Thursday

Grandfather-Totland in Berkley, CA

Received Thursday, August 23, 2007-Non Nannies
I saw an incident at Totland just Wednesday, Aug. 22, around 1:30, involving a grandfather and a little boy who I think the man called Dane. The little boy was about 2 at the oldest, Caucasian, with thick, slightly reddish very light brown hair and was wearing only a diaper. Grandfather was Caucasian too, tallish, around 65 with grayed dark colored hair.

For some reason Grampa thought it very important the boy put his shorts back on, though he didn't say they were leaving, the weather was very hot, and he had on a diaper so there was no potty issue. This in itself would not be a major concern but the boy didn't want the pants on and started to run away, and the man responded by YANKING him by one arm and then picking him up by one arm and yelling loudly enough for people 30 feet away to hear "BAD BOY, YOU RAN AWAY FROM GRANDPA! BAD BOY!! YOU RAN AWAY FROM GRANDPA!"

It makes me sick to see someone handle a child so roughly and yell so meanly. If a child is doing something inappropriate, I think it's very wrong to label THEM as "bad" instead of explaining why their behavior is unacceptable, let alone to handle them so roughly as to potentially cause injury. A while later after Grandpa had gotten all his clothes on him, with Dane crying hysterically the whole time, they left to "go see mommy". That was at about 2:00.

Once again, I WAS busy watching my own child, who was climbing on a structure, and I felt that some stranger approaching this guy and confronting him for treating the boy like that would not likely make him modify his behavior. (BAD GRANDPA!) But I hope Dane's parents will see this and reconsider allowing Grandpa to look after that poor little boy.

36 comments:

Anonymous said...

ok so as a nanny i can appreciate this. it isnt i saw your grandpa, sure but it makes the point that rather so so unfortunately lots of people are cluieless when it comes to kids.

Anonymous said...

Yeah, I almost wonder, to give him the benefit of the doubt, if this was due to TOTAL ignorance more than meanness. Child raising has thankfully changed alot since that guy would have had young kids. But this is sad and I hope the parents see it.

Anonymous said...

I agree, some people are clueless. My children and charges know the numeous meanings and variations of the word 'BAD', but I don't throw it around anyhow. It is reserved for very special circumstances such as when we are talking about guns, drugs, violence, environmental degradation, or crime.

Anonymous said...

This is terrible but this is a nanny sighting site.

Anonymous said...

Honestly, OP, this is ridiculous. Some people parent differently. You can probably bet that the grandpa raised "Dane's" parents, and that they do the same thing. This is not a BAD sighting, this is just something some people disagree with. This is way too "tattle-tale" and not something people need to freak out over.

Anonymous said...

2:39
Did you happen to see the bold typed word that says NON NANNIES? or the word in the post that says Grandfather? If so, why did you feel the need tp point out it was not a nanny sighting? Did you think we were confused?

Anonymous said...

come on grow up...nothing better than a grandpa..so he is old school..so what?
much better that he stoped the boy than running away from grandpa and running into street...
so keep watching your child and shut your mouth....

Anonymous said...

5:07...hopefully Dane's grandpa only fathered one of Dane's parents, otherwise that would be weird.

Anonymous said...

Nothing like a fun day out with Grandpa, eh?

Anonymous said...

It's his grandfather for christ sakes lay off.

Anonymous said...

why is it, it seems you're all a bunch of angry middle-aged bitches... who have nothing to do but rip on the people who post a sighting- and then on eachother!

chill out, woman! get laid. something.

Anonymous said...

8:20:

OP here. Next time you see the word Grandfather in the title, skip the post and save yourself and the rest of us a bit of your misery and ignorance. I guess you and some others think that if there is a blood connection between a child and an adult it's fine and dandy for the adult to yank the child's arm out of the socket if they can't be bothered to "parent" more efficiently? I can only hope you are never allowed to breed but sadly, it seems YOUR parents already have. But you sound a lot like one of the bad nannies sighted here that likes to yell at charges and yank them around roughly.

I should have clarified in the original post that this playground is entirely fenced in, as are most playgrounds here, so the child could NOT run into the street, the only issue is that Gramps didn't want to have to deal with catchiing a small child who didn't want his pants on.

Anonymous said...

OP:
you go girl!

Anonymous said...

How much do you want to bet that OP and 1:40 are the same person? Its good that she gave herself an hour in between to try to fool everyone, smart girl huh?

Anonymous said...

Jeez-us, are you serious, OP? I am embarrassed for you that you even took the time to type that "sighting". Maybe you should start a site called "I saw your grandpa" and all you yentas can discuss how to teach a 65 year old man how to "reason" with a 2 year old.

Anonymous said...

That grandfather needs a good smacking and if my dad treated my toddler like that I'd sure as hell want to know about it!

Really, some of you are so miserable, bored and obsessed with finding lowly nannies to bitch about and other posters to slam, that I think you'd RATHER a child get injured because it would give you something to gossip about. Is your nanny named Scarlett???

Anonymous said...

Mrs. Annoyed be You! ~ You are a crass pig who obviously has nothing better to do than belittle people for doing the very thing you are on here doing.

Anonymous said...

So the nannies are putting all the kids to bed and the Botox Bitches are just getting started...

Anonymous said...

Suppose this story had involved a nanny and not a Grandpa. Would it still be OK?

Anonymous said...

