Friday

"Reprimanding the nanny..."

Received Friday, August 31, 2007- Perspective & Opinion
I really just need an opinion. I need to know what techniques some people use when the need comes to reprimand the nanny for something she did wrong. I really love my nanny, and she never really does anything wrong. She is great with my kid and if I could find a way to keep her until my child is well into his adult-hood I would. However as far as the light housework that I give her to do or errands that need to be done, sometimes she messes up with that and then I have to go behind her and either run to the store to get what she missed off the list, or dust the playroom again after she does it. Other than that though, she is great. I don't want to yell at her like a child and I can't ground her obviously. She isn't a kid. I tried talking to her, but what sort of reprimand policy do some of you use when you need to rectify a situation?

71 comments:

Anonymous said...

hmmm.she messes up sometimes. Are you perfect?? You go behind her after she dust, are you that anal?? All other aspects of the nanny are great, I wouldn't complain. Look at the horrid nannies that you hear about abusing children,etc. You have nerve to complain over stupid stuff. Get real. I hope you say something to her and she quits

Please let us know

mdc said...

This woman is complaining about her nanny not dusting correctly. Why is a nanny dusting?

My "sighting" or story is much more topical.

Hire a housekeeper.

Is your nanny participating in the million nanny march on Park Slope?

Lauren said...

First, I suggest you choose a better word than "reprimand." Children are reprimanded for poor behavior. Nannies ought not be reprimanded for not dusting according to your preference.

If you have an issue with the quality of the nanny's work, talk to her about it and reiterate your expectations... just as you would expect your employer to do for you if you weren't doing your job well.

Also consider that you've asked your nanny to assume not only full child care duties, but also housekeeping duties; she may be worn thin with all of the expectations. If you prioritize the care of your children more than the cleanliness of the playroom, perhaps you should be grateful that she's good with your kids. If you care too much about the dust in the playroom, you may want to consider a housekeeper.

Anonymous said...

Ground her? You mentioning this implies you are trying to punish her?

No.

First off, nannies are not housekeepers. Secondly, you don't reprimand her. You say "Could you dust a little more thoroughly?"

b said...

I had this problem with a nanny I had. Turns out, she made the mistakes on purpose, hoping I would never ask her again. So maybe she is just lazy or expressing her resentment at you for asking? If she agreed to it in the beginning, sit her down and tell her and ask her if she is having any problems with the light housekeeping. (FYI-Dusting is not considered light housekeeping.)
I have heard that certain ethnicities are known for this practice. They would rather sit on a bench than run an errand so they forget things, or get lost or cannot find the place.

Anonymous said...

Big deal if she messes up dusting or doesn't get everything on the list at the store. I mean, really come on. You say you love her and would keep her forever if you could. Just get a housekeeper if you don't have time to do the cleaning yourself. I know you mentioned light housework, but if the nanny is taking as good care of your child as you say she is, then who cares about housework? Give me your nanny. I'll hire her. Also, what do you mean you obviously can't ground her? She isn't your kid. Cut her a break if you have a good nanny.

Anonymous said...

Let me guess. You are in Park Slope. You are the reason the nannies are staging a protest and trying to drag my nanny in to it. I respect my nanny!

Anonymous said...

2.51
get off your lazy ass high horse and dust yourself. you ohired a nanny not a maid

lauren said...

2:53-- Park Slope nannies are protesting? First I've heard of this...

Anonymous said...

I think some people post dumb stuff like this to get people started on a rant.

Leave your nanny alone if she is a good nanny. Nannies are not housekeepers, they are nannies. Bye the way, light housekeeping is considered maybe picking up a toy or two when the child is napping, if the child naps and putting their lunch dishes in the dish washer. Dusting, even if its just a play room, is not LIGHT housekeeping.

Anonymous said...

Nannies ARE NOT MAIDS

Anonymous said...

How about you just say to her:

I appreciate that you do the cleaning in the play room but it really isn't important for you to do that anymore. I will take care of it myself when I get home.

Its a simple as that. And please don't use the word reprimand when talking about your nanny. What do you want her to do? Sit in time out on the chair next to the kids when they act up?

Anonymous said...

When is this protest?? I was in the city yesterday didn't hear anything about it

Anonymous said...

should we look at your computer's history, perhaps it is laiden with dominatrix art. submissive porn.
someone has issues....

sorry but it sounds like you want to tan her hide.

Anonymous said...

This is the first I am hearing about the protest to. When is it?

Anonymous said...

protest or alleged protest is in park slope on tuesday. some mom signed on ub today and said she had called her precinct to complian that nannies were going to be protesting and that the officer told her that they did not have a permit and thanked her for alerting them. ??

PASADENA MOM said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Yaya said...

