Friday

Filene's Basement at 79th. & Broadways in NYC

Received Friday, June 15, 2007
Earlier this afternoon (6/15). I saw a nanny heavily engaged in personal shopping at Filene's. She seemed to be neglecting and borderline mistreating the child in her care. The child in her care was Caucasian & Asian, wearing white shirt with roses on it, about 14-20 months of age. The nanny was Puerto Rican and/or African American with a solid build, stern face, hair in a very, very tight bun, high arched eyebrows and wearing a grey ribbed t-shirt. She was pushing a cream colored stroller with green stripes on the liner. It was a lightweight walking style stroller. The little girl was crying and being ignored. The nanny haphazardly whipped the stroller around and faced her away from her as if to demonstrate her intolerance. She further showed just what she thought of the child when she rammed the stroller in to a clothing rack with dresses. The baby would not stop crying. The child kept dropping things from the stroller, including a yellow and white bear which the nanny kept picking up and throwing back in the stroller as she made aggravated sounds. The nanny repeatedly said "hush". The child was facing away from the nanny 90 percent of the time. The nanny than went in her handbag, (black nylon style, with a quilted look to it and gold accents) and fished out ... and this is what made me decide this was worth posting... are you ready...a king size Kit Kat, also known as a "Big Kat". Which she started to open and hand her a piece but instead she handed her the entire thing with half the wrapper removed. I didn't hear the child again after that as I gradually sifted through the racks. I saw them again about twenty five minutes later near the checkout stand. All I saw was an empty wrapper and the nanny had a wetwipe or cloth and was harshly scrubbing the chocolate off the baby's face, hands, stroller, neck, etc. Again, showing signs of absolute exasperation. As if she hadn't handed her the inappropriate snack. No, I don't know that she ate the entire thing, but should she have been eating anything? And for what? To keep her quiet?

30 comments:

Anonymous said...

How terrible? I would be furious to know that my baby was being ignored and being fed a candy bar for a snack to keep her quiet. This nanny should be fired. All this so the baby can stay still while she shops. This poor child. This is not borderline abuse. It is abuse, period. I hope that the parents of this innocent baby sees this posting and take action immediately.

How difficult is it to take some age appropriate snacks with you when you go out? If you can remember to bring a candy bar, you can surely remember to pack some healthy snacks. She should not call herself a nanny and should not be taking care of children. Maybe that's the problem. Everybody claims to be a nanny so they can make the nanny money but few really are qualified to be a nanny.

Why are there so many bad nannies in New York and many of them get paid so well? It's so sad. I feel for these children and their family.

Kathryn said...

Though the candy bar is far less than ideal, 5:16, I think calling this abuse is a bit of a stretch.

Anonymous said...

I agree. It's abuse. What a piece of snot nanny.

Anonymous said...

Katherine (8:38)
O.k., I want you to bring your daughter (or son, it doesn't matter), over to my house ... I will watch them for you. (Don't worry, I won't charge you an arm and a leg). Then, if you don't mind I'm going to take your baby shopping with me ... it's about time I got some new clothes. I hope she's already been fed - cuz all I got with me is a Kit Kat. But don't worry, I'll share. Oh, and don't let me forget to bring along her little stuffed animal as I plan on ignoring her the whole time. Let's hope she's well rested because I'm in no mood for a bunch of crying either. I can get aggravated and might take my exasperation out on your kid. I could lose my patience and treat her gruffly. She may not get much kindness, attention or tender loving care from me if I'm in a foul mood.
~~ DO YOU GET IT YET? Do you still think it's not abusive??
.... jerk.

Anonymous said...

although the attention from the nanny seems a little harsh and inappropriate I have to say I work as a nanny for a very wealthy family who regularly feed their children (2&4) chocolate bars for snacks and even meals (with chips) and give me these things to feed the kids all the time all families are different and just because one is wealthy enough to afford a nanny doesn't mean they know (or care) about nutrition

Anonymous said...

