Received Tuesday, May 1, 2007
At about 5:45 pm tonight (Tues 5/1), I saw the most horrible thing on 3rd Ave/87th. street right outside gap kids. There was a girl, age 7-10ish, she was wearing green- I think with wavy light brown/dark blonde hair, and she was with a nanny who was either Caribbean or dark-skinned Hispanic, heavyset, and tightly curled shoulder length hair, and a man who was either the girl's father or grandfather - he was medium height and was balding with shaggy white hair. anyway, the man was like abusing this girl. I have never seen anything so horrible. He was pulling her hair - HARD - and she was just crying like you've never seen... I am not explaining this well at ALL, but this guy was disgusting and incredibly abusive, and this was just the sickest, most awful thing I have ever seen.. He was about to scalp this girl he was pulling her hair so hard and just screaming out at her in the most abusive, loudest voice.... If you know this family please contact the mom, or someone who can help the girl.
41 comments:
Seriously... the police could have tracked down the family and taken care of the abusive person... I can't help but think why people let this stuff happen right in front of their faces and don't take more appropriate action IN THE MOMENT. Ugh...The things children go through BEHIND closed doors is far worse. We can only make it better by using our voices when we see it in public.
Umm... Why didn't you call 911 yourself? Wondering why you just stared at the incident?
op here: i could not stop them because they were walking quickly (southbound, if it matters). there is no way the police would have gotten there in time or anything like that, and if i had stepped in myself i would have probably been risking my own safety. to be honest, i probably would have called the police if i had time to think, just to see if maybe they could track him down, but i didn't even think to because they were walking so quickly and i was just trying to get a good description of them. i am clearly trying to help this girl, okay?
see, i disagree. it doesn't seem clear that you are trying to help this girl. i dubt you were in much danger from dad/grandpa or the nanny, and you could have at least interjected with a "hey - not so hard!" if you were unwilling to do much more.
you could have caled 911 and followed behind them until the squad car showed up. stayed on with the 911 operator, saying "okay, now we're on 3rd &87th, we're travelling north, now we're at 88th, now we're at 89th . . ."
this would have taken maybe 10 minutes of your time, and would have made a huge difference in the kid's life. but instead, you did nothing, but are now feeling all self-congratulatory about taking the time to type a few sentences into a blog that will do nothing for the kid. very admirable.
haul off and clock these people who are mistreating kids. that way when they get back to the cave they crawled out to, they can explain to whoever allowed them within ten feet of a child just why they have a black eye.
estimated time it takes to swing a left jab- .9 seconds.
Thanks, Sugar Ray, but for the rest of us, we have mouths and instead of cowering in fear, we need to use them. Speak up! It's not about you. It's about the child.
OP, you're a complete idiot. You're trying to help the girl? HOW? You witness an obvious case of child abuse and you go home to type it in a blog? Have you never heard of 911?? Just imagine what that poor kid is going through right now. If these people did this in public, just imagine what they do in private. Thanks for giving us all the image of this helpless child being abused with no one to help her. I'm sure I'll sleep great tonight.
I totally agree with 815.
mandy and anastasia-
why do you have blogger profiles and no blogs? I don't get it. You don't need one to comment. And when I click on your name, I expect that you want to draw people back to your blog. anyone else notice this? or care to explain? what am i missing?
I cannot help but wonder if this was a child abduction. You should have called 911.
Before you freak out and yell at a person for posting it on this blog instead of accosting the parent, know this. This story was told on another parenting site. It was sent in to this blog to further widen the loop and alert the parents. I don't know why OP did not act when she had the chance. I do know this- people care. And they try to spread the word. And reach the parent. And that's not an uncool thing. Yes in a perfect world, we would all do the right thing immediately. Hindsight is always 20/20
OP-
now that you have had time to gather your composure. Please provide more details. What was the nanny's interaction with the child?
11:52, I can only speak for myself, but I did intend to use the blog and write in it, just never got around to it. I very rarely leave a comment here, so I forget I even have the blogger account. I have a diary online on another site that I've kept up since 2001, so I'm just used to writing there. I'll get to it eventually.
I don't understand why the nanny didn't do anything. The parents probably know that gramps is abusive and crazy. Just because he's a grandfather doesn't mean he should be around his grandkids. The only way to wake up these people up, esp. the parents, is to get officials involved. Hopefully, help can get to the girl before she is too scarred. Disgusting.
12:45 - that was my first thought too!
OP: How can you be sure this child was not being kidnapped. A kids clothing store is an easy place for someone to grab a kid and get away.
Regardless, a call to 911 would have been well worth it. I know if I was you I wouldn't be able to sleep wondering if there are parents at home hysterical because their child has been kidnapped OR if there is a child cowering in a corner of a basement somewhere because she was abused and is afraid to breath for fear of being killed.
PLEASE PEOPLE USE THOSE CELL PHONES THAT ARE GLUED TO YOUR HANDS AND EARS ANY OTHER TIME!
People shouldn't assume "oh, the police won't get there in time" - police will come pretty fast for situations involving a child in danger, why not give the police a chance? and 2. when I've called the police in a situation where I saw a woman being abused, a number of police cars were there within 2 minutes.
