Received Thursday, June 21, 2007
(In response to original post which has since been removed.)
Hello, I am the daughter of the nanny in question and I feel I should express the way how I feel about the situation. My mother has been a nanny for sixteen and a half years, basically my entire life. She is a single mother and does her darn best to raise us. She expresses to us that education is the key and will help to uplift us. I will be entering college in the fall and I am grateful for her to have stood by my side all these years. My mother has worked with numerous families for long period of times, ranging from Bronxville to Mt. Kisco. We have met all of the families that my mother has worked for and still keep in contact with quite a few. We share Christmas and birthdays with these families as well. I feel these allegations are false not just because its my mother but she always expressed to us about liars. She always says "Once your a liar your a theif". As a teen at times I may lie to get myself out of trouble but for some reason she would always know. I think this can potentially harm my mother's reputation and also cause her to lose her job.
84 comments:
Now THIS is something worth reporting! I'm thinking that the parents don't know that the nanny hits the kid. Hope that they see it!
As a former nanny and childcare provider, I usually try to see the nanny's side. However in this case I would actually call someone at the school and report it. Or the police. This is serious. It's not ok.
Thank you for the post, but I would report it further.
-a mom
PLEASE report this to the school, and officially request that the school notify the parents. It is imperative that you do this. Please, do it.
You should contact the school. I would want to know as a parent. Maybe CPS also
Where did she hit him....was it like a slap to the face or a spanking. Either way I am not saying it's right. But, I am a nanny and the parents want me to spank because that is how they punish the child. I don't do it though but it is possible that it's allowed in some cases. Either way the parents should be notified.
The kid's parents are not very smart for telling the nanny to hit their kid. The spanking parents that I have encountered prefer that THEY do the spanking (not hitting), not someone else.
10:10PM, you are doing the best thing for not agreeing to spank your charge.
If you are a dumb ass nanny and you get called on smacking the shit out of your 'charge', what the hell are you going to say?
When I was 10, my Dad caught me taking a $5 bill out of my mom's wallet and I said, "Mom said I could".
REPORT this to the school!
The very notion that any adult should use physical force on a child makes me angrier than 4 liberals in a taco bar.
Grrrrrrrr...
11:08
A taco bar? I dont' get it.
My child knows Koby. I will report the incident.
good keep us posted 10:15
11:08 PM
You manage to bash liberals in every post, no matter how unrelated to the issue at hand. I don't know which is more offensive, your vitriol, or your foul language. I have never met a liberal who believed in spanking BTW.
10:15 Here.
I reported the incident to the school and had her take a look at this post. She seemed very concerned and thanked me for calling. She will contact the parents.
I seriously doubt that Koby's parents would tell this nanny that it's okay to hit their child. And even if they did, which I don't believe for a minute that they would, her response should have been, "I'm sorry but I don't feel comfortable hitting children, especially other people's children."
This nanny should not be in the childcare field. Thanks to the person who posted this. You have helped a small child from being abused. If this happened to my children I would want to know about it. Thanks again.
NO, THANK YOU 10:15...you did a good job reporting it to school...lets see whats next??
Good job, OP. I doubt the nanny has permission to hit the child, just a hunch.
Thank you 10:15!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Please let us know how things turn out! And thank you OP! Great job everyone! A great example of what this website is designed for! So glad some good can come of this situation.
I'm the nanny in question. I did not hit the little boy, I just called him over and firmly reprimanded him and sat him on the bench between us. The mom kept saying it's okay and I responded by saying "No its not okay". I told her thats not allowed. He tried to get up and I tapped the bench twice and told him to sit back down. When we got home I told the child to tell his dad what he did at the park,he did. He also told him I gave him a long timeout. I would never raise my hand to hit this little boy. When i was interviewed the parents distinctly told me, hitting is not allowed, I would be out of my mind to hit this little boy in the park or anywhere else for that matter. His parents is loving, caring and very protective of him.
So why would someone say that you did if you did not?
Doesn't add up.