2:05:

I'd bet the farm that the family didn't tell the nanny to ignore their kid and feed her king size Kit-Kats. Do you know how dumb you sound?

ceo said...

While to me the Kit Kat is the 'icing on the cake' (especially for a child as young as 14-20 months), I think the real issue is the way the child was treated. Her stroller is basically being used as a weapon, containment chamber, and a place to isolate the little girl from even having some interaction. Instead the stroller should have been pushed carefully, with the little girl facing the nanny and the nanny should have been capable of talking with her. When I shop with my son I ask him what he thinks of colors and different items... he isn't talking yet either.

So lets not get in a "her parents may want her to eat huge candy bars" argument and focus on the real issue, the treatment of the child and the WAY the nanny shut her up.

Kathryn, not "katherine" said...

Yes, I stand by my original statement that it is not abusive to feed a child candy.

Perhaps this shall be an argument over semantics. I find that on this board we tend to vastly overexaggerate the seriousness of what is posted. Of course a KitKat not a great snack to give a kid. I would have been peeved as well to see someone behaving as this nanny did towards a child. But the term abuse is ridiculous. As in "Call Child Protective Services, someone just gave that kid a KitKat!!"?

I try not to pass judgement too harshly. That does not make me a jerk. Thanks for the conversation, though!

Anonymous said...

Feeding the child a kit kat was the culmination of unacceptable behaviors attributed to this person PAID TO CARE FOR THE CHILD that she rammed in to the rack of clothing. I don't care if a nanny takes a child shopping, but while on the clock, the child's needs come first!

Anonymous said...

"I find that on this board we tend to vastly overexaggerate the seriousness of what is posted."

I doubt you would feel this way if it were your child who were being tried like an inconvenience at best or a piece of s**t at worst. Kids this age are in the peak years for learning and developing--pairing them up with someone like this cannot be ideal.

Anonymous said...

Kathryn:

You're not very bright, are you? Read what CEO has to say.

Lorenza said...

no, Kathryn doesn't seem to comprehend the total picture and seems focused only on the KitKat bar. I call that "selective reading". She just doesn't want to be wrong, which she is, btw.

Anonymous said...

I let my baby consume at least two kit kat bars a day as well as several martinis. She gets a little lathargic around noonish, but other than that she seems pretty healthy...

Anonymous said...

ceo: Not all strollers give you the option of the baby facing you...in fact, most do NOT have that option...not everyonecan throw $800 out the window for one of those hideous bugaboos - those damn things don't even come with a cup holder for the child or the parent!

Kathryn said...

The OP states clearly in her post that the KitKat was what "made the story worth posting." This is the cause of my fixation on the KitKat.

I don't want to jump down the throat (or proverbial throat) of anyone that I don't personally see doing something wrong. Perhaps I'm just playing devil's advocate-- I don't really know.

I do know that it bothers me to try and engage in conversation with other bloggers and have no real conversation come out of it. This is what happened the last time I posted something as well-- I was simply jumped on and called names while no true examination of the topic at hand occured.

Thank you all those that feel that I am "not too bright" or a "selective reader." Your perspectives, aside from any baseless comments regarding my education or character, have caused me to rethink mine. Perhaps my perspective will help you reconsider yours as well.

I don't know what it would mean to be right or wrong on the issues presented by simply reading a blog. How could we know what was really going on were we not the OP? I suppose I could be wrong as far as I don't agree with most of the respondents to this post, but further than that...?

Anonymous said...

NANNY'S DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR KIDS! THAT'S YOUR JOB! BE A *REAL* PARENT AND RAISE YOUR OWN CHILDREN OR ACCEPT THE FACT THAT YOUR CHILD IS MOST LIKELY BEING MISTREATED BY YOUR TACKY-ASS, CLASSLESS, NO-GREEN-CARD-HAVING "NANNY".

ceo said...