If you added these tasks (errands and housekeeping) after she was hired then you must also add more money if you want these things done properly. Otherwise, this is what us nannies call 'going on strike' against something.

Also, are you specific about what groceries you want her to get? Write as much detail as you can about the groceries because us nannies are not always used to buying your kind of groceries, such as "Bear Naked Fruit and Nut Granola in the Orange bag".

Anonymous said...

From OP:

Your right. I used the wrong words when I wrote this post. I should have worded it better or not have written it at all. My nanny helps me a lot with my child when I am working and I trust her fully. I get my kid back safe everyday and I should be thankful for that. Sorry Nanny. I'll buy her a gift certiciate for dinner or something and give her the day off so she can take her husband

Anonymous said...

OP.. that is very nice of you. Nannies stick with families longer when they are shown appreciation for the hard work they do.

PASADENA MOM said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Anonymous said...

Can I have your nanny, if you fire her?? Let me know

Jane Doe said...

All caps posts are deleted.

Anonymous said...

Why is your nanny doing housework and running your errands. Would you ask your housekeeper to care for your kids? This is not her job.

Anonymous said...

OP I'm glad to see that you have decided it's not worth it to scold your nanny. I am a nanny who when hired was told my main focus was the child and to do light housework. I now run endless errands and clean a lot and for no extra money. I do resent my boss sometimes and the only reason I stay is she makes up for it in other ways and acts appreciative and I'm planning on starting my own family and want this to be my last nanny job.

nk said...

I, too, was a nanny whose job included "light housework." As it was my first full-time position, I had no idea that the hours of cleaning I did each week were not "light" housekeeping. Granted, my kids were in school all day. But the main problem was that the mom always found something wrong, like OP. I missed a spot dusting, or forgot to wipe one mirror. Every day she lectured me about something, and it did make me feel like a kid who was being scolded.

I am a nanny, not a personal assistant, and most certainly not a maid. I left that position after two years, still a very tough decision, but I am now happily employed by a couple whose top priority, and mine, is the kids.

And by the way, as I'm not required or even requested to do any housework (other than picking up after the kids), I will sometimes do a little extra, like putting a load of laundry through. My employers respecting me and being very appreciative of extra things I do makes me want to do more for them. When you "scold" and lecture, all you get is resentment and unwillingness to help. Keep that in mind.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like your nanny doesn't consider herself a nanny/housekeeper/personal assistant.
Is there something like Fresh Direct where you live? Order your groceries on the net. so she doesn't have to do more than pick up one or two things occasionally. It isn't easy to grocery shop with children in tow.
If your kids are well taken care of, forget the dusting.

Anonymous said...

I don't know what ethnicity would have to do with someone half a$$ing work to not have to do it again.

That aside, nannies aren't housekeepers. She shouldn't be dusting, PERIOD. She also shouldn't be doing the bulk of your shopping. It's one thing to run out to pick up a couple of things needing replenishment, but quite another to leave long lists.

I'm glad you've decided not to "reprimand" the nanny.

Anonymous said...

Two words: Peapod and housekeeper--try them

Anonymous said...

What's Peapod?

Anonymous said...

I actually have had to deal with this in the past and I have a dry erase board in the pantry where I mark off her "demerits", every time she forgets an item at the market or she misses a spot dusting, etc, I mark down one demerit (or two/three for very important things) and every time she gets 5 demerits, I dock her an hour's pay. This has proven to be a very effective solution.

Anonymous said...

The nanny protest is tuesday, look in the child care section of craigs list, the info is there.

Anonymous said...

9:34 I feel sorry for the household staff that works for you. I can't imagine going into work everyday and seeing a damn board with "write ups on it".

Anonymous said...

9:34
Did she know about your "system" when you hired her?? I can't imagine its legal to garnish someones pay like that. I work in an office if I forget to order something I don't get docked pay

Anonymous said...

934's post is so obviously fake to get you people all worked up. I cannot believe you fell for it.

Anonymous said...

Do you think its fake??? Yes, thats why I wrote I can't believe its legal to dock someones pay

Anonymous said...

Nanny=child care professional.

Housekeeper=someone who cleans up after you

House Manager=person of all work who will do anything for you

If you want someone to clean, hire the right person.

Anonymous said...

Your nanny is NOT a child. You should not be punishing her with demerits is she forgets something at the store or misses a spot while dusting. Perhaps you should either hire another person for such tasks or do some of those things yourself. Last I checked, a nanny takes care of your children, and that job does not require dusting.

Anonymous said...

Is what she's not doing part of your arrangement with her? If so a refresher may be in order. If not, obtain a housekeeping service. Keep in mind (I've been saying this for years) if she doesn't know, it doesn't count.

Anonymous said...