I think a few of you are missing a few brain cells. Take your focus off the nanny for just one second,the woman who posted this character is shady and questionable.
11:30, your post is not clear. Can you clarify what you mean to say? Thank you. What do you mean by "the woman who posted this character is shady and questionable"? What character?
Isn't New Rochelle known for it's gang activity? Now we have some sort of shady character possibly outing a physically abusive nanny? I think the cops should be called to stand guard at that playground. We don't need the children witnessing a rumble.
Someone's withholding the truth.
OP said the nanny hit the child. Nanny said she did not hit the child. 11:30 cryptically declared OP crazy, If OP, Nanny, the school, 10:15, and 11:30PM know about this blog, the parents should know about it. Does anyone know what the parents have to say about the alleged hitting?
I cross path with OP and the New Rochelle park. I was saying to myself crazy reffering to the High School kids who was sitting on top of the baby swing running each other over with the younger children around. She said she was saying the same thing to, we started to talk and I told her that i had to wait twenty five minutes to put the younger ones on the swing. The little boy came up to me and called me by name, she turned and asked me if they are not my kids I replied, "No, I'm the nanny". She replied "I thought you were because you pay so much attention to the kids, unlike some of the other nanny's and mothers who are always on their phone or talking to their friends". When the incident happened we were both sitting on the bench taking a little rest while the kids were playing under the hidden table. I called my child out who by then started to cry, I told him to hold out his hand so that I could brush off the sand of his hand and clothing while she went and got her son. She came back and we sat on the bench with the kids sitting between us I told her my kid has sand in his eyes she quickly said she did not see her child throw the sand and I replied neither did I. I asked her for a wipe and she gave it to me I said to her his eyes are so red. I turned to my child and told him to look at the little boy eye, He then closed his eyes and said, "I'm sorry". The mom turned to me and said its not from the sand he has pink eyes. I said to myself pink eyes, I have to go I didn't want to be rude or mean so I told the kids we would be leaving in a minute. He was sitting on the bench and she was asking where does he go to school I told her, she then asked him his age and he told her. She even asked if he was in the same class with the other child, I said I dont know I only drop and pick him up. The little boy told her yes and he is always doing this and OP said it sound like him because his parents dont tell him to stop. I knew OP in fifteen minutes, she talked about everything. If I was going to hit my child would I hit him in front of OP, in a park? As soon as I walked in the house I told him to tell his dad what happened in the park, he did and told him I gave him a long timeout.
(NO hit NO slap) Two hours later his mother came home and I told her about the incident at the park.
This reminds me of The Crucible a mere accusation turned into hysteria and chaos. The nanny did in fact state that OP got up to retrive her child by then Nanny was probably brushing the sand off Koby's hand which may in fact look as though she was slaping him.As we all may know sand is very difficult to get off without water. OP's judgement is somewhat questionable. While nanny was probably yelling at the child it may have seemed as though she was hitting him but she probably was brushing the sand off. I agree with Nanny.
OP FIND A NEW HOBBY
Wow ... I guess brushing the sand off a kids hand (and it is difficult!), could look to observers that he is being swatted. But what about the comment: I'm allowed to hit him? Somebody would be lying. That would suck if the Nanny was completely innocent and the parents were falsely notified - people have to be absolutely sure ... you could totally upheaval someones life and ruin it. What a messed up posting this turned out to be.
I agree with 10:50 find something to do in your spare time, try something new in your life....gossiping leads no where
Why would I be brushing off the sand and telling OP its okay im allowed to hit him???
I am inclined to believe the nanny. Mainly because OP knew what school Koby attended. That would indicate that she and the nanny had quite a chat. Why did she post on here, anonymously, rather than contact the parents through the school?
She gives no details of what she saw, where/how nanny "hit" him.
What did the parents say?
Why would some OP make this up unless you were nasty to her?
I am not saying that is a good reason, it just sounds like your conversation was very polite.
The "nanny" sounds a little defensive to me...feeling the need to defend herself and her actions to strangers over and over.