Anon 9:59
Wow. Thank you for sharing this wonderful insight with me!!! Somehow with my two strollers that face my son away from me, when shopping I am able to handle turning it to interact with him, versus keeping him pointed away with his face in a rack of clothes balling his eyes out.
But go on and defend the nanny as she "haphazardly whipped the stroller around and faced her away from her as if to demonstrate her intolerance. She further showed just what she thought of the child when she rammed the stroller in to a clothing rack with dresses. The baby would not stop crying."

Also, I am aware not every can afford the most expensive stroller, I'm glad you think I sound rich, but I just a humble 22 year old with a 3 bedroom house, a son and two businesses. Not close to rich, someday though....

Anonymous said...

12:15 here ~
Excuse me, "Kathryn" (pardon the incorrect spelling of your name in my op as I was more focused on your officious opinion). I must say that I am saddened that you just don't seem to understand that this childs Nanny has treated her very poorly. And no one ever said it was time to call Child Protective Services, but it was offensive enough to notify the Mother ... and fire the Nanny. There is no way a child could thrive if they are treated like this on a daily basis -- hopefully her mother will notice? I think that if you have a problem understanding my point of view ~ "ceo, 8:30" goes right for the jugular. It's more than the Nannys lackadaisical attitude towards the child ... there is no positive interaction, she was "haphazardly whipping the stroller around, ramming it into clothing racks", (kinda harsh, dont'cha think?), and "hushing" the child. All of that negativity can damage a childs psyche ... "her soul, spirit or mind."
Sometimes emotional abuse is far more wrenching than physical abuse.

Kathryn said...

12:15/8:31--

I apologize if I implied that the nanny's behavior was just peachy. Obviously not, I would have been bothered by that sight as well had I witnessed it(as I already stated once in my responses).

Please remember that when we are discussing a nanny and a child we are talking about two real people, not two talking points. Both nanny and child have feelings and emotions. Lots of times we speak of the nanny as if she were a malfunctioning machine and not a real person that is just as valid an individual as any other adult-- me, you, other posters, the President.

Calling me a "jerk" was what started this whole ridiculously long thread. I'm tired of this discussion and will end by imploring everyone that wants to call complete strangers jerks and "snot-faced" to remember that those you speak of have feelings, too.

Anonymous said...

ceo: I was by no means attempting to imply that you are rich. I am just stating that MOST strollers do NOT give you the option of turning the child or the handlebars around. I certainly was not defending the nanny's treatment of the child, I was just making a point about your comment of the stroller facing away from the nanny.

Anonymous said...

someone better find another bad nanny soon or we are just going to have to talk about the kit kat bandit all weekend! The Horror!

Anonymous said...

I'd still like to know how everyone is so positive that this is a nanny and not a mother, step-parent, aunt, sister, etc. (way to always assume its the "nanny")

Anonymous said...

2:06 ~
I hope you are not the same poster that goes on every board, saying the same thing ... "how do we know it's the Nanny" - it's tiresome. We just take the OPs word for it, assuming they have some common sense when they post the misdeed they are witnessing, ok?
"Kathryn" ~
You say both Nanny and child have feelings ...true - but I hope you are not validating the Nannys abhorrible behavior because ... she was "feeling" foul? Sorry, I still don't think it's alright that she acted the way that she did. It's unacceptable.
However, I will admit I was inconsiderate of your feelings when I called you a jerk. I can be a bit obnoxious at times.
12:53 ~
Love it, and so true! We are all starting to turn on each other! lol

Anonymous said...

I am a nanny, a professional nanny actually. What this woman did was wrong plain and simple. She should not be working with small children because she obviously does not have the patience or nurturing nature that is required.I would be enraged if someone treated the little guy I watch like this, so yes some nannies do love and care for their charges, but like I said I am a professional and am not someone who barely speaks english and is paid $6 an hour, people get what they pay for unfortunately and some are cheap when it comes to their children. They will pay insane amounts of money on clothes, vacations, cars etc. but skimp on childcare and it's sad.

Anonymous said...