I don't think the grandpa acted poorly. A kid shouldn't be yanked and called "bad" everytime he does something wrong....but for christ sake, hasn't anyone here ever had several kids running around while trying to change the poopy diaper of a baby who is trying to stick their hands in the poo--I YANK there legs or push their hands strongly away--am I BAD, ABUSIVE? haha...yet over yourselves...

"YOU GO GRANDPA!!!" I can think of plenty of situations where a kid needs a good yanking, not a spanking...how about the tempter tantrum kids who throw themselves on the floor, only to be retrieved by a good yanking? As they physically WILL NOT GET UP...

Anonymous said...

9:24, all your scenarios were not the case here. Grandad was alone with one child who was not throwing a tantrum or in any danger or causing any imminent danger to anyone else and he chose simply out of frustration to yank and carry the small child by one arm which can cause a dislocation. If I saw you yank your infant by one arm hard enough to cause injury just because you were frustrated at having to change a diaper, I'd report it too. And I'd sure bet you'd act differently if this were a nanny yanking the child around like that.

Anonymous said...

If that is how Grandpa treats his Grandchild that's obviously how he raised "Mom" or "Dad". Let's get real, aside from the abused, not too many people will go up against their OWN parents regarding child rearing! In fact, most adults have asked their parents at one time or another for ADVICE on what to do in certain situations with their own children. Grandpa might be a bit "old school", but I'm sure he's still using the same tactics he used on his own children...and I doubt mom and dad are so in the dark that they don't know how their own father/father-in-law behaves around their child. It's not as if Grandparents are only alone around their Grandchildren (as nannies tend to be with their charges) and I'm sure he has nothing to hide as it's not a job, but a member of his family that he loves.

Anonymous said...

Many people become short tempered and irritable with age, declining health etc. I know my own mother, who was a great mom to four kids, has a hard time with the grand kids crying, noise etc.
This may be the case with grandpa, and his son or daughter may not realize how hard it is for him to be in charge of his grandson.

Cali Mom: LOL, Botox Bitches indeed!

Anonymous said...

my mil is an impatient bitch. she asks often to take dd to the park. the answer will always be- "yes let me grab my keys". She will never be alone with my child! Some people just shouldn't be.

Gram poppy is too damn rough. Deal with it.

Anonymous said...

12:04AM, please do tell us more about your 'mil'.

Anonymous said...

My gosh, when my kids try to bolt from me out in public, I have to grab real quick otherwise I find myself chasing after a speedy toddler. Now back to grandpa, yanking, then picking up with one arm, while yelling at the kid seems a bit too much.

Anonymous said...

maybe granpa just needed a diaper change.

Anonymous said...

Um, I think you need to relax.

Anonymous said...

Lighten up on grandpa. It is worse to have the kid run and dart into traffic, or into some other harm.

Anonymous said...

OP said playground was fenced in so boy couldn't run into traffic. Pay attention.

Anonymous said...

I agree with those who don't find this sighting to be a huge deal. There are various ways of parenting or taking care of children and you don't know how the child had acted previously in the day to have grandpa respond in that fashion. The child was clearly being a pain, thus resulting in grandpa's reaction. Sometimes "harsher" punishment is needed to help children understand what is considered good behavior and bad behavior.

Anonymous said...

Get real!!!!!!!!!! I am a mom of three kids, and I have always told them its bad to do the wroung thing. He was beening a good grandpa for telling him he was a bad boy for running away..... What would you like to see? A missing boy or a caring grandpa?

Anonymous said...

Honestly, if this was the kids grandfather, I'm sure the parents are aware of how he disciplines. Child rearing and all of that stuff has changed a lot, and for grandpa, that's how it was done. I'm 20 years old and it wasn't absurd for me, my siblings and cousins to get hit when we were younger. If that happened now, it'd be completely different. But I will say this, yanking the kid while he's running away makes sense, but picking him up by one arm is ridiculous. Their arms can dislocate really easily, I was walking with a three year old, holding her hand, she tripped on the curb so instinctively I just grabbed her so she wouldn't completely fall. Her arm ended up getting dislocated, and her parents said it had happened 3 times before. Was I a bad babysitter for that one? No, sometimes accidents happen.

Anonymous said...

Someone said:
"Honestly, OP, this is ridiculous. Some people parent differently. You can probably bet that the grandpa raised "Dane's" parents, and that they do the same thing. This is not a BAD sighting, this is just something some people disagree with. This is way too "tattle-tale" and not something people need to freak out over."
5:07 AM

Don't you realize that picking a child up by ONE ARM can cause damage to the child's arm? If I were the mother/father of this child, I'd like to know if my father/father-in-law were man-handling him!

Anonymous said...

Yes, many people are looking straight past the picking up a baby by one arm, which is very dangerous and should only be done if unavoidable and necessary to save a child from imminent death. Stop them from running in front of a car, for instance. Injuring a child, or handling them so roughly as to allow that possibility, is NOT acceptable "parenting" or punishment EVER.

If someone gets that upset at something so commonplace as a 2 year old resisting their directives (go figure!) they should not be left alone with children.

Anonymous said...

Picking up by one arm is a bit excessive, however a lot of grandfathers were not the caregivers back in their day. They don't know any better. Also, the saying he was bad for doing something wrong...isnt a "sighting" that's a difference in parenting (eg some people spank their children, some people wont) He couldnt have chased after this child at his age, he had to grab him up quickly..with the arm the only thing i can figure is he more than likely couldnt bend down enough to grab the childs entire body. I don't think this is a "sighting" so much as it is a difference in parenting.