Hello all. I am a mother of a toddler in Westchester County and a former full time employer of the nanny involved in this incident. First off, I would like to state that I have never heard of this website before yesterday. It was then that I learned about the situation regarding my former employee. I thought long and hard about posting to this site as I was not at the playground and did not witness the incident. However, I felt compelled to offer my opinion. I have know this nanny for years. I still employ her on an occasional basis and will continue to do so. My child and family are extremely fond of her. I am the wife of a physician in the community and came into contact with her through a network of wonderful friends and her agency. I have employed contacts through the hospital with the greatest of credentials, but consider this nanny to be a notch above the rest. She came to me with background screening through an agency and stellar references. She is an exceptional caretaker of my child with a kind yet firm demeanor. My child is of an age where she is able to speak and effectively communicate. She adores this woman and speaks lovingly of her. I have never, in the years I have know this nanny, witnessed aggression or hostility towards my child or any other. Additionally this nanny has raised two daughters of her own. I consider them both to be two exceptional young ladies. I find it extremely difficult to find these allegations true. If they are not, how completely unfortunate. This has resulted in the potential loss of this nanny's job and the damage to her wonderful reputation. I am saddened by these postings and hope for some type of positive outcome.
If you keep a small bottle of 100% corn starch baby powder with you in the stroller, then you can use it to easily remove sand from hands and feet! Great at the beach too.
to ble:
I would be defensive too if strangers were making accusations of me, and you would feel the same. As 3:20 stated, it has caused damage to reputation which I'm sure has greatly hurt her and her family. If you have never been the victim of slander than you don't know how it feels. People lie all the time. My former employer was angry with me after I called attention to certain things in my contract that she was violating (unpaid overtime, change in agreed-upon hours, etc.) and she told more than one family I babysit for that I was a bad nanny and unreliable, even though she was still employing me and I had no idea she felt this way. She also spread other lies about me. I was lucky enough to have other solid references and the people she gossiped to knew me so they didn't believe her but one little lie can ruin someone's rep.
If you can't understand her feeling the need to defend herself, you are ignorant.
I didn't pay much attention to this post when it went up b/c it's not in my area & it seemed kind of cut & dry to me. But, reading these comments has been so interesting. I totally believe in the "wisdom of crowds" theory and the fact that so many people are coming down on the nanny's side (not a normal thing on this site at all, especially when possible abuse is involved) is really significant.
Nanny involved,
You do know you have the right to submit your side of the story to the blog and it will be posted in the same post as the incident?
What is wrong with this OP?
Did you look at her wrong or something?
Does she have it in for you?
TO ANONYMOUS 4:06:
Perhaps you have never heard the phrase "Methinks the lady doth protest too much" from Hamlet.
I am not saying the nanny is definitely guilty, maybe just young and nervous, but it widely know that if you know you are innocent, you state the facts and leave it at that because you have nothing to hide and therefore do not care what others think of you (particularly those who do not even know you). It is typically guilty ones who feel the need to over-explain a situation.
If the nanny is innocent, which she very well may be, then she needs to take comfort in the fact that she has truthfully stated her case and now close her mouth (or fingers, in this case) before she starts to look guilty. I am also sure if she is so innocent and well-liked, her employers will believe her and the truth will come out in the end.
And that knowledge comes from life experience as well extensive training in human behaviour NOT ignorance, as you so kindly it.
3:12
doesnt she have a right to be defensive if she did nothing wrong? i mean come on are you stupid? this person comes here talking crap about something she THOUGHT she saw and you have nerve to get uptight because she is defending herself? this is why this website is so unfair. its ONE SIDED. the accused person doesnt always get a chance to tell their side of the story! someone has even posted in her defense so now all of you who jumped on the bandwagon in the beginning look stupid! alot of you are just a bunch of bored women out there wanting something to bitch about. im on the nanny's side and think this bullshit post should be removed!