10:38....I agree with your point, but it has been my experience (from people I know who have one) that a house manager does no labor type work at all....she manages the other domestic staff as well as maybe sets up schedules for the families.

pepper johnson said...

True but I have seen many good house managers have to show people how things are done.

A housekeeper is the order of the day.
Anyone else think it is weird that people who scrub toilets make more than people who take care of children?

Anonymous said...

First of all, be grateful that you have a nanny that you love so much. I'd rather that than someone who keeps everything perfect at the expense of caring for and loving my child.
Have you asked yourself why you think she might not be doing these things you have asked? Is she overdue for a raise and upset perhaps? Is she so involved with the kids that these other things slide? That would be a good thing and I'd hire Merrymaids and yes get Freshdirect!

Have another talk and tell her you really need things done a certain way and ask her if she has reasons she feels it doesn't get done. Let her talk and listen to her. And again... be grateful to have found such a wonderful nanny. That's worth every dusty lamp or forgotten loaf of bread.

Anonymous said...

Protesting Park Slope nannies?

What are they protesting? The fact that their napping in public isn't part of their official job description?

Losers!

I agree that nannies are NOT housekeepers. They are not personal assistants either. They are there to help co-raise your child.

Anonymous said...

I just read the ad. I wonder where their charges will be during this "protest."

Anonymous said...

Sounds like a great oppportunity to lock 'em all down and check their green cards.

jj said...

The nannies are going to call in sick. This is to teach their employers that they cannot live without them. The nannies are not going to call in sick until the last minute. And even though it takes place in Park Slope, they are calling on all nannies in NYC area to gather so they get press attention!

Anonymous said...

If they call in sick at the last minute for a protest they should all be fired on the spot and not given a good reference.

Not very smart. They're lying to their employers and then they'll be photographed in the press.

I can't wait for the aftermath.

I wonder if the JJ Byrne bench sitters will be there. Surely they deserve a 401k from their employers. Ha, ha, ha, ha!

I might take the day off just to watch. With my nanny!

cali mom said...

10:43, good point. And if they find many illegal workers, they will then find the employers who are hiring them illegally, off the books, and there might be some trouble all around, so that would be a good thing. It could also open up some nannying jobs for LEGAL workers and force the deadbeat cheapskate employers to pay the required taxes for their employees, to the benefit of all WORKING people, so I hope it happens.

I'm not clear either on what they are "protesting" about. If you work for a great family, no need to protest. If the family is a bunch of a$$holes, look for a better job. If you don'[t like working in the industry, switch careers. If they skip out on work and get themselves fired by the good families OR the a$$hole families, what have they gained??

cali mom said...

Sorry for the obvious typo.

And also, am I the only one who suspects that the employers are spitting mad about this planned protest BECAUSE they might get busted for illegally hiring illegal immigrants? Maybe that happens more in California than NY though, what do you all think?

Anonymous said...

I, for one, believe these people to be a bunch of illegals who haven't considered the possibility of being busted. Such a strong sense of entitlement...

Anonymous said...

oh, leave it be, woman.

Anonymous said...

Paying off the books 10:20?

Anonymous said...

if the dusting and errands are so important to you, then let her know in a mature manner. do you have times when you both get together and talk about how everything is going? you just need to reiterate what it is you want accomplished. "you do a fantastic job with the kids and i am so grateful for that. i know i may be a bit of a stickler, but could you make sure that when you _______ you ___________? that would be such a great help to everyone in the house".

now, in my opinion, you hired a nanny for childcare. if she is doing a great job in caring for your children, then a little non-perfect dusting really isn't a big deal. are your kids happy and well cared for? that is all that should matter.

Anonymous said...

I think Cali Mom is right on target....."employers are spitting mad about this planned protest BECAUSE they might get busted for illegally hiring illegal immigrants?"
Yes, there are many illegal women working in NYC, plus many legal to work who are paid off the books. As a result, it can be very difficult to find a job with a family willing to pay on the books.

I don't know anyone who is planning to take part. Moms, if your nanny is paid decently, treated well, and you have good communication, she will show up on Tuesday.
NYC Nanny

Rob said...

In my opinion it is alway a good idea to use humor when you have to reprimand someone.

Also, missing something off a list isn't perhaps all that terrible after all (unless it's a check list for flying an airplane of something) ;-)

Anonymous said...

I guess the nanny protest was a big dud. Didn't see it, didn't hear about it. I was near to the location at the said time and nada. Perhaps it was a big hoax.

Anonymous said...

It sounds like you have a good nanny and you get on well which can make it hard to reprimand her. I would suggest you sit her down when the children are asleep and talk to her calmly and pleasantly. Start off by telling her you think she is doing a great job looking after your children and you don't know what you'd do without her. Then perhaps tell her there are one or two small things that you'd appreciate her doing a little better. If you keep a pleasant demeanor and she doesn't think you are 'telling her off' I think she will listen to your comments. Maybe finish by again telling her what a great job she's doing with your children and you are pleased that you can both have little chats like this.

