Saturday

Totland in Berkeley, California

Received Saturday, August 18, 2007
This happened Aug. 16, between about 1:30 and 2:30, Woman about 60, Caucasian with dyed reddish blonde short curly hair, wearing celery-green tank top and slacks. A little girl who had introduced herself to another mom as Olivia, about 5 yo, Caucasian with dark brown curly hair and wearing a "fashionably" tie-dyed nicely cut t-shirt w/rhinestone lettering of some kind, and brown pants, possibly like yoga pants. Most of the time she wore only her shirt and underwear since she was playing in the water. No stroller or gear bag of any kind, At one point the woman had to hang the girl's shirt up to dry on the fence as she did not even have a change of clothing.

I first saw the woman sitting on a bench alone and assumed she was attending a child. Not long after however I saw her stretched out on the grass on her back with her sweater folded up under her head like a pillow, not moving a muscle and definitely not paying attention to anything going on. A few minutes later my son was playing near the water spigot where there is always a splashing tub that gets filled with water and I started talking with another mom who was watching her kids play along with the girl. It had been 15 minutes or so now since I had noticed the woman sleeping on the grass and I had started to think maybe she was just there on her own, to enjoy the lawn, warm sun, trees, general atmosphere etc. and I wondered about it to the other mom who said she had noticed the woman earlier with Olivia.

The water area is about 60 feet away from the lawn where the woman was sleeping with a large tree, expansive multi-level slide/climbing structure, and a concrete shallow ramp with raised edges between them, so even if the woman had sat up and paid attention she may not have been able to see Olivia playing in the water area, but she was flat on her back with her head directly on the other side of the large tree so there was no way she could have seen from that position, especially with her eyes closed?!

I could see her legs sticking out from behind the tree from where I was sitting watching my little boy and he played in the water for a good 40 minutes or more and the woman was flat on her back behind the tree the whole time. After he was all done playing in the water we changed his clothes and played with other stuff and it was not until still MORE time had passed before I saw the woman walking around, and she then had some very brief contact with Olivia. She then was sitting on another bench and seemed at least to be keeping an eye on Olivia, though not interacting.

This may have been a grandmother or other relative, I WAS paying enough attention to my own child that I did not hear anything they said to each other and the playground is about 75 feet square, but if Olivia's parents read this, I HOPE they will have a word with whoever it is about not zoning out completely while she is supposed to be keeping the little girl safe.

23 comments:

Anonymous said...

Wow, I just don't understand why people think it is perfectly safe and okay to take a nap while they're supposed to be watching chilren. Anything can happen in seconds. Unbelievable.

Anonymous said...

The sleeping Nanny is getting to be more and more common. I don't have a nanny, but I think, if I did, I'd secretly check up on her from time to time.

This website proves that a lot of parnts either don't care who cares for their children or they are getting fooled big time.

Anonymous said...

As someone who would never have a nanny, I find it foolish when people DON'T check up on their nanny from time to time. You can never be too careful. I do home daycare and I am amazed that despite my open-door policy and constant reminders to parents that they should feel free to pop in any time, they never never do. I understand that they can't do it every day or every week or even every month. But they just never have and they never do. They are lucky that I take good care of their children while they work for 9 to 12 hours a day, but they just seem to assume that I would when you really shouldn't blindly trust anyone regardless of references, background checks, etc. Honestly these high powered career moms seem more concerned with finding care that will be flexible and affordable than care that is excellent. It's sad. Perhaps that is the case with all of these mothers who hire below-par nannies. Just my two cents.

Anonymous said...

10:13, I know what you mean. I am a nanny and am amazed at how much parents trust me right from the start. Of course, I take excellent care of their children, but when they don't know me from Pete, I'd expect them to pop in every once in a while.

Anonymous said...

Soooooooooo too bad

Anonymous said...

10:13, i agree completely!

Anonymous said...

Why is a 5-year-old playing in her underpants in a park? I don't (and wouldn't) have a nanny, but if I did, she'd be fired on the spot for that alone!