I am completey suspect over the whole thing now since the 3:20 post came up. I was all for believing that 9:08 & 9:38 were the Nanny in question. Either way ... from the round of questions that the Nanny describes the OP asking the little boy right before they left the playground sounds as if to me that she had planned all along to post a "bad nanny" sighting. Must be that she has nothing else better to do. And I don't believe for one second that somebody would tell a perfect stranger, "I am allowed to hit that kid". BS.
"If it doesn't make sense ... it ain't true." ~ famous words of Judge Judy Sheindlin.
I agree with 12:26 as well as 12:13, if you have your reputation at stake you are going to want to explain and defend yourself. If you read her former employers statement she has two kids, she has a lot to lose. I agree with you nanny and I hope it all turns out in your favor...this cased is dismissed
This nanny sounds like an exceptional woman. It seems as though she has been doing this for years. With her stellar references her current employers should look past this incident and move forward. One person shouldn't have to cause this woman her life. I have to side with the nanny this time.
sounds to me like Koby's parents know she met some crazy troublemaker at the playground.
She handled herself well.
That says a lot!
I think OP is angry because the nanny's charge threw sand in her son's eyes, and she didn't like the way she handled it...wasn't apologetic enough, didn't punish charge severely, whatever.
Of course the nanny is defensive and upset. She could lose her job, and have a very difficult time getting another. Something those of us who have to work to support ourselves and our children can understand.
what i find were is how many times does someone see this and respond when they know the poster, the nanny the child, the parents...not offten...yet in this case the nanny posted, a freind of the family and a frined to the OP!
weird.
good for you, OP for reporting this. As a former nanny and now a parent, I can't tell you how easy it is to 'get away with murder' when it comes to nannying. Some nannies would have boyfriends over while children napped, others would take children on all their personal errands, and yes, others hit or intimidate. Someone finally calls someone out on it and everyone takes the side of the nanny??? How do we know all these favorable responses aren't from the nanny herself?
The exact same way that some of theses anonymous postings are from the OP .....get a grip ..For the first time you have the nanny winning and now your complaining...Good always triumphants over evil!!!!!!
9:01 ... common sense would dictate that they are not from the Nanny. We read the posts carefully, looking for similarities (I for one look for repeatative grammatical errors, the same misspelled words, etc., little things that most people would not pay attention to when writing.)And these posts are long enough that we would find something suspect in that they were all from the Nanny herself ... and nope, I don't think they are.
Does anyone else want to weigh in on why they feel confident that these posts are not all from the Nanny herself?
The nanny herself has the right to be heard in the same post as the one calling her out. But this would mean she would have to write Jane Doe herself. I am wondering why she has not done that.
I would also like to hear from the OP again. What does the OP have to say about all of this?
Hello, I am the daughter of the nanny in question and I feel I should express the way how I feel about the situation. My mother has been a nanny for sixteen and a half years, basically my entire life. She is a single mother and does her darn best to raise us. She expresses to us that education is the key and will help to uplift us. I will be entering college in the fall and I am grateful for her to have stood by my side all these years. My mother has worked with numerous families for long period of times, ranging from Bronxville to Mt. Kisco. We have met all of the families that my mother has worked for and still keep in contact with quite a few. We share Christmas and birthdays with these families as well. I feel these allegations are false not just because its my mother but she always expressed to us about liars. She always says "Once your a liar your a theif". As a teen at times I may lie to get myself out of trouble but for some reason she would always know. I think this can potentially harm my mother's reputation and also cause her to lose her job.
10:56
Dear daughter ... if you've noticed you will see a majority of people standing up for your mom. The only way her reputation could be ruined is if the OP decides to bad mouth her outside of this avenue, or her Employer reads this post and choses to believe that she actually hit her son.
10:35
I'm with you ... I would love to hear from the OP again since so many have come to the Nannys defense. I would also like to see her Employer post in her defense - she must be reading this blog, and know whats going on. If Nannys reputation is as stellar as everyone says, the parents of this little boy must realize that she is a good person.
A reputation is very easy to ruin based on lies.