What if that man killed that girl later that night? There are probably a number of people reading this who are inhibited in a way they should really get over. It's upsetting the way people are inhibited even from calling 911 for a hurt child. For your own sakes, you need to learn to yell for help - immediately, not 48 hrs later. When you get attacked, are you going to be "afraid to make a scene"? Any woman with this problem needs to start mentally rehearsing how they're going to react immediately the next time they're witnesses to or victims of violence.
I'm just speaking from experience from when I was dragged down the street by a mugger, on a Friday night in front of the Philly Academy of Music, in front of hundreds of adults, all of whom stood around. No one came to my aid. Hundreds of healthy adults, standing around watching a single homeless man (who turned out to be armed - but with a scissors - because he was a purse snatcher by trade) drag a 22 year old woman with a broken arm down Locust St. No one called 911. But I'm proud that I was kicking and screaming as I was dragged down the street, and finally he dropped me and ran away. So I speak from experience when I ask you to 1. call 911 immediately 2. step in if you can - can't 10 or more adults on a sidewalk overpower a single man? 3. Get over your Victorian inhibitions against "making a scene".
Hello,
To all of you who are judging the original poster, I just want to say this - sometimes it is easier to be angry at the poster than the actual situation. When we see children being abused, it is a horrible thing that cuts right to our hearts.
As someone who works in the social services field, there are two things to note about this case: 1) If the OP had said something to the abusive guy, they would have gone home and taken out their frustration at the child. While your intentions are good, the outcome would be bad for the child. 2) If the OP had called 911 or CPS (Child Protective Services) for someone pulling a child's hair, there is a good chance they would not have taken the case. The OP had no idea where this family lived, etc, and they were walking away. Did you expect her to restrain this family herself?
Instead of punishing this poster with harsh words, why don't we try to work together to figure out who this is, where they live, etc., so that some real help can happen. Chances are there are worse things happening to this child behind closed doors.
11:52... as a busy nanny. I only have time to look on here occasionally at night (today happens to be a day off). I haven't written in my blog or created the rest of my profile yet and like Anastasia, I too rarely post.
thanks for answering M & A
I was just curious.
There is a point at which some kind of intervention is warranted. I believe it was here.
I never got the impression that this child might be kidnapped because the nanny was standing right there. However, Dad/Grandad was behaving badly enough to call the police. Seriously, the police would have responded quickly. Also a police report would be irrefutable evidence to the rest of the family that this man needs help and the girl should not be with him. Apparently even being in the presence of another adult is not enough to make him behave. What an awful man! Hope the family can protect this little girl. Ugh.
well don't google this unless you want to have your heartt skip a beat but i have seen a number of articles recently about babysitter's boyfriends abusing, hurting even kidnapping the kids they girfriend watches. this could be nanny's skevatzo boyfriend.
Even a better reason to call the cops and document that a stranger was abusing her while in the nanny's care. It might be the only way parents find out.
correct, jmt
jmt is oft correct
jmt, why dont you set up a blogger profile. complete with pic & hobbies.
He sounded fairly old, so I doubt he was the nanny's BF. Most likely the dad or grandfather.
how do we know the other adult was the nanny?
Perhaps Alec Baldwin was in town enjoying his first "post telephone message" visitation with his daughter?
TEAM ALEC!
Team Rozerem Guy.
I would have knocked the crap out of that guy. I don't care if he was her father or some random perp. When the penalties for hurting and mistreating children become swifter and harsher, the abuse will stop.
Off with their heads.
Shame on you.
An adult abusing a child on the street and all you can do is type?
Your responsibility as part of civilized society is to intervene.
Every child is our child.
You should be ashamed, you've done nothing.
"if i had stepped in myself i would have probably been risking my own safety. "
I hope no one thinks that when you're being beaten.
You did a terrible thing.
pipe it on down Rambo the housewife. I agree that more should be done, however we all sit in judgment looking on actions as they played out. My guess is she posted her wishing she had done something at the time. And if you look above, you will see the very accurate commentary that sometimes when people intervene in public situations, the child ends up getting more abuse at home. I read on here once where one person intervened with a parent smacking her kid in the supermarket. The parent stopped but promised the child he was really going to get his ass beat once they got home. I doubt that good Samaritan felt at all good! It is a tough call. Don't be so judgmental. Most people try to do the right thing.
you should have called the police!
312, yes it would seem.
of course, we also should never have invaded Iraq.
In retrospect, it sure seems like a bad idea.
Hindsite is 20/20
318
how the fuck is invading Iraq equal to not helping a child?
A bunch of fucking cowards.
If the world took a stand to care for their children no one would be able to make this website.
People would have some shame in the total neglect of their children.
geez you are pissed off, but are you really a housewife? What man is so brave?
I am a nanny and I do see lots of bad things happening kids while I am out and about with my charges , but for the safety of the kids I don't get involved . I don't want to go back to the parents and tell them that their child had witnessed their nanny in heated verbal exchange or worse (you never know how people will react when they are defending their actions). So I am greatfull for this blog so we can let parents know what is really going on with their kids .
There are lots of missing kids out there and she could of been one of them, what parent or care giver would treat a child like this. Unless it's something deeper than what meets the eye. You see something say something.
Wow, pissed off housewife, im starting to think that you and Rosie (O Donnell) are smoking off of the same pipe.....
Wow, for a bunch of adults who want to do the right thing you all sound too critical of each other.
is this site for helping kids or just a bitch session on how someone should have handled a situation?
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