Anonymous said...

oh, fiddlesticks and bubbles-
the little girl is probably a good little swimmer and the woman taking care of her knew it

Anonymous said...

being a good swimmer won't save her from being kidknapped.

Anonymous said...

fiddlesticks and bubbles?
who are you, julie andrews?

Anonymous said...

4:40: who said she was swimming anyway? They mentioned a spigott and splash tub. That is not swimming.

AND

4:14: My thoughts exactly.

Anonymous said...

Why are there so may commenters on here that don't have nannies? Is it just so you can preach about how terrible it is to have a nanny? You just come off as extremely judgemental and self righteous.

Anonymous said...

10:37,
10:13 here. If you are referring to my post, nowhere in it did I bash people with nannies, nor say anything that could possibly be interpreted as judgemental and self-rightous.
To answer your question? It is a free country, thank goodness. We can be here if we want to. So if all YOU came here to do is to bash people who don't have nannies, go elsewhere. The grownups are talking.

Anonymous said...

I suppose I was referring to you and every other woman who comes on here to stress that she does not have a nanny, and yes some of you get very judgemental.You jerk.

Anonymous said...

OP here, to clarify a couple things:

Yes, there is a spigot and a small plastic tub, the kind that can be filled with sand or water, that has a snap on cover, so no swimming involved. The question of water aside, the thing that bothered me most was that the person who was SUPPOSED to be taking care of the girl, who I'd say was 5 at the very oldest, was literally sleeping on the job, which I think any sensible caregiver should find COMPLETELY unaccceptable. Again, it may have been a grandma or relative, and in fact I'd hope so, as she was totally unprepared and incapable in my eyes of meeting the basic needs of her charge.

As for the playing in underwear, whenever it's hot there, there is ALWAYS a crowd of crawlers up to kindergarten age kids stripped down to diapers, underwear and sometimes just naked playing w/the spigot and the tub, making big puddles in the sand and playing in it, etc. I just have my little one strip down to his diaper, though I do pack a change of clothes just in case, and then he usually winds up taking off his diaper, which is actually fine by me as he is potty training and it helps remind him not to go by accident. It's a playground only, surrounded by houses, so there is nothing like a park surrounding it where only adults go, tennis courts, etc. All kids w/nannies and parents so no one bats an eye at this.

And concerning people w/out nannies reading here? I guess no one here is allowed to read any news concerning the trapped miners in Utah either since after all, none of us are miners or relatives of the miners or related in any way to any of the rescue workers or mine owners either? And what about the hurricame in Jamaica? Can we only read or talk about that if we are actually living in Jamaica right now?

Anonymous said...

No by all means every saintly SAHM should come on here and talk about how people should be raising their own children and how it's criminal to have a nanny, I suppose that is what this blog is truly about.

Anonymous said...

12:58...good for you!!! I agree completely!

Maybe the person who seems so defensive against SAHMs is one of those moms whose kids are raised by the nanny (Aunt Mommy, I believe they are referred to). I would hope she would be consumed with guilt. That may explain her defensive attitude.

I have no problems with people who have nannies, but I do think these parents who spend an hour a day with their kids, if that, are disgusting. Why bother having kids if you don't want to raise them yourself?

Anonymous said...

Nope not an Aunt Mommy just a nanny who works for a lovely mom.

Anonymous said...

There are lovely moms and lovely nannies and wonderful sitters who care about the children in their charge but there are also lazy, shiftless, shifty, mean, sadistical, careless, haphazard, spiteful and hateful, etc. persons who have a job and get a paycheck for taking care of children and are instead, doing them great harm. I, for one, look forward to the comments and diverse opinions about the sightings as well as the other posters' comments.

Anonymous said...

1:59...it is sooooo obvious you are the mom!

Lisa said...

I think it's great we are getting more posts from the SF Bay Area. I frequent Totland too.

Anonymous said...

I am buoyed that people from all over are being more mindful of what's happening to the children in their vicinity, especially with regard to poor supervision and care.

Anonymous said...

12:52....What????