As far as ble's comment that the "lady doth protest too much" that's just crap. Good job trying to be all literary but in real life if someone is innocent and being accused of something, they all react differently. I myself would be very defensive. There is no way for you, ble, to know if she is innocent or not. Who are you, a detective from Law & Order?
The only people who really know the story are the ones involved. All we can do is speculate. I'm glad the post was removed, although it's a bit late. I'm losing alot of respect for this site. It seems like it is turning into a witch hunt.
5:31,
You're glad the post was removed-
although it is a bit late?
For the record the nanny involved NEVER contacted me. In the past anyone who had a problem with the content of a post contacted me and the post was removed.
At no time was I contacted by any person who requested this post to be removed. The comment I published in place of the original post was an anonymously submitted comment to the post.
This is the first (and last) time I will ever pull a post without being contacted directly and asked to have a post removed.
Yes, I'm glad the post was removed and I think it is a bit late.
It doesn't really matter if the person contacts you or not. A false accusation could still ruin a person's reputation. And I stand by my opinion that this site is indeed turning into a witch hunt.
I think if you stand by your stories and the things you post, you should keep them up. If you are pulling posts down, regardless of why, it is obvious you have changed your mind about their validity, in which case they were not valid to begin with, meaning that you posted them in haste, which is hurtful and irresponsible.
Thank you for allowing me my opinion.
If a person has a problem with a post, they should contact the blog administrator.
We are no more able to today than we were 9 months ago able to guarantee the validity of any claim made to this site.
We have to assume people submitting information to this site are doing so in good faith.
http://img133.imageshack.us/img133/3272/disclaimerisawyournannylt5.jpg
You know what they say about people who assume... Ass U Me
Looks like you are being burned for being sympathetic to the nanny in question's daughter.
You can't win!
7:00-
Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz
I don't beleieve for a second that 652 gives a rat's ass about the nanny who was posted about. She hates the site. I am sure there is a long line she can go stand in.
As for the nanny posted about in this situation, I live in Pelham Manor and I know the child. And I heard about his awful nanny by word of mouth. Yesterday I was directed to this site.
So, yes a reputation is a terrible thing to ruin but for some reason the original poster has her claws in this nanny. And even thought the post is down, she is doing her damage around town.
to 7:06,
I do care about the nanny who was posted about, and I resent your comment. However I only resent that part of it.
I totally agree with the rest.
"witch hunt" and "assume makes an ass out of you and me". anymore cliches loaded up in your cylinder?
Fire away.
Viva La Help!
Sure, 7:22, here's one...
cliches are cliches because they're true.
Does that one work for you?
redundancy is the hallmark of an addled mind and wilted spirit.
Really? I always thought 50 cent words were the hallmark of an addled mind and wilted spirit.
They are only "50 cent words" if you don't understand them. And all the above words are fairly common useage, so...
the nanny sighting may or may not be accurate. Pulling a post does not mean it wasn't true, but it seems to be a courtesy extended by Jane Doe to protect someone singled out for bad nannying who claims the post is untrue or someone, who for other valid reason, requests that a post be pulled. I agree that only parties directly effected should be shown that courtesy.
The request to remove the post was made by the family of the child. They do not want the name of their child (who of course is a minor) and the school he attends, posted on a public website. Who could blame them. I think it was a responsible move by the web admin.
There was NEVER a request to have this post pulled. I decided to remove the original post myself after reading the comments from the nanny's daughter and the nanny's former employer.
Either she did it or not (probably not, but who really knows other than those involved?). Either way, if she is such a great nanny, her employer should believe her and she whould not be concerned about her job. I find it terrible that anyone has to be judged guilty or not by many (not all) posters who have nothing better to do than insult EACH OTHER and call names to other commenters in comments not directly related to the post. If the OP is lying SHAME ON HER, but hopefully this nanny has a good enough relationship with her employers to not be too concerned about her job, and if not, I'd have to wonder why. One question though: Can't the child be asked if he was hit?