Anonymous said...

I think you should stop being so picky! You have a great nanny and be thankful for that...she is not your personal servant, she is there to take good care of your child!

Heather-Anne said...

I say play to your Nanny's strengths. You hired her mainly to take care of you childen not be your housekeeper. Her talent obviously lies with taking care of your children because you siad you really like her. I would just reassign teh duties to someone else. All of her attention should be on the children and not the errands and that is probably why things get done incorrectly...her focus is else where.

My advice. Never hire a Nanny/Housekeeper. You will never be happy. Nanny is for children...Housekeeper is for things and errands.

Anonymous said...

Youy spoiled pretencious lady. A nanny is not a housekeeper and you should not her to dust anything. How about you stay at home and take care of your child and your house.

Anonymous said...

are you for real? you sound like a spoiled brat! how much do you pay your nanny? not enough i'm sure! is she good with your children? that is the main concern! if she forgets to pick up something at the store or doesnt do a chore as you would like it to be done, do it yourself!!! you should be so lucky to have help, even paid help. find a new slave if you dont approve of the one you have!

Anonymous said...

If you hired her as a nanny and she takes proper care of your children, leave it alone. If part of her original agreement was to housekeep and errand run point out how you would like the dusting done and if she forgets something on a list, as we all have done, add it to the next days list. I have been a nanny 5 yrs, stay at home mom 13 yrs (no help) and a working mom (with help) 4 yrs. From my perspective this is not anything you should need help answering, it seems awfully petty.

Anonymous said...

I was a nanny for 7 yrs then they asked me to do house keeping and cooking besides being a nanny. I told them no. They let me go. They told their next nanny to do it and they found out it wasn't working out. They hired a housekeeper/cook and they have the nanny.

Anonymous said...

This just reminds me of years ago (before I was a SAHM)when I worked as a Home Care Nurse. The agency that employed me also employed housekeepers for people who were unable to care for themselves and their home.

Do you think this agency would have ever asked me to clean the client's home since I was there doing their health care anyway? No Way! Do you think I would have done it if they asked? No Way! That was not what I was there for.

Your nanny is not there to do your household chores. Such work is not her area of expertise. Her focus should be on the kids and you are cheap and neglectful if you want to take her away from your kids to do your menial tasks.

Even if you do not choose to stay home and raise your own kids, surely you can carve out some time to stop at the store and do a little dusting or hire someone whose job it is to do so!

Jeez! Get over yourself!

Anonymous said...

Why are you asking your nanny to dust?? You should hire a housekeeper for that. Your nanny should just be worrying about watching your kids, not cleaning or going to the store for you. Your kids should be her first and only priority.

Anonymous said...

What is wrong with you people, if your nanny forgot something so what? The mere fact is she is a nanny and she is supposed to be taking care of your CHILD thats it! Errands are for personal assistants so get yourself a personal assistant and LEAVE THE NANNY ALONE!!!

Reality Check said...

You nannies are a bunch of morons. First off, why are you on this site? If you're a good nanny then you wouldn't have any reason to be on a blog of this nature.
Secondly, you complain that you are nannies, not housekeepers. We're talking about dusting and grocery shopping...not quite quantum physics. I'm a nanny - leave the cleaning to someone else. Ha! You act as if the child doesn't park in front of the tv or Xbox as you relax. You guys should all think about going to school, getting a real job and starting your own families. The one thing this site and you nannies is good for is a laugh!
Ha Ha Ha1

Anonymous said...

The reality is my nanny was a teacher in the NYC public school district for a year before returning to school to get her masters. She dropped out shortly after and became our nanny. That was three years ago. She has been wonderful for three years and last year grossed 81K (on the books).

My opinion. Some nannies are just looking for an easy ride. These are the people that have alternate options as frycooks or grocery baggers.

Not my nanny.
People in NYC will pay top dollar for a profesional.

mollywobbles said...

Your NANNY didn't dust or pick up the groceries for you so you want to scold her like a child. If my parent did that to me I'd refuse to go to the store or only pick up what the child can/will use and forget the dusting. Employers who hire a nanny should expect CHILD care not a household servant. If she's doing everything to your wants what is your child doing?

Unknown said...

I do expect my nanny to clean, cook and look after my child. To be me when I can't. Nothing wrong with it, you all judgemental for the wrong reasons, that's what's wrong with the world today.... Lazy ppl

Karen en Pierre du Plessis said...

I do expect my nanny to clean, cook and look after my child. To be me when I can't. Nothing wrong with it, you all judgemental for the wrong reasons, that's what's wrong with the world today.... Lazy ppl