2:25 AM
Your post is hateful. I am a professional nanny because I love working with children one on one, rather than teaching. (I have a masters in ECE) I don't think you have a clue about what a real nanny is or does.
I don't need a green card because I am a U.S. born citizen.
My employers are wonderful parents.
UES Nanny

Anonymous said...

This is in response to 10:24 AM.

I have to disagree that you get what you pay for. Sometimes it's the case but not always. A person who truly loves children and is a good person with moral values and good work ethics would never do a terrible job or mistreat a child because she is getting paid less than the "going rate." A good person would do the best job that she and when a good paying job comes along she will leave with a glowing recommendation.

Parents have to take the time to interview many candidates, do background check and follow-up with recommendations before hiring a nanny. There are a lot of nannies getting paid a lot of money and claiming to be "professionals" and they are not fit to care for animals let alone small children.

I had a wonderful nanny that didn't get paid the "going rate" or even close to it because I can't afford to pay her that. She was with me for a while. She took wonderful care of my children and really loved them. She left to go back to school, which I supported her decision 100%. After being gone for almost a year and tryig out some of these "high paying" nanny jobs that everyone keeps talking about, she wants to come back and work for me for the same money, which brings me to a very important point. Sometimes it's not always about the money. Many times it's about the way the family treats the nanny, the special way that they show her how much she means to them and the way that they welcome the nanny into their family.

I am not in a position to pay my nanny much but I will go out of my way to treat her right and show her how much she means to me and my family. I talk to her and give her advise as if she was my sister and I always take her feelings into consideration. Sometimes there are intangible benifits associated with a position that is important to the individual. Money is very important but not the driving force for everyone. My nanny knows that I have the potential to make a lot of money one day real soon and she knows that she will be right there with me enjoying the benefits.

Before the nanny accepts a position, she knows her schedule and how much she is getting paid. She has a choice to say, "no thanks" and keep looking. If she accepts that position, she has an obligation to do the best job that she can. I know that I can get paid more money for what I do but I took the job knowing what I was going to get paid and I will make sure that I put 110% every day. I'm not going to sit around and do nothing because I don't get paid enough. That's my problem. I accepted the position. Now I have an obligation to either prove to my boss that I'm worth more or find another job.

Some people just have no work ethics or moral values. They can get paid $100/hour and they will still not do a good job, mistreat a child or find something to complain about. Some people are just not good people - plain and simple.

So no, you don't get what you pay for if you take the time to be choosy and pick the right person. You get what you pay for when you don't do your homework.

Anonymous said...

10:24 here

10:07 yes you are right too, I'm not saying it's all bad. I guess my point was about the people who can actually afford to pay their nanny the going rate and don't. They go with the person who told them she would do the job for the least pay, it happens. I have seen families pay the captain of their yacht 10 times as much as they paid the woman who cared for their children. You're also right that treating your nanny well is going to get you a happy nanny who feels good about coming to work and will do a wonderful job. I have taken jobs that paid me considerably less than other families I was interviewing for because I could tell working for them would be a much more enjoyable experience. I guess it comes down to mutual respect. You sound like a wonderful employer and I'm glad you have found a good nanny.I din't mean to imply that all parents were cheap.

Anonymous said...

Hi 1:03:
I just wanted to make a point and I thank you for taking the time to write back. Have a wonderful day!

Rachel said...

This sounds exactly like something my MIL would do -- bribe my child, then display complete exasperation at the logical consequences of her own actions. And this is why I now use a nanny!

Anonymous said...

y'all ARE SO NOSY, IT MAKES NO SENSE. WHY CANT EVERYONE JUST MIND THEIR DAMN BUSINESS, WAT THE HELL IS UR NANNY DOING, WHY DONT ALL THE PARENTS TAKE CARE OF THEIR KIDS FROM NOW ON, SO ALL THE CHILDREN WILL BE TREATED RESPECTFULLY, EAT HEALTHY AND JUST ALWAYS BE IN THE PLAYGROUND, OR HOME. STOP BEING NOSY AND DONT JUDGE.