JD ~
Although I applaud you for pulling this one post, because of the extenuating circumstances, I would hope that you stand your ground in any other case if you have people complaining to you to take it down ... especially if there is no validity to some of those that come to the defense of the "bad Nanny". I think it defeats the whole purpose of this website. We have a relatively unusual name tagged with the name of the childs school - already more info than most OPs provide. I am very curious as to why the parents of this child never contacted you - it seems they would know of the post because of the controversy surrounding their Nanny. I also wonder why the OP never posted back after having so many people responding. She must know that if there is a witch hunt ... it would be for her.
As for 6:52, she sounds a little disgruntled for some reason, and nothing you do would appease her anyway.
In this instance I think you made the right decision after receiving those letters, albeit anonymous ... it's still better to be safe than sorry when so many have reported that this Nanny is a superior Nanny.
I think you are providing an excellent public forum that in the long run will come out on top for having protected so many children. Personally, I think you deserve a medal for that.
~ a fan
For the sake of K., I'm relieved to hear that the post was false. Shame on the poster to report such serious allegations. What kind of a horrible person would do something like this?
As I said, my child knows this little boy. We live in New Rochelle so this was of special interest to me when I came across it. I wasted no time in immediately contacting the school so they can notify the parents. You don't want to take a chance when it comes to child abuse. If my children are ever involved in something like this, I would want to know. After I take all the facts into consideration I would decide for myself if I think it's true or false.
If this nanny has been falsely accused it's really sad but she should not worry about losing her job over it. I'm sure her employers know the real story and if she is as wonderful as everyone claims, her job will be safe and her reputation intact. An honest person is always worried about his/her reputation.
People should really be more careful when they post here. This should not be a place where people go to take revenge on people they hate or gossip because they have nothing else to do with their time. It's not fair to the rest of us who want to help and take child abuse serious.
who said the post was false?
12:03 pm
Point well taken. I'm assuming and we all know what happens when one assumes.
Thanks for pointing that out.
Jeez! Are we really still on this (myself included)? There is 'evidence' on both sides it seems. OP...PLEASE respond and tell us all what happened in the end so we can move on to the next train-wreck.
Jeez! Are we really still on this (myself included)? There is 'evidence' on both sides it seems. OP...PLEASE respond and tell us all what happened in the end so we can move on to the next train-wreck.
12:17,
I very much appreciate your kind words.
I read the original post and I don't know whether it is true or not, but if it isn't true - that original poster should be beaten to a pulp. Posting false, defamatory comments like that can really destroy someone. If those allegations are false, OP you should be ashamed of yourself!!!
not to advocate violence,
I think an apology is in order.
Anyone else getting tired of not hearing the true resolution of these sightings?
reminds me of ole sleeping nanny in the park slope area.
Oy, What a hubbub over nothing at all. As usual here...
10:48PM, I agree with you. We will probably never get to the bottom of this case. The bottom line though is that someone is telling lies.
I'm actually bored with this now.......zzzzzzzzzz
This kind of post bothers me alot because when it comes out to be "alledgedly" false, and from all that I've read, I believe it is ... there are going to be others not wanting to take this as a reputable site.
Case in point ... the "Storytime at the Zoo" Nanny. We have a Father stepping forward to protect his son who may have been mistreated, and is doing his best to find the truth - has to read such dribble and then worry that the same thing happened to his Nanny. What if it's true? Nobody but the poor kid suffers, as usual.
Damned be those that tell such lies.
Mad Props to Chicago Dad for contacting the blog. I think it is very strange that the family of the child involved of this post never did. The nanny did. The nanny's daughter did. A woman purporting to be her former employer. Strange. Corage of convictions anyone?
And I would agree. I think it is unfortunate when people use this forum to settle a score. What I deduce from this original post is the nanny pissed off someone. ??
And this blog now gives a landing place for all of these sightings. Before this blog had become popular, I saw them on Park Slope parents board, Craigs list and Urban baby. Wise up nannies, when you mistreat children, your information will get put out there.
Nanny's Daughter:
Please update us. Did the school contact your mom's employer? How did it turn out?
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