wife is at her office...working. Are you nannies? If so, shouldn't you be watching the children. When looking at the time and frequencies of the postings it makes me wonder how good of nannies you really are. I'm glad my kids are in the competent hands of a nanny who isn't surfing the web while working.
How do you know what your nanny is doing? You have no problem wasting your employer's time surfing the net. Why are nanny's held to a higher standard? If anyone should need a break then it is the nanny. Oh and by the way naptimes, downtime, retstime, preschool, playdates, school, religion classes, etc. Dont judge cuz you dont know.
Nannys are held to a higher standard because they are paid to care for a child every minute they are watching them. I own a business there I can surf the net, go golfing or do whatever I want at any time. Sorry to tell it like it is, but you guys are all way to high on yourselves. You should be happy people are willing to pay you for what mothers across the country do with little to no thank you.
Bums.
11:25
11:25/2:56, I'm glad too, since you are obviously the useless sperm-donor type who'd stand around watching while his kids drowned, thinking it was someone else's responsibility to save them.
Does your wife know that she is working her butt off to pay a nanny so that the dick-blob she's married to can spend his days surfing the web, engaging in catfights with all the nannies? I bet you look at porn sites when you're not here, and my money says you're bitter because all the nannies your wife has hired refused your slimy advances.
Spot on Cali Mom! Sadly though my wife does pay for the nanny. She is a high school teacher and doesn't make too much money, but what she does make pays for the nanny, car payments etc. My company brings in most of our family's income - income that I occasionally pass on to our nanny. As for porn - I love it! I come on this site now because no matter how dumb my employees act I know that there are worse. Cry babies like you make them look like champions!
11:25
Hehe 11:25 is a real douche. Your comments make me laugh because you are obviously trying to push buttons.Thanks for making me remember how grateful I am to have a hard working mature husband and am not married to a loser like you.
Ditto to that 4:49!!
I guess he has to look at porn since his wife and his nannies won't sleep with him. Bet his right hand is strong though.
My wife enjoys sex with me, so that isn't a problem. And just cause I act like an ass online to get a laugh out of you people that doesn't mean I am not a faithful husband. My nanny is in her late 50's and I can't imagine a 36 year old getting his jollies from that. Maybe the intern we had last summer, but certainly not the nanny.
Is that the only insult you can come up with for me? That I am a cheat? Come on nannies...you're smarter than that?
11:25
11:45 you may not be a cheat.....but are you flirting with me?
I wouldn't flirt with a nanny. Anyone with a job description of changing diapers, housekeeping and babysitting I would have lost interest in back in high school. My wife will get a kick out of all you guys posting though! Super!
11:25
I was being sarcastic. I wouldn't flirt with a 36 year old loser who spends his day on the computer goading nannies. You're too old and probably too fat for me.
Also doesn't your wife fit that description?
OP, it is clear from the various posts that some employers are at least as stupid as yours, but good families exist. Wish you the best
My wife isn't a super model becuase she has had two children. Just remember - you're a nanny. You're the person normal people have do all their crap work. You can mock me as much as you like, but at the end of the day all you are is a $10/hr nanny.
11:25
You're the one doing most of the mocking. I make a lot more than $10 an hour and if raising people's children is a crap job I feel sorry for any children you do have or may have in the future.You're not normal you're a pig.
$20??? WOW! You can buy a dang ol' farm in Lubbock for that much. Keep saving them pennies and one day you'll own a piece of heaven!
11:25
Oh and I didn't respond to your statement...I do trust my nanny to watch my kids. She is a nice lady, but I don't respect her intellect or motivation. She is a nice old lady that we met through church, but clearly she is not bright enough to succeed in the mainstream work force. Burping a baby and taking it on walks isn't as hard as it sounds. After all, you're doing it!
Why would anyone respond to this person proclaiming to be 11:25? I would guess nothing she/he/it says it true. Just ignore the trolls. Eventually they go away.
Post a Comment